Orphan Black Quotes: "Good intentions, bad science. Sound familiar?"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mrs. S: We'll find [Sarah], Fee. My people are working on it.
Felix: Every time you say "my people," I picture nine squatters around a tire.

Cosima: Sarah's a friend. She's like a sister.

Alison: Are your underpants tear away, mister?
Donnie: No, but the elastic's wearing out so...

Sarah: Just get me a car and a gun and I'll take my chances.

Pupok: Helena, did you hear the one about the pregnant girl who fell down in the desert?

Delphine: You must be Gracie. I know you have probably heard many frightening things about this place.
Felix: A rare instance of Prolethian wisdom.

Felix: Scott, my sister is missing and I am really, really desperate. Now nut up and lead me to the Cyclops.

JJ: I don't think you guys are ready for the next level.
Donnie: Why not?
Alison: Because, Donnie, conspicuous spending is the surest way to attract the attention of the authorities.
Donnie: Cars aren't conspicuous, Alison. They're, like, everywhere.

Rachel: Fffffff.
Felix: Yeah, fff you too. You know, it's funny, your hand was a lot steadier when you were jamming that needle in my neck.

Donnie: You sure about this, Ali? You hate Bubbles.
Alison: I hate the way my mother runs it. But when we own it, we'll run it differently.
Donnie: As a drug front.
Alison: Yes!

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[shapeshifter]

...

Donnie: You sure about this, Ali? You hate Bubbles.

Alison: I hate the way my mother runs it. But when we own it, we'll run it differently.

Donnie: As a drug front.

Alison: Yes!

I guess it would have been more cheesy than Chekhov if they'd cued the first few notes of the Breaking Bad theme song at that moment. Edited May 24, 2015 by shapeshifter

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Sarah: Una cerveza y agua.
Helena: How do you say "food"?
Sarah: Food.

Helena: First I eat. Then we fight.

Alison: Cosima needs my pee.
Felix: What do you mean she needs your pee? What for?
Alison: I don't know. Science?

Jason: Don't let this place fool you. This is the only supplier you'll ever need. Before the crackdown on mail order scrips, he filled an entire warehouse with phamaceuticals.
Donnie: And he knows who I am, right? Everything's copacetic?
Jason: Donnie, when we're in there, don't use words like copacetic.

Alison: Donnie and I worked very hard on that bid.
Connie: Yes, I'm sure Mr. Chubs worked his tail off.
Alison: Don't call him that!
Connie: Well, that's his name, isn't it? Donald Francis Chubs. Oh, I lost all respect for that man when he took your name.
Alison: You insisted he take my name!
Connie: Yes, and he did.

Felix: Now you need bangs, bangs that say "unhappy sexless marriage."

Felix: I know Alison's got a cactus up her ass but you're overclenching.

Alison: We're drug dealers. Donnie and I are dealing pills and we mixed up the envelopes and now he's being held captive by some man named Poochie.
Felix: Poochie? Poochie as in the crime lord that cut off Vic's finger?
Alison: Maybe.
Felix: There are not two Poochies, darling.

Connie: You think that girl is your clone? That makes logical sense to you?
Alison: It's the truth.
Connie: Alison, that girl was mulatto.
Alison: No, she wasn't.
Connie: She wasn't?
Alison: No.
Connie: Well I will never understand that hairstyle.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Delphine. You're improving. How unfortunate.
Scott: Yeah, [Rachel]'s already got a house, a goat, and a milking stool.

Shay: Hi, Scott.
Cosima: He loves lesbians.
Shay: Oh, he does?
Scott: Well, I, uh, can I sequence your genome?
Shay: Thank you, but I draw the line at sharing that information with a corporation.
Scott: She's smart.

Helena: Sestra Alison has good taste in men. You have meat on your bones. You are strong like baby ox. This I like.

Felix: Just think, Sarah. Had you finished high school, that could have been you.

Krystal: A man who cares for his extremities. That's hot.

Felix: Have you ever played this game? It's called What's Your Porn Name?
Krystal: No, but can it be anything? Like Bitch Mistress of Cumalot?

Cosima: Of course we made a copy. We're not complete idiots.
[later]
Scott: We should have made two copies.

Jason: You boat shoe chino wearing bitch!

Edited July 16, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[RachelKM]

 

Helena: Sestra Alison has good taste in men. You have meat on your bones. You are strong like baby ox. This I like.

I totally plan on using this as my pickup line from here on out. 

[beedub]

Scott: It's all drama with those two.

 

Donnie: We're not taking in Helena too, alright? We already hired the Amish girl.

Alison: We need to play our part.

Donnie: Alison, she's crazypants!

Felix: Yeah, but she's good with kids. She just needs a bit of socializing, and to be taught a couple of life skills.

 

Sarah: Looking good Rachel.

Rachel: New... accessories.

