S04.E24: Life After Lockup: Bride or Fugitive?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Nicolle having cold feet worries Tia, while Daonte hatches a perilous plan to hijack the wedding day; Puppy wants a wedding before she might have to return to jail; Marcelino plans a sexy date night; Shawn's big ask sends Sara's mom storming out.

The wedding of the century between Tia and Nicolle. Daonte will win her back.  She is a hostage!!!! Tia is manipulating Nicolle, trapping her into marriage!!!! Please let Derrick be there to watch Daonte's epic humiliation while he wears his best red velvet suit.  Somewhere Mama Daonte is shaking her head and asking herself, "How did I raise such a fool?"

Puppy wants to get new tags, um, a new collar, I mean a wedding ring before she goes back to jail for her ever-so-excellent choice of moving in with her boyfriend without checking with her Parole Officer.  The hits just keep on coming for our favorite pound princess.  Will Eric promise her a forever home? 

Marcellino plans a date night.  PPAL plans a snack break because the excitement will be too much to handle. Did they ever get the furniture back?  Won't someone think of the poor furniture trapped in the non-sober living house. 

Finally beaver-faced Shawn does yet another profoundly stupid thing.  I am still trying to figure out how he manages even the simplest tasks given his exceptional reasoning skills. 

Original air date 2021.12.03

[Gobi]

The marital couple are registered at Meth R Us.

[hookedontv]

On 11/21/2021 at 12:17 PM, Gobi said:

The marital couple are registered at Meth R Us.

As well as at "Bed, Bath, & MotherFucking Crack."

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Not to mention Lucky Larry's Wall Diamond Emporium and Fluffy Frieda's House of Extensions. 

[Pepper Mostly]

Al's House of Quality Wigs, Hairpieces, and Toupees. I hear that Klassy Tats is having a two for one sale on wedding appropriate art as well. 

Hi LAL peeps! Have you checked in with your PO? Are you off tether? And are you sure you want to go through with it? Glad to be here with you all tonight! 

[Gobi]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Al's House of Quality Wigs, Hairpieces, and Toupees. I hear that Klassy Tats is having a two for one sale on wedding appropriate art as well. 

Hi LAL peeps! Have you checked in with your PO? Are you off tether? And are you sure you want to go through with it? Glad to be here with you all tonight! 

Pepper, you know better. Wrong thread.

[hookedontv]

Hi hi hi! 

I can’t stand Tia’s voice. Is she a 95 year old woman? The vocal fry is off the charts. 

[JenE4]

“I found out on social media that Nicolle is getting married. I feel like she wants me to be there.” Yes, Daonte. That’s exactly what a picture posted to her Insta account means. 

Daonte has red velvet shoes to go with his jacket!!!! A golden tiger belt buckle?!?! This fit is more incredible than that clip they’ve been showing for an entire year ever led us to believe. For sure Nicolle is going to ditch Tia at the alter as soon as she sees this velvet dreamboat floating into the park.

Ooh. Grandma and Ray’s cinnamon-sugar toast sounds pretty good. I’m going to have to try that—putting it all in the oven rather than slathering/sprinkling after the toaster. I bet the sugar caramelizes that way. We’ve gotten a lot of questionable [prison] recipes from this show, but finally one worth trying!

Puppy is going to get married by Elvis in Vegas—as long as she can evade arrest. Amber says it all can be cleared up with a phone call, but much better to just go on the lam.

For a minute there, I thought I was watching an episode of Yellowstone, especially with the focus on the Peacock sign (seasons 1-3 now streaming). But it was just a ranch honeymoon for Marce and Brit.

Daonte has the swagger—and no one was there to see him stunting’. Aw. He had his Jimmy JJ Walker swag walk going! Dy-no-mite! Is this a makeshift, forced wedding because Tia told her…or because the producers needed to film a finale?

Daonte has a can of Pepsi in his lap, and Tia is swigging a can of Coke. Is there any more classic match-up? Nicolle is about to take the Pepsi Challenge.

The exasperated “Can I just be a bride now? Instead of a fugitive? (scoff)” delivered like Napoleon Dynamite.

Daonte drives into a ditch and gets stuck in the mud…for absolutely no reason. The road is right there!

Nicole has a whole vanity table set up in the middle of the park bathroom??

Here it is—the moment we’ve all been waiting for (that should have been in LAST season): Daonte in his red velvet suit, police lights flashing behind him, “It’s times like this that make you question, like, ‘Is this what my life has come to?’” They couldn’t devise a more brilliant vignette to portray the Love After Lockup franchise.

Thank god Daonte’s shoes didn’t get ruined by the mud!

Daonte’s like, “Jesus, grab the wheel!” And Jesus drive him straight into a ditch to get the hell away from Nicolle. But, why listen to signs from the universe? I’m already here!

