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Sex And The City - General Discussion


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The HBO sequel series, And Just Like That, has its own forum here.

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5 hours ago, qtpye said:

 

I think at the beginning, Big liked Carrie but definitely did not think she was wife material, probably because he had some sexist views on that sort of thing (which would be totally realistic for the type of guy he was).

It was not because she was wild/carefree like Barbara Streisand in The Way We Were...it was more to do with he simply did not think she was good enough.

He saw classically pretty and effortlessly elegant Natasha who was everything that he wanted on paper. He probably did pursue and purpose pretty quickly because he could not let this one "getaway".

Unfortunately, he ultimately got bored with classy and low drama Natasha.

I think in a perfect world (for him) he would have had Natasha as the wife and Carrie as the mistress but luckily neither woman went for this.

As he got older, I think he started to care less about what people thought of the woman on his arm and just wanted to go for the woman he most enjoys being with...which was Carrie.

Agreed. Do you remember the episode Carrie runs into a man she knows at a hidden away restaurant? He specifically chooses the place because he thinks the woman he's with isn't attractive enough to be seen with him? Carrie wondered if Big was trying to hide her by taking her to the same place. 

 

18 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I also thought that Big's issues with commitment, unless it was with a pretty 25 year old, were also incredibly realistic.  I think the show definitely did explore that stuff.  Carrie slept with Big immediately and then regretted it, because she knew how men usually behave when that happens.  Perhaps Natasha played hard to get like Charlotte pretends she does.

Carrie totally represented all women in that way. Even the more  "classically pretty" women know there are prettier women out there. Younger women know we all get older, and your young enough by anyone's standards time frame is super short (18-25). It's such a woman thing to worry about being good enough in terms of your looks and age. Even the Natashas of the world know the feeling. Charlotte wasn't entirely pretending. lol 

Edited by RealHousewife
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I don't think Big wanted to hide Carrie.  He took her to that party with the woman who doesn't drink brown liquor.  He just didn't want to be entirely committed to her.  I think there is some truth that when he pictured his future wife, it wasn't Carrie, so in that way, she wasn't "good" enough for him.  It's sad.

25 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Charlotte wasn't entirely pretending. lol 

Charlotte was incredibly easy sometimes.  She professed to being a Rules girl but she often didn't follow them.

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1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I don't think Big wanted to hide Carrie.  He took her to that party with the woman who doesn't drink brown liquor.  He just didn't want to be entirely committed to her.  I think there is some truth that when he pictured his future wife, it wasn't Carrie, so in that way, she wasn't "good" enough for him.  It's sad.

Charlotte was incredibly easy sometimes.  She professed to being a Rules girl but she often didn't follow them.

He didn't. When Carrie asked him why they kept going to that place, Big quickly answered he loved the food. Agree with you about the rest regarding Carrie.

I know Charlotte could be easy, but she was still choosier than the other girls, especially Samantha and Miranda. Charlotte wasn't someone who could usually be picked up super easily or would have married anyone. (There are exceptions obviously, like when she hooked up with the groomsman she just met.) Even when Charlotte realized life wasn't about what everything looked like, she was still picky. Harry may not have Trey's looks, but he was a successful lawyer. I don't think it mattered how nice or how attractive they could be, Charlotte wouldn't want to be with a struggling young actor or a bartender. 

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1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I don't think Big wanted to hide Carrie.  He took her to that party with the woman who doesn't drink brown liquor.  He just didn't want to be entirely committed to her.  I think there is some truth that when he pictured his future wife, it wasn't Carrie, so in that way, she wasn't "good" enough for him.  It's sad.

And it had nothing to do with wanting to see other women. I do think Big liked having her around but in his mind he was keeping his options open. Which is exactly what happened when he went to Paris and met Natasha.

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6 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

And it had nothing to do with wanting to see other women. I do think Big liked having her around but in his mind he was keeping his options open. Which is exactly what happened when he went to Paris and met Natasha.

No, he was specifically seeing other women in Season 1.   Remember?  Carrie was head over heels for him and then caught him on a date.  And then it came out that Big was seeing other women and honestly had no idea Carrie would have an issue with it.

