S24.E34: Finale

[Pop Tart]

Air date: 9.25.22

We’re going to leave this thread open during the Finale, but this thread should stick mostly to the Finale talk, and Overall Season Discussion should be taken to the Live Feeds thread.

[Lady Calypso]

Yes! It's finale night! Let's go!

*Also note some regions will have an eight minute delay*

[Lady Whistleup]

Taylor's outfit is too 70's disco ball for my tastes.

[Callaphera]

3 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

*Also note some regions will have an eight minute delay*

Thanks for the heads up to change from CBS East to Global Winnipeg.

Shoutout to Britney Haynes losing her dignity on a slippery wiener. Nice to see them pulling old props out of storage.

[Lady Calypso]

Geez, looking at this comp, I didn't expect the spinning platform to be so...violent at thrashing the three around.

[HighQueenEB]

2 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

Geez, looking at this comp, I didn't expect the spinning platform to be so...violent at thrashing the three around.

And how about allowing a moment for the live feedsters to be pissed that this was the LONGEST endurance comp of the season and we were deprived of seeing it play out on the feeds?  Hmph.

[Lady Calypso]

So, Turner wins part 1. Not shocking once you see how much Monte/Taylor were being thrown around while Turner looked as solid as a brick.

Part 2 looks interesting and....actually somewhat easy? At least to me, I feel like I'd know these fairly well.

[Callaphera]

I know that Punk-A-Roo is a play on Bonnaroo but I always think of the Polka Dot Door. Polkaroo! (Sorry to all the Canadians having flashbacks to their childhoods now.)

Edited September 26, 2022 by Callaphera

[Lady Whistleup]

Part 2 of the HoH actually looks kind of easy.

[Callaphera]

2 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Part 2 of the HoH actually looks kind of easy.

Other than the back and forthness, this is one of the easier Final HoH comps. Even the fake titles aren't that confusing.

Edited September 26, 2022 by Callaphera

[Jules1]

Is the audio sync about 5 seconds off or is it just me?

[Lady Calypso]

Damn, if it took Monte 6:41 and Taylor just over 7 minutes, that's an easy comp for F3.

[Jules1]

1 minute ago, Jules1 said:

Is the audio sync about 5 seconds off or is it just me?

Never mind, it just fixed itself.

[Callaphera]

You know, most robots try to look lifelike. And then we got Will Kirby out here trying to do the absolute opposite. He looks as plastic and sculpted like a Ken doll right down to the hair but at least he was smart enough to get his fillers and Botox done earlier so it had time to settle.

[Lady Whistleup]

Dr. Will is a nightmare of Botox and face fillers.

[Callaphera]

Has Alyssa always had that atrocious posture or is it just because she's sitting next to her ten second ex?

[Lamb18]

What is Monte eating there? Meatballs on mashed potatoes?

[Callaphera]

1 minute ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Dr. Will is a nightmare of Botox and face fillers.

You must not watch any of the Housewives. This is almost tastefully done this season!

[Lady Whistleup]

Sounds like the jury thinks: Monte > Taylor >>>>>> Turner.

[30 Helens]

Heh. Lots of Turner shade. And Will has been polished to a high sheen.

[Lamb18]

I'm way behind you guys. I'm on commercials between the second HOH comp and whatever happens next. Sounds like it's jury discussion with Dr. Will.

Bummed for Taylor.

[Callaphera]

Aw, I'm gonna miss Jasmine and her ability to always bring it back to herself. Also her one-up game. And her foot. And Nicole wiping her ass for her when she sprained her ankle. Memories!

[30 Helens]

Monte has Michael, Kyle. Taylor has Brittany, Terrance. Turner has nobody.

[Lady Calypso]

Wow, so what I'm getting is that Turner loses, no matter what, and Monte has a slight edge over Taylor, but it's really going to be close if they're in F2 together. 

[Callaphera]

1 minute ago, 30 Helens said:

Monte has Michael, Kyle. Taylor has Brittany, Terrance. Turner has nobody.

The overwhelming funk of unwashed person and clothes will do that to you. The cheese stands alone.

[30 Helens]

Everybody say a prayer that Turner wins round 3 and takes Taylor. The only hope for a satisfying finale.

