Small Talk: The Possum Posse

[JudyObscure]

I used to think that people who ordered lots of stuff online, or off QVC, wanted the thrill of having the UPS truck pull up outside and give them a big box of goodies to open -- like Christmas in July.  But I'm learning that for many people, like Astra and my brother -- whose dining room table is covered in unopened boxes -- the thrill is the ordering, not in the opening and the having.

 

My parents were like Mrsjumbo's and funky-rat's.  They were very clean and every last thing was organized but boy did they have stuff.  They had their  last house built with two kitchens.  Yes, it was way out in the woods of West Virginia and my mom did lots of canning in the lower level kitchen which was off the big family room, with the formal kitchen upstairs off the formal living room and dining room.  One of the three bedrooms was a "sewing room, " with floor to ceiling shelves and drawers for all my mother's quilting and sewing paraphernalia.  Downstairs was my father's huge art studio with all the ten-thousand little brushes, paints, frames canvasses, easels, and a jigsaw -- you never know when you'll need a jigsaw.  Behind that gigantic room was  the laundry room and then a  "storage room," the size of my living room with shelves for tools, canned goods, a freezer, decorating stuff, papier-mache statues to scare the bejeebers out of you.

 

The two kitchen drove me nuts.  we would go there for holiday meals and I was forever running downstairs for something that was in the other refrigerator or the rolls burning in the other oven.   I think they loved the abundance though.  After my mother had been gone a few years the loneliness got to my father and he wanted to move to a smaller place closer to civilization but he didn't want to part with a thing.

 

I wouldn't mind seeing some of these type  hoarders just for the sake of snooping through their stuff.

[Mrsjumbo]

My grandparent's house was typical for their area. You had to go up a bunch of stairs to get in the main entrance. There was a living room, dining room, kitchen, 2 bedrooms & a bath. Off the kitchen there were stairs outside that took you to the lower level, which had another kitchen, living room, bathroom, laundry room & bedroom.

My other grandma had the same set up, plus another lower level!

Even with all of that room both sets of grandparents houses were very neat & uncluttered.

[Mrsjumbo]

I'm proud of myself. My mom's club has a twice yearly consignment sale. Not only did I put a room full of stuff out for the sale, we have a "members only" night where we can shop it before we open it to the public. It's a hoarders paradise- lots of knick knacks at rock bottom prices. I only picked up 2 clothing items for my ds3. I had a small stack of books but looked through them before checkout & put them all back. Just bought 1 novel & 1 cookbook for myself.

[funky-rat]

I've given up on books.  So many I have bought, and then never looked at ever again.  I did a big purge when we moved.

[Mojeaux]

I've given up on books.  So many I have bought, and then never looked at ever again.  I did a big purge when we moved.

This is what ebooks are for.

[Mrsjumbo]

Something about reading on a tablet or phone gives me eyestrain. I can only read off of my phone for a few minutes at a time

[auntjess]

A hoarder-related item from Bark Post.http://barkpost.com/34-dogs-fire-hoarder/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=barkpostfb
 

[Mojeaux]

Something about reading on a tablet or phone gives me eyestrain. I can only read off of my phone for a few minutes at a time

Oh, hey I know what you mean, but! The Kindle Paperwhite (actually, any e-ink reader) is a godsend. Easier on the eyes than paper and it’s backlit IF you want to read at night. It’s not bright at all (if you don’t want it to be). My 13yo won’t read on her phone or tablet and she resents the weight of boks on her backpack and holding them in her hands. She LOVES my Kindle. However, I have demoted her to using the very old one because she’s a hoarder and she loses it in her hoard. (I didn’t mean for that to wrap around so on point, but there you go.)

[Mrsjumbo]

I made $850 at the consignment sale, woo hoo! And only brought back 3 bins of unsold items (the rest that didn't sell I donated). The bins will go back in our basement till the next sale.

I did like the show "Clean Sweep". It was cleaner hoards & they had a yard sale after sorting. For me it is easier to get rid of something if I know I'll get money for it. Though I suspect that show did a little creative messing- in EVERY show the beds were unmade & dresser drawers were open with clothes hanging out. You know some crew were going around tossing clothes & items on the floor.

Hoarders feels like the most real reality show there is. You can't fake dead flattened cats, maggoty food & thick cobwebs.

[RCharter]

^^ or poop in bags, and the bags are stacked up in the bathroom.  Poop in a bag seems like a very real hoarders moment.

