Small Talk: The Impala

[rue721]

I'm so sorry, Omegamom. That must have been shattering.

[AwesomO4000]

First, in case I didn't say it earlier when (I think) you shared that story, I am sorry to hear about your mom, Omegamom.

 

Second, for 7kstar: all of the advice given here is good, and I wish I had some more helpful advice to give, but in my case, my sister is one of the only not problematic members of my family. And I tend to be overly optimistic when it comes to medical things, because my mom treats most things in terms of her health as a drama, and it's hard to tell when something is actually serious - answer: it almost never is.* My grandfather is very similar in terms of medical stuff, and some financial stuff (though thankfully nowhere near as irresponsible - mostly - as my mom). Therefor my crisis meter broke quite a while ago, and I just can't tell anymore. I tend to look at it all logically, and that's mostly a good way to get family members pissed at you sometimes even when that tactic also sometimes helps in the long run.

 

But since I still want to be helpful, I'll give you some potentially tangential helpful advice? Maybe? And that is: Go ahead and write your Dean killing Sam fanfiction. I can even suggest a potential canon time setting for it to occur: Late season 4 or early season 6. I once read a rather compelling fanfiction set at the end of "Jump the Shark" where the author very convincingly and sympathetically wrote a scenario where instead of Dean saving Sam at the end of the episode, he reluctantly decided to let Sam bleed out on the ghouls' table, even staying with him until the end. The beginning of season 6 would be a fairly easy one to justify, so you could go wild there and make it as brutal as you liked. Some catharsis via fanfic. And I'm sure that it would be awesome - and I'd read it, and tell you so once everything is resolved and you could come here to tell us about it.

 

That likely wasn't very helpful, but I do sincerely hope that it all works out. And I agree with everyone above that the not telling thing can only end up as a way to shift responsibility to and as a blame trap for you, and it's not a position that your sister should be putting you into. I also agree that finding out the details - if you can** - is a good first step and at least reserving a ticket - as SueB suggested - is a good second one. Good luck to you, 7kstar, and I hope it all works out for you.

 

* On the other hand, some things that actually can be a large problem - such as horrifically managing her financial situation - she often blows off as not important at all.

** (And I know how hard that can be sometimes as my mom is sometimes great at distorting the truth or outright convincingly lying about stuff... she often even convinces herself that she's telling the truth. As I said, my crisis meter is broken at this point. I'm mostly along for the ride and have equipped myself with multiple pieces of safety equipment and contingency plans.)

[DittyDotDot]

7kstar, I'm not sure what I would do in your situation--hopefully none of my siblings would put me in that position--but I think you might want to ask yourself: if it's serious enough your mother would feel compelled to leave your father right now and something were to go wrong, could you live with yourself if you kept it from your mother?  It's a tough call either way though, good luck to you.

[Omegamom]

Thanks, rue and awesome. It was five and a half years ago. I sometimes wonder what would have been the result if I had talked with the docs. As it is, well, water under the bridge.

Kstar, I really have no great advice, other than let your mom know, and find out if sis has someone nearby who will help with post-op stuff.

[Demented Daisy]

Okay, obviously I'm the weirdo around here, because my first thought (and what I would do) is to tell your sister that if she wants your mom there, she should tell your mom about the surgery.  Putting the decision on you is immature and irresponsible, IMO.  As is blaming you if things go wrong.

Edited January 9, 2016 by Demented Daisy

[7kstar]

My mom called to tell me one hour before going in to surgery for a pacemaker. Right after she had just barely recovered from a bad bout of pneumonia. If I had had more time, and hadn't been stunned to speechlessness, I'd have called her docs and argued furiously; she was about 95 pounds and frail and still in the hospital. I made it there in time to be with her for recovery, and to be there when she died from post-op complications.

If this is anything more than surgery to repair bunions, tell Mom.

 

I totally get complications.  I'm sorry that you had that experience.  Hugs.

 

This will be life threatening due to her poor health.  She almost died last time and to be honest because she didn't make the right decisions years ago before her health went down, and doesn't make enough to really afford good health care...she's gotten some bad health care.  She will die...the real question is how many more times can she survive.  She's a fighter.  She could have been dead years ago, but she has made it through time and time again.  One day she won't.

 

The problem she may be bi-polar.  She doesn't have logic, or rational thought.  I got so sick of her whinnying about how my parents haven't helped her, and she went to jail and lost her job due to that.  No she went to jail for breaking laws, a long history of it.  A long history of my parents bailing her out.  She lies, saying they haven't helped her.

