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Brie and Bryan move into John Cena's home to care for Nicole after her surgery in the series-premiere of this "Total Divas" spin-off, which offers a glimpse into Nikki and Brie Bella's life outside the ring with their significant others and family.  First up: John's strict house rules have the Bellas walking on eggshells to keep him happy.

 

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John is seriously uptight.  I can totally understand why he's not into the whole settling down and having a family thing - kids in his house would drive him insane.  I did crack up at Bryan's face after the back to back "if you come across a gator, you get what you asked for" and "if you're up late, let me know, because I have a lot of guns" rules.  

Their mother may have been my favorite this episode.  I loved when she got up and went over and stood in a corner when Nikki, John, and Brie were talking about sex.  And when the girls insisted on continuing the conversation, she effectively shut it down by talking about her sex life.  

Honorable mention, though, to John's "I'm a one armed man and she has no neck!" explanation of their sex life.  It's kind of hard, though, to reconcile the uptight, formal drawing room, all the men must adjourn to the cigar room after dinner, guy to the guy who makes 12 year old boy jokes about boxes.  

And, no, Brie, when it comes to tearing up someone's lawn and adding something to their yard for your own use, it's not better to ask forgiveness than permission.  They do definitely need to all sit down and talk about Josie, though.  The dog has anxiety, and that's a lot of change - the cross country flight, new house, new people, etc.  And if Bryan and Brie are tense because they're worried about upsetting John, and John is tense because he has all these extra people and their dog in his space, that's going to stress even a relatively low key pet out.  

The preview of John teaching Brie to drive stick?  That's got disaster written all over it.  I'd imagine it's a difficult skill to pick up when you're constantly worried you're going to piss off the person teaching you.  When I was in my teens, one of my brother's friends volunteered to teach me.  I went with it because he was the single most laid back person I'd ever met.  If the worst happened, and I damaged, or even totaled, his car, he would have shrugged it off.  

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I literally think Cena is trolling everyone, so this amuses me greatly.  I loved the Downtown Abbey formal dinner dress code and insistence that they meet for morning coffee.  Squee. 

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Wow, John it really is anal about his house, so many damn rules. 

I really could have done without all the sex talk at dinner. 

My favorite part was Josie biting John, she was like take  that uptight asshole.

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A problem in the bedroom causes Brie and Bryan to take out their frustrations on each other; a bored Nicole comes up with an idea to help them out of their dry spell.

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On 10/6/2016 at 1:06 PM, KerleyQ said:

Honorable mention, though, to John's "I'm a one armed man and she has no neck!" explanation of their sex life.  It's kind of hard, though, to reconcile the uptight, formal drawing room, all the men must adjourn to the cigar room after dinner, guy to the guy who makes 12 year old boy jokes about boxes.  

 

Don't forget Nikki's irritated, "Yes, Brie, I keep the neck brace on while we do it, so what?"

I think this has to be made up for the sake of the show. I mean, John Cena has a full time cleaning service, I'm sure, and I would bet any food they consume in the house is brought in or delivered because we all know John doesn't like the kitchen actually being used, lest Nikki spill some water on the floor, and they have no kids, only a 12 pound dog. Nikki really needs the assistance of 4 additional adults to drive her around and help her take care of a purse dog?

 

John's house is very pretty, but doesn't he feel a bit odd about all that space being wasted? I bet he and Nikki use approximately 1/4 of the house, and that's when they're home rehabbing and not traveling for work.

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Jesus Hell, I'm glad I'm not them! Calling animal control for a small nip, and telling his mother in law to make her bed? Good thing he doesn't want kids, the poor things would never be able to breathe!

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I wouldn't make it if I had to live with John. So many rules and he talks down to everyone like they're children.

Also the house is nice and big but I find a a lot of the decor super tacky lol. Not my style but no one asked me either lol.

Honestly tho I'm gonna watch the fuck out of this  lol.

Edited by Marley
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I know reality shows are scripted, but this show screams fake...lol! I still like it, though...haha.  John Cena always sounds like he is reading from a script.

His house definitely reads tacky to me. I'm not into all white everything. Nikki has it made and I sometimes think that Brie is jealous of her. Brie is always bashing Nikki on how much money she spends, but I'm sure Brie would spend like Nikki if she had the same amount of money and/or a John Cena type person to buy her things. 

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1 hour ago, Suzy123 said:

I know reality shows are scripted, but this show screams fake...lol! I still like it, though...haha.  John Cena always sounds like he is reading from a script.

