Small Talk: 7th Floor Nurses Station

[GHScorpiosRule]

UPDATE:

 

Hey y'all. FINALLY got the results from part II of the genetic testing for "15 other major cancers that can lead to Breast Cancer" and they were all negative. YAY! BUT, those are the only ones they know about. It's a relief that I tested negative, but I've become paranoid--what with all my other health issues, I'm not going to tempt fate. So if I can manage to do it in the Spring, out go the ovaries, and lopping off the other breast. Because my Nana, who had a mastectomy of one breast...thought everything was fine, only to have the cancer come back 15 years later, when she got the other breast removed.

 

Here's hoping insurance won't balk at it and consider it an "elective" surgery.

[tvgoddess]

Glad that your results came back negative, that's awesome GHSR! As for your future surgeries, yes do whatever gives you peace of mind. I don't think insurance would consider it elective, but you never know with them. In any case, I'm very excited for your continued good health.

[OnceSane]

I love good news! Congrats, GHSR.

[Tiger]

I love good news! Congrats, GHSR.

This, a thousand times this!!!

Edited September 11, 2015 by Tiger

[Sake614]

Yay! I'm so happy for you GHSR!!!!! Now you can breathe again, and then decide when to move forward with the rest of the surgeries. Good luck with the insurance too!

[GHScorpiosRule]

The weirdest things go through my mind...or rather, it's odd how I suddenly remember what today and the rest of this month is to me:

 

I can't believe that on Friday, it will have been a year since I had the biopsy that revealed my Cancer diagnosis. It's weird how I remember exactly what happened that week: Today a year ago, was SUPPOSED to be the biopsy, but the CRA people mucked up the location of the "nodule", so my breast surgeon had her CRA radiologist retake the ultrasound, and by the time the day was over, it was too late for the biopsy, so I had to come back 3 days later...then a week later, 9/24, I got the diagnosis, and then Mastectomy on October 3...I think I'll get drunk on each of those days.

[Sake614]

...I think I'll get drunk on each of those days.

 

 

I think we should all get drunk in your honor! :)

[GHScorpiosRule]

I think we should all get drunk in your honor! :)

 

And since it's a celebration of sorts...I'll be imbibing some Moët Rosé!

[Sake614]

I'm more of a Brut fan myself but since it's your party, Moet Rose for everyone!

 

 

[isalicat]

If you like Moet Rose, you might want to try Schramsberg Blanc de Noir (I hope I'm remembering how to spell that correctly). Its delicious! And perfect for this kind of very wonderful celebration...another year of life is always something to celebrate! YAY!

[dubbel zout]

Have some fried chicken with the champagne. It's a genius combination.

[GHScorpiosRule]

How's this to celebrate my recovery and anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and surgery?

 

My turd of a boss laid me off/fired me (semantics, really) and gave me one month to find a new job because...reasons.  Naming mistakes I'd made when we were part of an old firm from THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO and which I have since improved on.  Also saying that I "suck" (euphemism for a fuck up, terrible, etc.) when cite checking (lawyers here will know what I mean by that) for bid protests, but am "FANSTASTIC and GREAT" (his words) when using those SAME SKILLS and cite checking general litigation briefs and investigations.  So which one is it? I'm a fuck up? or Fantastic?  And then trying to use a client's fuck up for not updating our banking information in their system so that the newish firm would get paid. I confess, I may come off as a confident person online (it's the whole anonymity thing) but I am the most non-confrontational person out there. But when he tried to lay that on me, I cut him off and told him, in no uncertain terms, there is only so much I can do and control, and have to believe the client when they tell me they have all the current information and then don't apply the payments correctly. Arsehole then passive-aggressively picked up his pen and scratched that off his pad. Yep, he had a LIST of my "transgressions', claiming the client was unhappy with my work. Well, after that meeting, the same client sent an email, praising me for the great job I did on the same protests , asshole boss said I did a terrible job in. So, I held it in, and had me a good cry on Tuesday night when I called my dad and told him.  But I reached out to my paralegal friends/colleagues, my two head hunters. Truth is, I've been looking to leave ever since the firm broke up; a few months before that, actually, and I really, REALLY wanted to leave on my own terms.  He'll never find another paralegal/office manager/ who will go the extra miles that I did. The man worked me like dog after my mastectomy and during my chemo.  This is a guy, when he comes to the office, plays fucking COMPUTER GAMES instead of working of briefs that need to be worked on and waits until the night before to make his "edits."

