A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule how are things going?

[GHScorpiosRule]

1 hour ago, theredhead77 said:

@GHScorpiosRule how are things going?

FANTASTIC. I made it past the probationary 90 days! There were a couple of hiccups but my supervisor said (and I love this) that  I’m human. This was regarding how I was called in to help on a filing that wasn’t in my practice group-136 cross-claims to draft and finalize under 24 hours. There were three others helping, I worked on my share until midnight, went home came back at 7:30 and finished. Noon was our deadline but the client waited until 3 in the afternoon the previous day to provide their comments, etc. I always review to make sure I got everything and no errors, but two slipped by me. What can I say? Previous employers drummed into me I was supposed to be perfect.

After it was done, the attorney in charge sent me an email thanking me for jumping in so late and helping out. And I didn’t mind her being short with me due to the technical issues we were having the night before. More like I wasn’t given access to files that I should have been, which delayed me on working on the pleadings.

But I’m loving my work and the firm. I am respected and appreciated. And my supervisors who handle assignments, continue to reach out to me to ask if I have time to help out other groups. And I do if I can. I don’t want to over extend myself, but when I have downtime, I can’t tealky appreciate it because I feel like I’m not being productive!?????

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

FANTASTIC. I made it past the probationary 90 days! There were a couple of hiccups but my supervisor said (and I love this) that  I’m human. This was regarding how I was called in to help on a filing that wasn’t in my practice group-136 cross-claims to draft and finalize under 24 hours. There were three others helping, I worked on my share until midnight, went home came back at 7:30 and finished. Noon was our deadline but the client waited until 3 in the afternoon the previous day to provide their comments, etc. I always review to make sure I got everything and no errors, but two slipped by me. What can I say? Previous employers drummed into me I was supposed to be perfect.

After it was done, the attorney in charge sent me an email thanking me for jumping in so late and helping out. And I didn’t mind her being short with me due to the technical issues we were having the night before. More like I wasn’t given access to files that I should have been, which delayed me on working on the pleadings.

But I’m loving my work and the firm. I am respected and appreciated. And my supervisors who handle assignments, continue to reach out to me to ask if I have time to help out other groups. And I do if I can. I don’t want to over extend myself, but when I have downtime, I can’t tealky appreciate it because I feel like I’m not being productive!?????

I am so happy for you. They’ll never know how lucky they are to have you. You put in the extra effort, whereas so many people think doing “just enough” is sufficient. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

You put in the extra effort, whereas so many people think doing “just enough” is sufficient. 

It's a two-way street; a lot of workers put in the extra effort, only to get absolutely no "reward" other than continually having extra work piled on them.  Women, especially, are vulnerable to being labeled as someone it's perfectly acceptable to pile extra work on without any recognition, because her work ethic means she'll get it done despite being used in that way.  Situations like this should be more common, where a good employee is respected as such, and thus motivated to go that extra mile when it's needed and she can because she's treated like a person, appreciated for her abilities, and specifically thanked (and remembered come bonus time) when she chips in elsewhere.

@GHScorpiosRule, I remain glad this is such a good fit for you; yay for making it through the probationary period, and I think you'll be there as long as you want to be.

[hoosier80]

I get back to work today, and Queenie is all into one project.  Problem is, she doesn't know what the stuff means.  Then we have Dip, working on something else, just screwing up stuff right and left.  The stuff that was screwed up - not the actual body of documents (she took a copy from what I've done for years now), but there were typos and misspellings all over the place.  Then other shit was mucked up.  Boss was livid and directed at the entire team!  I was like WTF.  I've not been around.  I walked Dip though EVERYTHING.  It's not my fault she has the attention span of a gnat and an Etch-a-Sketch brain.   Dip even fucked up meeting invites.  I told boss I'd take it back, after he said if she didn't get it right, he'd do it - after threatening entire team.  He's really been a dick lately.   It's been that way with others on our team, just not part of this sub team.  One woman was out for major surgery, and dickhead boss thought she'd be into work the next week!  Then was concerned re: coverage of her shit the day before she was to be out for surgery.  She has me read the emails, and he was way out of line.  If he starts in on me, I will definitely get HR involved.  No sense to it.  And, the thing is, if I threaten to walk, they are beyond screwed.  Not that I'm a freaking Einstein, but no one knows the stuff.  The fact that Dip thought a former team member and I would be around to do the heavy lifting, while she could do her own thing (gossip and surf the web), just shows her mindset.  She wants to do what she wants to do - only that.  That both the former team member and I said the same things about Dip a good two years ago - and he did NOTHING, sucks to be him.  Not my problem now.  I warned you.

So then I had a call with him.  Oh yeah, we're in deep shit.  And I said well what exactly has been done wrong.  NOTHING I DID, but we're a team...……..so I will get docked on review for shit others did wrong.  BS.  I am calling him out on his shit on that review.  I told him my concerns in DETAIL over a year ago, that she wasn't qualified for this job.  Now the chickens have come home to roost.  Plus, I think this is retribution for the bad employee survey that all of our management got this year.  And if he pushes it, I may write - not sure if he wants me to quit out of frustration as he certainly doesn't value the quality of my work.   His buddy, the QB, is feeding him shit I believe.  But QB fucked up royally, and it went to HIS boss, who asked WTF, so she's on his shit list now.

