Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[LeftPhalange]

 

With Mariah, I can just hear her saintliness comin' down the track. And I hate it. I assume all Tyler's "she had a rough childhood" crap is laying the groundwork here.

 

I wish Tyler would shut up about how Mariah had such a terrible childhood. Lots of people have bad upbringings and they don't grow up to become creeps like she is.

[peach]

Fri, June 6, 2014  Peach Is In A Bad Mood
Jack is back and surprises Kelly at the club.  They kiss.

 

Chelsea watches Stitch video chatting with Jenna about Max’s cough.  She’s WATCHING HIM BE A GOOD FATHER, and gets a sly, plotting look on her face while she thinks about the plan to separate him from his potential other child forever.  You’re dead to me now, Chelsea.  I’m sure Stitch’s secret is 1/100th of whatever your child’s Perfect Father Adam has done.

 

Nikki and Victoria chat about her pregnancy health at the club.  Nikki is wearing an ill-advised leopard print dress, but then, she’s been making some stupid decisions lately.  Billy butts in and wants to go with Vicky to her OB appointment as part of his no pressuring promise. 

 

The police chief makes a house call to Avery about her disturbing internet comments.  He has some news.  Austin listens intently.  Paul wants to talk to Avery alone.  He says the website won’t turn over the IP address , and Avery whines about how she has to WAIT for something worse to happen before they can do anything???  Yes, because of noble defense attorneys, so suck it, Avery.

 

Dylan’s back and goes to Victor’s office.  Victor asks what his money paid for.  Nothing.  Willa wasn’t even there.  Her phone’s disconnected.  He tries to give Victor the payoff money but he tells him to keep it.  Their work isn’t done yet.

 

Vicky’s going to the OB alone.  No Pressure Billy fishes around with Nikki instead, asking if Victoria’s going to divorce him.  Not that Nikki knows of.  She joins Victoria in the dining room, and spreads her codependency around saying how obvious it is that Vicky still loves Billy.  She asks about Stitch.  Well, Victoria cares about him, trusts him, he makes her feel safe.  Nikki thinks she’s just gravitating to Ben to avoid Billy.  Vicky says she’s been honest with Ben about being confused.  Well, Nikki says if he’s okay with THAT, she has to wonder if he’s being honest with HER.  OOOOOMMMGGGG.  Shut UP, Nikki! 

 

Stitch says he’ll check on Max tomorrow, then gets mad when Jenna says he has to wait a week and ends the call.  Horrible Chelsea saunters up and says she didn’t mean to eavesdrop.  She acts all nice and contrite and sympathizes with him while she tries to get information out of him.  She’s super pleased to find out Jenna’s last name and that she lives in Melbourne.  She calls Billy to share.

 

Victoria says she’s being careful, and Stitch isn’t rushing something serious.  Then Nikki is all superior about the whole thing, and I can’t even listen to it.  Jack and Kelly walk in. Oh, great, says Vicky.   "ThatKelly certainly loves Abbott men."  Vicky leaves.  Jack introduces Kelly to Nikki, who manages to look down her nose at Kelly while still seated.  She says she knows Kelly by reputation.  Awk-ward.  Jack says have a nice day.  Kelly shrugs it off because she thinks Victoria’s mom ought to get a pass in this situation.

 

Summer runs into Austin in the park.  “Wish granted!” she says.  He says she leads a charmed life.  Oh my goodness, billionaire double heiress model Summer sure doesn’t think so!  She wants to go with him to Avery’s, but he gets all edgy and says she can’t.  He’s done today.  After today, he’ll have everything he needs from Avery.  Summer frowns.

 

Paul thinks 4MJ knows Avery.  He asks if she has enemies from cases she lost or resentful clients.  She can’t think of anyone in her personal life.  She mentions Ian, and Paul’s like Ian’s a direct confrontation guy for entertainment.  She tells him she confronted Ian anyway, and gets all emotional about how he got under her skin and maybe she SHOULD feel guilty about something.

 

Dylan and Victor figure Willa must really know something if she’s disappeared like that.  Victor thinks she’ll contact Dylan again.  He also thinks there are other incentives to get Ian Ward to stand down.  He  hints that Dylan should do something about that.  Dylan gives him the money back and says he doesn’t work for Victor, but if he gets any more information… Nikki walks in.  She’s like what’s this about?  Dylan says it’s just a conversation and skedaddles.  Blah blah what are they up to?  She wants Victor to leave volatile Dylan out of his plans.

 

Summer is really bummed because Austin says this is the last time she’s going to see him.  He wishes things could be different.  She tries to convince him they can be with passionate kissing.  Jack and Kelly catch them, and Jack’s mouth drops.  Summer is kissing a boy!!!!  Kelly grins.

 

Vicky runs into Stitch at the hospital.  They talk about stupid Billy.  Stitch knows she still feels something for Billy, and he understands.  He says she’s been honest with him, but he’d like her to be like really, really honest with him, and with herself.  He nicely asks if he has any chance at all with her, or if her heart will always be with Billy.

 

Stupid Billy visits Horrible Chelsea.  Billy’s not as motivated as he says he is, because there were just way too many Jenna Rayburns in Australia for him to call them all.  Well, Horrible Chelsea is smarter than Billy and knows he just needs to call Jenna Kieran in Melbourne.  She got it out of Stitch [by being a duplicitous bitch] with a casual conversation.  Billy’s excited. 

 

Victoria says this has been a crazy situation.  She gulps and says, yes, Ben, I do have feelings for you.  She can’t tell him what things will look like a year from now, but she does imagine how things might turn out.  She says a future with Billy is based a little more on fantasy than reality.  She thinks a future with Stitch looks…nice.  And the more she gets to know him, the more she thinks it might be possible.  He looks super happy.

 

Billy compliments Horrible Chelsea on her talents.  She’s super proud of herself for taking advantage of Stitch and how tricking her mark is the “best feeling ever!”  But it’s okay because she’s seen how much Billy’s suffered and she wants him to be happy again, by making other people suffer.  Billy feels weird about just calling this woman out of the blue.  Chelsea says she’ll tell him exactly what to say.  It’s like Chelsea has a new pet.

 

Nikki wants to get some things clarified with Victor, like that kiss.  Oh, now, she’s gonna act like she’s her own woman.  He laughs.  The kiss doesn’t  mean she’s ready to come home or just forgive him for hurting Nick.  He asks what DID it mean?  She hems and haws like a first year starlet, and he decides to just tell her what it meant.  It meant she’s stupid.  Oh, it meant that she still loves him, but she came there to convince herself otherwise.  She cocks her head like a Stepford Wife shorting out.  I guess she doesn’t know what she means unless Victor tells her.

 

Jack recovers from his shock and asks Summer to have dinner.  Well, she might have plans.  But Austin has to jet, you guys.  Maybe they’ll see each other later.  Austin jets, and Kelly goes for a walk, and Jack has an awkward dad conversation about Austin.  She says it’s not as serious as he is with Kelly.  She’s just trying to lose her virginity with him.  She says how about she doesn’t weigh in on his relationship, and he doesn’t weigh in on hers.

