Explain it to Me Like I'm Lily: Recaps for the Disenchanted

[Joimiaroxeu]

Gloria’s hair looks like she was planning on wearing a wig and then forgot.

It sure did and this wasn't the first time. Odd for an actress who's usually so fastidious about her appearance.

 

Nikki and Jack have a boring conversation about everyone’s voids.  He says he’s only a phone call away. 

On his way out Jack thanked Nikki for the iced tea. The beverage looked more like lemonade. Did I miss some inside joke there?

 

Stalker Stitch sits down and starts playing blocks with Johnny because he’s an unbelievable interloper.

IKR? The guy just pushes right in like he owns the place. I see a trespassing arrest in Stitch's future.

 

Chloe examines the aphrodisiac in a little green bottle with a stopper like this is the 1800’s. 

Wonder if it was absinthe.

 

Chloe fake accidentally spills champagne all over Gloria, INFURIATING her, and she runs off to the ladies room, without her purse.  This would never happen in one million billion years, writers.

Yep. It totally took me out of the moment because at that point all I could do was worry about her credit cards, her drivers license, her cell phone, her keys...

[Runningwild]

Dang, Stitch! Just because you're a doctor, doesn't mean you get to read everyone's files! Really starting to dislike him.

[peacheslatour]

 

Ugh, I’m Team Billy after today.  I hate being Team Billy.

IKR?  I never thought I'd see the day, but damn Dr Rayburn is the worst!

[marshmallow]

 

Avery thinks internet comments like “your pie ruined my life” are harmless,  but Dylan needs a reason to exist, so he explains how he polices the message board to keep Avery safe.

Boy, Nick and Dylan really are brothers, with their caveman desire to protect their woman.

[peacheslatour]

I t looked to me like Lily was wearing GCRB today.  Were those cut-outs or contrasting fabric patches on there?  Maybe it was a new designer original by The House of Chloe's Scissors.

[Snaporaz]

Jill was wearing it, too!  The shirt Esther bought her would have looked good with GCRB.

I'm not sure if Cane's shirt was also the same color, but if not, it was close.

[peach]

Wed, May 14
Victor is helping Chelsea with her bracelet as they prepare for Adam’s memorial.  Pretty cozy.  Anita shows up to babysit Connor, and Victor says he doesn’t like her doing that, since she allowed him to be kidnapped (by Chelsea’s best friend).  Chelsea flaps her gums a bit.  Isn’t THIS what Adam and the rest of Genoa City have been warning you about, Chelsea?  Victor’s already trying to squeeze out Connor’s own grandma.  You could be next!!

 

Chloe shows up at Billy’s door, since he’s baching it while Victoria’s gone.  Billy had told Chloe he owed her for that [near date rape] ride home…so she’s there to collect.  Billy squints and half laughs, like, who knows what Chloe is up to?

 

Cane worries about Colin because he hasn’t been returning Cane’s calls for a few days.  Lily actually defends Colin’s behavior as of late.  Cane decides that if something was wrong, Jill would have let them know.  What Jill has not let them know, is that Colin is still chained in her attic next to divorce documents.  Bitch ain’t playin’.  He’s banging on the pipes with a tennis racket.  Lauren has stopped by the mansion, and Jill wants to go party, but Lauren is there to talk to Esther.  “On purpose?” Jill asks.  Ha. Well, it’s about Chloe.  Esther is off playing blackjack indefinitely, so Lauren’s out of luck.  She wonders about the banging noises.  Jill says it’s an old creaky house, or it’s likely Katherine’s ghost haunting the place.  Lauren explains her worries that Chloe is going to do something else like when she kidnapped Connor. They discuss her therapy.

 

Billy asks what Chloe wants in return for getting him home. She just wants to hang out, because she’s tired of people treating her like a frail, delicate flower… “which you’re not”…and a wacko… “which you kind of are.”  But Billy means that with affection.  Chloe is tired of being the woman who freaks people out.  Seems like a good time to apologize for, you know, asking Billy for his sperm.  They have a good laugh about how freaky THAT was, and she promises that was a one time thing.  Cuz she ain’t ASKING this time, y’all.  She cries on Billy’s shoulder about how Delia’s daycamp sent her a renewal notice, and how awful that was.  He agrees. She says it got her thinking and Billy tells her, “Thinking’s the worst, and  I don’t recommend it.”  Billy’s motto!  Chloe wants Delia back, and Billy wants to REITERATE that they aren’t making Delia 2.0, and that she’s “not in the market for his..product.”  Chloe insists she doesn’t want to be anywhere near his market.  (Man, I’m going to miss her!)  She turns down a beer, and Billy offers to get coffee instead.  She pulls out her green absinthe aphrodisiac bottle.  This is a really dumb plan.

 

Anita defends herself to horrible Victor.  He’s not impressed.  He says the boy is not safe with Thiswoman.  Thiswoman says, yo, I’m standing right here.  Chelsea says she’s moving forward and isn’t  holding Anita’s “mistake” over her head.   Anita says she’ll guard Connor with her life, and Victor says see to it you do.  He glares disapprovingly.

 

Kelly runs into Jack at the club.  He’s getting ready to go to Adam’s memorial.  He blathers a bunch of stuff about how he cares about Kelly, and she’s like talk to the hand, because all she hears is “but my heart belongs to Phyllis.” He’s like, uh, okay, and leaves, and Kelly is so upset that she races up to Lily at the bar and says, “Do it!!”  Set her up on a date with another man, stat!  Lily’s like, uhhhh, okay, you have a date for dinner.  Wow, Lily works fast.  It’s totally going to be Neil, isn’t it?  Haha, it is.  Cane questions this idea.  She thinks it’s great.  Because it’s not skeezy to set up your friend and employee with your DAD.  Neil and Kelly meet with Lily (like 2 seconds later) and are discussing the next fashion show, and Lily says, enough work talk, let’s have social time.  Neil and Kelly are both like, omg.  No.

 

Esther returns from the casino and is full of tacky t-shirt gifts for Jill.  Lauren wants to talk to her about Chloe.  Jill has to go attend to her “pipe problem,” IOW tell Colin to knock it off and threaten him some more.

 

Chloe tells Billy how he could not have been a better father for Delia, and loved her so much, which isn’t revisionist history AT ALL.  It’s not like she hated him or blamed him for Delia’s death or anything.  They flatter each other and reminisce about their crazy wild times, and I guess this green stuff does its magic because they start making out.

 

Jill and Colin blah blah about him signing the papers.  He plays dumb about all his sneakiness.  He’s still trying to seduce her while chained to a pipe, and won’t give up on their love.  Well, Jill’s giving up on it.

 

Billy pulls away from Chloe and is like, whoa, whoa, what the hell?  He figures out she’s doing all this on purpose.  She says whatever eases the pain, and he’s like this is NOT the way to cope, you know that, right?  Billy’s already coped himself out of his marriage pulling stuff like this.

 

Some weirdo night workman shows up at Chelsea’s claiming he’s there to check ducts for mold or something, and Anita dutifully calls Chelsea to make sure it’s okay.  Chelsea says it is, because they got a note from the building manager.

 

Jack, Victor, and Chelsea are at the memorial service.  Chelsea says Sharon decided not to come.  What in the hell?  That means 50% of Adam’s friends aren’t coming.  Jack acts totally classless and asks if it has anything to do with why Nikki moved out, and snarks on Victor for referring to Adam, his son, as…HIS SON. Get a grip, Jack. Chelsea’s like if you guys act like this you can leave.

 

Billy wants to know what voodoo magic Chloe’s using on him.  He knows she gave him something, but she denies it.  He tries to get through to her that there is never going to be another Delia, that lightning won’t strike twice, and worst of all, she’s ruining Delia’s memory by acting this way.  Chloe breaks down and cries about needing her.  Billy shows an amazing amount of compassion trying to comfort her.

 

Now Lily wants Cane to check on Colin, so she can get rid of him, because she’s trying to get something going at this horrifyingly awkward dinner with Neil and Kelly.  Luckily she’s interrupted by a phone call.  Neil and Kelly laugh about the situation.  Kelly asks if he thinks Lily’s picked out her wedding dress yet.  Neil makes it clear he’s not ready for dating because he’s conducting a midlife crisis affair, and Kelly appreciates the honesty that all of GC’s men have for not wanting to date her.

 

Chelsea lights candles at Adam’s memorial.  She says Adam would be happy and grateful that both Victor and Jack were there.  Jack says only God knows what the deal was with Adam.  Only God knows.  He destroyed Jack’s family members, but he had remorse and was a genuine friend.  He can’t explain it…because this show doesn’t make sense.  Chelsea says Adam didn’t know how to let people love him, and he was broken, but they loved him anyway.  He died before he got to become a better person.  Jack brings up that this is the church where Adam made him swear to protect Connor…from the same things that changed ADAM into a horrible person.  This eulogy is going downhill fast.  He’s so overcome with anger for Victor that he leaves.  Victor’s not impressed because “he’s not Adam’s family.  You and I are.  Let him go.”  Chelsea agrees.

 

Cane tells Jill he wants to make sure Colin hasn’t stolen the silver and left town.  Jill says the silver’s accounted for, and Colin’s on a business trip.  He’s just an idiot about operating a cell phone and answering messages.  Cane wonders if he’s reverted to his old ways, and Jill says you just gotta hope for the best and plan for the worst, you know, for those times when you need chloroform.

 

Neil sticks his foot in his mouth telling Kelly if he had known this was some date set up he would have said ABSOLUTELY NOT.  Um, I mean, you’re lovely!  He stumbles all over himself explaining how he’s dating someone already, but Lily doesn’t know, but it’s not like it’s a secret, but it’s not like anyone knows about it, and you know what, never mind.  He thinks anyone else would be lucky to date her, though.  Kelly takes it in stride, and suggests  Neil should escape before Lily gets back.  He agrees, but passes Jack at the bar, and strongly hints that Kelly would be great for HIM to date.

 

Chelsea asks Victor if he loved Adam.  He asks if she thinks he did.  She says she does…but Adam didn’t think so, that Victor didn’t love him the same as Nick, Victoria, and Abby.  He says he loves all his children, K?  Chelsea says it’s not too late to tell him, and that this memorial was never just for her.  She leaves him alone in the chapel.

 

Anita is playing with Connor.  Weirdo night workman says it’s all clear, and he leaves.  She takes Connor up to bed.  Weirdo calls someone and says, “it’s done.”  He’s talking to ADAM’S HAND!  Adam’s Hand has secretly installed a nanny cam in Connor’s nursery.  I’d say that wasn’t very helpful except everyone does spill their guts to this kid.  Hmm…is there a nanny cam in Chelsea’s bedroom??  I wonder.  Adam’s Hand drums his fingers like any good evil genius.

 

Lily returns to the table, and Kelly says nice idea, but she and Neil are not happening.  Kelly spills it that Neil is already seeing someone.  Lily is fully committed to her denial of this fact and thinks Neil is actually making up fake women to avoid getting hurt again.  Lily thinks they can still find the right guy for Kelly though.  Kelly glances over her shoulder at Right Guy Jack.

 

Billy talks Chloe down off the ledge some more.  He relates to her, describing how he and Victoria went through all those fertility treatments, thinking they would do ANYTHING to make it happen.  She feels bad and hopes he will never bring this up.  He says there’s no shame in him going to Gamblers Anonymous, and there is no shame in her sharing all this with a therapist.  He doesn’t judge her, he just wants her to get some help.  She leaves, and he looks genuinely worried about her.  But she’s out on the porch saying to herself, that’s right, ANYTHING to make it happen.  You know, maybe Billy should SHARE this information with someone, someone like Chloe's legal guardian.

