A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[GHScorpiosRule]

My welcoming committee!????

 

[hoosier80]

@GHScorpiosRule - looks like you've got all your ducks in a row!  So cute.  Glad it's going well.

To clarify from above, I typically work from home on Thurs/Friday.  It can change up, but it's been this way for at least 5 years or so.  I will typically do days off when I'm not working from home, then I don't have to drive into the office (and be bugged by certain co-workers).

I drove into the office yesterday, and had the documents that were so urgent within 15 minutes.  We have a permanent work from home person (floater position, part time type hours).  This person worked out a cushy deal with a former boss (a good friend) so they could work from home and basically set their own hours.  They do not do squat; work on one platform which has little to no work.  They've billed themselves as the subject matter expert on that platform, which is BS, as we've learned more about that platform.  This person had to produce documents for audit, yet they were not told to come into the office.  Hmmmm

Now boss, who has moved permanently to a new region/area, will be working from home 100% of the time.  He has now said he will most likely be limiting our work from home time to 1 day per week.  No Monday or Friday.  He said he's concerned about coverage.  Total crap.  I will add we have one person who sets their own hours, does NOTHING 95% of the time, and is remote 100%.  There's also the fact that everyone leaves by 3 pm - except for me.  We have operators in the office up until 6 to 6:30 p.m.  What about that coverage?  Also if I'm out or one other person is out, he's thinking the other person has to be in the office.  It makes zero sense.  I can do everything at home that I can do in the office.  The one new person on the team, his friend (which is why they got the job - zero experience - all their experience is in bookkeeping.  No offense to any bookkeepers, but it's not at all what we do.) is a smoker who takes at least 30 minute smoke breaks, which I'm sure never logs out/in for breaks.  Gone for an hour and 45 minutes the other day, left around 3 p.m.  So even if they came in at 7, that's not 8 hours (if they recorded the lunch time and long breaks).  The smoker's time away from their desk (long breaks) has been noticed by others, and others in different offices (in other regions).  If they can see it, boss clearly would see it, except their buds, so he's looking the other way (plus he's a pussy).

Now the kicker, our job titles were all changed.  Yeah, I've been around 20 years, the person everyone runs to when there's an issue.  I have the same fucking title as the person with zero experience.  No notice or explanation from management.  Makes perfect sense for this bunch.  I started browsing Indeed.com today.  Boss asked someone else, whom he relayed his master plan re: work from home crap - did she (me) say she wouldn't do it?  He is such a pussy.   The job titles don't mean much, as I've had titles that look like you're the master poobah, and the pay was shit, plus the titles seem to change as management gets a new grand plan in their heads.  We're going to do shit this new and improved way! It'll be great!!  Then about 2 years later it's, we're going to do it this way (back to the original way), it'll be great!

Boss was all super sweet to me.  This was after I responded to his text (to come into the office) very coldly.   If I would leave, he's so very screwed; I think he knows that, but doesn't think I'd actually pull the trigger.  Maybe I should gaslight him, wear professional attire into the office, and cryptically say oh I have an appointment later...…..   (he's not there but it would get back to him).

I have to think things through before I actually do something, figure out what is my best move.

[ratgirlagogo]

Two of the world's most honored and respected researchers on trauma and empathy turn out to be nightmare bosses who have bullied and harassed their employees for years.

Bessel van der Kolk:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2018/03/07/allegations-employee-mistreatment-roil-renowned-trauma-center/sWW13agQDY9B9A1rt9eqnK/story.html

and Tania Singer:

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/08/she-s-world-s-top-empathy-researcher-colleagues-say-she-bullied-and-intimidated-them

The most striking charge against Singer being that she became furious at any of her female employees that became pregnant.  She's just one of many shitty bosses at Max Planck, it seems.  Also another depressing reminder that  the problems of being a woman in science are not always eased by working for a woman scientist.  Guinevere Kauffmann, for example (another Max Planck boss) :

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/pascalemueller/guinevere-kauffmann-max-planck

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-018-05634-8

Edited August 11, 2018 by ratgirlagogo

[theredhead77]

"I know you're out of the office this week but I submitted a set up on Friday and haven't heard back"

Uh, perhaps that's because I am out of the office?!

[hoosier80]

Well, I suppose I'm in the doghouse.  Sick all weekend (probably from work crap and personal stuff that keeps going on).  Sick this morning, and I was like fuck it.  I texted the boss, who is remote now 24/7 in a completely different part of the country, part of his long term retirement planning (didn't want to live somewhere where it gets cold).  WTF.  He never responded but message showed as delivered.  

