Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[auntlada]

Can you untag yourself on Instagram? Can you set your account up so that no one can tag you without your permission (or at all)? I'd do it, if it is possible.

Your mom and other sister may have been relieved that they didn't have to drive an hour and a half for lunch after all, but of course didn't want to make you feel bad by saying so.

Edited October 26, 2016 by auntlada

[DeLurker]

14 hours ago, bilgistic said:

My birthday is tomorrow. Bleh. (Don't acknowledge it.) My sister (the dramatic one who posted on Facebook about being one-month "sober", but didn't tell any of us about it) apparently told my mom that she wanted for us all to have lunch Sunday. My sister has yet to ask ME if I want to have lunch for my birthday. That sister, my folks and I all live about 1.5 hours' drive apart in different directions. My other sister lives almost three hours away from me. They were coming to me (in the middle) for lunch.

I felt anxiety at the first mention of it.

Since it is your birthday, shouldn't they have asked and not told you what was going to happen?  By they I mean Sober Sis.

I have never ever liked celebrating my birthday - I am highly uncomfortable being a focal point.  I don't feel guilty about it so I don't want you to do anything that makes you anxious.

11 hours ago, lordonia said:

I live in a retirement community and any establishments that have background soundtracks invariably play oldies, no exceptions. I feel bad for the 20-year old clerks and servers who have to listen to that all day!

I used to be one of those 20 year olds.  You just get used to it and it becomes white noise. 

[zxy556575]

22 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

I used to be one of those 20 year olds.  You just get used to it and it becomes white noise. 

So do you know all the words to My Boyfriend's Back and The Sound of Silence? :)

Here's a small peeve but I'll own it: When car washes use someone over 6' tall to drive the cars in or out. In other words, stop moving my seat back! I'm 5'7" and don't mash myself up against the steering wheel, so it's not like they simply can't fit.

[DeLurker]

On 10/24/2016 at 8:06 PM, bilgistic said:

My mom's been  s l o w l y  trying to get rid of old stuff for several years. Like, she gave me my high school dance team uniforms. And letter jacket. And prom dresses.

I read this late the night you posted it and somehow your mom had kept, but now returning, you porn dresses.

[ABay]

6 hours ago, DeLurker said:

Since it is your birthday, shouldn't they have asked and not told you what was going to happen?  By they I mean Sober Sis.

YES! That was my first reaction to your post, too, @bilgistic. Why should you feel anything but irritation that Sober Sis decided to invite herself and others to your house for your birthday? It's your birthday, she didn't ask you, and how fucking dare she decide how you should celebrate your birthday? And did I read it correctly that she was expecting you to provide lunch rather than forcing you to accompany them to lunch? What an asshole.

[bilgistic]

Oh, I love y'all! We were all going to meet at a restaurant "of my choosing". But see, that's not really going to work because I'm a vegetarian who can't really eat dairy; I usually eat ethnic food on my own. My dad's got to have something American and dead to eat. Mom will eat most stuff. My sister will passive-agressively eat wherever we decide. She'll get a bowl of plain lettuce and a roll, declaring she's "not hungry". Sober sis (sort of vegetarian) will go along with whatever, BUT her kids would be there--sullen 14- and 17-year-old girls. Good luck with that!

Anxiety from the word go, I tell you. Thank god I got out of it.

[BooksRule]

Quote

My peeve for this day is the transition of the holiday season from Halloween to Christmas. Actually it's the lack of transition.  I HATE seeing all of the Christmas merchandise out on the shelves while shopping for Halloween candy and do not appreciated "the holiday season" beginning on my birthday (the day after Halloween).

I'm sure I've posted this somewhere before, but I remember going into Wal-Mart a few years ago and as I was heading through the 'seasonal' area, I heard a couple of people laughing and stopped to see what they were laughing at.  There was one of those almost-life-sized animatronic-type witches (in the Halloween display) laughing and cackling all witchy-like.  Right across the aisle from her was an animatronic Santa (in the Christmas display) who was dancing and singing a Christmas carol.  It's like they were trying to drown each other out.  A few other people came up and we all just stood there and laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

[TattleTeeny]

I have to confess, I really don't care how early Christmas stuff is displayed (though I admit to getting far more disproportionately annoyed at lesser evils). What I am not looking forward to is the dumb, damn, completely nonsensical Facebook memes (posted by those with false persecution complexes) declaring "It's not 'happy holidays,' it's 'merry Christmas'!"

Edited October 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Maizie131]

On 10/24/2016 at 5:24 PM, PradaKitty said:

My peeve for this day is the transition of the holiday season from Halloween to Christmas. Actually it's the lack of transition.  I HATE seeing all of the Christmas merchandise out on the shelves while shopping for Halloween candy and do not appreciated "the holiday season" beginning on my birthday (the day after Halloween).  Thanksgiving and fall are totally lost these days, since we're all busy celebrating Christmas all day every day from November 1 - December 26...

