All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[Guest]

Oh MAN! Crazy "HE BROKE MY GRANDMOTHER'S DISHES!!!!" lady made my day. Methinks she has a little crush on the Defendant hence the way out of proportion reaction. Also? The guy was totally decent--he gave back all the shit he took. I wish JJ had asked her what exactly the damages were she was suing for. I mean, it was like maybe $400 bucks. Was it really worth $400 to make an ass of yourself of national TV over that? (I mean, it was worth it to ME but I'm not sure what she got out of it.)

[Lonesome Rhodes]

JJ forever laments how so much of her time is wasted.  Today, she wasted everybody's.

 

She had the slam dunk rear-ender by the lady who didn't own the car.  She had no jurisdiction or concern whether there was insurance.  None.  The only issue was how to make the plaintiff whole.

 

What does JJ do?  She wants to hear all about, in the most minute detail possible, the irrelevant actions by everyone after the accident.  Huh?  What happened to wasting time?

 

So, the only thing the defendant insisted was that the amount sought was outrageous.  Seems a fine time for JJ to whip out the Wapner-patented minimum two, preferably three, estimates.  Nope.  She goes against a long history of demanding proof of actual damages.

 

JJ could not imagine why the defendant did not want to go through her insurer?  Really?  How about 1) She fully expected a cost within her deductible, and 2) Reporting an accident by an unauthorized driver would lead to a big spike in her premiums.  Perfectly reasonable and valid reasons, eh?

 

I will agree the defendant was a fool to not deal with this aggressively and get it handled.  If the plaintiff was gonna try to soak her, then yes, time for court.  My sense is that he wasn't exactly pure in this whole deal.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

What does JJ do?  She wants to hear all about, in the most minute detail possible, the irrelevant actions by everyone after the accident.  Huh?  What happened to wasting time?

I think she just wanted to hear the juicy details and compare them to their statements. I notice that she's really irritated when people change their statements during the trial. And I think she also thought something was amiss in the trunk of that car (perhaps dope, perhaps stolen merchandise, hell perhaps a small body wrapped in a throw rug). I actually enjoy the raking over the coals on her show particularly when the people involved are dumb as dirt but think they can slide something past her. 

[Toaster Strudel]

Smirking Living Sponge - Alethea Lamb, you may be good-looking, and you might have a delightful accent, but you ought to be ashamed of yourself for falling for this shameless, "hard on his luck" Lothario.  The second I saw him scrunching his eyebrows to produce a dark, seductive gaze to JJ, I wanted to inject a gallon of Botox in his face so he can't move a facial muscle for the rest of his life.  I also wanted to punch him.  The lesson here, according to the Living Sponge: "matters of the heart very sensitive"!  Shut up fool, this is a hallterview, not a recitation of a Hallmark valentine day card.

 

2014 Hippie Commune - I loved Imogen's giant granny glasses.  I also loved the concept of a driving lesson slash date.  And the deer-in-headlight two-tone hair plaintiff that had to have Byrd walk all the way over to the podium to explain to her slowly that she needs to put one foot in front of the other all the way to her car to fetch the registration.  I don't know why she was suing the guy, you don't need a law degree to figure out that Imogen is responsible, and she'd already paid $700 "out of the goodness of her heart."  Characters.

 

Homeless Preggo Cougar - That was precious, I'm so happy JJ tossed Barbara Borsodi out of court without a penny.  She spends two years homeless waiting for a contested inheritance, receives disability for congestive heart failure, and gets herself knocked up by a insistent, lovestruck teenager?  All the while, while JJ is ripping her a new one, her son (of the same age as her teenage Prince) was nodding in agreement, LOL! "But your Honor, he pursued me, he begged me!"  At least put on a condom so that you're not tied up to him for 20 years raising a kid with a kid, with your bad back and your CHF!  And then... she has the audacity of taking him to court to pay for appliances that he doesn't even have?  And his half of some rent?  She really thought some teen the same age as her son was going to support her??? Good grief.  Was she intimating that she was going to have an abortion?  Or some scheme where she wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate as the father? Please!  Foolish, foolish woman.  I can't believe she showed herself on television.  The teenager that barely said a word during his court appearance, unfortunately opened his mouth in the hallterview to explain how banging this pre-menopausal  whale in homeless shelters, garages, and car were the two best years of his life.  You have to wonder where he came from to have this notion.

 

BBQ Baloney Carjack - What was up with that?  They fake-stole a car to collect insurance?  What was the mouthy plaintiff even suing the defendant for?  JJ asked this very question and she got a whole lot of TL;DR where even the very existence of "Uncle Dank" was in contention.