I'm sure tomorrow I'll hear from one who acts all concerned - have you been to a doctor?  I would love to tell them to fuck off, none of your business if I do or do not see a doctor.  Plus, I get more than my share of work done.  Just as said above, I may come in later, but I work later.  I also see shit that should be fixed that others ignore or question why we're doing something when it makes no sense or if something looks like it's wrong.  The others are robots, cannot see outside of the box, and do not care.  

There was one set up that was tracked on a PM's massive project log.  Not sure why they were on the project log, but two co-workers who'd reviewed the setup like 2 weeks before, couldn't remember if it was done.  Nor, could they see if another form was done.  There are tickets logged for both, so all it would take was to run a report to find the tickets (both were still open), plus all forms are saved and scanned.  The saved documents are on a shared directory.  I responded to the PM (I'd been out 2 days that week), and I told him it'd been done mid July.  He said well they (Dip and Newb) had no clue   Well we think it's done, but not sure.  He rolled his eyes when I said here's the document (he could see they'd initialed everything as being reviewed - like 40 plus sets of initials for each step). They didn't even offer to look.  

[DeLurker]

I hope you feel better @hoosier80 - it sounds like there is so much stress at work that it would be hard to properly rest up.  Definitely sucks.

[Blergh]

Without going into detail, can I just say how annoying it can be to work with folks who act dumber than boxes of rocks and do their best to dump their messes for others to clean up regardless of how busy the others are with work so they can gab a storm?

[magicdog]

On 8/13/2018 at 12:12 PM, theredhead77 said:

"I know you're out of the office this week but I submitted a set up on Friday and haven't heard back"

Uh, perhaps that's because I am out of the office?!

I had that happen to me when I was in HS.  I was working in fast food and my family planned a trip to Disneyworld.  I told my boss the dates I’d be gone.  I came back and they told me was fired because I didn’t show up for work.   I told them about the vacation and they obviously got the dates wrong to put me on the schedule.  They asked why I didn’t call them from Florida.  How am I supposed to call you about a problem I didn’t know about ??

[ParadoxLost]

We have reached the portion of the year where everyone wants to wrap up the fiscal year and start a bunch of initiatives for next year.  This means everyone who has no actual responsibilities that yield any kind of tangible results have been designated as project leads to schedule a bunch of meetings for people who don't have any time for this shit. Shit being the meetings and the workload they will generate.  A total waste of time.

Its going to be like this until those people start going on vacation again in mid November. 

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule how's it going?

[GHScorpiosRule]

6 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

@GHScorpiosRule how's it going?

It’s going GREAT! I know it’s very early days, but I really like my attorneys (the ones I’ve met so far) and the whole group. I was thrown into the deep end on Monday juggling two competing deadlines but I did it. Then past few days,  nothing. BUT. People are on vacation and my manager says do NOT STRESS. One, I’m new; two: take advantage of the downtime.

I have little projects here and there. I’m taking advantage of all the refresher technology courses. Emailed head of Pro Bono if they needed any staffing-this firm is HUGE with Pro Bono.

And what happened yesterday tells me I won’t be burned-one partner asked me to retrieve a pleading and save it in the “protected” space. One, I didn’t know there were two of them and saved it to the unprotected one. Partner came to me and told me what I did, and as I started to apologize, she brushed the apology aside and reassured me it was not my fault-but hers for not clarifying and that when she has some time on Friday, we’ll sit down so she can show me how to navigate it. Everyone has been so helpful and welcoming.???

Edited August 16, 2018 by GHScorpiosRule

[magicdog]

I'm back from my work break only to learn one of my favorite co-workers is leaving at the end of the month.  We used to be edit partners and he eventually changed shifts.  We always kept in contact though and I always liked him.  He said he wasn't getting paid what he was worth so he's headed to our Phoenix station.  He told me there's a rumor our General Manager (who runs the station) might turn up there too - he told me he hopes he stays the hell away!!  I can't say that I blame him.  The GM's butt is one of those Bitcheroo has her nose firmly implanted and they tend to think alike - or at least he lets her get away with the stupid stuff she does.  

I also found out no less than three more reporters will be departing soon - no doubt due to Bitcheroo making them miserable.  That woman need to GO!!  Somebody must notice this can't be good for the newsroom right?

 

Meanwhile, a new editor for swing shift came in yesterday.  He introduced himself (seems nice enough).  I spent the last hour of my day filling him in on how to get himself set up (HR asked me to do so) and make him fee at home.  I don't kow if I should warn him about Bitcheroo or not since he'll be working with her directly.  Or at least that he keep his edit bay doors closed at all times to prevent evedropping on the job by her minions.

