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S05.E03: How I Haven't Met Your Mother

greekmom
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greekmom

greekmom

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Brandan and Mary finally meet face to face; Kirsten learns Julio has kept her a secret; Wayne's security innovations don't impress Holly's mom; Armando is done with Kenny always getting his way; Kimberly's first night with TJ goes from bad to worse.

TLC: 24/07/23; Discovery+: 24/07/23;

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TwirlyGirly

TwirlyGirly

Brendan and Mary:

Should be a case study on dysfunctional and toxic relationships.

Julio and Kirsten:

Julio's mom will be okay. Julio shouldn't let his mother guilt him out of leaving. She's not going to be left alone; she has two other sons. Besides, between phone calls, texting, and FaceTime they'll be interacting a lot more than she thinks.

I'm a single mom and I fell apart during the first week after my daughter (only child) left for college. Then I was fine, because we were still communicating a lot. Her leaving had far less of an impact on our relationship than I thought it would.

Holly and Wayne:

When I was a junior in high school, I met a new student who had been born and grew up in South Africa and whose family had just returned to the US. His father was an executive with Shell Oil. He has a very slight accent that I couldn't place, and when I asked him about it, that's when he told me he had moved from South Africa.

Having never met anyone from SA before, I wanted to know more. He wouldn't talk about it.

This was in the mid-70s, when Apartheid was still in full swing. It wasn't something we learned about in school, and my only interest in any political issue at the time was limited to the passing of the ERA in the US. All I knew about Apartheid was that it was very, very BAD.

Now that I know more about Apartheid, and the state of the country today, there is NO man or ANY amount of money that could convince me to move there. Just nope.

Kenny and Armando:

They'll be fine. They love each other and they're good communicators. They both seem to be aware of their flaws and how those flaws affect their communication and are willing to work on doing better.

Kimberly and TJ:

Kimberly, I hope you have enough money to buy a ticket home. Make that reservation NOW. 

If you think that apartment is bad, wait til you hear about TJ's future plans for you. 

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AR Traveler

AR Traveler

Kenny and Armando- I still haven't heard why Kenny wants to move to Mexico City in the first place.  Wasn't there going to be some kind of business he wanted to do?  But using Hannah as a "secret weapon" to manipulate Armando is beyond the pale.  I think he should just admit he won't get his way.  If Armando isn't 100% on board, it won't work.

Brandan and Mary- This "relationship" is a horror.  And now we have Brandan thinking with his little brain.  

 Kimberly and TJ- TJ stands for "total jerk".  He's got a hot temper, and shouts her down.  I don't think he's far from violence.  Kimberly is a shrew.  How the hell did she live in India for a year (?) and not see all the red flags that we saw in 15 minutes?  Maybe  he did have t he carpenters build it like a funhouse so he can say "See, my parents' house is much nicer."

Holly and Wayne- Holly's my daughter's name, but that's where the similarities end.  This Holly is a nut, and none too bright.  I'm also starting to not like Wayne.

Julio and Kirsten- He talks a big talk about how adventurous he is, but he's scared of Mommy and keeps a whale of a secret: that he's moving to the Netherlands.  That's not how adults work, and were I Kirsten, it would give me a huge red flag to consider.  Mom is overbearing, sure, but Julio can only control Julio.  I forget, does he live with his mother?

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libgirl2

libgirl2

5 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I assume those are Julio’s half brothers by the man his mom moved to the US to be with because they don’t look anything like him.

I have tons of family in the DR, some I haven't even met and I could swear Juliio's mother looks like she could be related to me. Who knows? 

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Scarlett45

Scarlett45

8 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I assume those are Julio’s half brothers by the man his mom moved to the US to be with because they don’t look anything like him.

In episode one Julio said that when they came to the US it was just he and his Mom (these brothers were not born), so likely yes. 
 

I did feel bad for Kristen when they were speaking Spanish and she was waiting on the translation. Given Julio has kept her on the “hush hush”, the apprehension on her face is understandable. 

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libgirl2

libgirl2

25 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

In episode one Julio said that when they came to the US it was just he and his Mom (these brothers were not born), so likely yes. 
 

I did feel bad for Kristen when they were speaking Spanish and she was waiting on the translation. Given Julio has kept her on the “hush hush”, the apprehension on her face is understandable. 

I wanted to sit down to that meal! Tostones! Ensalada! 

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sharwoods

sharwoods

I don't understand why Julio has been lying to his mother for so long about his relationship with Kristen, especially when he was in the Netherlands for several months last year and pretended it was for business.  He waits until Kristen shows up in person and then drops the bomb on his family.  That was really unfair to both Kristen and his mother.  If I were Kristen, I would rethink a long-term relationship with a guy who is over 30, living with his mother, and has not explored finding a job abroad yet.  He seems very self-centered and immature.