 

Paul goes to the coffee shop to talk to Dylan about the very disturbing internet threats.  Oops.  Dylan didn’t know about that and kind of freaks out, but Paul asks him to think about anyone it could be not named Ian Ward.  Avery couldn’t think of anyone, but Dylan CAN.  Well, what do you know.  When he and Avery started hooking up back in Chicago, she happened to still be MARRIED.  Funny how Avery didn’t remember that.  His name is Joe Clark, and Paul’s going to check it out.

 

Dylan calls Avery and goes off on her for not telling him about 4MJ and going to PAUL WILLIAMS instead of him.  She didn’t want him to go crazy 1,000 miles away, and it was Nick’s idea to call the police anyway.  Um, NICK?  Austin’s at the door, so Dylan will have to wait.  She hangs up.  “Like hell I’m gonna wait,” he says and runs out the door. I guess someone else will have to lock up.

 

Avery lets Austin in and tells him the internet creep has stepped it up a notch.  He’s barely restraining his anger, and Avery tells him “that cop” was the chief of police but they haven’t found the person yet.  She’s ready to get started but Austin says there’s been a change of plans.

 

Of course Nikki loves Victor, blah blah blah they’re a part of each other.  “Then what the hell are you doing staying in that hotel?”  She says she ran into Billy at the club and he says, “What does the degenerate Billy Abbott have to do with us?”  Blah blah, Billy loves Victoria.  Victor says, “WELL, THEN LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH!”  Nikki says, “Exactly!”

 

Billy calls Jenna and lies his ass off that he’s from a bank or something, and asks her a bunch of personal questions about her household.  Jenna’s not stupid and asks if he has a web address, and Billy stumbles, so she hangs up.  Chelsea makes fun of him for not being a good enough terrible human being.  Now Billy doesn’t know WHAT to do, because he can’t call her back now.  From THAT phone, dumbass.  Chelsea says he should go see her in person.  I guess nobody has to work this week.

 

Vicky runs into Stitch again AFTER her appointment.  She has an ultrasound photo!  They look at it together.  He’s tickled pink.  Then he’s sad.

 

Billy is like, wow, Australia is really far away.  Chelsea tries to teach him Grifting 101.  Why are they making this so hard?  She hates Stitch, so just ASK HER.  She says the cocky Billy Abbott ought to be able to do this.  He has a better idea, Chelsea should come with him.

 

Jack says if Austin makes Summer happy, he’s happy.  Kelly brings Summer some water, pleasantries, Summer leaves.  Kelly tells Jack he’s a good dad, and she didn’t have that kind of relationship with her own father.  He says your dad died, right?  Oh no, Jack doesn’t get to bring up Kelly’s dad after Kelly just brought up her dad.  Jack just hopes Austin’s a good guy.

 

Austin’s trying to convince Avery to go with him to get his camera at his apartment.  Ooo, gosh, she’s really anxious to get to Dylan, and God knows work doesn’t get in the way of that.  Austin says his apartment’s on the way to Crimson Lights so he’ll take her there.  Avery looks unsure.

 

Paul’s on the phone trying to apply more pressure to get the 4MJ internet address.  His gut says he’s dangerous.  Hey, you know who found Delia’s killer using the internet?  KEVIN.  But Paul keeps talking to this guy instead.

 

Dylan bursts into Avery’s apartment.  She’s  gone.  Dylan knows something’s wrong.  Dude, you coulda sent her an internet message.  She always gets those.

[peacheslatour]

 

I guess nobody has to work this week.

Except Mariah!  Because Nick is still in business, even though nobody has worked in his place for months, but hey I guess when you're a billionaire you can just open and close your business whenever it suits you.  You don't care if your customers forget all about you and go elsewhere.

Hilarious as usual peach!  Love you.

[peach]

Except Mariah!  Because Nick is still in business, even though nobody has worked in his place for months, but hey I guess when you're a billionaire you can just open and close your business whenever it suits you.  You don't care if your customers forget all about you and go elsewhere.

Hilarious as usual peach!  Love you.

It's okay, he can just open up whenever because the only other place customers go is Crimson Lights or the GCAC.  Or The Velvet Room, I guess.  I wish there was a set for THAT. 

[Joimiaroxeu]

Summer runs into Austin in the park.  “Wish granted!” she says. 

That was a really cute outfit Summer had on today, with the matching purse and everything. Wonder why she was so dressed up just be cruising a public park?

 

She cocks her head like a Stepford Wife shorting out.

LOL. Maybe Victor needs to insert some more tokens in the slot in her back.

 

Vicky runs into Stitch again AFTER her appointment. 

It's clear why Jenna moved across the ocean to another continent. Stitch just doesn't give a woman any room to breathe. When he impregnated Victoria he must have also implanted a GPS chip because he's always right on her.

[peach]

That was a really cute outfit Summer had on today, with the matching purse and everything. Wonder why she was so dressed up just be cruising a public park?

 

She was hoping to see Austin!  She just found him in the park before she went to Avery's.

[LeftPhalange]

 

It's clear why Jenna moved across the ocean to another continent. Stitch just doesn't give a woman any room to breathe. When he impregnated Victoria he must have also implanted a GPS chip because he's always right on her.

 

Can you imagine what's going to happen when it's eventually reveled that Billy is the father? We should start taking bets on who he will kidnap - Vikki or the baby. Maybe both. Maybe he'll try to kill Billy too.

[PatsyandEddie]

 

 

LOL. Maybe Victor needs to insert some more tokens in the slot in her back.

 

 

 

Nikki has become so pathetic. She has had some fabulous moments when she has been strong and didn't take Victor's shit. My hubby's ass would be permanent grass if he used one of our grands like this. There are no shades of grey in this situation. Note to Nikki: Victor is a senile asshole YOUGOTTHAT?

[peach]

. Maybe he'll try to kill Billy too.

 

I hope so.

[canucktvwatcher]

It's okay, he can just open up whenever because the only other place customers go is Crimson Lights or the GCAC.  Or The Velvet Room, I guess.  I wish there was a set for THAT.

Let's be honest here - Nick's got the business sense of an Enroc exec and the attention span of a gnat. On a good day.

And the Crimson Shithaus is like a revolving door with its owners. It gets passed around more than a part-time job at Newman Enterprises.

Slightly off topic, but does anyone else notice that the jukebox in Crimson Lights has literally not changed discs in years? There's always that yellow cd art showing. Note to Dylan: take out the jukebox, put in another table. Sell it to get money for repairs on the espresso machine!

[LeftPhalange]

 

And the Crimson Shithaus is like a revolving door with its owners. It gets passed around more than a part-time job at Newman Enterprises.

 

*Insert joke about the knockoff Starbucks being passed around more than Sharin*

[photo fox]

Hasn't Crimson Lights only changed hands twice? Nick and Sharon started it, sold it to Kevin and company, who now sold it to Dylan? Jabot has changed hands a dozen times in the same period.