[Mrsjumbo]

Or urine in jugs (gag).

[OSM Mom]

Or stacks of used feminine hygiene products all over. *gags along with Mrsjumbo*

[scootypuffjr]

I'm not sure the correct thread to put this in, but if you have a Kindle or an e-reader, there is a book called "Coming Clean: A Memoir" by Kimberly Rae Miller on sale for $2 at Amazon, written by the daughter of a hoarder father. I'm only a little ways in, but it is very interesting so far, and since it's on special for a limited time I thought I'd pop in here and tell y'all about it in case anybody else wanted to check it out. 

[funky-rat]

17 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

Nothing inspires me to keep my plumbing in clean, working order more than these people. 

Initially, I confused T'resa's son with Augustine's son (who was also pretty awesome). But this is yet another instance where I was yelling at the TV for the child of the hoarder to run far, far away from their toxic, evil parent who will never change. That adult children of assholes who still believe they need to work "on their relationship" with their abusers stuns me. At least Augustine's son washed his hands of her (though his sister seemed to be quite the consumer of ongoing punishment). 

It's hard to comprehend if you had a relatively normal upbringing.  I went through this for years with Mr. Funky and his abusive mother.  He'd go back to her time and again, and she'd mentally abuse him well in to his 30's.  We had a friend who reamed her a new one for it once.  It didn't work.  It was my friend, so that was just another reason to hate me.  I felt a million pounds of relief when she passed on, but it was extremely difficult for him.  So much unresolved stuff.  I try not to judge, but it's so hard......

[Guest]

2 hours ago, funky-rat said:

It's hard to comprehend if you had a relatively normal upbringing.

That's true -- but I didn't. I had horrible parents and the second I could get away from them, I did. And never, not once, did it cross my mind that I should "work on our relationship" when I became the adult. They had 18 years to establish a relationship with me -- and they certainly showed how they wanted it to be -- miserable, abusive, and toxic. So, no thanks! That these psychologists insist to these hoarder children they should "build relationships" with their abusers who chose literal filth over their kids is appalling. The healthiest choice, in my opinion, for these kids is to cut their losses and move on with their lives. 

[funky-rat]

4 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

That's true -- but I didn't. I had horrible parents and the second I could get away from them, I did. And never, not once, did it cross my mind that I should "work on our relationship" when I became the adult. They had 18 years to establish a relationship with me -- and they certainly showed how they wanted it to be -- miserable, abusive, and toxic. So, no thanks! That these psychologists insist to these hoarder children they should "build relationships" with their abusers who chose literal filth over their kids is appalling. The healthiest choice, in my opinion, for these kids is to cut their losses and move on with their lives. 

Therapists told my husband time and again to not have contact with her, and he'd do so for a while, and then something would happen - she'd get sick, or in an accident, etc, and he'd go right back.  We had an unlisted phone number the first 3 years we were married because of her.  She was in an accident, and used her lawyer to get our phone number.  To this day, I don't understand it.  I questioned it.  I argued with him about it.  I tried to stop it.  And in the end, I just gave up.  Toward the end, he was finally finding his voice with her.  She behaved poorly in a restaurant, and he apologized to a server because of her, and told his mom to "Stop.  You're making a fool of yourself and embarrassing everyone else."  It sounds hateful, but I don't miss her, or her nasty attitude, mind games, etc.  She stopped physically abusing him when he was about 17 and could easily overtake her, but the mental abuse never stopped.  And I still curse her name often, as he works through all of the scars she left him with.

[enoughcats]

Funky-rat and Giant Misfit (I'd buy you both a slice of cake of your choice, just for choosing those names),  When I got married after several years I started wondering where mental illness ends and true unrepentant evil begins.  I never came up with an answer, but I wonder if some mental illness is unresponsive to medicine/care/doctors/etc. because is isn't illness and there is no cure? 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, enoughcats said:

 I never came up with an answer, but I wonder if some mental illness is unresponsive to medicine/care/doctors/etc. because is isn't illness and there is no cure? 

It's conceivable that some people are just selfish dicks which, I don't think, is a medical condition but more a way of life. Medication and therapy won't make these people decent humans. 