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I kinda long for the SATC days in some ways. I'm not against dating apps, influencers, social media, but life was more romantic then. There's something about meeting people organically. There was more prestige and glamour when it came to writing, celebrity, acting, modeling. When you met a guy for a first date, there was always mystery. Single 2021 Carrie would totally online stalk a man she was interested in. She'd know everything about him before the first date. There's something super comforting about a loved one being a text away, but I think it has made us all lazy about meeting up. I know I sound like such an old lady, but I have a love-hate with modern technology. 

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(edited)
4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I kinda long for the SATC days in some ways. I'm not against dating apps, influencers, social media, but life was more romantic then. There's something about meeting people organically. There was more prestige and glamour when it came to writing, celebrity, acting, modeling. When you met a guy for a first date, there was always mystery. Single 2021 Carrie would totally online stalk a man she was interested in. She'd know everything about him before the first date. There's something super comforting about a loved one being a text away, but I think it has made us all lazy about meeting up. I know I sound like such an old lady, but I have a love-hate with modern technology. 

Yes, it has been proven that the apps keep you single in order to stay in business but they make things very easy with little investment on your part. The pandemic was the icing on the cake in making sure people really do not meet face to face.

I remember when online dating had just become a thing and it was the height of embarrassment if you met someone that way ( which probably was not right, either). Shows around that time like “How I Met Your Mother” talked about how if you met someone online, you never admitted that’s how you met.

It is crazy how the dating world has changed in the relatively short period of time Carrie and her crew were on the scene.

Edited by qtpye
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14 hours ago, qtpye said:

Yes, it has been proven that the apps keep you single in order to stay in business but they make things very easy with little investment on your part. The pandemic was the icing on the cake in making sure people really do not meet face to face.

I remember when online dating had just become a thing and it was the height of embarrassment if you met someone that way ( which probably was not right, either). Shows around that time like “How I Met Your Mother” talked about how if you met someone online, you never admitted that’s how you met.

It is crazy how the dating world has changed in the relatively short period of time Carrie and her crew were on the scene.

I remember those days too. I think part of that has stuck with me tbh. I know lots of super nice people on the apps, physically attractive people, super successful folks. Although I genuinely prefer meeting people in person, I'm also scared of the "desperate" label. 

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15 hours ago, qtpye said:

Yes, it has been proven that the apps keep you single in order to stay in business but they make things very easy with little investment on your part.

I once joined EHarmony.  Their prices went from three months to a year.  Why pay for a year?  You would be thinking it will take you that long to meet someone.

38 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I saw this. If Big is part of the reboot why is Aidan there? Also I have yet to see anything about Harry being part of the show.  Charlotte better still have her happily ever after.

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12 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

The show wasn't really left alone with 2 movies after it!  LOL.

Yeah, but...different genres? LOL! Easy to ignore, at least for me. This TV reboot is more of an equivalent situation, so I think it still could mar the original series...

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9 hours ago, ifionlyknew said:

I once joined EHarmony.  Their prices went from three months to a year.  Why pay for a year?  You would be thinking it will take you that long to meet someone.

I saw this. If Big is part of the reboot why is Aidan there? Also I have yet to see anything about Harry being part of the show.  Charlotte better still have her happily ever after.

I've heard the sites where you pay have a higher quality pool of people, but yes that's strange. If I get on a site or app I'd still avoid something that requires that much of a commitment. The whole point of going this route for many people is to quickly meet someone. 

I liked Aidan but don't get why he'd be there either. I want Charlotte to have her happily ever after too. 

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(edited)

They've started airing the show from the beginning on HBO here in Canada.

It's really crazy how ahead of its time this show was in 1998.  The themes are so relevant to today.  Credit goes to Candace Bushnell, because the pilot's script is very very very close to the book, but still.

It's too bad that the pilot makes Samantha looks so pathetic.  I don't know if I buy that Big would blow off Samantha the way that he did.

