All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[AZChristian]

7 minutes ago, funky-rat said:

Now I know why the lawyer said his name rhymes with "Awful" - because he's heard that before, from other clients.

Actually, he said his name rhymed with "Waffle."  Not that what you thought you heard was wrong . . . he sure seemed to be, as far as his lawyering skills were concerned.

[funky-rat]

3 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Actually, he said his name rhymed with "Waffle."  Not that what you thought you heard was wrong . . . he sure seemed to be, as far as his lawyering skills were concerned.

I heard the waffle part, then I heard "awful".  So did my husband.  We deleted it, so I can't go back and look.  I suppose I could have mis-heard it, but it's odd that we both mis-heard the same thing.

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, funky-rat said:

I heard the waffle part, then I heard "awful".  So did my husband.  We deleted it, so I can't go back and look.  I suppose I could have mis-heard it, but it's odd that we both mis-heard the same thing.

You could well be right.  I didn't hear the "awful" part.  But that doesn't mean it didn't happen.  I'm 71, and I don't hear a LOT of stuff.  LOL.

[funky-rat]

3 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

You could well be right.  I didn't hear the "awful" part.  But that doesn't mean it didn't happen.  I'm 71, and I don't hear a LOT of stuff.  LOL.

My husband is 44 and has partial hearing loss (not bad enough for hearing aids yet) from some loud previous jobs.  So we could all be wrong, lol.

[Quof]

I shall be the final arbiter (just like JJ).

He said "waffle."  Then he said "awful."

[jilliannatalia]

1 hour ago, Florinaldo said:

I just had a look at the show's Web site and it's not necessary to have an existing real small claims or civil case to be eligible to make a submission to the show; I do not know if they insist you eventually file in a real court anyway to make the whole process more "legitimate".

 

I would love to know the percentage of cases that are taken off local court dockets versus those submitted by one or the other of the litigants.  For that matter, I'd be even more interested in knowing with each case that appears whether it was filed with a court or submitted directly to JJ's production staff.  I assume the bogus case about Kate and the dead cat who tragically got in the way when one of the drunk or stoned guys threw a television was one that was directly submitted to JJ's people.  She was obviously onto the idea that it was fake shortly after it started and finished it up as quickly as logistics would allow. Perhaps JJ only makes the long-suffering comments about having better things to do than to hear their cases to those who have directly submitted their cases to her. 

[jilliannatalia]

2 hours ago, SandyToes said:

Nooooo!   OMG.  At least there isn't any punctuation in that name.  Yet.  Back in the dark ages, my folks had settled on Kimberly Clark for me.  I think it sounds beautiful, so at first was disappointed when she told me they scrapped it for my actual (boringly common) names.  Then Mom explained they made the change when she (bless her) realized it was a toilet paper company. Ah, the good ol'' days...   

Still giggling about Crowding Dragon - Flying Helicopter Tiger Mom.  Just so perfect. Post of the day/week/month!

There sort of is production in that name, though not toilet paper.  Cousin-in-law got it from Amazon's Kindle Cloud Reader. She just left off the "Reader" part.  Another cousin of my husband's should probably use the name, because the surname of the guy she married is "Reeder." 

 

I googled "toilet paper brands and makers" to see if there were any other especially poetic names there besides Kimberly Clark.  I found Georgia-Pacific, Procter and Gamble, Marcal, Valterra, Charmin, Daisy, Angel Soft, Kirkland, Renova, Ambiance, Tork, Windsoft, Wausau, Thetford, Camco, Green Heritage, April Soft, Magic Soft, Coghlan's, Cotton Buds, Trader Joe's, Green Forest, and Atlas Paper Mills, all of which have potential if tweaked just slightly. There are probably enough names that one of my husband's younger cousins who practices the prevailing religion there could begin with one of the toilet paper names and still  have enough names that all of his or her children could be named according to the theme.  I shall print up the list and distribute it at the next family reunion.

 

It's possible that either I have a bit too much time on my hands as essentially a stay-at-home mom (I do some legal work at home for my firm, but not a hell of a lot) or that I'm not using the time as wisely as I might, though I involved my two- year-old  and three-year-old in picking out nice names from the list. It seemed like sort of an educational thing for me to be doing with them.

 

On an only mildly unrelated note, when I asked my husband last week where he put the Easter egg dye kit that I asked him to pick up on his way home from work, he made the mistake of beginning his answer with "Umm . . ."  My little girl's response is probably predictable to most of you.