[funky-rat]

Yup.  Late MIL was a perpetual victim so she would gain sympathy, and purported herself to be mother of the year to gain praise on top of sympathy, but many people told us they had no clue what went on behind closed doors in his house, and the ones that did know are the ones his mom cut out of her life because they challenged her on the abuse.  But she'd tell Mr. Funky and his brother that she cut them out because they were jerks, bad mouthing her, owed her money, etc.  I don't think all the medication in the world would have helped her.  She enjoyed the attention too much.  And she'd only go to psychiatrists who told her what she wanted to hear.  She'd switch the minute one would suggest she had a hand in her own misery.  When Mr. Funky was younger, the school mandated she take him to therapy because he was acting out.  She took him from place to place until she found a doctor willing to tell her everything that went on in the session.  Mr. Funky was honest and told the doctor she beat him, and he told his mother, and he got a beating when he got home, so he learned that when it came to therapy, just keep your mouth shut, and say what they want to hear.  It took a long time to break him of that habit.

[Mrsjumbo]

I rue the day when I will have to clean out my parents house. Talking to my mom in the phone the other day, I mentioned that I did a lot of shredding (at minimum I shred weekly before taking the garbage out). My mom says "oh I'm so behind on shredding, I have years of stuff to shred". I told her there are days when the bank will do it for you, you just drive there & give them your papers. 

But that would involve actual action on their part, so it won't get done. 

She mentioned she had papers from both of my grandmothers belongings, & they died in 1990!

[AZChristian]

2 hours ago, Mrsjumbo said:

She mentioned she had papers from both of my grandmothers belongings, & they died in 1990!

I feel your pain.  My almost-hoarder brother has canned goods that were in my mother's pantry.  Disposal date was 2005. 

[Mrsjumbo]

Yeah we learned to read the date on salad dressings before using.

[JudyObscure]

I've never shredded anything, I just pitch most mail straight into the trash.  All I've ever done is cut up unsolicited credit cards.  I know there's an identity theft risk, but just how much of a risk do you all think?

[Mrsjumbo]

I would say the risk is much higher of getting hacked online, but I still shred many things- bank statements with my account number & financial information, credit card offers (I get tons of these), papers with medical info from the dr, investment material with account number, magazine offers with my name on it, charity pleas with my name on it. 

I think the risk of someone dumpster diving is very low unless you are famous or a business or someone that has a private detective hired to find out about you. But it just takes a minute so I'd rather be safe than sorry. 

[AZChristian]

Our shredder sits right behind our shared desk.  We open all the mail while sitting right there.  Anything with our name on it goes straight into the shredder - no backup of documents allowed.  My OCD way of life requires handling things only once if at all possible.

[enoughcats]

Something I'm having trouble with is the declining value of things that (at one time) had real monetary value.

Friends over in North Carolina said something five or six years ago and it didn't make sense to us. " We don't use the good silverware when we have a dinner party because people make negative comments about it".  And then the comment that their children didn't want their silverware.   (I cherish mine because it was my Grandmother's and then my Mother's and we only use it for 'occasions')  I doubt the nieces want it.

Then my Sister in Law's roll top desk: her daughters and their families didn't want it when she died, so we've given it a place to live in hopes that one of her Grandchildren will want it.

I think what bothers me is that I have some nice things, and I wish someone out there would appreciate them when I don't, anymore.

There is that Victorian hat and umbrella rack, with the heart shaped mirror that I have because everybody else on that side of my family had turned it down....

Hoarders has made me think about things I could have avoided, but it's insights, sometimes delivered with a dose of reality .  

[enoughcats]

There have been comments that liken some of the Hoarders situations to "Grey Gardens".

To follow up on Grey Gardens, it was bought and restored and is now for sale for millions.

This article with lots of pictures may be of interest.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4205762/Famed-Hamptons-home-Grey-Gardens-sale-19-95-million.html

[JudyObscure]

Great find, Enoughcats, I loved the movie and the documentary.  The place looks great now but I find some of the decorating choices strange.  Day beds flank the living room fireplace instead of sofas.  Sofas in the center of the kitchen.  The article was odd, too, it must have mentioned the Onassis connection a dozen times.  Then the captions to the photos!  "The bathroom has  a tub, perfect for taking a bath," "The staircase leads to more of the house."  Fortunately it's only  $19.95 million because I could never afford $20 million. 

[notyrmomma]

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Great find, Enoughcats, I loved the movie and the documentary.  The place looks great now but I find some of the decorating choices strange.  Day beds flank the living room fireplace instead of sofas.  Sofas in the center of the kitchen.  The article was odd, too, it must have mentioned the Onassis connection a dozen times.  Then the captions to the photos!  "The bathroom has  a tub, perfect for taking a bath," "The staircase leads to more of the house."  Fortunately it's only  $19.95 million because I could never afford $20 million. 

