The "Experts"

[okerry]

I'm sorry, but these "experts" are making themselves look like incompetent morons and it gets worse with every episode. It's actually disturbing to watch Jessica and Ryan D. and I cannot fathom why this wasn't stopped.

 

Either Ryan D. IS an abuser, which is what we were shown, or he's been edited to look like one. Either way, it's wrong and kind of sick and not the least bit entertaining. I don't especially like Jessica much but leaving her in that apartment with him is also wrong and kind of sick. She ought to sue the "experts" for malpractice.

 

And if by some chance those two do end up staying together, it will be an extremely poor example of what women should put up with. If you noticed, as soon as she was beaten down and silent and crying, he came over with a paper towel for her tears and sat down to be nice. He wasn't being "nice" because he cared about her, or because he was sorry. He was doing it because he'd won and she'd given up. Then he'll build her back up again, only to tear her down once more. It's the classic abusive pattern that any REAL EXPERT would recognize immediately.

 

I used to like this show. Now I can't hardly stand to watch it. It's depressing at best and disturbing at worst. What a shame.

[girlplease]

Oh my god okerry, I think you nailed it.

[Neurochick]

These "experts" are such ass. Pairing Ryan R. and Jaclyn together when they knew relocating was their deal-breaker. 

 

And Dr. Pepper's "sexy" comment was so juvenile. She showed her ass with that one.

 

But did Ryan R say he couldn't leave Long Island?  The only one who made that comment was Davina, that she could not leave Manhattan.  

 

It's sad watching Jessica and Ryan.  I don't think he's an abuser at all.  However, I think the experts really need to take a course in classism.   My sense is that either Ryan sees himself in a higher class than Jessica, or Jessica THINKS Ryan sees himself in a higher class than she.  

[ElectricCityy]

But did Ryan R say he couldn't leave Long Island?  The only one who made that comment was Davina, that she could not leave Manhattan.  

 

In one of the BTS clips Jaclyn stated that both she and Ryan had relocation as deal-breakers. I don't think Ryan would've had an issue living 20 minutes away from his niece but living an hour away (probably longer with traffic) is a bigger deal. The experts are shitty for pairing them in the first place.

[sleekandchic]

I am bringing this post over from the "Conflict," season 2, episode 9, thread:

Is Dr. C gay? Because that is the vibe I get from him. I also got the same vibe from Sean from like the 2nd episode and still think he is at least bi.

butterbean1, I believe Dr C self-identifies as gay. I did a quick google though, and can't find verification.

I did find a piece he wrote for HuffPost Gay Voices in 2012 that's a tongue-in-cheek observation of the Grindr app. It's clever and entertaining. :)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-cilona-psyd/grindr_b_1292334.html

Edited May 15, 2015 by sleekandchic

[Scorpiosunshine]

I am bringing this post over from the "Conflict," season 2, episode 9, thread:

butterbean1, I believe Dr C self-identifies as gay. I did a quick google though, and can't find verification.

I did find a piece he wrote for HuffPost Gay Voices in 2012 that's a tongue-in-cheek observation of the Grindr app. It's clever and entertaining. :)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-cilona-psyd/grindr_b_1292334.html

 

I enjoyed reading that piece; it made me laugh out loud a few times and was indeed very clever. :)

[Snarklepuss]

Some of the article could apply to any dating site.  That said, I personally didn't find it all that clever or funny.  Moderately so, perhaps.  And I'm not just saying that because I don't like him, either.

[okerry]

For next season, if there is one: When interviewing the participants, hook them up to a lie detector and ask if they'd still want to do this if it was NOT going to be televised. You'd weed out some like Sean and Jessica, and maybe get some who were more sincere and would therefore be better on TV.

 

I'd be fine with them widening the field and allowing some folks who don't have perfect figures, or who are older - that sort of thing. Sincerity is going to get them ratings here, not model-pretty people who are doing this for the wrong reasons. JMHO

[moonxyz]

Dr C posted did an interview on a blog.

