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S08.E01: A Duggar Says Yes

halgia

By halgia
in 19 Kids And Counting [V]

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MrMattyMatt

MrMattyMatt

(edited)

Just watched this episode on demand.

Uber awkward "asking to court" scenes" - Why could they have not done soemthing a bit more interesting like Josh with the balloons at the restaurant?

Ben's family is so "christian-bubble" plastic. 

A few times some of the kids called people not like themselves "wierdos" - little do they know that they are the wierdos!

Edited to add:  Isn't Grandma Mary looking rather elderly lately?   I had been hoping that she escaped the laundry room prison!

Edited by MrMattyMatt
  • Love 1
mrs ra

mrs ra

Not specifically related to this episode, but not unrelated either: As someone who recently had to buy a bigger fridge when two family members moved in with us, making at total of 7 (including 2 teenaged boys), I'm intrigued by how the Duggers get by with only one fridge.  The one you see in the kitchen can't be the only one, can it? I mean, these people have 4 dishwashers.  There must be more hiding somewhere.  They probably need their own walk-in.

So why do they need 4 dishwashers if they only use paper plates and plastic utensils?

SmallTownMom

SmallTownMom

Exactly what I was going to say, mrs ra!  Even when they have company, it's Styrofoam cups and plates, and plastic utensils.  I wonder if Ben even noticed, or if he was too busy naming the kids in order.  Their parents probably can't even name them all, much less in order.

Ugh!  Jim Boob explaining why only side hugs are allowed?  He is so creepy.  What kind of parents are so worried that their daughter might touch somebody?  If she is going to marry this guy, why can't they even hold hands to pray?  Jim Boob and Michelle have no qualms about making out in front of their kids, or the entire world, but Jessa can't sit aside of Ben? 

Morons.

Glad we all found a new home!

Jasmar

Jasmar

Their brand of "sexual purity" is only another form of objectification. I've read story after story of kids raised in ATI, who have since escaped, who still struggle with opposite-sex friendships. The constant emphasis on not "defrauding" (which carries a totally arbitrary, made-up definition in Gothardspeak) has left young people not just stunted in their development, but tense and anxious about innocent friendships. They struggle to view the opposite gender as anything but a potential stumbling block. It's so tragic.

AmericanAmigo

AmericanAmigo

I finally half watched this show last night. Very boring. They are really just like any TV personalities trying to stay on the air. I think I am watching just for subtle signs that maybe one of them will leave someday to be their own person. I love my children but never expected them to follow everything I did or believed, just be good people in their own right. The older ones courting will really not be that interesting for very long, in my opinion.

glowlights

glowlights

Oh man, the side-hugging thing. UGH! It's so incredibly perverted to think that any human contact is sexual. Says way more about Boob and Mullet (and the teachings they follow) than it does about anyone around them. I hugged a co-worker last week. On this side of sanity, it was a compassionate act. On the Diggar side of sanity, it makes me an adulterer.

ITA with Jasmar (can't get the quote thing to work for me?) about objectification and the lingering psychogical effects. Even if and when these girls get out into a comparatively real world life, they won't know how to function. Great job, Jim Bob.

I can only stomach short clips of this show anymore. This painfully awkward courting stuff may tip me over the edge.

LunchBreak

LunchBreak

Add me to the pile of side-hug haters.  It looked so incredibly awkward and ridiculous each time I saw it.  Michelle would be jealous of me.  One way or another, I am defrauding people all day long! Oh, and I hate to say it, but there is nothing worse than finding out that someone is a really bad kisser.  I'm not necessarily saying it's a deal breaker, but man it can really be a turn off... I can't even fathom making that discovery on my wedding night!

  • Love 3
Absolom

Absolom

Oh, and I hate to say it, but there is nothing worse than finding out that someone is a really bad kisser.  I'm not necessarily saying it's a deal breaker, but man it can really be a turn off... I can't even fathom making that discovery on my wedding night!

 

I can't imagine how depressing it would be to discover on one's wedding that there was zero chemistry the now spouse and that they needed a lot of instruction on how to do things.

 

  • Love 1
glowlights

glowlights

This is the one of the things about this show (it's a long list) that gets me steamed: the sheer hypocrisy of Boob and Mullet denying their kids the ability to go a-courtin' themselves and discover things like what a good kiss feels like or what it's like to have chemistry with one beau versus another... when Boob and Mullet had that advantage themselves. Mullet was out there in her cheerleader skirt and Boob was (okay I don't like to think about that horn dog's dating days). They had their fun and then made it life's mission to withold the same joy from their kids.

Gave away pieces of their heart? Oh please. Hearts don't shed "pieces" like crumbs.

  • Love 1
bigskygirl

bigskygirl

(edited)

I guess if neither party has ever kissed someone before, they really wouldn't know the difference between a good kisser and a bad kisser.