Edited April 2, 2018 by jilliannatalia
because my typing skills suck

[funky-rat]

17 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

 

I had the thought when reading this of why they don't just change their own names? Kindle Cloud probably won't even be relevant in the child's adult years where as the adult now could have a name that people would recognize (as ridiculous but hopefully my point is understood).

 

They could at least change the spelling to something like "Kindal" or "Kindahl", where it wouldn't be so obvious.

I hate my name with a passion.  I've had it for over 40 years (long before the hip and trendy kid name craze) and it's been a lifetime of correcting spellings and pronounciations, and listening for anything that sounds like it because people will butcher it, or want to change it to something more common, believing it's a  typo.  I kept telling my mother I was changing it as soon as I turned 18 (I was just going to swap my first and middle names - my middle name is more traditional).  But I was named after a much beloved cousin, and his wife.  I attended an event they threw for their son, and he had become ill.  He went on and on about how I was named after he and his wife, and how special that was to him.  Then he died.  And as much as I still hate my name, I've hung on to it, out of respect and to honor him, but if I would have ever had kids, I would have NEVER given them an odd (or oddly spelled) name.  Unique be damned.  I was always the only kid who would be on a field trip and coming back with the keychain or license plate that said something generic.

[jilliannatalia]

19 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

 

I had the thought when reading this of why they don't just change their own names? Kindle Cloud probably won't even be relevant in the child's adult years where as the adult now could have a name that people would recognize (as ridiculous but hopefully my point is understood).

I had the same Michael Scott reaction

The solution you have proposed is a great one in my opinion, though I don't think my husband's oddball relatives are choosing names for their relevance as much as that the relevance has caused them to come up with names of which they like like the sound and appearance. On the other hand, I wish i could honestly believe that they hoped others wouldn't make the [rather obvious] connections between the names they choose and the commercial or pop culture connections to the names.  In truth, however, I suspect they like the notoriety. I think there's an element of playing dumb on my husband's relatives' part. One of the devoutly religious ones, in a faith that bans drinking,  named her kid "Daiquiri, " even spelling it correctly, then tried to claim innocence/ignorance in regard to the meaning of the name.

[SandyToes]

5 minutes ago, jilliannatalia said:

 In truth, however, I suspect they like the notoriety. I think there's an element of playing dumb on my husband's relatives' part. One of the devoutly religious ones, in a faith that bans drinking,  named her kid "Daiquiri, " even spelling it correctly, then tried to claim innocence/ignorance in regard to the meaning of the name.

Oh. My. Dawg!  This has me wanting to throw my shoes at the computer screen.  My eyes rolled so far back in my head I had to slam my head on the wall to shake them back into place.  Double criminy.

 

And @funky-rat, such a sweet story about your Cousin Funky.  I get it.  I'd tell you to embrace the uniqueness, but, nah.  Bummer. 

[Bobby88]

On 3/28/2018 at 7:23 PM, Florinaldo said:

Yes, on these shows that's usually code for "I am therefore entitled to be supported to the hilt by society and I don't have to take responsibility for anything, be it loan agreements, leases I signed, any kinds of debt or my children's rearing and resulting behaviour".

I totally agree. And it seems like many of the single mom litigants on JJ may not have become single moms in the first place if they A) weren't children themselves when they got pregnant (and let's face it, nowadays it feels like 16 is the new 11) and even more importantly B) picked the correct man with whom to have that child. Seriously, if he's a felon, habitually unemployed, and has 20 different kids by 20 different baby mommas and doesn't pay child support for or have a relationship with any of them, what the hell makes some of these single parent litigants/contestants think they're going to be the exception? In the end, it's the children that suffer.

Single parenting is for sure difficult, but there's a difference between actively trying to make ends meet and failing and throwing up your hands and saying "Screw it, it's the state's problem". Many people on this show appear to be closer to the latter.

[Spunkygal]

@funky-rat, oh wow, I have the same name issue. I wasn't named after Uncle Spunky but my mother made up my name back in the late 50s when every other girl was Cindy or Judy or Nancy. I have spent a lifetime of correcting the butchering and also vowed to change it when I turned 18 but my mom's feelings were hurt and said she thought my name was special, so I left it. She was a great mom. But I was miffed that my sister who was born after me got a good name and never had name struggle syndrome. Couple all that with the fact that my last name is of German origin and is not pronounced how it is spelled, and I have the double butchering whammy. But as they say in the hallterview, "it is what it is." So forever you and I can be Funky and Spunky!