 

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/a-critical-lens-into-married-at-first.html

 

Will be back with my comments, but it looks like he is still posting about participant's personal business

Edited May 20, 2015 by moonxyz

[Kareem]

That was interesting. Thank you for posting it! I gather he thought Jaclyn was great, and Ryan R was almost as great. Then he ruined the whole thing by saying Sean could be described the same way! Sean who?! Yikes. The demanding princess is too much in her head, Jess the Mess is not prepared for this and Ryan D-nozzle has been a bad boy. This is what many of us have said about these guys, with the exception of that troglodyte, Sean. Maybe we should be experts!

[crazychicken]

Dr C posted did an interview on a blog.

 

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/a-critical-lens-into-married-at-first.html

 

Will be back with my comments, but it looks like he is still posting about participant's personal business

 

Thanks for that interview I read as

 

Blah blah blah we are not their therapist, we believe the participants when they 'self report' ie feed us crap through the interview process therefore it is not our (experts) fault that we selected four trainwrecks for this season and we are surprised the couples have issues, but once again we are not their therapist so therefore not our fault.

Edited May 21, 2015 by crazychicken

[MissScarlett]

Last season felt much more authentic in the way that the "experts" matched the couples.  Not to mention, it seemed that they met with the couples early on to discuss issues or potential issues.  Which, I think in this process... a little hand holding is much needed.  Especially when the families of each person involved in the experiment are not always on board.

 

This season, it almost feels like they were gunning for some drama with their matches.  

 

Last season, I almost thought that they threw Monet and Vaughn together full well knowing that they were not even almost a match.

Edited May 21, 2015 by MissScarlett

[Cynthiamv]

Just read this interview with Dr. Cilona and it gives a lot of detail about what actually goes into the show. It answers many of the questions posted in the forum - like how the experts could possibly have matched certain couples. Interesting to learn that the experts don't see any of the footage until the show airs and that it is sometimes shocking when they do, as the incidences depicted were not brought up by either partner during their meetings/phone calls. Good to learn that Jess & Ryan were offered therapy paid for by the show at least 6 different times throughout the experiment due to the volatility of their pairing. Enjoy!

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-critical-lens-into-married-at-first.html?m=1

[Snarklepuss]

I don't know if I should reply to this in the Social Media thread or the Spoilery media thread or the Experts thread.....Taking it to Spoilery for now.

[sleekandchic]

Sean's dumb hair reminds me of Tin Tin.

Or Fry from Futurama? His do is the least of his ridiculous qualities to me though. Creep.

Just read this interview with Dr. Cilona and it gives a lot of detail about what actually goes into the show. It answers many of the questions posted in the forum - like how the experts could possibly have matched certain couples. Interesting to learn that the experts don't see any of the footage until the show airs and that it is sometimes shocking when they do, as the incidences depicted were not brought up by either partner during their meetings/phone calls. Good to learn that Jess & Ryan were offered therapy paid for by the show at least 6 different times throughout the experiment due to the volatility of their pairing. Enjoy!

http://realitvwithbee.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-critical-lens-into-married-at-first.html?m=1

My eyes are burning and Im about to drop after a workweek from Hell, but what am I missing here? Isnt Cilona contradicting himself?

In one breath, he says The Experts dont see footage til it airs and are as shocked as we are at some of the insanity. But in the next breath, he asserts Jessica/Ryan were offered counseling six times DURING FILMING due to their volatility? Which is it?

FWIW, I believe the filming crews and AD people keep production and experts up to date on whats going on daily. Once again, Cilona reveals his asshattery in pretending to be in the dark. Jmo.

[Snarklepuss]

My eyes are burning and Im about to drop after a workweek from Hell, but what am I missing here? Isnt Cilona contradicting himself?

In one breath, he says The Experts dont see footage til it airs and are as shocked as we are at some of the insanity. But in the next breath, he asserts Jessica/Ryan were offered counseling six times DURING FILMING due to their volatility? Which is it?

