Favorite Quotes: Oh, I'd wear clown makeup if I thought it'd get me a conviction.

[GHScorpiosRule]

10 minutes ago, Xeliou66 said:

It’s funny, cause Sundance will always censor the word “bareback” for some idiotic reason when they play the episode.  The unneccessaye censorship pisses me off to no end, it’s a complete joke, especially from Sundance, they censor mild, random stuff all the time yet they play R rated movies a lot with stronger content than L&O. Beyond irritating. I love watching on TNT cause they don’t censor anything.

I said this same EXACT thing when Sundance first started airing this show. It's beyond ridiculous. And I agree about TNT. They have the balls to not censor the N word, either. Blanking/bleeping it out, the scene loses the emotional impact.

[wknt3]

3 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

It’s funny, cause Sundance will always censor the word “bareback” for some idiotic reason when they play the episode.  The unneccessaye censorship pisses me off to no end, it’s a complete joke, especially from Sundance, they censor mild, random stuff all the time yet they play R rated movies a lot with stronger content than L&O. Beyond irritating. I love watching on TNT cause they don’t censor anything.

Sundance and WE (and I believe ION) air the broadcast syndication cuts for some reason. I can sort of understand it with ION given their roots as a "family friendly" Christian network before it became yet another channel offering endless reruns of network procedurals (not that there's anything wrong with that, some of my favorite series are network procedurals), but it makes no sense to me given that Sundance is supposed to be an "artistic" network aimed at a sophisticated adult audience, and WE's programming outside of reruns is straight up raunchy reality trash. I remember commenting elsewhere on these forums that I always found it ironic that WE would drop audio on the word chubby in the line "I get a chubby just thinking about her" when they aired "Working Mom" and then go to a commercial about their new series featuring couples having sex in a box. I sort of hope that it comes down to some sort of stupid legal thing where TNT had exclusive rights to the uncut network versions way back and it's never been dropped when they renewed the contract so the other networks get the cuts designed so that some station in Omaha didn't have to deal with too many FCC complaints. Because if it's just laziness and nobody caring about what they are airing it's so much worse. Lawyers and bureaucratic inertia are just part of life we all have to deal with, but carelessness or not being able to be bothered is so much worse!

[Picture It. Sicily]

When they censor something random, it takes me right out of the show. I can spend a solid minute trying to recall, "what bad word was in this episode?" Then getting annoyed when it was something completely not profane.

[GHScorpiosRule]

9 minutes ago, Picture It. Sicily said:

When they censor something random, it takes me right out of the show. I can spend a solid minute trying to recall, "what bad word was in this episode?" Then getting annoyed when it was something completely not profane.

Yup; like crapper, ass, bareback.

[Xeliou66]

40 minutes ago, wknt3 said:

Sundance and WE (and I believe ION) air the broadcast syndication cuts for some reason. I can sort of understand it with ION given their roots as a "family friendly" Christian network before it became yet another channel offering endless reruns of network procedurals (not that there's anything wrong with that, some of my favorite series are network procedurals), but it makes no sense to me given that Sundance is supposed to be an "artistic" network aimed at a sophisticated adult audience, and WE's programming outside of reruns is straight up raunchy reality trash. I remember commenting elsewhere on these forums that I always found it ironic that WE would drop audio on the word chubby in the line "I get a chubby just thinking about her" when they aired "Working Mom" and then go to a commercial about their new series featuring couples having sex in a box. I sort of hope that it comes down to some sort of stupid legal thing where TNT had exclusive rights to the uncut network versions way back and it's never been dropped when they renewed the contract so the other networks get the cuts designed so that some station in Omaha didn't have to deal with too many FCC complaints. Because if it's just laziness and nobody caring about what they are airing it's so much worse. Lawyers and bureaucratic inertia are just part of life we all have to deal with, but carelessness or not being able to be bothered is so much worse!

