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Favorite Quotes: I had plans for that rock!

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There are many memorable quotes, some good, some bad, some humorous, some sad.  Here are a few I remember..

Matt Paxton, and lead to the title of his podcast: We're all 5 decisions away from pooping in a bucket.

Hoarder Millie(?): I had a plan for that rock!

Nadine: Can I get you pickle?  I'm in a pickle!

 

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Paraphrasing my favorite scene:

Loony hoarder: I can't give you this bag! It's my sister's! The one who my husband was having an affair with!

Husband (lurking in the background, laughing): Yeah, um. You don't HAVE a sister.

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Shelly! Yes!

(I get the hoarders on these shows mixed up...but now I remember they did a flow up show on her and she was back to the same old tricks.)

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One of my favorites was a pretty angry son-in-law who wasn't making any secret of the fact that he was frustrated beyond belief at the situation he had to deal with regarding his wife's mother's hoarding. At one point he unearthed a rental video in her pile of filth and snapped "I wonder what the late fee is on THIS!", clearly implying that it had been there for years. It was totally in the way he said it; it was beautiful.

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This has been quoted before but my all-time favorite was the woman hoarder who absolutely would not get rid of anything and her sister picked up a rock she was keeping and hurled it across the yard.  The hoarder said "I had plans for that rock!"   I still laugh about that one.................

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More gems from Nadine, when being confronted by Dorothy?

 

"Cleaning has never really been my bag."

 

And upon being asked why she left a ziplock of raw meat on the floor

 

"I've been under a lot of stress lately."

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And upon being asked why she left a ziplock of raw meat on the floor

 

"I've been under a lot of stress lately."

 

Really? Is that what we're supposed to do when we're under stress? I thought people under stress were supposed to ignore emails and not return phone calls. Oh, well, you live and learn.

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Situation: Older mom hoarder sitting outside sorting through crap. Very frustrated daughter telling her to get a move on and throw stuff away.

 

Daughter:  "Where you going to put this?" (some plate or something),

Mom:  "Up my ass!"

 

I still laugh when I think about this comment. 

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One of the other ones I remember is the woman who said something to the effect of her dead mother could crawl out of her grave and make another basket. Or maybe that was the other hoarding show.

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Jill (paraphrasing): 'It's okay to eat that.  It's not puffy'.

 

Lots of hoarders said this:  'I don't know what happened.  It just got away from me.'

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I have no idea if this is a regular Hoarders quote or an Extreme Hoarders one.

 

Loony hoarder who had her cats pee on burial shrouds the local undertaker gave her. I'm pretty sure I remember the cleaner schrink person bargaining with her over whether or not throwing them out. The word "pee cloth" was thrown around a lot and I laughed until I cried.

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I remember that one! Using those shrouds or whatever took the "ick" level to a whole new high for me.

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Lots of hoarders said this:  'I don't know what happened.  It just got away from me.'

 

 

I'm horrified by the fact that I can understand this sentiment. Yikes.

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Jill has always been my favorite hoarder.  I can't get sour cream out of my fridge without saying to my husband "What's the sour cream going to do?  Go sour?"  

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Jill has always been my favorite hoarder.  I can't get sour cream out of my fridge without saying to my husband "What's the sour cream going to do?  Go sour?"  

 

 

I am now further horrified by the fact that I've said this very thing my whole adult life! Noooooooo!

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I can't remember most of the hoarders names, and I unfortunately may not remember all of the exact details, but I will always remember the most important part of  the one where there was a hoarder couple, who I think were living in a camper because their house was just too stuffed with hoard. The husband was on oxygen and the wife just had a wretched personality.The wife was going off about something, and this amazing scene occured:

 

Husband: Do you want a pickle? (said as he's snacking on a pickle)
Wife: No, I don't want a pickle! I'm in a pickle!

 

Best line from any tv show ever!

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I can't remember most of the hoarders names, and I unfortunately may not remember all of the exact details, but I will always remember the most important part of  the one where there was a hoarder couple, who I think were living in a camper because their house was just too stuffed with hoard. The husband was on oxygen and the wife just had a wretched personality.The wife was going off about something, and this amazing scene occured:

 

Husband: Do you want a pickle? (said as he's snacking on a pickle)

Wife: No, I don't want a pickle! I'm in a pickle!

 

Best line from any tv show ever!

 

Nadine! See my post above. She was hilarious.

 

It was actually:

 

Husband: Can you get me a pickle?

Nadine: Get you a pickle? I'm in a pickle!

 

My friend and I quote this to each other all the time.

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Jill (paraphrasing): 'It's okay to eat that.  It's not puffy'.

 

ROTFLMAO!!!   Puffiness as a consumption standard.  I don't care what the experts say, you don't get HERE <------ with one trigger event ok?  If you are considering putting in your mouth something that used to be a food, but is now straining with sepsis at its container? That is not no damn garden variety depression.

 

My favorite is something almost all of them say about a "treasured" trinket, typically covered in layers of petrified feces:  "I've been looking for that" - awesome.  

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The woman who lived in a trailer with chickens.   "People say I'm a redneck....Say I'm a hoarder....I say, durn right!"

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Last week they replayed an old episode where the floor had some broken tiles, and no one could find the tile pieces and the hoarder was losing her shit. One of the cleaners did a TH saying completely deadpan, (paraphrased) "I guess we threw out the broken tile because it looked like... a broken tile." Years later that still makes me laugh.