FWIW, I believe the filming crews and AD people keep production and experts up to date on whats going on daily. Once again, Cilona reveals his asshattery in pretending to be in the dark. Jmo.

 

I thought it was contradictory at first too but I think he could know about the volatility and still be shocked at seeing the footage.  It might be one thing to be given an impression by the couple and yet another to actually see the blowouts first hand.   I'm sure they didn't give him a word for word accounting of each flight, hence his claiming that they didn't share many of the elements of their interactions with him.  It looks like hearing about just a few of them was enough for him to recommend counseling, though.  Seeing the footage might have included some information he didn't hear about from them.  I agree that the way he presented it might lead one to believe that he was claiming he was totally in the dark about the volatility, but upon reading it later I don't think that's what he was doing.

 

The fact that this offer of free counseling was extended by production to all the couples shows me that they know they goofed this season, but the fact that none of those couples has accepted that offer makes me wonder whether they are still together or just how invested in each other they really are.

[zxy556575]

So it looks like Epstein comes out of this with his dignity intact. Dr. Schwartz has shown sincere empathy and concern, plus she has decades of experience managing her public image and seems able to be "haters gonna hate" about it.

 

OTOH, Cilona and Levkoff haven't done their careers any favors. Too late to recast all the quacks for Season 3, but Kinetic should examine their knobby, pickled hearts if they hope to continue this mess past Atlanta.

Edited June 18, 2015 by lordonia

[Liberty]

Future applicants need to understand that the poseur's claim each character undergoes a "thorough background check" and does not include eliminating characters because of:

 

DUI last 18 months
Currently on Probation
Loss of unborn child within 1 year
Using this exposure to further an acting/modeling career
Understanding the nature of a character's employment
Character's anger issues

 

Are there more things to add?

Edited June 18, 2015 by Liberty

[zxy556575]

Using this exposure to further an acting/modeling career.

 

There wouldn't be any reality shows if this was a rule. :)

 

I'm not sure that casting a pristine angel would work for this. Finding one is impossible, anyway. We all have baggage and how our own rubs against someone else's is interesting to watch.

 

Nothing on that list would be automatic disqualifiers if I was matchmakiing. Even Ryan D's hair-trigger temper might not have been as big an issue if he had been paired with someone less meek and insecure.

[algebra]

Epstein is no longer an atheist. He believes that he, himself, is God.

Dr C preaching at babyworld

I seriously think he posts there because he perceives them as being less hostile/theatening. I wonder what his seeking out an audience of new moms says about him.

They worship him on the baby board. He's a "doctor" you know.

[Liberty]

Epstein is no longer an atheist. He believes that he, himself, is God.

 

It looks like there are about 28 Chaplains at Harvard University, to serve a student body of about 21,000, and the position does not require a PhD.  The link below does point out poseur Epstein speaks Chinese, which is pretty impressive to me.  He also blogs for the Washington Post and Newsweek.

 

Strangely poseur Epstein's two season relationship with FYI and/or Kinetic Content is not mentioned in his Harvard bio.  Can't figure that out since FYI and Kinetic are the "Harvards" of their respective industries.

 

http://chaplains.harvard.edu/people/greg-epstein

Edited June 18, 2015 by Liberty

[Snarklepuss]

I'm not sure that casting a pristine angel would work for this. Finding one is impossible, anyway. We all have baggage and how our own rubs against someone else's is interesting to watch.

 

Nothing on that list would be automatic disqualifiers if I was matchmakiing. Even Ryan D's hair-trigger temper might not have been as big an issue if he had been paired with someone less meek and insecure.

 

Well, like my mother always used to say, "There's a masochist for every sadist".

[Vinyasa]

and these people got paid for this?

