Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[bilgistic]

56 minutes ago, backformore said:

Today's pet peeve - I went to Whole Foods to get some chicken to cook for dinner.   Whole Foods is an  expensive store, it's not my regular grocery store, but I do stop in sometimes for meat or produce, or for a treat.
The bulk food aisle had some chocolates in bins, I wanted a few.  The bins are stacked, from the floor to about 5 bins high.   I see a dad shopping, and his daughter is sitting on the floor, eating out of the bin of chocolate peanut butter cups, the lowest bin.     That's what I wanted!   and now that some grubby-fingered preschooler has put her hands in the bin, I don't want any.   So I said to the dad "hey, she shouldn't be eating out of the bin!"  (there's a sign right there, saying don't put your hands in, use the scoop!  next to the sign saying ASK if you want a sample)   So he says sorry, then grabs a bag and scoops some of the candy into the bag and HANDS it to the kid, sticks her in the cart.    Let me get this straight.   This is a high-priced store, the candy is $12.99 /pound.   I have to pay for mine, but he hands it to his kid, and she proceeds to eat it for FREE! 

This store has samples.  And the employees will let you sample bulk foods if you want. You can ask for samples at the deli, too.   But SAMPLING means try one and see if you like it, not treat the store like an all-you-can-eat buffet.  This kid couldn't have been more than 3 years old.  And she's sitting in the cart with about $5 worth of chocolate peanut butter cups, that she'll eat before dad gets to the checkout, so they're FREE,  while I'm debating whether or not to splurge on candy, and can't even get the kind I want because she stuck her hands in it. 

Sometimes I hate people.
 

Because I'm a bitch who hates children, I would've told the store manager what was happening, right after I'd paid and just before I'd run out of the store to my car so the dad wasn't waiting to murder me while his kid watched.

Thank you for curing me of my addiction to bulk mini chocolate toffee crunch pretzels, by the way.

[zxy556575]

On 5/4/2016 at 10:05 PM, BooksRule said:

 People always seem to run right in front of the danger instead of zigzagging, getting off the road and into the forest, or just moving at a right angle to the danger. I know that it would shorten the story, but it makes the characters look like idiots to me.

Total idiots! That bugs the crap out of me, too. It's right up there with the trip 'n fall while running. The only time I've forgiven a character for not turning to get out of the way is North by Northwest because: open field. Although I think he should have laid down.

[Quof]

Also - when bad guys are trying to catch someone who is walking on the side of the street, the victim tries to outrun the car by running in the same direction.  Didn't their parents teach them to run in the opposite direction, because the car can't back up to chase them??

[DeLurker]

This is for all of you: Serpentine Shel!

Edited May 5, 2016 by DeLurker
Because I was barely functional at linking/embedding before and now PTV has made it worse.

[Bastet]

Museums making almost all their new film exhibits exclusively 3D.  They put together these great films to supplement their new exhibits, or sometimes the film is the exhibit -- and then present them in a format that those of us with (severe to moderate?) motion sickness can't watch.  Thanks a lot.  The federal government conducted a study on motion sickness (or "simulation sickness") brought about by viewing 3D content, and half the subjects experienced it.  That's a lot of people to exclude from what should be a community space. 

(Yes, I know all the tricks.  No, they don't work for me -- at some point, I wind up closing my eyes and just listening.)

[Quof]

You know when someone is expecting something from you.... and they keep asking when they will get it... 

and, in fact, your part is done but you are waiting for someone else to finish their part...

but it would be really inappropriate to throw your colleague under the bus (even if they deserve it)...

Yeah, that's been my week....

[Petunia13]

They might as well rename group or team projects "lets see if the hard workers can influence/rub off on/carry the free loaders & slackers, no one minds right?" 

A woman at work from another dept asked if i had aspirin. She saw i had a bottle of ibuprofen and just started an over night shift after working that busy day. Instead of being a normal person and taking 1 or 2 she grabbed the bottle.  Um no bitch I'm not the free grocery for strangers and I'm obviously headachey and sore. That happened to me before at an old job. I got sent cupcakes and an edible arrangement and my 2 coworkers asked if they could have some and I said sure while I was grooming a dog. Hour later i saw none left. 