Couldn't agree with you more, Pradakitty.  Looking at my channel line-up, starting tomorrow (October 28th) @ 10pm the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel will be showing ONLY Christmas movies 24/7.  Arghhhh!!  For me, that means no more Matlock, Columbo & Diagnosis Murder until fricking January!  (Tho I did find a few here & there on other channels.)  Almost two full months of nothing but Christmas movies?!?  This really pisses me off.  I own about 10-15 Christmas movies that I start watching on Thanksgiving...not a day before! 

Edited October 27, 2016 by Maizie131

[TattleTeeny]

OH NO! OK, that Hallmark thing is a peeve. In fact, it's much bigger than a peeve! No, no, no! I "use" Hallmark to get to sleep at night to Frasier and The Golden Girls, etc.--you know, the perfect blend of entertaining enough that I like it, but familiar enough that I don't need to stay awake to see what happens. When Hallmark does this, it throws off my whole life!

Edited October 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Qoass]

The Everything Else topic is now in alphabetical order within the Off Topic listings.  That soothes my picky soul.

[TattleTeeny]

Another workplace (or anywhere, really) peeve: People who clearly hear you say words--good morning, hey, hi, whatever--and do not acknowledge you at all. You know what? Fuck you. Same goes for managers who don't feel like dealing with something so they simply just don't answer your e-mail. OK, then, fine--I am leaving early today whether you like it or not; I asked, you ignored. So you also get a "fuck you" (and you get two "fuck you"s when you ignore a question that directly pertains to me getting my work done effectively, you jerk!).

Actually I have noticed that a few people I know (my own BF included) tend to not reply at all (in conversation or via e-mail/text) if they just don't know the answer to something. Infuriating and rude. I am coming to terms with the idea that maybe there are people in this world that are, simply put, easy to ignore. Damn--I always hoped that the power of invisibility would be more fun...

Edited October 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[rcc]

I always look for eye contact before I say Good Morning to anyone. If I do and they don't respond then I say to myself, or more to the point to them because I know they can hear me, thank you. lol

[Maizie131]

3 hours ago, rcc said:

I always look for eye contact before I say Good Morning to anyone. If I do and they don't respond then I say to myself, or more to the point to them because I know they can hear me, thank you. lol

rcc - I wish I could send your post to at least 3 stores -- Rite-Aid, Meijer and Kroger.  Just about every time I go to these stores, there's a "greeter."  Can I say now how much I hate "greeters?"?!?!  I'm shopping because I need something....I'm a woman on a mission & I don't want to be there but I MUST be there to get what I need.  My brain (and my handwritten notes when I have them) tell me to go forth and find as quickly as possible & get the fuck OUT of there!  I've got stuff to do and people to see....whatever.  When you interrupt my "train of thought" as I'm rushing in with what I need to buy with your smiley, cheerful,  "Good Morning!!!" & I must look to see who is talking to me & it turns out to be a stranger I've never met in my life -- it pisses me off BIG-TIME!  My thoughts are gone.  Unless I make eye contact with you FIRST, please do not talk to me! 

[topanga]

On 10/26/2016 at 10:24 AM, bilgistic said:

I was overreacting. Seems my sister and mother are fine w/my not wanting to do anything on Sunday. I need Sundays to vegetate and mentally prepare for the week ahead.

My other sister, the "sober" one (who, by the way, works as a bartender; did I mention that?), posted a picture of us as children on Instagram and tagged me (me as a horribly awkward nine-year-old, sporting a short Farrah Fawcett 'do--I don't know, either), which means that now her forty-leven "followers" (read: high school "friends") will now know who I am and ask to follow me, too, like they do on Facebook. Lots of blocking coming up.

Ah, I'll bet you were really cute. But yeah, get your "blocking" finger ready.

I know we've had many discussions on this thread about social media. But I still don't understand why people try to friend me when they never talked to me in elementary school, high school, college, etc. Is it about acquiring as many online friends as possible? 

 

I don't know if this is a pet peeve, but it must suck to be old and alone. And the thought of it really scares me. I just got off the phone with my husband's grandmother (age 99) who lives about 1000 miles away from us with her oldest son. She used to live in the town next to us, but she moved to Louisiana when her daughter died two years ago--my mother-in-law. She moved in with her son and his wife, and she was actually closer to her DIL than she was her own son. But then a year ago her DIL died. So now she's essentially alone. I mean, she lives with her son, but they aren't close. And she has health issues, so she can't get around to make new friends in Louisiana. All of her friends and family are in the town where she used to live, and she speaks to them on the phone, but now they're starting to die off, too. 

People celebrate her for being 99, but I can't imagine what it must be like for her now that the people she loves are dying one after another. I wish I could do something to help her. 