[califred]

Is this whiny hysterical plaintiff week?

[patty1h]

JJ has hit the bonanza of crying, hysterical women this week.  Miss Barbara Borsodi, the 41 year old fool pregnant by a teen-ager should get a special award for delusion. He chased her!  We were homeless!  She made a mistake!  She's on disability!  She hurt her shoulder on her new job!   He signed for the washer!  Neck tattoo!  Is she a Juggalo?  I enjoyed every second of JJ's yelling at her.

 

My diagnosis is bipolar - she was all wound up and her emotions were bizarre.  I pray for that baby.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

This week so far has been a whole big bag of awesomely crazy whackadoodles. Can you imagine pregnant creepy Juggalo Barbara and Broken Dish Lady in the green room together? "HE BROKE MY DISHES!" "HE PROMISED ME!" Good Lord give these women a big milkshake full of hormones or Xanax or SOMETHING. Judge Judy is not your friend! She's not your therapist! It's not a forum to air your nasty dirty stinking laundry cos the wind is blowing back on you and you come off smelling like brown mushy!

 

Imogen thought she was Zooey Deschanel - I was waiting for her to pull out her ukelele and sing JJ a little ditty about how that wretched tree popped up in front of her car, and oh yea, the guy ASLEEP NEXT TO ME is my teacher and he's responsible!! All three of the people in that case looked like burned out hipster crackheads.

 

As for the Smirking Living Sponge - I swear he sits in front of the mirror and practices being all seductive and mysterious and lifts that elbow in between trolling Plentyoffish for his dating pool and cleaning out the dead bodies from the trunk of his car. 

 

PREPOSTEROUS!! as JJ would say. No wonder she gets so pissed off. 

[BellaLugosi]

Louise sure was surprised that she could go outside and get that registration.  I wonder if this was one of those fake cases like those other hipsters. I found them funny until Imogen showed up. 

[AngelaHunter]

"But your Honor, he pursued me, he begged me!"

 

Oh, yeah, like YOU (if you started breeding at 17, were now 41, homeless and with congestive heart failure) wouldn't spread for a round-headed, 19 year old buffoon. Don't pretend you wouldn't, because I'm sure that's just the kind of nice, trusting person you are. Kid was irresistable and no doubt a real sweet talker. Bwahahaha!

 

Doesn't anyone watch this show before agreeing to appear on it? If they did, they would know that hysterical crying just makes JJ meaner, especially when coming from a middleaged woman who swears her teenaged beau promised her the moon, well, until his Momma sent him to his room.

[Intocats]

"HE BROKE MY GRANDMOTHER'S DISHES AND SHE'S DEAD!!" I couldn't stop shaking my over that one.

 

 

Homeless Preggo Cougar - That was precious, I'm so happy JJ tossed Barbara Borsodi out of court without a penny.  She spends two years homeless waiting for a contested inheritance, receives disability for congestive heart failure, and gets herself knocked up by a insistent, lovestruck teenager?  All the while, while JJ is ripping her a new one, her son (of the same age as her teenage Prince) was nodding in agreement, LOL! "But your Honor, he pursued me, he begged me!"  At least put on a condom so that you're not tied up to him for 20 years raising a kid with a kid, with your bad back and your CHF!  And then... she has the audacity of taking him to court to pay for appliances that he doesn't even have?  And his half of some rent?  She really thought some teen the same age as her son was going to support her??? Good grief.  Was she intimating that she was going to have an abortion?  Or some scheme where she wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate as the father? Please!  Foolish, foolish woman.  I can't believe she showed herself on television.  The teenager that barely said a word during his court appearance, unfortunately opened his mouth in the hallterview to explain how banging this pre-menopausal  whale in homeless shelters, garages, and car were the two best years of his life.  You have to wonder where he came from to have this notion.

 

 

OMG…that was all kinds of crazy. I thought for sure JJ would toss Homeless Preggo Cougar and her entourage out when she made her speech about the injustice of teenagers serving in the military when they can't order a beer. What the holy heck does that have to do with a woman in her forties getting herself knocked up by a 19-year-old?

 

Cougar expects her teenage Romeo to pay for some rented stuff that she continues to use! As if! And she thought Romeo's mother was "down with" their relationship? Mom might have been "down with" someone else dealing with her kid for awhile…until a baby came into the picture.

 

I was puzzled by Cougar's comment about whether or not she would keep the baby. Did she mean adoption? She was clearly showing past the first trimester, so I'm not sure what other options she would have. That poor child.

Edited May 1, 2014 by Intocats

[BellaLugosi]

If I had to guess, she's thinking about private adoption, which means asking for money for the baby. Not knocking private adoptions, I am knocking this human dumpster. 