Jill is visiting Colin in the attic again.  He’s still bringing up sexy times.  She tells him Cane’s been to see her, and he’s not worried about Colin, he’s just worried about Jill.  Nyah, nyah.  But Cane’s a nosy little jerk like everyone else in town, and he searched Jill’s desk and found Colin’s wallet.  Jill’s gonna have some ‘splainin to do.  BUT, Cane’s found a business card in Colin’s wallet…for Bonaventure.  Gasp!  Now COLIN’S going to have some ‘splainin to do!

 

Victor tells Adam’s ashes that Adam did do a lot of damage to a lot of people, unlike Victor, of course.  But underneath it all, Adam just wanted his approval.  Blah blah, Victor’s great, and Adam wasn’t, but he did just want to protect his family.  So, he respects that because it’s just like him.  He says it leaves a deep hole in his heart that they never really bonded.  “Rest In Peace, my boy.”  No, he never says he loved him.

 

Anita is pleased to tell Chelsea how great she did watching Connor, and leaves.  Chelsea tells Connor how much she and Adam love him.  She says lots of gushy nice stuff about Adam loving Connor and how much she misses him, and she cries.  Adam’s Hand is watching the whole thing.  The fingers are drumming.  Next time we see Adam's Hand, I hope it's petting a cat.

Wonder if it was absinthe.

 

This made me laugh, because they were sure acting like they were on absinthe.  I referenced it in today's recap.  :)  Thanks for the idea.

[LeftPhalange]

 

Jack, Victor, and Chelsea are at the memorial service.  Chelsea says Sharon decided not to come.  What in the hell?  That means 50% of Adam’s friends aren’t coming.  Jack acts totally classless and asks if it has anything to do with why Nikki moved out, and snarks on Victor for referring to Adam, his son, as…HIS SON. Get a grip, Jack. Chelsea’s like if you guys act like this you can leave.

 

Jack was really trashy during the memorial. Since he practically adopted Adam you would think he would have enough respect to keep his mouth closed for an hour. And I hope Adam knows Sharin couldn't be bothered to go to his memorial and keeps that in mind if/when she starts sniffing around him again.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Neil and Kelly are both like, omg.  No.

99.9% of the audience is like, omg. No. Even Kelly doesn't deserve Neil.

 

Anita defends herself to horrible Victor.  He’s not impressed.  He says the boy is not safe with Thiswoman.

Man, Victor just has zero self-awareness, doesn't he? I get the creeps every time I see him in the same room with Connor (or any other innocent child, for that matter).

 

Esther returns from the casino and is full of tacky t-shirt gifts for Jill. 

Doesn't Esther get a quarter million dollars a year from Kay's estate? Why does she need to be throwing her money away at some tacky casino?

 

Jack, Victor, and Chelsea are at the memorial service. 

And yet again I'm left to wonder how Victor is able to enter a church without bursting into flames.

 

He stumbles all over himself explaining how he’s dating someone already, but Lily doesn’t know, but it’s not like it’s a secret, but it’s not like anyone knows about it, and you know what, never mind.

I couldn't believe Neil said he was already "dating" someone. They've never done anything except hit the sheets so he could just as easily be "dating" one of those plastic sex dolls. I'm just waiting for the moment when he decides he's the one getting used. Grrr.

 

And I hope Adam knows Sharin couldn't be bothered to go to his memorial and keeps that in mind if/when she starts sniffing around him again.

Sharon has more important things to worry about right now. Plus, she probably knows Adam isn't really dead.

 

Whose ashes were in that urn at the chapel? Did Adam pay some guy to be cremated? Maybe it's full of kitty litter.

[Snaporaz]

 

Doesn't Esther get a quarter million dollars a year from Kay's estate? Why does she need to be throwing her money away at some tacky casino?

As someone who doesn't really get gambling at all, I'd guess it's just a thrill or an addiction.  Billy's loaded, too, but that doesn't stop him from playing poker.

 

When Victor said the words "Adam's family", I heard "Addams Family" and suddenly realized how much Victor looks like Lurch.  My synapses have been very strange lately...

[PatsyandEddie]

The ashes in the urn would belong to the guy who was fished out of the river two counties away. You know, the guy whose dental records exactly matched Adam's.

[treestar13]

Greetings all, I just found out that TWoP went south and found familiar names here.  I really haven't watched since the Delia incident, and I have been remiss about keeping up with the show (every once in a while I'd check and it was same old same old).  Thought I'd check in to see what's up.  I might just go back into hiding again!

 

I gather they have ruined Stitch.  I saw some of his first scenes and thought he was a breath of fresh air, and he put Dylan to shame.  So much potential.  Lost.  Way to go, JFP.

 

New Billy not cutting it I guess.  I was never a BM fan anyway, but the new one sounds awful.

 

They are bringing back a new Phyllis - yikes!  Nooooo!

 

Are they ruining Colin again?  Loved him.

 

A new Adam, well, the perfect actor choice could be okay, I guess.

 

Looks like nothing's changed much.  I would love to enjoy the show again but there's no way with the way things are --  but Peaches, you are da bomb!  I can keep yup with your recaps that make me laugh hysterically.  

[peach]

Thur, May 15, 2014
Colin’s gone Papillon in Jill’s attic, bouncing a tennis ball to hold back insanity.   Jill delivers him some stale crackers and water for breakfast.  She says he can do this the easy way or the hard way, but he is going to give her a divorce.  Colin thinks Cane will get suspicious soon enough, but Jill’s not worried about it.  Cane’s not that smart.

 

Cane’s at Victor’s office.  He tells Victor he’s still looking for the proof on Bonaventure.  The offer still stands for this grifter to run an international conglomerate if he can find out this one thing.  Cane flashes back to finding the Bonaventure card in Colin’s wallet, but he only tells Victor he needs more time.  Well, Victor can smell when someone has a Secret, and he tells Cane he doesn’t HAVE any more time.  Cane purses his lips.

 

Jack visits Chelsea and says he was happy to honor Adam yesterday even if it was a little tense with Victor there.  Wait, who made it tense?  Sharon appears.  She’s wearing an interesting sheer top with flowers on it..in GCRB, of course.  She says Victor is the reason she had to miss the memorial herself, because he turns her stomach.  Chelsea points out that Victor was willing to put aside HIS differences with them, so like, who’s the bigger person now?  Sharon says Victor has ZERO respect for the dead.

 

Kelly, Devon, and Lily are trying to have a breakfast meeting about the next fashion show, but Lily is distracted by her phone.  She hasn’t been able to track all of Neil’s movements and she’s really worried about him.  Of course, Neil is in bed with Hilary RIGHT OVER THEIR HEADS.  Neil likes waking up with Hilary, and he doesn’t like sneaking around.  He wants to go public.  She looks unenthused.

 

Cane JUST NOW asks if there is anything to connect Victor to Viva Surge, like old emails, etc.  He’s a go-getter, this one.  Victor says there’s nothing of the kind, but he’s in charge, so he’s still liable.  Victor says Jack and Jill have always wanted to ruin him, but Cane’s ruled them out.  He says they were suspicious of Bonaventure from the beginning.  Cane believes it was very complicated scheme, and very few people could have known anything about Katherine’s estate.  He says no one was more shocked than Jill how it all turned out.

 

Jill tells Colin that Cane thinks he’s consorting with criminals and running cons again.  Colin says Jill’s just punishing him for hurting her.  She ain’t hurt, she’s PISSED.  More arguing about the divorce.  Blah blah.  Jill says he only loves himself, and he gets mad and yells that he loves Cane, and says she has no idea what he’s done to prove that!  No, she doesn’t, Jill says, so why doesn’t he tell her?

 

Devon finds out Lily tried to set up Kelly and Neil.  Kelly says Neil is seeing someone else, which Lily still doesn’t believe, even though she CAN’T FIND HIM, and Devon chuckles, saying this explains everything.  I guess Lily just can’t believe this scenario because she didn’t know about it first.

 

Hilary thinks Neil hasn’t really thought it through about going public with their relationship, because Lily’s head is going to explode.  Hilary tries to remind him WHY Lily hates her, you know, for trying to ruin their lives and all, but Neil says that’s ancient history because she’s naked in his bed.  She asks him if he’s really ready to jeopardize all his relationships and his reputation.  Neil doesn’t give a crap, well…except for Devon.  He’s worried how Devon will feel.  I guess Lily can just suck it, because females don’t even know what they’re thinking most of the time.

 

Colin and Jill blah blah in the attic.  She leaves, causing a box to fall over.  He uses his foot to find some kind of journal or something, and he finds it interesting.  It’s probably about as interesting as the music box, as in not very.  Also, he did a crappy job of searching the attic the first time.

 

Cane confronts Jill about his missing father.  He thinks she’s hiding something.  He really needs a haircut.    He shows her Colin’s wallet in the desk drawer, and the Bonaventure card.  She’s shocked.  Cane asks if she thinks Colin is connected to Victor and this company.

 

Noah visits Victor in the office because Victor’s lawyer wants Noah to testify for him.  Noah’s like why do you think I would help you after what you did to my mother?  Victor is surprised.  Seriously.  He says Noah is his grandson, that’s why.  It’s the right thing to do.  Noah totally doesn’t understand how this family loyalty thing works.

 

Sharon fills in Jack and Chelsea about Victor’s dastardly Fake Cassie plan.  They’re like, holy crap.  Sharon says now they know why she can’t be in the same room with him.  Chelsea’s really been drinking the Victor Newman Kool-Aid, because she keeps saying he had to have some kind of MOTIVE for doing that to Sharon.  Jack’s like Victor doesn’t need no stinking motive.  Sharon snaps at Chelsea for defending in any fashion what Victor did.

 

Noah is angry because he is the one who confided in Victor that his mother was having hallucinations of Cassie in the first place.  He trusted his own grandpa, but he took that private information and used it to get what he wanted.  Aww, poor Noah.  :(  Victor does that thing where he sounds like he’s going to apologize but he blames the other person at the end of the sentence.  “I have absolutely hated some of the things your mother has done, K?”  Noah wastes his breath trying to get Victor to see things like a human being, and Victor tells him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Noah stresses that his mother did terrible things when she was SICK.  Then Victor actually says, “I want nothing more than for your mother to become well again.  I want her to be that beautiful and honest and lovely woman she once was.”  That’s why he terrorized her with a fake dead child.

 

Chelsea says she’s not defending Victor, she just thinks there has to be more to the story.  Okay, okay, there is.  Sharon tells about The Secret he was trying to get out of her, and how her fried brain forgot it all.  In fact, the only other person who knows anything about it is Phyllis.  WHOA, that perks Jack’s ears right up.  What does Phyllis have to do with this?  Jack doesn’t have a clue about it, and knows damn well that Sharon and Phyllis weren’t sharing their secrets with each other.  Just husbands.  Jack says Phyllis may never recover.  Sharon’s like, well, shit.

 

Kelly just found a perfect condo sublet, so she’s looking forward, y’all.  She rushes off to check it out.  Devon is ready for some new digs himself.  He’s moving into the penthouse suite.  Lily thinks Esmerelda will help decorate it, and Devon is like, what, are you high?  He doesn’t date Esmerelda for her opinions, Lily.  It’s not that kind of relationship.  She’s not a Woman Of Substance.

 

Hilary agrees that she and Neil have to consider Devon’s feelings, like they did when they jumped in the sack together.  Neil says once he explains to Devon how they arrived at this point, he’ll get behind their relationship.  You mean, arriving with rebound sex?   Hilary is still uncomfortable about causing conflict in his family.  Neil gets that judgy tone and asks if that’s the real hangup, or is it really that she just doesn’t see this relationship going anywhere?  Welcome to Leslie’s world, Hilary.