[SandyToes]

1 hour ago, Spunkygal said:

Funky and Spunky!

Oh, heavens, that's too funny.  Y'all couldn't have planned that any better.  (And maybe "Funky" and "Spunky" are better than what you've actually got?)

[jilliannatalia]

5 hours ago, SandyToes said:

Oh. My. Dawg!  This has me wanting to throw my shoes at the computer screen.  My eyes rolled so far back in my head I had to slam my head on the wall to shake them back into place.  Double criminy.

 

And @funky-rat, such a sweet story about your Cousin Funky.  I get it.  I'd tell you to embrace the uniqueness, but, nah.  Bummer. 

Oh, dear. This concerns me, both for your lack of well-being as well as for my potential financial responsibility.  Then again, should you seek compensation from me for any non-reimbursed fees for ambulance/paramedics, cell phone minutes used to summon ambulance/paramedics. emergency room, neurologist assessments, radiological examinations, ophthalmological consultations, and so forth, I can in turn pass those expenses along to the individuals truly responsible (husband's batshit-crazed cousins). Simply let me know (through whatever forum you choose to sue me, though JJ's court would seem to be the logical choice; it's up to you, however,  to decide whether to file first in your local jurisdiction and wait for JJ's crackerjack legal staff to usurp the case from your county of residence or to cut out the middle man and submit the paperwork directly to the Court of Sheindlin {because it's a real case] for whatever amount you're out, including  $$$ for emotional distress, even though we already know that the only person emotionally distressed will be Judge Judy for having to hear the case), so that the paperwork in my litigation against my husband's freakazoid cousins may in turn accurately reflect your out-of-pocket expenses plus my own hourly prorated [and padded]  legal fees (which will be summarily denied in the court of JJ because no one in JJ's court's time is ever worth anything) both for responding to your litigation and for instituting further litigation of my own against those individuals actually responsible (husband's wackjob cousins), in addition to the extra $$$ I tag on for my own emotional distress (which also will be summarily denied [because no one other than JJ experiences any true emotional distress]). 

[SandyToes]

@jilliannatalia   Hilarious!!

Let me see what kind of paperwork I can scribble up on this sticky note I have here. I think there is a crayon under the sofa.  And fortunately, I have a very good photo of (some) computer I took about 5 years ago, so I can use that.  Plus my printout from Best Buy for a replacement (and super-jacked up Fantasmagorical version) that will show what I'm owed. 

I appreciate your working with me.  So few fellow litigants will cooperate! 

As for my well-being, aside from the killer headache and eye strain (one still wobbles,) the wine is helping.  A LOT.  Thanks for the concern!  

 

Show? Show? Anywhere?  The repeat of the lovely "Fiancee" and her tribe of "I was a-feared for my safety, so I quickly dumped my baby and ran outside!"  Or course, I wasn't paying too much attention, having lived through this particular hell before, so it's hard to know who said what exactly, and I almost bailed, BUT I stayed through to the (forgotten) conclusion:  "You win $5000!  YOU win $5000!  So no money for either of you!"  HA!  Whew.

Edited April 2, 2018 by SandyToes
Thought I might include at least a little bit of something relating to the show!

[jilliannatalia]

Just now, SandyToes said:

@jilliannatalia   Hilarious!!

Let me see what kind of paperwork I can scribble up on this sticky note I have here I think there is a crayon under the sofa.  And fortunately, I have a very good photo of (some) computer I took about 5 years ago, so I can use that.  Plus my printout from Best Buy for a replacement (and super-jacked up Fantasmagorical version) that will show what I'm owed. 

If you don't have time to request the print-out from Best Buy, you can just type up your own receipt with whatever numbers sound good to you, and print that out..  Litigants frequently do that, and it always works.. And DON'T factor in any depreciation of the item or items, because we all know that the bit about electronic equipment depreciating the second you carry it out the door (and run in a zigzag pattern to your car amidst the sound of alarms in an endeavor  outrun and outwit Best Buy's security thugs)  is some sort of an urban legend. Computers and smartphones actually appreciate, not depreciate, usually because of all the cool stuff you download onto them. And bring lots of notarized statements from your friends and relatives.  Those, too, are certain to influence the verdict in your direction.  Your direction is my direction here. Any judgment against me is more $$$ from my husband's  brain-dead cousins. We're going to get every cent we can from those loony-bin-inhabiting, psychotropic-drug-consuming, and likely consanguineous*** relations of my husband. 