[Guest]

I was puzzled by Cougar's comment about whether or not she would keep the baby. Did she mean adoption? She was clearly showing past the first trimester, so I'm not sure what other options she would have. That poor child.

I just thought she was fat! It never even occurred to me she was all that pregnant but now that you mention that, yeah. I hope that kid is far away from her.

As for the Sponge, if the majority of us could smell the sleaze from this guy within 10 seconds, what mental disease did the Plaintiff have that prevented her from doing the same? Desperationism is my guess.

Edit: Ok. Just watched the Hipster Commune case. Imogen Eddington and her over-enunciation made me crazy. It wasn't just the affected diction but that NAME. It was like something from a bad children's book. I also got a whiff of fakery from those people. Facts (if that's what you could call them) were vague, everyone seemed liked they were putting on, and a commune? Really? Skeptical.

Edited May 1, 2014 by Guest

[Intocats]

Edit: Ok. Just watched the Hipster Commune case. Imogen Eddington and her over-enunciation made me crazy. It wasn't just the affected diction but that NAME. It was like something from a bad children's book. I also got a whiff of fakery from those people. Facts (if that's what you could call them) were vague, everyone seemed liked they were putting on, and a commune? Really? Skeptical.

Word! I smelled a rat, too...and not the Hipsters' poor housekeeping. Fifteen adults in one house? It must be a really big house, which would cost a fortune in most parts of California.

Ms. Eddington's over-enunciation drove me nuts, too. And Byrd having to convince Louise to go get her car registration was priceless.

This case reminded me of one years ago, involving three roommates (from Seattle, I think...and dressed like Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love on a bender). There was a smashed TV and a dead cat and lots of wailing. Does anyone remember that case?

Edited May 1, 2014 by Intocats

[BellaLugosi]

 

This case reminded me of one years ago, involving three roommates (from Seattle, I think...and dressed like Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love on a bender). There was a smashed TV and a dead cat and lots of wailing. Does anyone remember that case?

Those are the people who later admitted they faked it all. It reminded me of them too, which is why I think they were all a bunch of liars. 

[Intocats]

I thought Alethea Lamb was very pretty and I loved her accent. What made her desperate enough to hook up with Rico Suave? Flapping his eyebrows at JJ...wouldn't be surprised to see that case morphed into a YouTube video one day.

That guy gave me the creeps. He looked like one of those serial killers on an Investigation Discovery program.

[Toaster Strudel]

Barara Borsodi looked more fat than pregnant because she was spreading sideways more than forward.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Just watched the Hipster Commune case. Imogen Eddington and her over-enunciation made me crazy. It wasn't just the affected diction but that NAME. It was like something from a bad children's book.

Like the new childrens book: " Imogen Eddington and The Unfortunate Series of Events That Caused Her Baked Ass to Run Into A Tree and Blame It On Somebody Else". I forgot the commune aspect. They all looked rather baked - perhaps they work on a commune growing weed. All I know is it wasn't the designated day for the plaintiff to use the hairbrush on her hair-don't. 

[BellaLugosi]

CBS is doing a Judge Judy one hour special in May. 

 

The special will include new cases, classic "Judyisms" -- the judge's classic one-liners that viewers love -- and a look back at the original "60 Minutes" profile and the 2003 segment when the news show revisited Sheindlin.

 

Cases in prime time?!

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

Hey Imogen, Bailey Quarters is looking for her glasses...give her a buzz at 888-555-1979

the judge's classic one-liners that viewers love

 

Please God, not MY America. 

[speac]

 

Hey Imogen, Bailey Quarters is looking for her glasses...give her a buzz at 888-555-1979

 

 

I'm pretty sure those glasses are now the thing with the hipsters.  

[Milz]

 

All I know is it wasn't the designated day for the plaintiff to use the hairbrush on her hair-don't.

 

Damn Patti!

 

She reminded me of a Manson Family member.

 

re: JJ Prime time

 

I had to look it up, but CBS shows NCIS tuesday nights at 8. I wonder if NCIS has a ratings problem.

[BellaLugosi]

Bailey Quarters!  I literally laughed out loud!

 

NCIS has their finale on the 13th.

[AngelaHunter]

I'm going to sue the Judge Judy show. I am now suffering PTSD due to being forced to picture Travis McDaniel and his wife, Miss Piggy, making seven children. OMFG, where's the brain bleach?

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I'm going to sue the Judge Judy show. I am now suffering PTSD due to being forced to picture Travis McDaniel and his wife, Miss Piggy, making seven children. OMFG, where's the brain bleach?