Thank God they clarified what the tub was supposed to be used for.  I thought it was perfect for taking a ___.  What a bargain for $19.95 million!  Where's my check book?  

Yes, very oddly decorated.  Those kitchen couches will stink very soon if anyone actually does any sort of cooking in that kitchen.

[Guest]

On 2/10/2017 at 7:03 PM, JudyObscure said:

The article was odd, too, it must have mentioned the Onassis connection a dozen times.  Then the captions to the photos!  "The bathroom has  a tub, perfect for taking a bath," "The staircase leads to more of the house." 

Oh, that's because it was published by the Daily Mail who, by my estimation, only hires third-graders to write for that rag. In nearly every celebrity story, underneath whatever picture they publish, there's a caption describing what the person is wearing -- as if you couldn't see it for yourself ... in the picture. (That being said, they do have really good celeb photos I rarely see elsewhere and I am ashamed to read it from time to time, but I do.) 

I was only in one house in my life where the owners had sofas in the kitchen. They were super, ridiculously rich as well. I guess that's a thing? 

[Lorna Mae]

http://www.fox5ny.com/news/237339986-story "Firefighters had to dump thousands of items onto the street in battling a fire inside a hoarder's apartment on the Upper West Side." Check out the photo. It's like the building threw up. 

[auntjess]

I thought that was a video, but I've tried 2 browsers, and I can't get it to play.

And I saw episodes of Hoarders showing up on Lifetime (360 or thereabouts on U-verse).
Last year's eps, and starting at either 9AM or 10AM tomorrow, 2/23.
I didn't know if it usually showed up in other places, like the TLC shows.

[Lorna Mae]

http://wtov9.com/news/offbeat/hoarder-evicted-but-trash-remains-behind

The city of Circleville (Ohio) gave the owner of a home at least one extra day to remove trash and other items left on the sidewalk after a tenant was evicted Monday. The trash on S. Washington St. was stacked eight feet high and stretched in front of two other houses. [snip] The city said the tenant was evicted around 1:00 p.m. Monday. Neighbors said the process of clearing the home lasted until midnight. [snip] Next door neighbor Marvin Davis had just one question about the trash. "How could one person have that much stuff in there?" he asked.

What I'm not clear on is, who dragged it all out of the house? The evicted tenant, as a FU to the landlord, or the landlord, in hopes that the tenant would follow? With a lot of hoarders, I get the impression they would choose to die with their stuff. In fact, I think that's been said at least once on this or the other show. So it's mildly surprising that the former tenant is nowhere to be seen.

And according to the video, people are scavenging from the heap. Wouldn't it be something if one of them is a hoarder? Imagine a hoarder, hoarding stuff they scavenged from another hoarder's hoard! :D

[atlantaloves]

Oh honey, I know a hoarder who travels hundreds of miles for funerals of distant relatives just to get at their HOARD, she ships it back to herself....she found this 6.00 or 8.00 rate to ship 50 lbs of stuff...and it all goes back into her hoard. I swear to God....unreal. It's her new pass time, she's got tons of money and can afford to travel to increase her hoard. 

[Mrsjumbo]

If you watch the Simpsons in one episode Marge helps the Crazy Cat Lady clean out her hoard. As the dump truck is ready to pull away Marge finds all kinds of things to take home that shouldn't be thrown out (coffee stirrers! Paper clips!) and soon the Simpson home has a giant hoard. Homer brings the Crazy Cat Lady over to talk sense into Marge & she sees her stuff & rehoards it back.

[JudyObscure]

On ‎3‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 1:55 PM, Lorna Mae said:

Wouldn't it be something if one of them is a hoarder? Imagine a hoarder, hoarding stuff they scavenged from another hoarder's hoard! :D

 How much hoard would a hoarder hoard if a hoarder could hoard hoards?

[FrauBlucher]

I've been enjoying reading all your posts, especially those of you who are directly impacted by hoarders.

My Mother-in-law his a hoarder, although she denies it. She hoards "collectables" which she has told us we'll be able to sell and make lots of money off of after she dies. In reality, it's all thrift store and recent vintage items- like from the 1950's, 1960's- that you see in every antique store. She just loves the thrill of the "hunt"- once purchased they're usually packed away and never see the light of day again.

