S03.E08: Credit Scores and Background Checks

[Athena]

Segments: The Panama Papers, Alabama Governor Robert Bently's alleged ethics violations, credit scores in the United States and background checks

[OneWhoLurks]

WELCOME TO EQUIFACKS.

A company that takes an animal from a shelter that needs a good home, lets it come to your house to lick peanut butter off your dick, and then immediately returns it to the shelter.

 

We also blind small animals with cosmetics.

We do not sell cosmetics. We just blind animals.

 

Please do not mistake us for Equifax.

Those fuckers are evil.

 

 

http://www.equifacks.com/

 

Welcome to EXPERIANNE

 

A company that specializes in whispering passages from "Mein Kampf" into the ears of babies, without the permission of parents or the babies themselves.

 

We don't know how we make money from this — probably from targeted advertising or something. But you know what they say: "Do what you love, and the money will follow!"

 

We are Experianne. Please do not mistake us for Experian. What they do is unforgivable.

 

 

http://www.experianne.com/

 

Hey, everyone! Welcome to TramsOnion!

 

We're a company whose only

business is selling steaks made out

of dead orcas from SeaWorld!

 

You can wash your steak

down with a refreshing glass of dolphin

tears!

 

To be clear: These are tears cried by

actual dolphins that are forced to watch as

we carve steaks from the carcasses of

their dead orca friends.

 

We are not affiliated with

TransUnion. We are not monsters.

 

 

http://www.tramsonion.com/

[attica]

I have excused myself from interviews when I learn that hiring is contingent upon a credit check. Sorry, employers, you don't get to know how much money I owe and to whom. And, you know, there's that thing where it doesn't do squat about predicting fraud. So if you're an employer who is stupid enough to buy that codswallop, you and I will be a Bad Fit.

[revbfc]

The credit story just reminded me of how scary these companies are. We know about the errors they make, but what is the possibility that personal vendettas could be mounted by employees against unwitting people? If the companies are unwilling to fix mistakes on reports, it should be easy (for an employee in the right position) to place false information in them on purpose with the intent to harm.

Edited April 11, 2016 by revbfc

[Lion]

I couldn't stop laughing after the part where the newscaster called him Jon Stewart.  No idea how Oliver kept a straight face with that one.  

 

About personal vendettas and credit companies.  They can be mounted by anyone, not just people working at the credit reporting companies.  Actually, it would probably be harder for a TransUnion/Experian/Equifax employee to do it because they'd be under more scrutiny.  However, nearly everyone I come into more than casual contact with has the ability to screw me over if I piss them off.  It's happened before.  An ex got mad that she was turned into an ex, had my social security number (because those things are never ever secure considering they need to be put on every document imaginable), applied for a shit ton of credit, used it, then didn't pay.  I knew it was her, she'd even used her own mailing address for some of the stuff.  But there was pretty much no way for me to prove it in a court of law.  I spent years trying to get that cleared up without having to drain my entire savings.  

 

My story isn't even an unusual one.  In the course of this happening and discussing it with those around me, so many of the people I knew came forward with their own stories of how so-and-so sought revenge by fucking with their credit.  I'm lucky in that I have the ability to be choosey, but I also give the finger to things like employers that require credit checks for jobs.  I don't work for ridiculously dumb or discriminatory people.  

[revbfc]

I couldn't stop laughing after the part where the newscaster called him Jon Stewart. No idea how Oliver kept a straight face with that one.

About personal vendettas and credit companies. They can be mounted by anyone, not just people working at the credit reporting companies. Actually, it would probably be harder for a TransUnion/Experian/Equifax employee to do it because they'd be under more scrutiny. However, nearly everyone I come into more than casual contact with has the ability to screw me over if I piss them off. It's happened before. An ex got mad that she was turned into an ex, had my social security number (because those things are never ever secure considering they need to be put on every document imaginable), applied for a shit ton of credit, used it, then didn't pay. I knew it was her, she'd even used her own mailing address for some of the stuff. But there was pretty much no way for me to prove it in a court of law. I spent years trying to get that cleared up without having to drain my entire savings.

My story isn't even an unusual one. In the course of this happening and discussing it with those around me, so many of the people I knew came forward with their own stories of how so-and-so sought revenge by fucking with their credit. I'm lucky in that I have the ability to be choosey, but I also give the finger to things like employers that require credit checks for jobs. I don't work for ridiculously dumb or discriminatory people.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Causing pain like that is never OK, and I hope you eventually had (or will have) a resolution that allows you to breathe easy.

[peeayebee]

I couldn't stop laughing after the part where the newscaster called him Jon Stewart.  No idea how Oliver kept a straight face with that one.  

OMG, me too. That was so great.

 

I just really loved this ep. I kept thinking what a national treasure John Oliver is. 

 

The Alabama story was perfect. Loved his pointing out that the flag means no, don't do this. And the final line about the three men in this impeachment story being either the worst thing ever or the most Alabamian thing ever was soooo good.