 

And if you're feeling thirsty, drink as much of the water in the pitcher as you want.  That's why it's there. Honest!  JJ won't mind at all if you do. In fact, you can save yourself a little money by not buying or drinking much water in the days preceding your appearance in JJ's courtroom. You can make up your hydration deprivation during the case. If your pitcher goes dry, Byrd will be more than happy to refill it for you, I'm fairly certain. 

 

And if either of us decides between now and the time of our court appearance that it would be wise to further our respective educations, we must take out student loans AND acquire  grants for tuition, fees, and living expenses while we are furthering our respective educations and bettering ourselves.  (We should enroll in one of those for-profit online institutions that gives us a free computer just for enrolling. JJ loves those types of schools, and we can possibly type up and print out receipts from Best Buy for damages to those computers as well) JJ and Byrd both love it when people are smart enough to understand the system and how to use it to better themselves. They don't mind in the least if it means that they are furthering our educations and financially  supporting us. For that matter, between now and the time our cases are heard, each of us can pop out a kid or two (expand our waistlines and the Earth's population while expanding our minds; my tubes are cauterized, but there's always in vitro fertilization) ideally with different fathers for each kid, none of whom contribute a cent financially to the support of the children.  That only shows that we're even smarter than was previously thought and  that we're considerate of the hardships  faced by the men formerly in our lives. If there's a way to collect disability while doing all this, doing such will make JJ think we're even smarter. Just because a person can have sex up to twenty times a day doesn't negate the legitimacy of the person's disability.

 

Furthermore, lean against the podium when you stand to present your case. That's why it is there, and JJ will feel less like she or her production company has wasted money if you use the furniture for the purpose it was intended.  And if for some reason you cannot place your hands on the podium as you lean on it, by all means put your hands in your pockets or fold your arms. They's what pockets and arms are for, and your comfort is paramount to JJ. 

 

And I'm not sure how you feel about this, but I plan to artfully craft the wording of an ebay add so that I can trick someone into paying me several hundred dollars for a picture of an item when they think it's the actual  item they're getting. Doing that is almost certain to make JJ think I'm a true genius. Hell, it ain't my fault if they cain't read. And speaking of hell, there's absolutely  no chance of my having a  premature and untimely death and ending up there in the foreseeable future as a form of bad karma for having scammed anyone in such a manner. There is, purely and  simply, no precedent whatsoever for any such thing happening.

 

And despite anything you may have heard otherwise, "um" IS an answer. Use it liberally when responding to questions JJ poses.

 

I plan to employ all of these strategies myself, and I don't think it would be very sporting of me not to share my wisdom with you and to therefore have an unfair advantage in court.   

 

 

***My husband's parents, grandparents, or forebears are not biologically related to one another. It was his cousins' parents who mated with their cousins on the OTHER sides of the family.  I need to make that perfectly clear, because that would otherwise make  my own offspring consanguineous.  JJ might not like that. 

 

P.S.  Do you think JJ will hear this as one giant convoluted case, or will she hear the cases back-to-back, having my witnesses and me shift in the courtroom to accurately  reflect status as plaintiff/defendant? You can be one of my witnesses in my case against the "Deliverance" cousins. We can probably collect more $$$ in appearance fees that way.

 

P.P..S. At least one of us needs to address JJ as "Momma" in court.

[SandyToes]

God.  STOP!!!!   Laughing is hurting my head! 

(True story: I do have a headache.  Cutting waaaaaaaaaaaay back (waaaay back) on carbs to try to fit into super cool Mother of the Bride dress I found. Looks so pretty on the 15-year old model.  The Jumbo size, not so much.)

Marry  me, @jilliannatalia?!  I can cut Mr. Toes to the curb!  (you do drink wine, right?!) Sorry @AngelaHunter!   You've been replaced...

[AngelaHunter]

Whoa! What the hell is going on in here? I can't leave for five minutes...*sigh*

16 minutes ago, SandyToes said:

Sorry @AngelaHunter!   You've been replaced...

Fickle, they are, with no more loyalty than a drug-addicted, cheating baby daddy. Hmphhh.

[Florinaldo]

And since you were just playing house, don't expect JJ (or us) to sort out your mess.  ;-)

[Cobalt Stargazer]

1 hour ago, jilliannatalia said:

And I'm not sure how you feel about this, but I plan to artfully craft the wording of an ebay add so that I can trick someone into paying me several hundred dollars for a picture of an item when they think it's the actual  item they're getting. Doing that is almost certain to make JJ think I'm a true genius.

