A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[DeLurker]

Sorry...I thought I was being more quiet.

[bosawks]

I, in turn, should apologize for the weeping and the wailing and the rending of garments.

[hoosier80]

Bosawks, I had to fly to Chicago years ago for a conference/training session - which the session I think was 4 hours.  I flew out and back same day.  The person I went with was more concerned about what bars we could hit.  I just wanted to get the hell home, make sure we didn't miss the flight.  Yeah we flew into Midway and took the train into the city.  Huge waste of time as the conference speaker was bad. Long, horrible day for nothing.  I also worked as a technical trainer for the company, had to fly twice into a southern city (mid major, no direct flights there) back/forth same day.  The training took maybe an hour or so.  Now it would've been done via some remote link up.  The second time, major storms broke out across the south, the plane that was to be our plane had issues, which got repaired after a two hour delay.  Oh, and the travel bitch for our company would always put me on sort of prop commuter plane, even if there was another way to go, just one one leg of the trip.  I hate flying, so not a good time for me.  I was glad to get out of that position.  I feel your pain.

[zxy556575]

The constant power struggles and finger-pointing between the product management and support teams is making me crazy lately. Worse than usual, I mean. 

 

You guys may have already seen this Conference Call in Real Life video. If you participate in web meetings, it'll be very familiar.

 

More than half of the people at my company work remotely and everyone uses IM to communicate throughout the day. A fairly new person was part of an online presentation and when it came time for him to share his screen, he didn't realize he should exit his IM client. Sure enough, someone IM'd him to make mocking comments about the meeting and the people running it, and his IM window was visible to all attendees for like a solid minute before he realized and closed it out. Embarrassing! The person he was talking to -- although not him so much -- got in a world of trouble and was moved out of her supervisory job 3 months later. It was pretty bogus because everyone talks shit to each other during online meetings, even our president and the HR manager.

 

The web meeting software we use can check for attentiveness; basically if someone has another program open and puts the webinar in the background. I always leave it running in the foreground on one laptop and use another to do my actual work. Also am careful not to email anyone else who's in the meeting. "Yep, I'm here and paying attention! Can't prove otherwise!"

Edited February 5, 2016 by lordonia

[bilgistic]

That video was funny. "Leadercast Live" sounds exceptionally douchey, though. I want my pet rescue ranch already.

[janestclair]

Meetings are the worst. Training meetings even more so. Although one time we had a training on differentiated instruction (I think) and we made the presenter cry.  That was sort of fun. Coincidentally, that was the last time we ever had an outside presenter come in on inservice days.  Never present a graph to a room full of science teachers if your axes are not labeled. 

 

Today's work peeve is IT related.  I put a ticket in the other day because my computer wasn't working.  I logged off, and the next teacher logged in 5 seconds after me, and nothing happened. There was nothing on the screen.  This has happened before and I figured it was the same issue. So I grabbed a student laptop to use, put the ticket in and went about my day using the laptop.  The IT guy came today to do something with the laptops and I mentioned the ticket.  He's like - oh, the splitter is unplugged for the monitor.  So I'm like, "How did I get unplugged in the 5 seconds between my logout and the other teacher's login? I wouldn't have ever thought a plug was loose with the timing of how it happened." I'm not a computer illiterate, but no one was even near the plug.  He was such a douchebag about it.  Like I was a dumb ass for not seeing that, when it is not my job to diagnose the problem.  No one was even near it, and meanwhile, they had recently replaced the monitor, so clearly whoever did that didn't tighten the plug all the way, or it wouldn't have randomly come unplugged.  Whatever.  So then he wanted the laptop I was using and I logged off and shut the screen and gave it to him because he's standing there waiting for it, and he starts in about how I shouldn't shut the lid it until it turns all the way off because reasons.  Ummmm...you were waiting for it. I am in the middle of trying to teach a class.  Kindly go fuck yourself, you condescending prick.

[DeLurker]

I would periodically unplug or disconnect a part of our support staff's office equipment - monitor, light, keyboard, etc...they would inevitably call the IT guys who always checked the connections first.  The IT guys were all pretty young and on the cute side, the support staff was all young and female so the IT guys hung around for a few extra minutes making them feel goofy and semi-flirting.  They just assumed the cleaning staff had knocked something loose while vacuuming (like that ever happened)...and they (the support staff)  never ever checked the plugs/connections no matter how many times I did it to them. 