 

I'm the only salaried employee, and now that the two big cases are over, no work; and he depends on this one client to keep him in the black. He's terrible at bringing in new clients. Meaning he fails; can't do it and relies on the other attorneys to do it. His inability to be a good manager and leader is why 4 associates left before the firm broke up.

 

So instead of celebrating, I'll be drowning my sorrows in drink.

 

But not all bad news.

 

I met with the plastic surgeon who is specializes in reconstruction using one's one body tissue, and I am a good candidate and his skillz and bedside manner would give all the GH doctors a run for their money! Super nice; not condescending. Answered ALL my questions, and provided me with all the information I need. I thought the final surgery would be like two days in hospital. Errr, nope. It's more like 4 days and it's a 10 hour surgery! Recovery about 6-8 weeks.  

 

I told him of my concern of whether removal of the other breast and reconstruction of that would be considered elective/covered by insurance.  Know what he did?

 

Sigh. If only I could be as fortunate in a job as I have been with my oncology team, breast surgeon and plastic surgeons! I don't know of any doctor who actually researched and emailed me to let me know that removing my other breast and getting reconstruction on that IS COVERED, so Insurance shouldn't be a problem.

 

Yes, he looked into it and to put my mind at ease, was able to confirm that it would be covered, since it is part of my breast cancer recovery/issue.

[BestestAuntEver]

ScorpiosRule, your boss sucks. I've read your post in the sucks job thread. That stress isn't good for you. You'll find a better job. Good luck with your search.

[OnceSane]

Your boss sucks, GHSR. He'll realize his mistake about a week after you're gone, and, by then, it'll be too late.

And I'm glad your surgeon is awesome. He sounds like he will be good for you.

[Tiger]

You should have called him a "phoney bastard" in an Aussie accent!

[isalicat]

Sounds like a blessing to be rid of such a bad boss, ScorpiosRule! I'm sure you will find something much better very quickly. I'm not sure where you are physically, but my son works for a big law firm in Portland as a client service representative (he is a new college grad and loving his first "real" job) and he tells me the demand up there for legal professionals is tremendous. They are constantly having their best people poached by both other law firms and governmental agencies. Hopefully where you are has the same level of demand. Celebrate anyway - one door closes and another one opens, right?

[GHScorpiosRule]

Thanks y'all.

 

I live in MD, work in DC. I'm hopeful.  I told one of my head hunters that I am willing to work contract until something full time becomes available.  Unemployment is SHIT here.

 

I'm also laughing inside. There are soooo many administrative things that he couldn't be bothered with to learn how to do and dumped them on me, and didn't want to know...just "take care of it", that I wish I could be the fly on the wall when the office implodes.

 

I'm not going to go out of my way to tell the idiots AGAIN how to do what they should already know how to do when I sent them instructions.  And I'm positive that the latest attorney he hired, someone who had her own firm but it dissolved and wants to do things HER way, had a hand in this. Claims to know how to do everything and ends up she doesn't. Whatever.  She won't have me to blame anymore.

[Sake614]

Sucks to be out of work but considering how badly this moron treated you, I say good riddance! And I'm confident that you'll land an even better job soon! Just don't let this affect your recovery, physically or emotionally. You need to keep up your strength if you're going to be ready for the reconstructive surgery.

[WendyCR72]

GHSR, I know you will land on your feet. It actually sounds like you're better off without an ass like that stressing you out when you need it least.

 

Here's hoping those head hunters can help you in finding a new, better job soon!