His house definitely reads tacky to me. I'm not into all white everything. Nikki has it made and I sometimes think that Brie is jealous of her. Brie is always bashing Nikki on how much money she spends, but I'm sure Brie would spend like Nikki if she had the same amount of money and/or a John Cena type person to buy her things. 

Jealous, perhaps. I don't know the Bellas very well, but they seem to me like they could not be more on opposite spectral. Nikki is high maintenance, and maybe Brie is a little bit, too, but for what I gathered watching TD, Brie is a lot  less high maintenance and less of a diva. She's just fine with the little house in the Phoenix suburb with the little organic garden and whatnot. Did she and Daniel not visit a plot in Washington (or Oregon) last season, to build and self-sustain there? 

Typing this, I'm thinking it's less jealousy, and more of Brie (that seems, with her hubby, to be a lot thriftier and low maintenance) would be worried about her sister's finances. They are in a business based on looks, and they are getting older. If Nikki and Cena call it quits eventually, and Nikki keeps on her fancy spending habits, she's not going to have a lot to fall back on, and maybe that's why Brie is so on her sister about money. 

Edited by Landlord
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I really like this show despite its complete scripted nature.   I find them all to be entertaining and in on the joke.  Plus, I want John Cena to teach me how to drive stick.   Pretty much I want John Cena to teach me how to do anything.  I'll forget how to open up a bottle of wine* in order for him to patiently teach me.  And color me stupid, but I truly believed Lana had an accent and I was shocked when I heard her talk.   

*basic life skill that I've mastered since I turned 21 (give or take a few years)

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1 hour ago, LBS said:

I really like this show despite its complete scripted nature.   I find them all to be entertaining and in on the joke.  Plus, I want John Cena to teach me how to drive stick.   Pretty much I want John Cena to teach me how to do anything.  I'll forget how to open up a bottle of wine* in order for him to patiently teach me.  And color me stupid, but I truly believed Lana had an accent and I was shocked when I heard her talk.   

*basic life skill that I've mastered since I turned 21 (give or take a few years)

I have an obsession for Wikipedia. Lana's not Russian by blood, but she did either live over there or go to a Russian school. She legit knows the language, and apparently enough to fake an accent.

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Maybe its just the way I interpreted it but Brie and Nikki's mom sure did freak out a bit too much over the men discussing the pre-nup. Especially since she said she knew about it and was fine with it. When she said its not the pre-nup that upset me, I was like sure you keep telling yourself that, I don't buy it. 

Married to someone who is short on patience I was totally jealous at seeing John teaching her how to drive a standard. My husband would have blown a gasket. And how he keeps his voice so smooth, and even pitched I find it relaxing.

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On 10/13/2016 at 11:10 AM, Landlord said:

Jealous, perhaps. I don't know the Bellas very well, but they seem to me like they could not be more on opposite spectral. Nikki is high maintenance, and maybe Brie is a little bit, too, but for what I gathered watching TD, Brie is a lot  less high maintenance and less of a diva. She's just fine with the little house in the Phoenix suburb with the little organic garden and whatnot. Did she and Daniel not visit a plot in Washington (or Oregon) last season, to build and self-sustain there? 

Typing this, I'm thinking it's less jealousy, and more of Brie (that seems, with her hubby, to be a lot thriftier and low maintenance) would be worried about her sister's finances. They are in a business based on looks, and they are getting older. If Nikki and Cena call it quits eventually, and Nikki keeps on her fancy spending habits, she's not going to have a lot to fall back on, and maybe that's why Brie is so on her sister about money. 

I don't know, Brie just seems so fake to me. I think she mostly just parrots whatever Bryan says. I also think she is a little resentful of Bryan's extreme frugality. I mean, this is the guy that called her and read her the riot act over dropping $20 for coffee. Granted, that's a lot of money for coffee, but he's her husband, not her dad.

 

Nikki does spend a lot of money on shoes, clothes, purses, etc- but in her defense, she doesn't have a house payment, a car payment, rent, and I am sure John foots the bills for utilities, food (believe they mostly just eat out), cable, etc. She doesn't have any kids or other dependents. If I could discharge my house payment, car payment, and daycare costs for two kids, I'd have almost $4 grand a month as "fun money", and I'd be willing to bet Nikki makes more money than I do anyways. Plus, she does have her real estate agent license and does occasionally work outside of the WWE.