 

I'm not sure if my mom could deal with the flight and she couldn't really do this by herself.  She would have to have a hotel, flight and plans.  She has back issues.  She can't drive for very long either.

 

  My sister only thinks about herself and she a grown-ass woman.  She has a grown child.  She will complain no matter what my mom does.

 

What my sister isn't thinking about or getting is that I'm very lucky that my parents are still alive.  Period.  I have plenty of friends who's parents are gone.  They are in their late 70s' and early 80s to put it in perspective.  I spent time with them this Christmas, because I know that I have few more years with my Dad.  How long he will stay healthy...I don't know.  But I know that once his health goes to he can't be active at all, he will lose his will to live and leave this earth. I expect it will be in a few more years.  The real race maybe which one will go first.  My sister or Dad.

 

My sister's health, to be blunt is bad.  But she is a Dean.  She loves bad foods.  She doesn't eat healthy and won't change.  She's a blamer.  It's never her fault.  She said that three doctors turned her down.  The doctor that did the last surgery , which she almost didn't survive, said unless she lost weight, she wouldn't survive the surgery.  She's turned it into that the doctors are rude.  She gained more weight as her solution.

 

My younger brother is a nurse, he flat told me "She's got maybe 10 more years before her health kills her."  I've lost count of the years, but she isn't getting better, not really.

 

She's the doctor's nightmare.  She ate normal foods before she had major surgery.  She heard don't eat past...So she didn't have the best conditions entering the surgery.  She stopped breathing 3 times.  The details are gross, so I won't say more.

 

My problem is that she isn't logical and I'm not able to speak to her about it rationally. But I'm also surprised that she is still here.  She doesn't appreciate what my parents have done.  It's never enough.  To be honest I ended it with "Your a spoiled brat" and hung up.  She pushed my buttons and my rational thought fled.

 

I'm ready to hear she's gone.  I know it's coming...I just don't know if this one is it.

 

I probably sound like a horrible person but I'm tired of the manipulations my sister puts everyone through.  If she wasn't family I would have ended the relationship years ago. 

 

I may talk to my older brother, as he is the one that has the better relationship with her.  My younger brother and I stopped buying her bull years ago.  But most likely I will tell so mom can decide what she wants to do and can do.  Thanks everyone for the responses.  I know if I ever did a play about my life, I think it would be a really nice dark drama.  I already have the title, "Web of Lies."  I'm just trying to believe I do have the talent to write.  That's a whole another story...  :)

 

 

Kstar, I really have no great advice, other than let your mom know, and find out if sis has someone nearby who will help with post-op stuff.

Don't know but that is a good idea.  She doesn't live in the same state or close.   I don't have a clue what kind of support system she has now.  Our last conversation, before this one, ended with her telling me,"have a nice life."  The feeling is mutual.

Edited January 9, 2016 by 7kstar

[Demented Daisy]

There's no drama quite like family drama, is there?  Big hugs your way!

[SueB]

Big hugs indeed. Based on what you said, there's a medical record. The doctors have to decide if she's a viable candidate for surgery. My advice: Tell Mom, give her your opinion about prioritizing her own her your Fathers health. Trust the medical doctors to not proceed with her risk factors. Most are usually insistent (given the past failure) to see behavioral changes before proceeding. Good luck. Maybe someone will reach her.

[7kstar]

Well sister broke down and told my parents.  They aren't going.  I think since I was so mad, she called my brother to get him to tell her how awful I am and he told her to tell mom and dad.  I played dumb when mom told me the news.

 

I guess I'm still a bad sister, cause I would love to smack her upside down.  If your willing, pray that the best solution happens now. 

 

Thanks for listening.  I think the real issue is that I was in overload with everything that happened the last few weeks. A death, friend's son in life threatening situation, Dad's health and then my sister's stuff just threw me over the top.  Then just add in the stuff I deal with being a middle school teacher.  Will try to calm down now.  :)

[Omegamom]

Glad your older bro smacked her upside the haid. Still might be a good idea to find out her post-op plans and support system, but you've got a lot on your plate right now, and I'm glad mom knows and was able to make her decision.

Hugs to you, kstar. I hope things settle down!

[SueB]

Hey, if you don't have a least a mini-freak-out every once in a while, life is boring.

Glad Mom knows.

And being a Middle School teacher? Kinda makes you a super-hero. Trust me, I know.

[catrox14]

Wow. David Bowie has passed away :(.  I'm really sad about this. 

 

I'm forever grateful now that Supernatural has Space Oddity in an episode.  RIP David Bowie.