And that makes me wonder what my life will be like when I get older (shallow, I know). I mean, I don't have that many friends now, and I'm only in my mid-40s. I don't like talking on the phone, so I don't reach out to long-distance friends and family too often unless it's by text or e-mail. My marriage is iffy. I get along well with my kids, but it's wrong to rely on them for companionship. Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends. Maybe I should have friended some of those high school frenemies after all. 

*sigh* It's raining outside. Maybe that's why I'm being so gloomy and pessimistic. 

[Qoass]

Quote

And that makes me wonder what my life will be like when I get older (shallow, I know). I mean, I don't have that many friends now, and I'm only in my mid-40s. I don't like talking on the phone, so I don't reach out to long-distance friends and family too often unless it's by text or e-mail. My marriage is iffy. I get along well with my kids, but it's wrong to rely on them for companionship. Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends. Maybe I should have friended some of those high school frenemies after all. 

I think that way too.  All the time.

[backformore]

17 minutes ago, topanga said:

And my only friends will be my cyber-friends.

Hey!  Don't underestimate us!  we're great friends.  We're here if you need us, but won't guilt-trip you if you ignore us.  We don't judge you by your appearance, only by your avatar - and your words.   If you don't like me, you can put me on "ignore"  and I'll never know, so I won't be pissed.  You never have to have us over for dinner, and we won't invite you to boring parties either.  We won't ask why you're not married, or still married, when your kids are going to straighten out, or push you to cut your hair, get a better job, decorate your house.  We don't care!   that's what makes us great friends.

[Moose135]

55 minutes ago, topanga said:

Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends. Maybe I should have friended some of those high school frenemies after all. 

We'll still be your friends, topanga.

[ABay]

2 hours ago, topanga said:

Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends.

Not seeing the problem here. 

[Bastet]

You beat me to it, ABay; I was going to say it sounds like a nice retirement plan.

[TattleTeeny]

3 hours ago, topanga said:

Ah, I'll bet you were really cute. But yeah, get your "blocking" finger ready.

I know we've had many discussions on this thread about social media. But I still don't understand why people try to friend me when they never talked to me in elementary school, high school, college, etc. Is it about acquiring as many online friends as possible? 

 

I don't know if this is a pet peeve, but it must suck to be old and alone. And the thought of it really scares me. I just got off the phone with my husband's grandmother (age 99) who lives about 1000 miles away from us with her oldest son. She used to live in the town next to us, but she moved to Louisiana when her daughter died two years ago--my mother-in-law. She moved in with her son and his wife, and she was actually closer to her DIL than she was her own son. But then a year ago her DIL died. So now she's essentially alone. I mean, she lives with her son, but they aren't close. And she has health issues, so she can't get around to make new friends in Louisiana. All of her friends and family are in the town where she used to live, and she speaks to them on the phone, but now they're starting to die off, too. 

People celebrate her for being 99, but I can't imagine what it must be like for her now that the people she loves are dying one after another. I wish I could do something to help her. 

And that makes me wonder what my life will be like when I get older (shallow, I know). I mean, I don't have that many friends now, and I'm only in my mid-40s. I don't like talking on the phone, so I don't reach out to long-distance friends and family too often unless it's by text or e-mail. My marriage is iffy. I get along well with my kids, but it's wrong to rely on them for companionship. Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends. Maybe I should have friended some of those high school frenemies after all. 

*sigh* It's raining outside. Maybe that's why I'm being so gloomy and pessimistic. 

I think about this shit all the time--along with "will I have enough money?" (and countless ridiculous things s well). Logic says the BF is going to kick it before I will (though who really knows?). Someone recently posted an article on FB about old-people communal living with friends and I actually thought it seemed awesome in theory. However, I didn't read far enough to see how that gets put into motion, haha!

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

I think about this shit all the time--along with "will I have enough money?" (and countless ridiculous things s well). Logic says the BF is going to kick it before I will (though who really knows?). Someone recently posted an article on FB about old-people communal living with friends and I actually thought it seemed awesome in theory. However, I didn't read far enough to see how that gets put into motion, haha!

Google senior cohousing. It sounds awful to me right now, but maybe when I'm old and possibly alone it will sound better.

[TattleTeeny]

Yeah, I don't want it now either. But I feel like the idea of being a boozy old broad with some of the friends I've had for decades doesn't seem so bad at all!

[bilgistic]

11 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Same goes for managers who don't feel like dealing with something so they simply just don't answer your e-mail. OK, then, fine--I am leaving early today whether you like it or not; I asked, you ignored. So you also get a "fuck you" (and you get two "fuck you"s when you ignore a question that directly pertains to me getting my work done effectively, you jerk!).