 

The credit story was infuriating, but well done. I admit I don't check my reports regularly. I need to start doing that.

 

Loved seeing the bit about the Yankees fans.

[Lion]

I'm sorry that happened to you. Causing pain like that is never OK, and I hope you eventually had (or will have) a resolution that allows you to breathe easy.

Thank you!  With credit, I've more reached a space where I just don't care about my credit score anymore.  It does help that I put a 'hold' on my credit so that I must go through an extra step when I apply for anything (to be honest, this feature sucks and rarely works).  

 

Though when I really think about it, I think I might just live with a lot of unexamined anxiety.  Recently, someone I am acquainted with had cause to meet my maternal grandparents.  My worry about the situation wasn't transportation, or what to serve for lunch, or even whether or not my racist, misogynist white grandfather would say something racist or misogynist.  It was the fact that now this acquaintance would know my mother's maiden name and I started to fret over whether or not she also knew my birthday.  It's totally irrational paranoid thinking to go down that route with these things, but it's hard to help.  

 

And I don't mean to make this a pity party for myself at all.  I mostly want to be clear that this thing that happened to me has happened to so many people.  It's almost stupidly easy to intentionally screw with someone's credit.  That coupled with random unintentionally errors that plague the credit reporting industry makes me furious that it's used to prevent so many people from gainful employment.  

[dusang]

Though when I really think about it, I think I might just live with a lot of unexamined anxiety.  Recently, someone I am acquainted with had cause to meet my maternal grandparents.  My worry about the situation wasn't transportation, or what to serve for lunch, or even whether or not my racist, misogynist white grandfather would say something racist or misogynist.  It was the fact that now this acquaintance would know my mother's maiden name and I started to fret over whether or not she also knew my birthday.  It's totally irrational paranoid thinking to go down that route with these things, but it's hard to help. 

 

So we're officially on two ends of the anxiety spectrum.  My sister named her first-born our mother's maiden name.  I'm almost positive there are security questions somewhere in my banking profile based on that and I've thought to myself several times over the past two and a bit years since the naming that I should probably seek out those security questions and change them but haven't yet.  Usually when considering identity theft or credit fraud I think, "maybe the thief will look at my financial situation and just think I need the money more than they do."  It's a really absurd way to live.

 

I've never had a job application ask for my credit history but I have seen it on rental applications, which is technically illegal in my jurisdiction.  Unfortunately, the rental market is so fiercely competitive that refusing to answer the question just means you won't get the place and someone else will.

[ganesh]

The credit bureaus are both massively incompentent and criminal organizations that should be brought to rubble under RICO.

 

I get my credit reports every year. I really recommend everyone do that. Fixing all those little errors and verifying your true information will bump up your credit score. 

 

The last 2 years were the first time there were no errors since I started getting them in 1999. I was denied housing because of errors on my report. All the time there's been information that's been flat out wrong, or typically someone else's information got on my report. I've had to prove I'm not a woman, didn't open a department store account when I was 1 y/o, and prove I was out of the country at the time I supposedly was gassing up my car that I don't own in Florida. And of course, the burden is entirely on you to fix it. It's so hard to prove the negative: I wasn't there, I don't own that house. Plus, you have to do everything in writing. Calling them up to dispute something is worthless, and they yell at you. So it's a rather costly for errors that aren't your fault. 

 

Across the board, all the service reps were rude, insulting, and totally ignorant.  

 

I have to laugh at the Judith/Judy error. "Wow" John? I've had names not even remotely close to my own name on my report numerous times. I'm surprised it took her 6 years though because I've always been able to clear everything up in 6-8 months. I finally got fed up in 2005 or 2006 and paid to place a total freeze on my reports. Your credit actually takes a hit if too many entities request your report.

 

That web site is complete garbage too. They ask you "questions" to verify your identity, but if you fail the questions then you have to pay anyway. So if there's errors on the report, they base the questions on the errors, and you fail. Because "none of the above" is never one of the answers. 

Edited April 11, 2016 by ganesh

[Skyfall]

The Yankees bit all the way down to "HBO host Jon Stewart" had me rolling!

[attica]

I've had to hand over my fico score for apartment rentals, but no history. Which offends me less, I guess. Strangers knowing my score doesn't bother me the way knowing who my creditors are and the breakdown of my debt does.

[Jamoche]

All those credit reporting and tracking companies have always given off a strong "That's a nice credit score you've got there. Shame if anything were to ... happen to it" vibe.

[stillshimpy]

In my husband's line of work, he has to be fingerprinted in something like 42 states and as his spouse, I have to fill out financial declarations annually to prove that I'm not hiding money for him or something untoward.  So I guess I just have a high threshold for regularly scheduled financial colonoscopies.  As such none of the information in this episode made me so much as flutter an eyelid.  Run your credit often, yo.  

 

Also, just as a suggestion to anyone worrying about this:  You don't actually ever have to hand over your mother's maiden name.  You just have to use a name you can remember when asked.  