[TattleTeeny]

On May 4, 2016 at 0:40 PM, Blergh said:

OK, here's another 'to each their own but. ..' peeve. I don't get why anyone would want to deliberately want to pierce any part of their mouth or nose. Speaking strictly for myself, I need those two parts to talk, eat and breathe with so no sale for me.

I have terrible allergies, always have, and my nose piercing makes it no worse (to be fair, it makes it no better either). If I could have only one piercing on my body, I'd actually ditch the ears and keep the nose; I never change my earrings anyway--not that I really change the nose one, other than to go from hoop to stud once a decade (if you're curious, I find the hoop easier to manage during particularly trying nose-allergy times). That said, I'm not a huge fan of other body piercings, for myself at least.

But I laughed at the "deliberately" part...and then started pondering scenarios in which a piercing is not deliberate! Whatever they are, they're likely very unpleasant for everyone involved!

Edited May 7, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Sandman87]

Reminds me of the time I had a few beers and then got a piercing in a place that no one has ever pierced before or since. The piercing-person (what is the term for that anyway?) was impressed.

[zxy556575]

I watch a lot of talk shows and listen to podcasts which, okay, is on me. What's not is celebrities who are making the rounds to promote something and tell the same "clever" anecdote on every show. Be a professional, be prepared, and expand your damned repertoire! Even if it's someone I like, I'm not their spouse and shouldn't be obliged to listen to the same story 4-5 times.

[TattleTeeny]

11 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

Reminds me of the time I had a few beers and then got a piercing in a place that no one has ever pierced before or since. The piercing-person (what is the term for that anyway?) was impressed.

TELL!

[zxy556575]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

TELL!

That comment from someone with your username made me snort laugh.  :)

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, that name came from an epic dustup from the TWOP days, haha! Is Maharincess is in this thread? She knows all about it!

Edited May 7, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[backformore]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Haha, that name came from an epic dustup from the TWOP days, haha! Is Maharincess is in this thread? She knows all about it!

(ahem)   TELL!  

(Come on, someone had to say it)

[TattleTeeny]

I can--but am I violating anything here? This place is so much more light and fun; I don't wanna get in trouble, haha! Should I hide it in a spoiler? I don't know.

Anyway, there was a poster whose user name was half of my current one, and she would make all kinds of rude, nasty, super-judgy, and incendiary posts until people would just get fed up and respond similarly (I am one of those people, and, yes, I know I should have been above such behavior!). Then she'd edit hers and report everyone else (just something I noticed after getting a warning, and deciding to investigate the complaint thread). I got really mad (I know...) and decided to call her out right in a thread and listed the names of all the fellow posters she told on, like bridge-burning, salt-the-earth style. This became a big old clusterfuck because so many other TWOPers didn't even realize that there was a "report poster" feature and were just truly baffled (I'm sorry if it was any of you guys, oh my god). I got nabbed by a mod--deservedly, but I just didn't care at that point, and that mod was pretty notorious for being difficult, rude, ill-informed, and unfair. I got banned; the other poster did not (that said, I don't think my banning is an example of the mod being unfair). So, I just reregistered with this name so that other poster would see it (again, I know, I know...) and just kept it. Yes, I was for whatever reason over-invested, but, oooh, did she set me off back then! Oh, hot holy hell, imagine if she's here now!

OH! ETA: She also did the same thing with her user name after that. I forget what mine was back then, but she added something like "mean" or "jerk" to it, and now I cannot stop laughing at this shit. Now get back here, Sandman, and spill the beans!

Edited May 7, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[topanga]

23 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

They might as well rename group or team projects "lets see if the hard workers can influence/rub off on/carry the free loaders & slackers, no one minds right?" 