I’ve never noticed ION censoring things, it’s Sundance and WE ironically enough that do it, they censor the smallest things and yet Sundance regularly shows extremely violent R rated movies and WE’s whole programming is reality trash. It’s a fucking joke that L&O gets censored, it isn’t a Disney show and it’s viewers are mature, and this show aired uncensored on NBC in the 90’s. And it’s funny what they censor as well, they bleep a ton of sexual references, and sometimes they bleep slurs but sometimes they don’t. It’s incredibly distracting. 

[WendyCR72]

4 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

I’ve never noticed ION censoring things, it’s Sundance and WE ironically enough that do it, they censor the smallest things and yet Sundance regularly shows extremely violent R rated movies and WE’s whole programming is reality trash. It’s a fucking joke that L&O gets censored, it isn’t a Disney show and it’s viewers are mature, and this show aired uncensored on NBC in the 90’s. And it’s funny what they censor as well, they bleep a ton of sexual references, and sometimes they bleep slurs but sometimes they don’t. It’s incredibly distracting. 

ION definitely censors. Can't remember a Mothership example off the bat, but I know, when airing CI, the line, "You prick!" at the end of S10's "Icarus" was cut. Also, S1 had the line from "Semi-Professional", "He pissed himself..." also cut. (The whole "Does your father know you're a whore?" scene in "Rispetto" seems to be cut by all, except, I think either WE or USA when it airs late at night.)

Oh, and Captain Hannah saying Jack Driscoll breathes "Douchebag" in "The Last Street In Manhattan" is almost always cut.

So with this many cuts to CI, I'm betting ION does the same to the Mothership.

But then, ION doesn't shock me as it used to be PAX, which had Christian/religious roots.

[wknt3]

On 2/27/2018 at 5:46 PM, WendyCR72 said:

ION definitely censors. Can't remember a Mothership example off the bat, but I know, when airing CI, the line, "You prick!" at the end of S10's "Icarus" was cut. Also, S1 had the line from "Semi-Professional", "He pissed himself..." also cut. (The whole "Does your father know you're a whore?" scene in "Rispetto" seems to be cut by all, except, I think either WE or USA when it airs late at night.)

Oh, and Captain Hannah saying Jack Driscoll breathes "Douchebag" in "The Last Street In Manhattan" is almost always cut.

So with this many cuts to CI, I'm betting ION does the same to the Mothership.

But then, ION doesn't shock me as it used to be PAX, which had Christian/religious roots.

I've observed the same thing with CI, but I can't say I'm familiar enough with the mothership on ION since my DVR is set to record only TNT and WE. @Xeliou66 could be correct though. If so that would be pretty conclusive evidence that it is not capricious standards of what is or is not acceptable to broadcast, or any sort of contractual limits, but a simple lack of caring - the networks just run the package they get whether it's the unedited version or the censored for broadcast syndication cut and they don't pay any attention to the content unless they need to squeeze in a few more ads or a promo or something. Which is pretty depressing, but not all that surprising really.

[radishcake]

Hey guys! Can we move general talk re: censorship to the general threads and save this one for actual quotes? Thank you! 

[MarylandGirl]

Suspect, regarding a parking stub: You didn't find that in my car, you put it there.

Briscoe: I knew those fake parking stubs would come in handy someday.

[Xeliou66]

From Showtime, when McCoy is complaining about the TV analysts breaking down the trial

Ross “Next time try the Cartoon Network”

McCoy “That was the Cartoon Network!” 

Always makes me laugh. The 3 parter isn’t popular with a lot of people but I like it, I liked how the investigation and trial was more in depth and there were lots of funny quotes and memorable moments from each character. I disliked the Curtis  personal shit, but other than that I liked the 3 parter. The closing lines are some of the best in L&O history 

Schiff “Take the rest of the week off”

McCoy “It’s Friday Adam”

Schiff “So it is. See you on Monday”. 