I couldn't talk freely - he called me to talk - as he works remotely now all the time - he lives roughly 800 miles away - as the Dip was sitting at her desk mere feet away.  But, I wanted to say - what did you think would happen?  I have shown her everything 4, 5, 6 times, nothing sticks.  I can only go behind her and find so many mistakes before something breaks loose.  I have caught a ton of mistakes.  I cannot do everything.  As much as I try to give stuff to Dip to handle, it means double or triple work for me, as she doesn't understand, fucks it up, I catch and have to either fix it (she has left for the day) or doesn't understand or I have to spoon feed it to her how to fix it.  She even argued with me re: something she typed wrong - I had to do a screen shot and circle the typo.  The fact that every difficult or different request is left for me - where's that teamwork?  I've never been able to get out of doing stuff I didn't want to do (aka the Dip slide), plus I have learned new things as new products are available.  Anytime something new is introduced Dip takes months to learn it.  Wants manuals and example, then never takes notes (loses or can't read them if she takes notes), then wants someone to sit with her and walk through it, even though we've already been using it - learned it ourselves.  She fucked up monthly reporting, so boss took it away.  I kind of asked about that and he said easier to do it himself - so there you are!

And on the project QB has (which Dip originally had but slid out of that) we were told to do abcd, now boss wants something different.  I know he said it was good one way because I saved some of the items.   So now, reinventing the wheel to get shit done.  I really need to play the lottery often.

[BookWoman56]

My work situation is a bit weird right now, but I feel I've taken active steps to try to transition to a somewhat different role. I've been in my current position for a little over three years. When I was brought on initially, the project that I worked on primarily was a major component of what we have to submit to federal regulators annually. I was also consistently loaned out to some adjacent teams who worked on other components and one team that was responsible for pulling all components together. However, in the past year or so, the major component I was working on has become a very minor component, and I'm still being loaned out to help documentation efforts for the other teams. And I've been asking myself at what point upper management is going to start asking why this minor component needs 1.5 project managers and a tech writer. Roughly 6 months ago I had discussions with my manager's manager about transitioning me to a new role, reporting directly to him, and he was planning to discuss the idea with the area VP. However, there's been a ton of re-orgs since then, and both the area VP and my manager's manager have since left the company. On the plus side, my manager's new manager is someone I had worked with when I was loaned out to other teams, so he's familiar with my work. In the meantime, for the second time in the past year, my manager is out on medical leave. Because I was targeted for a salary adjustment because of changes in the salary range for my job, my manager's manager scheduled a 1:1 with me to go over the specifics of the increase, and I took the opportunity to initiate discussions with him about my idea that my skills could be put to better use working on other components of the overall large project. He agreed, at least in theory, but with my manager now being out,  he didn't want to spring this on her as a done deal after she came back from being on leave. So I had to loop her into the discussion and explain what I was suggesting. She's not happy about it, but since her boss likes the idea, she's not going to raise a fuss. In the meantime, her boss asked me to meet with the manager of the team that is responsible for putting together all the project components; this manager also reports to my manager's boss. So we met and he's fully on board with my suggested change in role and in fact had previously requested that his boss move me over to his team. He will follow up with his boss and asked me to put in a formal request to that boss to move me to his team, which I submitted today. 

I'm hopeful in a low-key way that this will work out well. My biggest concern with any major change has been that while my current manager is often inept and thinks her job is to provide support for the person who used to be her manager, because she can't get out of that mindset, she was perfectly comfortable with me being 100% telecommute, and for the most part, she left me the hell alone to do my job. Given her ongoing health problems, I'm not entirely sure she will return from her medical leave this time around, and in the meantime, another person on our team is more or less in charge, and this person is a lazy, self-absorbed jerk who dumps all her work on other people and then takes credit for what they've done. I don't think my  potential new manager would have any issues with me continuing to work remotely, and everyone I've talked to has had very positive things to say about him as a manager. I really hope this works out well, because if my lazy-ass colleague ends up becoming the actual manager of our team, I would feel compelled to start a serious job search, and have to find a similar position that would also allow telecommuting. That's doable, but if I can stay in the general area I am already familiar and comfortable with, I would much prefer to. In addition, I suggested to my manager's boss that if I move and change roles somewhat, that I would like to be in a different job title, which would pay more. Part of what's driving that request is that more income would come in very handy now that I'm not teaching on the side any more, but also I'm at the highest level of my current job title and there's nowhere to go in terms of professional development/career advancement if I stay in that same job title. My manager was slightly surprised that I've expressed the desire to change roles, but FFS, every time I've asked her about career advancement opportunities where I currently am, her response has always been that I can post out for other positions. This is the longest I've ever been in a regular FT position without getting a promotion; everywhere else, I've always been fast-tracked for career development, and the feedback I have gotten in this role has been consistently positive and there has been recognition of exceptional effort during some projects. With my manager, I have to resist the urge to ask, "When you make it clear to people on your team that only your favored employee is going to get the big bonuses and raises and development opportunities, and everybody else can fend for themselves, why on earth are you surprised that other team members opt to move on?"

[GHScorpiosRule]

After reading the past few comments, I feel almost guilty for posting this, because I'm not having any issues at my new job. 