She's also a food hoarder. The refrigerator and pantry are stuffed full at all times. We learned early on to check expiration dates, even though she tells us "Those dates don't mean anything!"  She had a 5 foot mountain of soda 12-packs in her basement. She brought me a diet Pepsi one time, and one sip told me it was really really old. The date on it was a 5 years past. We had to explain to her that soda does not last forever, well diet soda anyway. It starts to taste like chemicals. To her credit, she's told us that she stopped buying soda for now, until she uses up what's in the basement. We told her not to drink it but she won't listen.

I used to dread having to deal with all of her belongings after she passes. She has a rambler-style house and several outbuildings full of stuff. But she made my husband's brother the executor of her estate, and he's butthead, so the main responsibility will be his. 

We also deal with a hoarder neighbor, much like funky-rat. We live in the country, on a bend in the road, with one neighbor to our right, and the other diagonally behind us. The neighbor behind us hoards stuff and animals. He's taken what was a cute little farmhouse and just completely trashed it, inside and out. At one time it seemed like he had 100 cats, which were constantly here in my yard killing birds and pooping and spraying everywhere. I'm not sure what happened but there seems to be less cats lately. My other neighbor has been in the house and says the entire house is one big litterbox. When the wind is blowing from the south, the smell is horrible. I have to shut my windows. It smells like animal waste and cat pee and something rotting. He also hoards dogs. He fancies himself a breeder, but in reality he just pens them altogether and lets them go at it. Once in a while the dogs would escape and packs of them would be running through our yard. These are unsocialized Huskies and quite large. I wouldn't let my kids out in the yard on those days. We've been around and around with the Sheriff and the county, but because of where we live being rural there are no laws on the books to address animal hoarding. The Sheriff's suggestion to me was that I could shoot an animal in my yard if I felt threatened by it. Well first off I don't own a gun. And while I would protect my children any way I could, I really don't relish the thought of killing someone's dog. The Sheriff supposedly inspected the place and found no animal neglect (though to this day I have no idea how they came to that conclusion), and the neighbor has fixed his fencing so the dogs have not gotten out in about two years now.

What really stinks in addition to what he's doing to those animals, is that his living this way negatively affects us. The smell, the noise, the visuals. Not to mention that we are pretty much stuck here now- if we ever needed to sell this house, who on earth would want to live near this guy?  Hoarding affects more than the people inside the house. All of the neighbors get to experience it too. Hoarders are the most selfish people on the planet.

[funky-rat]

I  think management had a chat with that neighbor.  He cleaned up eventually, and at least what we can see on the outside looks better, but I'm hedging no bets on his out building, or what the inside of his unit looks like, judging just by what I can see through the windows (while driving or walking by - I'm not a peeper, lol).  That's one thing I love about living where we do.  Management is really pro-active.  This summer should be interesting, to see if any of his messes return when the weather gets better.  I know he has 2 little dogs, and I hardly ever see them outside......

As for my evil late MIL, she left so much crap behind when she died.  She too was convinced a lot of her crap was valuable.  It was all modern collectibles.  A lot of Franklin Mint type stuff.   But she'd always stop paying the bills halfway through the run of whatever she was buying, so the sets were incomplete, but aside from that, stuff of that nature NEVER brings what you paid for it...ever.  Also had tons of NASCAR stuff (none of which is worth anything) and a huge collection of those animated stuffed animals that sang and danced.  Also worth nothing.  She had cases and cases of craft kits, still in the box.  She'd see something somewhere, and become convinced she could make it, and sell it at craft shows for tons of money. So she'd buy tons of this stuff, then open every single kit, then put them back in the case and never use them.  We couldn't even donate them because she opened every single kit but never did the work.  Not even nursing homes would take opened kits because we couldn't be sure they were complete.  I don't know what my now late step FIL ever did with them.  And he was no better.  He bought a nice double wide with the money left over after he buried her.  Was smart and bought it outright.  By the time I had last been in it (which was a good 6 months before he passed away) it was so disgusting that I had to leave and go back outside.  When we took him home that day from the hospital, we were told that he would be getting visiting nurses, so we hoped they would see his living conditions and put him in elder care.  Nope.  He told them that if they didn't like his place they could clean it, and they left it go.  Had one of them taken those steps to remove him, he may not have lived longer, but would have died in a nice clean care facility instead of his disgusting house, and wouldn't have laid for a good week or two before someone found him.  My brother in law was in the process of finding a no-kill cat rescue who would take his fourteen cats (yep) and then had planned on calling APS anonymously when he passed away.  He had threatened to put a bullet in his own head before he let someone take his cats from him.  At least my BIL had the cat issue already set up when step FIL passed.  That was one less thing to worry about.  In the end, homeowner's insurance declared the house a biohazard, and none of us were allowed in.  We only wanted photos, and anything that belonged to my husband's (biological) father, but we're pretty sure we got all of that right after his mom died.  Evil witch step SIL said she'd call us when she got the clear to go in the house so we could get what we wanted, but she never did, and I'm sure that was 100% on purpose.  She never called BIL either.  There was nothing there of value - just sentimental stuff, but she's nasty that way. She'd throw away anything she knew we wanted just for spite.  It's upsetting, but in the end, we're better off having no ties to her.