I think the word you're looking for is MEE-MEE.

[jilliannatalia]

1 hour ago, SandyToes said:

God.  STOP!!!!   Laughing is hurting my head! 

(True story: I do have a headache.  Cutting waaaaaaaaaaaay back (waaaay back) on carbs to try to fit into super cool Mother of the Bride dress I found. Looks so pretty on the 15-year old model.  The Jumbo size, not so much.)

Marry  me, @jilliannatalia?!  I can cut Mr. Toes to the curb!  (you do drink wine, right?!) Sorry @AngelaHunter!   You've been replaced...

Sorry about the headache. And hell yes, I drink wine.  My mom says it doesn't matter if a mother-of-the-bride dress is Size Jumbo as long as the color of the dress is not peach. She's slightly touched and has a fetish when it comes to peach dresses in large sizes.  One of my brothers' wives enjoys getting under my mother's skin. When she (my brother's wife, not my mom) was preggers, she wore all sorts of peach maternity outfits just to irritate my mother.  I always buy dresses based on how they look on fifteen'year-old models, too.

1 hour ago, AngelaHunter said:

Whoa! What the hell is going on in here? I can't leave for five minutes...*sigh*

Fickle, they are, with no more loyalty than a drug-addicted, cheating baby daddy. Hmphhh.

My husband was raised Mormon. If you recall nineteenth-century U.S. history, you may recall that Brother Brigham and his followers had a mildly liberal interpretation of marriage that didn't limit itself to one man and one woman. Based on that premise, we can ALL be married to each other!

Edited April 3, 2018 by jilliannatalia
to add the all-important and clarifying final three words.\ and to add info that I didn't think of until after I posted

[Jamoche]

12 hours ago, funky-rat said:

I was always the only kid who would be on a field trip and coming back with the keychain or license plate that said something generic.

Me too, but now when I'm at the cafeteria and they call out my name, there's nobody else wondering if that's their order.

[jilliannatalia]

2 minutes ago, Jamoche said:

Me too, but now when I'm at the cafeteria and they call out my name, there's nobody else wondering if that's their order.

One of my husband's aunts by marriage has a perfectly normal first name with a spelling that is phonetically correct but non-standard for the name. Four of her siblings have similarly non-standard spellings of conventional names.  My husband's aunt  is so weary of spelling her name for everyone and fielding questions about it that she gave her own kids the most mainstream names  with only one standard spelling of each so that they would almost  never have to spell their names for anyone with any English writing fluency.

 

Having an odd spelling of one's name isn't nearly as bad as being named Darvocet or Chase Manhattan, and my husband's aunt's name is at least spelled phonetically, so it isn't usually mispronounced by anyone with a basic grasp of phonics, but it's still a headache to the person who has to live with it, and it's usually an attempt  on the part of the parent to be either cutesy or "different." If a kid wants to be different, he or she will find a way to be different. A parent does not need to attempt to gain attention for his or her child with a bizarre name or a stupid spelling.  @Stewedsquash had a great idea in that the parents could change their own names, or in this case, the spellings of their own  names.  If Mary wanted so much to be different, she could change the spelling of her name to Maireee, or Stacy could become Steighssee, if that was what floated their respective boats. They could have all the attention they wanted over the bizarre spellings of their otherwise normal names, and their poor kids could be spared lifetimes of never finding  miniature license plates with their names spelled correctly or, more importantly, rarely having to spell their names for others.

[funky-rat]

14 hours ago, SandyToes said:

Oh, heavens, that's too funny.  Y'all couldn't have planned that any better.  (And maybe "Funky" and "Spunky" are better than what you've actually got?)

Everyone tells me my name is lovely.  I just don't like it due to the constant issues it causes.  My user name comes from a much beloved kids show when I was younger.  :)

8 hours ago, Jamoche said:

Me too, but now when I'm at the cafeteria and they call out my name, there's nobody else wondering if that's their order.

I always give my husband's name if he's not along.  He has an easy name that no one will butcher.  I don't give my name because guaranteed, they'll say it wrong, and I'll be sitting there, oblivious, while they holler it 20 times.

I once went to see an Improv show that was done by Jim Belushi and a troupe he works with form time to time.  After the show, he stayed to sign autographs.  When I gave him my name, he stopped, and said "I'm sorry, but can you spell it?".  I did, and he said "I bet you have had to do that every day of your life, huh?".  I said yes, and he said "Let me tell you a story.  When I was younger, I never had any issues with my first name:  J-I-M.  Easy. But my last name?  Constantly spelling it.  No one pronounced it correctly, and it drove me nuts.  Then, when I was a teenager, out of nowhere, my brother becomes this huge star.  And I never had to spell my last name again!  So my advice to you is this:  become famous. Then you'll never deal with that mess again!".  

