Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Leeds]

On 5/11/2023 at 9:35 PM, RealHousewife said:

Mail is a pet peeve. I don't need like 95% of what I get in the mail. 

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/how-stop-junk-mail

[TattleTeeny]

Am I being an ass for not wanting to drag (not literally!) my broken foot to my BF's cousin's barbecue tomorrow? 

1) I don't feel like talking about my foot all day to a bunch of people, many of whom I don't know very well. I don't know how it happened and I am following doctors' advice and I don't have anything to say other than that and I don't want to talk about it.

2) More so, I don't feel like struggling in front of an audience. I am still terrible with crutches and I have since learned that this is not just a "me" thing; a lot of people, often women (including my therapist!), have had this same difficulty. And many seem to just say "fuck it" to the crutches unless they're absolutely necessary. Just getting out of my place and down to the parking lot is a whole thing; by the time we get on the way, I am already pissed off. 

3) I have barely seen anyone other than my BF for weeks and weeks and weeks. While this seems like the exact reason that I should go, it feels like a little much all at once, for the reasons above!

I know that my BF's mom and his cousin mean well. I know that the people there who would ask about it mean well. So, I would have to "be nice," as people often take "I don't want to talk about it" as a negative/awkward thing. I also still don't have a job (a real one, anyway--the freelancing [since January] is paying the bills pretty well). I just don't feel like I am in a good socializing frame of mind, at least not for a whole big thing; I am actually fine with a couple of people here and there!

I guess my peeve might be other people telling me what's good for me?

Edited May 27, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Leeds]

3 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Am I being an ass for not wanting to drag (not literally!) my broken foot to my BF's cousin's barbecue tomorrow? 

1) I don't feel like talking about this all day to a bunch of people, many of whom I don't know very well. 

2) More so, I don't feel like struggling in front of an audience. I am still terrible with crutches and I have since learned that this is not just a "me" thing; a lot of people, often women (including my therapist!), have had this same difficulty. And many seem to just say "fuck it" to the crutches unless they're absolutely necessary. Just getting out of my place and down to the parking lot is a whole thing; by the time we get on the way, I am already pissed off. 

3) I have barely seen anyone other than my BF for weeks and weeks and weeks. While this seems like the exact reason that I should go, it feels like a little much all at once, for the reasons above!

I know that my BF's mom and his cousin mean well. I know that the people there who would ask about it mean well. So, I would have to be nice; people often take "I don't want to talk about it" as a negative/awkward thing. I also still don't have a job (a real one, anyway--the freelancing [since January] is paying the bills pretty well). I just don't feel like I am in a good socializing frame of mind, at least not for a whole big thing; I am actually fine with a couple of people here and there!

I guess my peeve might be other people telling me what's good for me?

If you don't want to go, don't go.

[TattleTeeny]

Yes, I know. But it's not really that simple. Or, at least, it doesn't feel simple, when again, I know they mean well.

Edited May 27, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[oliviabenson]

Ticket prices for concerts/comedy shows are too expensive. Feels like twice as much as pre COVID. I can’t afford to do anything fun at all. 

[nokat]

7 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yes, I know. But it's not really that simple.

So which option is better for you? Staying home will cause lots of questions too.

I would have a quick self-deprecating answer such as "just me being clumsy" or such which was true in my case.

I know how you feel about people being inquisitive about your boot, and I think it is people thinking they are being polite (or a conversation starter) to ask. I get asked about my knee brace from random people if I'm out, and sometimes it is just someone commiserating as they've had a similar injury.

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, staying home will cause questions for my BF, not me! Maybe I could reply to questions with "what are you talking about?"

[nokat]

2 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Ticket prices for concerts/comedy shows are too expensive. Feels like twice as much as pre COVID. I can’t afford to do anything fun at all. 

I'm finding out how expensive it is to move cross country with a small amount of furniture, kitchen items, and clothes. If I pack and fill the container or truck, it is anywhere from $1500 to $6000, and then I have to add in people to get boxes etc into said container or truck, because no way can I do it. Sigh.