[AZChristian]

Thanks to all for sharing their stories.  It helps to know we're not the only ones dealing with this.

My brother is not a full-on hoarder, but he's definitely a packrat.  He was hospitalized in December with stroke-like symptoms, and we were concerned that he was no longer going to be able to live on his own.  I couldn't go into his place and clean because I have allergies, and the dust was making my throat close up.  He has NO sense of cooperation regarding getting rid of stuff to make his life more pleasant.

We got into a real argument one day because he had received a generic notice from his landlord (he lives in a community of about 50 senior apartments) about keeping the outside of the units tidy.  The notice specifically said, "Patios are not to be used as storage spaces."  I looked at the mess outside of his unit and said, "It sounds like you need to get this cleaned up."  His off-handed response was, "Oh, they send those out all the time to everybody.  It doesn't mean anything."

Well, last week, he got a letter in the mail with his specific unit number on the letter, reiterating the need to adhere to the landlord's rules about keeping things tidy.  His specifically had hand-written on it:  "CLEAN UP BACK PATIO."  And the notice said, "You have 10 days to comply, or you will be evicted."  I called the landlord to confirm what he COULD keep out there, and she agreed that he could keep the electric scooter and a coffin-sized plastic storage chest - and NOTHING ELSE.  She specifically said he could not keep his walkers out there.  "Just the scooter and the chest.  NOTHING ELSE."  So my saintly husband went over there to help him clear it off.  He put one walker in the trunk of his car, but after getting rid of everything or putting away what he wanted to keep, he said "Well, there's no room in the apartment for the other walker, so it will have to stay on the patio."  We explained to him that he didn't want to open a can of worms with his landlord as to why there isn't room in his apartment for one walker.  If they went inside, I'm pretty sure they'd give him 10 days to get rid of at least half of what's in there, or he'll be evicted.  So he put the other walker in his car, too.  He doesn't use it around the house, so that's a better option than leaving it on the patio.

I'm executor of his will.  Nothing in that place has any real value, so we're probably going to go in with a shovel and most of it will go in the dumpster.

[Kelly]

I can appreciate what other folks are going thru w family members that hoard. I have a sister that is a hoarder, and we are always waiting for the "phone call". She calls hysterically crying because shes getting evicted or whatever (always last minute, and you'll find out later she was given 30 days to clean up, and did...nothing).  Someone in the family drops everything and helps her out. I don't imagine she'll ever change. I view my sibling as selfish and spoiled. She wants what she wants. Thats it. My hoarder sister quit her job in NYC three years ago, and moved back to the city in the midwest where we grew up (where the rest of us live), or rather, WE moved her. Shes quite overweight too, so she sat like a princess and my husband and I, as well as my sons, helped pack her cat pee soaked belongings. :/

She lived initially with our 86 year old mother.  We knew all the promises to get a job were going to go unfulfilled (that would actually require APPLYING).  Our mother lives in a "60 and older" community - my sister could NOT stay there indefinitely (my mother didnt WANT to live with her).  We were worried her presence would jeapardize our mothers living situation (sister is 50). You can only pretend shes "visiting" for so long.  And she was hoarding in our mothers townhouse, it was getting bad.  After 6 months we forced her to move to her own place (meaning my siblings, and I found her an apt, took her to sign the papers, moved all her crap etc).  Our mother pays most of her bills. What happens when my mother can no longer do that? In talks w my other siblings...we're worried about it. Nobody wants her moving into their home. Nobody wants to pay her expenses.  Why should we! Seems harsh to tell her "good luck, youre on your own", but after decades of dealing w her, and her stuff and her lack of change...thats what we'd all like to do. ?