[SweePea59]

And the Crimson Shithaus is like a revolving door with its owners. It gets passed around more than a part-time job at Newman Enterprises.

By part-tme job at NE, you mean CEO, right?

 

 

Hasn't Crimson Lights only changed hands twice? Nick and Sharon started it, sold it to Kevin and company, who now sold it to Dylan? Jabot has changed hands a dozen times in the same period.

Hmmmm, did Mac buy it and Kevin bought it off her, or did she loan him the $? Now there was that dive bar that changed ownership a few times, but never got upgraded, right? Mac owned it for awhile, I think Cane worked there then bought it from her, there were others weren't there?

[canucktvwatcher]

*Insert joke about the knockoff Starbucks being passed around more than Sharin*

See, I figured this was coming, but thought I'd take the high road with Sharin'. Meh, it's true, though!

Hasn't Crimson Lights only changed hands twice? Nick and Sharon started it, sold it to Kevin and company, who now sold it to Dylan? Jabot has changed hands a dozen times in the same period.

I shoulda thought of that, yes. Owning Jabot is like a Nikki/Victor marriage, or a Billy Abbott promise - temporary!

Jabot is a better example. :)

Ghost Dad John must be rolling over in his grave at how many times his life's work has been bought and sold.

Realization I've had: Real Estate is a hot commodity in GC, and pretty much any locale you want will come up for sale at some point.

Which reminds me: doesn't Billy have a restaurant he still owns to tend to? Has anyone gotten paid at that place in months? For a guy who owns a restaurant, he sure has a lot of time to be a creeper at people's windows, mope and whine about his ex-wife, and sniff around his nemesis' wife's place quite a bit.

Edited June 7, 2014 by canucktvwatcher

[Lamplighter]

Jabot is the corporate equivalent of Sharin.

[LeftPhalange]

To be fair to Sharin, she doesn't look that bad if you compare her to the combined number of times Jabot and NE have been passed around.

 

 

Which reminds me: doesn't Billy have a restaurant he still owns to tend to?

 

Billy no longer owns the restaurant. He made an offhand comment a few weeks/months ago about selling it.

[SweePea59]

To be fair to Sharin, she doesn't look that bad if you compare her to the combined number of times Jabot and NE have been passed around.

 

LOL! And that, folks, is what is known as a left handed compliment!

Bravo, @LeftPhalange!

[bayviewbubba]

canucktvwatcher -  Billy sold or gave away (who cares which) the restaurant.  That's what freed up his valuable time.

[bayviewbubba]

canucktvwatcher -  Billy sold or gave away (who cares which) the restaurant.  That's what freed up his valuable time.

canucktvwatcher -  Billy sold or gave away (who cares which) the restaurant.  That's what freed up his valuable time.

Edited June 7, 2014 by bayviewbubba

[SweePea59]

Bob, is that you?

[peacheslatour]

 

Now there was that dive bar that changed ownership a few times, but never got upgraded, right?

Was that Jimmy's?  I thought Mac worked there for a while.  In fact isn't that where Billy picked up Sharin or am I thinking of two other dipshits?

[peach]

Now he's doing "temporary R&D" at Jabot, maybe a couple hours a week.  It's why he wears a tie.

[LeftPhalange]

So basically Jabot hasn't researched or developed anything in months.

[peach]

Oh, they don't need to, because now they have Chelsea by Chelsea Lawson. 

[LeftPhalange]

That's Chelsea Newman to you.

[AxellaJ]

So basically Jabot hasn't researched or developed anything in months.

 

That's right. It was the same when Dru toppled off the cliff. Her job remained vacant until Neil's next squeeze needed a job.

[peach]

Mon, June 9, 2014  THE CONFESSIONS OF AVERY BAILEY CLARK

 

Night time overhead exterior of Genoa City.  It just keeps getting bigger and bigger.  Dylan calls Avery from the apartment and says he’ll catch up with her at Crimson Lights.  Another phone rings, and Dylan picks it up off the floor.  It’s Summer calling Austin.  Omg, she’s at The Underground.  It IS still open. They both don’t know why Austin’s phone is in Avery’s empty apartment.

 

Paul complains to Kevin that he can’t get a warrant to get 4MJ’s IP address.  They just have to hope now.

 

Avery thinks it’s lame to take PR shots in Austin’s crappy apartment.  He says it’s perfect for what he has in mind.  She realizes they aren’t really there to shoot publicity photos.  “No, we’re not,” says serious Austin.  It’s really hard to find those dimples chilling. 

 

Noah and Courtney have a riveting conversation in the park, looking up at the stars.  Kissing.  Noah gets a text from Nick asking him to come to The Underground.  Omg, is someone going to work?

 

Summer chats with Nick about how everything is wrong.  Boys are confusing.  She hasn’t talked to Austin in a few hours, which is a real crisis.  She just needs her Dad.  She needs Nick.

 

Sharon invited Mariah over to tell her she’s already found her a job.  Mariah can’t believe it.  Sharon says Nick wants her to work at The Underground, cleaning out the tumbleweeds and such.  Mariah can’t believe that either.  “Nick hates my guts.  Why would he do that?”  Because Sharon is super good at sex.  Mariah says she was looking for a waitressing job back when she made the mistake of meeting Victor.  Sharon thinks it’s great because that’s how she ended up with Mariah in her life.  Mariah thinks that’s cray. Mariah says it must be nice to have someone like Nick who loves her so much he does stupid shit for her like hire Mariah.  Sharon says Mariah will find love too.  “Definitely not with Ty,” says Mariah.  No amount of dirty tricks is going to get him back.  SHARON says, “Playing tricks on someone is no way to win their love.”  IRONY!

 

Summer says things are awkward with Jack because he’s dating KELLY.  Eww, says Nick.  Blah blah about Phyllis.   Nick says Phyllis never gave up on Summer, so why should Summer give up on her?  Nick is going to hook her up with a Supergirl milkshake, and they will talk about her almost romance with a stalker.

 

Paul thinks they could get the IP address by asking nicely.  Kevin thinks they should be sneaky.  Paul pretends he’s not okay with that, and goes in his office to answer the phone.  Dylan has frigging called THE CHIEF OF POLICE because Avery isn’t home and has been “missing” for four and half minutes.

 

Avery doesn’t want to make stupid videos in Austin’s poorly lit apartment!  She’s supposed to meet her boyfriend!!  Dylan can’t go four and a half minutes without her, Austin!  He deadbolt locks the door.  She’s like what the hell??  He wants to make a little video that won’t take long.  Fuh-reaky! “Justice is swift,”  he says.  “Justice?”  He has to connect the dots for her a bit, which is really frustrating for a villain, until she realizes HE is 4MJ.  He says now everyone else is gonna know who she is, and what she did.  He flips on a super bright light in her eyes and loudly announces, “The Confessions of Avery Bailey Clark.  Take ONE.”   Oh noes!