If at all possible, I give plenty of notice for when I need to be off. My "boss" rarely responds to my requests. OK then, I assume it's fine. I remind him the week and day of that I'm going to be out. Tough shit if he didn't speak up. And it drives him and the other guy on our team crazy to not know where I'm going/what I'm doing when I'm off. They will seriously try to guess where I'm going. How about it's none of your goddamned business?

6 hours ago, Maizie131 said:

rcc - I wish I could send your post to at least 3 stores -- Rite-Aid, Meijer and Kroger.  Just about every time I go to these stores, there's a "greeter."  Can I say now how much I hate "greeters?"?!?!  I'm shopping because I need something....I'm a woman on a mission & I don't want to be there but I MUST be there to get what I need.  My brain (and my handwritten notes when I have them) tell me to go forth and find as quickly as possible & get the fuck OUT of there!  I've got stuff to do and people to see....whatever.  When you interrupt my "train of thought" as I'm rushing in with what I need to buy with your smiley, cheerful,  "Good Morning!!!" & I must look to see who is talking to me & it turns out to be a stranger I've never met in my life -- it pisses me off BIG-TIME!  My thoughts are gone.  Unless I make eye contact with you FIRST, please do not talk to me! 

There are "security guards" posted in different parts of my office building, and every morning, the same poor security schmo says "Good morning!" to me, as I drag my ass into the building. I can only imagine what he thinks about me as I look like I've been beaten down and I'm walking the green mile. I feel rude not giving him at least a head nod, but seriously, I'd rather no one spoke to me before 11.

6 hours ago, topanga said:

Maybe I'll wind up an Internet hermit with 10 cats. And a dog. And my only friends will be my cyber-friends.

Except for the dog, this is pretty much my life's goal.

Edited October 28, 2016 by bilgistic

[ParadoxLost]

11 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Same goes for managers who don't feel like dealing with something so they simply just don't answer your e-mail. OK, then, fine--I am leaving early today whether you like it or not; I asked, you ignored. So you also get a "fuck you" (and you get two "fuck you"s when you ignore a question that directly pertains to me getting my work done effectively, you jerk!).

Actually I have noticed that a few people I know (my own BF included) tend to not reply at all (in conversation or via e-mail/text) if they just don't know the answer to something. Infuriating and rude. I am coming to terms with the idea that maybe there are people in this world that are, simply put, easy to ignore. Damn--I always hoped that the power of invisibility would be more fun...

 I say this as someone who manages people.  I get at least 250 emails a day (and that is the low side) and most of them need a response of some sort from me. I also have conference calls for 50- 80% of the day. There are not enough damn hours in the day to even read them all much less do my actual work.

I've taken to at least sorting all my direct reports and scanning to find the stuff they need an answer to at least once a day.. But I've also told them if you need something, you are sitting five feet away, speak to me or IM me.  I am not ignoring you, I need you to let me know that I need to find your message in the infinite pile if its urgent.

People at my company need some electronic communication etiquette.  I personally think email is a way for a bunch of very busy people to wash their hands of any responsibility by shoving it into someone else's inbox so its not their problem if it gets lost in the heap.  If its one person doing it, its not so much of a problem.  If its everyone doing it then its a problem.

I think people are unreasonable in assuming that they are the center of my electronic universe and take it personally when I can't make a hundred things a priority at the same time.  Rise to the top by picking up the phone.

[Maizie131]

19 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

Bilgistic - I tried to copy your quote but I must've screwed up.  In any event, I absolutely LOVE the very last line of your post, and can identify to the nth degree! Tho (apparently) it's OK for me to be somewhat rude to my "fellow man" first thing in the a.m.,  when my sweet Maizie (see avatar) comes up to me before I've even had my first cigarette (!!!) & cup of coffee, I welcome her with kisses, tell her how much I love her & pet her belly for 5 minutes. 

[Bastet]

Oh, the rules are totally different for pets.  Riley really only wakes up when I move, but if I want to go right back to sleep and she wants attention instead, she may get a whiny, "Riley, it's still sleepy time" but then she gets kisses and snuggles.  If a person wants my attention before I've woken up and decided to stay that way?  There will be no kissing or snuggling, that's for sure.

And, unless the building is on fire, the Chairperson of the Board is waiting in my office, or the Supreme Court has just handed down a ruling that affects half my cases, DO NOT accost me as I'm walking through the door.  Combining my two greatest peeves - people, and mornings - is unpleasant.  I want to put my stuff down, turn on my computer, check my messages, and come to terms with the fact I'm working out of the office today rather than from home.  Then speaking to me will result in more than a grunt. 

[Maizie131]

2 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Oh, the rules are totally different for pets.  Riley really only wakes up when I move, but if I want to go right back to sleep and she wants attention instead, she may get a whiny, "Riley, it's still sleepy time" but then she gets kisses and snuggles.  If a person wants my attention before I've woken up and decided to stay that way?  There will be no kissing or snuggling, that's for sure.