 

Felix: If we're going to go road tripping to steal some poor clone's identity, I've only got one demand: I get to choose the music!

 

Shay: Dude, you rock Rune Wars? I play this game with my brothers all the time.

Scott: Really? Cosima shreds at it! I've got a gaming group, bit of a sausage fest, but maybe you'd like to...

 

Delphine: You know, my security concerns are not jealousy – I'm French. We enjoy lovers.

Cosima: Wow, OK.

Delphine: Can we just put our minds together, like we used to, and leave the crazy science out of it?

 

Helena: You funny man, Donnie Hendrik.

 

Felix: You're not the only hustler in the family.

 

Crystal: My biggest fears are literally, twins, and clowns.

Felix: Clones?

Crystal: Clones? Clowns!

Felix: Clowns! No, clones are worse - twins.

Crystal: Twins? Way worse! Terrifying!

Sarah: Hey, steady on, Fe!

 

Felix: I'm pretty good with my tools.

Crystal: I bet you are!

Sarah: Wow, Fe, you don't have to shag her, just get her info!

 

Rachel: Agricola, Scott!
Scott (to Delphine): Uh, it's therapy?

 

Rudy: You have a very extensive sci-fi collection Scott!

Scott: Th-thank you.

Rudy: You think I could, borrow a good book? You think I'd like Asimov?
Scott: Probably, a classic.
Rudy: Hmm, too heady, is that what you're telling me?

Scott: Go ahead, take it. Take the Foundation Trilogy.

Edited June 9, 2015 by beedub

[paulvdb]

Helena: "You should not threaten babies."

 

Donnie: "This is a bit more than we were owed."
Helena: "I do not think they will be coming back for change."

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Helena: Very good. You are fierce warrior. You will win this competition.
Jemma: Oscar says I'm too small.
Helena: No, small is good. Small is a weapon. You stand this close. When I hit, you block. Then you look at me in the eyes and you punch. I am choking so you come where I am vulnerable. Squeeze my eyes.
Gracie: Helena! We don't do things like that anymore, remember?
Jemma: I don't think I'm allowed.
Helena: No, of course not. I am a mother now. I walk a different path.

Terry: So we slipped you out of the orphanage. Do you remember that?
Sarah: Sort of. I remember being at your house in the country.
Terry: Nah, weren't mine. It was one of a few places we had back then.
Felix: Do you mean like safehouses? Where you were, like, hiding fugitives?
Terry: Yeah, and a place for Carlton to shag your mother.
Felix: WHAT?!
Sarah: NO!

Cosima: I don't sleep talk. Sleep talking is creepy as shit.

Mrs. S: Geriatric wankers.

Helena: Your face is damaged.
Donnie: I was jogging. I bumped into a post. I'm just looking for a bandaid.
Helena: A post made of fists, I think.

Donnie: Helena, what did you do?
Helena: I got refund. We should go now.

Felix: I'll be here...pissing my pants.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[Lugal]

Donnie: She has a bad cold, the kind that messes up your...syntax.

[ottoDbusdriver]

Helena: I have science baby inside me, but you are my first.
Jesse: Gosh sweetheart, you had me at soap-making.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ferdinand: Ever wonder if you're overplaying your hand?
Delphine: Constantly.

Ferdinand: Who's a dirty clone?
Sarah: You are.

Delphine: You're fine.
Krystal: No, I'm not fine! Why do weird things keep happening to me?

Jesse: Wait, a prison break? Holy moly.
Helena: Yes, much moly. I break free my sestra, now Mrs. S is my new mother and I live here and make soap and teach children karate.

Helena: You will be sorry when I slice your bicep.

Rudy: Do you remember your childhood?
Helena: Every minute.
Rudy: I remember sleeping, my brothers breathing in unison. We'd sleepwalk out of bed and all pile in a corner like puppies.
Helena: When I was nine, I was made to shoot puppy.
Rudy: We're just like you, Helena.
Helena: You poison women.
Rudy: We had a purpose, just like you.
Helena: No, you are rapist.

Ferdinand: Oh, stop whining.

Alison: Save room for the ethnic cake.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Janice: Cause of death? I have to go with exploding cigar.

Janice: Well, damn. You ever seen that before? Medically bifurcated penis.
Beth: He did that to himself?
Art: I don't see any advantage to that.
Janice: Perhaps it's a statement on masculine/feminine duality, Arthur.

Felix: Look, constable, I only popped round for a drink. The bar at the Highcroft is very classy. All the bartenders in their little matador jackets.
Police: You were arrested there for solicitation six months ago as well.
Felix: But I was released without charge.
Police: Only this time we caught your blow boy too.
Felix: Well now I'm confused. Is that a sexual or narcotic reference?
Police: Possession, solicitation, public urination. That's nice.
Felix: That was a performance piece.

Beth: I'm looking to get my breasts surgically modified into like corkscrews.