The reason I am commenting on this situation is that my son (age 30) who has been already living on his own in another state for 5 years is currently in a romantic relationship with a woman from the Netherlands and want to move there in the near future.  However, he will not move until he finds a job there.  His company has relationships with one or two sister companies in Germany and the Netherlands so he plans to pursue those avenues.  I tried to advise him to go there first for a month to check out the area in person rather than just moving there permanently, but I know that the more negative I am about his plans the greater likelihood there is that our relationship will suffer.  So, we'll see what happens.  By the way, they already met in person a few months ago when she and her family were here for a wedding so it hasn't been 100% online dating.  I did tell him that you never really know a person until you live with him/her, so I wish them the best of luck and I am staying out of it.

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SunnyBeBe

SunnyBeBe

(edited)

I agree that Kimberly went way overboard with the renovation criticism, but I do get her emotions.  It’s something I need to work on, but I have trouble managing my expectations for things that appear on display like windows, appliances, sink, etc.  especially, if the craftsman dropped the ball.  I sense that Kimberly just wanted her concerns to be validated.  I wonder when T.J.has ever been sensitive to her needs.  It seems to be who he is.  Is she in denial?  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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Kid

Kid

(edited)

Kirsten needs to run and run fast. Good old Julio is dishonest, and he withholds information.

And  I don't think I'm going to be able to take too much of this Filipino chick because she is really grating on my nerves.

Is anyone else being driven crazy by the pop-up ads that now appear in this forum?  

Edited by Kid
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Shrek

Shrek

13 hours ago, Quof said:

That's not the last possible moment, it's practically afterwards.

3 months is plenty of advance notice for a move, she needs to get a grip as he's not her only son.

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

21 hours ago, Kid said:

Kirsten needs to run and run fast. Good old Julio is dishonest, and he withholds information.

Hopefully she will---she doesn't seem all that invested in the relationship or in him. She is more in love with herself (the constant filming and selfies) and she already has a nice lifestyle in the Netherlands. 

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1011101010001

1011101010001

8 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

Hopefully she will---she doesn't seem all that invested in the relationship or in him. She is more in love with herself (the constant filming and selfies) and she already has a nice lifestyle in the Netherlands. 

It doesn’t seem to have dawned on her that youth and beauty fade and then what will you have to offer?

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greekmom

greekmom

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On 7/24/2023 at 11:36 PM, AR Traveler said:

Kenny and Armando- I still haven't heard why Kenny wants to move to Mexico City in the first place.  Wasn't there going to be some kind of business he wanted to do?  But using Hannah as a "secret weapon" to manipulate Armando is beyond the pale.  I think he should just admit he won't get his way.  If Armando isn't 100% on board, it won't work.

I wouldn't worry about these too. The plot is actually called: "we need a TLC paycheck besides pillow talk."

Why is Allison taking a stick to India with her? They have sticks already.

Mary. If Brandan had more money to be able to reserve a seat then you wouldn't have to worry about your babe magnet being scooped up by another gal. 

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anoninrva

anoninrva

On 7/25/2023 at 12:06 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

I agree that Kimberly went way overboard with the renovation criticism, but I do get her emotions.  It’s something I need to work on, but I have trouble managing my expectations for things that appear on display like windows, appliances, sink, etc.  especially, if the craftsman dropped the ball.  I sense that Kimberly just wanted her concerns to be validated.  I wonder when T.J.has ever been sensitive to her needs.  It seems to be who he is.  Is she in denial?  

I'm actually on her side here.  Maybe that was the best he could do, but, say, finishing one room (I'd vote on the bathroom, but I guess that's just my cultural insensitivity coming through) rather than half-assing all of them would have been more appropriate.

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Kid

Kid

9 hours ago, anoninrva said:

I'm actually on her side here.  Maybe that was the best he could do, but, say, finishing one room (I'd vote on the bathroom, but I guess that's just my cultural insensitivity coming through) rather than half-assing all of them would have been more appropriate.

Let us get to the bottom line here. Simple truth is he could give two shits about what she wants or needs.

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

41 minutes ago, Kid said:

Let us get to the bottom line here. Simple truth is he could give two shits about what she wants or needs.

And if she thinks the apartment is such a hovel, she will have to agree to move into the actual in laws house (no separation, no privacy) and learn how to take care of an Indian household

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1011101010001

1011101010001

20 hours ago, anoninrva said:

I'm actually on her side here.  Maybe that was the best he could do, but, say, finishing one room (I'd vote on the bathroom, but I guess that's just my cultural insensitivity coming through) rather than half-assing all of them would have been more appropriate.

Jaipur is a city of three million residents so I’m calling bullshit on TJ’s claim of rural workers.

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Chalby

Chalby

(edited)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I find there's appears to be a correlation between orthodox, strict, or fundamental religious "mates" and their dysfunctional, awkward, and unhealthy (emotionally) expectations. I am often wondering if they've ever been in the "real world" communicating with others, when I see their behavior during a so-called romantic courtship?

Also, am I the only viewer who wishes I could instantly arrive at their location and during their conversation, So I may rip a strip off one or both of them?

On 7/24/2023 at 7:42 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

 

 

Edited by Chalby
Don't want my replies merged!!!!!
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Chalby

Chalby

On 7/24/2023 at 7:42 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

Brendan and Mary:

Should be a case study on dysfunctional and toxic relationships.

Julio and Kirsten:

Thank you for a well-written and extremely organized post. It was easy to read and I appreciate the effort.