 

What can I say?  A bored DeLurker is prone to stir up a little mischief.  And I am a bit of an ass.

[Quof]

I've always found the way to get the IT guys to respond immediately is to say "I'm trying to do something....." and they respond "Stop it. I'll be right up."  Beats putting in a ticket with Helpdesk and waiting for a response. 

[bilgistic]

But wait...

I work at a global company with 37,000 employees. My local office has 100ish, including an IT tech. We have to call the IT service desk in Dallas (I'm in Charlotte) to report, for example, that a printer isn't working. Dallas then tells our local tech that the printer down the hall needs attention.

Management is run the same way. It's preposterous.

[Sandman87]

bilgistic, as someone who has been a tech guy I need to know: What is preposterous about a help desk opening tickets so that problems can be tracked, and assigning the appropriate people to work on them? And what difference does it make where the help desk itself is located when their entire job is to be a voice on a phone or a destination for an email?

Edited February 6, 2016 by Sandman87

[bilgistic]

The issue is multilayered. It's not a two-second call or IM to Dallas to say "the printer's down"; it's an at-least 15-minute phone call including hold time. (Yes, I really am too busy.) The help desk goes through a whole troubleshooting process including taking control of my screen. I get they need data, but the whole floor can't print, not just me. The printers are new and are going down at least once every week. I get they are under demand (two per office), but the old ones went down with the same frequency. That points to a different, recurring pattern of underlying problems that should be addressed instead of just bandaging the quick fix.

There's one IT tech in our office. The help desk isn't sending tickets about things happening in our office to anyone BUT him to fix it. It's an inefficiency to call another city when the issue is in our office. The corporation seems pretty happy with inefficiencies, though.

Edited February 6, 2016 by bilgistic

[DeLurker]

I used to work for the largest S & L at the corporate HQ.  They had the same type of structure that bilgistic's company has and I totally get the rationale of a centralized IT department, but there is a downside.  The S & L was always going to prioritize the needs of the actual banking function and the brick & mortar locations, over anyone else - including our commercial division in real estate that was 20% of assets on the balance sheet.  While I understand the need to ensure your main source of business is prioritize, the cost of downtime for other divisions in a computer driven environment wasn't looked at favorably because of the high salary positions nor was it ever a justification for your division's performance cost..

 

My SVP managed to create a "prototyping" tech group to write programs specifically for our division's functions.  In reality, it was our own division's IT group and they handled everything from prototyping, to installation and troubleshooting of equipment for us.  The cost-benefit for us worked out each year we had them. 

 

Eventually, it got ugly on the executive floor about why we had our own IT group and they got folded into the corporate function but it was good while it lasted.

[auntlada]

bilgistic, as someone who has been a tech guy I need to know: What is preposterous about a help desk opening tickets so that problems can be tracked, and assigning the appropriate people to work on them? And what difference does it make where the help desk itself is located when their entire job is to be a voice on a phone or a destination for an email?

 

Help desks are OK. Help desks in other cities are inefficient. We have the same set-up at our office. We call the other city or email or fill out an onine ticket and report a problem. They call back (if necessary, and it usually is) and walk through stuff. Then they try to call someone in our office and end up looking around for someone at his or her desk. Often, they're calling for someone who isn't at work that day. (You'd think they'd know that info, but they don't. We, on the other hand, do.) Maybe, maybe, if you're lucky, someone will come by in the afternoon to fix your two-minute problem. If we were allowed to call the people in the office down the hall, it would be much more efficient. Supposedly, the centralization was to save money, but it doesn't. We've looked at the numbers, and we're paying more now -- and getting less service. Doesn't matter.

[zxy556575]

I work remotely for a software company and we get new company computers every three years. It was my time last month for new equipment and I elected to buy my old laptop from them. As per policy, one of our IT guys scheduled a desktop sharing session so he could wipe my old laptop of all company-related software and information. I had of course already done that before our call, but then he logged on and proceeded to delete my email client, anti-virus, and MS Office programs, among other things. That was my personal email account and software! Our chat link wasn't working so I wasn't able to explain and ask him to stop.