According to Jessa, JimBoob and Smuggar are good kissers.  One has bad breath and is a horn dog, and the other kisses like he will suck any fillings out of his wife's mouth.  I can imagine what type of kisser Ben will be.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to go to JB, Mullet or Smuggar for kissing advice.  *yuck*

Edited by bigskygirl
floridamom

floridamom

These people think keeping your "heart frozen on ice" is the way to go through life until you get yourself a husband. Well, I can tell you that a used heart is much better than a pristine, never-used, cold as ice one! A heart that has given pieces away regenerates bigger, better, stronger than before rather than one that has been untouched. There is an air of elitism, "I always do the right thing", why haven't you, but in truth that unused heart has never been challenged. It is easy to always do right when you have never been called to do anything before. I'll go with the person who has "loved and lost" every time before I'll go with the Dudley DoRights out there. Smug superiority, that's all it brings.

  • Love 7
floridamom

floridamom

Thank you, Marigny. Your comment is appreciated by me. I speak from personal experience on that one. The Duggars are scared to death...of everything... and as a result, their molds come in pink or blue, fit perfectly with NO wiggle room.

Has anyone read the new post by JB and Michelle on "crisis of faith'? how would they react if any of their children left the church? Of course, Michelle, the woooonderful speaker, went on this diatribe about needing God and how wonderful God is, etc., (forgive me Lord for seeming disrespectful to You), but my point is that they responded as if their children were to abandon belief in God altogether. I believe the interviewer asked them the question with a less extreme intent. Perhaps the kids would choose to live a more mainstream life, not just like them. We saw the "pray for them" cliche', of course. But they didn't say if they would still be welcomed at their dining room table or not.. I'd still like to know the answer to that one. They responded in the extreme because that is what they are in everything.

I would think that Derrick is better suited for Jana. He is 25, she, 24; quiet, reserved, and would love a 9-5 husband, in the real world with a nice little home to care for and maybe he'd draw her out a little, with a TV, and out of the house experiences..Ben, I believe , at this time in his life,, would be suited for (dare I say it?) JoyAnna,, who is 16. They can kick this around for a few years, and maybe really get to know one another and marry when Joy is 18. I don't know what JB is thinking here.

Angeltoes

Angeltoes

This is the first episode I've ever seen and love all the comments here.  Can I use the word "love" or is it too soon in our relationship?  Sideways hug, everybody!

Thought it was interesting that the one sister (Jinger?) said that she had no idea Ben was coming to court (heck, even the preschool crowd knew it) and then later it was mentioned that she and Jessa were besties.  Doesn't sound very bestie to me if that piece of information slipped by her.

Does Michelle know she's a mother and not a giggly college girl?  Her voice is driving me nuts because it sounds exactly like somebody else's on TV and I can't think who it is.

  • Love 3
Marigny

Marigny

This is the first episode I've ever seen and love all the comments here.  Can I use the word "love" or is it too soon in our relationship?  Sideways hug, everybody!

 

Not so fast! Sideways hugs aren't allowed until you have a pow wow with one of the mods in the pantry where the pickles are kept and they give permission for an official courtship. Until that happens, side hugs are considered sin in the camp. =)

  • Love 6
Fostersmom

Fostersmom

Finally watching this episode. I had it on the DVR forever and deleted it. Good thing TLC is celebrating the 4th with a Duggar marathon. 

 

No wonder Ben is so awkward, his dad is even creepier than JimBob. I half expected him to pull out a written list of questions for Jessa to answer. She isn't the most social to begin with, that dinner had to be torture for her. Loved the sound man chaperone at the family get-together.

 

As odd as JimBob is, I do think he really enjoys and loves his kids. Can't say the same thing about Michelle. JB seems natural with the kids, picks up the little girls, side hugs the older ones, isn't shy to kiss their heads. Obviously didn't know what to do with Josie's hair, she looked cute, like a wild child, but he tried. I can't tell the little girls apart, but one was climbing all over him like he was a jungle gym. Don't see Michelle doing any of those things. 

 

I do think there's been some failed courtships we haven't seen. Between the THs from the older girls and the conversation Jessa was packing, it just seems like this wasn't the first courtship for the girls, just the first one that really went anywhere. I'm glad Jessa and Ben are taking it slow and aren't engaged yet. They don't seem anywhere near as ready for marriage as Jill and Derrick. Isn't this courtship pushing a year? That's a lifetime in these fundy relationships. 

Literata

Literata

 

As odd as JimBob is, I do think he really enjoys and loves his kids. Can't say the same thing about Michelle. JB seems natural with the kids, picks up the little girls, side hugs the older ones, isn't shy to kiss their heads. Obviously didn't know what to do with Josie's hair, she looked cute, like a wild child, but he tried. I can't tell the little girls apart, but one was climbing all over him like he was a jungle gym. Don't see Michelle doing any of those things.

My opinion exactly. I don't like the guy, but I do think he views his kids as kids, not solely as numbers. I appreciate that he's affectionate with them, and that he is obviously very close to some of them (Jill, Johannah, Jenny). He seems to prefer the girls -- not all that unusual among dads. 

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