[testardo]

I know you don't feel it now, but this could be for the best. The stress can be worse. You have fought this for so long keep going. What goes around, comes around. and for him its coming. Happy to hear the tests were negative, and you can get what you want. You seem like a fighter and will win in the long run. Since I hit my seventies I have had a long run of things, but I have been working on it. So according to my doctors Stress is the way your body defeats you. We will of course be praying and thinking only good things for you. You do the same.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Update:

 

Got a call from my breast surgeon's nurse--and I'm doing the Happy Dance, because she says she can go to the other hospital where I'll be having my final reconstruction, so she can lop of the boob, remove the mediport and Dr. R. can do the reconstruction.  Do you know he actually said he could make me "bigger" if I wanted?? I said Noooooooo! If you can make me smaller, I would appreciate that, so verra much! He's awesome. Dr. A, my breast surgeon is AWESOME. So all I need to do is call when I'm ready to have the surgeries. Mid-Spring.

 

And I'm also laughing my ass off regarding the job. Not at me, but at my soon to be former boss. Arsehole is asking "does Vendor x send us invoices? or do we just pay?" And I'm responding as if he's 10 years old, in small words so he can understand. This is the guy that didn't want to be bothered with any of the accounts payable stuff or admin stuff, and he's SUCH a liar. He is the Lying Liar Who Lies, because it's clear he's not going to be hiring anyone to take my place. Otherwise he'd be interviewing and he's not, and he would have me write down the stuff for new person, which he isn't doing. And I don't know what he did, but he tried to lay on me that I didn't enter the amounts of the bills I paid last week in the check register. The FUCK I didn't. I'm so anal retentive, that I enter them in the register FIRST and THEN Pay them online. But...not my problem anymore.

 

And again, this week we had another filing--he knew the deadline was NOON yesterday, and he sends the other attorney his "edits" which were STOOPID, at....NOON. So we filed late.  And the other attorney is grumbling that he should have done these edits three days ago, why is he waiting until the last minute?

 

Me: LAUGHING. Because it's so typical and I TOLD them they had to stay on his ass to get his stuff a week before deadlines. At least I got some OT out of it.

 

I am just hoping I'll hear something SOON. Two opportunities got lost, so I'm bummed about that. But trying to not to let it get me down, because mental affects physical and all that.

[SlovakPrincess]

Sorry to hear about your job troubles, GHScorpiosRule!   Although it sounds like you will be well shut of that place.   Your boss sound like a typical bad-manager-lawyer -- portioning out blame and studiously avoiding having to learn how to do anything ... so he can apportion the blame.     

 

(I actually am a lawyer, but I can say with confidence that most of us are sucky, sucky managers.)  

 

Good luck with the job search!  Here's hoping you can line something up ... but not have to start right away so you can have a little no-stress time off between jobs.  

[GHScorpiosRule]

Thanks Slovak.

 

I know that lawyers can be not so good at being managers, but when we used to be the old firm, the other two partners were good managers; even if one of them was an arrogant blowhard.  But he always was specific about when we had to have x, y, and z. He was a hard task master, but I am a better paralegal because of it. And when I screwed up, and he didn't want to give me anymore work, I proved to him, I could learn from my mistake and I did.  The other two partners were based in the Denver office, unfortunately.

 

Anyhoo, the questions and the way he's handling this...I just want to just up and leave, but since I'm not getting a severance, I have to stay so that I'll at least get paid for the next month. It just bums me out that I couldn't tell him I was leaving. But, we all can't have everything. And did I mention, that though he admitted he was being a dick (his words), he magnanimously offered to give me a good reference. Like I'd use him as such. Only as a last resort. But it's moot, because it's my head hunter who calls the references and markets me to the potential employers, so there's that. But if I had to, I'd use him. I use the other associates that I actually worked with as references.

[SlovakPrincess]

Ugh.  It sucks 'cause you want to just be done with him.  But get that last paycheck, and use him for a reference if you need to.  Get everything you can get out of them at this point!   Drink twice as much of the coffee, if it's free!  ;) 

[cmahorror]

Good luck GHSR - I know that you will find something even better with a boss who respects you and your abilities.