[Omegamom]

We need diamond tears to drip down our cheeks. I'm in shock. Goodbye, Major Tom.

[Commando Cody]

It was terrible news to wake up to. I had no idea he was sick. 

[mertensia]

I ordered some Supernatural mystery minis and they came. I got a Bobby....he was decapitated. I'm trying to figure out if this has a deeper meaning or not.

[Demented Daisy]

David Bowie and Alan Rickman in one week.  If my heroes could stop dying, I would really appreciate that.

[auntvi]

"NO!!," I just screamed at the monitor. Both cancer, both at age 69. Damn!  I just did my annual watch/cry fest of Truly, Madly, Deeply, too.

 

 

[Omegamom]

"By Grabthar's Hammer, he will be avenged!" - Galaxy Quest, one of my very favorite under-appreciated movies.

[auntvi]

So what was the name of the character Alan Rickman played in Dogma?  

Metatron

 

[catrox14]

"By Grabthar's Hammer, he will be avenged!" - Galaxy Quest, one of my very favorite under-appreciated movies.

 

"By Grabthar's Hammer.....what a savings". 

 

I LOVE Galaxy Quest so very much and Alexander Dane is my favorite Rickman role.   So great. So sad :(

Edited January 14, 2016 by catrox14

[Demented Daisy]

So what was the name of the character Alan Rickman played in Dogma?  

Metatron

 

 

NSFW -- it's a Kevin Smith movie.  I said it when the character was cast, and I'll say it again: they shouldn't have included the character on SPN if they couldn't get Alan.  ;-)

 

[auntvi]

Thanks so much for that clip! I had forgotten how funny he was.

[Omegamom]

Okay, now I have to watch Dogma.

[catrox14]

Dogma is so great and totally irreverent.

[Iguana]

Holy suckfest y'all. A pipe burst at my office sometime last night. Massive flood. Files are sodden piles of unreadable garbage. The lobby was a swamp. The computers are toast. I'm so bummed out. We don't know yet if we'll even be able to open Monday. Fuck.

[Omegamom]

Oh, ugh, Iguana. What are the contingencies for employees in that type of situation?

[catrox14]

Holy suckfest y'all. A pipe burst at my office sometime last night. Massive flood. Files are sodden piles of unreadable garbage. The lobby was a swamp. The computers are toast. I'm so bummed out. We don't know yet if we'll even be able to open Monday. Fuck.

 

OH NO! That's awful. I sure hope there is back up somewhere :(. 

[Iguana]

We have back up off site and some employees can work from home. Some of the offices are okay but it's so humid we can't tell yet if the electrical will be ok. Thank gods for insurance and the emergency restoration services. And to our computer guy who is slaving as we speak to get the hardware replaced and the system up and running. I can't believe how much damage the water caused. It's even worse on the floor below. Ugh!

[catrox14]

OH good! At least off site storage.  But still it's awful :(.

[Iguana]

I'm most devastated personally by the potential loss of my office furniture. It was hand made by my partners father in law before he died and is irreplaceable. And all my shoes!!!! I keep a small shoe store under my desk and they are most definitely toast. And my court robes are ruined too. I have to keep reminding my self it could be worse, because it might not have been discovered until Monday.

[AwesomO4000]

What a crappy thing to have happened, Iguana. I hope things are fixed as quickly as possible.

 

It amazes me that after all of this time, there haven't really been that many advances in plumbing or other types of utilities. Like that pipes aren't put in places where a leak would drain out of a special drain and not in close proximity to electrical stuff, etc. It's still pretty much if a leak happens, everything gets wet. Considering all of the amazing new technology in other areas, I think it's time that there should be some major upgrades in civil engineering.

[7kstar]

I'm most devastated personally by the potential loss of my office furniture. It was hand made by my partners father in law before he died and is irreplaceable. And all my shoes!!!! I keep a small shoe store under my desk and they are most definitely toast. And my court robes are ruined too. I have to keep reminding my self it could be worse, because it might not have been discovered until Monday.

Maybe the furniture can be saved, at least  I hope so.  Hugs and may it be better soon.

[Iguana]

Thanks for the warm fuzzies, y'all. We just have to wait now to see what's salvageable. And if the equipment will be ok to use on Monday. Arrrrgh.

[SueB]

Those poor IT guys. I bet they have recurring nightmares about this stuff.  

 

 

I think it's time that there should be some major upgrades in civil engineering.

Don't get me started on the state of our nation's bridges and Hwy infrastructure.  Yep, civil engineering is so fundamental and yet so ignored.  

