Worst Idea Ever: Previously "Movies Edition"

[Kromm]

What projects, confirmed OR rumored, just seem like real bad ideas?

 

I'll start.

 

Disney is developing a live-action Aladdin prequel about Genies

P.S. - Actually to expand this topic we can also talk about other disastrous sounding movie decisions, for example casting, too.

[Danny Franks]

This is an old, bad idea: "Universal are developing a live action movie based on the popular board game, Battleship". And what do you know, that did turn out to be a bad idea.

 

And following on tangentially from that, Disney's complete bungling of the John Carter publicity campaign (including the decision to just call it 'John Carter' as though it's some indie drama about a guy going through an early midlife crisis) turned what could have been a decent sized hit into a huge bomb. It's not even a bad movie. Not good, not award-winning, but a serviceable action movie that was better made than most of what Michael Bay churns out.

 

Also, that live action genie movie sounds terrible. 

 

This is a new one that sounds pretty stupid:

 

MONOPOLY

The story centers on a boy from Baltic Avenue who uses both Chance and Community in a quest to make his fortune, taking him on an adventure-filled journey. It's about making your own luck, what makes you truly rich and avoiding jail time.

 

And that Man on Wire movie sounds completely pointless because there's already a really good documentary about it, so why make a fictionalised version?

Edited July 16, 2015 by Danny Franks

[Eegah]

The writer of the Amazing Spider-Man movies has revealed that the third film would have featured Peter discovering how to revive the dead, and had Captain Stacy brought back to life. I'm actually kind of bummed it won't be happening, just to see him demand why he was brought back and not his daughter.

[Danny Franks]

The writer of the Amazing Spider-Man movies has revealed that the third film would have featured Peter discovering how to revive the dead, and had Captain Stacy brought back to life. I'm actually kind of bummed it won't be happening, just to see him demand why he was brought back and not his daughter.

 

I figured that was just them wanting to bring Gwen back too, because they belatedly realised that being slaves to a 40 year old comic book story was really fucking stupid, and killing the best character in the movie was not a good idea, no matter how it was written in the 1970s. It always smacked of a lack of thought and a mistaken obligation to 'honour' a redundant aspect of comic book Peter Parker's life.

[Kromm]

On paper that Monopoly idea sounds as bad as Battleship The Movie.

That said, if I had to make it, I think it could be done. You have to present a version where it's magically driven, like Jumanji or the upcoming Goosebumps movie, and it's someone living out the Monopoly game in real life (knowingly so--not it just being some kind of parallel).

 

Doing the thing "straight", the way that pitch above makes it sound?  Nightmarishly dumb.  You either plant your tongue firmly in your cheek or you don't do it at all.

[Rick Kitchen]

Lego Batman, anybody?  Oh, who am I kidding, that's probably going to be .. wait for it ... awesome.

 

(Shouldn't this thread be in the other folder?)

[ParadoxLost]

This comes from seeing Mamma Mia the movie for the first time in my life this weekend.  But who thought it was a good idea to make Ricki and the Flash?

[Kromm]

And now for a version we'll call "Good Idea, Bad Idea".

 

Take two films that have a somewhat similar idea/premise behind them, but one was executed well and the other just looks horrible...

 

For example, here are two projects where the details seem to be very different, but the basic idea of "video games intersecting real life" is similar.  The first is something where it came out, and it was pretty darn good.  The second (upcoming) movie seems to take the same "video games intersecting real life" idea and build it into a steaming pile of shit.

 

Gooooooood....

 

 

 

Baaaaaaaad.....

 

[OakGoblinFly]

Peter Dinklage supporting a mullet makes me giggle; but yeah, Pixels does look stupid.

[Bruinsfan]

I may catch it on Redbox in a few months so I can fast forward to Dinklage's scenes, but casting Adam Sandler AND Josh Gad as obnoxious man-children is a surefire way to keep me out of the theater.

[Spartan Girl]

Casting Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor: REAL BAD IDEA.

[magicdog]

killing [Gwen Stacey] the best character in the movie was not a good idea, no matter how it was written in the 1970s. It always smacked of a lack of thought and a mistaken obligation to 'honour' a redundant aspect of comic book Peter Parker's life.

 

This can be tough when it comes to comic adaptations - certain things you expect to see (Clark meets Lois Lane and works at the Daily Planet, Bruce Wayne loses his parents, Peter Parker's main squeeze was Mary Jane Watson but had other girlfriends before and after meeting her) so it can be tough picking and choosing what part of the mythos to keep and which to change or update.  I thought it was great they used Gwen for the second round of Spiderman films since she did exist before MJ did.  I had a hunch

they'd kill her off but I agree she didn't have to die

 - what's another alt-universe right?