A woman at work from another dept asked if i had aspirin. She saw i had a bottle of ibuprofen and just started an over night shift after working that busy day. Instead of being a normal person and taking 1 or 2 she grabbed the bottle.  Um no bitch I'm not the free grocery for strangers and I'm obviously headachey and sore. That happened to me before at an old job. I got sent cupcakes and an edible arrangement and my 2 coworkers asked if they could have some and I said sure while I was grooming a dog. Hour later i saw none left. 

I hate group projects. 

And I hate when people ask for aspirin when they really mean Ibuprofen or Tylenol (or generic Acetaminophen). My husband does this, and it drives me crazy. In our house, we have Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and Aleve (Naproxen). No aspirin. I'm in the medical field, so I like to use the correct terms when describing medicine and other medical items. So when my husband tells me, "I gave [our son] an aspirin," I ask if him it he gave him an Advil or a Tylenol. and he says he doesn't know. You don't know? Didn't you read the freakin' bottle? You could've been giving him my birth control pills or diabetes medicine (I don't take either. But still). For people like my husband, "aspirin" is a generic term for any kind of pain medicine. But it really isn't. Aspirin a unique medication with its own side effects, adverse reactions, and allergy profile. 

Oh, and I agree with everyone else that the new forums suck. I used to be able to order My Shows so that those with the latest posts/updates would be highest on the list. Can I do that anymore?

[Bastet]

Quote

I used to be able to order My Shows so that those with the latest posts/updates would be highest on the list. Can I do that anymore?

Not yet, but you will -- making it sortable is something that's being worked on.  You can keep up with how the various fixes and customizations are coming along in this thread.

[Sandman87]

11 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

TELL!

Did I forget that part? Pierced my hand: The fleshy muscley bit between the thumb and index finger. Had a post there.

[bilgistic]

29 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

Did I forget that part? Pierced my hand: The fleshy muscley bit between the thumb and index finger. Had a post there.

I'm sorry to tell you I saw that on Amber on Teen Mom. I think she had a dermal implant/surface piercing, though. I don't understand those (I'm partially responding to the post before mine, too)--I don't get how they are done and how they stay in, and how they aren't always horribly infected. I struggle to keep my multiple ear cartilage piercings infection-free.

I guess I could look up how dermal implants/surface piercings are done, but I have only ever wanted/had piercings in places that had...exits...?

Edited May 8, 2016 by bilgistic

[annzeepark914]

27 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

I saw a girl a few weeks ago who had a stud in the back of her neck. It really looked awful and painful, like it was plugging a hole. It was not a medical thing because I asked.

Isn't that sort of Frankenstein-ish?  Sounds as tho' it looked like a bolt.  I can't stand to look at people with pierced lips or tongues because I can almost feel the pain.

[bilgistic]

I just spent 30 minutes watching piercing videos on YouTube. What a fun Saturday night.

The piercers at my local studio are so professional. I really love and trust them.

[TattleTeeny]

The whole dermal thing where the skin "grows" through the little holes in the apparatus creeps me out a little, even though I really like how it looks on the exterior.

[zxy556575]

5 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

I saw a girl a few weeks ago who had a stud in the back of her neck. It really looked awful and painful, like it was plugging a hole. It was not a medical thing because I asked.

Ha! Now I'm imagining how that conversation went. :)

My peeve about body parts/fluids/functions is phlegm. Don't mind anything else (and am kind of fascinated by pus) but if anyone hocks a loogie around me, I'm done. (The human psyche is so weird, I swear.)

I'm also annoyed at my local CVS who decided they're no longer going to be open 24 hours. Screw that! The best part of the day for shopping is between 1-5 am. Wal-Mart had better not get any ideas. They're about 2 miles farther away from me and, okay, their huge parking lot can be a little scary in the middle of the night, but I still prefer that to dealing with crowds.

Edited May 8, 2016 by lordonia

[backformore]

7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I can--but am I violating anything here? This place is so much more light and fun; I don't wanna get in trouble, haha! Should I hide it in a spoiler? I don't know.