 

Neil continues being insecure and self-centered, but Hilary convinces him he’s still all that and a bag of chips to her.  He makes her feel special, and he says she is special, and he wants to take her out and show her off to whole world, because that’s what young trophy girlfriends are for, dammit.  God help me,  Hilary says, but she’s in.  God help us both, Hilary.  Good luck with that.

 

Lily thought Devon and Esme had a future together, and he can barely contain his disgust for his stupid girlfriend and her stupid interests.  Cane shows up, and Lily actually admits that Neil IS supposedly seeing someone.  Cane, like Devon, is like, well that explains everything.  IKR?  Lily still doesn’t buy it because nobody told HER.  Devon leaves, and Lily asks Cane what’s going on with him.  He explains his visit to Victor, and how worried he is about the feds crawling all over him.  Lily correctly guesses that Cane knows something about Bonaventure but isn’t sure he should tell Victor.

 

Colin studies the journal but hides it when Jill comes in.  She says, “you’ve been a busy boy.”  She confronts him about Bonaventure.  He claims it’s a coincidence.  She says she WILL starve him if he doesn’t start talking and let her into this other life of his.

 

Victor tells Noah how great he used to think Sharon was, and that she would be good for Nick, way back before he married her himself.  But his grandma never liked her, so there!  Noah’s like…whatever.   He isn’t going to forgive what happened, and he’s like, a doctor shot electricity into her brain!!  Victor’s like, hey, that’s on her, not me.  He never told her to do that.

 

Jack tells Sharon that Victor should not be able to get away with this.  Sharon says Avery said she doesn’t really have a case against him.  Jack realizes that this is why Nikki left Victor, and they both gloat a teeny bit over it.

 

Noah’s like, oh, so you aren’t responsible for any of the damage you cause?  Victor tells Noah he will have the lawyer withdraw the request to testify if he feels forced.  Noah says he will testify that Victor didn’t know anything about Bonaventure,  not because he’s his grandson, but because it’s the truth, and that’s how his mother raised him.  Take that, Victor.  Victor blathers again about how everything he does is for the benefit of the family, because clearly we can see how much Noah is benefiting from this now.

 

Chelsea is upset because she’s now become a landlord of buildings that Adam owned and doesn’t know how to handle it.  Jack is there to handle it!  He takes some papers and is going to look at the building in question, which will be Kelly’s new condo, of course.  Chelsea defends her dependence on Victor because while Sharon is finding her way back to Nick, her husband is dead and buried like Sharon’s secret.  Sharon says it’s not as dead as Adam, because it can still come back to blow up her life when she least expects it.  Just like ADAM.  Ha!  Good one, show.

 

Colin says Old Vic’s problems have nothing to do with him.  Jill says enjoy the crackers, because he’s not getting any more food from now on.  WAIT…Colin says this old attic has a treasure trove of information, including the key to the music box, and if she lets him out, he’ll share it with her.  Riiiight.  Jill laughs and says Colin is the biggest liar on the face of the earth, and leaves.  Aw, the boy who cried wolf is finally telling the truth.

 

Cane tells Lily about the Bonaventure card.  He doesn’t know what to do.  He needs to talk to Colin. Lily says what if he IS responsible?  Will you turn him in then?

 

Sharon asks Chelsea if she thinks what Victor did was deserved.  Of course she doesn’t.  Well, Sharon is living proof of what happens if you get too close to Victor…and burn down his house.  Chelsea knows, she knows.  But she really knows Victor, and she so adores how into his grandson he is, isn’t it just so precious?  Sharon gives a knowing smile.  She says, yeah, until he twists it around and uses it as a weapon. 

 

Victor shows up at Jill’s door.  He says if you think I’m going down…without a fight,... you’re sadly mistaken.  She just looks at him like there’s room in the attic for him too.  He accuses her and Jack, along with Kyle, of conspiring to bring him down.  She would love to bring him down, but she has nothing to do with his current predicament with the FDA.  Jill makes a rookie mistake and mentions that she already told Cane today that she knows nothing about this crap.  He’s like, oh, so you talked to Cane, huh?  He leaves.  Jill kicks herself for revealing that.  She picks up the stupid music box.  “Damn you, Colin, have you REALLY discovered something?”  He keeps reading the journal in the attic.

 

Jack shows up at the empty condo and Kelly walks in.  OMG, what a coincidence!!!  They’re going to have to give in to fate, I’d wager.

 

Hilary and Neil make out in her doorway.  Devon walks around the corner, and sees them.  He seriously looks pained enough to cry.  The penthouse idea kind of sucks now.

Edited May 16, 2014 by peach

[Snaporaz]

Thank you, peach!  Now I know what I missed, because once again, I spaced out during the Neil and Hillary bedroom scenes.  And once again, I was fantasizing about food...this time, it was the eggs Florentine that Jill was teasing Colin with while he was enjoying his stale crackers.  I like to think that the writers are dropping delicious-sounding foods in every episode that contains a Neil-and-Hillary-in-the-afterglow scene just for me! 

 

 

Victor shows up at Jill’s door.  He says if you think I’m going down…without a fight,... you’re sadly mistaken.  She just looks at him like there’s room in the attic for him too.

How freaking awesome would that be?!!  Talk about "balancing karmic scales"...One of my first memories of this show is when Victor locked his first wife's lover in his basement dungeon!

[miamama]

Victor does that thing where he sounds like he’s going to apologize but he blames the other person at the end of the sentence.  “I have absolutely hated some of the things your mother has done, K?” 

 

lol. This is great.

 

What does Phyllis have to do with this?  Jack doesn’t have a clue about it, and knows damn well that Sharon and Phyllis weren’t sharing their secrets with each other.  Just husbands.

 

And so is this.

[peach]

Fri, May 16, 2014
Jack says it’s a nice surprise to see Kelly.  She thinks he’s not surprised at all, and he knew she was going to be there…because he does care about her, and holy hell, she starts yelling like crazy, which is really loud in that empty condo, about how she’s not going to throw herself at him or something.  I don’t even know.  Jack says wow, she can really go off.

 

Victors creeps up beside Cane at the club and throaty whispers, “the clock is ticking, Cane.”  Omg, he’s the Grim Reaper!  No, the clock is ticking on the FDA investigation.  Cane is very well aware of that, and hasn’t got any information.  Victor tells him he was lying before and he’s lying now, so change that up and tell him the truth.

 

Hilary and Neil are in mid-liplock.  Devon hides around the corner and listens to their mushy gushy talk for a second.  He is not digging it. 

 

Shick time!  Nick wants to go on a romantic picnic with Sharon.  She would love to, but she has plans to go see Cassie…oops, she means Mariah.  Nick looks aggravated.  Cassie is in her hotel room sending a text to Tyler who’s at Crimson Lights.  It’s a photo of Mariah and Tyler in bed together, but Mariah has black hair, so this is obviously pre-Fake Cassie.  THE Abby Newman comes up behind him and sees it.  “Are you kidding me??” she says, and slams that hideous striped clutch on the counter.  She’s also dressed fully in GCRB.

 

Cane says he isn’t lying.  Victor says Jill says otherwise, that Cane had been to see her asking questions.  Yes, he was asking questions since Jill helped him acquire Bonaventure in the first place.  Victor says Jack and Jill want Chancellor to fail now, and Cane agrees, but says if he had anything new, he would bring it to Victor.  Well, he’d better, or he’s going to get Victor creepy breathing in his face again.  Victor leaves. 

 

Lily approaches and questions Cane about not telling him about Colin and Bonaventure.  Cane doesn’t want to until he has a chance to actually talk to Colin about it and find out what’s going on.  Lily is worried that Victor will find out Cane didn’t tell him and blow his chance to get back into Chancellor.  Cane would have told Victor if this was six months ago, but he feels differently now.  Lily’s like, be real, Colin obviously set it up.  Blahblah second chances.

 

Hilary and Neil are still liplocking, but Neil FINALLY breaks away and leaves.  Devon comes up and POUNDS on Hilary’s door.  She’s taken aback for a second, and manages to say this isn’t a good time for her.  Devon says you were having a good time a second ago.  “The man you’ve been seeing is MY FATHER?” he spits out.  Her mouth is hanging open.

 

Nick argues with Sharon about Mariah.  He’s concerned that in Sharon’s mind, she still thinks of her as Cassie.   Plus this girl got inside Sharon’s head and messed with her thoughts, and Nick doesn’t want Mariah anywhere near Sharon.  He wants her butt on a plane out of town, along with his dad.  Sharon just needs to know more about her, and why she did it all.  Nick says not to expect any answers.  He wants to go with her, but Sharon insists on going alone.

 

Jack tells wound up Kelly that he’s not a stalker, he’s just doing a favor for Chelsea because Adam used to own the place.  That seems to cool her jets, and she talks about helping Adam set up The Delia Project, and that he seemed sincere.  Jack says he’ll give her number to the property manager and she can deal with that person.  Um, why didn’t they just do that in the first place…ohhh, because there are no accidents.  Jack thinks this is Fate doing him a favor.  God knows Fate’s been giving him a pretty hard time lately.

 

“Fate is a lie people tell themselves so they don’t have to own up to their own actions,” says Kelly.  This doesn’t sound like the Vivaldi lover Jack knows.  You know what, I think she’s wearing the exact same necklace Nikki was wearing when she went to the hospital the other day.  I love that necklace.  Jack and Kelly argue about fate and pragmatism, but Jack insists that part of him believes in magic.  Kelly only believes in what she can touch, and Jack agrees that touching is nice.  Etc. 

 

Devon asks Hilary how long this has been going on. She says Neil was going to tell them this very day.  Devon is hot under the collar and accuses her of going after Neil the second he broke up with Leslie…and before that she was going after Jack.  He accuses her of having daddy issues, and asks who was going to be next, Victor Newman?  She’s like go find your gold digger and get out of my room.  He reminds her that this is his room because he owns the place, which really hacks her off.

 

Abby cannot believe “the brass on this chick.”  She rants quite fairly about what a menace Mariah is and who she might terrorize next, maybe Faith!  Leslie walks in.  Abby tells her Mariah wouldn’t take a payoff to leave town, but she’s not going to let Mariah get to her. She deletes the photo and goes to work.

 

For some reason, Nick is at Victor’s office so they can give us a blow-by-blow recap of the entire Sharon’s Secret/Fake Cassie/Crazy Town debacle.  Everyone up to date now?  Good.  Nick tells Victor that Sharon had hypnosis and recovered this worthless secret, and it was about Faith and burning down the ranch.  Victor’s like that’s ridiculous. Everyone already knew that.  He does actually say that he believes that Sharon does not want to hurt Nick.  But the only way for her to not hurt him is to get away from him.  Which would also hurt him, dumbo.  Anyway, even Victor is tired of rehashing this conversation for the 243rd time, and asks if that’s the only reason Nick is there.  “Not by a long shot,” says Nick.

 

Mariah is busy counting a large stack of cash.  Sharon shows up at her door so she can say thank you.  Mariah says that doesn’t make any sense.  Sharon tells her about the hypnosis, and that it didn’t work.  Mariah’s like omg, first ECT, now hypnosis.  It just keeps getting worse, how can Sharon stand to be around her?  Sharon really wants to be around her, though, and thinks if they spend time together, talking and stuff, the secret might bubble up.  Mariah says “we can’t hang out, that’s crazy.”  Mariah says pretending to be Cassie the first time was gross enough, and it makes her feel like a creep remembering how sad Sharon always was looking at her, sad, but happy too.  She is NOT Cassie.  Sharon knows this, so she wants to get to know who Mariah is instead.

