Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[EtheltoTillie]

My mom was a champion ironer! 

18 hours ago, Ancaster said:

I grew up ironing because my mum hated doing it so she would pay me, since I was cheaper (and better) than the cleaning lady - her other option.  I even took an iron to college - and used it.

I'm really not that sad - I just love putting on a crisp, ironed t-shirt or pair of PJs, rather than something rumpled.  On the other hand, I don't wear makeup.

I watch TV while I'm doing it, so it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

Same, while my mom was a great ironer, when I was a teen she would pay me 10 cents a piece so I could earn extra money.  Same board pictured above!  Old school GE steam iron. 

[Dimity]

2 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

My mom was a champion ironer! 

Same.  My Mom could also fold a fitted sheet so that it looked like a flat sheet, not the crumpled ball that it looks like when I "fold" it!  Must be something about that generation of women!

[EtheltoTillie]

So here's the sad saga of the vintage board I found on the streets of NYC.  Boy, was I excited.  It has that cool fifties lettering!  It was only two blocks from my apartment!

Anyway, the leg structure was impossible to tangle with.  Each time you wanted to set it up you would struggle mightily and it didn't stand balanced.  No wonder it was discarded.   I was so disappointed.  I removed the wood top from the base.  I discarded the base and I'm saving the top, as I might come up with a solution to add better legs.

You might think the legs don't look much different from my mom's board pictured above, but they really are.

 

Edited June 25 by EtheltoTillie

[SoMuchTV]

52 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

  I tried to buy another one for my weekend house and couldn't find one with the same leg structure. 

I totally respect and even admire your love of all things iron-y, but an ironing board in my second house is not my idea of a getaway! 

[EtheltoTillie]

3 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

I totally respect and even admire your love of all things iron-y, but an ironing board in my second house is not my idea of a getaway! 

But it's for my sewing room!

[EtheltoTillie]

My last comments on ironing today:

1)  It's not so easy to use one of those built-in boards.  Not enough room to spread out or manipulate the iron. 

2) Speaking of ease of setting up the ironing board, as @shapeshifter mentioned, once I moved out for college, my mother set up the ironing board permanently in my room.  Previously we ironed in the kitchen. 

[Ancaster]

At this point I think all I can say is that I'm grateful that there's a forum where it's okay to have opinions about ironing boards.

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

Same.  My Mom could also fold a fitted sheet so that it looked like a flat sheet, not the crumpled ball that it looks like when I "fold" it!  Must be something about that generation of women!

My daughter hates it  -  I'm blessed with the same ability.  All I can say is patience and practice.  I learned when fitted sheets first came on the market though.

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, Dimity said:

My Mom could also fold a fitted sheet so that it looked like a flat sheet, not the crumpled ball that it looks like when I "fold" it! 

That's my mom's superpower, too.  She has walked me through it several times, but I just cannot do it.  It comes together better than the crumpled ball, as you so aptly described, that results from my dad's folding, but not like hers.

I can paint trim without needing to tape the wall and vice versa, though; that's my superpower. 

[annzeepark914]

I love fitted sheets on the bed. I loathe them coming out of the dryer 🤬.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Picture 1:  Mom's board!

Nice rug!
Did your Mom design and/or hook it?

[Absolom]

39 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

I love fitted sheets on the bed. I loathe them coming out of the dryer 🤬.

Most people I know these days skip the folding and go straight from the dryer to putting the sheets back on the bed.  I only practiced the taming of the fitted sheets in recent years for the crib sheets at my daughter's and the daycare sheets.  She always left those for me to fold when I was visiting.  

[Ancaster]

13 hours ago, Bastet said:

 

I can paint trim without needing to tape the wall and vice versa, though; that's my superpower. 

That's a superpower for sure.  I've been watching a design show where people haven't been taping when they paint and I just thought they were cheating (as in not showing all the tv hidden behind the scenes stuff).  Now I know I should just bow down to people with these superpowers.  And you,  @Bastet

Edited June 26 by Ancaster

[EtheltoTillie]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Nice rug!
Did your Mom design and/or hook it?

Thanks but neither. It was selected by my late artistic designer friend Peter. How I miss him. He created an amazing environment for me. 

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

My mom was a champion ironer! 

Mine was too. She was an expert seamstress too. She used those old fashioned "sewing hams" for sleeves and pockets. Yeah, it was something about that generation for sure. That first ironing board you posted the picture of is very familiar indeed!

