Long Lost Family - General Discussion

[stormy]

Thanks Quof!

Then I wish TJ had asked Tammy for some info. Not that it's any of our business but it kinda completes the story.

jenifaohjenny : See if you can watch the follow-up  episode on TLC. A lot went on because a woman came forward after the first episode was aired because she has the same father. Her mom married him after he got out of prison.

Edited February 15, 2017 by stormy

[jenifaohjenny]

Yes....that's what kind of confused me because I felt like that new story from that daughter was a different story concerning what her father was arrested for - it was not kidnapping. Just wondering what the true story was in the end. 

The three sisters that were reunited, I never saw the original episode of that. The youngest one seemed to have a nice childhood in Massachusetts, but she was very bitter. Just about the fact they did not tell her until she was older? There must have been more...I hope I find that original episode on demand. 

[stormy]

I thought Sunday's show was good. Especially likeable people. Lucy is sweet. I'm glad she was able to meet her son with her future so uncertain.

Edited February 22, 2017 by stormy

[Ina123]

On the updated show with the guy in the wheelchair and his son at the birthday picnic, I'd love to hear an explanation of what her deal is with him. She was so over the top in the original episode with wanting to hear someone say, "I love you" and then this behavior. There's got to be something in between that should be explained. His son was sweet.

[ChiCricket]

I might just projecting my own personal feelings into this, but maybe the wheel chair guy was pushing religion on her, and she's uncomfortable with it. I mean, he's wearing a huge cross. Who's to say she was even brought up that way?

[Court]

I thought she was upset with his boundaries she set. She asked to live with him what seemed pretty quickly and he said no.

[Kelly]

7 minutes ago, Court said:

I thought she was upset with his boundaries she set. She asked to live with him what seemed pretty quickly and he said no.

ITA. I think they were (are) both (father and daughter) desperate for a connection/relationship. They are strangers though...they'll have to build a relationship over time, and perhaps she was jumping the gun a bit. She would be unreasonable, IMO, to cut ties w him just because he didnt think moving in together was a good idea.

[stormy]

I thought from the original episode, that the daughter was a very unhappy person and angry as well because she had not had a good childhood.  Her father looking for her was a big suprise and maybe she felt at that point that she would finally find someone who really cared about her.

Unfortunately, it's probably stretching it a bit too far to think that you can connect with someone that closely that quickly.

[Pepper Mostly]

I think the daughter (Joy) had substance problems, which the father recognized. He didn't want her moving in, which I think was the right decision. She was very vague, saying only "family should always be there for you, no matter what!" which seemed manipulative. She looked rough and unhealthy. Her father also has a history of addiction, and I'm sure he recognized that. I can see why he wouldn't want to endanger his sobriety. He has a relationship with the son and they seemed comfortable with one another. I appreciated that he respected her privacy and didn't throw her under the bus. I really liked him, he's a bit of a God-botherer but seems good hearted and sincere in his wish to be there for his adult kids in whatever way he can. I hope things go well for them.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

They were lost for a long, long time  They were found and put on TV.  What happens next? 

Here is your forum for Long Lost Family: What Happens Next.   The palate cleanser between seasons of family finding. 

[VioletNevermind]

A giant onion processing factory must have opened up near my house tonight.  The story with Chris and his mother (the recovered drug addict who was arrested while her six-year-old son was left in the car in the parking lot of a grocery store) was so touching.  I loved how forgiving he was to his mom, even kissing her hands with such comfort and love.  There is a man who has transcended any feelings of resentment and is able to view his mother as a fallible human being with flaws-- and loving her anyway.

This show is a very welcome respite from the insanity of the other train wrecks in the TLC Sunday night catalog (*cough* Sister Wives *cough*).

Edited February 27, 2017 by SuzyLee

[ChiCricket]

I really liked the update at the very end, saying Paula had a nice meeting with her birth mom in New Mexico. There was a picture of them together, and I thought they looked a lot alike.

PS @SuzyLee, I think they just opened up an onion processing plant in my neighborhood also!

Edited February 27, 2017 by ChiCricket
Added a word

[Ina123]

I loved them all tonight. Chris and Paula was a repeat. The brothers made me cry.