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

OK, so now that I have seen the entire episode (FF'd Kenny)..

 

TJ---while I still think he is a creeper and has potential to be physically abusive, I thought she was a little bitch. I can understand being annoyed that it isn't finished, but she really was picking on each tiny detail. Like the baseboards, the size of the doorway, the sink outside the bathroom (I have been in hotels in the US like that). I can see losing my temper in that situation----he took out a loan (I am assuming at not so great interest rates) and has been doing this on top of whatever else he does for income, dealing with as he said "rural" workers (maybe the equivalent of finding guys outside a 7-11 or Home Depot here) who probably steal and don't really know what they are doing. She is acting like a whiny, privileged princess who can just show up and move into a US style and quality apartment. Her presents for her in laws, just....crap. 

 

 

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Stuckathome

Stuckathome

(edited)

How could I forget, Mary and Brandan? Did anyone else roll their eyes when her grandparents and brother were lecturing her about not kissing or touching him until he gets their permission? I guess I just have a hard time believing that she is a virgin and so chaste. I mean, I know, I know it doesn't mean a damn thing but she has a shit ton of tattoos, shakes her ass as a "dancer" and she is a poor beautiful woman in the Philippines.....much like Thailand, aren't many women sent off by their families from rural areas to work the sex industry in the larger cities? I would say maybe she is this insulated farm girl but they aren't at university and running around on a smartphone 24/7. It all reeks of fake, fake, fake. 

Holly and Vlad----yes, that is  my name for him. Holy shit, I knew the crime in SA is notoriously bad, but I guess I didn't realize that it is so routine in a middle class area. Three times in 6 months? WTF do they steal? I felt so bad for her when she cried about the dog, holy shit, to come home to a murdered family pet? I don't agree with him keeping the fact that he can't afford a gated community home from her, but I get it. What does she bring financially to this marriage that she can walk in and make pricey demands? And, again like with Mary and Brandan, WTF with the chaperone and no sex before marriage. She spent time there alone with him before, do they seriously want us to believe they didn't hook up ? at all? and how old are they? he looks to be late 40s or early 50s and she is rough looking as well (or maybe it is the makeup and nasty hair). In the preview he makes a big deal about her clothes and for once I agree. You live in an area with such high crime, you don't dress that way. Shouldn't be that way but it just is. Show a little less skin, you can still be sexy. Doesn't mean you dress like on little house on the prairie, but cover your tits and ass. 

Julio---I thought he was hot teh first time we saw him, but now he is somehow less attractive. Sort of too toothy and big ears? A latino Kevin Hart? lol. Rolled my eyes at his mother and her dramatics. 

Edited by Stuckathome
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IvySpice

IvySpice

Boy, they really outdid themselves in the casting this year, didn't they?

Brandan basically needs to try the Costanza approach to life: whatever you think is the right decision, Brandan, doing the opposite will be the right answer. Sheesh. Who on earth could think it's a wise decision to take off for the Philippines to be with an abuser, with no way of getting home?

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Squishy Tomato

Squishy Tomato

On 7/25/2023 at 5:45 PM, sharwoods said:

I don't understand why Julio has been lying to his mother for so long about his relationship with Kristen, especially when he was in the Netherlands for several months last year and pretended it was for business.  He waits until Kristen shows up in person and then drops the bomb on his family.  That was really unfair to both Kristen and his mother.  If I were Kristen, I would rethink a long-term relationship with a guy who is over 30, living with his mother, and has not explored finding a job abroad yet.  He seems very self-centered and immature.

The reason I am commenting on this situation is that my son (age 30) who has been already living on his own in another state for 5 years is currently in a romantic relationship with a woman from the Netherlands and want to move there in the near future.  However, he will not move until he finds a job there.  His company has relationships with one or two sister companies in Germany and the Netherlands so he plans to pursue those avenues.  I tried to advise him to go there first for a month to check out the area in person rather than just moving there permanently, but I know that the more negative I am about his plans the greater likelihood there is that our relationship will suffer.  So, we'll see what happens.  By the way, they already met in person a few months ago when she and her family were here for a wedding so it hasn't been 100% online dating.  I did tell him that you never really know a person until you live with him/her, so I wish them the best of luck and I am staying out of it.

The Netherlands is a nice country 😊 I came here many years ago from the UK and decided to stay permanently. It's also one of the easier European countries to manage in if you don't speak the language (although learning dutch is obviously a big advantage!)

I came here because of my job, after watching 90DF I feel I've been approaching things all wrong when my boss is being a jerk - perhaps I should be yelling at him BUT I LEFT EVERYTHING BEHIND TO BE HERE WITH YOU

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TVandWine

TVandWine

On 8/26/2023 at 3:00 PM, Squishy Tomato said:

Kimberley's reaction is completely over the top. It is possible to express disappointment or dissatisfaction without screeching like a banshee. I have zero patience for histrionics. 

I’m going to give Kimberly a pass on this (for now, I’m sure my charitable mood will pass the more I see) for being exhausted and disappointed and letting it all out in an explosion of feelings and then getting more and more worked up at feeling dismissed. 

Full disclosure, I’d have murdered them both of I was there! 

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