She also had a sewing room with a dress form in it. I used to help her cut out patterns when she made clothes. I always envied her talent but I somehow never had the manual dexterity or patience for sewing, knitting and crocheting like she did. I did have a period of doing needlepoint with her but that didn't last long. She made my wedding gown by hand and that is a treasure for sure.

I do have an ability for art and appreciation for architecture, though. And of course like my mom I have a talent for cooking. So there is that. I passed on going to the HS of Music and Art and Art and Design to go to Bronx Science even though I got into both schools for art. I don't regret the decision, though!

[GHScorpiosRule]

13 hours ago, Dimity said:

Same.  My Mom could also fold a fitted sheet so that it looked like a flat sheet, not the crumpled ball that it looks like when I "fold" it!  Must be something about that generation of women!

 

10 hours ago, Bastet said:

That's my mom's superpower, too.  She has walked me through it several times, but I just cannot do it.  It comes together better than the crumpled ball, as you so aptly described, that results from my dad's folding, but not like hers.

 

My Peoples! No matter how many youtube videos I watch, I can never, ever get the damned fitted sheet to fold flat to look like a flat sheet!

[fairffaxx]

I learned from the master:  Martha Stewart!

[Yeah No]

16 minutes ago, fairffaxx said:

I learned from the master:  Martha Stewart!

That was hysterical! I actually saw how to do this somewhere else years ago and and failed and never tried it again. After seeing this video I don't feel so bad. Some people just don't have the knack for stuff like this. Ever since I gave up I feel better. And life's too short for me to fret the small stuff.

[Minivanessa]

On 6/24/2024 at 10:27 PM, Ancaster said:

II'm really not that sad - I just love putting on a crisp, ironed t-shirt or pair of PJs, rather than something rumpled.  On the other hand, I don't wear makeup.

I watch TV while I'm doing it, so it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

Ah, that sparked memories.

Before I retired from the full time workforce, my M-F work clothes included tailored trousers and blazers/jackets, and oxford cloth shirts. There used to a be a "Hong Kong tailor" rep* who would come to town twice a year. Every year or so I'd order five or six shirts custom made for me. This was after Lands End quit making the shirts I liked. On a cost-per-wearing basis those shirts were a good value. I hated synthetic shirts/blouses as all-day office wear. These shirts were cotton or mostly cotton blends. Yes, they had to be ironed. And they held up well to constant wear. 

During football season, I usually set up the ironing board so I could watch Monday Night Football while I did the ironing.

I like the smell of freshly ironed clothes. 

Sadly, age and lessening hand strength, plus some tendonitis (and probably some arthritis), means I'm not up to big ironing sessions like I used to do. But I do still iron some things now and then. I used to have a steamer which I also liked using, but it died and wasn't really worth replacing. 

*He was a nice guy. Lived in California and worked with a company in Hong Kong. His daughter was a deputy DA in LA. I enjoyed talking with him.

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, fairffaxx said:

I learned from the master:  Martha Stewart!

So funny! 
When I was in 3rd and 4th grade we lived in Haddonfield NJ, and my folded fitted sheet looks just like Pat Patterson's on the show who was also from there.

        👆Flat (top sheet)                        Fitted (bottom sheet)👆

And it looks just fine in the closet. 
Actually, it's the flat sheet I didn't fold "properly."
If I have company, they are not going in my closet; I make the bed. 

I do agree with the workaround of putting the sheet back on the bed because it is a time/work saver, but I like to know I have a spare set for when I'm not well and need clean sheets. 
I wind up alternating them anyway because one set is a nicer beige, but this set is a better quality.

Plus, sometimes I want to take a nap before the laundry is done.

Edited June 26 by shapeshifter

[Quof]

The worst is when you head up to bed and realize "Damn, I washed the sheets this morning and was planning to put them back on the bed. They're still in the dryer."
 

[EtheltoTillie]

I'm definitely of the two sets of sheets school.  New one goes on while the other is washing.  Or you can wait a few days to wash.  Clean set saved for the following week. It is too mentally taxing to have to go back later and put on the sheets.  It's all in the perception. 

Edited June 26 by EtheltoTillie

[chitowngirl]

15 minutes ago, Quof said:

The worst is when you head up to bed and realize "Damn, I washed the sheets this morning and was planning to put them back on the bed. They're still in the dryer."
 

Mine are in the dryer! 😆

Scurries off to go make up the bed…

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I'm definitely of the two sets of sheets school.  New one goes on while the other is washing.  Clean set saved for the following week. It is too mentally taxing to have to go back later and put on the sheets.  It's all in the perception. 