Alison: Frosted greens, muted orange. I can't stand those garish tropicals everyone's using.

Alison: Toodles!

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Kendall: Two houses up in flames inside three months, eighteen hours in the arse of a cargo plane, stuffed in a van in the dark. Christ, I need a fag!

Cosima: Secret lab under a comic book shop, What more could a girl want?

Cosima: Welcome home, sestra.

Alison: I'm completely overbooked. I have no time for neos.

Alison: Shit talking mushrooms, Felix!

Alison: Is that a penis?
Felix: In art it's called a phallus, darling.

Art: [Beth] ran [the city marathon] a few times.
Sarah: No way I'd run 26 miles unless someone were chasing me.

Nurse: I'll just need your health card, Mrs. Hendrix.
Donnie: I've got that right here. There you go
[nurse looks at the photo]
Donnie: She's changed her hair obviously.
Helena: Because it was too ugly.

Nurse: So Mrs. Hendrix, how have you been feeling?
Helena: A little tired and many farts.
Nurse: I can assure you that's perfectly normal.
Helena: But never when having sex with my boyfriend.
Donnie: Husband. Me. Her husband. We have sex. Because she's my wife.
Nurse: Well, that is how all this happened, am I right?
Donnie: You are right. So right.
Nurse: Don't worry. There are many safe positions you can practice well into your pregnancy.
Helena: Oh good.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[kassandra8286]

LOL, Helena is love. Thanks for capturing these in a handy place :)

 

One minor correction (I have to watch this show with closed captioning. Sarah is such a mumble-mouth):

 

 

Alison: Shit talking mushrooms, Felix!

 

Alison: Shi .....take mushrooms, Felix!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Hahaha, that makes a lot more sense. When I heard her say that, I was wondering if that was an expression I'd never heard before or some weird little Alison thing. Now I know the answer is NEITHER!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Felix: Can you hand me the towel, please, so this gets a little less Flowers in the Attic?
Sarah: Please, cover your willy.

Alison: How is [Helena] going to deal with [twins]? That's twice the work.
Donnie: And double the awesome!
Alison: This is Helena we're talking about here. She eats frozen bread and she's murdered people.
Donnie: Well, so have we.
Alison: That's different. Helena's trained to kill people. We're manslaughterers.

Sarah: [Club Neolution] still makes my skin crawl.
Felix: Really? I thought your tail would be wagging, so to speak.

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ira: I'm going to flash the light on your eye, now off. On, now off.
Rachel: Yes, I glean the pattern.

Rachel: How would you like it if teased you about your malformed leg?
Charlotte: I wouldn't let it bother me.
Rachel: You say that, but you don't get to decide what bothers you or not. That's why it bothers you.

Charlotte: This one's igneous. This one's sedimentary.
Rachel: Did you learn that in your online courses?

Alison: My sister has a robot maggot in her face. Now go rent a jack hammer.
Donnie: Maybe we should just buy one.

Ira: Perhaps [Rachel]'s upset because her pituitary hormone therapy has given her facial hair.

Susan: Your obsession with Sarah Manning blinded you.

Donnie: It smells like hot garbage juice!

Adele: I met Julian Schnabel once at a retrospective in LA. I was sort of bulimic at the time so I thought it would be fun to leave a puddle of barf in front of Dog in the Revolving Door.
Felix: What? Omigawd! What I would give to barf on a Schnabel.

Sarah: What did you find?
Art: That my Spanish is pretty shitty.

Donnie: Why do we have to tell [Cosima] where [the face worm] came from? Let's just tell her we procured it. Maybe she'll let it slide.
Alison: She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide.
[Alison unmutes the laptop]
Donnie: So the thing is, a few months ago there was an occurrence that occurred on a cold autumn night. It was very rainy. I remember that distinctly. And the wipers on that car were crap so I was having trouble-
Alison: Donnie.
Donnie: Anyway, one thing led to another and I did shoot Dr. Leekie and bury him in the garage.
Cosima: What?!
Donnie: BUT! But but but, it looks like he has one of those Neolutionist things in his face. So sometimes stuff works out.
Cosima: You killed Aldous Leekie?
Donnie: Boy, did I ever, yeah.

Ferdinand: I thought we were friends, Siobhan.
Siobhan: You killed two of my friends so that would be a no.

Edited April 29, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

My sister has a robot maggot in her face. Now go rent a jack hammer.
Donnie: Maybe we should just buy one.

[In Helena voice] My favorite line. Makes me LOL.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Siobhan: What he wants is to rescue Rachel.
Ferdinand: What can I say? She pierced this armored heart.

Scott: Insulated AND fashionable.
Cosima: Yeah, that's Alison for you.

[Cosima removes Leekie's head from the bag]
Cosima: That's the head of Dyad.
Scott: He never gave me a raise, not once.
Cosima: Who's the science now, bitch?

Cosima: Alison and Donnie are total psychos, but this is a gold mine!

