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Small Talk: The Impala

radishcake

By radishcake
in Supernatural

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Mick Lady
Mick Lady

Guys, I came here tonight to give an update on me, but screw that!   catrox, I've been emotionally stable my entire life. I grew up in a great family, and have a (almost) perfect marriage Life has b

Mick Lady
Mick Lady

Hey Guys! Sorry I've been away so long! So much has happened with you all, and I'll comment on all of that later. I just wanted to get my old friends here up to date with me. First, Omegamom, I h

pixelcat
pixelcat

My cat's picture made the top 50 vote-off for a cat calendar at a local cat rescue (same place I adopted him from).  Yay!

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AwesomO4000

AwesomO4000

First, in case I didn't say it earlier when (I think) you shared that story, I am sorry to hear about your mom, Omegamom.

 

Second, for 7kstar: all of the advice given here is good, and I wish I had some more helpful advice to give, but in my case, my sister is one of the only not problematic members of my family. And I tend to be overly optimistic when it comes to medical things, because my mom treats most things in terms of her health as a drama, and it's hard to tell when something is actually serious - answer: it almost never is.* My grandfather is very similar in terms of medical stuff, and some financial stuff (though thankfully nowhere near as irresponsible - mostly - as my mom). Therefor my crisis meter broke quite a while ago, and I just can't tell anymore. I tend to look at it all logically, and that's mostly a good way to get family members pissed at you sometimes even when that tactic also sometimes helps in the long run.

 

But since I still want to be helpful, I'll give you some potentially tangential helpful advice? Maybe? And that is: Go ahead and write your Dean killing Sam fanfiction. I can even suggest a potential canon time setting for it to occur: Late season 4 or early season 6. I once read a rather compelling fanfiction set at the end of "Jump the Shark" where the author very convincingly and sympathetically wrote a scenario where instead of Dean saving Sam at the end of the episode, he reluctantly decided to let Sam bleed out on the ghouls' table, even staying with him until the end. The beginning of season 6 would be a fairly easy one to justify, so you could go wild there and make it as brutal as you liked. Some catharsis via fanfic. And I'm sure that it would be awesome - and I'd read it, and tell you so once everything is resolved and you could come here to tell us about it.

 

That likely wasn't very helpful, but I do sincerely hope that it all works out. And I agree with everyone above that the not telling thing can only end up as a way to shift responsibility to and as a blame trap for you, and it's not a position that your sister should be putting you into. I also agree that finding out the details - if you can** - is a good first step and at least reserving a ticket - as SueB suggested - is a good second one. Good luck to you, 7kstar, and I hope it all works out for you.

 

* On the other hand, some things that actually can be a large problem - such as horrifically managing her financial situation - she often blows off as not important at all.

** (And I know how hard that can be sometimes as my mom is sometimes great at distorting the truth or outright convincingly lying about stuff... she often even convinces herself that she's telling the truth. As I said, my crisis meter is broken at this point. I'm mostly along for the ride and have equipped myself with multiple pieces of safety equipment and contingency plans.)

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DittyDotDot

DittyDotDot

7kstar, I'm not sure what I would do in your situation--hopefully none of my siblings would put me in that position--but I think you might want to ask yourself: if it's serious enough your mother would feel compelled to leave your father right now and something were to go wrong, could you live with yourself if you kept it from your mother?  It's a tough call either way though, good luck to you.

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Demented Daisy

Demented Daisy

(edited)

Okay, obviously I'm the weirdo around here, because my first thought (and what I would do) is to tell your sister that if she wants your mom there, she should tell your mom about the surgery.  Putting the decision on you is immature and irresponsible, IMO.  As is blaming you if things go wrong.

Edited by Demented Daisy
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7kstar

7kstar

(edited)

My mom called to tell me one hour before going in to surgery for a pacemaker. Right after she had just barely recovered from a bad bout of pneumonia. If I had had more time, and hadn't been stunned to speechlessness, I'd have called her docs and argued furiously; she was about 95 pounds and frail and still in the hospital. I made it there in time to be with her for recovery, and to be there when she died from post-op complications.