[PamelaMaeSnap]

On May 7, 2016 at 10:57 PM, EverybodyIsACritic said:

Heidi, the woman whose mother was 12 when she got pregnant, when they snuck the keyboard out for her, my BF completely cracked up. A moment of much-needed levity.  I did notice that Heidi's last name was Jeffs, and we saw either Mormon or LDS in reference to the bio mom on the adoption info paperwork they showed. I actually had a point I wanted to make with that, but it's escaped me. So many details with this show!

Sorry this is such a necrobump but I just recorded the first season and am bingewatching it now ... haven't watched this particular episode yet (will do it tonight) but am wondering if the point you wanted to make was that Jeffs is the last name of one of the most notorious leaders of one of the fringiest of fringey LDS sects (so a 12-year-old bride would not be surprising). 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_Jeffs

[stormy]

I agree both of Sunday's stories were good.

However, for me at least, the What Happened Next episode was nothing more than a rerun from season one.  Both of those stories were good, especially Chris and Kathleen and it would have interesting to see if things had changed since the episode first ran.

[Lindy Dear]

This is by far now one of my favorite TV programs.

[Snarklepuss]

On 2/28/2017 at 11:45 AM, stormy said:

I agree both of Sunday's stories were good.

However, for me at least, the What Happened Next episode was nothing more than a rerun from season one.  Both of those stories were good, especially Chris and Kathleen and it would have interesting to see if things had changed since the episode first ran.

I agree - I kept waiting for the part where they got to the follow up but it never happened.  It was just a repeat of the season 1 episode with Chris and Kathleen.  They said something about unseen footage but they didn't identify it and I didn't recognize anything as new.

[Quof]

I thought it was kind of mean for Joshua and Garrick to spring on their mother that they were only an hour away.  You could just tell she was the type of lady who would do her full face and hair before receiving company, and probably wanted to clean the house too.

[camom]

In tonight's episode with Tiffany in Las Vegas -- they never explained why only her mom was on the adoption papers and not her dad.  Was he listed as the father on the birth certificate, even though he wasn't?  I hate when they leave me with questions.

It was interesting how the twins reacted differently when they found out that their birth mother had been found.  I felt sorry for that mom, but good for her that she apparently has had a good life with a good family after being raised entirely in the foster system.

[Ina123]

5 hours ago, camom said:

It was interesting how the twins reacted differently when they found out that their birth mother had been found.  I felt sorry for that mom, but good for her that she apparently has had a good life with a good family after being raised entirely in the foster system.

It was. And the one twin even said, "that's how we're different". I liked the way the more calm and stoic twin comforted the more emotional twin.

Edited March 6, 2017 by Ina123

[Evagirl]

I think the interviewers try to wring too much emotion out of people.

The mother of the twins wasn't having it.  She was 14 years old when she became pregnant by a 27 year old man.  The interviewer then ask her, "Did you ever think of keeping them?"  Say what?!!!  The lady responded, "How could I when I was in foster care myself?"  And I'd like to add, "Plus I was a child!  Yes, I was physically mature, but I was mentally a child.  A grown man took advantage of me.  What's wrong with you asking me this crazy question?"  

Now that the mother knew the twins were brought up together and had a decent life, to ask her that question was, IMO, just stupid!

I sort of agree with the stoic sister that the verbiage in the letter was a little over the top.  "I've always love you" or something like that.  And then to sign it "Your loving mother"... I can understand that sister being upset.

But I'm so glad it had a happy ending.  I was getting nervous when she didn't wish the twins a happy birthday.  I was hoping, oh so badly, that she didn't forget - not after telling the interviewer she thought of them every year on their birthday.  Whew!

[iMonrey]

For some reason my DVR only started recording this season last night. Now I have to go back and see the ones I missed because I am obsessed with this show.

I got the impression that Tiffany's adopted parents really took advantage of her mother. Considering they actually went so far as to fake a pregnancy, throw baby showers, etc., it seems like they were a little "out there." If they were unable to conceive and they found this young pregnant girl - they might have gone a little overboard, beyond a normal adoption. 

[Snarklepuss]

15 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I got the impression that Tiffany's adopted parents really took advantage of her mother. Considering they actually went so far as to fake a pregnancy, throw baby showers, etc., it seems like they were a little "out there." If they were unable to conceive and they found this young pregnant girl - they might have gone a little overboard, beyond a normal adoption. 