I want to be this type of person, but I cannot resist once a week getting into a bed with fresh from the dryer sheets (minus a few hours). Clean sheets from the linen closet are not the same because I do not use fabric softener, scent beads, or dryer sheets. On the nights I will be getting into freshly clean sheets, I take a bath before slipping on some freshly laundered PJs. It's my one night a week of heaven, and I usually sleep very soundly that night. The biggest sign that I came into a lot of money would be me getting into freshly washed sheets every single night done by my new housekeeper.

[Ancaster]

50 minutes ago, Quof said:

The worst is when you head up to bed and realize "Damn, I washed the sheets this morning and was planning to put them back on the bed. They're still in the dryer."
 

Say what?  The real "worst" is when you head to bed and realize the sheets are still in the washing machine!

And please tell me I'm not the only dirty European who doesn't change their sheets every week?  ("I took a bath last year even though I didn't really need it.")

Edited June 26 by Ancaster

[Absolom]

10 hours ago, Ancaster said:

That's a superpower for sure.  I've been watching a design show where people haven't been taping when they paint and I just thought they were cheating (as in not showing all the tv hidden behind the scenes stuff).  Now I know I should just bow down to people with these superpowers.  And you,  @Bastet

I can free hand trim also.  But give me something big like a fence or a gate and I'm messy.

I do have that mythical creature of a housekeeper.  If I couldn't afford one, my kids would be paying for one because of the things I can't do.  Making beds is one of them.  The housekeeper thinks extra sheets are a waste except keeping my last set for an emergency so they go straight from the bed to the washer and she makes sure they're dry and back on the bed.  I had to get the old set out and refold the fitted sheet after she left the last time I got (kids gifted) new sheets.  It's a good thing all her clients like freshly laundered sheets.  

Edited June 26 by Absolom

[Ancaster]

Okay, here's another thing that's now worrying me as I look at the pile waiting to be ironed with my lovely new iron - I iron my pillow cases.  And my tea towels (dish towels).  And I have an order for my ironing, from easy to complicated.  Oy.  I think I may need to join a support group - not to understand what the issue is but how to celebrate it and share tips.

[Quof]

31 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

On the nights I will be getting into freshly clean sheets, I take a bath before slipping on some freshly laundered PJs. It's my one night a week of heaven, and I usually sleep very soundly that night.

Top tip - do it on Sundays.  It helps overcome that Sunday night dread "The weekend is over, I have to go to work tomorrow" with "goody, I get clean sheets". 

[EtheltoTillie]

@Ancaster I sometimes iron the pillowcases.  Years ago when we did not have a laundry room in our building, we sent sheets out to a commercial laundry where they were pressed on one of those giant rollers  So wonderful.  But the commercial laundry wore out the sheets faster. 

Edited June 26 by EtheltoTillie

[EtheltoTillie]

@Ancaster I think you need to read the works of Cheryl Mendelson.  She is obsessive about cleaning and laundry.  Here's her book on laundry

https://www.amazon.com/Laundry-Comforts-Caring-Clothes-Linens/dp/0743271467

I have her Home Comforts book and the laundry book.  She also covers how to fold the fitted sheets.  She's really a bit of a kook, but I also appreciate her thoroughness and attention to detail.  She lives in NYC and has also written novels.  Her Harvard Law School degree had to be good for something!

Edited June 26 by EtheltoTillie

[ECM1231]

I've seen those videos of how to fold fitted sheets, but never have mastered it. My husband helps me fold the sheets once out of the dryer, but the fitted ones are still lumpy.

After I got engaged, my mom started buying items for my trousseau. I had been living on my own, but everything in my apartment was hand me downs. Mom was buying bed linens left and right, until my aunt intervened. My mom had been given a dozen sets ( full, not queen), when she married, so she thought she had to do the same for me. My grandparents were dirt poor, but apparently back in the late 40s there were peddlers who came around with all sorts of merchandise and you could buy by putting it on lay away. My aunt convinced my mom that 6 bed linen sets were plenty. I've always had at least a half dozen since married. I've switched to queen size mattress in 2 guest bedrooms, so that my son and his wife are comfortable and so, extra sets come in handy. My 3 y.o. grandson looks lost sleeping on a queen mattress, all by his lonesome. 😂

[Ancaster]

5 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

@Ancaster I think you need to read the works of Cheryl Mendelson.  She is obsessive about cleaning and laundry.  Here's her book on laundry

https://www.amazon.com/Laundry-Comforts-Caring-Clothes-Linens/dp/0743271467

I have her Home Comforts book and the laundry book.  She also covers how to fold the fitted sheets.  She's really a bit of a kook, but I also appreciate her thoroughness and attention to detail.  She lives in NYC and has also written novels.  Her Harvard Law School degree had to be good for something!