 

Lauren stops by the police station looking for Michael who apparently doesn’t have an office.  Kevin says this finding a ruse to check on him is getting old, but I don’t think he really minds.  She asks how he’s doing, and he says, “Lousy.”  He sent Chloe flowers but she refused delivery.  Lauren thinks Kevin needs to [get a clue] give Chloe time.  He says he doesn’t want them hovering and giving him lame advice.  Wait, yes he does.  She says, okay, if he needs anything, he can call THEM.  Lauren runs into Cricket on the way out.  “I was checking up on Kevin,” Lauren whispers.  She invites Cricket for coffee, but Cricket wants to talk to Paul real quick.  Except he isn’t there.

 

Paul makes another house call so Dylan can explain his anxiety disorder and how suspicious it is that Avery isn’t home and nothing is set up.  Paul says it all looks normal to him, but Austin LEFT HIS PHONE! This must mean something horrifying has happened.

 

Avery argues with Austin.  Her phone rings but he grabs it.  “Can’t we do just ONE SHOOT without someone interrupting??”  LOL  She gets really upset because “That was probably DYLAN!  He’s EXPECTING me!!”  Austin’s like boo fucking hoo.  “THE CONFESSIONS OF AVERY BAILEY CLARK.  Take two!”  She demands to be let out, but he says she’s not going anywhere until she confesses.  For what, she asks?  “FOR KILLING MY MOM!!!”

 

Nick still makes the best milkshakes around.  He starts to say Superdad to the rescue, but tapers off in like the saddest way possible.  He changes the subject to Austin.  If he hurts Summer, he’ll have to answer to Nick. Duh.  Noah and Courtney show up.   Is the club open?  No one is there.  Nick and Noah both go to make Courtney a club soda with lemon.  BORING!  Courtney chats with Summer about Austin so she can repeat the same lines a third time.  This show really is like Dora the Explorer, except less interesting.

 

Nick banters with Noah about getting him to come back to work.  Nick really needs him there to help “keep an eye on things.”  Things?  Things like Mariah who’s just walked in with Sharon.  Summer and Noah are shocked!  “What the hell is SHE doing here?” cries Noah.  Sharon tries to introduce Mariah, but Noah’s not interested in meeting the chick who pretended to be his dead sister.  He lets her have it.  Summer’s like, yeah!  Nick drops the bomb that Mariah’s his newest employee.

 

Dylan shows up at the police station with Paul.  Blahblah the judge won’t issue the warrant.  Dylan asks if the judge knows what’s happening??  I mean, my girlfriend has been missing for EIGHT minutes.  DO SOMETHING.  Kevin entertains this like it’s a real thing.  Paul strongly hints that Kevin should do that thing he does that we don’t talk about.  Dylan tells Kevin to HURRY. 

 

Austin confronts Avery about how she killed his mom. She was the greatest mom in the world, and then someone murdered her.  Mary Jamison.  Avery’s like…who?  Okay, how about Boss Foreman.  Boss Foreman?  Is this a joke?  Is that like Brick Mason?  Avery remembers him, because BOZ Foreman (oh, okay, it’s Boz) was accused of killing a convenience store clerk in a robbery, but he DIDN’T DO IT.  Avery only reps innocent people, you guys.  Boz Foreman wasn’t even there that night.  Sure.  He wasn’t  a nice guy, but he wasn’t a killer.  Austin’s like oh, yeah?  Because guess where he is now? In prison!  Because two years later he ROBBED A CONVENIENCE STORE, and shot an innocent bystander.  Mary Jamison.  She set a murderer free, and two years later, he killed Austin’s mother!  He says now it’s time to set things straight.

 

Avery figures out that Austin got this cameraman assignment just to get close to her.  She asks him if this is about revenge.  He says he just wants her to THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID.  She never gave Boz Foreman a second thought and didn’t even know he’d murdered someone else.  She keeps saying she’s sorry about his mom, but he gets angrier and says she is going to make a video confession admitting if it wasn’t for her, his mother would still be alive.  This is the world’s worst revenge plan.  Avery says she can’t  and won’t do that.  Omg, she’s stupid.  Just do it, with your fingers crossed.  She won’t though, because she’s not responsible.  He says he’s going to make sure she is sent to prison.  She’s like what are you talking about?

 

Paul’s calling in officers to stake out Avery’s place.  This is an emergency.  What if they can’t stop Austin from videotaping her?  Dylan’s calling all manner of people.  It’s a frenzy.  Meanwhile, Cricket sits ALONE in the coffee shop, probably not getting served any coffee, either, and thinks about her talk with Paul about having a baby.  Lauren joins her, and Cricket says she isn’t pregnant this month.  So she’s going to take yoga.  Blah blah.  Avery’s facing trauma by video tape right now, people!  They talk about Paul and Ricky.  Lauren says please tell me you’re not trying to rewrite history by having a baby.  Cricket looks exceedingly guilty of thinking this.

 

Noah is furious that Nick offered Mariah a job.  Well, SOMEBODY has to work there.  Sharon and Nick try to act like this is some kind of great idea to help her out.  Noah’s like “What the hell’s the matter with you?”  Summer’s like what about Faith?  Sharon says give this poor girl a break.  Mariah turns and studies Sharon like she’s really trying to figure out how stupid she is.  Then she hides behind Sharon while Noah goes off some more about sick and cruel she is.  Sharon says Mariah is sorry.  Well, he hasn’t heard HER say it.  Mariah says, “I really am.”  Noah goes, “Oh.  That was beautiful.”  This goes on and on.  Noah’s done with this shit.  Courtney wisely stays out of it, Noah loves her, she leaves.  Summer gives Nick, Sharon, and Mariah a dirty look and also leaves.  At least she can go be an Abbott when she feels like it.

 

Lauren and Cricket talk about whether a baby would really make her happy.  Lauren wants her to be sure.  Blah blah.  There is no reason, basically, for her to suddenly want a baby.  But she just hopes it’s not too late.

 

Dylan badgers Paul to do something more.  Hey, you could get a ping off her cell phone?  No?  They have officers running around randomly looking for her instead.  Kevin is fast, he’s got 4MJ’s IP address.  He can find him now.  But can they get there in time?  Before he makes a video of her that will get her prosecuted for gross negligence?  This is sooo scary.

 

Avery’s sorry…that Austin’s in pain.  They argue the same old crap about defense attornies.  He’s getting more and more worked up, and now he’s going to make her pay.  By filming her.

 

So Noah stayed, and asks Nick if Mariah is the thing he’s supposed to be keeping an eye on. He gives in.  Sharon thinks it’s great because Noah and Mariah can get to know each other.  This is dumb.  Mariah doesn’t look very thrilled about working there.

 

Blah blah Cricket is bummed that when Paul gets involved in a case, he’s not around.  Which is awesome when you have a baby.