[TattleTeeny]

Moving is a beast of thing even for small distances -- I can't even imagine how stressful it must be to do it across the country.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yes, I know. But it's not really that simple. Or, at least, it doesn't feel simple, when again, I know they mean well.

Learn from Phoebe. I know I did.

 

[TattleTeeny]

Hahahahaa! Oddly enough, a few people throughout the years have nicknamed me “Phoebe” — maybe now is the time to use that to my advantage!

[EtheltoTillie]

3 hours ago, Leeds said:

If you don't want to go, don't go.

What Leeds said

[SunnyBeBe]

6 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Am I being an ass for not wanting to drag (not literally!) my broken foot to my BF's cousin's barbecue tomorrow? 

1) I don't feel like talking about my foot all day to a bunch of people, many of whom I don't know very well. I don't know how it happened and I am following doctors' advice and I don't have anything to say other than that and I don't want to talk about it.

2) More so, I don't feel like struggling in front of an audience. I am still terrible with crutches and I have since learned that this is not just a "me" thing; a lot of people, often women (including my therapist!), have had this same difficulty. And many seem to just say "fuck it" to the crutches unless they're absolutely necessary. Just getting out of my place and down to the parking lot is a whole thing; by the time we get on the way, I am already pissed off. 

3) I have barely seen anyone other than my BF for weeks and weeks and weeks. While this seems like the exact reason that I should go, it feels like a little much all at once, for the reasons above!

I know that my BF's mom and his cousin mean well. I know that the people there who would ask about it mean well. So, I would have to "be nice," as people often take "I don't want to talk about it" as a negative/awkward thing. I also still don't have a job (a real one, anyway--the freelancing [since January] is paying the bills pretty well). I just don't feel like I am in a good socializing frame of mind, at least not for a whole big thing; I am actually fine with a couple of people here and there!

I guess my peeve might be other people telling me what's good for me?

I used to think that I might gain something from doing something that I didn’t want to do,…like patience, compassion, selflessness, etc.  But, I no longer feel that way.  I make a concerted effort to listen to that voice inside me that tells me what I really want to do.  And, I’m usually right.  I’ve paid my dues and owe no one a reason to be at an event I don’t care to be, especially, if I had a physical condition that made it uncomfortable to attend.  
 

When people ask questions about a brace, crutches, device, etc,  they are likely just curious.  I would think of a response that would shut down further discussion, like I fell off a piano or rough landing on a hang glider.  Lol. 

Edited May 27, 2023 by SunnyBeBe

[TattleTeeny]

Bar fight could work!

[Bethany]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yes, I know. But it's not really that simple. Or, at least, it doesn't feel simple, when again, I know they mean well.

To me the only reason I'd go is if it meant something to my bf.  If he really wanted me to go I'd probably make an effort.  iF he didn't care one way or another I'd be in front of the TV, laptop at hand a bag of chips nearby instead.

[Mondrianyone]

2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

 I would think of a response that would shut down further discussion, like I fell off a piano or rough landing on a hang glider.

Or, maybe more to the point . . .

Rando:  What happened to your foot?

Me:  I broke it kicking the ass of the last person who asked me a nosy question.

[TattleTeeny]

2 hours ago, Bethany said:

To me the only reason I'd go is if it meant something to my bf.  If he really wanted me to go I'd probably make an effort.  iF he didn't care one way or another I'd be in front of the TV, laptop at hand a bag of chips nearby instead.

That’s me today. 

I know he would like me to go, but “mean something” is probably overstating. I really think that he and his mom and cousin don’t get how exhausting this has been in terms of becoming easily exhausted (because fuck crutches!). And it’s not that I wouldn’t like to go do something. I just don’t feel like being more stressed out in the process.

Eh, maybe I see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe I’ll feel daring and ready for a challenge. 

ETA: a whole different peeve. I am certain I’m not alone in this but yikes, man—the crazy-long preambles to recipes online! And some of the site owners really hide that “jump to” button good! 

Edited May 27, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Bastet]

If this was his brother's wedding or something, I'd say that's one of the prices you pay in a committed relationship and you should grab your crutches and go.  But a cousin's barbecue?  Nope; enjoy a quiet afternoon/evening with the cats.