Charlotte's lovely dress from the pilot:

188594988_488434139136357_5946471472012340310_n-2.jpg

190794897_176791947779193_1432572173598093988_n-2.jpg

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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On 5/21/2021 at 1:37 PM, RealHousewife said:

I remember those days too. I think part of that has stuck with me tbh. I know lots of super nice people on the apps, physically attractive people, super successful folks. Although I genuinely prefer meeting people in person, I'm also scared of the "desperate" label. 

By the time I got out of college, online dating had lost its taboo, but I’ve always seen it purely as an introduction service- especially as you get out of school. Meeting people in the workplace is always a bad idea, and usually as you get older your social circle becomes smaller, if you weren’t going to be with anyone already in your circle you aren’t likely to meet someone that way after 25. Online dating makes it really easy to filter by religion, ethnic group, education level etc to find people also looking for the same things you are.

I would love to see how someone over 50 navigated online dating. It would be fascinating. Not that I think people over 50 don’t date- but you don’t see that depicted in the media AT ALL. 
 

The reboot could handle that in a really comical, yet authentic way if it went there. The only way this revival is going to have legs is if they make it relevant while giving us the friendships we all know and love. 
 

Okay I’m watching Serendipity to prep for a podcast and I didn’t know John Corbett (Aidan) was in it!

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(edited)
6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

By the time I got out of college, online dating had lost its taboo, but I’ve always seen it purely as an introduction service- especially as you get out of school. Meeting people in the workplace is always a bad idea, and usually as you get older your social circle becomes smaller, if you weren’t going to be with anyone already in your circle you aren’t likely to meet someone that way after 25. Online dating makes it really easy to filter by religion, ethnic group, education level etc to find people also looking for the same things you are.

I would love to see how someone over 50 navigated online dating. It would be fascinating. Not that I think people over 50 don’t date- but you don’t see that depicted in the media AT ALL. 
 

The reboot could handle that in a really comical, yet authentic way if it went there. The only way this revival is going to have legs is if they make it relevant while giving us the friendships we all know and love. 
 

Okay I’m watching Serendipity to prep for a podcast and I didn’t know John Corbett (Aidan) was in it!

Yes, it seems like for years now it's almost strange to not be on an app. Some people even say it's PREFERABLE for people who are physically good-looking because your pictures are the primary factor someone would show interest in you. 

I don't find apps the most organic, but I totally get the appeal. I agree dating someone at work is a bad idea. If you're out of school, a very busy person who doesn't have time to go out to different places, someone who's too shy for clubs and bars, apps seem like the practical idea. My romantic side isn't into it, but my practical side loves the idea of Zillow for dating! This person's too old. This person's too young. This person smokes. Hmm, maybe I should check this one out? Might go off the market quickly!

I loved Serendipity, but it's been so long since I've watched it. I need to record it. 

Edited by RealHousewife
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15 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

By the time I got out of college, online dating had lost its taboo, but I’ve always seen it purely as an introduction service- especially as you get out of school. Meeting people in the workplace is always a bad idea, and usually as you get older your social circle becomes smaller, if you weren’t going to be with anyone already in your circle you aren’t likely to meet someone that way after 25. Online dating makes it really easy to filter by religion, ethnic group, education level etc to find people also looking for the same things you are.

I would love to see how someone over 50 navigated online dating. It would be fascinating. Not that I think people over 50 don’t date- but you don’t see that depicted in the media AT ALL. 
 

The reboot could handle that in a really comical, yet authentic way if it went there. The only way this revival is going to have legs is if they make it relevant while giving us the friendships we all know and love. 
 

Okay I’m watching Serendipity to prep for a podcast and I didn’t know John Corbett (Aidan) was in it!

I did some online dating after my divorce. Only resulted in one person that I dated for about 8 months. Then I met my now husband in a local area chat room. Turns out he lived not far from where I grew up and I was friends with his High School best friend several years after graduation. And to top it off, his sister in law went to my high school. 

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18 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Okay I’m watching Serendipity to prep for a podcast and I didn’t know John Corbett (Aidan) was in it!

He's also the Dad in the "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" trilogy and they reference Serendipity in the third movie also.

