S04.E04: The Love Gurus

[OnceSane]

Chef Tracy proves her worth, yet her outrageous tales lead Kim to wonder about her personal life. Meanwhile, Ariana rebels against Kim and Kroy's strict rules and announces her plan to be emancipated when she turns 16.

[cooksdelight]

I.CANNOT.WAIT!!!!!

[cooksdelight]

A party for a dead cat while it's being put to sleep. Tracey... I'm there!

[cooksdelight]

Kim is Elvira in reverse. Blonde long straggly hair instead of black hair. Orange skin instead of white.

[Mountainair]

I've always felt a little sad for Arianna and the first look did nothing to dispel those feelings. She just seems like the child lost in the mix. She's not the oldest and she's not one of the new kids.

KJ continues to grate. Arianna was in the fort playing with him all the while he's lobbing blocks at her head/face and she does nothing. She probably can't discipline the babies but damn, someone needs to!

[cooksdelight]

KJ should probably start posing for his mug shots at this rate. I feel for Arianna, she's technically the "middle child" and build-in babysitter when the nanny is on break.

[BitterApple]

Arianna is the Jan Brady of the family. Not pretty enough to compete with Brielle's Marcia and not young enough to have the "awwww" factor that the little ones bring. She's the over-achiever in the hopes that good behavior and straight A's will bring her attention, but Kim is only about the superficial so the poor girl gets lost in the shuffle.

KJ is one of those kids I just want to smack in the face.

Edited September 12, 2015 by BitterApple

[sunshine85]

Wow...KJ's mouth is terrible! The kid is barely three and curse words are a regular part of his vocabulary. I foresee major trouble (suspensions or even expulsion) when he starts school.

[martinitorino]

Good god, Kim's makeup is heinous. #1 problem is her mega overdrawn plastic-looking, blow up doll lips. #2 is the white eyeliner on her lower waterline that makes her look like an alien. #3 is her orange skin that sometimes looks green in her talking heads... how is that even possible to look orange and green at the same time?

I feel so bad for Ariana. She's the one normal person in this lunatic asylum. I hope she is lathering on the makeup just for the cameras... sometimes it looks like she has as much makeup caked on her face as Kim.

Did Kim say she couldn't get Brielle out of the house if she tried?

Please just fire the Biermans and give Tracy the show.

[Irritable]

So Tracey just feeds Kim a constant line of bullshit all day, every day, and then goes home to Brooklyn to tell her all the crazy nonsense she actually got Kim the idiot to believe?  Is that the takeaway here?  If so, I like it.

 

Kroy goes with Kim to the nail salon?  Why in the world does he do that?  Honestly, I don't know why Kim doesn't have a manicurist come to her house for mani-pedis.   It would still be one of her cheapest vanity expenses, even if it was $100 a week.

 

I don't do Twitter, but it would almost be worth it to follow Kim just to see if she frantically comes out with some excuse why it's someone else's fault her ass looked so big in those sweat pants.  That's definitely not the same ass from the photos she put out in social media that she swore up and down were not photoshopped, so it must be editing, or maybe she is going to sue the designer of the sweat pants for not flattering her butt even though she paid $6,000 for them. Their "walk" was the slowest, laziest dog walking I've ever witnessed.  What is she talking about, she chose a younger man so he could keep up with her?  A sloth could keep up with her!

 

That lofted fort in KJ's bedroom was super sweet.  I can't believe I envy a 4 year old boy with a potty mouth and a mean disposition.

[Texasmom1970]

Nice to see Kim and Kroy keeping it Klassy! What is that old saying about money can't buy you class or good taste.

Taking wine and a beer on a walk so slow they could be passed by turtles! Saying they have a great relationship and their constant discussions about getting freaky and blow jobs. Kim's over the top hair, clown makeup and boobs, looks like she is morphing into a blow up sex doll. Your toddlers having a vocabulary that make sailors blush. Oy vey, this family!

[bichonblitz]

Kim and Kroy are made for each other. I really thought Kim was marrying up but not so much now. Kroy goes along with all of her nonsense. I thought he would be the one with the firm hand when it came to disciplining his kids.  He thinks it's funny that KJ is a mouthy little bully that can't keep his hands to himself.   

I don't see what's so charming about Tracy. I must be missing something because I don't think she's funny and I find her very irritating. She did hit the jackpot, though. She's getting a BRAVO paycheck when she was originally  only hired to cook for these idiots.

I feel for Arianna, too. She is the one that will move out of that house as soon as she turns 18. I think she is really turning in to a pretty girl. She's going through that weird stage right now growing in to her looks but once the braces are off she is going to be prettier that Brielle. And alot nicer, too.  