[BookWoman56]

@magicdog, I would be cautious at least for a few days about warning your new colleague about Bitcheroo. One of my colleagues has been reassigned to another area because of a re-org. However, she got stuck doing the orientation for two new employees in our area, one of whom I had recommended and could vouch for as a reasonable human being. So my former colleague didn't hesitate to give her a frank assessment of the shortcomings of our manager. My former colleague wisely kept her mouth shut with the other new hire, which is a damn good thing, because a few days into the new hire being on the job, new hire made a comment that revealed she and the manager are friends outside of work. Just saying, you never know when someone new starts work, whether the newbie is completely neutral or is already BFFs with someone already in the workplace. 

[hoosier80]

Totally agree, BookWoman.   It's always a better policy to keep quiet until you really get to know someone.  

I am also kind of laying low right now.  I had been out sick last week, and the days I did work was from home.  I honestly did not feel well one bit.  Well the gruesome twosome (Dip and Newbie), apparently were a little miffed.  They both now leave well before 3 pm daily, so that meant that someone had to stay until 5 ish.  Then Dip was out one day (scheduled) and Newb said oh I'm working from 5 to 1.  Da fuq?  There is nothing at all for us to do at 5 a.m.  Maybe an account gets locked out, but not all the time.  So I had something for Newb to do around noon, nope gone before noon!  I really think it was done on purpose, and boss was out, too.  First, I was hot, then I was like, nope, bide your time.  In the meantime, I ran activity reports to see what was received before 7 a.m.  1 to 2 percent of our work, and a lot did not need to be done before normal working hours.  I ran the reports for a one year time period.  If I'm pressed about coverage, yeah the reports may be presented.  I may do it up with graphs or pie charts to emphasize that two people do not need to come in that early.

In the time I was out, Dip managed to fuck up at least 3 things, which then I had to clean up.  Again, biding my time.  There will come the right opportunity, and then I will make my move.

Then, talking with a friend in another area (related, but not the same), she'd been tasked with a project since at least March, attending multiple meetings, calls, getting stuff organized.  The top dog at our site all of a sudden gave the project to Newb.  Newb is the type who schmoozes all the fucking time; acts like  you're just to important to her, she just LOVES you!  She did work at the prior company before this division was sold, so she knows some of the people.  She acts like they are just the best buds EVAH.  None of the switching of the project to Newb was communicated to my friend.  Newb just showed up at her desk, well went through her desk when she wasn't there, found the key and got in the desk.  I think that goes against every fucking security practice we have, but no one will care.  They'll say it was urgent or some shit, and it was not.  Then Newb goes to friend's desk and says oh I'm handling ABC now.  Friend was like since when?  I've been in every call, etc.  Well top dog said so.  Friend went to her boss, top dog, and they hemmed and hawed - oh you were so overwhelmed!  I said I'd let Newb drown (which she's already doing).  She has no skills in this one bit.  I asked friend - is she blowing people?  Seriously, I don't get it.  Then, I guess Newb saw she'd pissed off my friend and went on a oh I'm so sorry, you know I just love you to pieces!  Uh, huh.  Snake.  That is what I said the other day - snake.  Well maybe a worm - she's worming her way into whatever she wants to do.  I wouldn't doubt she's gunning for friend's job, as it probably seems prestigious or more 'fun' to her.  She has no idea of the work involved.  None.  Today, Newb had to go home for lunch (close by my house), said oh it's just a 10 minute drive at lunchtime.  No, no, it's not.  Any way she goes, unless she has a private helicopter or grew wings, is a solid 30 minutes.  Another friend said oh yeah she's always gone at least an hour, mostly an hour and a half.  Now she left at 2:45 today.  So she's not clocking out for lunch.  I don't take a lunch per se most days, so I don't need to clock out (until the payroll police get on our asses - because you're supposed to take at least 30 minutes).  Dip hasn't been doing it since in this area, so I was like, ok, I'm doing the same thing.  

I'll be oh so friendly, but keeping a wary eye.  Don't trust Newb one bit.  

[bilgistic]

@hoosier80, your workplace seems really odd with the time situation. It seems like people are doing whatever the hell they want, regardless of the actual operating hours/service need, and that makes zero sense from a management (and workflow) perspective. It seems like maybe there's some overstaffing, too. Am I wrong in that assumption?

I fully understand and support people generally working an adjusted schedule near the parameters of the workday. If one is a morning person or not, or has kids to drop at school, etc. Say the office opens at 8:00, the non-morning people come in at 9 and work until 6. The parents drop off kids at school and get in at 7:30 and leave at 4:30. So most of the office personnel is there from 9ish to 4ish. But 5:00!?! And leaving at 1, when most people are just returning from lunch?!? That's kind of outrageous. You're saying there's very little work before 7 or 8am, so presumably, those folk(s) are sitting around watching the morning news or taking extended coffee breaks.