[MarylandGirl]

Suspect: "First of all, I'm not a drug dealer."

Abbie: "Right, you just collect rare cocaine."

"True North"

[Xeliou66]

From The Pursuit of Happiness in season 4, when a case isn’t going well

Schiff “Quick, lock the door, somebody might walk in with a case we can win!” and then Schiff to Stone a minute later “I wouldn’t count your chickens, your omelet just hit the fan!”. Schiff had some of the best and most memorable lines, he was awesome.

Edited June 13, 2018 by Xeliou66

[Xeliou66]

From Human Flesh Search Engine 

Bernard to an anonymous caller harassing him : “Screw You”

Van Buren “I take it that wasn’t your mother”

Bernard “That was some guy calling me a Nazi. You know an hour ago I got a call from someone telling me I needed to go on a diet”

Lupo “Maybe that was your mother!!” 

[wknt3]

3 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

From Human Flesh Search Engine 

Bernard to an anonymous caller harassing him : “Screw You”

Van Buren “I take it that wasn’t your mother”

Bernard “That was some guy calling me a Nazi. You know an hour ago I got a call from someone telling me I needed to go on a diet”

Lupo “Maybe that was your mother!!” 

 

That is a great epsiode for dialogue throughout, both the writing and the delivery. My other favorite from this one -

McCoy: “That place on the world wide web?”
Rubirosa: ”Actually, they don’t call it that anymore.”
McCoy: “Excuse me, should I have said wireless telegraph?”

[Raja]

I don't know if this has been said but it rotated back on TNT.

Rey Curtis to a suspects grandmother: "I'm with the police I don't lie" 

The face acting from Jerry Orbach, S. Epatha Merkerson and some extra playing a uniformed officer in the background reacting to him out of abuela's eyesight was priceless

[GHScorpiosRule]

“Subterranean Homeboy Blues”

Stone: “Do you have any other personal views on this subject you’d like to air before we walk into court and Ms. Shambala Green hands us our asses on a platter?”

Me:😂😂😂😂😂

It’s all in Moriarty’s delivery!!!!

[Xeliou66]

Some awesome Lennie quotes from season 12 episodes I’m watching tonight 

From Slaughter, when him and Green are interrogating the killer, a butcher and he looked panicked, Lennie quips “you look like you’re about to have a cow”, very funny given that the episode was about contaminated beef. Also when arresting the head of a fast food company that covered up an e-coli outbreak and the guy says he wants his lawyer, Lennie says “you want fries with that!”

Then in Dazzled - at the start when they find the body of a woman who’s been pushed off the roof into a neighbors yard, and Green comments on how nice the property is, Lennie quips “no wonder the neighbors keep dropping in!” His delivery and Green’s subsequent facial expression are awesome, one of my all time favorite Lennie quotes.

[Xeliou66]

I love the final scene in Competence with McCoy and Van Buren at the bar and McCoy tells Van Buren about his dad and how if his dad had been held up at the ATM he would’ve shot both kids, and Van Buren asks if he would’ve taken him before a grand jury, and McCoy replies “damn right. I would’ve gotten an indictment too!!” That was one of the first times we really saw Jack and Anita interact and it was a memorable scene.

And then in Precious when they are talking about the husband protecting the sicko mom who was killing her babies and staging them as crib deaths, and they were talking about the probability of her being guilty and McCoy says if he was her husband he would want her stopped, and Schiff replies “with a 15% chance she’s innocent, I wouldn’t tell that to the next Mrs. McCoy!!” That quote was a funny moment in an otherwise very serious episode.

Virtue has some good one liners, Adam says of the councilman “he’s a pig he belongs in a sty not a prison” and before that when they are talking about how his accuser felt like she was raped he says “unfortunately the people who drafted the penal code aren’t bouncing around in her head”. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

"We called you Father. How could you do that to us? How could you do that to your own kid?"