[Keywestclubkid]

Why would this girl get you into this shit? Nicole didn’t make you do anything dude. This man is beyond delusional and it’s borderline creepy at this point that in his head she did this to HIM 

[Pepper Mostly]

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

For sure Nicolle is going to ditch Tia at the alter as soon as she sees this velvet dreamboat floating into the park.

@JenE4 I loved your whole post but this? GOLD. 

 

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

The exasperated “Can I just be a bride now? Instead of a fugitive? (scoff)” delivered like Napoleon Dynamite.

Bless her heart, Puppy is just stupid. One phone call, Puppy! Can Puppy be dumb as a brick instead of high as fuck? No Puppy, you're both. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

I seriously do think Daonte thinks Nicolle will see him in his red velvet glory, immediately swoon, and ask him to marry her instead of Tia. Daonte also thinks that, since they are both dressed for the occasion, they will get married that instance.  No need to wait!  There's an officiant handy.  Marriage license be damned! 

When we saw the previews with Daonte espousing on what his life had come to, I expected Nicolle got him in trouble.  Nope.  On a perfectly dry road that only has one, single direction lane, Daonte drove his car off the road into a ditch..  Were his velvet slippers too slippery?  Was he busy looking in the mirror while he adjusted his bowtie?  How the heck did he drive off the road?  Jesus take the wheel indeed.  

Puppy's fiance was wearing flashier women's jewelry than the ring he gave her.  I need to know the story there.  He was wearing a "diamond" tennis bracelet and "diamond" necklaces.  There is something so odd about that.  They jewels really set off his logo t-shirt.  He is also so obviously stoned out of his mind whenever we see him.  He can barely sit up and his eyes are bright red.  He's a keeper! 

The men were showing up and showing off this episode.  Well, except for Shawn who did such a poor job shaving it looked like he was trying to grow a Hitler mustache.  Then again, should we trust Shawn with a razor?  It's amazing he hasn't accidentally killed himself yet. 

[Andyourlittledog2]

10 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Ooh. Grandma and Ray’s cinnamon-sugar toast sounds pretty good. I’m going to have to try that—putting it all in the oven rather than slathering/sprinkling after the toaster. I bet the sugar caramelizes that way. We’ve gotten a lot of questionable [prison] recipes from this show, but finally one worth trying!

I didn't know there was any other way to do it.  It is wonderful.

I spend the entire episode thinking 'why am I watching this shit?'.  Seriously, most of these people make my skin crawl.  Special mention to Puppy's boyfriend (I can't imagine risking going to jail for years over this guy), Shawn (at any time or place), and Daonte and his ruby red slippers.

I felt sorry for Tia that Daonte is trying to ruin her wedding. I didn't feel sorry for Nicolle who is a drama queen with delusions of grandeur and a well used damsel in distress routine to get into or out of whatever situations she finds herself in.

Shawn is such a stalker. He seems hellbent on roping Sara in and possessing her before she realizes what a piece of shit he really is. I think it's far too late, Shawn. 

Grandma for the win! 

Sadly I am absolutely certain that all these people and scenarios are strictly producer driven for the story so it's hard to get too invested. Regardless, I do like Grandma and Ray. I hope things work out for him. Sans Brittany of course.

[Jeanne222]

Can’t stand Brittany. Poor Ray. She is so unappealing in every single way!

[SemiCharmedLife]

On 12/4/2021 at 5:11 AM, JenE4 said:

“I found out on social media that Nicolle is getting married. I feel like she wants me to be there.” Yes, Daonte. That’s exactly what a picture posted to her Insta account means. 

Daonte has red velvet shoes to go with his jacket!!!! A golden tiger belt buckle?!?! This fit is more incredible than that clip they’ve been showing for an entire year ever led us to believe. For sure Nicolle is going to ditch Tia at the alter as soon as she sees this velvet dreamboat floating into the park.

Ooh. Grandma and Ray’s cinnamon-sugar toast sounds pretty good. I’m going to have to try that—putting it all in the oven rather than slathering/sprinkling after the toaster. I bet the sugar caramelizes that way. We’ve gotten a lot of questionable [prison] recipes from this show, but finally one worth trying!

Puppy is going to get married by Elvis in Vegas—as long as she can evade arrest. Amber says it all can be cleared up with a phone call, but much better to just go on the lam.

For a minute there, I thought I was watching an episode of Yellowstone, especially with the focus on the Peacock sign (seasons 1-3 now streaming). But it was just a ranch honeymoon for Marce and Brit.

Daonte has the swagger—and no one was there to see him stunting’. Aw. He had his Jimmy JJ Walker swag walk going! Dy-no-mite! Is this a makeshift, forced wedding because Tia told her…or because the producers needed to film a finale?