 

Nick demands to know everything Victor knows about Mariah Copeland.  He says she’s long gone, and Nick says Victor’s either lying and he asked her to stick around, or he’s slipping and doesn’t even know what’s going on and that she’s still around, talking to Sharon.  He gives Nick his word that he has nothing to do with Mariah now.  BAM!  Abby slams through the door, and, oh, it’s on.  She yells at Victor for tussling with this psycho girl to pretend to be Faux Cassie, who just happens to be the real Mariah, who just happens to be Tyler’s stalker ex fiancée and amateur photographer who is trying to break them up.  He wanted to tank Nick and Sharon??  Well, he just may have tanked Tyler and Abby instead.  Victor is like, wait, what?  He’s still getting something good out of this deal?

 

Cane wonders where his dad is.  Lily says maybe he’s with her dad, because she can’t find him either.  But Neil strolls by right then, and Lily invites him to have coffee.  She smells perfume on him!  That must be some really strong perfume.  She’s like, omg, you were with “her?”  Neil thinks she knows who “her” is, and says he wanted to tell her about this today.  He doesn’t want to upset her.  Lily says it won’t upset her, ARE YOU KIDDING?  She wants to cheer him on and find out everything about this woman.  Neil realizes Lily does NOT know it’s Hilary, so he says they should schedule a special dinner to talk about it.  Of course, Lily finds that strange, and wants to meet her just right away of course.  Cane says to let Neil have some privacy. OKAY, okay, but what’s her name?  Big smile.

 

Devon says he has to hand it to his sister, because she sure had Hilary pegged.  Hilary says Lily doesn’t know me, and neither do you!  He’s like NO SHIT!  Devon says he said so many times she deserved a second chance, and she just second chanced her way into bed with his dad.  She’s understandably pissed off since it was Neil hounding her mercilessly.  He says, “Wait, didn’t Neil take your MOTHER back to a hotel room once?  You must have some twisted mommy issues, too!” She slaps him!  You can say what you want about Hilary, but DO NOT TALK ABOUT HER MOMMA.  And show Neil some RESPECT.  “Respect for what?  Getting sucked in by you?  I guess that makes both the Winters men fools.”  Yup.  He gives her the once over and says, “At least Neil got something out of it.”  Cold.  She’s furious now, and tells him to GET OUT.  He says he’ll send housekeeping to make her bed.

 

Kelly walks out of the condo, and wouldn’t you know it….down the hall someone is playing the violin.  Guess what they’re playing, you guys.  Vivaldi.  Jack is totally winning his Fate argument.

 

Victor’s like, so you say TYLER knows this woman?  “Biblically,” says Abby.  Nick pounces on this.  See, Dad, you’re slipping.  “Usually you vet your minions better than this.”  Ha! Abby fills in Nick on how Mariah locked her in a loft, canceled their bid on a house, and her harassment of Tyler.  And she’s on Newman payroll.  Victor mulls this over and says, “she’s a sociopath.”  Nick’s like DUH!  Who else would pretend to be Cassie to drive someone insane??  And who else would hire her? Another sociopath?  Victor is perplexed and unhappy.  Nick says he’s going to go tell Sharon about this. Abby says, go tell EVERYONE.  She wants Mariah gone.  Nick leaves, and Abby says, Dad, don’t you see, YOU inflicted this woman on us.  Hmm…what Victor sees…is that Tyler is associated with Mariah.  Abby doesn’t want to hear that. She says, “Dad, you could crush someone like this like a tick.  So…do it!”

 

Sharon tells Mariah she can’t help but think that somehow she and Cassie are related.  Nick wasn’t Cassie’s birth father.  Mariah starts slowly backing up.  Sharon says, maybe on her mother’s side?  The mother?  Sharon’s brain is really fried.  Mariah says her family is all long dead, but her mother’s name was Helen Copeland.  That doesn’t mean anything to Sharon.  Hey, MAYBE she has the same DAD as Cassie?  Guess we aren’t asking that today.  Mariah has to go the store and Sharon offers to drive her.  Mariah says again they cannot hang out.  “It’s deranged!” Mariah wishes Sharon would stop being so nice to her since she put her in a hospital.  Sharon says then she owes it to her to talk to her sometimes.

 

Kelly thinks Jack paid someone to pay Vivaldi.  He asks why she’s so afraid of Fate.  She keeps acting wacky and angry, so he finally decides to leave, and then she’s like, that’s it??  What about Fate.  This goes on a little longer, and Jack says what do you want?  Then she kinda sleepwalks across the floor to him, takes his face in her hands and kisses him so melodramatically, I started laughing.  This is like a weird play.  Jack says it was brave.  She says it was Vivaldi.  She gets upset and says she can’t lose anymore.  He’s lost it all too and says maybe they can start something new.

 

Neil is stalling, and Devon walks up and says he’s glad Neil’s got his pants back on. HAHA!  Neil is stammering about what Devon must have seen, and Devon says to Cane, “Remember who tried to trick you into bed last year?  Well, she succeeded with this one!”  Lily is FLOORED.  She says you have GOT to be kidding me.  NOT HER.  And in walks Hilary.  It’s ugly in there, y’all.

 

Leslie can’t believe Tyler hasn’t told Abby about Portland.  It’s something a wife should know.  Tyler’s afraid of what Abby might do when she’s fired up.  Leslie asks who he’s really worried about.  Mariah, maybe?  Tyler makes a bunch of excuses for Mariah because of her terrible childhood.  Leslie’s like uh-uh, we had a terrible childhood too.  Tyler says Mariah has nobody, and Leslie says it sounds like maybe she has Tyler.

 

Nick and Sharon debate Mariah.  Where would Sharon be if no one gave her second chances?  Nick’s like, you don’t know the half of it, Mariah’s been in town messing with other people besides you.  Sharon is shocked to find out Mariah’s been terrorizing Abby, too.  Nick says there is so much they don’t know about this girl, but they do now she is NOTHING like Cassie.  Mariah is no victim, and Sharon cannot trust her and her mind games.

 

Abby tells Victor he has epic resources and a creative imagination.  He came up with the Fake Cassie plan, for God’s sake, so do something to get rid of Mariah.  He hugs her and says he’ll take care of it.  Can’t they just kill her?  That seems simple enough.

 

Mariah comes back to her hotel and looks in her drawer for her pile of cash…and it’s GONE.

 

Jack and Kelly flirt blahblahblah.  Courtship again.  The violin music stops.  Time to go.  Together.

 

Hilary decides she can’t with these people, and she walks out.  Neil follows her out and apologizes.  She says she knew this was going to happen.  Back in the dining room, Lily is blown away that Neil went after HER and chose Hilary over them.  Devon says he made that choice the second he took her to bed.  Cane’s like everyone chill, and we’ll talk to Neil later.  Lily says this is about HILARY, not her dad, and she is NOT going to get away with this.  Cane just makes a face like good luck with that.  You haven’t seen him playing basketball.

[Evanscody]

Thanks so much for the recaps Peach. With the wildfires here in So.Cal, most of the episode were pre-empted. All is safe here as the fires were well north. Peach is a peach to help catch up on the episodes without interruption!

[peacheslatour]

Love ya, Peach!  I don't know how you manage to sit thru all this crap so you can write your awesome re-caps.  You have a stronger stomach than I do.  Thanks for all the hilarity!!

[LeftPhalange]

Can't Sharin just accept the fact that in GC it's possible to look exactly like someone else without being related to them? I find it kinda creepy that she keeps trying to talk to Mariah. And Mariah doesn't even know her secret so what is Sharin hoping to accomplish?

 

I don't really understand Hilary's point of view during her argument with Devon. Sure, he shouldn't have said she has daddy and mommy issues (even though she probably does) and shouldn't have basically implied that she's a slut, but she didn't seem to understand at all why Devon might have a problem with her screwing Neil. She came to town to destroy his father and now she's sleeping with him. That's weird.

 

I have no words for the ridiculousness that is Jack and Kelly.

[PatsyandEddie]

I don't find it creepy that Sharon is fascinated with Mariah at all. This girl has the exact face of her deceased daughter. I would be fascinated to the point of obsession. 

 

You go Stitch!! I don't see him as creepy. He has fallen hard  for Vicki and doesn't want to lose her.  Vicki did a sudden 180 on him and he wants to know why. 

[Joimiaroxeu]

Just gonna go on record now and bet that when Jack and Kelly get married (knowing Jack it'll be about a month from now) she'll be marching down the aisle to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. It's amazing how Kelly is now more "to the manor born" than the Abbotts and the Chancellors. (Not counting the Newmans because they're nouveau riche.)

[peach]

You go Stitch!! I don't see him as creepy. He has fallen hard  for Vicki and doesn't want to lose her.  Vicki did a sudden 180 on him and he wants to know why. 

 

I'm not sure how hard he's actually fallen for Vicki, or how much of it is desperation to replace his lost family with this appealing opportunity.  I think HE thinks it's the real thing, though.  I just wish he was playing it with more concern and acting less demanding.  But let's give him a pass, anyway!  ;D  Hot Sean Carrigan gets the benefit of the doubt from this recapper.  lol

[peach]

Mon, May 19
Chloe and Chelsea work on business, while Chloe appears to be in an almost manic state in order to avoid any and all questions about the crazy baby plan.  This includes questions from Billy, who walks up and wants to know if she’s doing okay “after last night.”

 

Not Taking A Hint Stitch is leaving Vicky yet another voice mail because she isn’t answering them.  He’s upset and wants to know when she’s coming back because he has things he wants to discuss with her, namely that he read her lab work and knows she’s pregnant.  He tells Dylan he knows why she left town.  Wait, what?  Nosy and talkative?  No, Stitch, no!

 

Nick wants Sharon to agree to stay away from Mariah because she’s a CRIMINAL.  Sharon thinks she’s just “troubled.”  Hearing more of Mariah’s [insanity] story makes Sharon want to reach out to her again.  No, Sharon, no!  Mariah is probably hoping she reaches out with some money, because her cash envelope is mysteriously empty.  She freaks out and calls…someone…(Ian?), saying this person promised to be there for her, and she NEEDS him/her/it.

 

Abby asks Victor how he’s going to get rid of the tick, Mariah.  Abby, Abby, Abby.  That’s not how this is done.  She asked Victor to get rid of her, and he shall.  Abby reminds him he owes it to everyone to get rid of Thatwoman since he hired her in the first place.  She leaves, and he calls a henchman.

 

Chelsea asks Chloe what happened with Billy.  NOTHING, nothing, don’t be ridiculous.  “I was just missing Delia a little more than usual, that’s all.”  Missing Delia a little more than usual usually equals something like kidnapping or rape, but Billy sorta kinda covers for Chloe.  Chelsea’s not convinced.

 

Stitch is going to play that game when you act like you know something, but you can’t tell anyone about it, even though you just did.  Dylan doesn’t like that game.  He gets as nosy as Stitch, because Victoria’s his sister, doggoneit.  Stitch is like, she’s been your sister for about 10 minutes, which is about as long as she’s been Stitch’s quasi-girlfriend, so it seems fair enough to me.  Dylan protects his peeps, yo, Stitch, you know that.  They bicker about who should be up in whose business. Can you imagine being in Afghanistan with these two?  Dylan says it’s not like you and Victoria are  married and have kids.  Stitch’s face gives it all away.  Stitch is as good at lying as Victoria.  Unless he’s lying about his past, he’s good at that.  He tells Dylan he should have “left it alone” and walks out.  He’s dressed all in black like he’s going on a caper.

 

Ian is at Mariah’s telling her his funds are all tied up because Victor Newman is investigating him and The Path.  Right.  I suppose he’s living on sunshine and positive thoughts over at the GCAC.  He asks her if she has ANYONE else she can [take advantage of] turn to, and Mariah insists that everyone hates her.  Well…except for Sharon.  Ian thinks that’s nice, that at least one member of the Newman family can keep an open mind, so that their brain falls out.  Even Mariah thinks it might be tacky to ask Sharon for money, but Ian knows you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, so she should call Sharon.  Ian thinks if Mariah is open and honest about her troubles, perhaps Sharon will open her heart in return.  Her troubles are pretty much that some other criminal stole the money she was paid for destroying Sharon’s brain, but what else is she gonna do?