 

http://www.viralglobalnews.com/entertainment/married-at-first-sight-experts-refuse-all-blame-for-their-failure/31213/

[algebra]

I think Epstein is the weirdest, most immature person in the group, but that's what academia will do to you. Those Ivory Towers are havens for Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Levkoff is a wannabe porn star, enjoys the attention she gets from talking about sex but her act only works on teenagers. Cilona's just full of shit and gets the adulation he craves over on the baby board; posters here are better educated than the posters there who keep telling him how brilliant he is. Poor Dr Pepper got thrown in with this collection of narcissists and I pictured her watching these episodes while eating frosting out of tubs and drinking wine out of cardboard boxes.

[rulesoftravel]

But Dr Pepper is on camera stating that they matched Ryan D and Jessica because of their sexiness.     I know she said "sweetness" at the reunion, but I remember the sexy remark.  

Edited June 19, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[Snarklepuss]

I know this probably doesn't interest anyone, but Dr. Logan and Dr. Pepper have been knocking around the NYC media for decades now.  I've seen both of them on TV news pieces and even talk shows based in NY going back quite a while.  I feel like I've known them forever.

[algebra]

I haven't decided if I will be able to watch the next bomb test when it goes off. I like Dr Pepper some but can't stand Levkoff and Cilona, especially after they put most of the blame on the women.

Not that I ever figured out why Pepper thinks food preparation solves marital problems. At least she's nice.

[cardigirl]

Not that I ever figured out why Pepper thinks food preparation solves marital problems. At least she's nice.

This happened when Dr. Pepper went to visit each couple in their "homes" and saw that there wasn't a whole lot of living together going on. I think she was encouraging them to actually try living together things, such as cooking with each other.

I wonder if in season 3 the couples will actually have to live together more, and not fake it like all 3 couples did last season.

[Bella]

This happened when Dr. Pepper went to visit each couple in their "homes" and saw that there wasn't a whole lot of living together going on. I think she was encouraging them to actually try living together things, such as cooking with each other.

I wonder if in season 3 the couples will actually have to live together more, and not fake it like all 3 couples did last season.

 

That explanation for cooking together makes sense, though it assumes that both partners have at least some rudimentary skill in that area. Mr. Bella sets the table, clears the table, loads the dishwasher, and otherwise stays out of my kitchen because I don't want him in my way. But even that would nudge the couples in the direction of sharing meals.

 

The thought of the couples living together more makes sense, but it also presumes that the show's production types have learned something. Have they? They got out of NYC, which was a good move. But they still have the same "experts," which is the origin of many of the show's problems IMO. We'll see. I'm hoping that Season 2 was the nadir for this show.

[qtpye]

I am actually going to give Dr. C a compliment.  His style is much better this year.  He no longer looks like he shops at the Captain Kangaroo section of Men's Wearhouse.

[moonxyz]

But his make up was too "on fleek". Too much highlighting and contouring

[Nancybeth]

Dr. C's face is freaking me out this year.  The makeup is part of it, but maybe he also got Botox or fillers or something?  It's very weird.

[moonxyz]

Re Dr C's make up:

 

-In his talking head, his under eye concealer is not properly blended

-it's not set with powder therefore has creased

 

Did he apply it himself? 

[zxy556575]

I wonder what the relationship is like these days between the experts and producers with regard to differing outcomes. The goal of the producers, pardon my cynicism, is to make a compelling TV show. Trainwreck relationships may even bring in more viewers.

 

The experts, on the other hand, must surely be invested in having at least some of the couples stay together. They're the ones who end up being castigated and blamed and their professional reputations besmirched when the matches go spectacularly awry. What's in it for them to continue? They have no experience in matchmaking or dating algorithms before this, although I think most of them have done couples counseling of some sort.

 

I suppose I question their motives the same as I do the participants -- WHY??

[ketose]

I think the experiment in their first season was seeing if arranged marriages could make good TV. Experiment confirmed. Now the experiment is seeing how much they can mess with the formula to get maximum viewership. Season 2 didn't go so well in that regard.

[Snarklepuss]

I wonder what the relationship is like these days between the experts and producers with regard to differing outcomes. The goal of the producers, pardon my cynicism, is to make a compelling TV show. Trainwreck relationships may even bring in more viewers.