If this is anything more than surgery to repair bunions, tell Mom.

 

I totally get complications.  I'm sorry that you had that experience.  Hugs.

 

This will be life threatening due to her poor health.  She almost died last time and to be honest because she didn't make the right decisions years ago before her health went down, and doesn't make enough to really afford good health care...she's gotten some bad health care.  She will die...the real question is how many more times can she survive.  She's a fighter.  She could have been dead years ago, but she has made it through time and time again.  One day she won't.

 

The problem she may be bi-polar.  She doesn't have logic, or rational thought.  I got so sick of her whinnying about how my parents haven't helped her, and she went to jail and lost her job due to that.  No she went to jail for breaking laws, a long history of it.  A long history of my parents bailing her out.  She lies, saying they haven't helped her.

 

I'm not sure if my mom could deal with the flight and she couldn't really do this by herself.  She would have to have a hotel, flight and plans.  She has back issues.  She can't drive for very long either.

 

  My sister only thinks about herself and she a grown-ass woman.  She has a grown child.  She will complain no matter what my mom does.

 

What my sister isn't thinking about or getting is that I'm very lucky that my parents are still alive.  Period.  I have plenty of friends who's parents are gone.  They are in their late 70s' and early 80s to put it in perspective.  I spent time with them this Christmas, because I know that I have few more years with my Dad.  How long he will stay healthy...I don't know.  But I know that once his health goes to he can't be active at all, he will lose his will to live and leave this earth. I expect it will be in a few more years.  The real race maybe which one will go first.  My sister or Dad.

 

My sister's health, to be blunt is bad.  But she is a Dean.  She loves bad foods.  She doesn't eat healthy and won't change.  She's a blamer.  It's never her fault.  She said that three doctors turned her down.  The doctor that did the last surgery , which she almost didn't survive, said unless she lost weight, she wouldn't survive the surgery.  She's turned it into that the doctors are rude.  She gained more weight as her solution.

 

My younger brother is a nurse, he flat told me "She's got maybe 10 more years before her health kills her."  I've lost count of the years, but she isn't getting better, not really.

 

She's the doctor's nightmare.  She ate normal foods before she had major surgery.  She heard don't eat past...So she didn't have the best conditions entering the surgery.  She stopped breathing 3 times.  The details are gross, so I won't say more.

 

My problem is that she isn't logical and I'm not able to speak to her about it rationally. But I'm also surprised that she is still here.  She doesn't appreciate what my parents have done.  It's never enough.  To be honest I ended it with "Your a spoiled brat" and hung up.  She pushed my buttons and my rational thought fled.

 

I'm ready to hear she's gone.  I know it's coming...I just don't know if this one is it.

 

I probably sound like a horrible person but I'm tired of the manipulations my sister puts everyone through.  If she wasn't family I would have ended the relationship years ago. 

 

I may talk to my older brother, as he is the one that has the better relationship with her.  My younger brother and I stopped buying her bull years ago.  But most likely I will tell so mom can decide what she wants to do and can do.  Thanks everyone for the responses.  I know if I ever did a play about my life, I think it would be a really nice dark drama.  I already have the title, "Web of Lies."  I'm just trying to believe I do have the talent to write.  That's a whole another story...  :)

 

 

Kstar, I really have no great advice, other than let your mom know, and find out if sis has someone nearby who will help with post-op stuff.

Don't know but that is a good idea.  She doesn't live in the same state or close.   I don't have a clue what kind of support system she has now.  Our last conversation, before this one, ended with her telling me,"have a nice life."  The feeling is mutual.

Edited by 7kstar
SueB

SueB

Big hugs indeed. Based on what you said, there's a medical record. The doctors have to decide if she's a viable candidate for surgery. My advice: Tell Mom, give her your opinion about prioritizing her own her your Fathers health. Trust the medical doctors to not proceed with her risk factors. Most are usually insistent (given the past failure) to see behavioral changes before proceeding. Good luck. Maybe someone will reach her.

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7kstar

7kstar

Well sister broke down and told my parents.  They aren't going.  I think since I was so mad, she called my brother to get him to tell her how awful I am and he told her to tell mom and dad.  I played dumb when mom told me the news.