 

Courtney’s come to work and is now involved in the Search For Avery who’s been missing for maybe 20 minutes now.  Kevin magically has found Austin’s cell phone number.  He says it’s unlisted and Paul says call it.  What?  He says they can find out which cell tower it’s pinging off of, using telepathy.  HEY, WHY NOT CALL AVERY’S PHONE?  Kevin calls the number he just said is unlisted, and lo and behold, it starts ringing in Dylan’s pocket.  He pulls it out…and has no reaction whatsoever.  (Hang on while I get my eyes unrolled from the back of my head.)

 

Okay, instead of keeping an eye on Mariah, Noah’s followed Summer to the coffee house so she can talk about how this Mariah thing sucks.  “I’ve got too much going on in my own life for this kind of weirdness.”  Me too, Summer.  Austin’s amazing, and Aunt Avery’s being really annoying about it because she doesn’t know him like Summer does.

 

Avery is trying to talk Austin down, instead of just making the damn video.  It would take five minutes, tops.  Boom, you’re done.  She can’t confess to something she didn’t do.  Well, this is about destroying her life the way she destroyed his.  He’s going to post the video ON THE INTERNET and her career will be over!!!!  NO, Austin, NO!  His mother wouldn’t want this!!  Really?  Summer wouldn’t want it!  She tries to get past him, but he says she’s not going anywhere.

 

The stupid.  It burns.

Edited June 9, 2014 by peach

[LeftPhalange]

Austin could have just shot Avery and been done with it. I'm tired of people wasting time giving unnecessary speeches explaining their motives. Shoot first, explain later.

Edited June 10, 2014 by LeftPhalange

[Snaporaz]

 

Mariah doesn’t look very thrilled about working there.

She knows the tips are going to suck.  When the place isn't empty, it's filled with Nick's family, who are getting their drinks comped.  And any server will tell you that rich people are shitty tippers.

Edited June 10, 2014 by Snaporaz

[Joimiaroxeu]

Nick still makes the best milkshakes around.

♫ Nick's milkshakes bring all the girls to the bar...♫

 

Noah and Mariah can get to know each other

So, any guesses on how soon Noah will end up in bed with someone who looks 99.9% like his dead sister? Bonus points if Sharon catches them in flagrante. What's left of her mind would shatter into a million pieces.

[peacheslatour]

OMG peach, I literally had tears streaming down my cheeks!  How you can take this stupid lame ass show and turn it into comedy gold, I do not know but you are a fucking genius! 

 

/What's your Fark handle?

[peach]

OMG peach, I literally had tears streaming down my cheeks!  How you can take this stupid lame ass show and turn it into comedy gold, I do not know but you are a fucking genius! 

 

/What's your Fark handle?

 

I was just half laughing in disbelief the whole episode.  Between the fantasy police work, and the utterly NONthreatening stalker demands, it was just ridiculous!

 

What's a Fark handle??

[peacheslatour]

 

What's a Fark handle??

Check out the Fark.com. comments threads, you would fit right in- in fact you'd be a star.

[marshmallow]

 

SHARON says, “Playing tricks on someone is no way to win their love.”  IRONY!

 

I think the real irony there is that Mariah has apparently won Sharon's undying love by doing just that.

 

 

Nick and Noah both go to make Courtney a club soda with lemon.  BORING!  Courtney chats with Summer about Austin so she can repeat the same lines a third time.

 

I was wondering why the hell Noah's girlfriend would care at all about Summer's love life.  They have turned Courtney around so much that I completely forgot that Summer and Courtney were supposed to be BFF.

[photo fox]

I was wondering why the hell Noah's girlfriend would care at all about Summer's love life.  They have turned Courtney around so much that I completely forgot that Summer and Courtney were supposed to be BFF.

I had too until reading this! I was thinking, "well, I guess she would know Summer because of dating her not!brother." lol

They totally played the scene awkward to me, like Courtney was pretending to care to ingratiate herself with her boyfriend's sister, and Summer acted like, "they left us here alone, so I guess to be polite I'll answer your questions."

NOT like BFFs dishing on a new boyfriend AT ALL. Maybe we're supposed to forget that ever happened?

[peach]

Tue, June 10, 2014  The Keystone Kops

 

Dylan’s in shock that Austin is 4MJ.  “And I gave him complete access to her.”  Wait, what?  You control access to Avery?  Maybe you’re a bigger problem than Austin.  Kevin’s like what’s his motive?  Dylan doesn’t know anything about him, except that he’s got Avery.

 

Austin has a gun.  “Is that really necessary,” asks Avery.  Oh, she MADE it necessary when she wouldn’t do what she was told.  She’s going to make that meaningless video now, taking responsibility for his mom’s death.  “And if I don’t?”  So Avery’s willing to get SHOT rather than make a video under duress.  Anything that happens after this is on her, people.

 

Chelsea and Billy have coffee.  He thanks her meeting him again.  This has been a really long day in GC.  Billy tries to sell Chelsea on Australia.  She wants to mind her own business now.  Right.  Billy…Billy makes a Top Gun analogy and compares them to Goose and Maverick.  Of course, Billy thinks he’s Maverick.  She’s like, doesn’t Goose die?  Who cares?  She’s his wingman now!  Like, it's every woman's dream to pretend she's GOOSE.  What in the hell is in that coffee?

 

Stitch sits alone on the sharing bench in the park, sadly eating a hot dog and presumably thinking about Victoria.  Kelly walks by and asks if he told Vicky the truth.  He didn’t, in order to protect her.   Kelly unbearably goes off on Stitch and sneers about how tough Victoria is, and that she isn’t some delicate little flower, and that she’s tough enough to handle ANYTHING.  Since when is KELLY such an expert on Victoria?  Stitch says well maybe the baby she’s carrying ISN’T.  Kelly’s like, whaaa..?

 

Summer and Jack are at dinner talking about Austin.

 

Avery doesn’t believe Austin will shoot her.  Austin thinks Avery’s a terrible judge of innocence.

 

Billy’s figured Chelsea’s schedule out, so it’s off to Oz.  She asks what’s in it for her?  “Actually, a lot," says Billy.  Chelsea squints.

 

Stitch confesses to Kelly that he might be the baby’s dad.  Does Billy know?  Yes. Okay, she gets why he doesn’t want to lay the truth on Victoria NOW, like it’s up for Kelly's approval or something.  But if the baby is Stitch’s, he’s gonna have to come clean to Victoria and EVERYONE.  Really?  Stitch should kill her and bury her in the garden.

 

Jack and Summer talk about her trying to keep Austin from leaving town.  She doesn’t even know where he’s from.   They just talk about movies and moms and losing her virginity.  They talk about how Phyllis is the best.  Summer says Phyllis would storm over to Austin’s and get right in his face.  And spit and scream.  “NOBODY keeps MY kid in the dark,”  mimics Jack.  Summer says Phyllis would tell her to follow her own instincts.  Too bad Summer’s instincts suck.

 

Dylan can’t believe he wasn’t smart enough to know dimpled Austin was a psycho.  Okay, NOW they’re trying to get a ping off Avery’s phone.  Courtney says the show producers don’t know anything about where Austin lives.  It’s pretty clear Kevin works for the NSA.  He has Austin’s address and also knows that he bought a gun in April.  Dylan freaks out.  Paul tells Det. Greg Brady Harding what units to send.