 

The experts, on the other hand, must surely be invested in having at least some of the couples stay together. They're the ones who end up being castigated and blamed and their professional reputations besmirched when the matches go spectacularly awry. What's in it for them to continue? They have no experience in matchmaking or dating algorithms before this, although I think most of them have done couples counseling of some sort.

 

I suppose I question their motives the same as I do the participants -- WHY??

 

Basically, they stay for the $$$.  Plus they aren't matchmakers in any professional sense so if they fail at it, they're not failing as counselors and therapists, just matchmakers.  Their professional reputations aren't made or unmade based on how well they match people, but how well they counsel people, which is not technically the role they're taking on this show.  They're there to provide advice and guidance but not in a professional sense because it's not confidential.  At least that's what they probably think.

[Cherrio]

I am actually going to give Dr. C a compliment.  His style is much better this year.  He no longer looks like he shops at the Captain Kangaroo section of Men's Wearhouse.

I am new to this show. I just watched a marathon of it last night. I am enjoying reading all your comments.     

One thing I said to myself last night was, I would never ever see a therapist wearing a purple suit.    The suit was so ridiculous I didn't notice the makeup.

[zxy556575]

My default when reality show participants start whining or backpedaling is always -- always -- to have no mercy. You knew the rules when you signed up, folks. If you didn't, that's your fault too. "It's the editing" is it? Give me a freaking break.

 

However.

 

I'm starting to feel the eensiest bit of sympathy every time one of the MAFS people say they're going to give it their all because they know "we were matched for a reason" I want to throw my clunky orthopedic shoe at the TV. THERE WAS NO REASON! THE EXPERTS DON'T KNOW SHIT!!

 

Which by season 3 they should have realized, anyway.

Edited December 31, 2015 by lordonia

[qtpye]

THERE WAS NO REASON! THE EXPERTS DON'T KNOW SHIT!!

 

Which by season 3 they should have realized, anyway.

 

 

I think there are very sound reasons such as both Man A and Woman B think the sun is yellow, water is wet and both live on the planet earth...they must be soul mates!

[Liberty]

The clinical psychologist couldn't tell that Samantha was bi-polar? Really? For shame.

 

The show features poser Cilona who could not see what you see even though he has a PsyD from Argosy Universtiy -  Chicago and a license from somewhere to practice.  Hey, the "Experts" are not expert.

Edited December 31, 2015 by Liberty

[Adeejay]

I can't wait to hear why these idiots picked that cold fish, Ashley to be matched.  She had no business being on the show.  You would think that after the debacle that was Season Two, they'd do a better job of screening the applicants.   Apparently not. 

[okerry]

I can't wait to hear why these idiots picked that cold fish, Ashley to be matched.  She had no business being on the show.  You would think that after the debacle that was Season Two, they'd do a better job of screening the applicants.   Apparently not. 

I am betting that Ashley is severely on the rebound after a nine-year (!) relationship that apparently did not end well and was over only recently. The spurts should have rejected her for the show based on that, if nothing else. I'd like to find out if that's really the case with her.

[Empress1]

I am betting that Ashley is severely on the rebound after a nine-year (!) relationship that apparently did not end well and was over only recently. The spurts should have rejected her for the show based on that, if nothing else. I'd like to find out if that's really the case with her.

I have two experiences dating men who were coming out of divorces. (I know Ashley's not divorced, but nine years is a long time.) One had split from his wife of a dozen years only nine months before I met him. I met him online and his profile said he was divorced but I had no idea it was that recent. He left when he found out she was having an affair. I was like " ... Are you sure you're ready to be dating?" and he swore up and down that he was and that he was over his ex, but he so clearly was not. I don't think he wanted her back, but he wasn't finished grieving the relationship. As it turned out, I wasn't that into him (we weren't compatible for a number of reasons) and it fizzled after a short time. I also went out a few times with a guy who was in the act of divorcing, and he WAS ready to move on. He'd been separated for over a year when I met him and according to him they'd been "struggling" for a few years before that. He could speak objectively about his ex and the relationship, including his part in its demise, in a way that the other guy couldn't (although to be fair, there was no cheating in the second guy's marriage).