If I'm understanding the situation, the "early birds" are being paid to do little to nothing because there are no service requests (probably not the right terminology)/actionable events during the first few hours they are there because they aren't typical business hours. So those of you who are working during regular hours are doing an a heavier load of the work (a normal load, but more than the 5am-ers) but being paid the same.

That would eat me up.

Edited August 22, 2018 by bilgistic

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule how's it going???

[GHScorpiosRule]

5 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

@GHScorpiosRule how's it going???

Week three and I am in Work Heaven!!!!

No such thing as moderation! First two weeks were orientation and downtime (the latter was driving me nuts), but last Friday—threw me into the deep without a preserver! ??? Worked late on a brief. Then Monday was even crazier, juggling two deadlines-but all the attorneys understood and they had the same partner, so he knew what I was doing. Worked straight through and didn’t realize the day was over. Had some breathing room yesterday. Then this morning an associate asked if I could work late tomorrow-same case as from last Friday. They’re keeping me busy and hopping and I’M LOVING IT!!! I have missed doing  this work so much! And though it’s early days, I love my practice group, I love the attitude and respect of the attorneys I’ve met and worked with thus far.

[Mindthinkr]

4 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Week three and I am in Work Heaven!!!!

No such thing as moderation! First two weeks were orientation and downtime (the latter was driving me nuts), but last Friday—threw me into the deep without a preserver! ??? Worked late on a brief. Then Monday was even crazier, juggling two deadlines-but all the attorneys understood and they had the same partner, so he knew what I was doing. Worked straight through and didn’t realize the day was over. Had some breathing room yesterday. Then this morning an associate asked if I could work late tomorrow-same case as from last Friday. They’re keeping me busy and hopping and I’M LOVING IT!!! I have missed doing  this work so much! And though it’s early days, I love my practice group, I love the attitude and respect of the attorneys I’ve met and worked with thus far.

I am so chuffed to hear this good news and that you have settled in. I wish many more happy days to you. 

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule 

[ParadoxLost]

I generally find that people get promoted for their level of laziness and ability to convince a room that it was someone else that farted.

I'm too busy for this nonsense.  I think I'm going to enlighten some people on the saying he who smelt it dealt it. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

Is this the proper use of irony?

To whit: NOW that I finally have a full-time job, one that I got on my own, how ironic that the one staffing agency that couldn’t be bothered to email or call me or respond to my inquiries about job possibilities, are now emailing me to inform me of X “great opportunity!” for you after seeing your resume on [insert site]!??

I will admit I got some petty pleasure (oooh! Alliteration!) in informing them I’m no longer on the market, as they would KNOW since my resume states where I am working now and that it’s a full-time job and not a contract assignment.??

I finally managed to meet my Paralegal Manager, who has been out of the office since I started. It was a good meeting and she told me how everyone I'd met with were impressed by me and liked me and wanted me to join the firm. I...after so many years of being on what felt like the edge of the cliff and being burned and taken advantage of, I can’t put into words how what she said affected me or made me feel. Just only that I’m glad I’m here. And I’m staying!

I’ve helped out other practice areas where I can and they’re pleased with my work product.

Last week was a killer-worked 15 hours on Thursday for a filing; got home at 1:30; asleep by 2:30; up by 5, headed to the office early to put together stuff for client’s in-house counsel, and another filing-but left at 6.

Ask me how I feel about my job!?

[Hanahope]

3 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Is this the proper use of irony?

To whit: NOW that I finally have a full-time job, one that I got on my own, how ironic that the one staffing agency that couldn’t be bothered to email or call me or respond to my inquiries about job possibilities, are now emailing me to inform me of X “great opportunity!” for you after seeing your resume on [insert site]!??

I will admit I got some petty pleasure (oooh! Alliteration!) in informing them I’m no longer on the market, as they would KNOW since my resume states where I am working now and that it’s a full-time job and not a contract assignment.??

No doubt its because now you are working at a firm that the agency deems "good enough" to try and poach you from for another position.  Nothing necessarily to do with you, per se, but if your firm thinks you're good enough, then the staffing agency will too.

I had experience with staffing agencies before.  If you haven't worked for at least one of a certain limited number of firms, they won't give you the time of day, even if you were otherwise plenty qualified.

[bilgistic]

I've been looking for work despite not being mentally hearty enough to endure the process, but you know, when have I ever been.

Anyhoo, in my search, I've also posted my resume on various job boards, and the recruiters have come knocking. As many of you know, my experience of the past 11 years (that I worked--not this past year while I've focused on my mental health) was in commercial real estate, as a marketing specialist/writer/editor/researcher/graphic designer/office manager (which included all the other work) across three positions. My previous positions are much of the same, but in other industries, including non-profit, government contracting, a public/holdings company, economic development/urban research.