And, unless the building is on fire, the Chairperson of the Board is waiting in my office, or the Supreme Court has just handed down a ruling that affects half my cases, DO NOT accost me as I'm walking through the door.  Combining my two greatest peeves - people, and mornings - is unpleasant.  I want to put my stuff down, turn on my computer, check my messages, and come to terms with the fact I'm working out of the office today rather than from home.  Then speaking to me will result in more than a grunt. 

LOL!  Sooooo true, Bastet!  (BTW, Maizie's BEST FRIEND is another mini-Goldendoodle who lives 4 houses away -- his name is RILEY!)

[bilgistic]

24 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

 I say this as someone who manages people.  I get at least 250 emails a day (and that is the low side) and most of them need a response of some sort from me. I also have conference calls for 50- 80% of the day. There are not enough damn hours in the day to even read them all much less do my actual work.

I've taken to at least sorting all my direct reports and scanning to find the stuff they need an answer to at least once a day.. But I've also told them if you need something, you are sitting five feet away, speak to me or IM me.  I am not ignoring you, I need you to let me know that I need to find your message in the infinite pile if its urgent.

People at my company need some electronic communication etiquette.  I personally think email is a way for a bunch of very busy people to wash their hands of any responsibility by shoving it into someone else's inbox so its not their problem if it gets lost in the heap.  If its one person doing it, its not so much of a problem.  If its everyone doing it then its a problem.

I think people are unreasonable in assuming that they are the center of my electronic universe and take it personally when I can't make a hundred things a priority at the same time.  Rise to the top by picking up the phone.

I don't disagree with you, and I think there is WAY too much emailing going on, but my boss will tell me that I'm not "communicating with him effectively", no matter what method I use. I try not to email him unless I know he will need to refer back to it. We haved shared files that he can find; I don't need to email him to tell him I did xyz. He can trust after 2.5 years (though he doesn't, but that's his problem) that I did it. We have IM, but he won't read it if he's on the phone, which is most of the time. When I try to tell him something using my voice, he's distracted. At some point, I realized it's disrespect for others and narcissism on his part. Nothing's more important than what he has going on.

On the flipside of that, there's a brownnoser in another office that WILL NOT email me, despite me asking her several times to do so. She calls because it looks like action to the people who are always on the phone. In reality, she shoves off her work on me. I NEED emails for the work I do (writing and coordinating); it's detailed and I am often asked to prove if I did this or that.

[Moose135]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

There are "security guards" posted in different parts of my office building, and every morning, the same poor security schmo says "Good morning!" to me, as I drag my ass into the building. I can only imagine what he thinks about me as I look like I've been beaten down and I'm walking the green mile. I feel rude not giving him at least a head nod, but seriously, I'd rather no one spoke to me before 11.

You could always use the response I do from time to time: "We'll change that in a hurry, won't we?"

Edited October 28, 2016 by Moose135

[AgentRXS]

Here we go again with the news outlets over exaggerating a weather event. Last week and this week  we have  a "cool front" that has dropped the temperature down from its usual scorching 90 degrees to an average of around 80 degrees during the day/70 at night.  When reporting the weather tonight, the news reporter was talking about making sure your heaters were working, that everyone should be stocked up on soup, and that officials were considering opening "cold weather" shelters at night for the homeless.  All this drama for 70 degree weather.  You would think the Great Blizzard of 2016 was about to hit South FL the way they carried on. Insane. And of course they keep saying "Enjoy it! It won't last long!". I know that, asshole. I lived here my whole life and am aware how Florida winters work.

Oh and speaking of the homeless. There  is this one beggar I see daily on my commute to work.  Now don't get me wrong, I do feel sorry for the homeless, and  by the amount of track lines on this guys arms, I am certain his homelessness is due to addiction, which is sad . Anyway, lately most commuters have been driving with their windows rolled down to enjoy the cool breeze. This guy has taken to sticking leaninng all the way  inside people's cars when they are stopped at the red light  to beg for money. I've seen people push his arm out of their car and his body away from their vehicle, and he moves on unfazed to the next car. Most beggars politely walk with their cardboard signs in and out of the intersection-not this guy. He walked past my car yesterday during my commute and looked like he was ready to lean in.I give good resting bitch face, and as  he walked toward my car and I gave him a look like "Don't even fucking try it" and picked up my phone like I was ready to call the police. He luckily kept walking. I really hope enough people complain about his invasion of privacy to the cops and they get him off the streets, at least for a short while. Knowing this city, not gonna happen.

[zxy556575]

Ya know, just because I admire someone or think they're good looking, be it celebrity or real life acquaintance, does not mean I'm sexually attracted to them. I can have a crush on someone of the same sex without it being sexual. Get your mind out of the gutter, world!

Sorry, random brain regurgitation.

