S09:E04: October 19, 2023

[JenE4]

Will Sam deliver her poop baby rectally, or will she need an emergency C-section? 

I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.

[DEL901]

Remember the show is delayed because of Biden’s speech .  According to my pvr, the delay is 22 minutes.  

[JenE4]

Guest starring Dr Kelly. The look on this man’s face. I went to medical school and they are making me pose by this bar.

I can’t believe someone is this skinny not pooping while continuing to eat for 11 days. The woman has abs! I hope she’s okay. That’s scary if they need to operate. Worse than that, she will forever be known for this! No one knew who she was day 1. Was she a night 1 ejectee? Whose season? No one knows! Now she’s the bachelorette with the obstructed bowel.

[JenE4]

Why is everyone acting like John Henry is the hottest thing to grace Paradise and that everyone has been waiting for him? How do they even know who he is?! I’ve never seen this man before.

 

ETA: Okay, now that he calmed down a bit on this date with Olivia, I can see that he’s kind of cute. I still don’t understand how everyone knew enough about him to anticipate his arrival, though.

Edited October 20, 2023 by JenE4

[JenE4]

Oh, no. Aaron is already crying into his blanket, and Eliza only got pulled for a talk so far.

I thought Eliza ran off from her date with John slinking over in her blue dress to the two Aarons—but it turns out she’s just leaving for her date. At least it’s not an all-day date. Aaron might make it through the length one uneaten dinner without spiraling too badly!

I spoke too soon. Eliza kissed John! Aaron, commence spiraling, my man.

[JenE4]

Brayden has body glitter on his face. Rachel has body glitter on. Jess is infamous for glitter. I was starting to develop a conspiracy theory about this whole Brayden-Rachel-Sean-Jess debacle, but then I realized it’s very likely Brayen would highlight his cheekbones with glitter as an additional piece of flair.

[JenE4]

Aaron S, I’m sure Wells had the key. He was going to get to the box. That box was supposed to be used all season. Brayden and his boys really did stuff the ballot box with pro-Brayden/anti-Kat propaganda. Really, no issues with anyone else on this beach? It’s blatantly obvious that Brayden is using Rachel for a rose, just like everyone has their pitchforks aimed at Kat over. Now Brayden needs to get engaged to Rachel just to show he’s not a hypocrite.

Edited October 20, 2023 by JenE4

[Aim123]

Wells fully explains the "Truth Box" for a minute straight and then they cut to Kylee explaining the Truth Box for another minute straight. We heard it, editors. Stop with these filler scenes of people explaining what we already saw or know. Sean-- I'm gonna need you to stop messing with your hair color. Sun In is NOT your color and who ever told you that you look like a Ken doll lied to you. Brayden looks like a young Johnny Depp.

 

[leocadia]

Maybe I'm just getting old, but watching a bunch of desperate, immature brats has lost it's charm.  The only ones with a modicum of sincerity are Kylee and Aven, and even with them I have to question whether it's true attraction, or more about wanting to be the successful couple on this season.

Kat/Brayden/Sean/Rachel/Aaron - newsflash:  you all suck! 

Kat is narcississtic and mean. (Tanner, if she treated Brayden that way and talks to people the way she spoke to Aaron, she will do the same to you.)

Rachel acts like she thinks she's still the Bachelorette and continues to be the high-maintenance princess we saw on her season. 

Sean who claims he's there to "find love" really just wants to be on tv and needs to get over  himself and his obsession with Ken.  (It was his dumb ass that thought it was a smart move to pursue Jess the night before the women hand out the roses, so he shouldn't be blaming Brayden for using that against him.)

Aaron is way too old to be acting like a whiny baby because his connection had to leave.  If he's really interested in Sam, he can pursue her offscreen, but like them all, he just wants to stay on tv.

And finally, there is Brayden.  I have a grassy knoll theory that his appearance here was all to redeem himself from the backlash he got on the Bachelorette.  I think he fully intended to find one person and stick with them as the bestest most faithful boyfriend Bachelor Nation had ever seen.  I don't think any part of him every imagined for a second that he would get  punted for someone "better."  Now all bets are off and he's going to go back to being the toxic Brayden we all saw before.  There is no way he is into Rachel.  He is just desperate to stay on tv.  Too bad he couldn't just leave with grace and say that he was really into Kat and isn't feeling it with anyone else.  