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John comes off as kind of terrible. He seems like a bore and he acts like Nikki's father instead of boyfriend. He is kind of controlling.

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I agree with what Tatum says. Brie would live a very similar lifestyle to how Nikki lives now, if Bryan would let her.  Bryan seems like a very pushy, kind of manipulative person. It seems like it's either his way or the highway.

It's plain to see that John pays for everything and buys Nikki a lot of expensive purses, dinners, and jewelry. She probably has a nice nest egg tucked away in the bank. 

Watching both Total Divas and Total Bellas, I like Nikki more than Brie. Nikki seems a lot less judgmental and more fun. Bryan is a stick in the mud and judgmental and it seems like that rubbed off on Brie. 

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On 10/13/2016 at 9:47 AM, Suzy123 said:

I know reality shows are scripted, but this show screams fake...lol! I still like it, though...haha.  John Cena always sounds like he is reading from a script.

His house definitely reads tacky to me. I'm not into all white everything. Nikki has it made and I sometimes think that Brie is jealous of her. Brie is always bashing Nikki on how much money she spends, but I'm sure Brie would spend like Nikki if she had the same amount of money and/or a John Cena type person to buy her things. 

I've always gotten the vibe off of Brie that she's one of those women who is into whatever her boyfriend/husband is into.  So, because Brian is very serious about the environment and very frugal, that's what she is.  I remember the Total Divas episode where Brian wanted her to get rid of all of her clothes that weren't modest, and she said something to the effect of "oh, well, now I'll just have to shop for a new wardrobe."  I think she'd love to be given the kind of free reign Nikki has to spend.  And, with Nikki's current situation, she can likely afford to spend a lot while still stuffing a decent amount into savings or a retirement account, because, as mentioned above - she really has very little in her expense ledger right now.  She lives with John (both in Florida and back in California, where he bought her a house).  John probably covers all of the household bills, likely pays when they go out to dinner, for vacations, etc.  She may or may not have her own car payment.  So, really her normal expenses likely boil down to insurance and toiletries/cosmetics.  And if she's driving John's cars, he's likely covering the auto side of the insurance bill, as well, and she's only paying for health and, possibly, life insurance.  Meanwhile, she's one of the top women in WWE, and she has two reality shows, so she's likely pulling in pretty nice salary that isn't being eaten up by much.  Put Brie in that situation, and she'd happily be indulging at least somewhat how Nikki does.  

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Nikki makes it her mission to help Bryan figure out what's next  after retirement; and feeling unappreciated leads JJ to consider quitting his job at Kathy's company and pursuing a career in wrestling.

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On 10/13/2016 at 8:25 PM, Texasmom1970 said:

Maybe its just the way I interpreted it but Brie and Nikki's mom sure did freak out a bit too much over the men discussing the pre-nup. Especially since she said she knew about it and was fine with it. When she said its not the pre-nup that upset me, I was like sure you keep telling yourself that, I don't buy it. 

Married to someone who is short on patience I was totally jealous at seeing John teaching her how to drive a standard. My husband would have blown a gasket. And how he keeps his voice so smooth, and even pitched I find it relaxing.

I thought the same thing. And when she said something like, I'm excited to see JJ, not so much Johnny, I thought, wow, that was immature. Usually I like Kathy, but I did not think she came off very well.

JJ is a total shit stirrer, isn't he? Sitting there grinning as everyone is gasping over Kathy's anger. I hope Cena kicks him out of his little He-Man Boys club for not being able to keep his mouth shut over what goes on in the Cigar Room.

 

Also was shocked to see Cena so laid back about the manual transmission lesson. There's a real recipe for disaster trying to teach that skill.

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I can't stand the way JJ talks to his mother and his sisters. He seems to have no respect at all for them and goes off on them so quickly.  The stuff he said to Brie when they were out to lunch was so bizarre and childish. After Cena had nicely told Brie she shouldn't have said anything, he still has to have a fit over it.

I don't know if he's playing this up for the show or this is how he really is. It's not good either way.  I haven't seen him act like that towards John or Bryan. 

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I think John & Nikki's personalities mesh together perfectly. I think she likes that he kind of guides her in life a bit. Despite his teasing I think he does really respect her a lot. 

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Bryan reaches his breaking point and storms out of the Cena house after getting caught in the middle of an argument between Nikki and Brie. In other happenings, the ladies go on a vacation to celebrate Kathy's upcoming nuptials.