 

Worst idea ever?  How about remaking old TV shows for the big screen?  With the exception of S.W.A.T. and Get Smart, the majority of them were mondo bombs in every way!  Poorly cast, horrible storylines, and uninspired cameos from original cast members (with the exception of the Lost In Space debacle - They had everyone except Billy Mumy & Jonathan Harris).  Which brings me to this:

 

2nd Worst idea ever:  Casting the majority of the surviving original cast members of Lost In Space only to NOT cast Billy Mumy as the older Will Robinson in a sequence set in the future!! 

[proserpina65]

Casting Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer as Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin in the absolutely unnecessary film version of The Man From U.N.C.L.E.; no, just no.

[Princess Sparkle]

Worst idea ever?  How about remaking old TV shows for the big screen?  With the exception of S.W.A.T. and Get Smart, the majority of them were mondo bombs in every way!  Poorly cast, horrible storylines, and uninspired cameos from original cast members (with the exception of the Lost In Space debacle - They had everyone except Billy Mumy & Jonathan Harris).  Which brings me to this:

The only two tv remakes  I think that were  really handled successfully were the two Brady Bunch movies and 21 Jump Street.  I think that's because in both cases, they didn't try and do a straight remake - The Brady Bunch movies poked fun at the silliness of having the Bradys in the mid-1990s, and 21 Jump Street is basically a buddy cop movie with some nods to the original.  

 

But you're right, every other remake is really, really bad.  I'm curious to see how The Man from UNCLE does, because I really doubt anyone was clamoring for a remake of that to be put on film. 

[cpcathy]

I bet there are tons of young (or not so young) writers out there who would come up with original stuff and not have to resort to a remake. That said, 22 Jump Street is ridiculously funny, so I was okay with it.

[Rick Kitchen]

Apparently, from the reviews, Pixels epitomizes this thread.

[Kromm]

Apparently, from the reviews, Pixels epitomizes this thread.

Adam Sandler movies were always stupid, but really it seems like at some point he totally gave up on even pretending they aren't.  Pixels just looks like an insult to viewers.  I'm curious to see the kind of numbers it does this weekend--and more importantly the FOLLOWING week.  After maybe an initial wave of Sandler superfans, and maybe a few super-nostalgic classic gamers, I'd bet it does next to nothing.  It might help it a bit I suppose that pretty much NOTHING else is opening this weekend.  That Jake Gyllenhaal boxing film, some art films, and a few minor other films, are about it. 

Vacation is opening next week, and as stupid as that probably is going to be, will slaughter everything else.  Even if it's stupid in execution, Vacation does NOT embody this topic, because it will make money.

[Rick Kitchen]

Paper Towns comes out this weekend.

[methodwriter85]

    Splitting Allegiant into two movies. Oh, my god. The fact that domestic box office for the Divergent sequel dropped ten to fifteen percent yet they're still charging ahead with two more movies is just idiotic.

[millennium]

This can be tough when it comes to comic adaptations - certain things you expect to see (Clark meets Lois Lane and works at the Daily Planet, Bruce Wayne loses his parents, Peter Parker's main squeeze was Mary Jane Watson but had other girlfriends before and after meeting her) so it can be tough picking and choosing what part of the mythos to keep and which to change or update.  I thought it was great they used Gwen for the second round of Spiderman films since she did exist before MJ did.  I had a hunch

they'd kill her off but I agree she didn't have to die

 - what's another alt-universe right?

 

Worst idea ever?  How about remaking old TV shows for the big screen?  With the exception of S.W.A.T. and Get Smart, the majority of them were mondo bombs in every way!  Poorly cast, horrible storylines, and uninspired cameos from original cast members (with the exception of the Lost In Space debacle - They had everyone except Billy Mumy & Jonathan Harris).  Which brings me to this:

 

2nd Worst idea ever:  Casting the majority of the surviving original cast members of Lost In Space only to NOT cast Billy Mumy as the older Will Robinson in a sequence set in the future!! 

 

I wouldn't wish the Lost In Space treatment on my worst enemy.

 

What a fustercluck that was.   William Hurt?   The original John Robinson was cerebral, sure, but he also kicked ass in fights and was the stern yet loving kind of father every kid needs to grow up right.  And Gary Oldman ...  that was during the era when I believe movie studios were compelled to abide by a secret international trade treaty with Great Britain which mandated that Gary Oldman be cast in precisely three out of every four new films made in a calendar year.    I doubt I'm alone in thinking Gary Oldman is overhyped and overrated.    Oh, and Major Don Tribbiani ... wasn't there anyone in charge on this film who could have foreseen the imminent disaster?   And space spiders ... arggggghhhhh ... 

[Bruinsfan]

Casting Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer as Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin in the absolutely unnecessary film version of The Man From U.N.C.L.E.; no, just no.