Ferdinand: Ahhh, the frittata, the go to brunch for lazy lovers. Rachel's a foodie too and only a fluffy frittata will she abide.
Siobhan: And here was I thinking psychopaths incapable of genuine human connection.
Ferdinand: Nonsense. She seduced me, you know.

Sarah: Can you find out some more? Maybe start with the [IVF] clinic?
Alison: I'm really more of an idea person.

[Alison hands Donnie and Felix bound presentation folders]
Alison: That is Lifespring Fertility and this is everything I've learned about the place - personnel profiles, services, floor plans.
Donnie: Great job, hon. Clear, concise, color coordinated.

Alison: I've already booked your appointments and these are your IDs.
Donnie: This is good! Did you use the new laminator?

Alison: Oh lard and butter, Donnie. Stop chewing the scenery.

Felix: What the bloody hell are you doing?
Donnie: I'm playing the part, darling.
Felix: No, darling, you're mincing.
Donnie: I don't know what that means.
Felix: Donnie, do you have any gay friends?
Donnie: No.
Felix: Yes, you do. Science commonly holds the belief that 5-10% of your male friends are gay.
Donnie: Not in Bailey Downs.
Felix: Especially in Bailey Downs. The point is you can't tell, so don't act gay.

Donnie: Bad Puppy. My favorite.

Donnie: I got two spicy meatballs for you!

Helena: Little science babies, forgive me. I did not know to feed you liquid nitrogens.

Ferdinand: I know you want to protect Sarah's source but motivating people to share information quickly is my specialty.

Cosima: Are you hella baked or what?

MK: I know you. Ferdinand Chevalier, bastard son of the tenth earl of Sussex, a stigma you still can't get over.
Ferdinand: I wouldn't go that far but top marks for presentation.

MK: You killed six of my sisters and murdered thirty two of our friends and loved ones.
Ferdinand: What's stopping me from standing up and killing one more?
MK: You tell me. Cowardice? Narcissism? Rachel?

Sarah: The guy is garbage, I know, but he saved my life.
Ferdinand: That's true, that's a good point.

Siobhan: I'm going to cut this wire and leave the building.

[shapeshifter]

13 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

[Cosima removes Leekie's head from the bag]
Cosima: That's the head of Dyad.
Scott: He never gave me a raise, not once.
Cosima: Who's the science now, bitch?

I thought it was:

Who's the scientist now, bitch?

[Ailianna]

No.  It was science.  When Leekie was letting Cosima into Dyad, she was the "science" as in the science project.  Now he is.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Cosima: So what were you going to do in there exactly?
Alison: I don't know. Sarah things. Skulk around, look miserable, con people.

Alison: The plans have changed. Cosima is now carrying your child, Donnie.
Donnie: Oh. Okay. Uh, so wait, is she going to be coparenting this child with Julian and I or is she just going to carry the baby?
Alison: Donnie, the baby's fake. It doesn't matter.

Felix: Ever hear of calling first?
Sarah: No.

Kira: Is that a rocket ship?
Felix: You can call it that. I've met men who do.

Donnie: So why can't Douglas wear a suit?
Cosima: Because if you can afford Brightborn, you're beyond suits.
Donnie: Beyond Armani?
Cosima: Trust me. I know these people. I grew up in northern California. It's like the epicenter of obscene wealth and technological invention.

Donnie: I'm gay but I'm not like super gay so like maybe don't play the lesbian angle too much?
Cosima: I'm just going to let that slide.

Donnie: I look like a geriatric skateboarder.

Scott: [Cosima]'s, uh, out for a walk. I mean day long hike. Some walking thing.

Sarah: Please tell me you're not drug dealers.
Alison: Former, okay? Yes, we dabbled briefly in prescription pharmaceuticals but that's all done now and as I recall, when we met you were trying to offload a kilo of cocaine.

Donnie: There's another clone here!
Cosima: What? Who?
Donnie: Big blonde hair, perfect nails, voice like a can opener.

Krystal: The hardest people though are pregnant women cause they're very self centered. The moms are like, "No toxins, please," and I'm like, "Mommy has a moustache. Momma needs bleach."

Donnie: Eyelid teeth?

Edited June 11, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Constable: Are you taking any medications, ma'am?
Krystal: No! Gawd, everyone thinks I'm crazy. Or they try to get my number.

Art: Detective Bell, homicide.
Krystal: Krystal Godderich, manicurist.

Sarah: Christ, a Castor.
Ira: Actually I'm a Libra.

Scott: Leekie's Alzheimer's bot is looking a little peaked. Suppose we should feed it some blood like in Little Shop of Horrors?
Cosima: Yeah, cause that ended well.

Art: Krystal thinks Vidal Sassoon's after her.

Felix: Arthur, this is a hare-brained scheme. Who would buy it? Actually, Krystal.