 

(Which, frankly, didn't matter because I had of course done a full image backup before I let him get his paws on anything. But still. I'm only keeping the old laptop as a backup but that doesn't mean I want to lose all my system preferences and spend hours setting everything up again.)

 

This is the same department that asked all employees three times last year to send them our laptop serial numbers and IDs, because they keep losing shit. There was a lot of departmental turnover, but get a damned spreadsheet. Good lord.

[BookWoman56]

I can see both sides of the remote help desk issue. If you have a hardware problem (components not plugged in, printer doing weird stuff, etc.,) then yes, it makes more sense to rely on the local techs. I work for a huge company (250,000+ employees) so obviously our help desk is going to be remote, and there are undoubtedly some small offices where there is no onsite tech support. Roughly 6 months ago, I began working 100% remotely, so onsite tech support does not exist for me either. But 99% of the time that I've called the help desk, it's been an issue they could resolve by taking over my computer. It's generally been things such as an automatic system upgrade resulted in changing software version 19 to version 20, but because a specific program I use is compatible only with 19 and not with 20, they have to downgrade me back to version 19.

 

That said, though, to me it makes sense to route all calls/requests through a central line, who can determine whether a local tech is needed or not, and track the issues. We can use a chat function with the help desk, and then if it's an issue that is not an easy fix, they initiate a phone call and take over the computer. I'd guess that part of the reason for a centralized help desk is to track what types of issues are occurring and to see if there is a particular group or individual who is having higher than average problems, and if so, figure out what is causing the issue.

 

A different pet peeve, though, is incompetent employees who hang on by switching departments on an ongoing basis. There is one person in my group whose work is consistently late, who frequently does not understand what he is supposed to do (often because he has not bothered to do the prep work or paid attention to discussions), and whose work, once submitted, often has to be redone by someone else because it's crap. Everyone in our group knows he's incompetent; it's at the point that project managers will escalate it if he is assigned as the sole resource for something. I was shocked to learn the guy has been with the company for 5 years, although he's only been in our group for about 9 months. Evidently he coasted for a couple of  years in one position, transferred to another group for a couple of years, and then transferred to our group. It seems to be one of those cases where previous managers didn't ding him on appraisals as much as they should have because he indicated he would be transferring out, thereby eliminating the need for the manager to give a low performance rating, develop a plan to improve performance, and then document the hell out of his sub-par performance. So I guess in this case, the pet peeve is not just for the incompetent employee but the manager who fails to document inadequate work. The end result is that on paper, he looks like someone who would be a good addition to a group but in reality is a drain because other group members have to do not only their own work but most of his as well.

[Sandman87]

bilgistic, I see the problem now. It's not the basic setup, it's that the help desk is badly managed and providing poor customer service. If there's ever an opportunity to do so, you might suggest that the local techs be allowed to call the help desk to say "I'm going to work on problem X. Please open a ticket for customer Y and assign it to me. I'll fill in the details." We used to do that all the time.

[auntlada]

bilgistic, I see the problem now. It's not the basic setup, it's that the help desk is badly managed and providing poor customer service. If there's ever an opportunity to do so, you might suggest that the local techs be allowed to call the help desk to say "I'm going to work on problem X. Please open a ticket for customer Y and assign it to me. I'll fill in the details." We used to do that all the time.

 

We used to have an IT person in our office who would do that for us. Being a useful, helpful, knowledgeable person, she left for another job, as all the other IT people with those attributes have done (or are trying desperately to do).

[hoosier80]

Almost all of what is termed Level 1 IT is in India.  Well,that is until we transfer to our new company's network.  I have no idea what they have.  It's very frustrating as everything has to route through that group, unless you know specifically which group it should go to - then you can assign to a group directly.  Nothing better than getting an IM from India almost right after you enter a ticket, where you specifically say Joe Blow in xxxx knows about it, then they ask you again all about it.  The local desktop team was outsourced, down to I think two people.  Now there's a ton of tickets due to our switching to a different way of logging in, due to moving and also being on another network, too.  It's a general cluster.  We were told yeah, expect OT to test all this crap and expect to be in the office.  This has been in the works for well over a year, so basically their inability to plan and execute is now our problem.  I've heard new offices also have a lot less room at each individual desk.  Even vp's are in cubicles - very few offices.  Oh well, suffer like the rest of us.  Actually, they could tell me to stay remote 100% of the time.  I'd gladly save them the per square foot costs in the building.