"Bad Faith"

 

[Cristofle]

On 12/6/2021 at 4:23 PM, GHScorpiosRule said:

"We called you Father."

Chills. To this day, I get chills even thinking of Noth's delivery of that line.

Mayhem has like a billion great quotes, but I always remember Logan and Van Buren discussing the guy whose wife cut his...member off:

Van Buren: "What kind of life is this guy going to have without..."

Logan: "Maybe he has loftier pursuits.

Van Buren: "What, you think he plays the clarinet?"

Logan: "I HOPE he plays the clarinet."

[Xeliou66]

The season 7 3-parter has a slew of great quotes, it was on earlier today, and while I know the episodes get some hate from some, but I like them and they have some really memorable quotes, particularly McCoy to the California judge “speak up Your Honor, there are some people in the Bronx who didn’t hear you”, I loved that line, and also, when Jack was cross-examining Newman about his movies and brought up his animated movies and quipped “A daring neo-realist foray into Jellystone Park” that’s a great line.

And of course the ending lines are some of the best and most memorable in L&O history

Schiff “Take the rest of the week off”

McCoy “It’s Friday, Adam” 

Schiff “So it is. See you on Monday!!”

Iconic ending.

[GHScorpiosRule]

"Blood"

Van Buren to Suspect: "Hello, My Brother."

[Xeliou66]

From Memo From the Dark Side, the 1st episode of season 20

Cutter to the guy who wrote the torture memo “Mr Franklin, what is it about this country that you don’t get?”. I loved that line, and I absolutely hated that smug turd Franklin who seemed to take joy in teaching people how to torture prisoners and get off the hook for it, he seemed downright sociopathic.

Also McCoy to the federal prosecutor David who used to work for him that made the motion to have the case dismissed, and who accused him of giving aid and comfort to the enemy “What are you accusing me of?!!” Just the rage in Jack’s voice as he said it was perfect. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

“Bad Girl”

Kathy Stabler Monica: “You know something, Bitch. I don’t care how this goes down.”

Van Buren: “I beg your pardon?”

Kathy Stabler Monica: “Bitch.”

Van Buren: “Oh, you wanna take me on, Little Girl? Let me tell you something. You better be packing more than a dirty mouth.”

Me: BOOM!

[Xeliou66]

1 minute ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

“Bad Girl”

Kathy Stabler Monica: “You know something, Bitch. I don’t care how this goes down.”

Van Buren: “I beg your pardon?”

Kathy Stabler Monica: “Bitch.”

Van Buren: “Oh, you wanna take me on, Little Girl? Let me tell you something. You better be packing more than a dirty mouth.”

Me: BOOM!

Van Buren had some really awesome lines and I love her personality.

I saw DWB today, and I loved Van Buren’s interaction with Ray-Ray the nervous witness who said he didn’t want trouble with the man and her saying “in this house, I’m the man”.

[Xeliou66]

From Blood Is Thicker, season 2

After the elitist matriarch of the Ryder family calls her daughter in law’s lover “someone so foreign”, Cerreta replies “yes he’s from the West Side”. I love that subtle takedown of the elitist snob. 

[shapeshifter]

On 8/8/2018 at 4:07 PM, Xeliou66 said:

From Human Flesh Search Engine——Bernard to an anonymous caller harassing him : “Screw You”

Van Buren “I take it that wasn’t your mother”

Bernard “That was some guy calling me a Nazi. You know an hour ago I got a call from someone telling me I needed to go on a diet”

Lupo “Maybe that was your mother!!” 

It just occurred to me that maybe Lupo/Jeremy Sisto had actually met Bernard’s/Anthony Anderson’s mother, “Mama Doris,” of recent To Tell The Truth fame, heh.

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

From Blood Is Thicker, season 2

After the elitist matriarch of the Ryder family calls her daughter in law’s lover “someone so foreign”, Cerreta replies “yes he’s from the West Side”. I love that subtle takedown of the elitist snob. 