Edited September 14, 2015 by bichonblitz

[martinitorino]

I don't see what's so charming about Tracy. I must be missing something because I don't think she's funny and I find her very irritating. She did hit the jackpot, though. She's getting a BRAVO paycheck when she was originally only hired to cook for these idiots.

I can see how Tracy would be polarizing. Her humor reminds me of Jeff Lewis-- totally dry and straight-faced no matter what BS is coming out of their mouths.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I'm in the minority, I kinda dig the Biermanns' relationship with each other.  At first, I thought poor Kroy, he got involved in a whirlwind and before he knew it, became a dad of four/six.  You know what, though? He's no lemons out of lemonade type of victim.  Between those children and the mess and the stuff and the mayhem, the guy loves his life.  And I can't help but like him for that.  They love and understand each other.  It doesn't always have to go any deeper.  I mean I can't imagine that he wouldn'tve been able to find this with just about any other woman on the planet (and he didn't strike me as someone necessarily looking, before Kim) but they laugh and have fun, she keeps that booty a fatty not a flatty and even after four/six babies, she still wants to drop that bomb on him every night.   I was thinking the same thing about why she doesn't have a nail tech come to the house but the polish still has to have a 1/2 hour to dry.  4 under 4? Yeah she's gotta leave the house.  I think it's cute that he goes with her every chance he gets, they must still be in that can't be around each other enough stage, which I think people either find completely sickening or totes adorbs (sorry).   Ya'll know that dog walk wasn't about excercise lol, I mean the girl took a red solo with her.  Kroy doesn't care, he practices every day and she, well, not at all.  I think she had surgery soon after the twins were born, she is not about to break into a run anytime soon.

 

Their parenting, however.   I don't believe in spankings cause kids do what they see, but they gone be having plenty-a meetings about that KJ.  Plenty. 

 

With all manner of nannies and assistants (by the way, what does Kim need an assistant for?) and cameras, oh my, I'm salty at both of them that Brielle needs to watch the babies at all.  She's a sweet kid, that one.

 

I can't make my mind up about Tracy.   Seems like she fits right in, I think I just have a thing about maintaining some professional boundaries, even if your boss doesn't have any. 

[TaxNerd]

That lofted fort in KJ's bedroom was super sweet. I can't believe I envy a 4 year old boy with a potty mouth and a mean disposition.

Me too! That would be an awesome office/fort for me er I mean a friend.

I'm surprised that was the first time we saw it, that and the pool are the best features in that monstrosity.

[preciousperfect]

I can't make my mind up about Tracy.   Seems like she fits right in, I think I just have a thing about maintaining some professional boundaries, even if your boss doesn't have any. 

I think that is perfectly said. Yes I understand no serious professional chef would want to work for Kim but that doesn't mean that Tracy needs to act like a gross crass slob all the time to fit in. Try showing just a little class for the sake of your future career. 

[Irritable]

I'm not sure class has any place in that house.  If Tracy had true class, Kim would probably fire her.  She doesn't want to be around that stuff!

[What In The]

Does love guru mean that Wig is matchmaking? Ooooh sign me up! I need some of her sdvice on beautifying myself (I got my eye on the meat guy at grocery store). Maybe with her help, we can have half a dozen baies too

[Irritable]

I think the guru part wasn't matchmaking, it was the wisdom Kim and Kroy imparted on all of us, that as long as one person in the relationship does everything the other person wants, then the other person will perform oral sex on them regularly.  That is the recipe for a happy marriage, and as long as you live by that one rule, everything else will just work itself out.  Sounds pretty foolproof to me, and I guess marriage counselors are going to start going out of business all over the country now that the real answer has just been put out there for free.

[Phei]

I too thought the walk was a normal pace, more like a little stroll around the neighborhood to change the scenery, was nice seeing those big houses and nice greenery. (I live in the city all I see is cement and garbage bins).

I can't with Tracey something about her seems "unkept" She doesn't have to hire a supermodel or someone who only dresses in Chanel but I need my chef to look like she showers and grooms herself even a little. She just seems like she lacks personal hygiene, maybe it's her crass vocabulary and humor. I too fail to understand it. I don't find her funny or entertaining.

I get the feeling Kim is very insecure which explains all the plastic surgery/wigs and tries to cover it up with her over confidence sometimes and her lies about photoshop etc. I bet her recent mediocre performance during DWTS hit her like a ton of bricks.

She seems like the type that refuses any type of criticism, surrounds herself with yes people so she wouldn't have to endure any critique, (which is why she alienated her family and his family) blocks anyone on twitter or instagram if they even mention anything remotely negative.