But then I think about the last six years, and dammit. Even if I don't celebrate Thanksgiving with Turkey and all the trimmin's, If there's anything I was grateful for this year, it was my job. And my continued good health, of course, even if I'm feeling exhausted lately, and I think the stupid pills are causing my tummy upsets. Anyhoo...

I just wanted to share one of the things I love about my practice group:

I was proofing a brief that we were getting ready to file--my favorite thing, or one of them--checking for grammatical errors! There weren't that many because the lawyers I work with are very good about things like that. But one of the things I ran into was spellings for variations of cancel--British version v. American.

So, at our lunch yesterday, I asked the Partner whether they got the filing done on Monday, or if they needed more editing. And he said he did, and the Court was pleased with it and granted our Motion to Dismiss. And I asked, tongue-in-cheek- did the court grant the motion because of my "vastly superior proof-checking skills?" 😉😉They all laughed good-naturedly, and Partner said, "probably!" I knew he was kidding and just humoring me. But I did catch enough, due to at least three different people working on the thing.

I just can't express how much it means to me for the partners to have my back and support and encourage me and to let me know when I've done a good job.

[hoosier80]

It's great to hear your new job is going so well @GHScorpiosRule !!

And back at the shit show that is my job, Dip struggling with one project that I've done for years.  It's basically coordinating end of period stuff.  There's a workbook, with one tab having a timeline, same fucking timeline as every year.  Dip "worked" on it last year with me, but apparently didn't give a rat's ass, just doing her shit, doing as little as possible.  We have had 4 meetings already this week, going over the same damned things. The last go round, she invented shit for her to do.  I said no, I told you another group monitors that, this is just an FYI - blank look - it's for reference only.  Now I had said she needed to complete a survey, another 4 tab workbook.  I have every other period's saved in separate folders, so go look and use as a template.  Ok.  Today, acted like never heard of it before (another department asked for it and boss sent an email).  And yes, another meeting next week to go over it.  I said well at least try to get together a draft before this meeting.  I'm tired of doing the work for her.  Boss actually said to me, I don't understand what is so difficult.  And he added you've done this how long with zero issues - at least in the prep (we've had system errors beyond our control before).  Typos and wrong dates.  Then asking me who would provide her info - and she's worked for this company for over 15 years.  Does not retain a damned thing.  During our last meeting, asked about something she did last year!!  WTF.  I said oh it's in the manual.  "Well, I didn't see it and I was reading it this morning".  I grabbed the manual, took a minute to look at table of contents and said - abcd - it's on page 10.  Ohhhh.  Yeah, you read it like you do everything - half assed.    Every question that is asked of her gets a response with 'this is the first time I've done this'...………..

It's like watching a 10 car pile up in slow motion.

[shapeshifter]

Spoiler alert: Nothing pleasant to read here

My boss is a sociopathic bully.
Everyone who has ever worked under her agrees--most have left for better work environments--some she got fired.
She only shows up half of the time for which she is paid twice the amount of those who do the same job.
It seems that when she feels guilty for her behavior, she punishes those she supervises.
One former coworker couldn't eat for days when she was the target of this tyrant.
Yesterday was my turn; I didn't sleep last night.
I have worked under her for 18 years.
You'd think I'd be immune by now, but no.
I am getting laid off in May. I am one of five 60+ year-old women being laid off as part of a budgeting maneuver.
If not for the loss of income, I'd be ecstatic.
As part of this restructuring they hired outside evaluators to meet with us individually. I threw my boss under the bus regarding possible plans to make her the new Big boss, even though it might have put distance between us (for my last year), because I felt this was my moment to be honest and prevent a greater reign of her terror on more employees. Plus she's a terrible boss. Did I already mention that? As it turns out, about 10 other people gave the same input, so it wouldn't have mattered if I'd stayed silent.

Edited December 2, 2018 by shapeshifter
Typo

[magicdog]

If you can file for unemployment benefits, do so.

Then, send her some poop!!!

I’ve got a similar bitch boss and the only reason I’m hanging on is the pension I’m eligible for.  I’m still relatively young and having an additional income stream while she continues to act like an incompetent big shot at the same age would be a middle finger to her.

At least you and several others got to tell her superiors what kind of bitch this woman is.  Hopefully they’ll get the message and not promote her.  They may not fire her but keeping her from going higher is something to take pleasure in.

[theredhead77]

Hell, file an age discrimination lawsuit!

[shapeshifter]

31 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Hell, file an age discrimination lawsuit!

They covered their butts with that one. I'm putting it in spoiler tags because

Spoiler

--after all these years in a toxic environment, I'm paranoid:
They "offered" each of us separately a retirement package of one year's salary--which is nice, but not quite enough if I live 10 more years--and then I was called into a short, unscheduled meeting with the HR person and one of the other bosses and told that they wanted to be sure I had "all the information" before I made my decision:
I would be offered a half time position if I took the package, and next year my position was being reduced to half time anyway (i.e. half salary and no benefits, so no more life insurance--which was a year and a half of my salary).
So I "agreed" to the package, which included signing a waiver that stated that when I made my decision to accept the package I "was not under duress."
Six months later I learned the half time position was being terminated at the end of the first year.