Anyway, there was a poster whose user name was half of my current one, and she would make all kinds of rude, nasty, super-judgy, and incendiary posts until people would just get fed up and respond similarly (I am one of those people, and, yes, I know I should have been above such behavior!). Then she'd edit hers and report everyone else (just something I noticed after getting a warning, and deciding to investigate the complaint thread). I got really mad (I know...) and decided to call her out right in a thread and listed the names of all the fellow posters she told on, like bridge-burning, salt-the-earth style. This became a big old clusterfuck because so many other TWOPers didn't even realize that there was a "report poster" feature and were just truly baffled (I'm sorry if it was any of you guys, oh my god). I got nabbed by a mod--deservedly, but I just didn't care at that point, and that mod was pretty notorious for being difficult, rude, ill-informed, and unfair. I got banned; the other poster did not (that said, I don't think my banning is an example of the mod being unfair). So, I just reregistered with this name so that other poster would see it (again, I know, I know...) and just kept it. Yes, I was for whatever reason over-invested, but, oooh, did she set me off back then! Oh, hot holy hell, imagine if she's here now!

OH! ETA: She also did the same thing with her user name after that. I forget what mine was back then, but she added something like "mean" or "jerk" to it, and now I cannot stop laughing at this shit. Now get back here, Sandman, and spill the beans!

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!   I had encountered a poster like that too.   I have no idea if it was the same one, and I can't recall the details.  But she would post something troll-ish, or argumentative, then report others when they responded in kind, and delete or edit her original post.  ARRRGGGGHH!  

What I remember  was watching the "Report"  thread - where poster would report on each other for violating the rules.  And then I would PM people who I thought were being duped like that, and suggest they go back and edit before a mod caught it.  And I made sure they knew WHO was reporting them.

I remember the "Report"  posts would stay until a mod got to it, then the mod would edit it to say "got it".   Once that happened, the original report was deleted, so you couldn't see who was reporting whom.

There was also a poster who didn't like the criticism of The View hosts, so she would instigate an argument just to get the thread closed down.   A bunch of us would PM each other to not respond to her at all - so we would reply to the post before hers, keeping the conversation going as if she hadn't posted at all.

Thanks for explaining the story.

Edited May 8, 2016 by backformore

[backformore]

7 hours ago, topanga said:

 

And I hate when people ask for aspirin when they really mean Ibuprofen or Tylenol (or generic Acetaminophen). My husband does this, and it drives me crazy. In our house, we have Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and Aleve (Naproxen). No aspirin. I'm in the medical field, so I like to use the correct terms when describing medicine and other medical items. So when my husband tells me, "I gave [our son] an aspirin," I ask if him it he gave him an Advil or a Tylenol. and he says he doesn't know. You don't know? Didn't you read the freakin' bottle? You could've been giving him my birth control pills or diabetes medicine (I don't take either. But still). For people like my husband, "aspirin" is a generic term for any kind of pain medicine. But it really isn't. Aspirin a unique medication with its own side effects, adverse reactions, and allergy profile. 

 

YES!    A few years ago I developed a weird allergic reaction to NSAIDs  ibuprofen and naproxen.   When I have a headache I take acetaminophen (Tylenol).  I hate when people use the names interchangeably.   If I ask you for a Tylenol, don't give me Advil and say "it's the same thing".  It's not.

Years ago,  the ads for Advil and Motrin emphasized different things.   I had a friend who insisted that she needed to have on hand both medicines for herself and her daughter (which meant buying the adult version and the liquid of each one)  because "Motrin is for fever, Advil is for pain".  Even when I showed her the label, that they were exactly the same, she insisted that the commercials were pretty clear that Motrin was best for fever, Advil for headache/muscle ache. 

[auntlada]

At the risk of opening a big can of worms, I want to complain about everybody wishing women happy Mother's Day. I have one son. That's it. He can wish me happy Mother's Day. (My husband and my mother can, too.) I'm not anyone else's mother, so please stop telling me, "Happy Mother's Day." It's a day for mothers and their children (or children and their mothers, if you prefer to think of it that way), not for all women and everyone else in the world.

Also, you don't know all those other women. Maybe they don't have children by choice. Maybe they want children but cannot have them. Maybe their children died. If you don't know their situations, it's best to be quiet.