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1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

He's also the Dad in the "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" trilogy and they reference Serendipity in the third movie also.

Yes I knew he was in that, I loved those movies.

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The only one I could see using a dating app would be Miranda.  And she would approach it practically.  The site I used you could have it set up that only men who fit your criteria could message you.  For me it was a certain age range, non smoker, within 50 miles of my zip code.  

12 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Some people even say it's PREFERABLE for people who are physically good-looking because your pictures are the primary factor someone would show interest in you. 

This is true.  The picture is the first thing you notice. If you don't find the person attractive you are unlikely to click on their profile. 


There is a lot of comedy available if the show does a dating app plot.  Someone could be catfished.  Trying to find the perfect selfie to post.  Being matched with an ex.  One of my favorite movies Must Love Dogs Diane Lane matched with her elderly dad.

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41 minutes ago, ifionlyknew said:

The only one I could see using a dating app would be Miranda.  And she would approach it practically.  The site I used you could have it set up that only men who fit your criteria could message you.  For me it was a certain age range, non smoker, within 50 miles of my zip code.  

This is true.  The picture is the first thing you notice. If you don't find the person attractive you are unlikely to click on their profile. 


There is a lot of comedy available if the show does a dating app plot.  Someone could be catfished.  Trying to find the perfect selfie to post.  Being matched with an ex.  One of my favorite movies Must Love Dogs Diane Lane matched with her elderly dad.

I definitely see Miranda as the most likely to use an app. I could absolutely see a young Samantha on Twitter though, and possibly a young Charlotte on one that was more exclusive-like only well-to-do men. 

Filters can be a bit tricky. I might say I don't want someone more than 10 years older, but if someone is perfect otherwise and 11 years older, I wouldn't care. I strongly prefer men without children, but if he has one grown kid and wants to have more, I'd be down. I'm with ya on the smoking. It's gross, unhealthy, and way too many nonsmokers out there for me to be with a smoker. 

This YouTuber Anna Bey made a video "Top 5 Dating Lessons from Charlotte York." She thought Charlotte had the best dating strategies. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cFKu6qhOXI

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(edited)

In "Secret Sex", Miranda dates a guy named Ted who lets him hang at her house while he goes off to work (FIRST DATE!).  Miranda GOES THROUGH HIS PRIVATE SHIT, WATCHES HIS PORN, and INVITES CARRIE OVER TO WATCH IT!

Then she tries to bring up his spanking kink with him out on the street.

Is she insane?!  This storyline makes me cringe so hard I can't even bear to rewatch it!

In the next episode "The Monogamists", Miranda calls Carrie before work and then says "I can't talk now.  Call ya later."  LOL.  

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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On 5/19/2021 at 4:50 PM, Ms Blue Jay said:

No, he was specifically seeing other women in Season 1.   Remember?  Carrie was head over heels for him and then caught him on a date.  And then it came out that Big was seeing other women and honestly had no idea Carrie would have an issue with it.

If anyone wants to rewatch this one I'm watching it now, it's "The Monogamists".  It's kind of sad because the episode before this one, this happens:

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CARRIE: So, you and me, then maybe this is for real?

MR. BIG: (Mr. B pulls her in.) Could be. (They kiss. Mr. B picks her up and pulls her to the bedroom)

And then at the beginning of "The Monogamists" Carrie talks about being totally infatuated with Big :( 

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(edited)

I hate to say this but Miranda just keeps annoying me in Season 1.  She calls Skipper after dumping him just because she sees him with someone else.  And of course he's all excited because he's in love with her and thinks that they'll have a real relationship.  She says no of course.  She also calls a couple who wants to have a threesome and then lies to them saying she'll be right back and then ditches them.  All of this just to get her own validation.  🙄

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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33 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I hate to say this but Miranda just keeps annoying me in Season 1.  She calls Skipper after dumping him just because she sees him with someone else.  And of course he's all excited because he's in love with her and thinks that they'll have a real relationship.  She says no of course.  She also calls a couple who wants to have a threesome and then lies to them saying she'll be right back and then ditches them.  All of this just to get her own validation.  🙄

This was one of Miranda's most awful moments...I do know people who do that in real life. They are not interested in someone until some else is and then they play mind games for their own ego, not because they actually care about the person.