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I don't know, I thought Kathy was pretty ridiculous. Drive to Fedex to pick something up for her, bring it to her for her signature, then drive it back? While Kathy sits on her ass drinking coffee? I'd be pissed too. I really liked her on Total Divas, but now that she's a more regular character, I find her annoying.

 

The only explanation that makes Kathy look good, IMO,  is that JJ is a pretty useless worker, and Kathy makes him do a bunch of dumb errands just to justify giving him a paycheck each week.

 

That conversation with JJ and Cena was so awkward.

 

Brie and JJ are both such shit stirring little buttinskies.

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With each episode I'm liking Cena more and more.

JJ seems like a whiner. I'd love if my mom was building a company for me to take over one day. I'm sure his job isn't that hard.

Nikki is still wrestling tho right? Brie has retired which seems unfair somehow to her just cause Bryan can't anymore but eh it's her life.

Nikki and Bryan at tea was really cute.

Edited by Marley
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I think Brie retired because she is pregnant. She was still wrestling on the show after Bryan's retirement.

 

Not sure if Nikki has recovered enough to wrestle in real time. I don't really watch WWE but my husband does and I haven't seen her on there lately.

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2 hours ago, Tatum said:

I think Brie retired because she is pregnant. She was still wrestling on the show after Bryan's retirement.

 

Not sure if Nikki has recovered enough to wrestle in real time. I don't really watch WWE but my husband does and I haven't seen her on there lately.

Nikki is back, she returned just after the brand split and is on Smackdown.

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On Wednesday, October 26, 2016 at 8:56 AM, Tatum said:

I think Brie retired because she is pregnant. She was still wrestling on the show after Bryan's retirement.

 

Not sure if Nikki has recovered enough to wrestle in real time. I don't really watch WWE but my husband does and I haven't seen her on there lately.

No, Brie stopped wrestling to start a family. She didn't stop because she was pregnant. She hasn't been pregnant for that long. She's been done with wrestling since April.

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I know there's very little that's 'real' about reality television but still, the portrayal of Cena's uptightness is a huge turn off. There's understanding to a degree - when you're inviting yourself into someone else's space, you should be respectful but the overall house rules laid out was as if they're all in boarding school. Requiring formal dinner once a week with fancy dresses and shoes...it's so over the top. You have to be up to have coffee together and engage in morning conversation...goodness. Nikki signed a contract to live in his home? On some level, I do get that because at some point they may be recognized as common-law and he's protecting his earnings (learning from his mistakes of the past with his ex-wife), however, the entire relationship seems so controlled. I struggle to identify exactly what Nikki gets out of the relationship. Even when confronting Brie about making changes to the home (which Brie was out of line with), Nikki's comments had me laughing - 'it's my home, you have to respect it...you have to ask John for permission', lol.

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Brie heads home to be with Bryan; Nikki wonders if Brie's career should come first; Johnny reveals a potentially life-altering secret Kathy has been keeping.

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I know this show is fake but ..

John is so cute and accepting of things. I  thought it was very cool all he asked was if they are ok.

Its nice they can apologize and be cool.

I don't know about Bryan and Brie..it seems she caters to him ..but again it's fake so who knows lol.

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Wow this thread is a hot bed of activity.

Was Nicole trying out some kind of boob tape to see if it works because that brown top was beyond ridiculous. Why even wear a shirt. And her asking her brother if her boobs looked okay the way she was sitting was just gross.

Not to offend anyone who has gotten breast implants, but I also think 51 is pretty late in life for their Mom to be getting them. I am 46 and have accepted the size of mine.

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For some reason (maybe because I'm not in the US) I only get the episode one week later. So I haven't seen this one yet. However, I can say that Katie  (sp?) does not need a boob job. Boob lift, maybe, because she is 51 and had 3 kids. In the fourth episode, when she went to the pool with her kids, she seemed to have a pretty decent size. I think she may even be doing better than Brie in that department. 

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I think "storms out" is pretty dramatic. He left, yes. It has nothing to do with his argument with Nikki (they made up...) and everything to do with him not being happy anywhere in the world right now, much less stuck with all of his wife's family. I think the doctor's call came in just at the right moment for production purpose. However, as the daughter of a man with anxiety and depression issues, there's no way in hell I would let Bryan just deuce out for three entire months. He's depressed, unmedicated, has no sense of purpose (at least until Brie gets pregnant), and you just let him "be alone"?. I know no two depressions are the same, but come on, stupid Brie! 