 

Kind of in a weird mood today - I am officially older, by one day, than my husband was when he died. On the one hand, I am grateful for every day I have but on the other hand I think about all the time I am getting that he didn't get with our daughters and the grandchildren that he never got a chance to meet. I love them all very much but I wouldn't have them without him (he was their birth father and I adopted them after we got married) and I sometimes feel guilty that my grandchildren get to spend so much time with Grandma and will only know Grandpa through pictures and stories.

[BestestAuntEver]

Kind of in a weird mood today - I am officially older, by one day, than my husband was when he died. On the one hand, I am grateful for every day I have but on the other hand I think about all the time I am getting that he didn't get with our daughters and the grandchildren that he never got a chance to meet. I love them all very much but I wouldn't have them without him (he was their birth father and I adopted them after we got married) and I sometimes feel guilty that my grandchildren get to spend so much time with Grandma and will only know Grandpa through pictures and stories.

Don't feel guilty, cmahorror. If you hadn't met, fell in love and married your husband, where would your daughters and grandchildren be? Who would love, watch out for/over and protect them?

You came into their lives for a reason and they are a part of your life for a reason.

Continue to enjoy your time with your girls and grand babies.

Edited September 25, 2015 by BestestAuntEver

[tvgoddess]

So sorry to hear about what happened with your job, GHSR, but you are worth so much more than to be treated the way he treated you. All the best wishes for a much better job with managers who appreciate and value you.

 

Hang in there, we're all rooting for you and an easy recovery for your surgery.

[ulkis]

*FACEPALM*

Dude, the former sounds like, sssssss, snake, you know? and the later's s sounds like...zzzzzzz, like zebra. Capiche?

 

 

Two other words I always have to think about: "conscience" and "licence". Something about "is something spelled with just a "c" or "sc"" trips me up I guess.

[WendyCR72]

Two other words I always have to think about: "conscience" and "licence". Something about "is something spelled with just a "c" or "sc"" trips me up I guess.

 

 

Well, to confuse you further, "licence" is the UK spelling. In the US, it's "license".  :-) But glad to see the word "conscience" as, too many times, I see "conscious" used in its place and then I have to cry... (My issue, people! I'll deal!)

[ulkis]

Well, to confuse you further, "licence" is the UK spelling. In the US, it's "license".  :-) But glad to see the word "conscience" as, too many times, I see "conscious" used in its place and then I have to cry... (My issue, people! I'll deal!)

 

I always have to break it down into con-science for myself.

 

Well, to confuse you further, "licence" is the UK spelling. In the US, it's "license"

 

Damn it, that's what I get for letting spell check take over for me. 

Edited September 30, 2015 by ulkikis

[dubbel zout]

Spell check is the devil.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Hey y'all.

 

Wanted to share this...

 

One year ago today, at this time and hour, I was under da knives of my breast and plastic surgeons...yes, a year ago today I had my mastectomy.

 

One year and I'm still here. I think that's cause for celebration, aye?

[dubbel zout]

Time for champagne and fried chicken!!

[Chairperson Meow]

Hey guys! I've been busy at work. Sorry. My boss quit, then another manager quit, making me and another girl the only two managers there. (I'm a manager at AEO) I really like it, but my DOR is merchandising, so I'm like fixing mistakes, etc etc. Anyway, congrats to GHSR on your surgery. Hugs to you, cmahorror. And I hope you guys are all cool.

[Sake614]

Hi all! So, after a year + of complaining about my weight gain and swearing I'd lose the extra pounds, I finally did something about it in June. I started walking every day and watching my calories. It took a few weeks for the pounds to start coming off, but slowly and surely, I started seeing progress. I hit a couple of plateaus along the way and got discouraged, thinking I wouldn't be able to do it, but I stuck with the program and it paid off.