Edited September 18, 2015 by Phei

[MissMel]

KJ's mouth is all sorts of wrong. He's what, 4? 5? Curse words are funny the first time they slip out of little people. It happens. It should get corrected, as well.

Come to my house and tell me to "open the fucking gate" or "turn that shit off". I'll ask you what my hand tastes like and then dare you to be surprised.

[ZaldamoWilder]

KJ's mouth is all sorts of wrong. He's what, 4? 5? Curse words are funny the first time they slip out of little people. It happens. It should get corrected, as well.

Come to my house and tell me to "open the fucking gate" or "turn that shit off". I'll ask you what my hand tastes like and then dare you to be surprised.

 

It's hours later and I'm still giggling.

[Morgalisa]

 

He thinks it's funny that KJ is a mouthy little bully that can't keep his hands to himself.

 

Put him in a room with Milania Giudice and we'll see how tough he is.

[straightshooter]

I'm in the minority, I kinda dig the Biermanns' relationship with each other.  At first, I thought poor Kroy, he got involved in a whirlwind and before he knew it, became a dad of four/six.  You know what, though? He's no lemons out of lemonade type of victim.  Between those children and the mess and the stuff and the mayhem, the guy loves his life.  And I can't help but like him for that.  They love and understand each other.  It doesn't always have to go any deeper.  I mean I can't imagine that he wouldn'tve been able to find this with just about any other woman on the planet (and he didn't strike me as someone necessarily looking, before Kim) but they laugh and have fun, she keeps that booty a fatty not a flatty and even after four/six babies, she still wants to drop that bomb on him every night.   I was thinking the same thing about why she doesn't have a nail tech come to the house but the polish still has to have a 1/2 hour to dry.  4 under 4? Yeah she's gotta leave the house.  I think it's cute that he goes with her every chance he gets, they must still be in that can't be around each other enough stage, which I think people either find completely sickening or totes adorbs (sorry).   Ya'll know that dog walk wasn't about excercise lol, I mean the girl took a red solo with her.  Kroy doesn't care, he practices every day and she, well, not at all.  I think she had surgery soon after the twins were born, she is not about to break into a run anytime soon.

I'm with you on this.  As ridiculous as they are (in many ways), they do seem genuinely happy and in love.  I will always have the utmost respect for a man who takes his role as a stepdad seriously and loves them like he appears to. 

 

I'm in the minority on a different issue -  think Tracy is absolutely hysterical.   She's been my favorite part of the show lately.   I love what a kick Kroy gets out of her. 

[turbogirlnyc]

Arianna is the Jan Brady of the family. Not pretty enough to compete with Brielle's Marcia and not young enough to have the "awwww" factor that the little ones bring. She's the over-achiever in the hopes that good behavior and straight A's will bring her attention, but Kim is only about the superficial so the poor girl gets lost in the shuffle.

KJ is one of those kids I just want to smack in the face.

I agree about Arianna. How awful would it feel if your mom got a nose job to look exactly like your older sister? I know the two have different dads so I wonder how Arianna feels about Brielle. They used to seem close in their talking heads. I hope that's still the case. Kim makes such a fuss over Brielle. She needs to give Arianna some special attention.

[cooksdelight]

I've often wondered if Arianna is such a great student to try to get some type of acknowledgement from her mother. Of all those kids, I hope the best for Arianna that she is successful and happy down the road.

[RedHawk]

I get the feeling Arianna makes good grades first and foremost because she's smart. Then I think, yes, she wantedto prove herself different from Brielle. I really wish her well and hope her sense of herself and sense of humor stay strong. Kroy may not be perfect but I'm also glad she has a dad in her life, especially with no grandparents, apparently.

Edited September 28, 2015 by RedHawk

[represent]

 

Put him in a room with Milania Giudice and we'll see how tough he is.

LOL, oh good stuff, this would be good tv..  I could literally picture her slapping the shit out of him and dragging him across the floor.

 

You know Kim always praises Arianna with pride in her talking heads about how she's so smart and she's a straight A student. But kids watch more of what you do than anything else. So when she sees that her mother is more into her appearance and designer this and that and tanning and that her sister Brielle is into the same thing... what else is suppose to think than, the superficial is more important than brains. 

 

Maybe if Kim put some energy toward I don't know, an actual endeavor that took brain power and some roll up your sleeves hard work, Arianna might be able to see a bit of herself in her mother.  Arianna doesn't know the woman who held down a job while going to school as a single teenage mother because she was nineteen when she had Brielle right?  She doesn't know that hardworking Kim.