 

Nick is really aggravated that Sharon wants to see Mariah ever again at all ever.  Sharon says she understands Mariah now.  Nick says, you mean that she’s a liar and a stalker?  Sharon understands that loss leads people to commit desperate acts, and they should BOTH understand that.  Nick has a moment of self-awareness and mentions Summer’s paternity.  He admits he’s done things he regrets, but Mariah doesn’t regret anything, she just wants to keep stirring up trouble.  Sharon delves into some severe rationalization about needing to “understand” Mariah some more, and Nick needs to let her.  Nick thinks she needs to talk to Dr. Mead about it instead.  She pulls the “I thought you had more faith in me than that” card.

 

Leslie is putting the screws to Tyler about how much time he spends sneaking around to explain himself to Mariah and making excuses for her.  Tyler says he’s way done with her, and Leslie doesn’t need to stress her brain about it.  She needs to spend her energy on her invisible new husband.  Abby comes back from taking care of some personal business.  Tyler’s face falls, oh, no, Abby, you didn’t go see Mariah?  Of course not, she was out putting a contract on her, duh.  Remind me never to commit a crime with Abby, because she blabs away to Tyler AND Leslie that she enlisted the expert, Victor, to make Mariah leave town.  Second time’s the charm, I suppose.  Tyler frowns and defensively says, “He can’t do that.”  Now Abby frowns.

 

Tough guy Victor shows up to box at the gym and finds Stitch beating the crap out of the bag because he is FRUSTRATED, y’all.  And loud!  He asks if Stitch would rather do a few rounds in the ring.  Stitch is like not unless you want to die today.  Victor’s not in a good mood either, Stitch, so he thinks this would be a perfect activity for them to blow off steam and break several bones or possibly have a stroke. They spar and Stitch totally has to let him win because Victoria.  SPEAKING OF VICTORIA, he asks Victor if he knows when she’s coming back in town, while sparring. Even Victor is amused by this huge crush he must have on his daughter, and of course, what other tough guy is at the club, but Billy Abbott.  He asks if he can root for them to both get knocked out.  Ha.

 

Chloe admits to Chelsea that there was “some weirdness” between herself and Billy.  Chelsea tries to remain calm and ask what sort of weirdness they are talking about.  Like, felony weirdness?  Chloe TOTALLY throws Billy under the bus,and says he was the one getting overly emotional and acting out over Delia.  She’s talking reaaallly fast at this point, and Chelsea clearly doubts her story.  Chloe says she does get very dramatic about this particular thing, while Chelsea just looks at her sadly.

 

Nick says he does trust Sharon, but he doesn’t trust Mariah.  Blah blah, Mariah needs help.  Nick says Sharon’s worked hard to get better, it’s paying off, so don’t mess with that, but Sharon says this won’t change anything.  Of course not.  Kissy kissy.  And guess who’s at the door?  Poor little Mariah.  Nick clenches his teeth.

 

He says Mariah has a lot of nerve showing up there.  She asks to talk to Sharon privately.  Nick does NOT like this, you guys, and tells Mariah they all know what she’s up to.  He grudgingly leaves.  Sharon gets all gaga about having Mariah in the cottage where Cassie used to live.  Mariah’s like, yeah, I’ve been here before.  She spills out the story about her room getting robbed, and all her money was stolen.  Sharon’s like, the money Victor paid you to haunt me?  Well…yeaaaah, that money, but the only reason Mariah stayed in town is because Sharon WANTED her to.  Sharon’s like, hmm, or is it because you want to steal Tyler from Abby.  Mariah’s like, oh, snap, this is a small town.

 

Abby’s like WTF is your problem, Tyler?  He’s just worried it’s all going to get out of hand.  Well, that’s just silly, Tyler, the Newmans don’t let things get out of hand, even though the Newmans caused this whole thing.  This solves everything!  Sounds good to Leslie.  Abby just wants to plan her honeymoon to Bora Bora because obviously.  Off she goes.  Tyler pouts and worries, and Leslie’s like what’s your damage?  Getting rid of Mariah would be a blessing!  Tyler’s worried how far Victor might go to get rid of her.  Pretty damn far, Tyler.

 

BEST SCENE EVER:  Billy pouts about his father-in-law being buddy-buddy with Stitch.  It isn’t what it looks like, Billy, they just bumped into each other.  Billy whiny warns Victor not to buy what Stitch is selling because he’s just a big opportunist who is now trying to work Victor, too.  Victor has to hold Stitch back, shh shh shh, while Billy laughs like a punk.  Victor says, “You’re still the same jackass you’ve always been.  Now, you get the hell out of here now, K?  Get out.”  Let the big boys get back to their workout.  Jackass Billy leaves while I wipe tears of laughter from my eyes. 

 

Stitch tells Victor “it’s not like that” with Victoria.  Victor says there’s something they need to discuss, K?  Probably how much Billy is a jackass, and that Stitch needs to divert this gutter love thing ASAP.

 

Chelsea and Chloe have more awkward conversation.  Chelsea asks if she talks to her therapist about Connor…or Delia, or Kevin?  Or, um, having a BABY?  Not so much.  But it’s all good, because she’s had a change of plans. Which is to steal Billy’s product some other way, like a fertility clinic, and God knows the medical security around GC is pretty freaking lax.

 

Stitch earnestly tells Victor that he cares about Victoria.  Victor is glad to hear it.  Stitch is surprised, since Vicky IS still married to Billy.  “Billy Abbott is a loser.  He’s a drunk.  He’s a gambler.  He has broken my daughter’s heart many a time.”  Worst of all, he’s an Abbott.  Stitch says he would never do that.  Victor knows that because Stitch is awesome.  He’s a war hero and a damn doctor, so get his daughter out of this disastrous marriage with Gutter Love Abbott.  In fact, Victor tells him not to be shy about it.  He’s got that covered, Victor.

 

Billy catches Chloe in the lobby of the club, but she tries to brush him off. He’s like, LISTEN, I did you a favor by not discussing this in front of Chelsea, but Chloe cuts him off and says she’s accepted that he doesn’t want to have a baby with her, so can he please just forget it!  He insists on talking to her about it, and now that she doesn’t want anything from Billy, she’s going back to just being a bitch to him.  FORGET IT, BILLY!  And she sweeps out the door.  (With a GCRB purse, that I quite like)  Billy finds Chelsea and says they need to talk about Chloe being in seriously bad shape.  Chelsea agrees.

 

Ian is at Crimson Lights. “Hello, Dylan.”  What?  Where is the scary music??  :-/  Dylan tells him to get out.  Ian is disappointed that his son still feels such hostility against him, but he can’t make Ian get out.  Dylan says he can refuse service to anyone, especially someone recruiting his customers into a cult, and Ian says his lawyer girlfriend should have told him that argument won’t hold water.  You know what would hold water?  Should I even say it?  A RESTRAINING ORDER.  But Ian is willing to leave on his own, probably because he sees Nick lurking in the background, and he doesn’t want another pop in the nose.  He says he’ll come back when Dylan is feeling more sociable, and Dylan says that will be the day after NEVER. 

 

Ian tells “Nicholas” it’s good to see him again, and he finally does get a little bit of creepy music, to go say hi to Leslie.  Abby says, “you’re that cult guy who hit on my niece.”  And she stands up like she’s gonna do something about it.  Abby is in a fighting mood today, y’all.  Ian says she must be Abby Newman, and what an attractive family they are.  Now even Tyler’s getting a spine.  Ian just needs to talk to Leslie anyway, and they walk away.  He tells her there is more trouble on the horizon.  As long as you’re paying her with all that money you told Mariah you didn’t have, I’m sure it’s okay with Leslie.

 

Mariah’s a pro, and says it was dumb of her to buy that Sharon wanted to help her.  Sharon’s like you could have mentioned your relationship with Tyler.  Mariah’s all you say you want to get to know me and here you are holding my [present] past against me.  This is WHY she doesn’t trust people, because Sharon’s just another person who LIES.  Sharon’s an idiot and lets that bother her.  WAIT!  Don't go, let me pay you money!!!

 

Ian wants Leslie to look into the legality of him being refused service by Dylan, because that’s a pressing legal matter for someone facing prison for extortion.  Leslie’s like yeah, yeah, but why not just stay away instead?  He intends to stay close to Dylan.  Leslie wants to be done with Ian, and he says if she keeps him from being prosecuted, she will be.  Or, if there’s a trial and he goes to jail.  She can be done then, right?  She says she hates the burden of knowing his secret he shared with her in confidence.  Well, that was the point.

 

Nick talks to Dylan about his arrest for going after Ian.  We all pretend restraining orders do not exist.  They’re all bro about it.  Everyone’s strong, everyone’s great, Avery, Nikki, Sharon.  Nick’s going to protect Sharon from people who can hurt her.  Meanwhile, Sharon is giving money to Mariah.  Ha!  Of course, it’s just enough to get her back on her feet.  Her con artist, troublemaking feet.  Mariah appreciates it, then she gives her a knitted brow thank you, so we all know she really means it even though she had to manipulate her to get the money.

 

Chloe rushes into the Cryogenic Lab section of the hospital where one single person is working.  HELP!  HELP! Someone is clutching their chest in the hallway and she can’t find ANYONE to help, I guess because Stitch is at the gym.  Random Worker rushes into the hallway so Chloe can sneak into the lab.  No, Chloe, no!!

 

Billy tells Chelsea how cray Chloe is acting, and that she drugged him last night to get him to have sex with her.  Chelsea’s like omg, I knew she wanted to have a baby, but not with YOU.  They both freak out over all the unstable things she’s been doing, and they can’t figure out her plan, because they aren’t crazy.  Billy tells Chelsea she knows what they have to do.

 

Leslie tells Dylan she has a friendly warning, that legally he has to serve Ian.  THIS IS SO STUPID.  Leslie laments that she ever took Ian’s case.  I think she's just angling for Dylan to give her some coffee. 

 

Stitch and Victor bond some more over being manly men who care about Victoria.  Stitch half smiles like he’s thinking about what a good grandpa ole Victor is probably going to be.  Yeah, til he eventually DESTROYS YOUR LIFE, you non-Newman scum!

 

Abby and Tyler make dinner plans so she can celebrate Mariah’s departure.  Abby has the evil giggles, and Tyler looks like he doesn’t really like this side of Abby.  He loves grifters, you guys, not these rich evil giggler people.

 

Nick gets home, and Sharon defends “helping” Mariah.  She says Mariah is all alone.  Nick’s like, yeah, because she’s bad!  Sharon thinks she just needs someone to give her a chance, he’ll see.  Mariah goes back to her room where a cop is waiting for her.  She’s under arrest for pending charges in Portland.  UH-OH. 

 

Billy says that’s it.  Chloe needs to be in Fairview.  Chelsea says Chloe is going to hate them. She thinks there is one more thing they can do before she spirals completely out of control.

 

Chloe spirals out of the lab.  She is AMAZING because she managed to find and steal Billy’s product in two minutes and hide it in that cool blue purse.  I don’t really need to see what happens next.

Edited May 20, 2014 by peach

[glowlights]

Thur, May 15, 2014

Colin’s gone Papillon in Jill’s attic,

 

 

^^This is pure gold.

 

I now call complete b.s. on Y&R. I just watched six episodes back to back and the Winters clan and Paul Williams were all over my screen, while Ian was in only one episode. UNACCEPTABLE.

[Joimiaroxeu]

Yeah, til he eventually DESTROYS YOUR LIFE, you non-Newman scum!