 

I guess I'm still a bad sister, cause I would love to smack her upside down.  If your willing, pray that the best solution happens now. 

 

Thanks for listening.  I think the real issue is that I was in overload with everything that happened the last few weeks. A death, friend's son in life threatening situation, Dad's health and then my sister's stuff just threw me over the top.  Then just add in the stuff I deal with being a middle school teacher.  Will try to calm down now.  :)

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Iguana

Iguana

We have back up off site and some employees can work from home. Some of the offices are okay but it's so humid we can't tell yet if the electrical will be ok. Thank gods for insurance and the emergency restoration services. And to our computer guy who is slaving as we speak to get the hardware replaced and the system up and running. I can't believe how much damage the water caused. It's even worse on the floor below. Ugh!

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Iguana

Iguana

I'm most devastated personally by the potential loss of my office furniture. It was hand made by my partners father in law before he died and is irreplaceable. And all my shoes!!!! I keep a small shoe store under my desk and they are most definitely toast. And my court robes are ruined too. I have to keep reminding my self it could be worse, because it might not have been discovered until Monday.

AwesomO4000

AwesomO4000

What a crappy thing to have happened, Iguana. I hope things are fixed as quickly as possible.

 

It amazes me that after all of this time, there haven't really been that many advances in plumbing or other types of utilities. Like that pipes aren't put in places where a leak would drain out of a special drain and not in close proximity to electrical stuff, etc. It's still pretty much if a leak happens, everything gets wet. Considering all of the amazing new technology in other areas, I think it's time that there should be some major upgrades in civil engineering.

7kstar

7kstar

I'm most devastated personally by the potential loss of my office furniture. It was hand made by my partners father in law before he died and is irreplaceable. And all my shoes!!!! I keep a small shoe store under my desk and they are most definitely toast. And my court robes are ruined too. I have to keep reminding my self it could be worse, because it might not have been discovered until Monday.

Maybe the furniture can be saved, at least  I hope so.  Hugs and may it be better soon.

Omegamom

Omegamom

((((MickLady))))

That's tough. So tough. The good thing is that treatments for breast cancer are so much better than they were years ago. Please, please keep us posted, and don't disappear. We can be here to cheer you on, and to listen on bad days, and give you hugs when you need them. And we won't expect you to be all chipper-cancer-fighter, either, because we know cancer sucks.

I have a friend who has a BC blog which is very honest and open. It can be a searing read sometimes. I'll try to get the link for you.

More hugs.

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Iguana

Iguana

Well, in news of the great flood of 2016, we have a lot of both bad and good.  The insurance adjustor (and our insurance company) have been problematic, but the emergency clean up/demolition guys have been great.  The worst of the clean up should be done by Monday, but it will take weeks or months for the repairs and renos to be complete.  A number of individual computer hard drives are kaput, but the servers and other major equipment are okay.  We have no flooring, but everyone has an office, desk and computer to work at.  And when all is said and done, it's just stuff, and mostly replaceable.  Everyone's okay, and we'll manage.  So say we all.

  • Love 6
7kstar

7kstar

I miss you guys!

 

Haven't been around much, and likely won't be for awhile. Found out today I have breast cancer. Found the lump just after Christmas, biopsy came back today. This sucks!

 

One favor, when Supernatural comes back on this week, will someone please give catrox her countdown? It would mean the world to me.

I'm sending positive prayers your way.  I know you'll go through highs and lows.  When you want something to distract you, come read or post a thought.  Come when you feel like it and may journey suck a little less knowing your not on this journey alone.  Keep in touch...HUGS.

Teenage girls with PMS are hell. At least, one particular teenage girl. Ugh.

Well teaching middle school, I know this.  Some are harder to deal with than others.  Hugs and know that this too will pass.  Find humor when you can.  Sometimes I write it down.  I think my best revenge will be writing a play with their lines.  Last year we created a play and some of the kids said, "Hey, wait a minute, I said that at the last rehearsal."

I replied, "Yep, you did, and no it will live on forever in this play!"  Evil aren't I.  :)

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