Edited December 1, 2018 by shapeshifter

[BookWoman56]

@shapeshifter, I'm not an attorney (maybe someone who is can weigh in on this), but the waiver you signed and the fact that you and some others your age were targeted for "early retirement" have nothing to do with each other,  unless I'm completely missing something here. Regardless, that was some shoddy behavior on the part of your company. It's entirely too common for employers to cherry pick older employees and/or those with the longest tenure at the company to lay off, because those are the very people whose salaries will typically be higher. The fact that those older employees will typically have the hardest time finding other jobs? The employer doesn't care. 

[magicdog]

Agreed!  For piece of mind, consult an employment rights attorney to make sure if you can do something legally to come out on top.  It also matters if you live in a right to work state or not.  I do and when my bitcheroo boss was harassing me, the attorney said I was SOL unless I was a "protected class".  

At the very least you could try sending your resume around and maybe your experience can get you something better before the ax officially falls.

[bilgistic]

My mom was "laid off" at 61 from the law firm where she'd been a paralegal for eight(?) years. They definitely targeted the older staff members when making their cuts.

Speaking of work, the store is sllloooowww right now because it's the lull between holidays. Everyone but the full-timers have had their hours cut. I worked 15 hours this week and am scheduled for 14 next week. This is not good. I just had to get new lenses for my "best" glasses, and went with the bare minimum, which was still $90. My sister paid for my car battery because she's amazing. I still have to get my dryer fixed so I can dry my clothes. That'll probably be $150ish. Gah!

That doesn't take into account my regular bills, of course! I WANT A "REAL" JOB ALREADY.

Edited December 1, 2018 by bilgistic

[partofme]

About 20 of my coworkers got laid off today.    I survived, but it's really demoralizing, I wasn't expecting this to happen until January and a lot of the people who got laid off are people I've known for years.   The office is really empty now.    I really want a new job.

Edited December 4, 2018 by partofme

[Moose135]

That really sucks, @partofme!  I've been on both ends of that - the one that remains, and the one laid off, and it isn't much fun.  One place I worked at for many years would conduct lay offs around this time of year, so the new year budget would be "clean" - it happened enough that we called it the "Home for the Holidays" program.  Good luck to you and your former co-workers.

[theredhead77]

It is absolutely beyond shitty to schedule layoffs right before the holidays. I don't blame you at all for wanting a new job, @partofme. Get that resume tuned up and start looking so you can scout out a Jan start date.

[Hanahope]

On 12/1/2018 at 8:43 AM, shapeshifter said:

am getting laid off in May. I am one of five 60+ year-old women being laid off as part of a budgeting maneuver.

without giving official legal advice, I'd say you might have a viable claim, along with your 4 co-workers.  I'd really suggest speaking with an employment attorney in your area.  Virtually every attorney will at least give you an initial consultation for free.  just because a waiver says you are not signing 'under duress' doesn't mean there wasn't duress, or that you legally waived it.  believe me, i've seen many plaintiffs get by so-called waivers.

[bilgistic]

I applied for a job on Indeed.com. I then got an auto-email through Indeed from the company asking me to apply on their website. An employer can can link directly to their website from Indeed so people apply on their site and not on Indeed, but they didn't choose that option or whatever. So I went to apply on their website and the form (Google Forms) won't proceed past "additional work history". "No" loads the same page as "Yes"--another work history page. GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE.

I can't help but feel like this is indicative of how the company operates.

Edited December 8, 2018 by bilgistic

[hoosier80]

I am so beyond pissed.  Dip had a meeting (boss made her do it I guess) about work from home days.  He's cutting them due to errors on team.  Now I've not had one smidgen to do with any o the errors - none.  I protested and he said well we're a team.  True, but he is in another region of the country, where he works from home every fucking day.  Doesn't see the hypocrisy.

Then the Queen Bee said well what happens if you're sick or something happens where you have to be at home?  Does that mean you've used your one day?  I said, I'll just call off sick - then the Dip or Queenie will have to stay later.  She shut up then.  And after over 2 year, QB still can't connect to the network from home.  Why? I'm sure she doesn't want to do so.  She has a part time job down the street from the office, so easier if she comes into the office.

I said he's a poor manager, and makes me think I should start looking elsewhere.  I'm sure it'll get back to him somehow.  Oh, and that it was horrible way to manage, yelling at folks and not instead counselling/training/mentoring people.  I also said I had thought about going to HR with concerns. 

The thing is, he knows he needs me, and I know it.  The other two have zero clue.  True others could step in, but it'd be temporary.  I bet his little working remote would be cancelled.  He'd be called into the office to 'fix things'.  He's told the other two he could hire anyone off the street to do what they do.  Ass.

[DeLurker]

@hoosier80 - I'm sorry.  The work situation really sounds untenable at this point.  Your stress levels have been sky high for an extended period - perhaps it is time to consider some stress leave?

[Hanahope]

On 12/10/2018 at 1:26 PM, hoosier80 said:

I am so beyond pissed.  Dip had a meeting (boss made her do it I guess) about work from home days.  He's cutting them due to errors on team.  Now I've not had one smidgen to do with any o the errors - none.  I protested and he said well we're a team.  True, but he is in another region of the country, where he works from home every fucking day.  Doesn't see the hypocrisy.

Both of my middle school daughters tell me how much they hate "team" projects in social studies or science because they feel like they do 75% of the work, another person does their 25% and the other 2 do nothing, and then they have to rely on their 'teammates' giving them a good grade (which is half the grade for the project).  I told them that this is just teaching them how screwed up some businesses are.  Both want to run their own business eventually.  Maybe school is teaching them something useful in the working world.