Yeah, I especially appreciated that retort because recently my elderly uncle (who himself was born and raised in Newark NJ) actually said a certain public figure should “go back where she came from;” I replied to my uncle: “The Bronx?”

[GHScorpiosRule]

“Narcosis”

Jack: “Everything’s an addiction now.”

Skoda: “His grades go down? Stepping back from his friends. And he’s hunched down over a keyboard ten hours a day. What would you call it?”

Jack: “Stupid.”

Me: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Arcadiasw]

"Sunday in the park with Jorge"

Lennie is getting statements from a man and woman who found the body. He's single. She's married and wants to keep her identity private. 

Man: Officially, she's still married to another individual.

Lennie: Did she murder him?

Woman: God, no!

Lennie: We're homicide. Anything else you have to take up with the Adultery Squad. Name?

The way Ed looks at Lennie and turns away you know he was trying to hide his laughter. 🤣

[Xeliou66]

From Myth of Fingerprints when Rodgers tells Briscoe and Green about fibers found on the body and that the fibers are used to make work uniforms, and Briscoe says maybe it was a cable guy, Green quips “yeah right, like they ever show up”. That line made me laugh. 

[Xeliou66]

Schiff from Season 4 Episode 15 Kids, on a judge and her decisions “if she gets overturned anymore she’ll be walking upside down!!”. I love Schiff and his one liners, he’s awesome.

[TakomaSnark]

I love in 'Hate' when Briscoe walks into the interrogation room and barks at the Nazi, 'Get up, Adolf.'

[Xeliou66]

From C.O.D, the season 14 finale and Briscoe’s final episode, Briscoe has a great one liner to the wife of the victim who has become the prime suspect in the murder “your husband had sexual narcolepsy, he kept falling into bed!!”. That was a hilarious line. 

[Xeliou66]

From Knock Off, season 19 episode 5 

Lady who was running the AA and NA meetings at the upstate church “I have to answer to a higher authority” 

Bernard “So do we. You haven’t met our Lieutenant!!”

[GHScorpiosRule]

"Reality Bites"

Mike: "They've chosen Arthur Branch to be the judge" (new reality show)

Jack: Deadpan "You're kidding, right?" (Fade to black...end of show)

Me: 😅😂😂

 

[Prairie Rose]

From "Sweeps":

Ben: By the way, Adam, the father fired his lawyer, he's going pro se.

Adam: Jerk.

It was all in Steven Hill's delivery, as always! 😂😂😂😂😂

[Prairie Rose]

From "Benevolence", when Briscoe/Logan are wading through trash to find a printout from the deaf victim's apartment:

Briscoe: How many apartments are in this building?
Logan: Thirty.
Briscoe: Do they ALL have to eat eggs?

😂😂😂😂😂

[Halting Hex]

Quote

The boys' alibi was that they were at Madison Square Garden for an NHL game, NY Rangers v. Quebec Nordiques:

LOGAN:  Quebec?  That's like playing against an empty net!
1.19, "The Serpent's Tooth"

So true.  Les Nordiques really earned the #1 pick that got them the rights to Eric Lindros (and a passel of picks and players when they traded Lindros to Philly).

Quote

After questioning the bartender at cop bar that has become a gay bar:

REY:  This place is a gold mine.  Ten guys for every guy
LENNIE:  Yeah, when I used to come in here, it was all guys, too.  Except we had the Giants game on.

6.10, "Remand"

And, of course, the one and only Michael Dobson

Quote

DOBSON:  You don't have to tell me I'm a son-of-a-bitch; I know I'm a son-of-a-bitch.  I like it:  the hours are good and there's no heavy lifting.  But I happen to be a son-of-a-bitch whose wife was shot by some other son-of-a-bitch!