3 hours ago, AgentRXS said:

When reporting the weather tonight, the news reporter was talking about making sure your heaters were working, that everyone should be stocked up on soup, and that officials were considering opening "cold weather" shelters at night for the homeless.  All this drama for 70 degree weather.

I've been in central Florida for six years and have never turned on the furnace. For those few nights when it's literally frosty out, I put on a sweater or use my electric blanket. But yeah. Here in Olde Towne the parkas and scarves (I've even seen mittens) come out at anything below 70.

[bmasters9]

21 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

So you also get a "fuck you" (and you get two "fuck you"s when you ignore a question that directly pertains to me getting my work done effectively, you jerk!)

Sounds like, at least to me, a manager who expects you to get something done, but won't tell you how to do it, so you get it done the best way you know how, only to have that manager scream at you that you were supposed to get it done another way. If it were that, I'd feel the same way, except that I'd be more "smoke you!" instead of "______ you!"

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

I say this as someone who manages people.  I get at least 250 emails a day (and that is the low side) and most of them need a response of some sort from me. I also have conference calls for 50- 80% of the day. There are not enough damn hours in the day to even read them all much less do my actual work.

I'd cut him slack if this were even remotely the case. It is so incredibly not. We just have a tons of super-disorganized people in this place, and he's one of them.

To be fair, and on the bright side, he doesn't care what I do. He has no doubts that I do my work on time and well, and never micro-manages me ever (and he knows that, with 20 vacation days and 5 sick, I'm sometimes going to be random and spur-of-the-moment about it; I know our production schedule and when is OK to not show up, haha!).

The downside to that, though, is that in the instances when I have run into the proverbial wall, and cannot move further in my work because I am lacking some pertinent information (like, absolutely cannot, as in I have exhausted all avenues to which I have access in order to find what I need; I never bother asking a thing of anyone until I run out of options), he is still too hands-off. Sometimes I just need a higher-up to step in and force an issue* so that I can do a good job, and I can't get that. Same with when I raise a complaint; he's "spoiled" in the sense that he knows I do not like leaving things unfinished or unpolished and, I guess, assumes that I'll effectively work it out myself. I mean, thanks and all. But when I do ask for help, it's because I actually do need it!

* Not enough people here know this about me--that I won't ask until I have run out of "leads" on my own--and I think they think that all I ever do is ask before I try (projection? I think so!). It's so not true, man, and it's very frustrating. Not to mention that all of my requests stem from one particular department repeatedly and consistently not supplying me with what I need (even though they are by now very familiar with what I need--they just don't feel like getting it!). Sometimes my asking gets me not the answers I need, but instead access to resources to get them myself. Fine in theory, but in reality it's just more work that I now have to do because someone else "won't." I will never understand the "explanation" that I have to do pieces of other people's jobs simply because they "won't." WTF? So that's another thing about my manager (who is great in other ways): he's a bit of a yes-man who's not willing to rock a boat. To other departments here, it may look like ours (creative team) can do anything no matter how tight a deadline; to us though, it feels like he isn't willing to stick up for his own department.

Yikes, sorry for the TL;DR!

Edited October 28, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Sounds like, at least to me, a manager who expects you to get something done, but won't tell you how to do it, so you get it done the best way you know how, only to have that manager scream at you that you were supposed to get it done another way.

Haha--very close! No one yells here though (I mean, I do, but I'm not a manager). 

While my manager lets me do stuff how I want it for the most part, other departments here do not tell you what they need (again, I'm in creative--writing and editing. The rest of my department is design). So, these other departments--promotions and customer relations--want correspondence and event posters/flyers/e-mails, etc., but they have no idea how they want it done! They're not well versed in writing or in design. And they all think that the best approach is trial and error! Oh my goodness, no. Without tight deadlines, fine. But with them? No way--there's no time! I mean, "Hi, I know this is last minute but could you write up an e-mail blast ASAP about this event for which we don't know how to spell the guest's name...or what will happen there...or the time...or the incentive deal yet? Oh, and we don't know if we want an "every guy" style of writing or something more upscale, so just see what you come up with and show us...and then we'll send it back 10 times asking for something different (i.e, what we don't want as opposed to what we do want) instead of conveying what we'd like before you stop your real job to help us out at 4:45pm, an hour before this thing must be sent out."

See? DISORGANIZED! 

Quote

On the flipside of that, there's a brownnoser in another office that WILL NOT email me, despite me asking her several times to do so. She calls because it looks like action to the people who are always on the phone. In reality, she shoves off her work on me. I NEED emails for the work I do (writing and coordinating); it's detailed and I am often asked to prove if I did this or that.

Oh my god, right there with you! I have many things to do/write/edit/proof--if you run up to my desk while I am doing something else and say, "We need you to change this to that, and on page 12, add this and take away that..." it's just not effective! E-mail me--I mean, what is easier than e-mail? I have it in writing (also great for the "CYA" aspect, thank you) and won't have to ask again later. But it's as if everyone here thinks I'm doing only work for them--I'm sitting doing nothing until this person wants something! 