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, funky-rat said:

So my advice to you is this:  become famous. Then you'll never deal with that mess again!".  

I wonder if that works for Arnold Schwarzenegger (the spelling of which I had to look up to create this post).

[funky-rat]

34 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I wonder if that works for Arnold Schwarzenegger (the spelling of which I had to look up to create this post).

I think Jim's theory has some limitations.  ;)

[Zahdii]

Years ago there was a girl in our group of friends who was constantly looking for attention.  One day she announced she couldn't wait to have a baby, and if it was a girl she'd name her Diarrhea, because if you didn't know what diarrhea was, you'd think it sounded pretty.  We spent the next few days calling her Diarrhea in public so she'd know how it felt to be given a shitty name.  Pun intended.

[VartanFan]

On ‎4‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 12:45 PM, funky-rat said:

I was always the only kid who would be on a field trip and coming back with the keychain or license plate that said something generic.

I have to laugh at this.  Even though my actual name isn't unusual (or unusually spelled...but I just never use it), my nickname is rare.  I got a lot of "#1 Kid" bike license plates as a child.  We should send "Judith" license plates into the show. 

[Brattinella]

16 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

Years ago there was a girl in our group of friends who was constantly looking for attention.  One day she announced she couldn't wait to have a baby, and if it was a girl she'd name her Diarrhea, because if you didn't know what diarrhea was, you'd think it sounded pretty.  We spent the next few days calling her Diarrhea in public so she'd know how it felt to be given a shitty name.  Pun intended.

Dying here!  Too funny!

[SandyToes]

The return of "I'd like my ring back, please!"   Ha!!!!  Love it. What part of "You don't get the ring back" is so difficult to understand? But very fashionable attire for court!

[jilliannatalia]

9 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Years ago there was a girl in our group of friends who was constantly looking for attention.  One day she announced she couldn't wait to have a baby, and if it was a girl she'd name her Diarrhea, because if you didn't know what diarrhea was, you'd think it sounded pretty.  We spent the next few days calling her Diarrhea in public so she'd know how it felt to be given a shitty name.  Pun intended.

At the risk of stating the obvious, the problem with your attention-seeking friend's proposed scenario is that every English-speaking person  with an IQ over fifty and some with IQ's well under fifty does know what diarrhea is, and it's not pretty. You and your friends made the point perfectly.

Edited April 4, 2018 by jilliannatalia
because my typing skills suck

[pagooey]

35 minutes ago, jilliannatalia said:

if it was a girl she'd name her Diarrhea, because if you didn't know what diarrhea was, you'd think it sounded pretty.

I grew up with a kid named Rhea, pronounced ree-ah; she was a snooty, snotty little thing and you bet your custom rims we called her Diarrhea behind her back and maybe occasionally to her face. 

[SandyToes]

^^   Maybe.....  

[Toaster Strudel]

Please repeal the second amendment and confiscate all firerarms until interruptions to Judge Judy are no more!

What happened to the puppy case?
What happened to the baked guy who traveled to Argentina and Israel and got kicked out of court?

[AZChristian]

6 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Please repeal the second amendment and confiscate all firerarms until interruptions to Judge Judy are no more!

What happened to the puppy case?
What happened to the baked guy who traveled to Argentina and Israel and got kicked out of court?

My favorite puppy case.  JJ figured out how much the plaintiff (irresponsible original owner) was owed by the defendant (irresponsible second owner).  Byrd held the puppy while JJ made her decision.  And he spoke the immortal words, "Please make up your mind.  You know I don't like dogs."  And the whole time, the puppy was licking him like crazy, and he didn't LOOK like he was hating it.  Anyway, JJ told the plaintiff, WE will cut you a check for the difference, so you will be fully paid for the puppy.  And then WE will keep the puppy.  She ultimately gave it to a member of her staff who have (according to reports) given the puppy a very happy home.

No money for either the jetsetting plaintiff or on the defendant's counter-suit.  Must have been sushi day . . . JJ wasn't interested in helping either one of them.

[AngelaHunter]

Our viewing was interrupted by the Weekly Mass Shooting. YouTube!! Domestic dispute? Well, maybe I"d go to my husband's job and start shooting after we argued, but I wouldn't know where to get a gun.