Daonte has a can of Pepsi in his lap, and Tia is swigging a can of Coke. Is there any more classic match-up? Nicolle is about to take the Pepsi Challenge.

The exasperated “Can I just be a bride now? Instead of a fugitive? (scoff)” delivered like Napoleon Dynamite.

Daonte drives into a ditch and gets stuck in the mud…for absolutely no reason. The road is right there!

Nicole has a whole vanity table set up in the middle of the park bathroom??

Here it is—the moment we’ve all been waiting for (that should have been in LAST season): Daonte in his red velvet suit, police lights flashing behind him, “It’s times like this that make you question, like, ‘Is this what my life has come to?’” They couldn’t devise a more brilliant vignette to portray the Love After Lockup franchise.

Thank god Daonte’s shoes didn’t get ruined by the mud!

Daonte’s like, “Jesus, grab the wheel!” And Jesus drive him straight into a ditch to get the hell away from Nicolle. But, why listen to signs from the universe? I’m already here!

Your post is so great!  

Re:  Daonte's red velvet slippers- I had the same thought the entire time he was out of his car.  Don't get mud on the slippers!!!

[SemiCharmedLife]

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

Edited December 6, 2021 by SemiCharmedLife
completed post

[JustbeingReal]

I wonder what kind of drugs Sara’s mom used to do lol

[Gobi]

4 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

Stalling before the wedding.

[JenE4]

8 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

I think Daonte really said it best: “It’s times like this that make you question, like, ‘Is this what my life has come to?’” 

[anoninrva]

On 11/21/2021 at 12:17 PM, Gobi said:

The marital couple are registered at Meth R Us.

 

[anoninrva]

On 12/4/2021 at 4:40 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

I seriously do think Daonte thinks Nicolle will see him in his red velvet glory, immediately swoon, and ask him to marry her instead of Tia. Daonte also thinks that, since they are both dressed for the occasion, they will get married that instance.  No need to wait!  There's an officiant handy.  Marriage license be damned! 

That reminded me a lot of Tyrice's famous blue suit.

[tvfanatic13]

I cannot stand Brittney. I will preface this with that. But I cannot figure out why she wants to be with Ray. He is perhaps the dullest human I have ever seen on reality TV. Any thoughts of wise posters? 

[TooMuchRealityTV]

8 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

I cannot stand Brittney. I will preface this with that. But I cannot figure out why she wants to be with Ray. He is perhaps the dullest human I have ever seen on reality TV. Any thoughts of wise posters? 

Ray is breathing, around and doesn't run screaming away from her even when he very well should. I imagine a man who didn't need help with $142,000 worth of restitution would push back against her crap more or probably leave. She doesn't seem like a person who could handle a relationship with a person who doesn't blindly go along with her nonsense.

Edited December 7, 2021 by TooMuchRealityTV

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, tvfanatic13 said:

I cannot stand Brittney. I will preface this with that. But I cannot figure out why she wants to be with Ray. He is perhaps the dullest human I have ever seen on reality TV. Any thoughts of wise posters? 

She figures that he’s used to being a prisoner.

[kittle1974]

On 12/6/2021 at 2:01 AM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

I doo

[Mothra]

As The Temptations' legal representative, I hereby formally require that Daonte decease and cyst from comparing his silly red outfit to anything my elegant clients have ever worn.  The idea that the mighty Temps would trash up their graceful and restrained performances with anything approaching pre-tied bow ties gives my clients the vapours.  If Daonte persists in this desecration of my clients' image, retribution will be swift and terrible.  This is the final and only warning.

I mean cyst and deceased.  I was drunk.

Edited December 9, 2021 by Mothra
I was drunk.

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 12/4/2021 at 8:11 AM, JenE4 said:

Daonte has a can of Pepsi in his lap

He took the idea of product placement to a whole ‘nother level.

[Auntie Anxiety]

On 12/6/2021 at 2:01 AM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

So charmin’.

[Mothra]

14 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

He took the idea of product placement to a whole ‘nother level.

He was just glad to see her.

[OoogleEyes]

On 12/6/2021 at 2:01 AM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

Shit happens 

[1011101010001]

On 12/6/2021 at 1:01 AM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I saw on Reddit that someone had posted the image of Nicolle prepping for the wedding in the park bathroom and asked for a caption.  I think that may be fun to try here.  After all, this group is so witty and clever!  Any takers?

My caption:  The Flushing Blushing Bride

Till death do us fart.

[Jeanne222]

On 12/6/2021 at 11:59 AM, tvfanatic13 said:

I cannot stand Brittney. I will preface this with that. But I cannot figure out why she wants to be with Ray. He is perhaps the dullest human I have ever seen on reality TV. Any thoughts of wise posters? 

Ray’s all there is!  It’s Ray or nobody. I feel sorry for the him. 

Brittany and $142,000 restitution!  Lordy.