We also have a designer here who will walk over to answer me after I have sent an e-mail or an IM! NO, NO, NO! Get the hell away from me with your timid tippy-toeing up behind my chair and simply type a reply! She's nuts anyway--she blesses herself when she sneezes and tee-hees all day at a podcast of some kind in between coughing fits. She also gives me nearly empty pages to edit. WTF, lady?!

Quote

Ya know, just because I admire someone or think they're good looking, be it celebrity or real life acquaintance, does not mean I'm sexually attracted to them. I can have a crush on someone of the same sex without it being sexual. Get your mind out of the gutter, world!

Exactly! I feel bad when my BF thinks I "like" some guy because I notice that he's objectively good-looking. He's only half-kidding when he mentions it, you know (though he thinks he's coming off as completely kidding)? Obviously if my friend has a new guy, I am going to say, "Yes, he's very cute," whether I mean it or not--and yes, there are attractive (again, objectively) celebrities just because they are, which doesn't mean I am attracted to them. For example, Brad Pitt...and Ryan Reynolds and Jensen Ackles and Christian Bale, are "meh" to me, even though I totally understand their appeal to others! And as far as same-sex, yes to that too--Sheri Moon Zombie for one (who is incidentally married to the most attractive of celebrities, and my sweet baby!).

Edited October 28, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

Do we work in the same office, @TattleTeeny? I do the same kind of work, and my office has the same issues yours does.

I understand some people get too many emails, although some of them could resolve their issues by cleaning out the mailbox once in a while, but I prefer to use email for important things so I have a written trail of what was approved and what was asked. I've been burned too many times. If it is really important, I will give the person a call about the email I sent, but I hate it when people do that to me. I saw the email. Don't waste my time on the phone. (I hate the phone.)

When I was in a newspaper newsroom and got thousands of emails a day -- most of them junk, but I still had to check to be sure because a lot were news items from local groups or individuals -- I still was able to stay on top of it and answer them relatively quickly. At least within the day, immediately if necessary. And I still had tons of other writing, editing, page design and layout and oh my God the meetings. (Meetings are way worse than emails as time-sucks.) You have to check more than once or twice a day. It has to be part of your job, not something that is in addition to your job. So I am pretty sure the people I know in my building who say they just can't keep up could do it. They just don't want to try.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

Do we work in the same office, @TATTLETEENY? I do the same kind of work, and my office has the same issues yours does.

I wish! But as it is, I am the sole writer/editor here (though we have other writers...who are awful). So, yay--I simultaneously get to do even the most basic of writing (really? You need me to help you say "Buy This, Get That Free"?) while also being told I am doing shit wrong because they kind of don't understand proper grammar and usage (used to have an exec who crossed out apostrophes because she didn't like how they looked). Makes me wish I worked in real publishing as opposed to a business that publishes.

[BooksRule]

Quote

I understand some people get too many emails, although some of them could resolve their issues by cleaning out the mailbox once in a while, but I prefer to use email for important things so I have a written trail of what was approved and what was asked. I've been burned too many times.

I have a pet peeve with people who don't clean out the inboxes regularly.  Most of the time when asked about it, they say 'I'm too busy'.  It makes me want to say that I manage to keep mine cleaned out.  Does that mean that you're busier than I am?  Sometimes there are messages that I know I'll probably delete soon, I have to leave them for a little while until I can read them more carefully.  Those are usually moved into a folder for later review (and I clean out those folders every month or so).  I try very hard to keep only a few hundred (or less) messages in my main inbox.  However, I'll sometimes ask a co-worker about a message that I sent (that they never acknowledged) and they start looking through their inbox for it.  If I look over their shoulder, I can see that they have thousands upon thousands of messages in their inbox and I can see messages such as 'notice to staff to clean out fridge by Friday [dated three months ago]', 'Bob will be late to work today', etc.  I have one co-worker who is so bad about this, and I hate it when he says 'I can't find it.  Will you re-send it?'  However, I do get amused when he asks me about an e-mail (from days or weeks ago), and I find it in a few seconds, because I know I would need to refer back to it at some point and I've moved it into the properly-named folder.  He looks at me like I've done something miraculous.  It's kind of funny.  

Edited October 28, 2016 by BooksRule

[TattleTeeny]

Why can't people understand that a few seconds NOW can save lots of time LATER?!

[auntlada]

I have thousands of emails, but I read them all when they came in, and I know how to search. I don't keep unread emails, and I don't keep unnecessary emails or spam.

[TattleTeeny]

I end up keeping a lot. That way, when something is incorrect in an editorial sense (and it often is), I can pull it up and say that I merely used the information I was given. Bonus points for pulling up the unanswered sent messages asking for clarification that never came.