Was that the baker dude? God he was ungrateful. And everybody except the mother/bakery owner looked like a family of Gingerbread people or maybe a family of Pillsbury Dough-People (said in love cos I'm definitely more fluffy than the average bear myself). A little too much yeast sprinkled in the family tree. 

 

WTH was up with Sparkles? Isn't that a clown name? Or maybe a stripper name? A stripper clown name? I guess the rule of the road is to never drive with flashy rims and loud music when your passengers have warrants out for their arrest. Sparkles' BF also needed to return those glasses to the 80s pile. 

[BellaLugosi]

I loved all the stifled giggles every time the plaintiff said Sparkle. Also how does Sparkle not tip over? Sparkle has to be a stripper or something right? Sparkle was dying for her 15 minutes of fame wasn't she?  

 

Rims! I don't think we've heard anything about RIMS in years! 

 

Why was Frederick's eyebrow permanently arched like The Rock's?

[Guest]

Oh, man. Here we go again with the "This is MY America" shtick from Judy. Look, that blobulous waste of DNA could have been raked over the coals with a million other reasons outiside all the political commentary. If I want to watch wingnuts judging people, I'll turn on Fox News.

And I love how JJ tells this clown that she loves Les Moonves so much as if he knows who the hell Moonves is. (And trust me, I'd love Les Moonves too if he were signing my $30 million dollar checks.)

Edited May 1, 2014 by Guest

[Rick Kitchen]

According to Google, Imogen Eddington is a teacher at a church school.

[MrsEVH]

Is Imogene British of just occasionally faking the accent?

[Intocats]

Is Imogene British of just occasionally faking the accent?

Imogen's accent wasn't British (that was Alethia Lamb in the other case yesterday.) Imogen did that funny over-enunciationnnnnnn of the ends of words typical of some young women in central California, and possibly L.A...though I don't spend enough time there to know.

[Intocats]

WTH was up with Sparkles? Isn't that a clown name? Or maybe a stripper name? A stripper clown name? I guess the rule of the road is to never drive with flashy rims and loud music when your passengers have warrants out for their arrest. Sparkles' BF also needed to return those glasses to the 80s pile.

You got that straight, ItsHelloPattiAgain! This must be Odd Couple Week on JJ. First up, Cougar Barbara and Teenage Loverboy Harley. Then, Alethea Lamb and Rico Suave Of The Flexible Eyebrows. And tonight, we have Steve Urkel All Grown Up and his girlfriend Sparkle.

JJ's syndication company has been saving these eps all season to spring them all on us at once!

[AngelaHunter]

Steve Urkel All Grown Up and his girlfriend Sparkle.

 

Sparkle, The Clown Hooker, made me nervous. I was afraid those giant bazooms were going to explode before our eyes, spraying the audience with silicone goo.

[DoctorK]

 

Hey Imogen, Bailey Quarters is looking for her glasses

Yeah, but Bailey really made it work. Imogen not so much. And Bailey was not a blithering idiot (except for the episode where the efficiency expert visited and Bailey pretended to be completely stoned out of her mind).

[Sarcastico]

Why was Sparkle called Sparkle when Chesty or Busty or Topsy-Turvy might have been more appropriate? 

 

I bought a new car last week and none of you f-----bitches offered to co-sign for me or let me register the car in your name.  Thanks a lot!

 

Wow, my first post here, and on my birfday (as we say in New Jersey) too!

[Toaster Strudel]

I'll co-sign for you ONLY if you can prove you don't have a driver's license.

[BellaLugosi]

I'm a nice person so I will co-sign for you. Also what am I supposed to do if you ask? 

 

Happy birthday!

[Milz]

Do you have car insurance, Sarcastico? If you do, I absolutely, positively cannot co-sign for you. And you need to show me proof that you're a convicted felon, in order for me to register that car in my name.

[6 MeowMeowBeenz]

I was currently unaware that the insurance had lapsed whenever I didn't pay for it, irregarding the fact that I was in the process of going to pay it. 

Edited May 2, 2014 by 6 MeowMeowBeenz

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

I'll co-sign for you ONLY if you can prove you don't have a driver's license.

Happy Birfday Sarcastico! I'll be honored to co-sign for you but I really need a cell phone - can you put me on your plan? If you boughten me the phone I'll pay the bill as soon as I get my student loan reimbursement. 

[AngelaHunter]

A very happy Birfday, Sarcastico! So sorry I wasn't around to help you with the car thing, but if you ever need bail, a motorcycle or a big-ass tattoo, don't hesitate to ask. I'm sure you'll promise to pay me back unless of course I start harrassing you in which case you will feel you're not entitled to pay me back.