Edited April 4, 2017 by Kelly

[auntjess]

On ‎3‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 1:55 PM, Lorna Mae said:

What I'm not clear on is, who dragged it all out of the house? The evicted tenant, as a FU to the landlord, or the landlord, in hopes that the tenant would follow?

In evictions, I think the landlord usually puts all the tenant's belongs at the curb (or some places may mandate storing under certain circumstances), and it's up to the tenant to remove their things.
If they don't,  not sure who the city would bill for removing them.

 

24 minutes ago, Kelly said:

Nobody wants her moving into their home. Seems harsh to tell her "good luck, youre on your own", but after decades of dealing w her, and her stuff and her lack of change...thats what we'd all like to do. ?

Rent a van, take her to Houston, and call Dr. Nowzardan.  (My 600 lb Life.)

[Kelly]

11 minutes ago, auntjess said:

Rent a van, take her to Houston, and call Dr. Nowzardan.  (My 600 lb Life.)

Would love to...although actually dont really want to spend any more of our $ on her.  LOL. Shes prob about 300lbs-ish...not ready for Dr Now (yet?).  If she did go see Dr Now, she'd fail at losing the requisite 50lbs to be approved for surgery. If she was approved, she wouldnt follow the diet. Like I said, she wants what she wants.  Whether its silver collector spoons or frosted flakes.

Edited April 4, 2017 by Kelly

[JudyObscure]

On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 6:35 PM, Kelly said:

In talks w my other siblings...we're worried about it. Nobody wants her moving into their home. Nobody wants to pay her expenses.  Why should we! Seems harsh to tell her "good luck, youre on your own", but after decades of dealing w her, and her stuff and her lack of change...thats what we'd all like to do. ?

I'm betting she would be considered mentally ill enough to collect SSDI.  You would probably need to get a lawyer and it's standard to be turned down the first time, but she's obviously not mentally or physically able to work so she should be eligible. I don't blame you at all for not wanting her to live with you, you just know she would bring all her stuff and add more.

[funky-rat]

Yeah, and APS may be able to help with that as well.  It sounds like she could use some assistance.

[camom]

My hoarder neighbor is moving!!!  Right now the front yard is full of his junk, but progress is being made.  I think he'll be gone within a week or two.  The whole neighborhood is applauding.

[FormerMod-a1]

One of my FB friends (and in-person friend) apparently looks a lot like Matt Paxton (also a FB friend) in his selfies*, and he's been posting a lot more on FB.  So, every day for the past week or so I'll be scrolling through my feed, see a pic and look at the location or caption and thing "Matt Paxton's in MN?!"  pause.... realization...  "Oh, that's not Matt.  That's my friend [name]".   Every time!  You'd think I'd learn.  

 

* the resemblance isn't there so much in person.

[mamadrama]

On 2/2/2017 at 5:06 PM, Mrsjumbo said:

 

She mentioned she had papers from both of my grandmothers belongings, & they died in 1990!

 

On 2/2/2017 at 7:14 PM, AZChristian said:

I feel your pain.  My almost-hoarder brother has canned goods that were in my mother's pantry.  Disposal date was 2005. 

My hoarder mother has boxes and boxes of bank statements, receipts, and doctor appointment notes that belonged to my grandma and great aunt. Nana died in 1987; aunt Ellen died in 1979. My husband and I occasionally find canned food in her house that expired in the 1980s.

On the plus side, Mom is down to 7 storage units. She has had one since 1989, though, and hasn't opened it in years. We tried to clean it out 3 times and almost succeeded but every time we get close she gets mad and retaliates by doing something awful-like forging my sig and opening a credit card in my name. She pays $110 a month for that unit. Growing up, I never had a vacation, medical care, food for lunch, or a clean house but she was never late on a payment. My neighbor took pity. She used to "sell" me her food stamps so that I could eat. My 'payment' would be to sing her a song or tell her a story. Guess that's how I became an author.

[JudyObscure]

Wow, Mamadrama.  A child without food while storage rent gets paid.  She not only could have spent that money on you, she could have sold the contents for even more lunch money.  

[camom]

Just saw the Julian Price House episode again.  I wonder what has happened to Sandra.

[andrea monet]

What steps does one take to get on this show once hoarding is well accomplished?