[bilgistic]

That brings up a work annoyance. I HATE working in cubes. It's loud as hell and the jackasses in my office just talk over each other on their respective phone calls. I am very introverted, have anxiety and have a sensitivity to too much noise and lights. Trips to Walmart, for example, are out of the question for me (plus Walmart is evil). I have to wear earbuds and sunglasses to get through a trip to the grocery store.

But for a few exceptions, everyone is in a cube at my workplace. It's a nightmare. The blowhard adjacent to me doesn't know what "inside voice" means. I hear my boss telling the same stupid stories over and over on the phone to clients and I want to scream. My coworker has taken to wearing earplugs. It's so bad for morale. My anxiety is off the charts daily, but that's the work environment. Employers don't give a shit what individuals actually need to thrive in the workplace.

[Quof]

I have a 9:00 am meeting tomorrow, a 2 hour drive from my home.  We are expecting a blizzard beginning early afternoon.  So I should be driving right into it on my way home.  Overnight bag packed just in case.  I always have winter provisions in my trunk.  Yay, me. 

[bilgistic]

There is no work (talking white collar here) anything worth risking your life or your vehicle that you need to get to work.

[Quof]

I know I can get to the meeting, which is pretty critical. It's getting back that will be an issue. Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping to spend a day or more holed up in a hotel, at company expense, watching trash tv and eating take out?

[auntlada]

Sounds good to me.

[MargeGunderson]

I know I can get to the meeting, which is pretty critical. It's getting back that will be an issue. Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping to spend a day or more holed up in a hotel, at company expense, watching trash tv and eating take out?

There's nothing wrong with that at all. I love a hotel room with a giant bed all to myself and free cable. If you get stuck (fingers crossed!) watch Teen Mom for me!

[BookWoman56]

That brings up a work annoyance. I HATE working in cubes. It's loud as hell and the jackasses in my office just talk over each other on their respective phone calls. I am very introverted, have anxiety and have a sensitivity to too much noise and lights. Trips to Walmart, for example, are out of the question for me (plus Walmart is evil). I have to wear earbuds and sunglasses to get through a trip to the grocery store.

But for a few exceptions, everyone is in a cube at my workplace. It's a nightmare. The blowhard adjacent to me doesn't know what "inside voice" means. I hear my boss telling the same stupid stories over and over on the phone to clients and I want to scream. My coworker has taken to wearing earplugs. It's so bad for morale. My anxiety is off the charts daily, but that's the work environment. Employers don't give a shit what individuals actually need to thrive in the workplace.

While I've frequently had to work in a cubicle, most of the time it's been in areas with little noise. But prior to switching positions with the same employer about 6 months ago, I was stuck in a cube surrounded by people who handled complaints and thus were on the phone all day with irate customers. As a tech writer, I am frequently working on documents that are hundreds of pages long, and it is damn near impossible to concentrate and keep focused on the  internal consistency of a long document when there are constant loud conversations going on around you.

 

My new manager did something I wish  more managers did. She had never had a tech writer before and initially was thinking the tech writer would need to be in the same office that she is. Almost half the team is on one side of the country, and the rest are mostly on the other side, with a couple of people working remotely. But she talked to a few other groups who had tech writers and learned that generally, tech writers are very introverted and need quiet, and many of us work better in isolation. So when I applied, I had indicated on my app that I would prefer a full-time telecommute, and she approved that request with no discussion. So in that case at least, she very much did take my needs and work preferences into account.

[bilgistic]

Yeah, nobody cares in my company what you need unless you want a standing desk! Fuck off if you need quiet, but you can stand...or sit! Look how progressive they are!

[DeLurker]

I know I can get to the meeting, which is pretty critical. It's getting back that will be an issue. Is it wrong that I'm secretly hoping to spend a day or more holed up in a hotel, at company expense, watching trash tv and eating take out?