5.02, "Coma"

Well…technically true, but…

Edited February 23, 2022 by Halting Hex

[Prairie Rose]

My favorite quote from the series 20th season finale:

Lupo: Fishing for a needle in the ocean. Old Chinese saying.

Van Buren: Just do it. Old American saying.

[Halting Hex]

Ah, made me remember!

Quote

VAN BUREN (quoting):  "The Gay Ghost"?
LUPO:  He was cheerful.

20.22-"Love Eternal"

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by Halting Hex

[Prairie Rose]

How about arresting a suspect who had supposedly stolen a telescope?

Briscoe:  You remember the seven rings of Saturn? Well, these are the two rings of Rikers!

- "Evil Breeds"

[katie9918]

Skoda had a great line in the finale about having enough to keep him entertained, along with a visible ace bandage around his hand while they all still thought they were chasing a student.

 

Come to think of it, as awesome as he always generally was, Skoda was wrong at least as often as he was right, or is it just me?

[Xeliou66]

1 minute ago, katie9918 said:

Skoda had a great line in the finale about having enough to keep him entertained, along with a visible ace bandage around his hand while they all still thought they were chasing a student.

 

Come to think of it, as awesome as he always generally was, Skoda was wrong at least as often as he was right, or is it just me?

I didn’t think Skoda was wrong often, I thought Skoda was usually spot on. 

[katie9918]

Just now, Xeliou66 said:

I didn’t think Skoda was wrong often, I thought Skoda was usually spot on. 

Maybe it’s just that Agony made such an impression on me (he did get the serial killer completely wrong, admittedly with very little correct information) that i convinced myself. But it didn’t stop me from loving Skoda at the time and to this day.

God, I love this show. I’ll just watch it over again and remember how I got that impression. I remember believing he was completely right and Olivet, while well-intentioned, was completely wrong in Killerz.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Stone: “This offer is commensurate with the serious impact on the moral fiber of this community.” (Not sure if the first two words are correct as CC didn’t display them)

Hooker to her pimp: “You hear that, Andrew? FIBER! I told you we Aaalll need Fiber.”

Me:😂😂😂😂

”By Hooker, By Crook” in arraignment court.

Trivia: Wolf, who worked on Miami Vice at the time, penned the episode with Melanie Griffith as a Madam, with the same title.

[katie9918]

47 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Stone: “This offer is commensurate with the serious impact on the moral fiber of this community.” (Not sure if the first two words are correct as CC didn’t display them)

Hooker to her pimp: “You hear that, Andrew? FIBER! I told you we Aaalll need Fiber.”

Me:😂😂😂😂

”By Hooker, By Crook” in arraignment court.

Trivia: Wolf, who worked on Miami Vice at the time, penned the episode with Melanie Griffith as a Madam, with the same title.

Meanwhile, I’m reminded that Ben Stone got a lot of great lines that were complemented, even by undercutting, by his scene partner/foil…

Edited February 24, 2022 by katie9918

[Prairie Rose]

Suspect's Father: My son's a moron but not a murderer.

Abbie: So he's only half a chip off the old block.

- "Trade This"

😂😂😂😂😂

[katie9918]

1 hour ago, Prairie Rose said:

Suspect's Father: My son's a moron but not a murderer.

Abbie: So he's only half a chip off the old block.

- "Trade This"

😂😂😂😂😂

Damn, Abbie was usually awesome, Adam not withstanding.

 

Edited February 24, 2022 by katie9918

[Prairie Rose]

Two jewels from "Sundown":

Green: What's that on your phone? Brains?

Rodgers: It's egg salad - maybe.

Green: You got another phone?

Later...

Briscoe : When will you know what time Mrs. Hallenbeck was attacked?

Rodgers: Tomorrow morning. Maybe earlier. Right now I gotta get a javelin out of somebody's chest.

Briscoe: What made you go into this line of work?

Rodgers: Free javelins.

The completely deadpan expression on Rodgers' face just had me rolling!!! 😂😂😂😂😂