[TattleTeeny]

It’s more his family’s feelings I’m worried about; my BF is usually the one who doesn’t feel like going to things (and it’s not that I don’t WANT to go). But thank you all! I will try to shut it about this stupid fucking foot now. Uuughh, it’s just…ugh. And stupid!

[Bastet]

1 minute ago, TattleTeeny said:

It’s more his family’s feelings I’m worried about

If their feelings are of the affronted variety rather than sorry to hear she's having such a tough time and I hope she feels better soon, that's on them.

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

ETA: a whole different peeve. I am certain I’m not alone in this but yikes, man—the crazy-long preambles to recipes online!

Those drive me crazy!  Just fucking tell me how to make it.  I do not want to know the life story of the person whose own dish inspired it, the author's life story, their detailed tale of shopping for the ingredients, some allegedly cute comment their allegedly cute kid allegedly made when he came to the table, or the 18 different pictures they took of their mise en place alone.

[TattleTeeny]

Right?! And I am not above reading a little bit of engaging copy about the person whose recipe I’m using free of charge — just rein it in a little and hit the bullet points (and please use a line break every so often)!

[oliviabenson]

I broke my foot on my side job as a dominatrix 🤪🤣😁! 
 

 

[TattleTeeny]

That post with your user name — perfect! 

[oliviabenson]

3 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

That post with your user name — perfect! 

Me?

[TattleTeeny]

16 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

Me?

Yes, sorry!

[annzeepark914]

4 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

It’s more his family’s feelings I’m worried about; my BF is usually the one who doesn’t feel like going to things (and it’s not that I don’t WANT to go). But thank you all! I will try to shut it about this stupid fucking foot now. Uuughh, it’s just…ugh. And stupid!

Just say that your foot is aching and you'd like to stay off it for a couple days. Foot injuries are damn hard to heal thanks to everything a foot has to do (bear our weight, help with balance, uh...what else?) Don't worry about his family's feelings. They're not the one dealing with crutches, a sore foot, etc. Look out for your own health!! Ok...just tell them annzeepark told you to stay home with your foot propped up 😎

[TattleTeeny]

Yeah, the bearing weight is the main issue, in that it hasn’t in 6 weeks. My foot has not touched the floor in over a month now and it’s basically been borderline torture navigating even my own house (mostly knee scooter, sometimes hopping and/or crawling!). I don’t want to bother trying at someone else’s house (even if there are puppies there!).

I really wish I knew how I broke it so I could ensure that I never do it again!

Edited May 28, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[SuprSuprElevated]

13 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yes, I know. But it's not really that simple. Or, at least, it doesn't feel simple, when again, I know they mean well.

"Yeah, but you should see the other guy".

[Bastet]

8 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Bar fight could work!

I forgot to say earlier I once used that story for why I had three stitches in my upper lip, back in my early 20s.

The real story was I had stupidly ignored my cat's extended verbal warnings to back off, and she took a claws-out swing at me and split my lip.  One hundred percent my fault; I had my two cats over at my parents' house, trying to get them and the family cats used to each other, and one of the OGs was NOT having it.  She was on my parents' bed, and I was comforting her that she'd always be my baby, when one of the interlopers came in.  She got agitated, and instead of listening to her, I kept my face right there talking to her.  She finally shut me up.

My department was a bunch of other cat ladies (gods, that was a great place to work), so I told them the story, but everyone else who passed through the office and asked, "OMG, what happened?" got "Bar fight" as a response.  I even threw in "You should see the other guy" at one point (which is why the post above reminded me).

[Leeds]

2 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Just say that your foot is aching and you'd like to stay off it for a couple days. Foot injuries are damn hard to heal thanks to everything a foot has to do (bear our weight, help with balance, uh...what else?) Don't worry about his family's feelings. They're not the one dealing with crutches, a sore foot, etc. Look out for your own health!! Ok...just tell them annzeepark told you to stay home with your foot propped up 😎

Just have your boyfriend tell them you injured your knee and are under doctor's orders to stay off your feet so you are housebound.  If he doesn't want to go, have him call the host and tell them that because you're injured he needs to stay at home and take care of you.  I'm not quite sure I understand why it's such a big deal.