Siobhan: Call me when you're done with the hair dresser.
Felix: She's an aesthetician.

Cosima: We're going to get that thing out of your face. Then we'll take you for ice cream - if you're good.

Susan: Do you know why your biology is so unique, Mrs. Malone?
Kendall: Just my bloody luck.

Kendall: I'd spit but [Susan]'d probably bottle it.

Art: What the hell are you wearing?
Felix: What? International intrigue lacks flair.

Kendall: No tears, Cosima. These shites aren't worth the salt.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alison: Oh, fudge! Fudge it! Fudge me!

Alison: There are hot dogs in the freezer, mister. I'm putting my foot down.

Hell Wizard: Listen to your lab partner.
Cosima: She's dead. No offense, Scottie.
Scott: Some taken, actually.

Rachel: It's fortunate you found such an ineffective means of suicide, Ira.

Donnie: Ali, Gemma will still love you even if the decorations aren't symmetrical.

Tito: What's your story?
Dizzy: I'm a clone. There's twenty two of me out there.

Dizzy: It's like babysitting some football hooligan.

Scott: We wouldn't even know how to implant [Sarah's facebot].
Cosima: Cut a hole in my face and stick it in.

Felix: Somehow during Krystal's misguided but oddly effective investigation, she found herself on the trail of Delphine.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Rachel: Age has dulled [Susan]'s ambition.

MK: They told me about you. How's your illness?
Cosima: Um, you know, incurable so that sucks.

Adele: I had to park at the far end of the lot. Y'all don't even have valet here.
Alison: It's a prison.

Felix: Alison is Sarah's twin sister.
Adele: Oh, thank God. I thought I was losing it for a minute.You look just like her except with less anger and more hygiene.

Adele: I don't want anyone frisking you. It's not as fun as it sounds.

Susan: I suggest you take up a hobby too. Ira, have you shown her your toy soldiers?
Rachel: Perhaps I should take up carpentry. I can build us all coffins.

Susan: Cosima, it's good to see you again.
Cosima: Uh, yeah, I'm a bit conflicted about it, considering who your roommate is. Yo, Rachel.
Rachel: Yo.

Sarah: It's some black Irish shit. you know. Revenge first, consequences later.

Priest: So how is Donnie doing [in jail]?
Alison: Fine. He's very comfortable in orange.

Felix: Go spy on your own bloody sister!

Felix: I thought that maybe something was wrong with Donnie.
Alison: No, just jail.

Scott: Have you thought about how insane you are, jumping in a chopper to a mad scientist's private island?
Cosima: Dude, we are mad scientists. Don't be a hater.

[Isazouzi]

On 03/06/2016 at 2:38 PM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Susan: I suggest you take up a hobby too. Ira, have you shown her your toy soldiers?
 

That line stood out for me, since that's basically what his brothers were, real life toy soldiers.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Felix: I can scarcely believe it - a Castor who favors slacks.

Felix: I'm sure we can all agree that this little diplomatic exchange is rock bottom. Susan gets the brilliant and delightful Cosima forging ahead to save your lives while we get you, Rachel, and your half-baked plan to take down Evie Cho.
Ira: I can assure you it is not half-baked.
Felix: Ira, you fertilized my sister's eggs for science. You don't get to speak too.

Donnie: Here, hold my undies. They're dirty.

Sarah: Hendrixes on bail, Cosima's on the island of Dr. Moreau, and Helena is AWOL. I'm meant to be bringing us together and we're falling apart.
Felix: Well at least you still got Rachel.

Trina: Beth, why are you dressed like that?
Sarah as Beth: I'm undercover. And plain clothes.

Ira: You really don't like each other, do you?
Rachel: She put a pencil in my brain.

Charlotte: You're the sick one - Cosima.
Cosima: You're the sick one too, right?

Charlotte: How do you brush your hair?
Cosima: I don't. I just wake up and it looks like this.

Adele: Did your family threaten Duko or something?
Felix: Adele, you're making it sound like we're the mob.
Adele: So I'm reading this wrong?
Felix: Well, you did just mix mood stabilizers with gin, darling.
Adele: That's brunch.

Felix: Helena, this is Adele. This is my half sister.
Helena: What?
Felix: Different mother, same father.
Adele: So you must be Sarah's other sister.
Helena: Yes, same mother. Womb.
Adele: So it's triplets now?
Felix: Yeah.
Adele: From different regions, from the same stomach. Countries in there? Different countries in there?

Adele: I have so many questions for you, starting with where you got that hat. Have you named it yet?

Adele: Felix neglected to tell me twice that Sarah's got sisters. And you're so prego and foreign.
Felix: Because it wasn't pertinent and I'm not a gossip.
Adele: Oh, you're not a gossip?

Adele: Did you just step up to me, little triplet?
[Helena hisses at Adele]

Felix: Adele, you are so beautifully unsullied by all this shit and I'm not going to be the person who ruins that for you.