So it puzzles me when I get emails from insurance company recruiters telling me I'd be a "great fit" for an account manager position. Methinks they are just carpet-bombing job seekers.

I get some that are closer to the mark, but they still aren't quite there. I've gotten a couple over the past 12 hours or so that are for digital marketing something-or-another. That's not exactly my skillset, but that's not to say I couldn't learn. I'm a fast learner. What I'm left wondering, though, is do I tell Close to the Mark Recruiter, "Sure, I'll meet with you about Not Quite Right job," while secretly hoping s/he will have something more suitable available or is that just a huge waste of everyone's time?

Where I am is here: I do not in any way mentally nor emotionally have the energy to go full-tilt on this. I need work, but I am still trying to get my meds sorted out after my psych doc discharged me because he didn't feel he could help me. So, YEAH... It's A LOT to handle right now.

I NEVER AGAIN want a job where people are emailing me at 9 and 10pm because there's some "emergency". I'm not a heart surgeon and no one's dying if a photo isn't cropped correctly. I'm wanting to take a major step back in responsibilities from where I was. I just can't take on that emotional and mental labor again. Obviously, that means less money, but relative sanity is more important.

@GHScorpiosRule, I have applied for a couple of proofreader positions with the "creative" arm of your placement agency and...*crickets*. One of those jobs would've been a great fit.

I'm a little crazed right now, so this post is a mess. I have a new psych intake appointment in the morning to get set up with a new prescribing psychiatrist. I neglected to get one of my anti-anxiety meds refilled a few days ago and just realized it today. I haven't slept in two days.

Advice needed on how to step back-slash-away after having too much job responsibility/needing a career-slash-industry change/taking a year away to "get better" and still not being better? And how to ask for the right help from these recruiters?

Thanks, y'all. I'm a mess.

Edited August 30, 2018 by bilgistic

[theredhead77]

11 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

So it puzzles me when I get emails from insurance company recruiters telling me I'd be a "great fit" for an account manager position. Methinks they are just carpet-bombing job seekers

I'm on my phone and have a lot more to rant about this but they're just casting a net to build their downline. Me and my 15 years of IT analyst/ support work were a "great fit"

[bilgistic]

Ha! Thank you!

[AgentRXS]

12 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I'm on my phone and have a lot more to rant about this but they're just casting a net to build their downline. Me and my 15 years of IT analyst/ support work were a "great fit"

And so was my previous receptionist and retail experience prior to my current job. SMH.

@bilgistic what about taking on a part-time job just to get your feet wet? Also, is there any local government jobs you are qualified for? I know for me that I was at my most unhealthiest mentally when I worked for small companies due to the pressure and lack of HR/ethical standards.

Edited August 30, 2018 by AgentRXS

[theredhead77]

I was also a "great fit" to be a financial adviser at places like PrimeAmerica despite my overwhelming ZERO experience in the financial industry (and also I'm terrible with money)

[AgentRXS]

43 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

I was also a "great fit" to be a financial adviser at places like PrimeAmerica despite my overwhelming ZERO experience in the financial industry

I was a barista at Starbucks and their reps would come in and hound me every morning, saying my personality would thrive at their company.  My personality is plain at best, bitchy at worst. I finally took an interview, thinking "Why not?". I understood nothing they said except that the most important thing was to recruit more PrimeAmerica employees into the fold. Afterwards, it made me chuckle when I realized that most of their reps were my age at the time (18-20) and in no way were capable of having the education needed to be a true financial adviser and  made me wonder what kind of idiots fell for their schemes.

[bilgistic]

12 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

And so was my previous receptionist and retail experience prior to my current job. SMH.

@bilgistic what about taking on a part-time job just to get your feet wet? Also, is there any local government jobs you are qualified for? I know for me that I was at my most unhealthiest mentally when I worked for small companies due to the pressure and lack of HR/ethical standards.

I am looking at everything--certainly contract work and part-time work. I need to make X amount of money a month to make rent and keep up my health insurance and the life to which my cats have become accustomed, though. Obviously, any work would slow the current financial hemorrhage.

[theredhead77]

3 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I am looking at everything--certainly contract work and part-time work. I need to make X amount of money a month to make rent and keep up my health insurance and the life to which my cats have become accustomed, though. Obviously, any work would slow the current financial hemorrhage.

It's certainly not the top choice nor a non-stressful choice but many companies are ramping up for the holidays. If you can get in with Starbucks or Peets they offer benefits at less than full time, too! And they promote from within.