Though Skipper was the worst, dumping a woman in his bed literally the moment Miranda calls.

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It was also weird in "The Monogamists" that Big was seeing other women but then when Carrie called him and said she was hanging out with (Justin Theroux's character #1) Jared, he said "Just get over here."  LOL why should she?  And why can you see other people but Carrie can't?

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1 minute ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

It was also weird in "The Monogamists" that Big was seeing other women but then when Carrie called him and said she was hanging out with (Justin Theroux's character #1) Jared, he said "Just get over here."  LOL why should she?  And why can you see other people but Carrie can't?

Big has always seemed most possessive and desirous of Carrie in the moments where she is involved with other men. In the beginning, it almost felt like Carrie was his "Skipper".

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1 minute ago, qtpye said:

Big has always seemed most possessive and desirous of Carrie in the moments where she is involved with other men. In the beginning, it almost felt like Carrie was his "Skipper".

Totally!  The younger, doting admirer that would do anything for him and had stars in her eyes.

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(edited)

Anyone else think they were ALL awful daters? Maybe Sam shouldn't count since she wasn't looking for anything serious, but I wouldn't go to any of them for dating advice. 

Carrie would stalk, be pushy, cheat, throw the man she cheated with in the face of the partner who forgave her. Just the worst. 

Miranda could be crazy and immature too. See the posts above by @Ms Blue Jay. She's a good woman, attractive and successful, but she lacked in charm, bless her heart. 

Charlotte was charming like Carrie, but she was also whiny, immature and pushy, and came across the most desperate of all. That's never cute, even if she was "pretty, smart, a catch."

Edited by RealHousewife
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On 5/28/2021 at 5:10 PM, qtpye said:

Big has always seemed most possessive and desirous of Carrie in the moments where she is involved with other men. In the beginning, it almost felt like Carrie was his "Skipper".

This was a consistent thing- even in season 6 when Carrie was with Alexander and Big all of a sudden knew she was “the one”. After six years of back and forth with her, always available when Carrie was with someone else, but not when she was asking him to commit to her. 
 

This is why I will never even understand why Carrie wanted Big after all that. The first break up I can understand, but after the second and he went to Paris, she should’ve stopped entertaining that mess. Much less when he married Natasha and was flirting with Carrie.

For the record Miranda was rude to Skipper for sure- she didn’t even want him she just wanted the attention he paid her. 

On 5/28/2021 at 6:03 PM, Ms Blue Jay said:

When Carrie had sex with Big on the first date, I noticed that Charlotte got REALLY whiny with her.  

Yeah because to Charlotte, Carrie had broken a “rule” and if you do that you’re never going to find love. Never mind that Charlotte had been following the rules and was still single too. 
 

I thought we did see Charlotte and Miranda mature a lot throughout the series. They ended up being better daters as the years went on I think. 

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5 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yeah because to Charlotte, Carrie had broken a “rule” and if you do that you’re never going to find love. Never mind that Charlotte had been following the rules and was still single too. 
 

I thought we did see Charlotte and Miranda mature a lot throughout the series. They ended up being better daters as the years went on I think. 

Charlotte matured the most imo. I think for years Charlotte pictured herself married to a proper pretty boy, almost a male version of herself and having kids who were mini versions. She still had high standards later on. Harry was a sweet, successful man she had chemistry with. But she realized she didn't need arm candy in a husband. Little quirks weren't dealbreakers. She wasn't focused on what another person was lacking and was open to changing herself. She didn't care if her children were biologically hers or not. She just wanted to be a mom and have babies to raise and love. She was ultimately very lucky to find her Prince Charming in Harry and have two adorable little girls, but Charlotte in earlier SATC seasons would have dismissed Harry for one goofy reason or another. They wrote her as being pretty shallow early on. In the latter seasons, things that are dealbreakers even for people who aren't super picky weren't dealbreakers for Charlotte. It's quite something the same woman who didn't want to be with someone over a china pattern ended up converting to another religion for marriage

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(edited)
16 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

 They wrote her as being pretty shallow early on.