 

But I also laughed at the "HBO's Jon Stewart...."    

[fastiller]

stillshimpy, I'm in a similar spot: I've worked in banking & finance, so I've been bonded and had the full SEC background check (which, now that you mention it, is a bit like a colonoscopy).

 

During the coverage of the Mossack Fonseca thing, Oliver mentioned the President of the Ukraine.  They're saying it's because of economic issues, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were also related to the leak: the Prime Minister's stepping down.  Ukraine Prime Minister Arseniy Yatsenyuk to resign.

[dcalley]

There is a fourth credit bureau, Innovis, that almost never gets talked about for some reason. You can freeze your credit yourself at all 4 bureaus, which is a good way to prevent someone from opening up a new line of credit in your name. The credit monitoring services companies always offer after a breach are no better than just locking down your credit yourself, unless you've got issues to clear up, and then they can help.

 

I don't know what to call those shady online data sites--the ones that list people's name, age, addresses, and relatives and offer you the chance to buy a full background report--but those are scary, too. One of them has me as being about 30 years older than I am. But, of course, to get them to correct the data, you have to hand over all sorts of (confirmed) data to them. I don't want that site to know my real birth date if they don't have it already!

[Totale]

I watched John's report with interest because (I just found out) I have no credit score.  This has never affected me before. I have three checking accounts (still) open where I used to live. We are moving to a new area and my wife and I went happily down to the local credit union with $100 each cash in hand to open checking accounts. They opened one for her but refused to do so for me, not because I have a bad credit rating but because I have none.  I got in trouble with credit thirty years ago and swore off it - I've paid for everything with money I had ever since.  No equals bad in their mind, so (since I didn't qualify for any credit cards either) I had to pay out $500 bucks up front for a "secured" credit card account, which I use a couple times a month for gas and pay off when the bills come in. Maybe in a year or so, I'm told, I'll show up in the system and people who use it will believe I exist. Maybe someday I'll even get my $500 back, with no interest.

[Lion]

I know this isn't exactly completely about the show, but why would a person need credit to open a checking account?  It's definitely never been something I've needed.  Is this something new?  The only issue I ever encountered once was trying to open an account and then being told that I had to pay a monthly fee to have a checking account unless I kept a $5000 balance.  Screw that shit, I was a student waiting tables and needing to deposit cash, or so I figured.  But I don't pay to bank.  Most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

 

Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I opened a new bank account.  Probably at least 10 years ago.  I move a lot but mobile/online banking makes it unnecessary for me to change credit unions anyway.  

Edited April 13, 2016 by Lion

[theatremouse]

I know this isn't exactly completely about the show, but why would a person need credit to open a checking account?

At a bank you probably don't (?). At a credit union you do. That's how credit unions work. Credit unions are member owned so if you don't have good credit, they probably don't really want you.

[ganesh]

That's why a big place like Citibank doesn't care, but they'll charge the fee if you don't maintain a minimum balance. You can get that waived, but then you have to pay fees at non-Citi ATMs. 

[Lion]

So, finally just googled it because that has never applied in my case and after a very unscientific survey, it doesn't apply in the cases of at least 12 people I know.  To give an idea of my case, credit union account opened during childhood (connected so we'll ignore this one), different credit union account opened the day after turning 18 (zero credit at this point), another credit union account opened in the midst of destroyed credit (due to credit fraud I described above).  All of these are at different credit unions.  The only issues I ever encountered was having to verify that I was eligible to join that bank (like living in a certain county, working a certain job, etc).  This same thing came up when I queried people.  But there are thousands and thousands of different banks and credit unions so obviously there will be a lot of difference in each. 

 

So, google.  There are some banks that check credit scores, but apparently the advice for this is to turn to credit unions.  However, that doesn't mean that all credit unions don't check, merely that the requirements to join credit unions can be different.  But, there is apparently a whole other system of financial reporting scores that I didn't know about.  ChexSystems and EWS, to start.  These things are looking at stuff like bounced checks and overdraft and other transactions with a bank that might be negative.  I'm cringing at the idea that I need to monitor yet another thing, though I'm tempted to put it out of mind since it's never even been on my mind.  I will have zero need to open a new account in the foreseeable future anyway.

[OneWhoLurks]

Rep. Johnny Mack Morrow this week sent a letter to Gov. Robert Bentley, asking --well -- asking one of those things many Alabamians have been wondering about for the past few weeks.

 

What the heck were you and Rebekah Mason doing that would require moving the desk of your executive assistant Wanda?

 

[...]

 

Wanda's desk became a cultural phenomenon after HBO's John Oliver pointed out that Wanda -- former executive assistant Wanda Kelly -- could have done nothing to deserve hearing whatever she might have heard.

 

 

http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2016/04/legislator_to_gov_bentley_what.html

[Delwyn]

Not at all shocking: A CFPB investigation concluded that Transunion and Equifax deceived Americans about the reports they provided and the fees they charged.