[Wiendish Fitch]

I really hate it when I'm driving, someone in a car nearby recognizes me and, instead of just thinking "Huh, small world", proceeds to get my attention by honking loudly and/or repeatedly while I'm driving! Look, I live in area with awful drivers (not that I'm a champ, mind you) and careless pedestrians, I don't feel like getting into an accident because you just had to say hello and distract me! Besides, what the hell do you hope to accomplish? It's not as if I'm going to pull over and have a chat with you, I've got shit to do, leave me alone and keep your eyes on the damn road!

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

I end up keeping a lot. That way, when something is incorrect in an editorial sense (and it often is), I can pull it up and say that I merely used the information I was given. Bonus points for pulling up the unanswered sent messages asking for clarification that never came.

That is exactly why I keep so much stuff. I want proof.

[DeLurker]

I have to buy nails - for the first time in several decades on this planet.  As far as I knew, nails magically appeared in every house I've ever lived in.  The house must be defective.

On top of that, I have discovered there are a zillion different types of nails.  Whenever I needed one before, I just went into the garage and choose from the random selection that was there - big one?  small one?  medium?  All there.

Edited October 28, 2016 by DeLurker

[rcc]

23 hours ago, Maizie131 said:

rcc - I wish I could send your post to at least 3 stores -- Rite-Aid, Meijer and Kroger.  Just about every time I go to these stores, there's a "greeter."  Can I say now how much I hate "greeters?"?!?!  I'm shopping because I need something....I'm a woman on a mission & I don't want to be there but I MUST be there to get what I need.  My brain (and my handwritten notes when I have them) tell me to go forth and find as quickly as possible & get the fuck OUT of there!  I've got stuff to do and people to see....whatever.  When you interrupt my "train of thought" as I'm rushing in with what I need to buy with your smiley, cheerful,  "Good Morning!!!" & I must look to see who is talking to me & it turns out to be a stranger I've never met in my life -- it pisses me off BIG-TIME!  My thoughts are gone.  Unless I make eye contact with you FIRST, please do not talk to me! 

The only time I've ever seen a store greeter around here has been Walmart. He's a semi-retired gentleman who sometimes seems to love his job, but most of the time not so much. lol

[bmasters9]

On 10/20/2016 at 0:22 AM, bilgistic said:

Broccoli is downright delightful.*

*I don't like raw broccoli. I do like it cooked in pasta dishes, stir fry, veggie pita pockets, what have you!

Broccoli is something I like cooked and raw; it's a lot better to me than green beans.

[ParadoxLost]

3 hours ago, bmasters9 said:

Broccoli is something I like cooked and raw; it's a lot better to me than green beans.

Cooked broccoli is something my friends' mother made me eat when I was a child.  No one ever made me eat it again after I vomited on my dinner plate.

This morning I had the audacity to drive the speed limit in consideration that it was pitch black outside.

This other car decides they are in such a rush that its ok to flash their high beams multiple times, blinding me, so they can pass. 

Now I, thinking better of people that they deserve as a kneejerk reaction, thought they were trying to do some good deed like tell me my trunk was open or something until the car in the other lane gave them a narrow opening to make a reckless pass.

Here is the thing about me.  I think the best of people but when I'm proven wrong I can be kind of an ass about it.  That pass only got him in front of me instead of behind and I had high beams too.

Edited October 29, 2016 by ParadoxLost

[bilgistic]

13 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I wish! But as it is, I am the sole writer/editor here (though we have other writers...who are awful). So, yay--I simultaneously get to do even the most basic of writing (really? You need me to help you say "Buy This, Get That Free"?) while also being told I am doing shit wrong because they kind of don't understand proper grammar and usage (used to have an exec who crossed out apostrophes because she didn't like how they looked). Makes me wish I worked in real publishing as opposed to a business that publishes.

We co-listed a property with another office, the staff of which handled the marketing pieces, rewriting my work and rejecting my edits of their draft. They claimed to all have English degrees and/or were "children of teachers", etc. I had to tell one of them how to punctuate. "[Boss's name] doesn't like those kinds of commas; they're optional." Say what, now?

The marketing email I saw today read in big, bold letters: FULLY-LEASED INDUSTRIAL.

No hyphen after "ly" adverbs!!! Industrial...what??? Everything went dim after that.

My boss is a jackass, but he can at least complete a sentence. Good luck to him selling that property with that bunch of slack-jawed yokels!

[TattleTeeny]

Thank you!

[auntlada]

I'd like an Industrial. (I am assuming it's a proper name. It is hard to tell with all caps.) I'd also like to know what a fully is. Or is that someone's name?

That's the sort of smartalecky thing I'm inclined to say to people who send me badly written text.

I'm also often tempted to tell people their programs aren't that important while I am busy lower-casing everything.

Edited October 29, 2016 by auntlada