It's been years since I saw one of the old reruns, but I'm pretty sure David McCallum's Illya Kuryakin wasn't a humorless belligerent thug, which is how trailers would lead me to believe Armie Hammer is playing the role. Few complaints about Henry Cavill in a suit being suave and making quips though, even if the American accent he has to put on drops the performance a step down from perfect fantasy material.

[proserpina65]

It's been years since I saw one of the old reruns, but I'm pretty sure David McCallum's Illya Kuryakin wasn't a humorless belligerent thug, which is how trailers would lead me to believe Armie Hammer is playing the role.

 

God, no.  Illya was all suave, sophisticated Russian charm with an edge of danger.

[Shannon L.]

There is a new kids movie coming out.  I forget the name, but it's about a young, weak, rooster who needs to help save their farm, so he tries to take up boxing or wrestling.  The movie itself looks bad, but it appears that it is all in subtitles because they are all Spanish.  Subtitles....for a kids movie....they're alienating a lot of kids who can't read yet, or can't read too fast.  I don't see it doing very well in the box office. 

[methodwriter85]

"Hey, let's take a beloved Gen X cartoon about a cool music executive who has an alter ego and a cool band with an aesthetic that little girls who've been around the Lady Gaga/Katy Perry era would love, and turn it into a humorless live-action drama about a mopey teenager who is forced to change herself by the music industry."

 

Like seriously, what the fuck where they thinking? And I'm not even someone who's a big fan of Jem, but a correctly-done adaption actually would have appealed to a lot of people- Gen Xers tend to have little kids right now, and 10-year old girls like bright, crazy colors, crazy fashion as seen by Lady Gaga/Katy Perry, and the thought of a cool woman who leads a cool life. I have no clue what they thought they were appealing to.

[magicdog]

"Hey, let's take a beloved Gen X cartoon about a cool music executive who has an alter ego and a cool band with an aesthetic that little girls who've been around the Lady Gaga/Katy Perry era would love, and turn it into a humorless live-action drama about a mopey teenager who is forced to change herself by the music industry."

 

Like seriously, what the fuck where they thinking?

 

ITA.  It's not as if Christy Marx wasn't willing to contribute towards a live action Jem movie.  Methinks some Hollywood politics was afoot.  It'll bite them in the butt when the movie gets released to empty theatres.  I've written my opinion on the comments section on YT where the trailer has been playing.  It's a travesty!

[methodwriter85]

I'm not opposed to the idea that they made Jersey Boys a movie- I even liked it- but did they seriously think an R-rated Frankie Valli movie was going to appeal to the public at large who don't go to theater? I get that Jersey Boys was a hit on Broadway, but the Four Seasons had their revival twenty years ago, and most of that generation is starting to die off.

 

I don't even get why they needed this to be R-rated. It seemed primarily about the language- I don't even think they were that explicit in the scenes with the prostitutes. I also think that when you got away from the singing, the energy was just off, and I feel like they needed to try and trim down what was going on. It's sad because you could see what this could have been, in the credits where they all start dancing, but yeah, something about this just didn't work. I think it went for too serious a tone at all times- something just didn't "pop" about this.

 

I mean, I gotta give Clint Eastwood props for being willing to do a mid-budget (40 million) movie starring a bunch of unknowns instead of casting a pretty boy actor with a weak voice as the leads, but the execution could have been so much better. And I just find it annoying that the execution was off, because then that makes Hollywood give the easy excuse of blaming the movie's failure on the lack of stars.

 

Finally,,,can we all admit now that doing a movie about a woman who invents a mop was totally a bad idea? I don't care that Jennifer Lawrence got an Oscar nom out of it- David O. Russell's career took a hit because of this movie.

[Kromm]

In line with the idea expressed upthread that Game Adaptations inevitably make shit movies (although as I said, a FICTIONAL game, Jumanji, kind of worked), apparently the next Questionable Idea is Angry Birds The Movie (due later this year). 

 

What's sad is that two people who were also involved in the nightmarish Pixels movie are ALSO in this (Josh Gad and Peter Dinklage). 

 

It could be worse. It could be a live action adaptation rather than a CGI cartoon.  I mean at least an animated movie makes sense for the concept--even if Angry Birds was hardly calling out for a movie version.

 

That said, while Angry Birds The Movie is likely a questionable idea, it's a piker, a mere nothing in terms of Bad-Ideadom compared to... brace for this... I promise... you need to prepare yourself...

 

Emoji The Movie.

 

I am not shitting you.

 

http://time.com/3967098/emoji-movie-sony-pictures-animation/

 

It's enough to make you want to scream at the sky that our civilization is done for.

[methodwriter85]

Channing Tatum as a mermaid.