Edited December 12, 2018 by Hanahope

[BookWoman56]

10 minutes ago, Hanahope said:

Both of my middle school daughters tell me how much they hate "team" projects in social studies or science because they feel like they do 75% of the work, another person does their 25% and the other 2 do nothing, and then they have to rely on their 'teammates' giving them a good grade (which is half the grade for the project).  I told them that this is just teaching them how screwed up some businesses are.  Both want to run their own business eventually.  Maybe school is teaching them something useful in the working world.

College students hate them as well, at least based on my experience. However, in recognition of this issue, in some of the courses that I previously taught, any team projects required a team charter, in which the students laid out who was responsible for what. When the project was submitted, a team participation worksheet had to be submitted with it. The worksheet required team members to document whether each student had contributed to the project, and if one or more had only partially fulfilled responsibilities, the percentage of their work that they actually did. If an individual student had a dissenting opinion, he/she could submit a worksheet as well. Based on the worksheet(s), the instructor could then grade the project itself and assign a grade to each individual based on the extent to which the student participated. So, a student who did nothing while the work was going on and then showed up on the due date with a token paragraph would not get the same grade as the students who did the actual work.

It’s too bad companies don’t use something similar. I was just commenting to a colleague yesterday, that when Colleague A says she will partner with Colleague B on a given project, what that means is that Colleague B will do 95% of the work, and Colleague A will claim 95% of the credit. 

[ABay]

Almost everyone in my class and apparently at my institution love group assignments. I don't know why. My class practically cheered when I said the final was a group project, but I gave them the option of working alone. Only one of them chose that option.

[EighteenTwelve]

Our work emails are first_last@school.  Somebody with the same first name as me started working here this fall, and I keep getting email for her because people stop typing after the first name and the system auto-fills with my last name because it comes before hers in the alphabet.  I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't work in the Dean's office, because I keep getting important email that isn't actually for me.

[hoosier80]

I am tempted to respond to the new work schedule email, asking when boss is going to go into the office in his new city.  Oh yeah, there's a desk or office reserved for him, but he had the balls to tell me he wouldn't probably ever go into that office.  Say what?  What exactly are you doing for your 'punishment', because this is after all, a team?  Keep in mind he moved because he didn't like cold weather.  I didn't realize that was an option.  I said to a friend if I wanted to move, to another location, say to help with a relative, I have no doubt it'd be denied.  

I also think the whole thing was basically because he's not around and his boss walks the floor to see who's there.  He thinks you have to be there to work.  Here's a news flash: those two don't really work much when they are in the office.  One is surfing the net non stop (pc blew up due to something she accidentally downloaded is what a desktop guy said), one is watching videos on her phone.  And who is monitoring what we do?  No one.  Period.  Even if we're in the office, boss is around 800 miles away.  He doesn't even chat with folks daily.

I had a remote boss way back in the day.  That boss knew every fucking thing we did.  This guy didn't even speak to us when he was in the office, and he'd be gone by 2 pm every day.  He'd schedule later meetings with other departments, then be a no show to his own meetings.

Before we got the 'punishment', we got a nasty email about something Dip had jacked up - saying if we didn't get it together, he'd take over that assignment, and it would be to our detriment. That's a threat.  I am still pondering sending to HR.  He gets very nasty and angry if something goes wrong; he should not be in charge of anyone, period.

Yeah, I'm thinking I need to explore taking a leave.  

[auntlada]

My division at work is considering having a holiday lunch at a local restaurant and having a wine exchange (working like a dirty Santa game). I told the person who informed us that I might go to lunch but I am not interested in a wine exchange because I don't drink. I have no objection to other people drinking, as long as it's not to excess in public and they don't drive impaired, but I don't like alcohol. It tastes bad to me. A work wine exchange, though, rubs me a little wrong -- and it's only a little bit because I won't participate. It just seems inappropriate even though it isn't going to be at the office. Maybe I'm just too straitlaced concerning work. It wouldn't be the first time I was accused of such a thing.

They considered a book exchange, but changed to wine (supposedly) because with wine, everyone can spend as much or as little as they want. I figure the same thing applies to books. The real reason, I think, is that one of the women in the main office deciding this doesn't read. As an avid reader, I don't understand that, especially since part of her job is writing. (Our division is in communications.)

Mostly, though, I just don't like office gift exchanges. I think they are a bad idea and lead to bad feeling because some people go to a lot of trouble and spend the most allowed to get something nice, and some always get something that looks like they picked it up at the gas station or out of their junk drawer at home.

[theredhead77]

Can you opt-out @auntlada or perhaps sway them with the "it's not on office property but it's a company event, doesn't this open the company up to liability?). I don't think a "wine" exchange as a team exchange is a good idea on principal but a gift exchange with the right team can be fun.