[AgentRXS]

Starbucks is a great company to work for for part-time work, while you get back on your feet.  I'd highly recommend it.

[bilgistic]

I have a couple of ideas of part-time places that would be manageable for my social anxiety and introversion; I'll contact them tomorrow. I just woke up from what was supposed to be a much shorter nap than it ended up being, but I was exhausted after little sleep over the past few days.

I had a comprehensive, draining, emotional psych intake/gatekeeper appointment this morning (new doc appt is 9/17), then filled prescriptions, came home for a few minutes, went to the podiatrist for an ingrown toenail-ectomy (just one side), then back to the pharmacy for antibiotics for the toe and then back home.

[ABay]

This isn't a vent so much as a huge sigh of relief--I survived my first week of teaching the Course That Ruined My Summer. It got off to a rocky start. There's a space between "not as engaged as I'd like them to be" and "holy hell, shut the fuck up, you rude child" that I'm still trying to find. But I survived! Cue Gloria Gaynor and pass me a fruity adult beverage with a colorful umbrella.

[theredhead77]

@bilgistic there is no shame in making focusing on your health a full time job. It doesn't pay but if you have the means to get by getting healthy will take you further than any part time job ever will.

[Hero]

I need some advice, please. I have a feeling that my boss wants me to take over someone else's position when they retire. 

I really, really don't want to take that position. My boss is "training" me on what this person does. 

The thing is, that I did this person's position for a few weeks while they were out. I made a few posts about this a few months ago during that time. 

I can't work that closely with my boss. She drives me crazy. I honestly had suicidal thoughts while working that position, and it was only for a few weeks! My boss is unbearable and very demanding. I could barely get any of my work done because she kept giving me her crap to do  

The position is full time and the one i'm currently in is part time. 

What I wanted advice on is that if my boss asks me if I want that position, what should I say to her? I feel like she expects me to take it. 

I don't have the mental health to deal with her. I still work with her in my current position, but it is not as closely. She is a very mean person and I wouldn't be surprised if her heart is full of ice. She is not understanding of anything and I honestly don't like her. 

[AgentRXS]

4 hours ago, Hero said:

What I wanted advice on is that if my boss asks me if I want that position, what should I say to her? I feel like she expects me to take it

Are you ok with staying part-time? Tell her you aren't interested because you prefer to stay part-time.

If you are interested in obtaining a full-time position within the company but not THAT position, let her know that you don't feel you are a good fit for the position and try to explain why without bringing your personal feelings about your boss into it.

[DeLurker]

16 hours ago, Hero said:

What I wanted advice on is that if my boss asks me if I want that position, what should I say to her? I feel like she expects me to take it. 

Tell her that after having a chance to more fully explore the function, the position is not consistent with the career objectives you have for yourself, but you appreciate her consideration. 

She'll probably ask some questions to try to put you on the spot so have some situations in mind and be able to neutrally state why they are inconsistent with your goals for yourself.

Things like -

I'm looking for an opportunity that allows me to interface with multiple departments/functions to get a better understanding of their operational objectives;

I'm looking for an opportunity that allows me to interface more with marketing/clients/tech support; and

I feel my strengths are better suited toward a fill-in-the-blank and want to position myself to gain experience in that area.

[magicdog]

Yesterday was my work buddy’s last day at the job.  He’s on his way to Phoenix as we speak - er....post. 

Before I left for the day he came to say goodbye and gave me the warmest hug!  He promised to keep in touch.  I told him he’d better if he knew what was good for him!

I won’t lie;  I had a case of the sniffles as we parted.   

[ABay]

@DeLurker, @AgentRXS, you should open a consulting firm for employees who need help navigating managerial evil and other job-related problems. Let me know when you've set up shop.

[BookWoman56]

On 8/31/2018 at 5:10 PM, Hero said:

I need some advice, please. I have a feeling that my boss wants me to take over someone else's position when they retire. 

I really, really don't want to take that position. My boss is "training" me on what this person does. 

The thing is, that I did this person's position for a few weeks while they were out. I made a few posts about this a few months ago during that time. 

I can't work that closely with my boss. She drives me crazy. I honestly had suicidal thoughts while working that position, and it was only for a few weeks! My boss is unbearable and very demanding. I could barely get any of my work done because she kept giving me her crap to do  

The position is full time and the one i'm currently in is part time. 

What I wanted advice on is that if my boss asks me if I want that position, what should I say to her? I feel like she expects me to take it. 

I don't have the mental health to deal with her. I still work with her in my current position, but it is not as closely. She is a very mean person and I wouldn't be surprised if her heart is full of ice. She is not understanding of anything and I honestly don't like her. 