Edited October 21, 2023 by leocadia

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

I don't know if I've ever seen a bigger bunch of candy ass guys on Bachelor in Paradise as we are seeing this season.

[Meowwww]

I deleted last weeks show because it was all about the poop.  This weeks show started with talking about the poop, deleted it too.  It’s not cute and is not at all something I want to watch. 
 So not appealing. 

[tinkerbell]

13 hours ago, Aim123 said:

Brayden looks like a young Johnny Depp.

 

No, Brayden THINKS he looks like Johnny Depp.  He's trying to copy someone, while thinking he's being original and unique.

[snarts]

12 hours ago, One4Sorrow2TooBad said:

I don't know if I've ever seen a bigger bunch of candy ass guys on Bachelor in Paradise as we are seeing this season.

True, but they are nice to look at. I could've watched them on the beach playing football a bit longer.

Wow, Kat's something. Excited to see her meltdown next week when the tables turn...on her birthday no less!

It would be nice if Sam could come back. No idea how intensive the surgery is, As a non medical professional, I think they'd like start with some stool softeners and an enema first. That could've been done in Mexico.

I know it's anti-Bachelor to say this but I hate the date cards and the rose ceremonies. I wish they'd go back to games like on the original Bachelor Pad. 

[Sweet-tea]

On 10/19/2023 at 8:38 PM, JenE4 said:

 

I can’t believe someone is this skinny not pooping while continuing to eat for 11 days. The woman has abs! I hope she’s okay. That’s scary if they need to operate. Worse than that, she will forever be known for this! No one knew who she was day 1. Was she a night 1 ejectee? Whose season? No one knows! Now she’s the bachelorette with the obstructed bowel.

I couldn't get past this watching the show! Her stomach is totally flat! She hasn't pooped in 10 days and is wearing a midriff top with absolutely no pooch. I get bloated after two days. Sheesh! This woman is a freak of nature.

I guess this is the difference between someone my age and hers. I didn't grow up with social media. If I had this issue on the show, I would've told the producers I had a medical issue and needed to leave. No details. I wouldn't want to be known as the Girl Who Couldn't Poop. 

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Wow, Kat's something. Excited to see her meltdown next week when the tables turn...on her birthday no less!

 

Her rant struck me as narcissistic rage. How dare anyone question her? 

Rachel continues to be a background player on this show. Is she not hot enough for the guys or do the producers dislike her? She's not even in many of the THs. 

I dislike Eliza based on her behavior last season. I'm not seeing much difference this season. She seems flighty and like she's here for screen time. She is awfully cute though. 

Sean, you do not look like a Ken doll. The one person in your life who told you this lied to you. Let it go. 

Kylee and Aven may be a solid couple, but they are incredibly boring to me. I'm not sure who has less of a personality, so I'm giving Aven the slight edge. 

I'm looking forward to when Tanner dumps Kat. 

I wish they would've had two or three new women come to the beach so the ratio was a little more even. I also wish they had a rose ceremony each episode instead of dragging it out. 

Olivia's THs are not funny and smack of trying too hard to me. As the season goes on, her ego expands. 

 

 

Edited October 21, 2023 by Sweet-tea

[Mswldflwr]

No love for the dog on the beach?  He's my favorite.  I'd have a playdate every day with that cutie.  And I'd gift him with one of Kat's shoes.

Olivia has annoyed me since Day 1.  Was actually surprised to hear she 's smart enough to school for PA because she comes of not terribly bright, to me.

[One4Sorrow2TooBad]

The show needs to have a rose ceremony every week and bring in new people to keep it interesting.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

Rachel is angry that Sean pretended to like her while she pretended to like him?! Make it make sense 😅!  Eliza needs to cut out that fake cutesy little girl voice.   The football playing guys were hot.  Lastly, there's always an angry birthday girl who destroys her cake before anyone can eat it- in the previews for next week the cake was engulfed by the waves.  That's the only sadness I ever feel watching this series- delicious cake in a bonfire last year and cake in the waves this year. 😭

Edited October 22, 2023 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Blue hues]