[auntlada]

I said I wasn't interested, and I don't have to do it. I'm debating having something come up somI can't go to lunch so I'm not sitting there watching while everyone draws numbers and picks wine. I don't think it is a good idea, and I think it looks bad even though it is completely optional, not agency-sponsored and not on state property. It just doesn't send a good image, I think. But I don't think anyone else is as stodgy as I am -- or possibly as image-conscious I am. They'll say, "No one should care about this because it's a personal thing." And they are right; it's nobody's business. But people might care, and even if it's not bad, it can look bad. It's the appearance of impropriety vs. impropriety thing. I think the difference for me is that I have a newspaper background, and most others are too young to have much background of any kind yet or they've been in government work for 30 years.

[Hanahope]

I was very happy this year that my office didn't do a Secret Santa.  I almost always have gotten either a new person, so I didn't know anything about them, or the one person I totally dislike.

For many years prior, our office would go to this italian restaurant for christmas lunch.  my boss was usually the one that nagged the other partners to agree and get it set up.  He was out on medical leave over Christmas last year, so no one did anything until they realized at the last minute, Oh Christmas lunch.  By then, nothing was available, so they ordered from Primo Hoagies and then we only got half the food and Primo's refused to deliver the rest because they were busy and just said, oops, sorry, we'll credit back half your credit card.  So that went well.

My boss has never returned from medical leave (cancer), so again this year, no one's pushing for the lunch.  And our office is open on Christmas Eve.  So I bet we show up, one partner will realize, oh yeah we should do something, so they'll do a crappy order from some sandwich place again.  Or maybe just order pizza.

Merry Christmas!

[bilgistic]

My former broker boss gave clients booze (very expensive wine or hard liquor) for Christmas. I thought it was a bad look, but he "knew" they all drank (in reality, some didn't and relayed that to me, but he ignored that). So I also don't agree with giving wine as a gift in the workplace. I guess I'm stodgy, too, but it's just an oddly personal gift to give someone you know via work. It's also illegal to ship liquor without a license as he made me do, but we're talking about a man who had zero ethics.

I am so against personal gift-giving in the workplace. And NEVER give gifts to your boss. Gift giving should ALWAYS go top-down. We did have a white elephant gift party one year and it was fun. There was a $20 limit and people bought clever gifts. I didn't spend $20 on my gift, mind you! I bought a travel mug and hot chocolate from Marshalls for maybe $10. Some people gave lottery tickets, and those were a big hit. I scored a mug and gift card to a coffee shop.

[auntlada]

4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

but he "knew" they all drank (in reality, some didn't and relayed that to me, but he ignored that).

I think that's part of what bothers me: the assumption that everyone drinks or even that everyone drinks wine. What if one of us was a recovering alcoholic? If I were a recovering alcoholic, I don't think I probably would have shared that at work. Most of the people at work think they know me, but really know very little about me because I don't share everything.

[theredhead77]

My last department (before I moved) did a super fun luncheon (brought in) and dirty Santa gift exchange. 90% of the gifts were booze sets. One person didn't drink but always said if he scored alcohol at the end of it he had an instant gift. I realize my last department was the exception to the rule and damn, I so miss that office.

My new office (the corporate office for the area) had a "appreciation dinner" last night for the people who work at that location at a nice hotel hosted by Sr. Management. It was really nice, open bar, hors d'œuvres, a buffet with a carving station, some nice speeches by top brass and when free parking time was unexpectedly cut from 4 to 2 hours due to an event they said everyone would be reimbursed. They're also giving us a very nice gift that will be delivered soon. This morning people were griping about the party. They didn't have to do anything for us. The company gives everyone a holiday gift (selection from about 12 nice food baskets) already, the dinner + bonus gift were just that. A nice thing to do.

[Moose135]

People were griping about that dinner? What ungrateful assholes!

[theredhead77]

10 hours ago, Moose135 said:

People were griping about that dinner? What ungrateful assholes!

Seriously. Some of the gripes I overheard were

"It was only 3 hours" - dude, plenty long AND the bar didn't close at all throughout the evening

"They had it on a Wed because it was cheaper" - maybe but it was for employees only and the turnout would have been much lower  if it were on a Saturday instead of a Wed immediately after work.

"It was too far from the office" - if you live by the office,  I happen to live by the venue and it's straight freeways, no traffic and 20 minutes tops. Which isn't far to start with.

"There weren't enough bartenders" - yea, the initial line was long but once the rush ended there was little to no wait

"There weren't enough booze selections / vodka was well". STFU, it's free alcohol. Drink beer or wine.

Grrr. So ungrateful. Personally I made sure I said "hi" and thanked all the top brass for the party. Because they didn't have to do anything for us.

Everyone went straight from work but I had been working from home so I wore new, dressy dark jeans, a dressy top & heels. I felt under dressed since everyone else was in their work clothes. Which for my office is "business casual" with emphasis on the bare minimum to meet that requirement.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Well, I very much APPRECIATED AND LOVED the Holiday Party my firm held. It was at our firm in the BIGGEST conference room, which is a good size. Open bar, great champagnee, wine, beer, soft drinks, water. Scrumptious mini Crème Brûlées, tarts, chocolate lava cakes, beef, chicken, shepard's pie and other goodies. DJs that played music from MoTown to present, dancing. I had a BLAST. There were tables inside and outside so you could sit down and eat and talk and have fun. I danced my ass off after imbibing two glasses of the bubbly. It was on a Thursday and for three hours.  My practice group will be holding its own Holiday Luncheon next week.

I love my firm. And I love my job and practice group. I really lucked out.