I have a child now, but spent many adult years without one (he was born when I was 43), having to ignore all of that and the Mother's Day sermons, so I like to think I'm a little more sensitive to how women without children feel being wished happy Mother's Day. And it wasn't that I had tried to have children and couldn't or that I had consciously decided not to have any. I just didn't have any. But it still irked being wished happy Mother's Day. I used to take that Sunday in the nursery so I didn't have to sit through all the service stuff.

[Quof]

auntlada, I wish I could like your post more than once.   I have precisely the number of children I always wanted to have - zero.   It doesn't make me sad to be wished Happy Mothers' Day, because my childfree status actually makes me very happy.  But it does weird me out.  It's an occasion that holds no meaning for me.  Would you wish me "Happy Birthday" because you are celebrating the anniversary of your birth?  It's particularly odd that my supermarket was handing out carnations to all females over the age of about 14, wishing them Happy Mothers' Day, on the assumption that most of them were mothers.  

[TattleTeeny]

6 hours ago, backformore said:

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!   I had encountered a poster like that too.   I have no idea if it was the same one, and I can't recall the details.  But she would post something troll-ish, or argumentative, then report others when they responded in kind, and delete or edit her original post.  ARRRGGGGHH!  

What I remember  was watching the "Report"  thread - where poster would report on each other for violating the rules.  And then I would PM people who I thought were being duped like that, and suggest they go back and edit before a mod caught it.  And I made sure they knew WHO was reporting them.

I remember the "Report"  posts would stay until a mod got to it, then the mod would edit it to say "got it".   Once that happened, the original report was deleted, so you couldn't see who was reporting whom.

There was also a poster who didn't like the criticism of The View hosts, so she would instigate an argument just to get the thread closed down.   A bunch of us would PM each other to not respond to her at all - so we would reply to the post before hers, keeping the conversation going as if she hadn't posted at all.

Thanks for explaining the story.

I just never understood why this particular mod didn't see what was happening! And why s/he banned only me in that situation--I'm not upset that there were repercussions for me at all, just that it was only me, man! It was maddening and I clearly lost my shit a little, haha! I wish I could remember what that poster changed her name to (or at least what mine old one was then).

[bilgistic]

As I am childfree by choice, I generally respond to the blanket "Happy Mother's Day" by salesclerks by saying something about how my cat and I appreciate it, or not all women are mothers, etc. But I'm a disagreeable feminist bitch.

As in politics, women's issues = mothers' issues because the two can't be separate under the patriarchy. That's our screwed-up culture.

[harrie]

I guess I'm the odd one out; I'm childless by choice but  don't get offended when wished a happy Mother's Day (or, as a heathen, when someone says they're praying for me or someone I love).  I figure the wisher means well and has no idea whether I have kids or not (or doesn't know I don't believe in prayer), so is playing it safe. Far be it for me to turn down good wishes.

[Quof]

I'm not offended by good wishes.  I'm offended by the presumption.  You're an adult female, you must be a mother. You're Caucasian in North America, you must be Christian and therefore believe in prayer. And Christmas.   How dare you be anything other than the norm?

[bilgistic]

It's just that making blanket statements assuming everyone falls under them negates a lot of peoples' experiences. It's just like saying "women love shopping", "men love sports", and racially charged statements that I won't get into, it's ignorant.

I do realize that most of the poorly paid salesclerks are just made to parrot out whatever their middle-management drones come up with in the spirit of "holiday".

Edited May 8, 2016 by bilgistic

[DisneyBoy]

I have a pet peeve with myself - negativity. It's lurking there to say " Oh this could be BETTER now couldn't it?" when 95% of me is just trying to be in the moment and Happy. Whether it's my work, or a social occasion or a meal I've prepared or a song I'm listening to...can't I just surrender to contentment more often than not? It's a good thing to be critical sometimes but I think I let it seep into too many parts of my life and have been actively trying to shut it down.

