Scorecard time! As noted in other threads, I've already been accidentally spoiled for the HoH result, which sucks, but at least allows me the luxury of Zaprudering the pre-comp scenes without feeling compelled to see the HoH action. Because, you know, the problem with my posts is they're not long enough. (Oh, eyeroll!)
• Cliff, the Camp Segregation evictees were not "more than half [your] age", they were "less than" half of your 54 years. (Kemi is 25, Ovi is 22). Except for David, who's 29. So really, either way, this "half" concept doesn't work.
If all petroleum engineers have as weak a grasp of math as Cliff does, suddenly the Deepwater Horizon disaster makes a bit more sense.
• "It's the old guy." Tommy, your mother called. She'd like me to tell you that 54 is not "old", it's middle-aged. (56 is the new 36, jerk!)
"Older" would have been okay. "Old"…not so much. Maybe you'll understand once you're a little older.
• "I really feel…betrayed. Disgusted, really." Amusing to see Nick struggle to process his emotions while the "Nick: Therapist" title is on the screen. How does it feel to be on the other side of the [DR] couch, Dr. Fraud?
• "I could have tried to flip the vote last week!" Er, Doc…you did, remember? You/Bella/Sam/Cliff/Nicole all wanted to keep Kemi; you just abandoned the idea once you couldn't find a 6th vote. (Kathryn being loyal to Jessica, as further shown by her use of the veto in Week 3, and the 5 "Shooters" who were eligible to vote wanted to help HoH Jack eliminate the "threat" to his game.) The fact that you were invested in trying is probably where Jackson got the idea to impugn you by casting the hinky vote in the first place. Nice retcon…don't you know that altering medical records is a felony? (Thanks, Law & Order ep 1.01, "Prescription for Death")
• Poor Kat. Her possible new showmance got the Golden Toe, and her "pump-and-dump" ex is still around, probably looking for Round Two once Holly finds what's left of her self-respect. (I can only dream…did she check the Storage Room?) Icky, as in "mICHIE".
• No, wait, it looks as though Jackson's lining up Nicole as Bachelorette #3. Oh, joy.
I mean if he wasn't an utter dick and…problematic in so many ways, I'd probably be happy for her. She's never even written the equivalent of "Michie & Niccie" in her [non-existent] trapper-keeper before, I'm sure. I think one of his legs has more muscle than her whole body, honestly.
But…he is what he is. Careful, girl. Seriously.
Hey, Nicole, they have to play to their strengths, you know? You can't say they weren't convincing in the part, can you? "[Act] what you know" and all that.
• "That doesn't happen to me a lot in my life." Eek! She's just sitting on the plate, ready for him to scoop her up, isn't she? If they're banging before the middle of the episode, I wouldn't be that shocked, honestly. No, no, Nicole!
And here I thought that my knowing the comp result would kill all the anxiety-making suspense…
• Trashabella calls the people who just blindsided her "stupid". Yeah, that'll help. Keep digging that grave, babe.
• "There's not an alliance." Says the man who's in at least three alliances (6 Shitters, H8ful, Nasty9), not to mention a showmance and a bromance. Right, that's gonna fly. Good one, Jackson.
Which is also not a denial. Well, at least you can't say they weren't honest with you…this week. So there's that.
• Trashabella says "unde9able" so loudly that Jessica [apparently] overhears it through the door. Even when Trashabella's not outing alliances on purpose, she still does it. Know your role, I guess.
• Jack keeps smacking his fist right in front of Bella. Aww, and here we thought he'd be lost without Kemi and Ovi to intimidate! As long as there's even one PoC left in House, the "hits" will keep on coming, I suppose.
• "It's like they all had some final eight or something!"
Boy, nobody's putting anything past you, huh, Jessica? And it's only Day 30! Girl Power!
(Except for the part where she can't count how many people are actually in the room, or notice that the alliance name she just heard has the number "9" in it. But hey, by Week 18 or so, she should be totally up to speed!)
• You know, if I had been able to watch any of the previous 10 Fast and Furious movies, I might like Hobbs & Shaw. At least I'm enjoying the ads.
• And the traditional Week 4 endurance comp, which would make perfect sense this week since the CampBack comp already forced the HoH to Sunday's show anyhow, is somehow replaced by…a questions comp. Gee, I'm sure glad TPTB don't have their thumb on the scales for Cliff, or anything like that. Nuh-uh!
• "We're going to eliminate two people every round, because we're too lazy to make up enough spare questions."
• "I.Am.Here.To.Win! It's mine! I feel it." I'd like to think that even if I wasn't spoiled for the result, I'd know this means Nicole goes out on the first question. But that might be cheating, I'd admit.
• Yup. Called it. A little TOO obvious, BB.
(Actually, I think Nicole might have thrown it. She knows 6 Shitters went out on a limb to blindside Nick…why not let one of them be the one to put him up? Keep your hands clean. And it's not as if Bella would nominate her when she feels as betrayed as she does now.)
• The bicycle appears SIX times. Not really "twice", Bella. Or even twice twice, for that matter.
(Also, "syncing cycles"?? Tacky, BB.)
• AnalFleas is as good at counting as she is at spelling, it seems. And at least Jessica's consistent in her miscounting.
("Getting Nailed"? Gee, the comp design team is having way more fun with the season than the editors are, it appears.)
• Man, Tommy barely reaches Jack's shoulder. Is there a height limit on gay HGs, these days?
• Cliff's victory celebration appears to entail mock-garroting himself. Alrighty, then.
• Jackson's plan is actually…not horrible. I mean, I assume there's no way Cliff will "pawn" him against Nick or Bella, but now that he has Christie's commitment to use the Panic Power, even if two of the Six are nommed, all they have to do is win the Veto and backdoor someone whom they could vote out. With 10 votes (again) in play, they'd need someone besides the five votes they're sure of, and Nicole might feel too loyal to Cliff to vote out even Bella if he said no, but I think they could find somebody Kat would be glad to boot. I can't see Kat being 100% on Team Cliff, in all circumstances.
• Kat's implants are really looking nice, I must say. I'm not sure why you would go for the Deluxe Economy Package if you wanted to be a dancer, but I guess her idea of "making the team" was more about off-field activities than on…
• No, don't have Christie reveal the power, dummy! Keep that in your back pocket, braintrust! Ugh…
(Sorry, I'm trying to protect my fantasy team, here. Just keep the girls safe, Jackson. The last thing I want is Christie/Bella noms. Let it go, Lego.)
• Jack is both kick-ass and kiss-ass! He's a true Renaissance Douche, yo!
• Cliff (and by "Cliff", I mean "Production") absolutely sucks at drama. I have no problem with nominating the Jackholes, but you put Jackson in the first spot! That way, we get a moment of seeing him thinking that Cliff went for his "pawn" deal…and then you see him collapse when he sees whom he is sitting next to. You need to contract construct these reveals a bit better, dudes!
• I'm surprised they let Jack shave, as now his nomination picture doesn't match his appearance. They must not have thought he was a block candidate so soon. Oops.
• "And will [the Veto] be used to save either Jackson, Jack, or Michie from eviction?" LMAO! I love it when they give Clayton good lines! (They've probably been sitting on that one all season.)
Okay, so let's hope that Bella gets picked, wins Veto and locks the noms. I could live with that.
(I mean, I still want Trashabella gone before too long, but she could rack up a few pts for me before she heads to Jury, I'm just saying. And it would be awesome if Jack got tossed before the inevitable Jury Battleback. Manifest!)