9 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

What happened to the baked guy who traveled to Argentina and Israel and got kicked out of court?

That one sounds really good too. All I got was part of the rerun of the guy suing his former warehouse manager because he got fired after working there only 8 months and taking time off constantly for court appearances and his kid's asthma. 

Oh, and dopey Krystal the flight attendant. I certainly hope she doesnt' have to do much thinking on her job. I understand why the landlady (who is a bitch anyway) didn't want to look at Krystal's face ever again.

[Guest]

On 4/1/2018 at 5:37 PM, Florinaldo said:

Her most annoying recurrent put-down is "My parents did not pay for 7 years of law school for me to deal with pots and pans".

Agreed. She makes eleventy million dollars a year for shrieking out tired catch phrases and put downs to people who sue each other for pots and pans. She should get down on the ground and kiss their feet. 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

Agreed. She makes eleventy million dollars a year for shrieking out tired catch phrases and put downs to people who sue each other for pots and pans. She should get down on the ground and kiss their feet. 

Oh, poo, as my grandmother used to say. She should kiss the feet of Terror Hughes and her apparently balding stepdaughter who are too dumb and neglectful to know that you're supposed to take a puppy to the vet for a checkup and shots and not leave the animal in a cage all day, only to let him out so your kids can poke him in the eye or whatever the hell it was? Those cretins shouldn't be allowed to be in the same room as a cactus, much less a dog that needs things.

[funky-rat]

20 hours ago, Zahdii said:

Years ago there was a girl in our group of friends who was constantly looking for attention.  One day she announced she couldn't wait to have a baby, and if it was a girl she'd name her Diarrhea, because if you didn't know what diarrhea was, you'd think it sounded pretty.  We spent the next few days calling her Diarrhea in public so she'd know how it felt to be given a shitty name.  Pun intended.

I used to work with a young girl who had a flair for the dramatic.  She swore up and down that her mom was a nurse in New York (upstate - where the girl originally came from) and she absolutely saw babies with the names "Orangejello", "Lemonjello", "Chlamydia", "Gonorrhea", "Shithead" (pronounced Shy-Teed), an "La-A".  I bit my tongue from telling her that I heard most of those stories going back to before she was born, and that the "La-A" is a more recent Snopes-worthy thing.  She was also a touch racist, because there was a component of the mothers of these babies that went along with the story.  :/

[Jamoche]

On 4/3/2018 at 6:41 AM, funky-rat said:

" Then, when I was a teenager, out of nowhere, my brother becomes this huge star."

That is just so adorably little-brotherish, like "who'd ever believe my brother would be famous?"

[funky-rat]

7 minutes ago, Jamoche said:

 That is just so adorably little-brotherish, like "who'd ever believe my brother would be famous?"

It was really cute.  I can't re-create the way that he told it in any way.  It was just so cool, and made me forget for a few minutes that Jim is a star in his own right.  John had been doing Improv and theater work before his time on SNL, but I don't think anyone would have predicted just how much SNL would push John up to a household name, and then how things like Animal House just made him explode in to superstardom.  I did tell Jim that The Blues Brothers was my favorite movie, and my dad and I saw it at the movie theater when it came out (I was 7-8 years old) and that I adored John when I was younger.  He just smiled.

[Sarcastico]

Quote

Mr. Draper being sued by his former lady friend:

His last line in the hallterview was, "I'll see her in the club."  At first I thought he said, "car," as if they would share a ride back to the airport.  But given the way he was dressed, I think he really said, "club."  Anybody else catch this? 

[Florinaldo]

15 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

She makes eleventy million dollars a year for shrieking out tired catch phrases and put downs to people who sue each other for pots and pans. She should get down on the ground and kiss their feet. 

I would not go as far as having her kissing feet all around, but it is true that she makes her living out of cases that involve little matters. Pots and pans may be well beneath her own position in society, but for some of the litigants who have lost such household items, clothes, etc., these can be very onerous to replace in light of their low income. She may think that their portion of the appearance fee will compensate for these losses, but she often describes her show as a "court of equity"; doesn't she give short shrift to that notion when she refuses to consider those things because she believes they are too trivial to be worthy of her attention?

 

14 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

She should kiss the feet of Terror Hughes and her apparently balding stepdaughter who are too dumb and neglectful to know that you're supposed to take a puppy to the vet for a checkup and shots and not leave the animal in a cage all day, only to let him out so your kids can poke him in the eye or whatever the hell it was?