[catrox14]

UGH.  Glenn Frey has passed away.  :(.

 

I don't like this year right now

[Omegamom]

The iconic rock musicians of my formative years are dropping like flies. :-(

Edited January 18, 2016 by Omegamom

[Omegamom]

Iguana - How's the water damage? And your office furniture?

Spotify has decided I want to listen to hard rock/metal covers of old classics in their "Discover Weekly" playlist. I just suffered through Fleetwood Mac's "Chains" being...um...well, not massacred. But not great. Now, a heavy metal cover of "Bang The Gong". Um.

[Mick Lady]

I miss you guys!

 

Haven't been around much, and likely won't be for awhile. Found out today I have breast cancer. Found the lump just after Christmas, biopsy came back today. This sucks!

 

One favor, when Supernatural comes back on this week, will someone please give catrox her countdown? It would mean the world to me.

[Omegamom]

((((MickLady))))

That's tough. So tough. The good thing is that treatments for breast cancer are so much better than they were years ago. Please, please keep us posted, and don't disappear. We can be here to cheer you on, and to listen on bad days, and give you hugs when you need them. And we won't expect you to be all chipper-cancer-fighter, either, because we know cancer sucks.

I have a friend who has a BC blog which is very honest and open. It can be a searing read sometimes. I'll try to get the link for you.

More hugs.

[catrox14]

Oh gosh MickLady....I am so so sorry to hear that news. I am going to keep nothing but positive thoughts for you.  And yes please do come back around here for the countdown...

 

Here have some Dean hugs ..from all of us.

 

 

 

[Iguana]

Aw shit Micklady. Sending good hopeful vibes your way. Don't be a stranger during your treatment if you can help it as us posters can maybe be both supportive and distracting.

[AwesomO4000]

 I'm so sorry to hear that, Mick Lady, and yes, please come by and bitch any time if it'll make you feel better.

 

I'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.

 

Also, at some point there will be a new chapter of my fanfic. I promise. It's not much, but it's what I can do, so it's what I'll do.

[Demented Daisy]

Ugh.  Fuck cancer.  Seriously.  

 

Mick Lady, you know what Jared would say, right?

[SueB]

Mick Lady ... got 'ya covered on the countdown.

 

I know there is likely to be some sucky times ahead.  We don't mind hearing about it.  And we don't mind talking about other things if that keeps you distracted.  We're here for you.

[Diane]

Mick Lady, so sorry cancer sucks.  Take care of you and please know you can come and bitch to us.

[rue721]

(((((Mick Lady)))))

 

That's awful news, and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Omegamom]

Teenage girls with PMS are hell. At least, one particular teenage girl. Ugh.

[catrox14]

Teenage girls with PMS are hell. At least, one particular teenage girl. Ugh.

 

Any thought given to using the pill to manage the symptoms? I did it for a long time in my late thirties. Made a world of difference for me...and you know pregnancy prevention :).  It's tough.

[Iguana]

Well, in news of the great flood of 2016, we have a lot of both bad and good.  The insurance adjustor (and our insurance company) have been problematic, but the emergency clean up/demolition guys have been great.  The worst of the clean up should be done by Monday, but it will take weeks or months for the repairs and renos to be complete.  A number of individual computer hard drives are kaput, but the servers and other major equipment are okay.  We have no flooring, but everyone has an office, desk and computer to work at.  And when all is said and done, it's just stuff, and mostly replaceable.  Everyone's okay, and we'll manage.  So say we all.

[7kstar]

I miss you guys!

 

Haven't been around much, and likely won't be for awhile. Found out today I have breast cancer. Found the lump just after Christmas, biopsy came back today. This sucks!

 

One favor, when Supernatural comes back on this week, will someone please give catrox her countdown? It would mean the world to me.

I'm sending positive prayers your way.  I know you'll go through highs and lows.  When you want something to distract you, come read or post a thought.  Come when you feel like it and may journey suck a little less knowing your not on this journey alone.  Keep in touch...HUGS.

Teenage girls with PMS are hell. At least, one particular teenage girl. Ugh.

Well teaching middle school, I know this.  Some are harder to deal with than others.  Hugs and know that this too will pass.  Find humor when you can.  Sometimes I write it down.  I think my best revenge will be writing a play with their lines.  Last year we created a play and some of the kids said, "Hey, wait a minute, I said that at the last rehearsal."

I replied, "Yep, you did, and no it will live on forever in this play!"  Evil aren't I.  :)