Also, colds that linger. Hate that.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DisneyBoy

[Petunia13]

Well people assume if you don't have children you probably have/had a mother so that day may have significance to you too or if you've had a mother figure in your life. It's about celebrating the maternal forces in the world and the love, power, and leadership adult women can provide. 

If a person hasn't experienced any of those things or isn't an agent of that herself or the concept of motherhood is saddening i wish them love and healing. 

But it's good people are celebrating Mothers. To many don't recognize all they do. And they're is a lot of shitty parents out there and shitty children so today can be a reality check and example to step up 

 

sorry in advance if I said a word wrong or grammar error. The time i posted here i was nit picked and some rude passive aggressive comparisons going on and this should be about topics not the posters.     

[harrie]

3 hours ago, Quof said:

I'm not offended by good wishes.  I'm offended by the presumption.  You're an adult female, you must be a mother. You're Caucasian in North America, you must be Christian and therefore believe in prayer. And Christmas.   How dare you be anything other than the norm?

 

3 hours ago, bilgistic said:

It's just that making blanket statements assuming everyone falls under them negates a lot of peoples' experiences. It's just like saying "women love shopping", "men love sports", and racially charged statements that I won't get into, it's ignorant.

I do realize that most of the poorly paid salesclerks are just made to parrot out whatever their middle-management drones come up with in the spirit of "holiday".

I guess I just don't take stuff like that personally - mileage varies, of course.  I agree that making the generalization is ignorant, but most people wishing me a happy Mother's Day are ignorant of my circumstances, preferences, or whatever.

When people have gotten on my case about not having kids, I have taken it personally and never hesitated to make clear that that's all my business, not theirs. When a fellow (woman) guest at a place we were staying noticed I take a lot of pictures and assumed I scrapbook because "women scrapbook," the hub and I laughed and made jokes about that for years - still do.  And I think I've mentioned before that someone once told me it was a shame I'd be going to Hell (because I didn't want to try out their church), since I seemed like such a nice person otherwise.  Maybe because of stuff like that, I just laugh at idiotic comments and assumptions rather than let them get to me.  

If someone made a racially charged, assumptive statement or generalization toward me or someone I love or like or even don't like, that would not be cool. But in my book -- and just in my book, no one else's - that's very different than "Happy Mother's Day"  because the person speaking isn't trying to antagonize me.

Not saying I'm right, or better or worse than anyone who disagrees, just stating my opinion. And now I'm letting it go.

[DeLurker]

22 minutes ago, harrie said:

And I think I've mentioned before that someone once told me it was a shame I'd be going to Hell (because I didn't want to try out their church), since I seemed like such a nice person otherwise.  Maybe because of stuff like that, I just laugh at idiotic comments and assumptions rather than let them get to me.  

Wow.  I probably would have shot back "See ya there" or "Save me a seat".  I don't know what church they went to, but I sure wouldn't want to go there if that person was an accurate representative of their beliefs and attitude.

Thought of y'all when a male news anchor said "Happy Mother's Day" to a male field correspondent during the broadcast (who said "and to you too").

[DisneyBoy]

I just recently watched Mommie Dearest for the first time...so all this chat is interesting, given the various arguments about that movie being either cruel, camp or an icebreaker.

[Petunia13]

Someone I don't know who (i think my mom actually) took the side of Joan over Christina. LOL 

except when it came to 68 yr old Joan replacing her 28 yr old daughter on the soap opera. That was just ridiculous. 

Edited May 8, 2016 by Petunia13

[DisneyBoy]

Yeah, the movie is almost skewed from the perspective of a child - "Mommie is bad and I don't know why" - so you do tend to wonder about Joan's inner demons and sympathize. Which probably wasn't the intended result.

Faye scared the crap out of me though! And it didn't seem unrealistic at all. People really do go that ballistic in real life.

Obviously Christina didn't deserve it...but then, the book and movie tend to make her out to be a revenge-seeking ingrate, which is hard because she was the victim of abuse that clearly felt terrifying to her and which went unchecked for decades. She had every right to speak out in the end...but again, the world didn't see her sympathetically.

And now people laugh about the hanger scene? That's....rough.