Has there ever been anybody Victor thought was good enough for his kids? Maybe he wants them to be like Cersei and Jamie Lannister and keep it in the family.

 

Billy says that’s it.  Chloe needs to be in Fairview.

Grrr, when did Billyboy get his medical degree and who is he to decide Chloe should be committed? He has no legal connection to her. At least Chelsea can sort of claim that Chloe's disintegrating mental state is damaging to their business.

 

She is AMAZING because she managed to find and steal Billy’s product in two minutes and hide it in that cool blue purse.

It's really is sad how the writers are just recyling storylines now. Whatever, doesn't the product have to be kept refrigerated? Are thermal-lined purses a thing now?

[pearlite]

It occurs to me that Dylan and Stitch are either the Itchy and Scratchy or the Abbot and Costello of the show. They probably fought over Hershey bars in the PX or whatever it's called, as hostile forces crept into town...

 

Although the less-than-dynamic duo of Nick and Dylan gives those two a run for their money.

Stitch is going to play that game when you act like you know something, but you can’t tell anyone about it, even though you just did.  Dylan doesn’t like that game.  He gets as nosy as Stitch, because Victoria’s his sister, doggoneit.  Stitch is like, she’s been your sister for about 10 minutes, which is about as long as she’s been Stitch’s quasi-girlfriend, so it seems fair enough to me.  Dylan protects his peeps, yo, Stitch, you know that.  They bicker about who should be up in whose business. Can you imagine being in Afghanistan with these two? 

 

Nick talks to Dylan about his arrest for going after Ian.  We all pretend restraining orders do not exist.  They’re all bro about it. 

 

Chloe spirals out of the lab.  She is AMAZING because she managed to find and steal Billy’s product in two minutes and hide it in that cool blue purse.  I don’t really need to see what happens next.

Just letting you know, more GCRB coming up--on Abby and Chelsea. What's next? An ascot for Ian?

 

Perhaps GCRB has cosmic powers--in Chloe's case, maybe it's an SPS, kind of like a GPS, only for spermies.

[peach]

It occurs to me that Dylan and Stitch are either the Itchy and Scratchy or the Abbot and Costello of the show. They probably fought over Hershey bars in the PX or whatever it's called, as hostile forces crept into town...

 

Although the less-than-dynamic duo of Nick and Dylan gives those two a run for their money.

 

Yeah, but I like it.  This may be an UO, but I like the friendship interactions because it keeps the show from getting monotonous, and makes the characters seem more like almost real people.  I also like when Lily and Kelly act like friends.  I would like to see more of Leslie and Abby together, WITHOUT Tyler.  One brief scene with Lauren and Jill together can make a whole episode, since it happens so rarely.  I don't hate Y&R as much as most people do, though.  lol

Edited May 20, 2014 by peach

[pearlite]

Yeah, but I like it.  This may be an UO, but I like the friendship interactions because it keeps the show from getting monotonous, and makes the characters seem more like almost real people.  I also like when Lily and Kelly act like friends.  I would like to see more of Leslie and Abby together, WITHOUT Tyler.  One brief scene with Lauren and Jill together can make a whole episode, since it happens so rarely.  I don't hate Y&R as much as most people do, though.  lol

I love the friends-interactions, too--in fact, I wait for them. Jill and Lauren really work well together--and Lauren, as a character, is not the type of woman I'd envision as having many friendships with other women. Mind you, I am an unabashed Jess Walton fan, and like you, I don't actually hate the show either. If it were that bad, the mere fear of watching Long Island Medium would keep me in Genoa City. 

[Snaporaz]

I have to agree with your "BEST SCENE EVER":  Stitch and Victor wading knee-deep in testosterone, while Billy heckles them in a voice that sounds like Jay Leno after having sucked the helium out of a balloon!

 

THE Abby Newman is becoming so obnoxious that I find myself on Team Mariah.

 

 

doesn't the product have to be kept refrigerated?

I think it needs to be frozen.  Hence, the Cryogenic lab staffed with one person.

Edited May 20, 2014 by Snaporaz

[peacheslatour]

 

Abby just wants to plan her honeymoon to Bora Bora

At first I read this as Tora Bora and I'm picturing THE Abby Newman wandering around Afghanistan.

[photo fox]

Grrr, when did Billyboy get his medical degree and who is he to decide Chloe should be committed? He has no legal connection to her. At least Chelsea can sort of claim that Chloe's disintegrating mental state is damaging to their business.

 

Well, she did drug him and try to rape him, so there's that.  I can see why he might be a wee bit concerned.

[peach]

At first I read this as Tora Bora and I'm picturing THE Abby Newman wandering around Afghanistan.

 

Omg, like why is everything so dusty?

[Joimiaroxeu]

Well, she did drug him and try to rape him, so there's that.  I can see why he might be a wee bit concerned.

Yeah, he should be concerned. But maybe he should be concerned about having her arrested for attempted assault. IMO, Billy's not qualified to be deciding that anybody needs to be committed. Especially since, for the same reason Chloe went off the rails, he kidnapped and shot a guy and hasn't seen any part of the inside of an asylum or a jail because of it.

[treestar13]

Can someone explain GCRB?  I know I would get even more laughs out of Peaches' recaps if I knew!

[peach]

Can someone explain GCRB?  I know I would get even more laughs out of Peaches' recaps if I knew!

 

Haha, it's Genoa City Royal Blue.  For some reason, I started noticing that everyone was wearing royal blue, like all the time.  (Recapping makes you crazy.)  It's become a thing, seeing who is wearing or accessorizing with royal blue.  Actually, there is more than one shade, sometimes it leans a little toward an electric blue, sometimes it leans more navy, but by God, it's BLUE.  Red & black is a frequent combo as well, but not like GCRB.

Yeah, he should be concerned. But maybe he should be concerned about having her arrested for attempted assault. IMO, Billy's not qualified to be deciding that anybody needs to be committed. Especially since, for the same reason Chloe went off the rails, he kidnapped and shot a guy and hasn't seen any part of the inside of an asylum or a jail because of it.

Well, if hypocrisy is the issue, you've got no argument from me!  That's Billy's stock in trade.  That jackass.  lol

[Snaporaz]

I think Kelly's workout clothes were a shade of GCRB today, and so was Chelsea's weird Spider-woman dress.  

Neil's balls were GCRB before he met Hillary and got his "fresh legs".

Edited May 21, 2014 by Snaporaz

[treestar13]

Thanks Peach!  I don't watch, but now I can imagine GCRB!

[peach]

Well, purple/lavender were the original GCRB. Perhaps the Purple Cloth(!) is teaming up with the Big Blue Plate(!) to subliminally send us messages. I would love to know what is up in the wardrobe department with these color things.

Tyler was wearing GCPurple yesterday!  Maybe Y&R is cutting edge and I just didn't know it, because JLo wore a dress like Esmerelda's showstopper by Chelsea to the Billboard Music Awards, and Cressida Bonas (Prince Harry's possibly ex-girlfriend) was wearing a GCRB evening gown the other night.  With her long, blonde hair, she looked like a character on Y&R.

 

I'm just getting ready to watch today's episode because I may have gotten sidetracked watching I Wanna Marry Harry, about fake Prince Harry.  It was vastly more stupid than Y&R.

[peach]

double post

Thanks Peach!  I don't watch, but now I can imagine GCRB!

 

No problem.  I definitely want to give the full picture to those who aren't seeing it.  Glad you like the recaps!

Edited May 21, 2014 by peach

[peach]

Tue, May 20, 2014
Victoria’s back in town!  She and Billy  have a delightful, laughing reunion talking about the kids, until Billy says “that’s my boy” about Reed.  Then Victoria just shuts right down.  Billy charges on ahead talking about how great it was being full time daddy to Johnny and being at HOME and all.  Victoria just stares.

 

Stitch chats up Kelly at the gym.  He wants her to know he just wants her to be happy no matter what’s happened between them.  Jack overhears and looks super suspicious about the whole thing.  The wheels are turning extra hard.

 

Chloe comes bopping into the police department to see Kevin.  She’s wearing a cute little black shorts outfit with silver stripes running down it (I’m not making it sound very cute, you’ll just have to trust me).  She’s bubbly and joking and has brought documentation that her therapist says she’s doing okay.  Kevin gives her a look and flat out accuses of her of overcompensating for something.  He really knows her, doesn’t he?  He apologizes for Gloria being out of control at dinner the other night.  Chloe’s not worried about Gloria, she knows that Gloria thinks she’s just going to bring Kevin down, but honestly, all that is going to change soon.  She’s going to bring him down, rip out his heart, and chop it in little pieces.

 

Lauren comes to Chelsea’s for an apparent intervention for Chloe, which has been endorsed by Chloe’s psychiatrist.  Apparently nobody told Kevin.  Chelsea is wearing GCRB, and yes, it has Spiderman style webbing on it across the deep neckline.  Okay. I guess if you’re going to wear GCRB, then WEAR IT, sister.  She says if they’re going to do something about Chloe, they need to do it now.

 

Victoria tells Billy nothing has changed.  He goes on and on about how he doesn’t want to press her, BUT blahblah never felt more like a husband and father blah, and Vicky doesn’t want to hear any of it.  But who ever listens to Vicky?  No one, that’s who.  Billy gets a call from Chelsea about the intervention.  She’s like get your ass over here already, we need you.  Victoria says she didn’t realize he and Chelsea “had plans.”  Billy’s all happy about Victoria “giving a damn” about that, and it’s not those kind of plans, but he really can’t get into it right now.  Seriously?  He can’t tell her Chloe’s having a breakdown?  He leaves.  Vicky stares at Stitch’s number on her cell phone.

 

Jack asks Kelly and Stitch if he’s interrupting anything, and they’re both like NOPE, no, nothing to see here, Jack.  AND OMG, Stitch gets a text from Victoria!  She says she’s home and they’ll talk later.  “Later” for Stitch is like 15 minutes, so he rushes off.  Jacks asks Kelly to tell him the REAL story between her and Stitch.

 

Summer arrives at Avery’s and Austin/Dimples/Camera Man opens the door.  Summer is confused and says she’s looking for Avery.  “Join the club,” says Austin.

 

Kevin asks Chloe what’s changed with Chloe. Chloe is bursting at the seams with how whole she is and super wonderful great, and how they won’t have to stay married and they can be free blah blah blah.  Kevin’s happy that Chloe’s happy.  She runs off to go to a psych appointment, so she says.  Chelsea calls Kevin and says she needs to see him immediately about saving Chloe.

 

The cut on Chelsea’s dress is just very homemade.  Kevin arrives and wants to know what in the hell is going on, since Lauren, Michael, and even Esther are there.  Lauren pleads with Kevin about how brutal it’s been watching Chloe’s suffering, and they want to help her, etc, and he picks up that this is about sending Chloe to Fairview.  He is PISSED.  Over his dead body, he shouts.  Uh, if you get in the way of Chloe and her stolen sperm, that might be a possibility.

 

Meanwhile, Chloe’s internet must be down, because she has waylaid a nurse at the Cryogenic Lab to ask her some questions about artificial insemination.  She pretends she and her husband are going through the procedure, and her doctor only “speaks doctor” so she needs to talk to a real person, instead of just Googling it like everyone else.

 

Summer and Austin have a semi-flirty conversation about all the tough women in Avery’s family, including an awkward part about Summer’s mom being in a coma. There really is no graceful comeback to “my mom’s in a coma.”  He really is a cutie, too bad they have to make him a stalker.  Avery comes bustling in.  She has to get started on her show, but Summer wants to talk about her mom…and Jack.  And presumably Kelly.