(If you want to get out of the house, maybe have your boyfriend put together a picnic and drive to a handicap accessible scenic area where you can hobble a couple of steps to a picnic table and enjoy a change of scenery.)

 

[TattleTeeny]

None of that is the issue that made me post here (and all things that I would not need to ask for help to figure out). I was venting here (as we do), as I feel bad about not going because I know they mean well. However, I also feel annoyed (peeved, if you will) that everyone seems to believe they know what is best for me, while also not understanding how stressful this truly is; I believe they think I am merely moving slower than normal (not their fault, as I have not stressed it to them repeatedly). But, again, I have not put my left foot onto the floor in 6 weeks. I have to use a knee scooter in my house. I am ineffective at crutches. Yes, I am indeed tired of being in the house and I appreciate the invitation, but I do not feel that this particular event is the right place for me to go today.

The issue is I feel badgered but also guilty, not that I don't know how to stay home. And that no one is listening to me, even though they mean well. The latter is what makes it difficult. I apologize if I wasn't clear. 

Also, I give up trying to convey this. I don’t care anymore. That said, does anyone know a good way to keep various types of bees away from a balcony that will not harm them or birds or anyone else? 

 

Edited May 28, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[BlueSkies]

Peet peeve on drivers.  Sometimes tailgaters actually scare me more now than make me angry.  Because it makes me on edge then I dont concentrate as well on the road.  Then god forbid I have to slam on the brakes I fear the person behind me will go right into my rear.  Sometimes I just turn off a side street if it's early in the morning and someones riding my tail.  Too early to get pissed off.

 

Also, drivers whose break lights are out really bother me as well.  Now to be fair I guess somebody might not know that.  That can be a legit excuse.  But if its two break lights out well chances are the person driving isn't the brightest bulb.  And again today I was behind someone with a break light out where I had to slam on the brakes last second.  I rely on the break lights in front of me to know when to stop 

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, BlueSkies said:

Also, drivers whose break lights are out really bother me as well.  Now to be fair I guess somebody might not know that.  That can be a legit excuse.  But if its two break lights out well chances are the person driving isn't the brightest bulb.  And again today I was behind someone with a break light out where I had to slam on the brakes last second.  I rely on the break lights in front of me to know when to stop 

You can easily tell from inside the car during routine driving if your center brake light (in the rear window) is out, but it's hard to know if either or both of the tail brake lights are out without someone telling you or specifically checking.  You're supposed to check regularly to make sure, of course, but most people find out by getting a "fix-it" ticket. 

I check mine after every oil change (which means twice a year) as an easy way to remember -- after I pull the car back all the way into the garage when I'm finished, I shut the door, then step on the brakes as with the inside of my garage door being white I can easily see if all the necessary reflections are present.

[nokat]

28 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I check mine after every oil change (which means twice a year) as an easy way to remember -- after I pull the car back all the way into the garage when I'm finished, I shut the door, then step on the brakes as with the inside of my garage door being white I can easily see if all the necessary reflections are present.

Yes, we are taught that, and it is an easy check, and if not a garage than any reflective surface in front of or behind you. Also blinkers.

[Browncoat]

Related peeve, and one I've peeved about before, but since it's raining today, and I have a long drive this afternoon, it's worth repeating.  People who don't turn on their headlights in the rain!  No, y'all, your automatic lights do not always turn on your taillights.  Please do so manually so I can see you when you're driving below the speed limit in the left lane.

[Calvada]

On 5/27/2023 at 4:52 PM, Bastet said:

Those drive me crazy!  Just fucking tell me how to make it.  I do not want to know the life story of the person whose own dish inspired it, the author's life story, their detailed tale of shopping for the ingredients, some allegedly cute comment their allegedly cute kid allegedly made when he came to the table, or the 18 different pictures they took of their mise en place alone.

This also drives me nuts.  The other thing that irks me about online recipes is when you scale it down, say from 6 servings to 3 servings, it usually doesn't doesn't change the amounts in the directions.  For example, the original version of the recipe might have something like 1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese, divided, and then the directions tell you to add 1/2 cup at step 2, and then sprinkle the other 1/2 cup on top in step 8 before putting in the oven.  When you scale the ingredients down to a total of a 1/2 cup, divided, the directions don't change to add 1/4 cup in step 2, but remain add 1/2 cup.  