I went through something similar a few years ago, when one of my colleagues and I were both contractors. Our manager posted a regular full-time position twice during the first six months we were there, and neither of us applied for it. Our unwillingness to apply should have given him a clue, but it didn't. One of my full-time colleagues asked why I wasn't applying, and I explained the level of the position posted would be a step down for me, and I had no interest in going down the career ladder instead of up. The manager finally upgraded the position and reposted it, and got word to me through another colleague that he would be unhappy if I didn't apply for this one; based on the comments, it was pretty clear that if I didn't apply for it, he would suddenly decide that it was time to terminate my contract. And after all that, the fucker then proceeded to give the job to someone he knew through church, who had minimal qualifications for the position, and who stayed there a grand total of 8 months before jumping ship to a different job that was actually in his field. The manager did eventually hire me for a regular full-time position, and then proceeded to fuck me over a year later, but it led to me getting the position I have now, which is a much better fit, higher salary, 100% telecommute, etc. 

Because you've already tried out the job, so to speak, you're in a position where you can easily and credibly explain your unwillingness to apply for or take the job if offered. The suggestions you've already gotten from @AgentRXS and @DeLurker are good; I would just re-emphasize not to make your refusal about this person's personality and/or shortcomings as a manager. Here's the thing: you shouldn't have to give detailed reasons as to why you don't want the job. A simple "The position is not a good fit for me" or "The position doesn't align well with my current career goals" should be sufficient. 

Edited September 2, 2018 by BookWoman56

[GHScorpiosRule]

Hey y’all. I just about broke into tears Thursday night. Felt like someone who has just gotten out of an abusive relationship and the old insecurities seeped in.

Had a short filing which I completed in 2 hours, but started freaking out  because I couldn’t verify two pieces of info from the same source because that source wasn’t located in the same folder as the other sources.

The partner wasn’t in the office so I emailed her that I was done but for those two references. She didn’t respond and she didn’t say I needed to stay late, so I left when I was supposed to. I did look for the document and luckily the excerpts cited were correct so phew. But they hadn’t filed by the time I left.?? And all kinds of scenarios are going through my head: did I mess up? Would this be something used against me? Should I have looked for the document first, delaying turning it in? I didn’t want to try and pull it from the court docket because if it had already been downloaded then it would cost to pull it again and it was a sealed filing so it wouldn’t be free. 

So this morning I went to her office and asked about my edits and she APOLOGIZED to me because she never replied back (she was slammed) but I did good work. And she said I could take over uploading the pleadings and rename them, etc.  and should future filings be before 5:30, she’d have me do them.  And because I don’t have my work email linked to my phone, I don’t know if there were issues or questions. BUT, partner gave me her cell phone so we can at least text each other or I can call her should a similar situation happen where I haven’t heard from her after I’ve given her/the team my edits/suggestions,  if we need to.
She really is AWESOME. Hell, all my attorneys are awesome! I don’t know why I was stressing and thinking I messed up! Like I said, burned so many times, I reverted to old habits.

Still, made it through one month. I don’t think I’ll totally relax until after 90 days. Good thing is I’m able to help on other matters when I have down time and I’ve gotten positive feedback for the assistance.

Just needed to unload.

And @Hero, I don’t have any words of advice that @AgentRXS, @DeLurker and especially @BookWoman56 have offered, the latter seems best since based on your previous comments, this full-time position isn’t what you want and you want to stay working part-time only?

[Hero]

Thank you all for your advice!! I really appreciate it. My boss has a really bad attitude and she spoke to me in a way that I didn't appreciate. Taking that position would literally drive me crazy. 

I have a feeling that if she asks me to take that position, and I say no, she will keep badgering me about it or act really cold towards me. If it gets to that, I am going to go to HR. She has gotten away with acting really terribly to people for way too long. 

I am a pushover and that is my weakness. I let her speak to me terribly and I didn't say anything about it. But, I am worth more than that and I should never let her do that to me. 

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule I've been in similar anxiety filled thoughts because I've been fucked over so many times. I was a complete wreck in my last position any time my boss wanted to talk with me when it wasn't our normal meeting time. A few weeks short of a year, on my first day back from vacation he called me into his office with papers on his desk. I about had a panic attack that I was getting let go but instead I was getting a 20% raise.

Your new situation sounds a lot like mine, it's a normal work environment but we're so conditioned to shitty, abusive situations, always preparing for the worst. Keep reminding yourself of all the praise you're getting and no one expects perfection in your first month, 60, 90 or 365 days. And normal employers know that people make mistakes, learn and move forward.