Fantastic!  Thank you.  I have no interest in doing any other household chore, but I'll happily read this kind of book so will start with the laundry one!

[chitowngirl]

25 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

Okay, here's another thing that's now worrying me as I look at the pile waiting to be ironed with my lovely new iron - I iron my pillow cases.  And my tea towels (dish towels).  And I have an order for my ironing, from easy to complicated.  Oy.  I think I may need to join a support group - not to understand what the issue is but how to celebrate it and share tips.

I love freshly ironed things! Nothing like a crisp, ironed blouse😊. I also have a set of napkins I use when it’s my turn in the rotation to host my friends for dessert, about every 6 weeks or so. The table looks so nice with nice, ironed napkins! I usually rotate between two sets of sheets, but it’s hot again and I couldn’t be bothered to fold the ones I just washed. 

Yes, the bed is now made up! 

I think I need to pull the trigger on getting a housekeeper every other week to do the dusting, bathroom cleaning, and vacuuming. I’m tired of it! I don’t mind doing the big jobs of cabinet cleaning, curtains, etc. That feels satisfying. The day to day upkeep though…

[Ancaster]

7 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I've seen those videos of how to fold fitted sheets, but never have mastered it. My husband helps me fold the sheets once out of the dryer, but the fitted ones are still lumpy.

After I got engaged, my mom started buying items for my trousseau. I had been living on my own, but everything in my apartment was hand me downs. Mom was buying bed linens left and right, until my aunt intervened. My mom had been given a dozen sets ( full, not queen), when she married, so she thought she had to do the same for me. My grandparents were dirt poor, but apparently back in the late 40s there were peddlers who came around with all sorts of merchandise and you could buy by putting it on lay away. My aunt convinced my mom that 6 bed linen sets were plenty. I've always had at least a half dozen since married. I've switched to queen size mattress in 2 guest bedrooms, so that my son and his wife are comfortable and so, extra sets come in handy. My 3 y.o. grandson looks lost sleeping on a queen mattress, all by his lonesome. 😂

My parents grew up in Europe during WWII.  Plus they were from a part of the UK known for its thrift!  It took a while to convince my mum that she didn't need to make the sheets last longer by cutting them in half and sewing them back so the old end was the new middle.  (Sorry if this doesn't make sense.)

[Ancaster]

3 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

 

I think I need to pull the trigger on getting a housekeeper every other week to do the dusting, bathroom cleaning, and vacuuming. I’m tired of it! I don’t mind doing the big jobs of cabinet cleaning, curtains, etc. That feels satisfying. The day to day upkeep though…

Pull that trigger!

 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I cannot resist once a week getting into a bed with fresh from the dryer sheets (minus a few hours). Clean sheets from the linen closet are not the same because I do not use fabric softener, scent beads, or dryer sheets. On the nights I will be getting into freshly clean sheets, I take a bath before slipping on some freshly laundered PJs. It's my one night a week of heaven, and I usually sleep very soundly that night.

Same for me, but lately it's often every other week, and now I do alternate the 2 sets of sheets. 

But in the 80s and 90s I rented houses that had clotheslines, and that is even better.

[EtheltoTillie]

20 minutes ago, Ancaster said:

My parents grew up in Europe during WWII.  Plus they were from a part of the UK known for its thrift!  It took a while to convince my mum that she didn't need to make the sheets last longer by cutting them in half and sewing them back so the old end was the new middle.  (Sorry if this doesn't make sense.)

I knew about that sheet trick from books--maybe Little House on the Prairie series. 

@chitowngirl Yes, I second pulling the trigger on hiring housekeeping help.  I do have help.  We started hiring help many years ago.  It saved us from fighting over something neither of us wanted to do or had the time to do.  There's still daily upkeep (e.g., cleaning after meals) and laundry.  I also like tackling a bigger task where you see results, like cleaning out the refrigerator. 

I realize someone just mentioned fabric softener on the sheets.  I don't use fabric softener for anything.  I like crisp sheets and don't want the residue on towels. 

We went on a cruise with my cousin and her husband.  We were all doing laundry in the hallway laundry room.  My cousin lost a dollar in the dispenser machine and didn't get her little box of fabric softener.  She was having a tantrum for an hour.  She said she needed soft undies.  That is a direct quote. 