LOL, yes, I just watched a Season 1 episode where she dumped a guy for liking a different set of china than she did.  (Oh sorry, just saw that you mentioned this.)

But then in Season 6 she and Carrie are discussing what they don't like about guys and she says something like  "But none of that matters when you love someone."

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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23 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

LOL, yes, I just watched a Season 1 episode where she dumped a guy for liking a different set of china than she did.  (Oh sorry, just saw that you mentioned this.)

But then in Season 6 she and Carrie are discussing what they don't like about guys and she says something like  "But none of that matters when you love someone."

Yeah, I think there is a misconceived notion that people stop "maturing" after 25. When the series starts the women are 32 yes?

I think dating throughout your 30s is very different than dating throughout your 20s. (as someone who will be getting back into dating after a 1.5yrs Covid break at 35) By 37, Charlotte had a different understanding of what she wanted than she did at 32. Of course partnered people grow in their relationships as the years go on, but it might be more striking when you are single because you are having different experiences when different people. 

Additionally- dumping a guy who likes different china than you, is just code for "not really into him". Just because a man is nice, and you find him attractive does not mean you will be compatible with him.

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9 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Additionally- dumping a guy who likes different china than you, is just code for "not really into him".

Normally yes, but on the show that specific incident wasn't presented that way. Carrie's voiceover said something about how things were going so well between them. And then he said he liked this type of china and Charlotte was done.

I do think it's meant to showcase how unrealistic Charlotte's expectations were originally. She evolved after some bitter experiences.

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1 hour ago, Black Knight said:

Normally yes, but on the show that specific incident wasn't presented that way. Carrie's voiceover said something about how things were going so well between them. And then he said he liked this type of china and Charlotte was done.

I do think it's meant to showcase how unrealistic Charlotte's expectations were originally. She evolved after some bitter experiences.

I agree.  Charlotte was so serious about this guy that they were picking out china patterns together.  It was leading down that route.  Charlotte was absolutely ready to commit.

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2 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I agree.  Charlotte was so serious about this guy that they were picking out china patterns together.  It was leading down that route.  Charlotte was absolutely ready to commit.

Yeah, it was one of the few times the show was going for humor and failed.

I wonder if "will reject a decent guy about a china pattern" Charlotte would have said about Harry? The china pattern was much more of the Ken doll type that Charlotte was looking for than Harry (though my memory might be faulty).

I did like Harry but Charlotte had to change a lot to accept a great guy like him.

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(edited)

The writers made caricatures of both Charlotte and Samantha at times. We've all known prissy, picky types, but I don't know anyone who'd break up over a china pattern, or even use it as an excuse. It was one of those over the top TV things. 

Edited by RealHousewife
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I think they were just putting a lampshade on why this guy didn't end up with Charlotte after he and Carrie ended things. On paper, he seemed like a good match for her, but I doubt they were going to hook up any of the women (besides Carrie) in a long term relationship so soon in the show's run.

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Yes, we now have a shiny new full forum devoted specifically to And Just Like That. Please discuss the spin-off there going forward, and you can PM me with any questions or comments as I will be modding that forum along with this thread.

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On 5/20/2021 at 4:44 PM, RealHousewife said:

I kinda long for the SATC days in some ways. I'm not against dating apps, influencers, social media, but life was more romantic then. There's something about meeting people organically. There was more prestige and glamour when it came to writing, celebrity, acting, modeling. When you met a guy for a first date, there was always mystery. Single 2021 Carrie would totally online stalk a man she was interested in. She'd know everything about him before the first date. There's something super comforting about a loved one being a text away, but I think it has made us all lazy about meeting up. I know I sound like such an old lady, but I have a love-hate with modern technology. 

Me too. I miss those days. I also miss making friends and maintaining friendships that way too. Meeting up, talking, speaking. Not having to juggle various social media to connect. 

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