 

I would hope that the experts would be able to tell - not just by what Ashley says but by using their expertise - which one Ashley is. I would also hope that they really delved into why that relationship ended, what she wants from her next relationship, what her dating experience has been since the relationship ended, what she's done to try to get over it, etc. in order to gauge her readiness to jump into something - not just something, but a marriage. I think Ashley's motivation is "I'm getting older and now I have to start from scratch and I'm running out of time to do that," and I have totally seen people (usually women, as the biological clock is real) get married because they were "at that age," or "didn't want to start over." And that's not even necessarily a bad reason to get married - but it IS if you factor in the rebound thing, so I really hope the experts did their due diligence there. I suspect they didn't. The only one who seems credible to me is Dr. Pepper (hee hee hee).

 

Does anyone remember what the sexologist talked about with David and Ashley? I mean, they are so clearly never going to have sex with each other, but I can't remember if their preferences or anything were addressed. I'm just curious because neither of them seems very sexual to me, although that's probably because there's no chemistry between them.

[moonxyz]

I paid attention tonight and I see what you mean. I think he also got botox.

 

Yup. His face barely moves when he talks. 

Edited January 6, 2016 by moonxyz

[Cristina]

I don't see how the experts can in good conscious create some of these couples.  Clearly David is not stable.  When he had the fit about his father who died when he was a child I would have packed and snuck out the door.  His dad died a really long time ago and he is still hyper focused on him.  He talks to him constantly... It's scary.  Why is this time so long ago still "a happier time?"  What is wrong with these people?  Ashley sneak away...

 

Also Neil, did anyone get the immediate change in change in Samantha the minute he introduced his best friend, a female he once dated, and announced that that's who she should go through for information.  That's why she attacks his manhood.

 

How duped did Vanessa feel when Tres announced he was a playboy to sound cool?  They may have made their way through this issue but I would not trust him.

 

These are details the expert should have known.  I know it makes for good TV but they were told they were fixed up by experts.... I'm scared for these people.  PS I've been married 16 years.  

[Adeejay]

I don't see how the experts can in good conscious create some of these couples.

 

I agree.  I can't wait to hear their explanation as to why Ashley was chosen to be matched.   I would love to see her interview tape, because she comes across as unemotional, cold and humorless.  If I were David I would sue "the experts"  for emotional distress. 

[princelina]

I am betting that Ashley is severely on the rebound after a nine-year (!) relationship that apparently did not end well and was over only recently. The spurts should have rejected her for the show based on that, if nothing else. I'd like to find out if that's really the case with her.

But remember that last year they chose Sean, whose baby mama had had a miscarriage a few months before.  They are idiots.

[ralph]

this show will never again match any successful couples if they don't stop with the "opposite" bs. i really don't think this started until season 2. I didn't see so many opposing qualities in Monet/Vaughn Courtney/Jason and Jamie/Doug. I don't get why the experts are doing this. Their jobs aren't to "improve" people by pairing them with people who will offset or "fix" some of their qualities. Their job is to pair someone up with people they enjoy being around and would want to build a life with. They also need to stop with these low-key lessons on inner beauty and matching people off dumb reasons like, they both love their families or they both were raised and are very close to their step fathers.

Edited January 9, 2016 by ralph

[okerry]

I still think the show's biggest problem is that they get very, very few men willing to do this, but a whole lot of women. That leaves the scrambling for enough halfway decent men to use for matches. And we're seeing the results.

 

This show is the opposite of the Ashley Madison "Find an Affair Partner" website, where it turned out to be almost entirely men. If those two facts don't illustrate the difference between the two genders, I don't know what would.

[zxy556575]

At least the experts are being even-handed in their stupidity and cluelessness. Last season they cast awful men and this time the women (excluding Vanessa) are the horrible shrews.