[Absolom]

46 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I think I need to pull the trigger on getting a housekeeper every other week to do the dusting, bathroom cleaning, and vacuuming. I’m tired of it! I don’t mind doing the big jobs of cabinet cleaning, curtains, etc. That feels satisfying. The day to day upkeep though…

Do it.  It's so liberating.  

Folding the fitted sheets you have to sort of use your hand as an iron flattening all rough or wrinkled patches.  Lining up the corners must be exact and again flatten with your hand.  It's time consuming at first, but then you'll get fast.  Eight to ten day care sheets a week brought my skill level back up quickly.  For awhile both kids had daycare sheets! 😂

Edited June 26 by Absolom

[chitowngirl]

25 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I realize someone just mentioned fabric softener on the sheets.  I don't use fabric softener for anything.  I like crisp sheets and don't want the residue on towels. 

I use dryer balls. 

[Dimity]

38 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

My cousin lost a dollar in the dispenser machine and didn't get her little box of fabric softener.  She was having a tantrum for an hour.  She said she needed soft undies.  That is a direct quote. 

I don't care about soft but I loathe static cling and I've yet to find a good substitute for bounce sheets.  I know people who swear by dryer balls but they haven't worked for me.

[shapeshifter]

59 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I don't care about soft but I loathe static cling and I've yet to find a good substitute for bounce sheets.  I know people who swear by dryer balls but they haven't worked for me.

I loathe the cling too, but I get eczema and migraines if there's any perfumes in the laundry products, so I had to give up the dryer sheets when the fragrance-free sheets were no longer fragrance-free. 

I've never hired a cleaning person. Mom did as soon as she went back to work when I was a teen, and my sister had a cleaning person until she retired. My sister and I do both like to clean. It's probably the only thing we have in common, LOL.
But I have to pace myself now. No point in overdoing it.
And just in case I live to 95, I do not want to run out of money because I spent it on something I really don't want. 
But I am still hoping to find my so-called forever home.

[Bastet]

7 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I'm definitely of the two sets of sheets school.  New one goes on while the other is washing.  Or you can wait a few days to wash.

Same here.  The main reason I have two sets of sheets is I don't want to look at the same color 365 days of the year, so I alternate between sage green and dark brown.  But I also like that it means I don't have to wash the sheets the day I strip the bed if I don't want to.

7 hours ago, Ancaster said:

And please tell me I'm not the only dirty European who doesn't change their sheets every week?  ("I took a bath last year even though I didn't really need it.")

For most of my life I did it weekly, but I often don't have the energy for that anymore.  Leaving the same sheets on for a couple of weeks is not going to harm me (or my cat) in any way, so if I don't feel like it, I don't do it.

Edited June 26 by Bastet

[Dimity]

3 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I loathe the cling too, but I get eczema and migraines if there's any perfumes in the laundry products, so I had to give up the dryer sheets when the fragrance-free sheets were no longer fragrance-free. 

I have eczema but so far so good for me with the product I use.  I agree with you though if I end up having to choose I'll just have to cope with the static cling!

[graybrown bird]

I gave up fabric softener years ago, couldn't stand the smell suddenly.  I use a second rinse in the washer and woolen dryer balls in the dryer.  Laundry comes out very clean and soft.

[shapeshifter]

17 minutes ago, graybrown bird said:

I gave up fabric softener years ago, couldn't stand the smell suddenly.  I use a second rinse in the washer and woolen dryer balls in the dryer.  Laundry comes out very clean and soft.

Unfortunately I'm allergic to wool/lanolin too, and I seem to have passed it down to my fair-skinned older grandbaby.

Fortunately I no longer have pet fur to contend with except for what follows me home from my daughter's house — which also makes it easier to clean without help. 

Sensitivity to smells does seem to increase with age for those of us so afflicted. 
The one of my 3 daughters who had children is now sensitive to perfumes. I have a theory that it has something to do with sharing the blood through the placenta of another person with differently triggered histamines etc.

 

I keep seeing those ads on my Over The Air TV stations saying Medicare will pay a family member to help care for an elderly relative, but I cannot imagine too many strong, young, unemployed people who would be mentally and temperamentally suited to helping an elderly person take showers (not something I need now).
Or maybe it's a second job because housing costs are so high?
Still, this seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

 

Edited June 26 by shapeshifter
forgot the apostrophe

[EtheltoTillie]

25 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

 

I keep seeing those ads on my Over The Air TV stations saying Medicare will pay a family member to help care for an elderly relative, but I cannot imagine too many strong, young, unemployed people who would be mentally and temperamentally suited to helping an elderly person take showers (not something I need now).
Or maybe it's a second job because housing costs are so high?
Still, this seems like a disaster waiting to happen.