17 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Rachel is angry that Sean pretended to like her while she pretended to like him?! Make it make sense 😅!  Eliza needs to cut out that fake cutesy little girl voice.   The football playing guys were hot.  Lastly, there's always an angry birthday girl who destroys her cake before anyone can eat it- in the previews for next week the cake was engulfed by the waves.  That's the only sadness I ever feel watching this series- delicious cake in a bonfire last year and cake in the waves this year. 😭

Eliza just comes across  as trying to be the Disney Princess of the cast…. All sweetness and light, and who me?  Kind of like it’s her bachelorette audition

[ljenkins782]

On 10/20/2023 at 9:29 PM, leocadia said:

Maybe I'm just getting old, but watching a bunch of desperate, immature brats has lost it's charm.  The only ones with a modicum of sincerity are Kylee and Aven, and even with them I have to question whether it's true attraction, or more about wanting to be the successful couple on this season.

I'm not sure about Aven, but that is 100% Kylee's motivation. She's writing her love story in real time and probably planning her Instagram posts most of the day. She's likely to be disappointed to find herself fading into the background since the Will/Olivia/Aven  dust up on the first day. She probably expected to be the subject of many envious THs about her and Aven being 'relationship goals' or whatever dumb shit the kids say and so far, Sam's poop baby has gotten more attention to the Kylee/Aven relationship.

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Eliza just comes across  as trying to be the Disney Princess of the cast…. All sweetness and light, and who me?  Kind of like it’s her bachelorette audition

Yeah, there's something disingenuous about her and it's like she is overly concerned with being judged by the audience. On the other hand, I'd tread lightly with Aaron B, he's got a real clingy vibe. 

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Rachel is angry that Sean pretended to like her while she pretended to like him?! Make it make sense 😅! 

That was by far the most genuine thing that's happened so far. Nothing worse than someone you're not that into telling everyone that he's not that into you, but feels bad that you're so into him. I'm not even sure if that's what Sean was doing, but Brayden very accurately pinpointed what would ignite Rachel's temper and played it just right to get the response he was looking for. 

And apparently seems to have bought himself another day by stepping into the revenge hookup spot that we all knew Rachel would be looking for, that was some world class BiP gameplay. 

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Olivia has annoyed me since Day 1.  Was actually surprised to hear she 's smart enough to school for PA because she comes of not terribly bright, to me.

I was most surprised to hear someone actually talk about themselves as an actual person and not in the context of who they are on that beach. Like, to hear someone talk about their real life was very startling, in contrast to the scintillating conversation about how they're bloated that day and decided on a 1-piece as a result.

On the other hand, Olivia needs to cool it with her big love triangle talk. Pete isn't remotely interested in her, that rose was about keeping potential drama on the show and now he's in need of a reciprocal rose. I'd forgotten who Pete was when she pulled him aside to ask his permission to go on the other date. 

I actually thought she and John Henry were cute together, he's obviously very shy and she did a good job pulling him out of his shell. 

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Why is everyone acting like John Henry is the hottest thing to grace Paradise and that everyone has been waiting for him? How do they even know who he is?! I’ve never seen this man before.

That is the M.O. this season, the producers apparently sit everyone down and film a TH about how fiery hot X person is and how they're going to set the beach on fire with their hotness. They've always had some of these THs, but they've turned it up to 15 this year.

[Stats Queen]

23 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Rachel is angry that Sean pretended to like her while she pretended to like him?! Make it make sense 😅!  Eliza needs to cut out that fake cutesy little girl voice.   The football playing guys were hot.  Lastly, there's always an angry birthday girl who destroys her cake before anyone can eat it- in the previews for next week the cake was engulfed by the waves.  That's the only sadness I ever feel watching this series- delicious cake in a bonfire last year and cake in the waves this year. 😭

I agree, don’t destroy good cake, it’s a crime.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

41 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

I agree, don’t destroy good cake, it’s a crime.

I agree- and the Bachelor Nation preview title even takes notice of the cake destruction 😅! I make and decorate my family's birthday cakes and my own birthday cakes entirely from scratch every year and I can't believe that Kat would just angrily toss her birthday cake into the waves. This doesn't look like a supermarket sheet cake either- it had slivered almonds, tropical fruit, berries whipped cream piped with different tip shapes and fancy candles.