[auntlada]

6 hours ago, bilgistic said:

It's just that making blanket statements assuming everyone falls under them negates a lot of peoples' experiences. It's just like saying "women love shopping", "men love sports", and racially charged statements that I won't get into, it's ignorant.

I do realize that most of the poorly paid salesclerks are just made to parrot out whatever their middle-management drones come up with in the spirit of "holiday".

Yeah, the "women do this" and "men do this" statements bother me, too. It's often true that I do like the things that women are listed as liking, but it's not because I'm a woman. I just do. I was once taking a photo of the senior leaders at work and told them all to scoot together. One of the men (a particularly officious and not well-liked one) said something about me being bossy. I said, "I like to call it leadership." Our executive director (a woman) laughed.

2 hours ago, harrie said:

 

And I think I've mentioned before that someone once told me it was a shame I'd be going to Hell (because I didn't want to try out their church), since I seemed like such a nice person otherwise.

That reminds me of a joke in one of the clean joke books I had as a kid. (I collected a lot of them when I was in second or third grade, and our church director of missions and I would trade jokes. He was a really neat guy.) A guy asks another guy where he goes to church, and the second guy says, "(Name the denomination you are -- mine was Baptist)." The first guy says, "Oh, that's that narrow-minded church that thinks no one else is going to heaven." The second guy says, "Oh, I'm more narrow-minded than that. I don't think all of us are going to make it."

[Bastet]

The thought of wishing anyone other than my mom a happy Mother's Day is weird to me, so I'd never do it for that reason alone.  But, beyond that, hell no would I ever say "Happy Mother's Day" to some random woman whose circumstances I don't know -- maybe she's not a mother but wants to be, maybe this is her first Mother's Day without her mom, maybe she opted not to procreate and doesn't appreciate the assumption that every woman of a certain age must have done so.  Etc.  I would not want to inadvertently offend, or especially hurt someone that way, when it's so unnecessary. 

Weird; in ostensibly taking me to the first unread post, the site took me to one several posts down from it, so I didn't realize auntlada had made the same point already.  Sorry.

Edited May 8, 2016 by Bastet

[zxy556575]

19 hours ago, harrie said:

I guess I'm the odd one out; I'm childless by choice but  don't get offended when wished a happy Mother's Day (or, as a heathen, when someone says they're praying for me or someone I love). I figure the wisher means well and has no idea whether I have kids or not (or doesn't know I don't believe in prayer), so is playing it safe. Far be it for me to turn down good wishes.

 

17 hours ago, DisneyBoy said:

I have a pet peeve with myself - negativity. It's lurking there to say " Oh this could be BETTER now couldn't it?" when 95% of me is just trying to be in the moment and Happy.

My sister and I treated ourselves to a nice non-Mothers lunch out on Saturday and I haven't left the house today.

I try to emulate @Harrie and take holiday well-wishers with good cheer, but that trifling non-issue gets under my skin far more than it should, especially at Christmas. You'll find me sitting in the negativity corner with @DisneyBoy.

It's also true that cashiers, clerks, servers and other public-facing employees are required to spout whatever their corporate bosses tell them to, so I really need to stop resenting them personally.

Edited May 9, 2016 by lordonia

[TattleTeeny]

10 hours ago, bilgistic said:

As I am childfree by choice, I generally respond to the blanket "Happy Mother's Day" by salesclerks by saying something about how my cat and I appreciate it, or not all women are mothers, etc. But I'm a disagreeable feminist bitch.

As in politics, women's issues = mothers' issues because the two can't be separate under the patriarchy. That's our screwed-up culture.

I feel like this (along with the "happy holidays vs. Merry Christmas" issue that rears its stupid head every year) is just basically saying the same as, "Have a nice day"--only the day in question may have something attached to it. If someone says, "Happy Mother's Day" to me, even though I'm not a mom, it's just that person telling me to enjoy this day, that happens to be Mother's Day. 

[DeLurker]

Re: Have a nice day

When I was in high school and college I had a friend who would occasionally snarl in response to this Don't tell ME what to do!!!!