So...did you get to camp out at a hotel on the company dime?

[Quof]

Nope.  Made it back to my office by noon, snow started at 2:30.   We got about 12 inches overnight, so we're closed until noon today while we shovel out. 

[Sandman87]

Yeah, nobody cares in my company what you need unless you want a standing desk! Fuck off if you need quiet, but you can stand...or sit! Look how progressive they are!

I started carrying foam earplugs with me everywhere back in college for exactly that reason; inconsiderate jerks.

[Bastet]

You guys may have already seen this Conference Call in Real Life video.

 

That was funny.  I like when the one guy suddenly disappears and is standing outside talking to the wall.  And the part about, "I've prepared a presentation that you should all be able to see on your screens" -- one person says "yes" as she opens Solitaire, one gets a message that he has to install a plug-in, and one doesn't even know if he's on a Mac or PC.  And then, of course, "You'll write up a recap email, which could have taken the place of this entire meeting?"  "Yep, always do."

[Petunia13]

My boss has made me miserable. She is a very unhappy person who nit picks everything and even the most minor thing becomes a crisis. I have posted that on Christmas Eve I let an owner pat the head of a skittish dog when I cut its nails. Her response. On Christmas to us was "I could fire you right now!"

A dog she had previously groomed had no notes about it. I did him, he was dryer aggressive, and he bit me. Bad on my chest. No asking if I'm ok just complaints that I should have known he was aggressive. And said thank god she wasn't there and bit herself. I might add i wasn't offered medical assistance and when I went to the ER myself, she took 2 days to even report it to the company insurance since I kept calling. The pharmacy simply gave me my antibiotics and pain meds without charge since they didn't handle it and they didn't want me to wait over a day for something critical.

She has me do work for her groom dogs each day at no pay for me and then complains I'm not enthusiastic enough doing it. She comes in on her time off when I'm working to watch me, complain, or take my groom dogs that were my appointments, since "they know me" or "you seemed busy" And assigns all the salon cleaning to me. Then will white glove it.

And every day it's a talk or a meetings about if I smile enough. If I missed a spot. If when I made an appointment for her it was the perfect dog for the perfect time and if they're late or rude it was my fault for not screening them enough. And she could fire me at anytime, she reminds me. It's been a problem for a while that I let her get to me. But dealing with daily crisis and anger is difficult. Some of this i know for a fact is manufactured. Such as the blame if her customers are late or early or my customer somehow requests suddenly preferring her to do them (when im not in the room or they're not there anymore) or a pen being out of place. I had a panic attack the other day just because I am tired of the issues and stress and fact that she doesn't pull her weight, I'm basically her servant and still get berated. I appreciate working hard. It's working hard and still no matter what being told I'm shitty and accused of crap that is rattling my nerves. I could say maybe once or twice she said something that wasn't critical and that was in a very insincere way and back handed in front of others.

[backformore]

Sorry that's happening, Petunia.   It's the worst when you have a boss who will only give you negative feedback, and never express appreciation. 

[bilgistic]

If she isn't paying you for work you are doing, that's a case for the EEOC.

[Petunia13]

This boss was horrible. One of the worst I ever had. I start a new job soon.

No job is worth going through harassment or abuse. It affected me so much and I honestly feel for you bilgistic when you mentioned situations where your boss was trying manipulate you or control you, since I understand a bit how stressful it is facing it daily. It's like being bullied or used for some power game.

[hoosier80]

Another 'fantastic' week at work so far.  Switching systems, moving offices, and idiots at play.  I won't say work, not sure how to describe this shit.  I get an email to look at an issue - another group apparently dumping shit off to us.  Yeah, it's urgent - from spring 2015.  I did have a good laugh when I saw the dates (which wasn't mentioned at all, no mention of who reported the issue, nothing).  Then I had to explain again, how to do a process.  I had to remind the person it was due, did you check it?  Oh, I had that written somewhere to check..........then emails.  Can you look at this, why is this an exception?  It's not.  Big as life, it was included on the original and the review.  Systems are a total cluster, one due to launch this weekend, already postponed.  I thought that meant I'd have this weekend free, but no.  Being told to come in on Saturday and Sunday to check out shit that has been in the works for well over a year, close to 18 months.  I've been elsewhere where everything was changed, but we had to test NOTHING.  It was seamless.  Then the new offices, parking lot is a mess, I slipped several times walking in from the lot, no building security either.  The furnishings are very, very cheap.  The former office is old and dirty, so I guess we get new and cheap - being touted as such an improvement.  Oh and the other fabulous decree - no real vacations until late July or August.  Maybe you can take a day here or there.  Just waiting to see how many find other work before this is all done.  I know I'm starting to stress out big time.