Susan: So what do you think of Neolution's forefather?
Cosima: I think he's fascinating - for a racist blowhard who thinks that poverty is genetic.

Rachel: Tell [Kendra] we'll protect her.
Sarah: But what if we can't? I'm not lying to her.
Rachel: Then let me.

Donnie: I grabbed some Imodium in case you want that crab salad again.

[Helena shoots Frank in the neck with an arrow]
Alison: Helena, where did you come from?
Helena: Beaver Tail National Park. It was very peaceful.
[Helena sees Donnie bound and gagged on the floor]
Helena: Donnie Hendrik, you look like roast pig.

Evie: So this is a shakedown.
Rachel: I prefer to think of it as a negotiation.

Edited June 10, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Gulftastic]

What was Helena's quote about the babies kicking?

[King of Birds]

Helena: How is Kira?

Sarah: She's getting bigger. How about you? How are yours?

Helena: Yes. Much kicking. They're fighting like us.

Sarah: Yeah?

Helena chuckles

[godonlyknows]

So this is what you think I look like?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Sarah: How does Krystal figure this shit out?
Felix: I have no idea. She's doggedly wrong but she gets results.

Cosima: Shit!
Charlotte: Swears.
Cosima: Sorry.

Ferdinand: Room service! Frittata.
Rachel: I've already eaten, Ferdinand.
Ferdinand: But have you been serviced?

Helena: You want for me to kill this Evie Cho?

Donnie: Alison thinks we've been hiding out long enough. I don't think the frontier life agrees with her.
Helena: She has the shits.

Scott: Cosima's cut off from the Neolution power vacuum and he calls in a beautician?
Hell Wizard: Sweet move, right?

Krystal: So this is what you think I look like?
Art: Pretty much.
Felix: Yeah.
Krystal: Kay, are you like blind? Cause this girl looks nothing like me. Like first of all, my tits are way bigger. And secondly, even if you could drag a comb through that hair, she's like a seven on a good day and I've been told I'm a ten.
Sarah: Seven?
Felix: She has a point about your hair.
Krystal: Okay, so you guys at this point have literally no idea what's going on. It's so cute. So let me lay it out for you straight, okay? This is about human experiments and two factions fighting to control them.
Art: Shit, that's right.
Krystal: So we have Estee Lauder and then we have this Swedish company called Neolution.
Felix: It's crazy how right you are.
Krystal: Thank you.
Art: Krystal, do you think you could elaborate a little more? Just give us a few more details?
Krystal: Absolutely. But hold on tight because this is very confusing.

Krystal: I'm sorry, who are you again?
Sarah: I'm Sarah. I'm your clone.
Krystal: Right, whatever.

Krystal: So Van Lear knew my name, which was super freaky. And I will never forget his face cause he was so pissed at me for being there. And cause he definitely had teenage acne. I could tell. No question.

Ira: He's wearing his socks.

Sarah as Krystal: Do I look stupid?

Krystal: Kay, why am I giving away my gas cans and my food?
Scott: You're cooperating to survive the zombie apocalypse.
Krystal: Uggggggh, this is so boring! I don't care about the zombie apocalypse! I'm dressed like this to go on a real mission.

Rachel: Clones are fully patented farmed and monitored lab animals. We can now produce them generation after generation. So I propose we marry the best of both worlds: Susan's baseline with Evie Cho's implanted tech. We operate in countries were human cloning is not illegal, where our corporation supersedes their citizenship, their personhood, so why grant them this illusion of freedom? If we want to know if our lab rats' tails will grow back, we damn well will cut them off and see.

Art: I have to say, this is some of your finest work, Felix.
Felix: Thank you, Arthur. I do respect your opinion.

Ira: I've seen you before. Krystal?
Sarah: Krystal would kick your balls into your throat.
Ira: Oh, it's you.

Sarah: Look, I know you care about Susan.
Felix: Oh yeah. The shagging.

Sarah: I'm immune. If I don't fix this, it's my curse to watch my sisters die.

Susan: Power does not equal free will. Rachel, you are owned.
Rachel: A legal description which I can rewrite.

Susan: You are betraying me. You are betraying your sisters. And you are betraying yourself.

Delphine: Altruism poses a distinct challenge to the evolutionist.

[Valny]

Sarah as Krystal:  No pictures!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Felix: Omigawd, Arthur! I almost hit you with a pan!
Arthur: Yeah, well, I almost shot you so we're even.

Felix: Corkscrew through the back of the hand. Pub fighting. Classic Siobhan.
Art: That's a good thing? Now Ferdinand's pissed off.

Felix: Where's Helena?
Alison: She's out hunting.
Donnie: Trapping.
Alison: It's all categorized as hunting, Donnie.
Donnie: I know. But specifically, she's trapping.

Alison: Poop on a stoop!

Felix: Which faction are you from?
Frontenac: There's only one faction now.
Felix: Consolidation - the bane of diversity.