My other peeve about online recipes is when someone gives it a really high rating, then list all the changes they made - ingredients left out or substitutions made, different spices/seasonings used.  Yeah, the recipe was so great I created an entirely new one.  

[BlueSkies]

There seemed to be a misunderstanding at a local gas station today of how much the customer wanted in her car versus how much the worker put in.  

 

So she started yelling and cursing at this poor attendant.  I mean how I see it is even if he didn't understand her....  no need for that behavior from her 

[Browncoat]

I wish I had someone to pump my gas.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

I wish I had someone to pump my gas.

My husband always does. I haven't put gas in my own car since the nineties. Service is his love language.  ❤️

[theredhead77]

5 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Related peeve, and one I've peeved about before, but since it's raining today, and I have a long drive this afternoon, it's worth repeating.  People who don't turn on their headlights in the rain!  No, y'all, your automatic lights do not always turn on your taillights.  Please do so manually so I can see you when you're driving below the speed limit in the left lane.

But their hazards will draw attention and help you see them! /s

[BlueSkies]

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

I wish I had someone to pump my gas.

My dirty mind kind of went elsewhere with that quote 😅

 

 

But that does lead me to a point of when people take things out of context and or  quote someone in bad faith.....  I dont like that stuff 

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I wish I had someone to pump my gas.

Me too. So I always go to the same Exxon. I even know which white square to push to mute the loud, squawking ads 😁.

[EtheltoTillie]

3 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I wish I had someone to pump my gas.

You'll have to move to New Jersey.

[Bastet]

When I was a kid, pumping gas seemed cool and I was bummed only my parents got to do it.  (Yeah, I don't know.  I also thought wrapping presents was fun, and they both hate it, so they were thrilled to give me everything but my own presents to wrap.  Now I hate it just as much and wonder what the hell I was thinking.)  I no longer think pumping gas is cool, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest to do; a lot of mundane tasks have become annoying to me after doing them for so long, but pumping gas does not register on my sick of this shit scale.

[peacheslatour]

53 minutes ago, Bastet said:

When I was a kid, pumping gas seemed cool and I was bummed only my parents got to do it.  (Yeah, I don't know.  I also thought wrapping presents was fun, and they both hate it, so they were thrilled to give me everything but my own presents to wrap.  Now I hate it just as much and wonder what the hell I was thinking.)  I no longer think pumping gas is cool, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest to do; a lot of mundane tasks have become annoying to me after doing them for so long, but pumping gas does not register on my sick of this shit scale.

I used to like the smell of gas because it reminded me of my dad (he restored vintage MGs) but then I did a short stint as an assistant to a big mucky muck mortgage broker. One day she ran out of gas and called me to get her some. I went to a nearby gas station, rented a gas can and took it to her and put the gas in her car. Well, like an idiot, I put the gas can in my back seat. My car reeked of gas for months after that. Now the smell makes me gag.

[Browncoat]

3 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

You'll have to move to New Jersey.

Not worth it.  😉

[rcc]

3 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

You'll have to move to New Jersey.

Or move to Maine. Some pump for you.

[EtheltoTillie]

10 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I used to like the smell of gas because it reminded me of my dad (he restored vintage MGs) but then I did a short stint as an assistant to a big mucky muck mortgage broker. One day she ran out of gas and called me to get her some. I went to a nearby gas station, rented a gas can and took it to her and put the gas in her car. Well, like an idiot, I put the gas can in my back seat. My car reeked of gas for months after that. Now the smell makes me gag.

But didn’t you meet your husband in a gas station?

[SuprSuprElevated]

PP - Mosquitos!  And yes, I'm one of those people. 😕

are-you-mosquito-magnet

[peacheslatour]

9 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

But didn’t you meet your husband in a gas station?

I did!  So, I guess the smell of gas reminded me of two of my favorite men. Although I'm glad hubby sold his auto repair shop and the only cars he works on anymore are ours.