[Petunia13]

I was good at grooming. Many managers in that field are given the role when they shouldn't be or they aren't qualified. But I am glad to leave and agree that I need to forget.

[bilgistic]

People are promoted to the level of their incompetence. It's a theory called the Peter Principle. Then there's the thing where people are put in charge of others but have no managerial skills or training, and that's every boss, ever.

[backformore]

congrats, Petunia!!

 

possible new job opportunity on the horizon for me -  keep your fingers crossed!

[zxy556575]

That brings up a work annoyance. I HATE working in cubes. It's loud as hell and the jackasses in my office just talk over each other on their respective phone calls.

 

I work remotely, but my company just remodeled* their headquarters down to the studs (a project that took 6 weeks and involved renting hotel conference rooms for staff) in order to get rid of cubicles. In favor of quieter private offices, you ask? Not at all! Now everyone works at long shared tables with no partitions. Open work space! So creative! We're like Google! Millennials just want to have fun! People get one drawer and very little elbow room. Clients on the phone with their sales rep can hear everyone else talking in the background. Constant hubbub. I can't even imagine how much it cost. The president somehow ended up with a corner office that's twice the size of his former space.

 

Not to be all "Feel the Bern" or anything, but the company hired a new president 2 years ago. He's a former Army general and really believes in rewarding the top. Annual bonuses used to be capped at $5K for everyone in the company. Under this new guy, bonuses are much higher for management than for front-line staff. As a supervisor, my bonus was $8000 while the people who work under me averaged $1250, which to add insult to injury, is about a third of what support staff used to get. I was furious! They work just as hard and, frankly, have to do a lot of the crappy tasks that other people don't want to. I can only imagine what the president gave himself and his executive staff.

 

 

 

* Can't even imagine what it cost, yet raises were less than half their normal amounts this year because of "company performance." Were sales and profits down? Nope.

Edited February 12, 2016 by lordonia

[jenh526]

That brings up a work annoyance. I HATE working in cubes. It's loud as hell and the jackasses in my office just talk over each other on their respective phone calls. I am very introverted, have anxiety and have a sensitivity to too much noise and lights. 

 

Just chiming in to say "me too". I had a happy cubicle at one point, right next to the storage area, on the edge of the room. Then some brilliant person decided to make the storage area into the kitchen. Cue slamming refrigerator doors, burning toast, loud people at the water cooler or getting coffee. Of course, why would I ever think they could let me be happy in my little corner? I picked up and moved to the other end of the room, which got me called into the manager's office. I explained that I'm sensitive to noise. After sarcastically referring to my "sensitivities" I did manage to get a different cubicle. So, yay me?

[jenh526]

People are promoted to the level of their incompetence. It's a theory called the Peter Principle. Then there's the thing where people are put in charge of others but have no managerial skills or training, and that's every boss, ever.

 

I've had 3 very good managers. They all came from the rank and file and hadn't forgotten what that was like. Most of all, they respected my abilities and didn't treat me like a small child. All the others, though, can take a flying leap.

[Bastet]

In my previous career, when I got my first promotion that involved getting my own office, I was more excited about having that door to shut than I was about the title or the money.  I hated being out in the open (I started out as an assistant, and basically had a desk outside my boss' office).  And I worked in a small department with people I liked (we're all still friends 20-some years later).  I think I'd have hated a cubicle even more - at least I could look out the window, which is why I love in Office Space when he gets rid of the front wall of his cubicle so he can actually see something - but anything other than my own four walls (actual walls, that go all the way to the ceiling) and that blessed door is just blech.