 

I sit here today, a full 15.5 lbs lighter than when I started. I have a pair of dress slacks in my closet that just barely closed in June. Today they fit perfectly. A pair of jeans that I had to struggle to get past my butt, slid on and closed with room to spare. I'd like to shed another 2 or 3 lbs just so the clothes will still fit if I pig out, but I'm not going to push it. Now I just have to figure out how to keep the weight off. But I'm sooo excited!!

[jennifer6973]

Keep Walking.

 

I think when I first moved down to Florida, I started walking everyday.  I personally didn't notice my weight loss, but all the people I walked by did.  I think I've lost about 20 pounds.  So I just keep walking around the block.  Plus I noticed it in my license picture, my face wasn't as full.

 

So keep walking, go a little farther if you have to, to keep it challenging, but keep doing it.

[Sake614]

Thanks Jennifer. I actually haven't walked in two months. A couple of weeks before my surgery, I decided to wear my sneakers instead of sport sandals and ended up with blisters all over my feet. Then of course post-op, I was in too much pain to walk much. But I joined a gym and bought new sneakers (ones that actually fit lol!) so I'm going to get back into working out on a regular basis. I need to strengthen my core muscles especially.

 

I won't completely blow the diet but I will start letting myself eat a bit more once in a while. :)

[isalicat]

Um, Sake, may I offer a bit of advice. It was the combination of diet *and* exercise that allowed you to lose the weight (and congrats - I know how hard it is, as I am well past 50 yrs. old and only 4'11" and *lazy*). If you give up on either frankly the weight will come back because your body has now adjusted to the new weight and will be craving and storing calories to get back to the previous you (this is why so many people yo-yo in their weight loss/gain efforts). I lost 38 lbs. about 10 years ago and then gained back 10 just from eating what I thought be normally. Lost that and have not looked back but it is really hard because restaurant portions are generally at least twice what I should be eating at any given meal.

 

My mom just hit 89 years old this year and is thriving because she has spent like 60 years "strengthening her core muscles" although I don't think they called it that back then. She just finished 6 weeks of radiation for lung cancer a month ago - doesn't even know if she is "officially" cancer free and is already talking about joining a local gym so she and my dad (age 94) can "use the machines". So get on it as should we all :)

[Sake614]

Im in awe of your mom! And yeah I know I need to keep exercising. I have a sedentary job , which doesn't help. And as the weAther gets colder, I'm going to be even less inclined to move lol! But I really am determined to keep the weight off this time, so I'll somehow force myself to do 'something.' Plus, the not walking wasn't really a choice for a While. Blisters and z hysterectomy will do that to you :(. I have no such excuses anymore though, as it's been nearly two months since the surgery and the blisters are healed. It's really just a matter of getting my sorry ass out of the house and that's going to take some serious negotiating with myself lol!

[isalicat]

Oh my, Sake, we must be long lost cousins. I am so unmotivated to do anything that involves getting especially dressed, going anywhere, going anywhere in a car, having a membership, exercising with other more beautiful people than me....LOL! So - my solution is this - look in your local Craig's List or want ads until you find a NordicTrak. It should be totally inexpensive because they don't make them anymore I don't think because no one thinks they are cool enough with all the electronically powered exercise gizmotrons to buy. I got a really nice one for $15 locally a few years ago - I had a perfectly nice one at my previous home that I just gave away when we moved. I park my NordicTrak in front of either Quest Means Business (on international CNN at 1 PM my time - I adore Richard Quest). I'm not sure that it would work to NordicTrak to GH. Any sort of talking head or music program would be better. Who cares about the weather? I can go cross country skiing every day in my home office. They collapse and are easily movable, don't take a rocket scientist to work with and you get a full body workout as much or little as you can do. Just make sure you get on it and that all the parts move easily (if the timer/distance meter doesn't work it probably just needs a battery - they are amazingly reliable) and you are comfortable doing the basic cross country ski motion (slowly! until you get into it).

 

Okay, I am prejudiced - I was a cross country skier every winter for 25 years plus (not competitively but regularly) when we lived in the mountains. I used to NordicTrak all year there too as, again, I am even too lazy to drive to the snow too often if it not already right outside the front door (well, it was most of the time, so I was pretty privileged in the winter anyways.)