[pennben]

35 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Taylor's outfit is too 70's disco ball for my tastes.

The outfit that changed the entire season for Taylor. Sparkle on outfit! Sparkle on Taylor!

[HighQueenEB]

Just now, 30 Helens said:

Monte has Michael, Kyle. Taylor has Brittany, Terrance. Turner has nobody.

Monte has Indy also.  Taylor has Jasmine.  Disagree about Terrance - he's solidly with Turner, IMO.  Alyssa and Joseph are undecided, IMO.  I think Alyssa is leaning Monte, while Joseph is leaning Taylor.

[30 Helens]

1 minute ago, Callaphera said:

The cheese stands alone.

I guess that makes him the Limburger.

[Callaphera]

...they're really gonna drag this fest thing out to the end, eh? Grodner is over the moon that her theme didn't fizzle and die like all the rest of them. Fine, you won this one Grody. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

[Lady Calypso]

Oh, this is going to be nervewracking.

[Callaphera]

Upon hearing Jasmine's cornpone routine again, Turner immediately thought about whether he could get his belt off in time to hang himself before Production could barrel in like a linebacker to tackle him.

[Lamb18]

Oh gosh, Jasmine sounds like someone turned the record player up from 33 to 78. Or maybe took a big whiff of helium.

[Callaphera]

1 minute ago, Lamb18 said:

Oh gosh, Jasmine sounds like someone turned the record player up from 33 to 78. Or maybe took a big whiff of helium.

I can't wait for Jasmine to learn that her muffins were overshadowed by Taylor's Lays this season. Jasmine stays losing.

[Lady Whistleup]

Damn Turner :( 

[Lady Calypso]

My heart was pumping SO HARD.

Now, Monte, TAKE TAYLOR, GODDAMNIT, TAKE TAYLOR.

[30 Helens]

Turner couldn’t even get the Alyssa question. More reason for her to hate him. 
Congratulations, Monte. Everyone can tune out now.

[HighQueenEB]

Just now, Lady Calypso said:

My heart was pumping SO HARD.

Now, Monte, TAKE TAYLOR, GODDAMNIT, TAKE TAYLOR.

Even if Monte takes Taylor, he's going to win because there's no way Turner doesn't vote for him, even if he betrays their F2 deal.

[Lady Calypso]

Just now, HighQueenEB said:

Even if Monte takes Taylor, he's going to win because there's no way Turner doesn't vote for him, even if he betrays their F2 deal.

If Turner had won, Taylor would have had NO chance because he was evicting her

This way, she still has a chance, and that's something.

[Lady Whistleup]

I feel like Monte has the votes locked in if he takes Taylor. Terrance, Kyle, Michael, Alyssa, Turner - Monte.

[30 Helens]

Against Monte, Taylor gets maybe 2 votes. Against Turner, Monte gets all the votes. It’s over.

[Callaphera]

Just now, 30 Helens said:

Congratulations, Monte. Everyone can tune out now.

There has to be at least five minutes worth of stuff that we can use to make fun of Kyle. Which is like having sex with Kyle thirty times!

This is the new way superior time measurement. Forget minutes and seconds, we're measuring in Kyle fucks now.

[dizzyd]

Turner’s interview made no sense. Maybe that’s what he thought but not what really happened. He didn’t have a good resume to win. 

Edited September 26, 2022 by dizzyd

[Lady Whistleup]

Monte should win this easily.

[30 Helens]

THE CHEESE SITS ON THE JURY.

[Lady Calypso]

Oh, thank god!

Taylor still has a hard uphill battle, BUT she still has a shot and a slim shot is better than no shot.

[Lady Whistleup]

I don't think Taylor can win. I might be wrong but I don't think so.

[30 Helens]

Now Taylor’s only hope is for AFP. If she takes Monte on that cruise, I’m demanding a take back on my votes.

[Lady Calypso]

From first boot (if not for a twist) to F2.

That is seriously amazing. All kudos to Taylor. She's gonna KILL her answers.

[Callaphera]

Am I tripping? It seemed pretty obvious that Monte's big move was taking out Michael on Turner's HoH. Taking out Turner is the opposite of a big move. It's more like putting a dirty sock in the hamper where it belongs - something that Turner never learned how to do during his time in the house.