 

It's Medicaid and not Medicare.  I actually know all about this program through my elder law practice, which since you are in NYS you are seeing ads for our NYS program.  It's called Consumer Directed Personal Care.  You can hire anyone you want to be your aide, and then the aide gets paid through a Medicaid payroll system.  I am giving you a very brief explanation.  You'd be surprised how many people are doing this.  You are right it's not for everyone, but it's a godsend for many.  Then there are some people who think the program is rife with fraud . . .  Anyway, it's a process by which first you have to be approved for a number of hours then you enroll your aides to be paid.  It's not that easy to get sufficient hours.  It's not just for showers.  It's diapers, toileting, meals, walking, escort to doctor.  It can be an all-day job, not a second job.  There's a big aide shortage state wide, so if people can find family members or friends willing to help it's good. 

Edited June 26 by EtheltoTillie

[EtheltoTillie]

It takes a very special personality to have the patience to do the elder care work, especially if people have dementia, whether they are relatives or just strangers who are assigned to a case. 

[annzeepark914]

3 hours ago, Ancaster said:

Okay, here's another thing that's now worrying me as I look at the pile waiting to be ironed with my lovely new iron - I iron my pillow cases.  And my tea towels (dish towels).  And I have an order for my ironing, from easy to complicated.  Oy.  I think I may need to join a support group - not to understand what the issue is but how to celebrate it and share tips.

I used to do this but now *only* if the pillowcase are wrinkled (don't wanna get that crease on my face overnight!)

[Dimity]

56 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

There's a big aide shortage state wide, so if people can find family members or friends willing to help it's good. 

Too add to this not everyone can afford to go into assisted living facilities and those that are subsidized have ridiculously long waiting lists.  In many cases people are now being given the opportunity to be paid for care they are already providing.  Care that can mean they are not able to work outside the home, or at least not work full-time. 

Sadly, I am sure there are people taking advantage of elders - there are always going to be horrible people out there - but for the most part, in most cases, enabling family members to provide care in the home for an aging relative is a good thing.

[Minivanessa]

@Ancaster - I ❤️ ironed pillowcases. I don't get out the iron and board to iron them every time. But sometimes if I've left a load of sheets in the dryer too long and they come out super wrinkled (I'm sure nobody else ever does that), or if I'm already ironing things, I'll iron the pillowcases. And sometimes also the top 1/4 of the flat sheet. 

I've been thinking of this, and I hope it's okay to share. I think I'll spoiler tag it - because it refers to the death of a friend.

Spoiler

I had an enduring friendship with a woman I met because we were in the same profession. As with probably most friendships, we had preferences and character traits in common, and of course we differed in other respects. For instance, we were at different spots on the introversion - extroversion continuum. I recharged by having quiet downtime, she was energized by a lot of socializing. Oddly, we both liked ironing, although she ironed things like pjs that I never bothered to iron. She was definitely a pillowcase ironer. Always.

She developed health problems as we aged. She lived in a gorgeous high-rise condo building which had a big basement-level laundry room, but no washer/dryer in her own condo. The last year of her life was - ugly. She was already on oxygen with compromised lungs when COVID hit, and wisely isolated herself because she was so vulnerable. I - and others- did what we could to help her but of course before there was a vaccine, we were wary of inadvertently exposing her to the virus. So I rarely went into her condo except very briefly. Finally as we started getting vaccines, I was able to really visit with her. She was by then quite weak and under in-home hospice care - although the hospice planning nurse had said they'd review her situation "in three months" so we were hoping that was a good sign. On one of my last visits I offered to take her laundry home and do it. The laundry batch included a set of sheets and pillowcases. I ironed the pillowcases before I took all the clean folded laundry back to her. One of the hospice aides changed the sheets. And, sadly, the next week my friend died at home. I worked with her sister to clean up the condo afterward. I saw that the pillowcases I'd washed and ironed were in use on her bed. I've spent more time than I should have since my friend's death, second-guessing myself: could I, should I, have done more to help her during the pandemic, then remembering how vulnerable she was before vaccines, etc. But I felt some peace when I saw those ironed pillowcases on her bed, glad that I gave her that last bit of comfort and tidiness. 

Hope that's not an objectionable story.