 

Jack questions Kelly about how she and Stitch were close once, but had a falling out.  “Pretty much.”  But they still have a connection?  “Not really.”  Jack notices that answers like pretty much and not really are not wordy Kelly’s poetic style.  Jack fishes around asking if Stitch upsets her, and she turns it around and smiles and asks Jack if he’s being protective of her. Why, yes he is, would that be okay, he grins.  She says Stitch isn’t even on her radar.  They flirt and smile and she goes to see the property manager, Mr.  Hinkle (I once had a boss named Mr. Hinkle).  Jack calls said Mr. Hinkle to arrange something for him.

 

Stitch has made a beeline for Victoria’s door.  She says her text said they could talk LATER, and Stitch admits he “probably should have waited at least ten minutes.”  As usual, he just wants to check on her, because he’s the checkingest guy in town.  He asks about the nausea, and she’s like, just the food cart.  He asks about “any other symptoms?”  Symptoms?  Vicky goes on alert.  Stitch straight up tells her she was nauseous because she’s pregnant.  No, Stitch, no!  Vicky’s like holy shit. 

 

Avery tells Austin she needs a few more minutes so she can talk to Summer, because God forbid anyone ever tell Summer to wait for anything.  Austin turns into one snarky little bitch about waiting, and how she probably shouldn’t act like this when she’s on The Talk, but he’ll just go check the lights or something.  Avery’s very whatever about it, and if Summer needs to talk then the whole world will just shut right down, and they will talk. So Summer tells her that Jack’s dating, and she freaked out, and then gave her blessing, but she isn’t okay with it.  Avery thinks it’s okay if Jack does this, and maybe Summer will come around to it later.  Avery says that if Jack has feelings for someone, Summer couldn’t have stopped it anyway, because that’s not how feelings work.

 

Kelly gets to her new condo and a white rose is attached to the door.  Mr. Hinkle works fast.  She pushes open the door, and dang.  There is a picnic set up on the floor with bouquets of white roses here and there, and of course, Vivaldi on the violin.  Jack strolls in, and Kelly is thrilled.

 

Stitch tells Victoria he was worried about her having food poisoning or something, and freaking ADMITS he looked in her medical file.  NO, STITCH, NO!  Victoria’s eyes fill with tears.  “Are you kidding me??  You looked in my medical file????”  He’s like, yeah, I crossed a line, and I’m sorry.  Sorry?  She says she’s on every kind of board at the hospital and can have him fired by dinner!  This is a Newman you’re messing with, Stitch.  He’s like getting me fired doesn’t change that we had unprotected sex, and you’re pregnant, and she’s like SO WHAT, you can’t invade my privacy!  Stitch demands to know if this baby is his.  Well, I don’t know, Stitch, why don’t you jab a needle in her and see what you can find out?

 

Kevin is SCREAMING about how THIS is how they want to help Chloe?  Talking behind her back, setting up an ambush, etc?  Chelsea insists this is a show of love.  Esther says it won’t feel like love to Chloe.  So Chloe has two enablers.  Kevin asks if Chelsea even KNOWS her.  Lauren confronts Esther and says THIS is the time to be strong for Chloe and do what’s best for her.  Michael and Lauren talk Esther into supporting it.  But Kevin isn’t having it.  He says he’s her guardian and is therefore the only one with a vote, so Michael will have to take him to court.  He insists Chloe is getting better, because she has hope for the future.  Billy walks in and introduces Kevin to reality by telling him that Chloe’s future is about getting pregnant by Billy and having another Delia.  Kevin’s like, wait, WHAT?

 

Kelly and Jack get all romantic at their floor picnic.  They have a getting-to-know-you conversation.  Kelly does have internet access and says she stumbled across his net worth, ex-wives, various scandals, and an arrest or two!  He asks if it said anything about his undeniable charm or joie de vivre?  He asks if she has an exes or scandals he needs to know about.  Besides that whole one night stand that ruined Billy’s marriage, you mean?  Kelly says she’s very boring, but Jack doesn’t believe that for a minute.

 

Stitch begs Victoria to tell him if he’s the father.  She admits she doesn’t know, and that it could be Billy’s also.    She says the doctors told her she would never have another child.  She knows how much it would mean to Stitch, but think how much it would mean to Billy.  If the baby IS Stitch’s she says her marriage is over.  She wanted a baby so badly, and prayed for a miracle, and now she’s got it…and she just doesn’t…doesn’t know…and she falls to her knees crying.  Stitch comes over and gets down on his knees too, and gently comforts her, and it strikes me how she really barely knows this guy.  Poor Victoria.

 

Kevin says there is no way that’s what Chloe meant.  There is a lot of yelling while they try to get it through to Kevin that Chloe wants Billy’s… “genetic material” and was even willing to drug him to get it.  Kevin stops short…and he tells them about Gloria’s magic green drops, and everyone’s like, eww gross, and then it crashes in on Kevin that all this is true.  Billy says he understands grief and desperation, and Kevin snipes that nobody is calling Billy crazy.  Billy’s like, I’m not crazy.  I’m awful, destructive, and selfish.  But Chloe has created a whole world for herself that doesn’t make any sense.  Michael says if she can’t have Billy’s baby then what will she do next?  Kevin insists that Chloe said she could see her future.  Lauren suggests that if it doesn’t come true, she might hurt herself.  This is finally enough for Kevin to agree with them.  Chelsea calls Chloe and invites her over.  Chloe is happy that Chelsea really wants to be friends, and what a great day this is.  Chelsea fights back tears.

 

Michael gives everyone a pep talk about how they’re going to handle Chloe.  Chelsea feels like dirt having to lie to her.  She and Billy have a little heart to heart about Victoria, and he says he just has the feeling something is up with her. 

 

Victoria apologizes to Stitch for crying and dumping this on him, and for not having answers.  He doesn’t care about any of that of course.  He just wants to be there for her, whatever she needs.  She needs him not to tell anyone.  Especially not Billy. 

 

Kelly says her life was paint drying and grass growing.  Jack thinks there’s more.  Okay, well her dad died while she was in college.  So she rushed into a marriage she shouldn’t have.  And then there was Sam, and he was like the sun bursting through the clouds.  And then she lost him, and she lost her marriage afterward.  She apologizes for her sad story.  Jack says the past is what makes us who we are.  She’d rather start thinking about the future.  So they kiss.

 

Summer wants to stay and watch Avery film her dumb cooking show.  Avery asks her to help prep stuff for the show to save time.  Austin is getting over his snit because Avery’s trending by being on The Talk and she hasn’t even appeared yet!  Then he makes a face and puts his phone away, getting Avery to insist he show her what it says.  She frowns.  Summer has to explain what a stan is (stalker fan).  It’s 4MJ again, “So you’re going on The Talk today.  Guess there’s some things you won’t share with the world."  Avery hopes this one gets bored and goes away.  The main thing is they told us three times she’s going on The Talk.

 

Kelly and Jack make out on the pillows.  The music turns to some fiddlin’ even though Jack gave him a C note.  Kelly likes it anyway because it’s happy, and I guess because they’re fiddlin’ around.  ;D

 

Stitch promises he won’t tell anyone about Victoria’s pregnancy.  She asks if he’s mad she didn’t tell him.  He says well are you mad I dug into your personal life?  She says she doesn’t have the energy to be mad because she’s too busy being completely freaked out.  Then she freaks out some more about the whole giant mess.  Stitch sweetly tells her to remember that this is still her miracle.  He says she can get through this and it will be okay, and he’ll be there for her, whatever she needs.  He hugs her and she cries.

 

Chelsea says Billy needs to give Victoria time to find the words to tell him whatever it is she needs to tell him, and be the husband she deserves.  They both agree that this whole Chloe thing is going to be a bummer.  Chloe walks up to the door, which is even flimsier than a GCAC door, because she can hear Esther, of course, talking about the IN-TER-VENTION.  She listens to Kevin, Billy, and Chelsea discuss how they have to send her to Fairview because who knows what she’ll do next.  So, naturally, Chloe runs away.

 

Is this how it’s going to end for Chloe?  Will she just run away and disappear??  Find out tomorrow, or probably another day!

[bayviewbubba]

GCRB= Genoa City Royal Blue

Ian thinks it would look good on him.

[LeftPhalange]

 

Stitch demands to know if this baby is his.  Well, I don’t know, Stitch, why don’t you jab a needle in her and see what you can find out?

 

I'm calling it now. At some point Stitch will change the results of the paternity test and everyone will think he's the father. 

 

 

If the baby IS Stitch’s she says her marriage is over.  She wanted a baby so badly, and prayed for a miracle, and now she’s got it…and she just doesn’t…doesn’t know…and she falls to her knees crying.  Stitch comes over and gets down on his knees too, and gently comforts her, and it strikes me how she really barely knows this guy.  Poor Victoria.

 

Vikki is devastated because she's finally getting her miracle baby and Stitch might be the father instead of Billy. That should tell Stitch everything he needs to know but of course he's not going to take the hint. He's probably going to be hounding her more than ever now.  

 

 

Chelsea calls Chloe and invites her over.  Chloe is happy that Chelsea really wants to be friends, and what a great day this is.  Chelsea fights back tears.

 

This is a terrible and humiliating exit story for Chloe. 

[peacheslatour]

 

Can someone explain GCRB?

Genoa City Royal Blue.  It seems they were able to purchase several bolts of this fabric at a super duper discount and now all garments are made from it.  At least that's one theory :)

[peach]

Wed, May 21, 2014
Michael and Lauren are at the police station.  Chloe’s missing and skipped her psych appointment, which is a probation violation. Michael is required to report it to Paul, but Kevin begs Michael to let him try to find her first.  Paul wants to get home to Cricket, plus it’s his birthday, and they kind of owe him a visit home, so Michael gives Kevin one very slim chance to find Chloe before she ends up arrested.

 

Ian sends a parfait glass of sorbet to Nikki’s table at the club.  She tells him to “TAKE your sorbet and…go to another table.”  That’s it?  That’s her line?  Ian wants to celebrate together because his case has been dismissed for no damn reason whatsoever.  So he’s going to be running amok in GC, and hopes he and Nikki can be friends again.  I would at least eat that sorbet, because it looks delicious.

 

Avery is shooting her dumb cooking show.  Dylan blunders through the door, ruining the shoot, which isn’t really his fault since they have NO SIGN ON THE DOOR, and they are filming in an APARTMENT.  Dylan says to pretend he isn’t there, and Austin says that would be a lot easier if he WEREN’T there.  Summer mentions another creepy fan message, and Dylan stands in front of the camera to confront Avery for not telling him Ian is bothering her again.  Dylan clearly does not respect the artistic process.

 

Nikki has to inform Ian again that they are NOT friends, and they debate his truth vs. her truth.  He is disheartened by her attitude, especially after sending her dessert.  But he is willing to forgive her, lol, for trying to send him to prison.  He really knows how to rile a girl up.  She goes off on him for how ridiculous he is being (on purpose), and Victor comes charging in.  “Didn’t I tell you to stay away from my family?”

 

Kevin becomes the poster child for codependency as he fully expects Michael to risk his law license covering for Kevin’s wife-in-name-only.  Michael tells him the therapist is going to file a report no matter what.  Kevin’s sure he can find Chloe and convince her they are just helping her.  He refuses to even listen to Lauren talk about the crazy baby plan involving Billy, and blames himself for all of it.  Did I mention the codependency?  He wants to take his giant, misplaced sense of responsibility and find her, only he can’t actually find her.  Lauren says she would go to the last place where she was really happy.  Has Chloe ever been really happy?

 

Dylan and Avery argue about 4MJ and whether or not it’s Ian.  Avery isn’t going to let it affect the show.  Austin’s like, yo, THIS IS affecting the show.  He asks Dylan if he can play the overprotective boyfriend AFTER they’re done?  Dylan stares at Austin with blood in his eye, while Avery hilariously tries to shake her head and make the “cut” sign behind Dylan’s back.  We don’t say that to Dylan…  He storms out, and Austin is all like, are you people serious?