[pagooey]

Sorry we missed your birfday, Sarcastico, but it is what it is. You need some rims for that new car?

[DoctorK]

Today's Mad Mom freaked me out, she is so angry and so convinced that she is correct about the son causing the car to blow up, which was pretty clearly contradicted by her own witness. We didn't hear much from the son during the case, but in the hallterview he sounded very together and rational, while Mad Mom seemed neither of those things.

 

Second case, dweeb boyfriend with the institutional haircut and the car parts - how did it end? Our feed from Mobile replayed the first five minutes of the case in place of the last part of the case, very frustrating but I think I could figure out how the case was going to end.

[AngelaHunter]

I can't help you, Doctor K, as didn't watch the end of the Car Part Caper either, for reasons I posted on TwoP:

 

Ms. Ruggierio, you have the distinction of being the first litigant who annoyed me to such an extreme I had to turn off JJ. Ms. R's eardrum, busted by her paramour, the Pillsbury Dough Boy (busted in October and for which she sought medical treatment in January) actually didn't bother me as much as did her hot pink, fitted dress with a skinny gold belt that showcased her huge, bulging gut.

[Jamoche]

DoctorK, after dweeb boyfriend kept talking over JJ and telling her she wasn't listening when she told him to listen, he got a lesson in listening, logic, and how said lesson is not disrespectful in very very small words in a relatively gentle "talking to idiots" tone - the sort of gentle tone that has smart people ducking for cover - and then she cut loose: "Now, Mr Freshmouth, she's suing you for $X, and she got it. Now I am going to be disrespectful: Get out."

[DoctorK]

Thank you Jamoche, sounds like I missed a good and well deserved smackdown. Bad haircut dweeb annoyed the heck out of me from the beginning. Sometimes I am sad that JJ can't say "take them out and hang them, make the world a better place".

Edited May 3, 2014 by DoctorK

[Toaster Strudel]

When I saw this guy, my jaw dropped.  Boy, was that guy ugly!  Immediately my mind begins to race, and I'm imagining that the plaintiff will sue this rich heir for bags of diamonds.

 

No!

 

He literally had a paper route.

 

What did the plaintiff see in him?  I thought perhaps he might be an attentive lover, but with that face, even that attribute probably wouldn't do him any favors.

Edited May 3, 2014 by Toaster Strudel

[Intocats]

Happy (belated) birfday, Sarcastico!

Bad Haircut Boyfriend was a tool and richly deserved a JJ smackdown...BUT (and I'm playing devil's advocate here) I'm wearying of her "MY Americas" and her tendency to compare her intellect and her fabulous lifestyle to the assorted oddballs and cretins who appear before her.

I'm getting the impression that, despite JJ's mega millions, she's not a very happy girl.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

 

Bad haircut dweeb annoyed the heck out of me from the beginning

OMG it was the love child of GIlligan and Howard Wolowitz from the Big Bang Theory! I honestly didn't know guys that ironed their hair into a bowl haircut really existed in real life. I was trying to figure out what the plaintiff saw in that guy. 

 

I couldn't figure out why Gold Belt had been walking around for a couple of months with a ruptured eardrum - I thought maybe he cuffed her in the ear and it popped but he yelled at her? Really? Tell that to all the rock singers over the years. 

 

This has definitely been the week of Questionable Mom Choices. We've got Deranged Pregnant Cougar Mom, we've had Broken Dishes Hysteria Mom and Long Term Coma with Missing Car Mom - (I think we had somebody that got sent to jail in between Mom). What ever happened to those old school Mom types that bake cookies and wear aprons instead of cooking meth and sleeping in cars with teens?

[Intocats]

 

This has definitely been the week of Questionable Mom Choices. We've got Deranged Pregnant Cougar Mom, we've had Broken Dishes Hysteria Mom and Long Term Coma with Missing Car Mom - (I think we had somebody that got sent to jail in between Mom). What ever happened to those old school Mom types that bake cookies and wear aprons instead of cooking meth and sleeping in cars with teens?

Long Term Coma with Missing Car Mom looked like she had once been attractive, before the substances and whatever else took hold. Very sad.

[BellaLugosi]

 

What did the plaintiff see in him?

 

Seriously, what the hell. That was one ugly person, inside and out. I will never understand the desperation to be with someone, anyone, that would cause someone to be with a person like that.

[momtoall]

Happy (belated) birfday, Sarcastico!

 

So sorry I missed your big day.  To make up for it, I'll borrow you some money so you can go shopping!!  The litigants this week have been over the top in so many ways.  I can't wait to see what's in store for the rest of sweeps. 

Edited May 3, 2014 by momtoall