I don't know, there was something suspicious about that whole situation and I can't put my finger on it, but I'd be willing to bet that the adoptive parents knew who the father was and part of the reason everything was "hush-hush" was to cover up the pregnancy altogether, not just to present the child as their own for their own reasons.  They may have had reasons to want to protect the father's identity from being found out.  I found the mother's answer strange when she was asked about how she met the father, which is what made me suspect that.  She may have been a rape victim and didn't want to admit that, which I could understand.

[Ina123]

I figured that she maybe was a rape victim, too. The other thought I had was possibly the bio mom did not ever want the bio father to know that he had a child, so the adoptive parents put on a charade so even the neighborhood would think it was her baby.

[Galloway Cave]

Didn't the bio mom say she got pregnant in Colorado? How did she end up in Vegas? How did the adoptive parents hide a pregnant girl in their house for all those months? Or was she just pregnant "at the same time" as the adoptive mom? The whole thing was strange. So many questions. Tiffany never asked (on camera) about her bio dad either. Hopefully there will be a follow-up to this story.

[Cara]

Yeah, I think there was more to the Tiffany story than we were told. Why would the adoptive dad say he had an affair and was her bio dad if he wasn't?

[iMonrey]

I can rationalize that Tiffany's adopted father didn't want her to think of him as anything less than her real father, but there's still a chunk of the story missing that makes the adopted mother pretending to be pregnant very odd. That's not a normal thing to do when you're adopting a kid. How the adopted parents met Tiffany's bio mom on the first place was unanswered, which is why I have a tendency to think they were sort of on the lookout for a pregnant girl they could use. Maybe they met through a personal ad or through a private attorney. The adoption certainly wasn't typical. I think both adopted parents were kind of desperate to pretend they really had a kid. And that's maybe where the "lies and shame" the bio mom referred to came from. Maybe they paid her to let them pretend it was their kid and she didn't have much choice back then.

[scootypuffjr]

Only just now have been able to watch the latest episode. I just have to say that Charlotte is the warmest, most delightful and charming person ever and I would be proud to claim her myself. Perhaps she was a little over the top with her letter, but I loved how gracious she was, how sensible, how sensitive and understanding she was of her daughters' differing reactions to finding her. For some reason, I also appreciated how she didn't break down in tears upon meeting them, like it was more about her daughters than herself, though she was obviously was very happy to see them. I liked how she decided keeping her twins together was the most important, best thing to do for them - again, more about her daughters than herself. Nice too that she brought along the rest of the family; Sheryl and Shirley really had one hell of a birthday! Funny too how their names seemed to jibe - Charlotte, Sheryl and Shirley, they all seem to fit together. As with all the reunited families, I wish them all the best going forward.

Edited March 10, 2017 by scootypuffjr

[stormy]

This was an episode where I really liked everyone.

[ElleMo]

I am binge watching now too and I am captivated by many of the stories.  I agree that the Nita/Jenny thing was off.  

I haven't seen all the episodes and didn't see the catch up episode but most of the ones that I have seen were emotionally draining.  

I think many of these people are expecting too much from the birth family and I really feel for them because I think that is too much to expect from someone you just met.  

I hope, though, that they eventually all find a way to have a relationship.

[ElleMo]

On 3/6/2017 at 1:07 AM, camom said:

In tonight's episode with Tiffany in Las Vegas -- they never explained why only her mom was on the adoption papers and not her dad.  Was he listed as the father on the birth certificate, even though he wasn't?  I hate when they leave me with questions.

It was interesting how the twins reacted differently when they found out that their birth mother had been found.  I felt sorry for that mom, but good for her that she apparently has had a good life with a good family after being raised entirely in the foster system.

 

I just finished watching this on DVR.  It was never stated, but I just assumed that it made the adoption quicker and easier.  Since the child is already in the care of her legal father and the bio mom gave an OK for an adoption. 

Once she found out she was adopted, they should have told her the entire truth.  The story about the mistress living with the parents sounded really odd.

[ElleMo]

OK, I am officially obsessed with this show.  I have watched everything that I could DVR in the past week and that was available on Demand.  I have two of the What Happened Next but haven't been able to watch the Jenny/Nita one.