Alison: Fudgey fudgers!

Art: Where are Donnie and Helena?
Alison: How should I know? Helena was out murdering God's creatures and my husband abandoned me.

Alison: A truce? Kidnapping children is the Neo definition of a truce?
 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Sarah: So you've gone full Neo now, eh? I'm not buying it.
Ferdinand: Why not?
Sarah: I saw you kill a Neo with a baseball bat.
Ferdinand: Well, that was personal.

Sarah: Shove it up your bleached ass.

Alison: If you'll excuse me, I have to stop an insurrection at the church fall fair.

Nurse: We're going to do another ultrasound.The neonatal specialist is on her way.
Helena: NEO?
Donnie: That's not what you're thinking.

[Sarah and Felix hug]
Ferdinand: Awwww, touching.
Mrs. S: Why don't you choke on your  own vomit?
Felix: Yeah, piss off.
Ferdinand: I will and I am.

Felix: Who do you think invented sneaking out of this house?

Sarah: Could you lose the slasher mask, please?

Sarah: Let's go kidnap my daughter.

Edited June 19, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[shapeshifter]

These remind me that even if the plot has gone off the rails multiple times, there are still some good writers waiting in the wings.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alison: Tell Rachel that Helena's not going to let her suck stem cells out of her babies.
Fortenac: Not exactly a scientist, are you, Mrs. Hendrix?
Alison: I studied kinesiology.
Fortenac: Well, Cosima is a real scientist.

Alison: Talk to the bouncing hand!

Alison: Dr. Leekie pushed Donnie over the edge. And he didn't have basic firearms safety.

Rachel: I should like to put my hands around your neck and squeeze.
Alison: Then we're not so different, you and I.

Alison: I need to see who I am outside of all of this.
Donnie: You mean like a yoga retreat?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Cosima: They said there's something in the woods. Did you see it?
Charlotte: No, we heard it though. It sounded scary. Mud saved us. She says it's a bear. I think it's an ogre.
Cosima: What's the scientific name for an ogre? Ogreus not realicus?

Kira: I really look like my mom there.
Felix: You do look like your mum. You've been reminding me of her all day - stomping around, breathing like a pug.

Sarah: You always do this.
Mrs. S: I rarely do this.

Sarah: Oy, meathead.

Adele: Did I ever tell you I was disbarred?
Felix: I just assumed kind of assumed it was because you were drinking all the Dom.
Adele: That is a very good guess, but you're wrong.

Helena: I think this old man and Rachel, after babies, we will kill them.

[rur]

This is the source for the titles of the episodes this season, the poem "Protest" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

http://www.bartleby.com/73/1695.html

Interestingly (at least to me), another work of hers contained the line "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone".

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, rur said:

This is the source for the titles of the episodes this season, the poem "Protest" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

http://www.bartleby.com/73/1695.html

Interestingly (at least to me), another work of hers contained the line "Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone".

Thank you, @rur! I tried figuring it out via Google to no avail. So I guess we won't be seeing an episode titled, "Misery Loves Company," heh.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

[Rachel enters Susan's room]
Ira: We've hidden all the knives.

Delphine: I was collecting stool samples.
Cosima: And they say science isn't glamorous.

Cosima: Frock that.

[Cosima enters wearing a tuxedo]
Messenger: This is not appropriate.
Cosima: It's totally appropriate.

Cosima: You have a lot of dead things in here.

Sarah: Kira wants in on the action.
Kira: I'm going to be a hustler too.

Delphine: I promised to protect you.
Cosima: And I promised to defy them. This is what we do. I push too hard and you do things without my consent. That's our relationship.

Cosima: This is what [PT] does. He divides women.

Cosima: How many surrogates?
Susan: 1300 to start.
Cosima: 1300? Those are Kira's children, Sarah's grandchildren. Do you even think about it like that?
Ira: You can stop [PT].
Susan: I can only steer him. And you can help. Together we can mitigate the damage.
Cosima: [Kira]'s a little girl. You're a woman. You're a human being. If you don't start there, there's nothing left to mitigate.

Edited July 9, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Missing a period.

[ratgirlagogo]

Helena:  There is stick in baby.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Krystal: Is [Sarah] actually necessary? Cause she's so rude, every single time.

PT: It's been a long time since the three of us were in this room together.
Virginia: You bought me from that mercenary Ferdinand, locked me up drooling on myself for months.
Susan: Guilty. I disapprove of genocide. She's not a Neolutionist. She is a maniac. We do not need to cull segments of the population to genetically enhance the human race.
Virginia: Well, it sure would speed things up.

Susan: I should have killed [Virginia] when I had the chance.
Ira: Susan, you're not a murderer.
Susan: No. I'm everything but. And that may have to change.

Bree: Doctor Scott, are you really a doctor?
Scott: No, but I dropped out of a doctorate.