[Rick Kitchen]

57 minutes ago, methodwriter85 said:

Channing Tatum as a mermaid.

It works for Jason Momoa.  :)

[methodwriter85]

1 hour ago, Rick Kitchen said:

It works for Jason Momoa.  :)

Yeah, but Splash was a dumb, silly movie from the 80's, not an action comic book adaption.

Then again, Channing COULD make this funny. I think he has pretty good comedic timing.

[cpcathy]

I think Channing Tatum has GREAT comic timing and I think this looks to be funny, if done properly. Don't know why we need a redo, but if we do, casting so far looks good.

[meep.meep]

I remember Siskel and Ebert reviewing the original and being completely bummed that the mermaid wasn't in love with John Candy.  That would have made a fantastic movie vs. the OK one that got produced.  (and yes, I am older than dirt - get off my lawn!)

Tatum as a mermaid has real potential.

[methodwriter85]

Normally I'd be fine with the thought of musical remake of Valley Girl (and let's be honest, this isn't some Oscar caliber film), but Marti Noxon is awful, and the plot changes they seem to have added (making Randy's friend a punk lesbian, adding in a Mean Girl character) just seem really unnecessary. I'm guessing Stacey is now going to be a closeted lesbian who isn't so bad after all? I do love that Loryn is now black. Martha Coolidge said in the DVD commentary that she always wanted one of the main Valley Girls to be black, but

Mae Whitman signing up for this does make me think it won't be that bad. She tends to have good taste with projects so she must be seeing something good with this.

They haven't said yet if this is set in the 80's or modern times. Other than the fashion, the music, and lack of cellphone, there isn't really anything about the movie that can't work in modern. Well, of course, Julie's parents can't be hippies from the 1960's if it's 2017 in the movie.

Edited May 9, 2017 by methodwriter85

[Spartan Girl]

We're officially getting a Top Gun 2, after 30 years and Tom Cruise not being as hot as he used to be.

Bad idea.

[Browncoat]

3 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

We're officially getting a Top Gun 2, after 30 years and Tom Cruise not being as hot as he used to be.

Bad idea.

Very very bad idea.

[Lugal]

Classic Edition: John Wayne as Genghis Khan.

And also: Shooting near a nuclear test site and trucking in radioactive dirt from said test site to the studio so that a significant percentage of your cast and crew dies from cancer.

[DisneyBoy]

When did that happen?

I don't think I'll ever get over the fact that the makeup crew on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was allowed to cover the Tin Man in what ended up being life threatening silver makeup. Isn't that the kind of thing you test first before you bring it to set and risk an actor's life?

Of course this is also the same production that thought it was a good idea to drop Margaret Hamilton through a trapdoor while flames shot up in front of her. Poor woman.

[Lugal]

10 hours ago, DisneyBoy said:

When did that happen?

The Conqueror in 1956 starred John Wayne as Genghis Khan.  They shot in Utah was was about a hundred miles downwind from the nuclear test sites, where all the fallout had landed.  Howard Hughes (who backed the film) paid to have the dirt trucked into the studio to match the location shots.  As of 1981, 91 of the 220 cast and crew had developed some form of cancer and 46 died, including John Wayne, Agnes Moorhead, Susan Hayward, Pedro Armendariz, John Hoyt, Lee Van Cleef, and director Dick Powell.

[DisneyBoy]

Wow. Idiot!!

[NumberCruncher]

Well, you can't really blame that decision on Hollywood so much as a less-than-honest U.S. Government.  It's unfortunate that the actors and crew of The Conqueror suffered such a ill fate, but even more tragically, the communities continue to suffer the ill health effects of that nuclear testing:  https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/jun/06/downwinders-nuclear-fallout-hollywood-john-wayne

The government literally poisoned thousands of its own citizens.  :(  Someone should make a movie about that.

Edited June 2, 2017 by NumberCruncher

[Blergh]

On 6/2/2017 at 1:40 PM, NumberCruncher said:

Well, you can't really blame that decision on Hollywood so much as a less-than-honest U.S. Government.  It's unfortunate that the actors and crew of The Conqueror suffered such a ill fate, but even more tragically, the communities continue to suffer the ill health effects of that nuclear testing:  https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/jun/06/downwinders-nuclear-fallout-hollywood-john-wayne

The government literally poisoned thousands of its own citizens.  :(  Someone should make a movie about that.

No, the movie folks DID know that they were working with radioactive material. There are pics of John Wayne with his visiting teen sons laughing as they posed with Geiger counters (and yes, not only did Mr. Wayne but his also his sons wound up developing cancer). 

[methodwriter85]

When I heard about the plot for Jumanji 2, I thought it sounded absolutely awful but damn if it didn't work out great.