[bilgistic]

The broker I work for and I sit across an aisle from one another, and when we face our computers, our backs are turned to each other. He has said to me a number of times, "I saw what you were working on and it wasn't what I needed you to focus on that day," which drives me up a tree. First, stop looking over my shoulder! Second, if I'm not working on what you want, TELL ME instead of passive-aggressively simpering about it to my middle manager in a meeting later. I get bitched at for "not paying attention" when I do ask what I need to focus upon, so I can't win.

My coworker, the third person on our team, left today for a 12-day European vacation. MUST. BE. NICE.

[BookWoman56]

All this talk of bad managers, bad project planning, and impossible expectations has reminded me of the short video The Expert, which is simultaneously hysterically funny and terrifying as all too representative of real-world project meetings. I'd like to say that their parody is OTT, but it's not that far from reality.

[MargeGunderson]

All this talk of bad managers, bad project planning, and impossible expectations has reminded me of the short video The Expert, which is simultaneously hysterically funny and terrifying as all too representative of real-world project meetings. I'd like to say that their parody is OTT, but it's not that far from reality.

I feel like I'm experiencing that currently! There has been some change in my organization lately and now some things are coming to me for guidance that are not even close to my expertise. Worse, they are coming to me from the people who I would normally turn to about such things! They have decided they aren't doing that work now, but it's not like I know how to do it. Of course I can't tell anyone that I don't know how to do it; instead I get spend part of my weekend figuring it out.

[Maharincess]

"If the dog was startled or upset it could have bitten its owner then the owner would sue us then we'd all be fired and penniless blah blah"

Basically a missing pen or empty Kleenex box is a panic inducing around her.

That is ridiculous. A lot of dogs are scared and skittish at the groomers. And a person can't sue if their own dog bites them.

I've worked on many scared, skittish dogs when I was still working and I've never heard that in my life.

[DeLurker]

The broker I work for and I sit across an aisle from one another, and when we face our computers, our backs are turned to each other. He has said to me a number of times, "I saw what you were working on and it wasn't what I needed you to focus on that day," which drives me up a tree. First, stop looking over my shoulder! Second, if I'm not working on what you want, TELL ME instead of passive-aggressively simpering about it to my middle manager in a meeting later. I get bitched at for "not paying attention" when I do ask what I need to focus upon, so I can't win.

My coworker, the third person on our team, left today for a 12-day European vacation. MUST. BE. NICE.

I'd have to write a smart ass screensaver - like If You Can Read This You Are Not Doing Your Own Work or Turn Around Nosey!.

 

I would simply blatantly start taking notes when you are assigned task and ask very specific questions like "So do you want Project Xs assignments to be prioritized over Project As that I am waiting for more data on?".  Preferably in public since he pulls that shit in meetings on you.  Or send him a quick email to recap and give a bullet point status on each so you are creating a document trail for yourself.

 

And know that we are collectively calling him an ass.

[bilgistic]

Oh, I do take notes on the computer (like, putting due dates and tasks in Outlook, while also updating our deal sheet) in our weekly team meetings, but then I'm "not engaged". Seriously, the ego on this jackass. Somehow I'm supposed to sit there staring at him doe-eyed while remembering everything I have to do and simultaneously logging it all.

[potatoradio]

 

 

 

Now everyone works at long shared tables with no partitions. Open work space! So creative! We're like Google! Millennials just want to have fun! People get one drawer and very little elbow room. Clients on the phone with their sales rep can hear everyone else talking in the background. Constant hubbub. I can't even imagine how much it cost. The president somehow ended up with a corner office that's twice the size of his former space.

 

Oh.my.God.

 

I have heard of these circles of hell.  Collaboration, my arse.

 

Are there communal bathroom breaks, too? Synchronized lunches? All together now, lift the pizza and chew three times. Everyone doing OK? Great! Now take a sip of Coke. Yes, Coke. One sip of your allotted sugar, comrade, and then you may have a Frito but not before everyone has one in their hand. OK, all, time for your afternoon bowel movement! We can't move without everyone on board!

 

Excuse me while I go kiss my office door like a mad religious convert.

[bilgistic]

I already want to slit my wrists over working in a cube farm. If I had to work at a communal desk, the men in white coats would be dispatched immediately.