Sarah: Steer him to Dyad but don't make it obvious.
Krystal: Len, you sold your company to Dyad.

Bree: You're, like, what, normcore?
Scott: Yeah, the normest.

Krystal: Why would Dyad want a cosmetics company?
Len: I don't know. It's like why did I buy a yacht? Because it's cool.

Art: Krystal, are you still there?
Krystal: I'm peeing and then I'm going to kick him in the balls.

Edited July 16, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Hell Wizard: All right, white Cambridge nerds who died in the 1960s, present yourselves!

Donnie: Ali, your hair!
Alison: Do you like it?
Donnie: It's...artsy.
Alison: Yes!
Donnie: And purple.

Alison: The point of art is to lose control, Donnie, to reveal your inner chaos. I'm uncovering my shadow self.
Donnie: And is that your inner artist or something?
Alison: Could be an artist. Could just be the dark parts of yourself, the subconscious desire that aren't necessarily good.
Donnie: Well if they're bad, don't we want to keep them in the dark?
Alison: No, because then they manifest in behavior - in my drinking and my need to control everything.
Donnie: So this is about your drinking?
Alison: Drinking is the effect of the unexplored shadow self.

Rachel's email: [PT's] anomaly is his ability to deceive.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Kira: Who hurt you?

Rachel: All of them. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Felix: This is my first show in two years. I not gonna have any sestra shenanigans.

Felix: It's settled. We're going to take the day off from crazy.

Felix: Just play along or I'll kill you.

Ferdinand: It must be like Neolution Black Friday.

Felix: My sister and I are orphans, you see, and we could have ended up anywhere. We could have ended up in any family, and if we had we would have been entirely different people, but my mom Siobhan - this woman, she chose us as her own. We are who we are because she carried two little London urchins on her wings to Canada. Watching her raise my sister, watching my sister raise her own daughter, finding my biological sister, it's taught me that we are all mysterious works of chance, of choice, of nature versus nurture. So to my galaxy of women, thank you for the nurture.

Rachel: I told you what I wanted. You chose not to listen.

Siobhan: Chickens.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Siobhan's letter: Just remember, my loves, death is nothing at all. I've only slipped into the next room. You can call me by my old familiar name. Put no sorrow in your tone. I promise we will laugh at this difficult parting when we meet again. All my love, S.

Art: I know you don't think you need this, but you do. It's my turkey chili.

Felix: We're back in the frigid blue arms of the police.

Rachel: Mr. Frontenac was there to terminate you. I know you don't like debt. That puts you squarely in ours. I see only two options for you. Either we hand you over to John or we hand you over to the authorities.
Art: Third option - I pull the trigger for the second time today.

Sarah as Rachel: You're sitting in my chair.

Helena: You are shit mother.

Helena: Babies coming.

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Siobhan's letter: Just remember, my loves, death is nothing at all. I've only slipped into the next room. You can call me by my old familiar name. Put no sorrow in your tone. I promise we will laugh at this difficult parting when we meet again. All my love, S.

I heard this as a rhyming poem:

Death is nothing at all--
I've only slipped into the next room.
You can call me by my old familiar name.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
I promise we will laugh at this difficult parting when we meet again. 

 

Both of these last 2 episodes ended with brief, impactful remarks by characters going through liminal experiences (S dying and Helena giving birth/becoming a mother)...

On 7/30/2017 at 5:15 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Siobhan: Chickens.

 

7 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Helena: Babies coming.

...did the other episodes have similar kinds of last words?

 

I think it was Sarah who said, early in One Fettered Slave, "...alternative facts..." 
Does anyone have the surrounding context handy?

Edited August 6, 2017 by shapeshifter

[Impromptu]

Rachel said "alternative facts" ... she was describing the role of one of the board members. 

[Llywela]

13 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I heard this as a rhyming poem:

Death is nothing at all--
I've only slipped into the next room.
You can call me by my old familiar name.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
I promise we will laugh at this difficult parting when we meet again.

That's because it is a poem (or a paraphrase thereof) - written by Henry Scott Holland in the early 1910s.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Art: You're a shitty partner, Enger.

PT: It's pharmaceutical grade methamphetamine.
Tech: I don't recommend this in your condition..
PT: You think you don't, but you do.

Art: You alright?
Helena: Most excellent.

Alison: You can try my kombucha. It's homemade.

Helena: When I eat, [the baby] poops.

Alison: Do you know what Helena gives the twins for toys? Rocks.

Felix: Who's this then? Got a new man servant already?
Rachel: This is Yusef, my Uber driver.
Felix: Oh. So when I chant, "We are the 99%," it now includes you.
Rachel: I have a glass eye, no friends, and no identity unless I want to be found. Leaves little room for elitism.

Helena: My story is an embroidery with many beginnings and no end, but I will start with the thread of my sestra Sarah who stepped off a train one day and met herself.