Quote

I still can't get the Jenny/Nita story out of my head.  I don't know if I would be so quick to believe third hand information about her father if I were Jenny.  It seems like people who knew him could be motivated to spin his story in a more positive light to preserve a beloved memory of him, especially knowing it would appear on TV.  If he wanted to be a part of Jenny's life, why wasn't he?

 

1

I really want to see this follow up!  Without seeing it, I can completely understand why Jenny would believe her father's family over Nita.  Nita appeared on national TV describing her view of her daughter as a white girl with an Italian father.  The fact that Jenny's dad knew anything at all about her means that Nita lied and knew exactly who Jenny's father was.  It also means that in her head for years she thought of her child as white, when she clearly knew that her child was African American.  Everything she says would be suspect to me. And I can imagine how Jenny would feel completely rejected by a mother who wouldn't even admit that her child was biracial.  

The only reason I can think of her saying that the father was Italian, was she was possibly hoping that her daughter had caucasian features and being Italian  (more specifically Sicilian) could explain away any dark skin she may have had.

Edited March 13, 2017 by ElleMo

[camom]

But didn't the bio mom say that her adopted dad wasn't her bio dad?

[Ina123]

12 minutes ago, camom said:

But didn't the bio mom say that her adopted dad wasn't her bio dad?

Yes, that's the way I understood it. The bio dad was someone in Colorado whom they did not elaborate on.

Though they never said it, I'm thinking that the bio mom placed an ad for a couple to adopt or saw an ad of a couple who wanted to adopt and that's how they connected. But I never heard or got the impression that the adoptive father was really the bio dad.

[iMonrey]

Yikes, were Tammy's brothers born with fetal alcohol syndrome? I hate to say it but I wonder whether this might be one of those times the participant wishes their long-lost family had remained lost. I did like the story about Tineke though. The photos of her as a teenager we amazing, she was incredibly beautiful. How sad to think she never thought of herself that way and never felt like she fit in.

I think this could potentially be one of those times when the parent and child eventually drift apart again after the reunion - it wouldn't surprise me if Tineke's mom feels guilty about giving her up if Tineke obsesses about never feeling like she belonged. She's not quite as bad as Susan from S2E1 - the one who was looking for her mother and her daughter. She was really laying it on thick about her adopted parents never telling her they loved her and never hugging her. I'm sure she drove her birth mother away within days.

[crazycatlady58]

I was wondering the same thing about Tammy s brothers. But drinking was not even talked about as a reason the children were taken from the home.

[stormy]

I like Lisa but I wish she would tone the "we found him/her drama down a notch.

[stormy]

I wish Tammy would have told the brothers (and us) what happened to their mom. Where is she today?

[StaceyNotStacie]

I was also wondering about Tammy's brothers. They seemed a bit slow, although I was a bit distracted by their prominent noses. It was amusing that the grandmother commented that they looked like their family, but neither Tammy or her grandmother had that nose. 

I'm hoping that Tineke has a happy ending with her mother and that they have a lot of time to get to know each other. 

Edited March 13, 2017 by Stacey1014

[ElleMo]

2 hours ago, camom said:

But didn't the bio mom say that her adopted dad wasn't her bio dad?

Yes, her adopted dad was not the bio dad.  But it is the adopted dad's name on the original birth certificate, not the bio dad.  It was mentioned on the show that only the mom had to adopt her, the dad was already considered her legal dad. 

I theorized that the adopted dad had his name put on the birth certificate to make the adoption easier.  To the courts, the adoption was a step mother adopting her husband's child.  That's probably a lot easier than to have both parents adopt. 

It could also be that the bio mom didn't want there to be any paper trail with the bio father's name on it.  Or maybe both.  They never really said and the mom was very vague about who the bio-dad was.

I hope this is one of the stories that gets an update next year. I would love to find out if she learned who her bio father was.  

Edited March 13, 2017 by ElleMo

[Quof]

Said in a breathy whisper.

Edited March 13, 2017 by Quof

[Quof]

I found this week's episode sooo boring.

[ElleMo]

I just started watching Long Lost Family and I am obsessed.  I watched most of the first season and I was able to watch the a few episodes of "What Happens Next" on demand but the rest aren't available.  I loved the three sisters.  She kept the middle child but not the other two and never even told the middle one about the oldest.  They seem to really get along.  I also loved the two families - birth and adoptive who went on vacation together.