[Sake614]

ha! Well I live in a one-bedroom apartment so there's no room for a Nordic track. And even if there was, it would just end up like every other piece of equipment I've ever owned: a clothing rack lol!

[ulkis]

As someone who has been through it (unsuccessfully) it is extremely costly.  Just "making the embryo" can cost around $18k including all the blood work, ultrasounds, doctor visits, medications, etc..  Another few thousand for the implantation procedure.  And unfortunately most insurance companies pay NOTHING.  I live in NJ which has a state law mandating insurance pay for infertility treatments.  However the law is so flimsy and has so many loopholes that most companies are able to get out of it.  My company, through which I get my insurance, unfortunately was able to get a waiver so insurance pays nada:(

 

 

I don't know much about it (if that wasn't obvious). I only know I was recently speaking to someone about a mutual friend and I expressed surprise at this friend having a baby relatively soon, and the person I was talking to asked me if I realized that they had IVF. I said no and was told that nowadays apparently if people don't conceive after a year of trying they do IVF. I said, wasn't that expensive, and got the answer that no, insurance mostly covers it now. We live in NJ too. I dunno, my friend is a teacher, so maybe that has something to do with her insurance less able to wriggle out of it?

Edited October 20, 2015 by ulkikis

[mostlylurking]

 

my friend is a teacher, so maybe that has something to do with her insurance less able to wriggle out of it?

Yes, that may be true.  Some insurances do cover it, but the vast majority do not.  And yes it is true that if an otherwise healthy couple has been actively trying for over a year and has not been successful, they should go to a specialist to determine if there is a reason they are not conceiving.  That does not mean they automatically jump into IVF.  Depending on the diagnosis, there are other protocols that may be tried first that are far less invasive and less costly as well.  I think people over simplify the process and diminish the struggle because most of the time we only hear the success stories, which are awesome, but the reality is there are still a lot more failures than success.  As you can see, I unfortunately know A LOT about this subject:/

[dubbel zout]

I think many insurances will cover a small number of tries, like up to three, and anything after that is out of pocket. IVF often takes a few tries to "stick," though, and that can be why it starts to really add up.

[mostlylurking]

Yes, the insurance companies that do cover infertility treatments will usually cover up to three tries.  But again, the vast majority cover nothing.  Of course I'm talking about coverage in the US.  In other countries especially in Europe infertility is covered more often than not and it's not even a question.

[dubbel zout]

That's what you get with a one-payer system. Stupid Big Pharma and its corrupting political influence. (I still love you, Big Pharma, for saving my life.)

[Chairperson Meow]

You guys! I've been in the hospital for the past few days with kidney stones and very low sodium. It feels good to get those suckers out, but I'll be golden when I get this stent out. And my kidney doctor is a cutie too. I was like... why did I not shave my legs lol.

[Sake614]

Aww Grrpants, glad you're feeling a little better. That's why I dont' go to cute doctors lol!

 

In other news, I need some reassurance. My mom and I are bringing my brother and sister-in-law in for THanksgiving. The idea was that they'd stay at mom's apartment in my old bedroom. I have an air mattress and they could put it on top of the sofa bed. Well, he called me this morning to ask if they could stay at my place instead because his back is acting up. Now, if I had an extra room, that wouldn't be an issue. But I don't. What he's asking is if they can stay here and I stay at mom's, sleeping on the air mattress. For FIVE nights. I feel like a complete heel for turning him down. I mean, we don't get to see them very often and I certainly don't want him to be in pain. But I also want my own creature comforts. I want to be able to come home at the end of the day and relax in my own apartment, sleep in my own bed and have my own TV.

 

So, do I give up my apartment?

[jennifer6973]

How long have they been married?  It sounds to me like they want some privacy for private things they can't do with Mom listening.

 

 

Otherwise if it was me, I would say no.

[dubbel zout]

If it were one night, I'd do it, but five? Let them get a hotel room if they want to have private space. 

Edited October 28, 2015 by dubbel zout