 

Avery says Austin is facing serious charges.  Is this what your mother would want, for you to throw away your whole life?  This isn’t the way to honor your mother.  Don’t turn one tragedy into two.

 

Chelsea does NOT want to go to Australia.  Billy says her life is boring and lonely.  “People like us need excitement and adventure.”  She says she is extremely happy and satisfied with life.  He says she’s so good at conning, she’s conning herself.

 

Stitch says the baby is the first priority.  Kelly Buttinski Andrews MOCKS this.  “That’s so absurd.”  And she won’t lie to Jack, not even to save some unborn baby that only exists because of HER.  This is not like the last time she ratted Stitch out, she says.  She told Jenna about Stitch because she was so hurt and angry about Sam, and she looked for a convenient target, so she lashed out at the person who took away another person she loved so much.  Well, as long as Kelly felt better, I guess it's okay to tear apart someone else's family.  This time must just be about being a straight up bitch.

 

Since Kevin blurted out the address, Dylan runs out the door.  They can’t catch him AT A POLICE STATION.

 

Dylan has super powers!  He’s fucking FLASH!  He climbs in Austin’s window like THREE SECONDS later.  Avery really sucks at her own hostage negotiation while she tries to reason with a psycho with a gun about the philosophy of the legal system.

 

Billy tries to convince Chelsea that she needs this.  It puts the spark in her eye again.  She astutely recognizes that this is all about making BILLY happy, like every single other thing ever.  Doesn’t Chelsea get it?  Billy wants HER to be happy, too.  As long as he’s happy first.

 

Kelly arrives for dinner with Jack.  Summer decides to follow her instincts, and she leaves.  Oh, now that’s a bad thing.  Jack really worries about her actually following her instincts like her mother did.

 

Avery promises Austin she will make things right.  “What are you gonna do, bake me a pie?”  Ha!  She’ll keep Boz Foreman from getting parole.  Well, THAT’S not good enough.  Okay, okay, NOW she’s going to confess,  but he’s so very tired of her bullshit now.  It would be so much easier to just shoot her instead.  Dylan jumps him!  They wrestle for the gun.  Avery is useless.  In the worst police procedure ever, a traffic cop, a homicide detective, and the CHIEF OF POLICE burst in the door together, and the gun goes off.

 

Paul is shot!  Officer Down!  Everyone stands around like an IDIOT, so Austin gets up and runs.  Courtney is super surprised that the shooter is trying to get away. Det. Harding says to go get him!  She follows and  tries to shoot him.  Then she just stands there.

 

Jack is starving.  Kelly is super distracted.   Oh, she heard about Victoria’s pregnancy in the park.  Jack’s like…what?  For once in his life his brother kept his mouth shut?  He must be ecstatic.  Kelly says more like conflicted, because, um, it might not be his kid.  Jack says, wait, she heard this in the park?  Oh, she just ran into Ben Rayburn and, you know, they just started talking about it.  Jack can’t believe Kelly knew first.

 

Chelsea will admit maybe things have been kind of boring and claustrophobic.  It’s not like they’ve had anything to do besides track Chloe down and have her committed to a mental hospital, and throw super successful fashion shows while planning a memorial for her dead husband.  Blah blah, she’s sorry Adam never took responsibility for what he did.  Except for when he did, with a real video confession, and also right before Billy KILLED HIM.  Billy forgives Chelsea for loving Adam.  She’s still so confused about it.  Her life is so hard with his hit-and-run shadow following her rich widow’s ass all over the place.  Billy says there aren’t any shadows in Australia.

 

Paul’s bleeding a lot.  Battlefield veteran Dylan tries to stop it by laying a couch pillow on top of it.

 

Jack tells Kelly that’s kind of a personal conversation to have in the damn park.  She would like to forget bringing this up.  Luckily, guys are always okay with that.  Let’s eat and talk about ourselves!  She moved in her new place, but it’s so unnerving to sleep in a place all alone, hint hint.  He’ll fix that.

 

Summer shows up at Avery’s and is yelling out for Avery and Austin, and Courtney hops around the corner with a gun drawn!  Freeze, Police!  She’s securing the scene!  She tells Summer the Awful Truth about Austin.  Summer can’t believe it.  Courtney tells her it’s not safe to be there in case Austin comes back.

 

At the hospital, Harding blames Maniac McAvoy for this whole fiasco, and rightly so.  Dylan and Avery are a menace.  He tells Kevin they had to chase Dylan before they were prepared, and Idiot One and Idiot Two put a hole in Paul.  Also, the GCPD could invest in more radios.  Kevin's upset because Paul is the greatest guy ever.

 

Stitch is going to save Paul’s life in surgery, duh.  Dylan tells Avery some kind of crap about hearing her sighs in his sleep.  Avery’s his home.  They’re both weepy dumbasses.

 

Chelsea and Billy blah blah let’s go to Australia for good karma or something.  He can’t lose Victoria to Stitch.  Billy wins, Chelsea will go.

 

Jack and Kelly christen her new bedroom.

 

Austin’s hiding in the park.  He calls Summer on his burner phone.  He needs to see her, because she doesn’t know the whole story.  She's mad but then he says he needs her help.  She frowny pouts, but softens.

 

Kevin’s calling people trying to find Cricket.  Courtney is like the only police officer in town.  She shows up at the hospital to announce that Austin got away, but she thinks she clipped his shoulder. Stitch comes out tells everyone that the bullet damaged Paul’s liver. Harding screams at Dylan for being an idiot.  HE’S responsible for this!!

 

They all follow Paul down the hallway when he gets out of surgery and stare at him like this is Twilight.

Edited June 11, 2014 by peach

[Joimiaroxeu]

Well, as long as Kelly felt better, I guess it's okay to tear apart someone else's family.  This time must just be about being a straight up bitch.

Kelly and Chelsea should get together and form a meddling and shite-stirring squad. Right now they're the two biggest yentas in GC.

 

Jack says, wait, she heard this in the park?  Oh, she just ran into Ben Rayburn and, you know, they just started talking about it.  Jack can’t believe Kelly knew first.

That conversation was so odd. Jack does know that Victoria slept with Stitch, doesn't he? Maybe he was just trying to avoid being a judgmental gossip (unlike his date) but I was surprised the WTD situation didn't come up.

[LeftPhalange]

Kelly and Stitch need to be buried alive.

[peach]

About sixty excellent quotes from Peach that haven't been quoted or quoted enough:

 

Some use irony, some are like little cartoon balloons where the character think what we are thinking.  There are some sophisticated literary techniques being used here.  Sorry about the spacing,  It just keep going back to no spacing between.

Wow.  I'm overwhelmed.  To be fair, two of those were actual lines by characters, like when Billy said he was awful and selfish.  lol

 

Thank you for the fine compliment.  Sometimes I wonder what I am doing using any literary techniques at all on this godforsaken show.   But then I realize I can't NOT make fun of it.  I really do wonder how long this show can survive in this dwindling era of soapdom, so I guess I'll keep riding it out. 