[Mindthinkr]

4 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Well, I very much APPRECIATED AND LOVED the Holiday Party my firm held. It was at our firm in the BIGGEST conference room, which is a good size. Open bar, great champagnee, wine, beer, soft drinks, water. Scrumptious mini Crème Brûlées, tarts, chocolate lava cakes, beef, chicken, shepard's pie and other goodies. DJs that played music from MoTown to present, dancing. I had a BLAST. There were tables inside and outside so you could sit down and eat and talk and have fun. I danced my ass off after imbibing two glasses of the bubbly. It was on a Thursday and for three hours.  My practice group will be holding its own Holiday Luncheon next week.

I love my firm. And I love my job and practice group. I really lucked out.

After all the difficulties that you have endured, that seemingly endless job search, the health problems (adding insult to injury with the diabetes) and those days when you had to commute in sneakers and carry your shoes....I’d say that you deserve every bit of the joy that you have found in your new job. You are mentally challenged and feel rewarded when you go the extra distance to get something done. I’m very happy that you had a delightful time at the gathering. You deserve this joy and it warms my heart to see the positive changes in your life. Be well and soak it all in. 🎄

[auntlada]

The wine exchange is off. Apparently there were "concerns" with it. I put quote marks around "concerns" not to emphasize the word, but because that is what the email actually said. I did not say anything because I didn't want to be that person, so I wonder if the people who came up with the idea did not clear it with our senior leader first.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

The wine exchange is off. Apparently there were "concerns" with it. I put quote marks around "concerns" not to emphasize the word, but because that is what the email actually said. I did not say anything because I didn't want to be that person, so I wonder if the people who came up with the idea did not clear it with our senior leader first.

There have been a couple of times at my company where senior leader (up to the region level) has brought in booze to celebrate something.  After it happens at a site, it is inevitably banned for life.  I think someone probably complained to HR and it wasn't worth the hassle.

I am friendly with our HR director and I always find it shocking the type of petty nonsense (like what is on the TV in the break room) that people complain about to HR.  

In other news, working late tonight.  It would be nice to be able to take a couple vacation days without having to work the same number of hours ahead of time.

[BookWoman56]

2 hours ago, auntlada said:

The wine exchange is off. Apparently there were "concerns" with it. I put quote marks around "concerns" not to emphasize the word, but because that is what the email actually said. I did not say anything because I didn't want to be that person, so I wonder if the people who came up with the idea did not clear it with our senior leader first.

I loathe office gift exchanges anyway, so good riddance to a bad idea. I do drink wine occasionally, but if I wanted to give a colleague a bottle of wine, then it would be on an individual basis rather than a party where you're likely to end up with something you don't like anyway. I've been to plenty of corporate functions offsite where alcohol was served, so I don't see anything inherently wrong with having wine at an office party being held at a restaurant. Setting up the party as a wine exchange, though, is a completely different issue. Although I don't work in a business office location any more, I much prefer the practice of a team opting to do gifts for a needy family rather than exchange white elephants with colleagues. I understand the desire to have an office holiday party, but the gift exchange has always seemed to me to be stupid. Hell, my siblings and I quit exchanging gifts between us and our adult kids a decade ago, and it was a huge relief. We recognized that it made no sense for us to do gifts, other than for kids under age 18, and that we'd rather concentrate on gifts for our own spouses and/or kids. If I see something that I think would be a great gift for one of my siblings, I'll get it but not as part of a holiday ritual. As for gifts for colleagues, I see no point in setting up a gift exchange; also, although there's usually the option to not participate, invariably the non-participant is made to feel bad. 

[theredhead77]

53 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

I am friendly with our HR director and I always find it shocking the type of petty nonsense (like what is on the TV in the break room) that people complain about to HR

I distinctly remember sitting in the break room in my old office watching Family Guy (it was on, I didn't turn it on) when some woman walked in, took the remote and loudly announced she found that show horribly offensive and promptly turned it to a cable news station that I happened to find horribly offensive. I'm not known to meekly sit by so I said something like 'first of all, some of us, including me were watching that and second, I find this station horribly offensive. "

I get why some people find Family Guy offensive. It isn't for everyone and it probably shouldn't be on in the breakroom at work. But neither should any news unless it's breaking news / an emergency. My rheumatologist is part of a department at a major hospital and they have signs on the TV that the TV is to remain on HGTV, NO news stations allowed. There are no remotes to be found, either.

[auntlada]

12 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

I've been to plenty of corporate functions offsite where alcohol was served, so I don't see anything inherently wrong with having wine at an office party being held at a restaurant.

If we were a private company, it probably wouldn't be a problem, but we're government. It's still probably OK and defensible that people are voluntarily doing this on their own time, but it looks bad because it is an office party even though it's off-site, and it's better if you don't have to defend it.

11 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

My rheumatologist is part of a department at a major hospital and they have signs on the TV that the TV is to remain on HGTV, NO news stations allowed. There are no remotes to be found, either.

I almost always put the TV (at least one of them) at the gym on HGTV. Definitely the one in the locker room, which is the only one you can hear without headphones and a phone or tablet -- unless this one old guy is there because he turns up the sound on a TV in the exercise room. I watched a lot of HGTV when my son was younger, as it was the channel I could watch with him in the room and know that nothing objectionable would be on even in commercials. The TV in the break room at work is almost never on, unless it's a breaking thing, but then most people are just watching on their computers.