That thankless bitch! 😱😭🍰🌊

6 hours ago, Blue hues said:

Eliza just comes across  as trying to be the Disney Princess of the cast…. All sweetness and light, and who me?  Kind of like it’s her bachelorette audition

Eliza acts like woodland creatures dress her and that she shits pretty pink froyo every morning.  I can't stand her! 

[Hip-to-be-Square]

3 hours ago, ljenkins782 said:

 Brayden very accurately pinpointed what would ignite Rachel's temper and played it just right to get the response he was looking for. 

Yes! Smooth moves on Brayden's part- Rachel's eyes were huge with anger and shock and then he went right in for the make out.  Totally dropped "bro code" according to Sean, but Sean will find another fame hungry girl coming down the steps and he'll put in some extra sun-in to woo her with his Ken Doll hair! 😉

[mirandroid]

On 10/21/2023 at 1:12 PM, Sweet-tea said:

Sean, you do not look like a Ken doll. The one person in your life who told you this lied to you. Let it go. 

Seriously. He reminds me of the giggity guy on Family Guy, but a Ken doll he is not.

[tennisgurl]

Oh yeah Kat, nothing says "I don't care what you think" than screaming so loud about how little she cares that the whole beach can hear. Kat is such a narcissistic drama queen, its all about her, she's always right, and she decides that anyone who doesn't totally back her is "toxic" and she doesn't want to hear them talk anymore. Watching her get ditched by Tanner, who she hates now, is going to be hilarious. 

Looks like Brayden is back on his bullshit after actually coming off well this season. He knew what he was doing with Rachel, he knows that she is massively insecure and if she found out that Sean wasn't all about her she would spiral and go for the first guy who gave her attention, who just so happens to be him. It probably says a lot about Kat that he still manages to look like the lesser asshole in his "break-up" with Kat.

Whoever told Sean he looked like Ken was clearly fucking with him, he is certainly no Ryan Gosling. Just about all of the guys are just ridiculously whiny and constantly butthurt this season, but he's the king of whinners. Aaron might give him a run for his money though, he's like a little kid who breaks into the cookie jar instead of waiting for snack time. 

If I never hear the words "poop baby" again, I would be just thrilled with that. 

We can stop with Olivia's constant narration any time now, please and thank you. Her obsession with her love triangle is so cringe, although I thought she and John Henry were pretty cute together. I think he's probably one the better looking guys so far, she should lock that down and just focus on that instead of her "hilarious" comments. 

More screen time for the puppy, the season's most likable character. 

[DEL901]

3 hours ago, mirandroid said:

Seriously. He reminds me of the giggity guy on Family Guy, but a Ken doll he is not.

Sean won the Ken challenge on the Bachelorette.  He didn’t have much competition.    

[tinkerbell]

Rachel made the same mistake she made on Bachelorette.  She let's a guy tattle on another guy by paraphrasing their words, then she gets mad because, of course, the tattler would have no reason to deceive. What was Sean's crime anyway? Saying Rachel liked him? Big deal. Brayden gets the rose she would have given to Sean.

Sean looking like Ryan gosling, no. But looking like a Ken doll? Considering that a Ken doll is a generic boring white guy without genitals, I'd say whoever told him that's what he looked like probably meant it as an insult.

[JenE4]

17 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

 

Eliza acts like woodland creatures dress her and that she shits pretty pink froyo every morning.  

Someone call Dr Kelly! The man can do a gastroenterology case study on Paradise participants.

[Recyclorette]

On 10/20/2023 at 11:22 PM, Meowwww said:

I deleted last weeks show because it was all about the poop.  This weeks show started with talking about the poop, deleted it too.  It’s not cute and is not at all something I want to watch. 
 So not appealing. 

I just watched this week's episode and couldn't agree more.  We went from Ashley's farting and peeing on the beach last year to a poop baby.  

While I'm here, I must say I too am really getting annoyed with delaying the rose ceremonies.  There should be some reward at the end for all the foolery over 2 hours.  And I was wondering when the real Rachel would show up; I never bought her serene classy act.  If I have to be subjected to her saying she was disrespected one more time, I'm going to scream.  I think she and Kate would make a wonderful couple where they could create drama for each other for eternity.  And spare the rest of us!