Then we would laugh like the obnoxious devil spawn we were. 

It was my reply all text a few weeks ago when our brother ended a family update with Have a great day.

[Wiendish Fitch]

I just say "have a good one". It's casual and doesn't seem to bother anybody. "Have a nice day" sounds phony and passive aggressive (I know a thing or two about passive aggression, I live in the South).

I say "Happy Mother's Day" to my mom and anyone else I know for a fact is a mother. I'm childfree by choice, and while I'm not offended when people say it to me, I do think it's a little ridiculous.

As for "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays"... ugh, I got so weary of debating with myself over that crap, I now just let the customer say whichever first, then follow their lead. I know, that's the coward's way out, but I don't have time to listen to snitty lectures about either one.

 

I truly believe that people nowadays get offended not by everything, but by the wrong things.

[topanga]

17 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Well people assume if you don't have children you probably have/had a mother so that day may have significance to you too or if you've had a mother figure in your life. It's about celebrating the maternal forces in the world and the love, power, and leadership adult women can provide. 

If a person hasn't experienced any of those things or isn't an agent of that herself or the concept of motherhood is saddening i wish them love and healing. 

But it's good people are celebrating Mothers. To many don't recognize all they do. And they're is a lot of shitty parents out there and shitty children so today can be a reality check and example to step up 

 

sorry in advance if I said a word wrong or grammar error. The time i posted here i was nit picked and some rude passive aggressive comparisons going on and this should be about topics not the posters.     

I don't mind random people telling me Happy Mother's Day (I am a mother, but they don't know that). But I'll only say it to women I know are mothers. 

And I really like your choice of words: "the lover, power, and leadership adult women can provide." "if a person hasn't experienced any of those things..I wish them love and healing." 

What I don't like is the blanket assumption that everyone has or had a great mother. Or has a mother, period. So it infuriates me when I hear a pastor or podcast co-host or random person say, "Don't forget to tell your mother you love her." "Call your mother." "None of us would be here without the love of our mothers." That's not always true. Unfortunately, many people have mothers who were abusive, neglectful, or not in their lives at all. How about some qualifications? "For those of us fortunate enough to have good mothers in our lives..." "For those of us who still have mothers..." "If your mother played a role in your life..."  Perhaps a Mother's Day sermon is a good opportunity not just to heap praise on mothers, but also to comfort people who didn't have good mothers--or don't have mothers at all. And yes, someone can say that people with good mothers need to call their mothers. 

Edited May 9, 2016 by topanga

[TattleTeeny]

4 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

As for "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays"... ugh, I got so weary of debating with myself over that crap, I now just let the customer say whichever first, then follow their lead. I know, that's the coward's way out, but I don't have time to listen to snitty lectures about either one.

Oh, bah--it's not a coward's way out; it's just well-wishing words (even if they're "required" or coming out in an autopilot kind of way), and your way is a both friendly and "safe"! It's all so silly, especially when you consider that, semantics-wise, "happy holidays" isn't snubbing Jesus or anything else; rather, it's covering everything from, like, Thanksgiving all the way through New Year's Day! So, hey, efficient too! 

[Petunia13]

A lot of people don't celebrate holidays period so the truly safe or most accepting thing to say is "seasons greetings" 

[TattleTeeny]

Well...for all I care, some deluded soul can say to me, "Happy Fourth of July!" on October 25 and I suppose I'd just thank him for the kind thought. I don't get why people seem to feel that complete strangers are obligated to know what holidays everyone does or doesn't celebrate. How exhausting! To me, whatever holiday well-wishing statement is the equivalent of "have a nice day"...or eight, I guess, if the person happens to say, "Happy Hanukkah." 

Edited May 9, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Quof]

Quote

I don't get why people seem to feel that complete strangers are obligated to know what holidays everyone does or doesn't celebrate

And isn't that the precise point that is being made??? You don't know what holiday a stranger may or may not celebrate, and why should you assume they do exactly what you do?  I don't wish anyone happy birthday when I am celebrating a birthday.