[bilgistic]

I'm scheduled for four days this week, just because it's the week before Christmas. Everyone has more hours, but it'll go back to sparseness after Christmas/New Year's. I've got a interview possibly on Monday with a specialty pet supply boutique. Waiting to hear final word on that. That would just be another part-time job or replacement for current PT job. Stilllll looking for full-time work using my actual talents/skills.

[BookWoman56]

On 11/28/2018 at 1:11 AM, BookWoman56 said:

... Because I was targeted for a salary adjustment because of changes in the salary range for my job, my manager's manager scheduled a 1:1 with me to go over the specifics of the increase, and I took the opportunity to initiate discussions with him about my idea that my skills could be put to better use working on other components of the overall large project. He agreed, at least in theory, but with my manager now being out,  he didn't want to spring this on her as a done deal after she came back from being on leave. So I had to loop her into the discussion and explain what I was suggesting. She's not happy about it, but since her boss likes the idea, she's not going to raise a fuss. In the meantime, her boss asked me to meet with the manager of the team that is responsible for putting together all the project components; this manager also reports to my manager's boss. So we met and he's fully on board with my suggested change in role and in fact had previously requested that his boss move me over to his team. He will follow up with his boss and asked me to put in a formal request to that boss to move me to his team, which I submitted today. 

 In addition, I suggested to my manager's boss that if I move and change roles somewhat, that I would like to be in a different job title, which would pay more. Part of what's driving that request is that more income would come in very handy now that I'm not teaching on the side any more, but also I'm at the highest level of my current job title and there's nowhere to go in terms of professional development/career advancement if I stay in that same job title. 

Progress on at least part of this: my manager's boss sent an official email this weekend announcing that I now have dotted line reporting to the manager who is responsible for putting together all project components, effective today. It will have to be after the first of the year before he can formally move me over to the other team, and I guess my current manager has to sort of sign off on it (when she returns from medical leave, and no word yet on when that will be).  I knew this was coming because last week I was suddenly inundated with requests from my  new dotted-line manager, and my current manager's boss emailed me and copied the other manager plus the colleague who is temporarily in charge of our team, to say that he saw value in my suggestion and would get back to me by the end of the week, after he had a few required conversations. 

The new dotted-line manager and I have a brief meeting tomorrow to discuss what I'm interested in doing on the overall project, etc. He announced to his team today that I will be transitioning over to work directly with his team. No discussion yet on a new job title/possible raise, but that would normally take place in early spring when annual performance appraisals are released. I'm not giving up on that idea, but for now I will be focusing on transitioning over from my current workload to the new workload. Overall, I'm very pleased and somewhat surprised that things have gone so smoothly and on a fairly fast timeline for the corporate world. 

[emma675]

Congrats, BookWoman56!

[auntlada]

Another chapter in the not-happening-now wine exchange: Several of the people who had been going to participate are mad that it has been canceled or mad about how it was handled. I'm not sure exactly. I don't know how our manager handled it. Oddly, no one has said -- at least to me. They just talk around it. Anyway, they're mad because it was on individuals' own time (lunch) and not at the office. I told some of them (when they were discussing it right next to my desk while I was trying to work) that even if it was personal time and not at the office, it was planned through agency email and labeled as a division event, which gives it the appearance of impropriety. That could be bad if there's someone around looking for things to expose in government. It's not necessarily wrong in itself, but it could look bad for a government agency. One woman kept saying she didn't care what people thought about her, that she knew it was OK and who cares what other people say? I told her she can afford to do that, but the people higher up have to worry about what outside people think. This particular woman didn't seem to see a difference between a planned divisional lunch (even off-site) and people who work together in the division hanging out at a bar after work.

I thought the oddest thing about the whole lunch (which I guess we're still doing) was that people in the division planned it without talking to the division manager first. Again, perhaps I'm just stodgy, but I really think you should talk to the manager before you plan something for the division. Unless the event is a surprise party for the manager (which is probably a bad idea), the manager should at least know about divisional events and not get blindsided by them when an email invitation is sent out.

[bilgistic]

I agree with you 100%. So there.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I know this is mainly to vent your spleen here, but, but...since I believe, deep in my heart, it was all your virtual good wishes that helped me land the job I have, I feel I have to share:

Had some from the New York office reaching out to me, and also having the same people telling other lawyers in the New York office to contact me, to help them with briefs. The procedure is that they technically need to reach out to my managers when they need paralegal assistance. But I've worked with the person who reached out to me and recommended me. So I looped my managers into the email, so they would be aware. It's the holidays, so for the past couple of weeks, I've had time on my hands, looking for work. My managers told me that the fact that New York is reaching out to me without going through them means they were happy with the work I did for them previously, and this is a very...dammit, I'm blanking on the word one of them used, but the gist was, that I'm doing excellent work and it's high praise that a few are bypassing them to contact me directly.

I'm still PINCHING myself. I'm so thankful and grateful to be here. I have great managers, work for a great group, and firm. Okay, I'll shut up now.

@bilgistic, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule I love that you share all your successes and wins!! I felt the same way as you when I landed this job coming from such a shitty company. Common praise, accolades and recognition means so much when you come from nothing but criticism. Scream it from the [virtual] rooftops!