Also, JJ saying kids are like medication for depression, shut up, you little punk. You have no clue how stupid you just sounded. 

Nicole: Yes, Brie changed. She's a freaking hippie and she wants a little house. She's not partying as hard (uh, hello, she wants motherhood. Do you expect her to hit the club and get smashed two days after giving birth, too? Brie: I just gave birth, Nicole. I'm exhausted, and I would like to just stay home with my husband and my baby." Nicole: "oh, my god, you;re such a bitch, You changed. You're never fun anymore..."), but do you not realize you changed, too. You became an uppity bitch that dresses like Mariah Carey for morning coffee, remember, you used to wear shorts, run after a ball and work at hooters? Nicole just grated me the wrong way, this episode. I hope because they have their own series, we will see less of them in the next TD season. 

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Emotions run high in the days leading up to Kathy and Johnny's wedding as Season 1 draws to a close. Also: Brie deals with mixed feelings as she prepares for her retirement WrestleMania match.

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Is anyone else uncomfortable with Brie talking about Bryan's depression on this show? He's just come across as a very private man and it's his story to tell, not hers. I was pretty disgusted and I hear the death tolls on their marriage. 

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I guess I'm the only one watching this lol..I'm still liking it tho for mindless entertainment.

JJs marriage trouble seems completely fake tho.

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48 minutes ago, Marley said:

I guess I'm the only one watching this lol..I'm still liking it tho for mindless entertainment.

JJs marriage trouble seems completely fake tho.

You're not the only one, I watched it too.  I agree JJ's problems with his wife seemed to be poorly acted.  I find it hard to believe that he would act like that in front of the cameras if they weren't trying to put a storyline across.  

I thought there was some interesting insight into women's fascination with being photographed, and sharing it on social media, especially in different states of undress.  I guess if I had been a model, and had a body that was considered appealing, I might be more into getting pictures taken also.

One impression I got was that they don't make married life look that appealing.  It's nice that they want to welcome John as part of the family, but he is clearly a busy guy, and to get angry and chastise him when he can't get around to be a part of things is not so cool.  Plus all these "dress for dinner" affairs always look so stiff.

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Yay!  Some comments!  My husband and I have the same discussions on posting on SM. I like to do so but he is much more circumspect.   It was interesting to see the discussion.  And I'm liking the whole sit down on the couch ITM pieces.  I don't remember that from last year.  Also agree that the whole JJ marriage thing is fake.  

It is just dumb fun and I need this fluff in my life now especially since we all know how it ends!

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1 hour ago, LBS said:

Yay!  Some comments!  My husband and I have the same discussions on posting on SM.

My ignorance is showing, but what is SM?  

I enjoy fluff also, but I've really been looking more forward to Total Divas this year because I want to see Alexa Bliss on there.  Even though last season I enjoyed Total Bellas more (the Bellas are a good focal point, plus Daniel Bryan is always a plus.  Also, it's fun to watch John Cena be a huge stick in the mud).  Did anyone watch any of the WWE Smackdown episodes with Miz and Maurice impersonating Cena and Nikki?  Hilarious stuff.  The Miz (as Cena) in a robot voice:  "Nikki...I...love...you".

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44 minutes ago, rmontro said:

what is SM?

Social Media.

 

44 minutes ago, rmontro said:

Did anyone watch any of the WWE Smackdown episodes with Miz and Maurice impersonating Cena and Nikki?  Hilarious stuff.  The Miz (as Cena) in a robot voice:  "Nikki...I...love...you".

Those skits were hilarious…and accurate.

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@OnceSane got it.  And yes those skits were funny! Really excited for Total Divas!  That show and Total Bella's make me more into WWE which I now watch with as much glee as my husband.

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Come to think of it, they might show some of those Miz skits on the show later in the season.  Looks like they're going to end with Brie's baby and the Wrestlemania match/engagement.

Also, apologies for spelling Maryse wrong before  :)

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Nikki refuses to let her brother JJ talk to her boyfriend, John Cena, about JJ's marital problems, afraid that John will never want to propose to her; Brie puts her husband on a labor simulator so he can feel what its like to have a baby.

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JJ and Lauren are terrible actors. I would rather Total Bellas not show JJ. He is so annoying and it seems like he either complaining or sulking in every scene he is in.

John is so boring. He is so robotic in how he says things. He seems like a really great guy and he's really funny, but he seems so out of his element on this show. 

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