Kris' story was heartbreaking. Both her and her sister trying to reconcile the man that Jeannette described with the man that the sister (sorry, forgot her name already) remembers.  I googled David Lancey and found that he had also been in jail for bank robbery.  And it is cleared that Jeannette went through a trauma. 

[camom]

Quote

It could also be that the bio mom didn't want there to be any paper trail with the bio father's name on it.

That could be.  I had a cousin who had a baby very young.  The father dumped her when she got pregnant and she didn't want him showing up years later making a claim on the child, so she put "unknown" as the father on the birth certificate.  (A few years later she married a wonderful man who adopted her son.)

I'm not sure if Tammy's brothers were "slow," but I did think they were probably extremely shy and it was probably hard for them to be in front of the cameras.  I thought it odd that they didn't really remember Tammy much, even her name.  They were young, but not toddlers.

[iMonrey]

Quote

Yes, her adopted dad was not the bio dad.  But it is the adopted dad's name on the original birth certificate, not the bio dad. 

Actually,  there was no name for a father on the adoption records. Lisa pointed out that this probably meant the father was already a legal custodian. Tiffany had been told her father had an affair and that her father's wife adopted her and the adoption papers seemed to support that. Later when we found out her father wasn't really her biological father they failed to offer an explanation for why there was no father listed on the adoption papers.

[Ina123]

18 minutes ago, camom said:

 

I'm not sure if Tammy's brothers were "slow," but I did think they were probably extremely shy and it was probably hard for them to be in front of the cameras.  I thought it odd that they didn't really remember Tammy much, even her name.  They were young, but not toddlers.

I think they were just shy and in a picture one of the family members had that nose. I thought the boys were sweet. It was hard to hear but one of them said, "I'm holding back tears. Saving them for when we meet." Something like that. One of the most heart-warming reunions I've seen.

[ElleMo]

15 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Actually,  there was no name for a father on the adoption records. Lisa pointed out that this probably meant the father was already a legal custodian. Tiffany had been told her father had an affair and that her father's wife adopted her and the adoption papers seemed to support that. Later when we found out her father wasn't really her biological father they failed to offer an explanation for why there was no father listed on the adoption papers.

 

Oh, I didn't catch that, just that only the mom's name was on the adoption papers. That is even odder.  But it does seem that a lot of people do lots of odd things to hide an adoption

[ElleMo]

On 2/14/2017 at 7:29 PM, jenifaohjenny said:

I just watched the episode on demand where the birth mother was kidnapped and then got pregnant and gave up the baby.  But then they found a daughter of the kidnapper and she seemed to be telling a different story?  Saying that her dad did not kidnap the birth mother but was taking her for an abortion and since she was a minor, he was arrested.  Did I get that wrong?  I was confused by the end of the episode.  

It is kind of crazy how much happens after they are reunited - a lot of it is a mess!

 

The younger daughter was repeating the story that she heard.  I feel bad for her.  She knew her dad had been in some trouble but didn't think it was anything like what Jeannette (Kris' mom)  experienced.  Kris got to hear that her bio father had a good side but the sister learned some awful things about her father.  That's not a fair trade.  But I think that Jeanette's story is the truth because she does seem truly traumatized.

[Evagirl]

3 hours ago, Ina123 said:

I think they were just shy and in a picture one of the family members had that nose. I thought the boys were sweet. It was hard to hear but one of them said, "I'm holding back tears. Saving them for when we meet." Something like that. One of the most heart-warming reunions I've seen.

Also, one of the brothers talked about how they were emotionally mistreated when they were children.  This could have stunted them socially as well.  If they were told horrible things like "You'll never amount to anything", or "Nobody will ever want you", stuff like that can really damage a person.  I don't know the hurtful things said to these boys, but it appears they leaned on each other.  I'm glad they had each other since they had such a miserable childhood.  I hope Tammy and her family brings them out of their shell.

[Ina123]

I'm positive in a promo for last night's episode the young guy said, "Let's go get a beer" at the end of his meeting with bio dad. In the actual show it sounded more like, "Let's go get dinner." Maybe I just heard wrong. my hearing is so bad I should use CC all the time.