 

Cricket lights candles and adjusts champagne in her bedroom, like this is the first time for them or something.  “Now all that’s missing is the birthday boy.”

 

The birthday boy has stopped at the club for some reason and witnesses the altercation between Ian and Victor.  Victor says not to approach his wife again, and Ian says he can approach anyone he likes.  Victor threatens him, and Ian chuckles and says they’re both too sophisticated for that.  “You think I’m sophisticated?” Victor growls.  “I’m a lot more primitive than you think.”  His henchmen will cut a bitch, Ian.  Paul interrupts them, and Ian claims Victor accosted him.  Well, okay, he accosted him VERBALLY.   Ian says he won’t press charges this time, like misdemeanor verbal accostation is a thing.  He says he wants them to coexist peacefully and Victor smiles and says, “ain’t gonna happen.”  Ian leaves, and Paul gives Victor the stern teacher stare, but Victor kind of looks like he’s enjoying himself.  He must be bored lately, now that the Fake Cassie thing is over.

 

Avery wants us to always use fresh lemon juice in our baking.  Something startles her, and she spills a teaspoon of juice on her silky business blouse that only an idiot would wear while cooking.  Well, dammit, they have to stop again because of this interruption.  Austin tells her to change.  Summer chats him up about how filming works.  He would totally love to show her an editing session.  I bet.  He says normally they cut out the mistakes, but with Avery they wouldn’t have any footage left.  Summer giggles and tosses her hair around.  Avery comes out in a SNOW WHITE SHIRT this time, and tells Austin if HE would focus, they could get this done.  You know what, super professional Avery can’t even do this right now, because she needs to go talk to Dylan.  Kevin will be outdone in the selfish codependency department, because her relationship with Dylan comes first, and if the producers don’t like it, they can find a new host.  She leaves.  Summer and Austin stare at each other, like, that was kinda cray.

 

Dylan studies the stupid internet comment, like that’s going to accomplish something.  Ian bustles in the coffee shop with the great news that the extortion charges have been dropped, and he can enjoy the coffee of his son’s company in this fine establishment blahblahblah, and this many syllables is bringing out Dylan’s rage face.  I’m not sure how he can get to the end of this episode without killing someone.

 

Paul comforts Nikki about Ian not going to trial.  Cricket comes downstairs and watches.  I guess she was in a hotel room upstairs instead of at home.  Blah blah blah don’t engage with Ian Ward.  Victor looks at Paul like he’s the village idiot.

 

Michael frets at the police station.  Lauren says Kevin will take Chloe to Fairview.  Michael’s like yeah, right.  Lauren is sure that Kevin has to get it this time, but Michael says he’s out trying to save her right now.  He thinks it would be easier for Kevin if the police caught her, and it would be out of his hands.

 

Kevin finds Chloe at a movie theater where she’s been to watch an old John Hughes film.  What do you think it was? Weird Science? She and Kevin had gone to see this movie the night Delia died.  She would give anything to relive that night, because her life was perfect.  She had Delia, and she wasn’t crazy.

 

and Dylan argue about, well, Ian.  Dylan tells him he’s not bulletproof.  Avery walks in, and Ian tells her to warn him about this kind of threat.  Ian can’t believe Dylan gives him such a hard time instead of his mother, who gave him away.  Avery tells him to go away.  Ian digs on Dylan for his “anger issues” and says he must get it from his mother.  He leaves, and Dylan smashes some glass.  He says he won’t feel better until that bastard is gone for good.

 

Nikki is all stressed out and shaking at the club.  Victor brings her water and comforts her.  Of course he wants her to come home, and says [his] her stubbornness is bad for her health.  Is she just trying to prove a point?  So what if she is, she says.  Well…in this case, he might be right.  Go home til Ian is, uh, neutralized.  But Nikki says she’s not ready to forgive and forget what Victor’s done, so she’s going to stay at the club.  Well, she can do that, and he’s going to do what HE has to do.  She tells him not to go after Ian Ward.

 

Cricket is so not turned on by Paul’s blathering about Ian and the Newmans.  Blah blah blah.  She finally gets his attention.  She feels like Nikki is a third person in their marriage because he’s always doing something for her like tracking down her son or pulling strings on Ian, and Paul responds by TALKING ABOUT NIKKI some more.  She finally gets him to SHUT UP and focus and kiss her.

 

Chloe remembers the exact moment Billy told her about Delia, and there was a loud snap when her heart broke, and her head, and her soul.  She just wanted one more…everything.  That’s why she asked Billy for…another Delia, and why she took Connor.  Kevin blames himself for her not getting to say goodbye to her because they were at that movie, and because Kevin has a huge blaming himself problem.  He says there is still something they can do for her.

 

Avery asks Dylan why he gives Ian the satisfaction.  He asks why she’s there instead of at her shoot.  Well, because Dylan is super important and can’t be unattended for five minutes, and her contractual obligations are just a hobby.  But Dylan tells Avery SHE is super important which is why she’s going on The Talk tomorrow.  The TALK, you guys.  Did you know she was going on THE TALK?

 

Austin is really playing Summer, IMO, and asks if they’ve ever met.  There’s something about her face.  Summer acts really confused, and then eventually admits that, well, she WAS the “face of Jabot.”  Yeah, people might occasionally recognize you, then.  She says she stopped modeling because she was burned out from all that work, which I guess so, since it’s way more work than anyone else seems to do.  He says that’s a shame because she’s so beautiful.  Summer, the ex-professional model, acts like a bashful nerd who has never been told this before.  She tells him she ended up in the hospital from [drugs] working so hard, because she tries to keep her mind off her mom in a coma.  She cries and says she really needs her to wake up soon.  Austin gives her tissues.  They discuss the coma.  He says he understands, and she says thanks, but no one understands.  He sits down with her and says he really does understand, because he lost his own mother unexpectedly a few years ago.  And he’s really cute, so they bond.

 

Lauren insists to Michael that Kevin knows what’s right.  “Knowing what’s right has never kept my brother from breaking every law in the book.”  Unlike, say, Michael.  He worries because Kevin has a good job now and stays out of trouble, and he doesn’t want him to ruin it all because he can’t give up on Chloe.  Lauren reminds him that he never gave up on her, even when she gave him lots of reasons to.  He can’t really argue with that one.  She’s his life.  That’s Lauren’s point.

 

Chloe asks Kevin why he would even want to save her since she’s been so awful to him.  He says because she’s been in hell since Delia died.  He knows deep down she’s the same woman he fell in love with, and nothing will ever make him stop caring.  She sincerely apologizes for treating him like crap, and thanks him for everything he’s done for her.  He tries to bring up Fairview,but she keeps talking about how HE is her CONSTANT, the ONLY ONE who really cares, who gets it, who helps her.  He says that’s where he went wrong, trying to take care of her instead of letting her go to Fairview.  He says, “But you’re not getting better, are you?”  She cries, and he holds her, and she says, “No.  I’m not.” 

 

Paul and Cricket love scene.

 

Summer asks what happened to Austin’s mom.  “One day she was here, and the next she wasn’t.”  Hmm, not a lot of detail.  He says at least there’s some chance her mom can come back.  But Summer says no one else thinks so, and her dad is dating.  She talks about Phyllis.  He understands.  He saved a voice mail of his mom’s and still listens to it sometimes so he doesn’t forget her voice.  He takes her hand, and then they hug.  Avery comes in the door and looks very disapproving.

 

Dylan sees Nikki at the club and they discuss what an irritating snake Ian is.  She complains that Paul  says their hands are tied.  Dylan says maybe not.  But he promises Nikki that he won’t confront Ian, which is a very specific promise.  Nikki wishes Victor would have made the same promise.

 

A burly henchman is dragging Ian into an alley.  SCARY MUSIC!  Only this time…it’s for Victor.

 

Paul and Cricket love scene aftermath.  She brings him a piece of birthday cake, and they wish for a baby together.

 

Chloe cries and says maybe it really is time for her to get some real help.  Kevin says he will still be her constant and to never ever doubt that.  It gets really sad.  :-(  She wishes she could love Kevin but doesn’t think she can love at all anymore.  Love hurts too much.  He says she doesn’t have to be scared anymore, because they’re going to get her the help she needs.  Poor Chloe.

 

Austin tells Avery not to worry about the shoot anymore, he can piece together a segment.  Summer says she’ll watch Avery on THE TALK TOMORROW, and she leaves.  Austin tries to leave, but Avery wants to lecture him first about Summer, and not leading her on or breaking her heart.  He has a GIRLFRIEND, remember?  Well, something Austin is not, is a liar and a cheat, he says pointedly.  He already broke up with his girlfriend, so there.  Avery’s like, oh.  Well, leave Summer alone anyway.  He leaves.  Avery seems to think this is all kind of weird.

 

Dylan tells an unknown person on the phone that he’s changed his mind, and is willing to pay for any information that could put Ian away.  I guess it’s it’s Ian’s ex-wife.

 

Ian tells Victor he’s making big trouble for himself, and he’ll fight him every step of the way.  “You’re a slimeball,” says Victor.  “This is one fight you won’t win.”

[bayviewbubba]

Anybody else think maybe Austin killed his mom?

Edited May 22, 2014 by bayviewbubba

[peach]

Anybody else think maybe Austin killed his mom?

I think he might be making it up.  But my personal theory is he blames Avery for something that happened to his mother, like maybe one of her innocent clients killed her or something.

[PatsyandEddie]

Victor calling anyone a slimeball is pretty hilarious. So did the henchman hold Ian still so that Victor could beat on him? 

 

GR and EH were terrific together. IMO, their scene was the best in the episode.

 

Thanks peach! A great read as always!!

[Joimiaroxeu]

she spills a teaspoon of juice on her silky business blouse that only an idiot would wear while cooking.

Doesn't anyone wear aprons anymore? I'm sure they could find one that still shows off Avery's ample boobage.

 

Cricket comes downstairs and watches. 

What was that all about? Was GC's District Attorney planning to flounce around the GCAC lobby in just a thin robe and her underwear? How did she even know Paul was down there?

 

He says he won’t feel better until that bastard is gone for good.

Yeah, looks like they're setting Dylan up to be the #1 suspect when Ian is found dead. Of course he'll be innocent but he'll know who the real culprit is: his newfound mommy who he must protect even if it means getting life in prison!

 

Paul and Cricket love scene.

Whose nausea-inducing ability is surpassed only by a Neil and Hilary love scene. Not a fan of the moobs, sorry.

 

She brings him a piece of birthday cake, and they wish for a baby together.

Oh that poor kid if it turns out Cricket actually conceived on Paul's birthday; he/she will never hear the end of it. I once worked with someone whose first name was a particular greeting card holiday because that was the day they were conceived. Dr. Freud, please pick up the white paging phone...

 

Anybody else think maybe Austin killed his mom?

Yup. "On minute she was standing on the edge of a volcano, and the next she wasn't. Oops."

[peach]

What was that all about? Was GC's District Attorney planning to flounce around the GCAC lobby in just a thin robe and her underwear? How did she even know Paul was down there?

IKR?  That was totally weird.  It was late last night, and I was rushing through, honestly, and in the back of my mind, I was thinking I guess that's a gray dress.  But then it really turned out to be her robe.  In the lobby.  Of the GCAC.  At dinner.  GIVE THIS WOMAN A BABY, NOW!

[peacheslatour]

 

Cricket lights candles and adjusts champagne in her bedroom,

And then she gets into her car and drives to the GCAC in her robe because she totally knew Paul would be there and waltz's in and ... and ... WTF?