[peach]

Wed, June 11, 2014  Supergirl, Come Home!

 

Pillow talk with Jack and Kelly.  She says they’ve christened her new bedroom.  Maybe Kelly reads this.  I love her sheets.  Jack gets a call from Det. Harding.  They’re looking for Summer.

 

Summer finds Austin in the park.  She’s not sure she should have come after what he did.  “How could you, Austin?”

 

Dylan watches unconscious Paul at the hospital.  Harding shoots him dirty looks.  Lauren meets up with Michael in the waiting room.  She’s finally reached Cricket, who’s in Nashville on business and trying to get home.  Michael says things look pretty bad.  Dylan whines about how he doesn’t know why poor Avery had to make a statement to the police tonight after everything she’s been through.  I don’t know, Dylan, maybe so they can CATCH the bad guy?  Harding comes over and yells about how it’s all Dylan’s fault because “Captain Wow” had to be the big hero and rush in after Paul told him not to.  I guess Dylan also refused to let Paul wear a Kevlar vest.  Michael intervenes, and they are interrupted by loud beeping from Paul’s monitors.

 

Neil and Hilary are at The Underground.  She tells him he doesn’t have to take her to young, hip places just because she's so much younger and hipper than he is.  Sharon thinks Mariah is doing a great job waitressing, but Nick is hovering a bit.  Mariah says Nick doesn’t trust her.  Duh.

 

Nikki’s at the ranch playing with Johnny.  Victor walks in.  She thought he was away on business.  Victor says she’s where she belongs.  He tells Johnny stories, blah blah.  They reminisce about Victoria and Nikki stares at a family photo.  Victor tries to charm/pressure her to come home so it can be like it was in the photo, ignoring the fact that Nick despises him.

 

Sharon asks Nick why he doesn’t trust Mariah.  Nick’s like, hmm, maybe because she just got out of jail for…stealing? From someone she knows!  Sharon’s like did you just hire her for me?  Wasn’t that absolutely clear before now, Sharon?

 

Hilary tries to explain that she’s not dating a sugar daddy so she can hang out at cheap dives like The Underground.  But Neil’s not dating a sugar baby so he can feel old and boring.  She thinks the age difference is a bigger deal to him than he’s saying.  Wait, now THIS is an issue?  Isn’t having his entire family want to kill you with fire enough?

 

Austin begs Summer to let him explain while she yells at him for what he did, and how Jack was right, that he is just a stranger to her.  NO.  She does know him.  She gets out her phone like she’s going to call the police, but he stops her.  “I NEED you.”  Summer is [stupid] conflicted.

 

Jack has to find Summer.  Kelly has to go with him.

 

Paul’s beeping was his blood pressure monitor.  Dylan doesn’t understand why Michael is the point man on all Paul’s medical information.  He explains that he’s Paul’s brother and next of kin until Cricket shows up.  Honestly, I can’t remember if I knew that or not.  He says he has to call Paul’s “real brothers,” that guy from L.A. Law, Father Todd, and Steve.  He informed the mental hospital where Patti lives.  Harding bitches at Dylan some more and leaves.  Dylan says Harding is right, he IS responsible.

 

Jack and Kelly confer at Crimson Lights.  No one has seen Summer.  Jack is bummed out because he doesn’t know her well enough to know all her friends and such.  Kelly tries to console him that a lot of parents don’t know what their teen daughters are doing.  He’s super worried about her being with Austin.  Jack makes it all about him and his responsibilities.  He decides to go see the person who knows Summer a lot better than Jack does.

 

Nick is training Mariah.  She tries to make nice with him.  He hopes she’s sincere, because Sharon’s been hurt enough.  He walks away and Mariah looks pissed that he didn’t just kiss her ass because she apologized.

 

Neil and Hilary have a thrilling conversation about does the age difference matter to you?  Well, maybe it matters to you?  Thank God, they’re interrupted by Neil getting a phone call from Rick Forrester.  Sharon stops by to chat up Hilary and finds out she’s on a DATE with Neil.  Hilary explains how well it isn’t going with the fam.  Sharon’s like, oh, I know all about being the unpopular one.  Blah blah, Lily’s a bitch.  Sharon says it doesn’t matter what other people think.   Neil eavesdrops.

 

Hilary tells Sharon she’s never been in a “grown up” relationship before.  O-kay.  She gushes about how this is what it must be like.  And it’s all so…stable!  Sharon talks about how amazing it is when you love someone so much your heart aches.  Hilary’s like, um, yeah.  Doubt flickers in her eyes, but Neil doesn’t see it.  He blusters up and joins them at the table.

 

Jack and Kelly get to The Underground and tell Nick they can’t find Summer, and maybe he can help.  It has to do with Austin.  Nick freaks out and asks if he hurt Summer.

 

Austin tells Summer he didn’t want to hurt anyone.  “You had a GUN, Austin!”  Well, that was just to get Avery to confess.  He gives her the mini recap about Boz Foreman killing his mother.  TWANG!  Love arrow to Summer’s heart.  He breaks down about all the hurt he has, that he wanted to go away.  She realizes this is the job he had to finish.  He couldn’t stand to walk away from her like he did, but he couldn’t expect her to understand.  Wounded cute guy with a broken heart and dead mom?  Oh, she understands, more than he thinks.

 

Nikki’s playing classical music on the piano at the ranch while Victor creeps up and watches.  She so loves the sheet music he got her for Christmas.  He got it because he loves to hear her play.  He sits with her while she plays more, and it’s probably Vivaldi, but I’m too much of a Philistine to know.  They get all mushy.  She says, “You are the most unpredictable…and I spit out my Diet Coke and didn’t hear the rest… And they kiss.  Forget tormenting our son, you got me SHEET MUSIC FOR CHRISTMAS.  They decide to “go upstairs.”  But Dylan stops by and ruins everything by telling Nikki that Paul’s been shot.  Oh, my!

 

Dylan gives them the lowdown on Paul’s condition.  Even Victor is concerned.  He offers to take care of Johnny so Nikki can rush to the hospital.  She leaves, and Dylan tells Victor about Avery’s kidnapping. 

 

Summer understands everything so much better now.  He’s sorry he involved her.  He feeds her some 18yo girl catnip and says he told her things he’s never told anyone, and she really cares.  She says, “You can’t just hold people at gunpoint because life’s unfair.”  In GENOA CITY?  Sure you can.  You can even kill those people.  But she understands why he did it.  And I guess that’s all that matters.

 

Mariah tries to understand what the hell the deal is with Summer, Nick, and Jack.  Sharon explains how Nick is a tricky, lying liar just like Mariah.  And the mother?  Oh, that’s Phyllis.  Yeah, the one in the coma who knows Sharon’s secret.  Mariah just almost can’t take in this crazy rich people shit.  Nick says he’s called all of Summer’s friends and no one has seen her.  He’s sure she’s with Austin.  Nick definitely knows Summer better than Jack does.  He says she’ll believe every word this guy says to her.