The show's staff selects the cases and the litigants. They are responsible, perhaps with some oversight from her, for which shining specimens of humanity we are exposed to. Probably one of their selection criteria is which people will make for good TV; the freakier and more disgusting the better in some cases. They too owe their gainful employment to the dregs of society that form a good portion of the show's litigants.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Going to the Small Talk thread.

[jilliannatalia]

23 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Our viewing was interrupted by the Weekly Mass Shooting. YouTube!! Domestic dispute? Well, maybe I"d go to my husband's job and start shooting after we argued, but I wouldn't know where to get a gun.

I'm not quite sure where in my area to get a gun legally, though I know through my work where to obtain one illegally. I certainly don'y want to make a heavily overly political  post, but I don't like it any more than the next person does when my regular television viewing is interrupted for news stories about which I care, but about  which I don't wish to watch endless hours of coverage if for no great reason other than that my older child is 3 1/2 and is no longer napping for very long.  Judge Judy is on when he gets up.  As long as it isn't too explicit a case, I let him watch it with me as we color or assemble puzzles on the floor in view of the TV. (I am well aware of just what a stellar parenting practice this is.)  I cannot, however, justify allowing the child to view coverage of the weekly mass shootings.  A parent has to draw the line somewhere. 

[AngelaHunter]

Is the throat-stabbing case new? I FF it, because I really didn't want to listen to knife fights and other acts of savagery, but stopped because I was transfixed by "Nashdae"s bristling moustache and sideburns. Anyway, I caught the last 5 minutes, where I believe plaintiff said she carries a knife in her bra, or maybe not as the answer to that is the cliffhanger which I assume will be resolved tomorrow. I should go back and watch since it's nice when we and JJ finally get a case that doesn't revolve around spoiled brats, desperate women and friggin' cell phones.

6 minutes ago, jilliannatalia said:

As long as it isn't too explicit a case, I let him watch it with me as we color or assemble puzzles on the floor in view of the TV.

Sounds like you're bringing the lad up right!:) I wouldn't worry about explicit. I remember when the nightly news contained lengthy segments detailing blowjobs. Why, when I was a young'un...

[Spunkygal]

42 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Is the throat-stabbing case new? I FF it, because I really didn't want to listen to knife fights and other acts of savagery, but stopped because I was transfixed by "Nashdae"s bristling moustache and sideburns. Anyway, I caught the last 5 minutes, where I believe plaintiff said she carries a knife in her bra, or maybe not as the answer to that is the cliffhanger which I assume will be resolved tomorrow. I should go back and watch since it's nice when we and JJ finally get a case that doesn't revolve around spoiled brats, desperate women and friggin' cell phones.

Sounds like you're bringing the lad up right!:) I wouldn't worry about explicit. I remember when the nightly news contained lengthy segments detailing blowjobs. Why, when I was a young'un...

No, not new! We discussed it on page 312 when it first aired. I could never forget Nashdae. 

[jilliannatalia]

45 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Sounds like you're bringing the lad up right!:) I wouldn't worry about explicit. I remember when the nightly news contained lengthy segments detailing blowjobs. Why, when I was a young'un...

I suppose you're right. I was ten when the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal broke, and I don't recall either parent reaching for the remote to quickly turn the TV off or change the channel whenever the story was covered. (I didn't know what the talking heads were talking about and didn't particularly care as I recall.) And look how great I turned out.  Then again, maybe how I turned out,  in and of itself, is sufficient reason to censor the kid's viewing.

[Brattinella]

52 minutes ago, Spunkygal said:

No, not new! We discussed it on page 312 when it first aired. I could never forget Nashdae. 

Could NEVER forget Nashdae.  She has multiple mugshots online, too.

[AngelaHunter]

53 minutes ago, Spunkygal said:

We discussed it on page 312 when it first aired. I could never forget Nashdae. 

Thanks. Just took a look in case my memory has totally left me, but I see I chose not to watch it then either. I should have stuck with that decision.

8 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

Could NEVER forget Nashdae.

I see why. The mustachioed Nashdae with a knife - the stuff of nightmares.

 

51 minutes ago, jilliannatalia said:

. I was ten when the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal broke

I was, well, a wee bit older and remember wondering what that was like for parents who would either have to skip the news (and hide the newspapers) or order the kiddies out of the room while it was on. Even I was appalled. No discussions of oral sex was to be heard on any tv show, even late at night, but prime time news? Why sure! Let's talk about the president's ejaculations.