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I can't remember the exact wording, and I can't remember anymore which Hoarders show it was, but it went something like this:

 

Horder is fixated on a broken plastic hanger - like one a shirt would hang on in a store - a cheap one.

 

Therapist:  Can I throw this broken hanger out?

Hoarder:  No!  I planned to recycle that!

Therapist:  I know the codes, and this code means it can't be recycled.

Hoarder:  Then I could break it down further and use it in a craft project!

 

I also remember someone absolutely obsessed with their Armoires.  I can't remember if it was the possum group, or TWOP, where we were going "ARRRMMMMWWAAAARRRR!" for weeks after.

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Like many of you, Nadine is my favorite. Even more than the pickle line, I always laugh hardest when Dr. Zasio (who can't quite hide her anger at Nadine) sticks her head out onto the screened porch where Nadine sits smoking, surrounded by piles of hoard, and says in her most fakey, chipper voice, "Oh there's the lady of the house!" Nadine looks at the camera and rolls her eyes.

I could watch the Zazz and Nadine together every week.

Another great moment was the hoarder who looked out over 2000 square feet of floor to ceiling crap and said, "This wouldn't happen if I had a utility closet.

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Ben (from the 'Ben and Robin and Kevin' episode); 'I could warsh 'em and use 'em again.'

 

Gee, I wonder how many hoarders have said some version of that?

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I recall back when the Possum group was in full swing, there was a family on one night that everyone called the "ass" family because they were fighting, telling each other to stick it up your, or they were going to kick your....it was every other word out of their mouth.  I posted the video of Eddie Murphy's "Boogie In Your Butt" and hilarity ensued.  I really wish they would do a follow-up with pretty much everyone who had been on the show ever.  It could be online - I'd just love to know.

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One of my all time favorites should be the anthem quote for this show as it has been said many times.....

 

We are closeup to a hoarder and they ask, " Are you a hoarder?"......and the answer very often is....

 

"No, I'm not a hoarder, I'm a collector."   The camera then pans around the house showing the usual towering mounds of dollar store and flea market trinkets, the ten year garbage collectibles and assorted creatures running amok.

Edited by Jordan27
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I think it was Jill who gave her rotting pumpkin a mini-eulogy before she allowed them to throw it away. "It was a very nice pumpkin when it was new ..."

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I'm not sure which hoarding show it was on.  There was a woman who had lost her false teeth in the filthy pile of garbage hoard.  She spent so much of the episode asking "Did you find my teeth?"  When found, she popped the filthy things in her mouth.  When my house gets really messy, I find myself saying, "Did you find my teeth?"

I would say the words most often are, "Keep that!"  Uttered by every  hoarder when sorting. 

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15 hours ago, Muffyn said:

I'm not sure which hoarding show it was on.  There was a woman who had lost her false teeth in the filthy pile of garbage hoard.  She spent so much of the episode asking "Did you find my teeth?"  When found, she popped the filthy things in her mouth.  When my house gets really messy, I find myself saying, "Did you find my teeth?"

I would say the words most often are, "Keep that!"  Uttered by every  hoarder when sorting. 

Girl, unfortunately I made the mistake of asking what the end result of that episode was, in this thread I think.  

I like "lemme see that" -  um, why now? you ain't seen it since 1981. 

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We were watching Hoarders in my psych class and this kid was crying because one of the helpers were beating the shit out of his playhouse. Everyone lost their collective minds. 

Edited by DudeBro · Reason: Wrote down the wrong thing
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On 1/3/2016 at 10:18 PM, christine falls said:

Darth Tater

LOL for days.  I had totally forgotten about that.  

I wonder if The Possum From Hoarders is back up and running on FB.  Matt and Corey often dropped by for some good old-fashioned snark.

ETA: My new favorite quote is from Dead-Eyes Anne, mistress of the candles: "Rome wasn't built in a day!"

Edited by bethster2000
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Dead-eyes Annie, who hoarded purses, candles, body lotion and Christmas decorations, is memorable to me for her justification of keeping a big red candle:

 

That's not a candle, that's decor.  

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2 hours ago, enoughcats said:

That's not a candle, that's decor.  

Husband and I were at Costco today and of course there were many displays throughout the store of scented candles and the like.  Each time we would pass one, one of us would point and the other one would say, "That's not a candle.  That's decor."  And then we would crack up.  

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On ‎4‎/‎5‎/‎2014 at 9:01 AM, Giant Misfit said:

Paraphrasing my favorite scene:

Loony hoarder: I can't give you this bag! It's my sister's! The one who my husband was having an affair with!

Husband (lurking in the background, laughing): Yeah, um. You don't HAVE a sister.

I think that was the other Hoarders show, but still, a classic.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/12/hoarding-buried-alive-shelley-and-gene-video_n_1338524.html

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Quote

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/12/hoarding-buried-alive-shelley-and-gene-video_n_1338524.html

Unable to admit her lie, Shelley dug in deeper. Insisting that she really did have a sister, she then invented an even more outrageous storyline: “We don’t talk about her because Gene slept with her.”

To which Gene explained, “She’s making an excuse to keep stuff.” Exasperated, he reiterated that they’d been together since 1984, he’d never been unfaithful, and she’d never had a sister.

When Shelley broke down in tears and said she didn’t want to talk to him about it, Gene quipped, “Do you want to call your sister?”

 

BWAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Thanks @funky-rat that was hilarious.

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