 

Nikki arrives at the hospital.  She’s in tears and has to be held up.  A doctor who isn’t Stitch comes out.  Michael says “we’re all relatives,” which you could say in any gathering in GC, so the doctor can talk freely.  It’s bad.  Nikki wants to go in.  The doc frowns, and Lauren says Paul is unconscious. But this is NIKKI!  “He’ll know I’m there.”  Good Lord, someone sedate her.  So they let his nonwife in to weep over him and spread her germs around.  He’s gotta come through this, because she needs him.  She needs him so much.  She holds his hand, right when poor MRS. WILLIAMS comes rushing in.  She looks devastated.

 

Neil mentions that tomorrow is the most confusing day of the year in GC…Father’s Day.  He’s going to be getting Moses.  Screw those other two kids.  Hilary says she’ll make herself scarce.  Of course he doesn’t want that.  Hilary doesn’t want to confuse his son.  Neil, as always, thinks that’s ridiculous.  He would LOVE for her to be part of the celebration with him and HIS SON.  Hilary thinks that Devon and Lily would like to be part of Father’s Day with their father, so she shouldn’t be there.  Neil makes a disgusting , arrogant speech, and I guess the upshot is that the father's hottie girlfriend is more important to the father than the father’s children on father’s day.

 

Jack and Nick argue about what to do about Summer.  Kelly thinks she knows best.

 

Victor says it was nice of Dylan to deliver the news to Nikki in person.  He says it was hard for him to wrap his head around Dylan being Nikki’s son, but he’s been good TO her and good FOR her.  He thanks him, and Dylan rushes off to find Avery.

 

Nikki says everyone loves Paul so much while she cradles his hand against her face.  Cricket comes in, and Nikki tells her Paul is strong before she leaves.  Now Cricket holds his hand and weeps.  Is it shallow of me to notice her shirt is ugly right now? The doctor comes in and says the news isn’t good.

 

Austin says he has to run away now, and just asks for a head start.  He never thought his plan all the way through, and doesn’t really have a getaway plan.  They hear sirens, and Austin says he has to go.  Summer says, wait, please, but he can’t.  He kisses her, and then stumbles to his feet.  Summer realizes that he’s bleeding!

 

Kelly doesn’t think Austin has abducted Summer, based on seeing them in the park the other day.  Nick thinks that’s weak evidence.  He wants to look for them in the park.  Jack thinks Summer might answer if Nick calls. 

 

Summer tells Austin he needs help.  Nick calls and leaves her a nonthreatening voicemail telling her she can talk to him about anything, and he won’t judge her.   Summer tells Austin she will take care of him and helps him limp out of the park.  Nick’s still talking… “Please, Supergirl, come home.  Show us you’re safe.”  He hangs up.  Jack shakes his head, like how is he supposed to compete with that?

 

Everyone is weeping in the hospital waiting room.  Lauren says they wanted a baby, and Nikki thinks that will give him more incentive for pulling through.  Cricket cries and cries at Paul’s side.  :-(

[Snaporaz]

 

Even Victor is concerned.  He offers to take care of Johnny so Nikki can rush to the hospital.

Johnny has a scintillating evening of chess lessons in store for him tonight.

Edited June 12, 2014 by Snaporaz

[Blueeyes]

 

How you can take this stupid lame ass show and turn it into comedy gold, I do not know but you are a fucking genius!

 

I agree wholeheartedly!!!  I love reading Peach's recaps......well done!!!

[Joimiaroxeu]

Kelly thinks she knows best.

Of course she does. Judge Kelly--like Judge Judy--knows everything. Bet her poops are odorless too.

 

Summer tells Austin she will take care of him and helps him limp out of the park.

So, where is she going to take him to hide out, the stables on the Newman ranch, the Abbott estate's pool house, or Phyllis' penthouse? Enquiring minds want to know!

 

Jack shakes his head, like how is he supposed to compete with that?

 

Sigh, it's ever so helpful for fatherhood to be reduced to a contest. Especially since Nick is ahead in points only because he cheated for the first 18 rounds.

[treestar13]

 

Colin meets some shifty guy named Malone in the park.  He’s mad that Malone stole the necklace before Colin was ready.

 

I don't even watch and I am f-ing pissed off at how they keep making Colin an idiot!  I love Jill, and I hate that they are making Colin steal from her.  Can't the writers think of something else instead of the never-ending Colin fucks over Jill, Jill gets back at him, they have sex, Jill forgives, Colin fucks Jill over and on and on.  These two could have great storylines (like anything that fucks over Cane),  - they could use their wiles to screw over Victurd, create a business, steal a business like Devon's.  I would love to see those two own GCAC and interact with everyone.  It seems their whole relationship has been a broken record.

[bayviewbubba]

I'd love to see Jill and Colin run the GCAC. They could become the new Gloria and Jeff(?) since it's apparent that Glo is not going to be around. Oh, they could stir up all kinds of trouble, helped of course, by my dear Ian. What a center of operations that place could become!

[marshmallow]

 

Jack is bummed out because he doesn’t know her well enough to know all her friends and such.

 

As I was watching this, I was annoyed with Jack.  He's known for a year now.  Surely that's enough time to get to know her friends' names.  What did they talk about on all those plane rides back and forth to visit ComaPhyllis?

 

 

He feeds her some 18yo girl catnip and says he told her things he’s never told anyone, and she really cares.

 

LMAO!  18yo girl catnip is so funny and so true!  Peach, you are awesome!

[pearlite]

I'd love to see Jill and Colin run the GCAC. They could become the new Gloria and Jeff(?) since it's apparent that Glo is not going to be around. Oh, they could stir up all kinds of trouble, helped of course, by my dear Ian. What a center of operations that place could become!

Yes, couldn't Jill just find the long-lost deed to ownership of the club? Somewhere in Katherine's attic?

 

Why should Jill just hang around the CMansion, angsting and arguing over air with Colin? What a waste of both actors!

 

Yes--put them into a storyline with Ian Ward! Please!

[peacheslatour]

Is peach out of town again?  Where is my re-cap?  I need MY RE-CAP!!!!

[treestar13]

 

I’m sure Victor will still have that person fed to sharks with laser beams on their heads.

 

Love it!  And as Dr. Evul describes it,"an easily escapeable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death" - which pretty much describes all of the stupid plots involving bad guys on Y&R.  Remember the bomb at some Newman celebration that Billy Boy dismantled?  Really?  Why not just shoot someone like Dr. Evul's son suggested?  

 

Peaches, love your recaps.  I could probably miss 50 of them and still be able to know what's going on.  Thank you for your sacrifice!

[peach]

Is peach out of town again?  Where is my re-cap?  I need MY RE-CAP!!!!

 

Hey there!  Lots of family obligations!!  And I also kind of needed a break for a couple days, or else the next one was just going to say, "This is stupid."  Will hopefully post something tonight or in the morning.