[BookWoman56]

4 hours ago, Hero said:

Thank you all for your advice!! I really appreciate it. My boss has a really bad attitude and she spoke to me in a way that I didn't appreciate. Taking that position would literally drive me crazy. 

I have a feeling that if she asks me to take that position, and I say no, she will keep badgering me about it or act really cold towards me. If it gets to that, I am going to go to HR. She has gotten away with acting really terribly to people for way too long. 

I am a pushover and that is my weakness. I let her speak to me terribly and I didn't say anything about it. But, I am worth more than that and I should never let her do that to me. 

If she badgers you about your reason for saying no, then you might consider just replying, "I'm not really comfortable discussing my reasons in any further detail." If she persists after that, then yes, go to HR and give them the sequence of events. 

[Hero]

If I do tell HR on my boss, I'm just nervous about what she is going to do and how she is going to treat me. 

[BookWoman56]

I understand having some nervousness about going to HR, but you should probably consider this: If she begins to harass you about not taking the job, how will that be any worse than how she will treat you if you go to HR? There's obviously a lot to consider, but if you do complain to HR, they will probably let her know she needs to back off. That said, you should probably ask yourself if she will go so far as to fire you for BS reasons if you complain. In theory, HR would probably not support her firing you soon after you file a complaint, but things may be different in your company. 

Are you able to move to another part of the company any time soon? Do you want a full-time position instead of your current part-time slot? I'm not recommending this approach necessarily, but I've had colleagues before and have done it myself, where you take a job with a horrible manager just so you can get the benefits and so forth of a full-time position, and then once you've been in the job the required minimum time, start posting for other jobs within the company. 

[theredhead77]

My old, abusive asshole boss who fired me was creeping on my LinkedIn. I've had nothing but success so whatever but I am annoyed he was creeping before I could update it with my year of accomplishments, making it even better.

[ParadoxLost]

I'm incredibly frustrated with work. 

All the sales functions are in this 'its end of year/quarter' selling frenzy.  One of my responsibilities is to reign them in and make them prove that their opportunity has enough of a return to support complexity if they need something custom to their customer.  And I don't suspend that for year end because I and our manufacturing plants have to live with your two month manic decisions all year long.  Year after year after year.

They have one requirement.  Forecast that this opportunity will make X dollars.  Can they do that?  No.  Instead they want me to come up with "creative" ideas on how to surf a pink pachyderm through a hurricane without Dumbo's feather before they tell me if they are making money or losing money on this deal.  Its not hard (except that someone might make them accountable for gaining profitable business).  You expect to be able to negotiate X price for Y volume.

I am slammed like you would not believe.  I just need little help in triaging your requests to maximize your profit.  I ask this question every time.  Why do I have to ask you a half dozen times on the same request?  Why do you escalate the question to another person every time I request the info you are required to provide?  That person just relays the question you already asked me to me.  You aren't new here and I'm not new here.  You know that you can't avoid me because frankly the higher up you go the less people know and the less willing they are to put their ass on the line without me confirming that I can fly a pink pachyderm through a hurricane.  And now my severely stressed day has me inundated from six directions on the least important problem of the day.  And the more you do that shit, the more convinced I become that you aren't making one incremental dollar for this thing and its a total waste of everyone's time. 

Lets add in that you are being an asshole about it and I'm "not thinking about the company".  Complexity plagues us forever.  No one ever follows up if your opportunity isn't making any money.  Just how my company works.

Then lets then add insult to injury and recognize that we have a complexity reduction initiative in progress and I'm getting grief for not instantly trying to come up with the stupidest solution in the history of my company for this opportunity that you won't prove makes money for a product you've been trying and failing to launch for a decade. 

I think my day would be improved if there was a heavy bag to exercise with during the day.  That would probably freak out HR with the number of people in the office that would likely make use of it.

 In all seriousness, I probably need to add in daily walks to get away from this when it becomes too much.

[riley702]

OOH, Would have tiny o's if that message were actually able to be delivered in a private, unprovable confab.

[BookWoman56]

@ParadoxLost, I don't know what to say other than that you work with idiots and jerks.

My work life is going to be hellish for the next 6 weeks or so. The team who does the development work on a project that I then have to document was running seriously behind on the project. The project manager was able to get a 1-month extension. As far as I can tell, the only thing the extension did was give the development team additional time to fuck around and not get their work done. So at this point, they're just now more or less done with development, when they should have been done with it a few weeks ago, given the 1-month extension, and I am now stuck doing documentation for both major components of this project with no possibility of another extension.  I'm looking at about 6 weeks of 50-60 hours of work, with no overtime because I'm salaried. I would mind the additional hours a lot less if it weren't for feeling like the development team does the same thing every damn year, and their manager does nothing to ensure the development work is proceeding on schedule.