Ted Lasso Quotes: This is Why it's Hard to Love You

[Whimsy]

Here's where you can put your favorite quotes.  There are SO many!!

[Schweedie]

I've been rewatching season 1 this week, and there was one line that I'd completely forgotten about that cracked me up - when Jamie wanted to talk to Keeley and she wouldn't let him come inside her house because of how they had so much sex there, and she'd had three glasses of wine and it was Pavlovian. Jamie: "Pavlovian? What is that, is that the wine?" Something about his delivery kills me there.

Also, in the same episode Higgins says to Rebecca that a bunch of unemployed gaffers have been calling to ask if there's about to be an opening: "Tony Pulis, Alan Curbishley. Harry Redknapp called three times." At least Pulis and Redknapp are part of a subset of managers that often take over teams threatened with relegation a like halfway through the season (and they often don't last all that long in their jobs either). It's a joke that's basically only funny if you actually follow English football, but I laughed SO hard.

[DEL901]

Here’s a few

https://people.com/tv/ted-lasso-inspirational-quotes/

[KittenPokerCheater]

“If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.”

[Electruck]

“I’m only going to get more wonderful.”

I love Sam.

[Good Queen Jane]

I loved the whole conversation between Roy and Keely about death. I can't reproduce it exactly but I'll put the essence here.

Keely: What if you get hit by a bus?

Roy: Sue the driver. Avenge me, Keely, Avennnge meee!

Keely: No! I'm not going to ruin some driver's life when he killed you by swerving the bus to avoid hitting a child.

Roy: Nobody told me about a kid!

[Turtle Wexler]

I am doing a rewatch and “Does my face look like it’s in the mood for shape-based jokes?” still makes me laugh.

[Schweedie]

I love Jane's line about her friend Finn - "He's like a Rembrandt. Beautiful to look at, but so dim." Wish I could sneak that into a conversation, heh!

Also, rewatching season one I noticed something that made me laugh out loud. In episode ten, how when they're watching that interview with Jamie for motivation and he ends with saying how instant karma is gonna get you? He doesn't actually say 'karma', he says 'caramel'. "Instant caramel, it's gonna get ya." (Maybe everyone else already knew that, but I think his accent made me miss it - even the subtitles say karma.) Oh, Jamie. You're like a Rembrandt.

[Capricasix]

Rebecca: “Shut your little twat mouth or I’ll shut it for you!” *sips her drink* 😄

[whiporee]

Where does Bernard live?

[AstaCharles]

Edwin: "I am going to buy your childhood home and shit in every room!"

 

[Schweedie]

I gotta say, "F*ck you, Piers Morgan" is right up there with the very best lines so far. 

[pennben]

Roy: “Whistle. Whistle.”  The cheap whistle metal hurts his lips.  

Edited October 9, 2021 by pennben

[SoMuchTV]

Hiding my ramblings leading up to my quote.  Not a spoiler but not totally relevant to the spirit of the thread:

Spoiler

 

Placeholder til I get a chance to transcribe the exchange that starts with news on paper vs. digitally, and ends with something like "my refrigerator also has a TV!" 

In the meantime I'll add this anecdote for your amusement.  I have a text message group with my two (grown) daughters.  Our exchange, over the past several hours:

D1:  Have y'all watched the latest Ted Lasso yet?

later...

Me: I have watched it on the TV that is on my refrigerator.

later...

D2:  I think I have the same one!

I guess if they discover this site I've totally outed myself.  But at least I raised them right.  And even taught them to find free trial offers.

 

 

EDIT:  Okay, here we go.  (This is from S2E12.)

Ted:  ... I still get the paper, cuz you can't cut cartoons out of your phone.

Zereaux: Yeah, but you can screenshot them and text them.

Isaac: That's copyright infringement, bruv.

Ted:  You can't hang a screenshot on a fridge, though.

Dani: My refrigerator has a television.

Sam: I think I have the same one!

Edited October 10, 2021 by SoMuchTV

[krankydoodle]

Rebecca [after her initial disgusted reaction to Ted's botched biscuits]: “She’s a sneaky, salty bitch.”
Ted: “Like Heather Locklear on Melrose Place, right?”
Keeley: “That’s exactly how you’d describe her.”
Rebecca: “Mm-ohhh, Heather.”

Ted: “Well, you know my philosophy when it comes to cats, babies, and apologies, Coach: you gotta let ‘em come to you.”

Ted: “Then I’ll look like that fella from The Hangover.”
Beard: “Bradley Cooper?”
Ted: “You’re too good to me.”

[shoregirl]

[mledawn]

12 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Ted:  ... I still get the paper, cuz you can't cut cartoons out of your phone.

(other player whose name I didn't catch): Yeah, but you can screenshot them and text them.

Isaac: That's copyright infringement, bruv.

Ted:  You can't hang a screenshot on a fridge, though.

Dani: My refrigerator has a television.

Sam: I think I have the same one!

I think it was Zoreaux - the goalie from Montreal

[SoMuchTV]

6 hours ago, mledawn said:

I think it was Zoreaux - the goalie from Montreal

Oh yes that's right.  Zoreaux's name was in the cc's but then I got confused about whether that was Isaac's last name.  IMDB only Isaac's first name, but Zoreaux's first name is Thierry.  I've updated my quote.

Sorry about that - back to quotes!

[MargeGunderson]

29 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Oh yes that's right.  Zoreaux's name was in the cc's but then I got confused about whether that was Isaac's last name.  IMDB only Isaac's first name, but Zoreaux's first name is Thierry.  I've updated my quote.

Sorry about that - back to quotes!

MacAdoo-doodle- do!

[LADreamr]

I'm so surprised this isn't already in here:

Roy (about Jamie):

He's a muppet.  I hope he dies of the incurable condition of being a little bitch.

 

ETA:

Roy confronts Jamie about his love confession to Keeley at the funeral:

Jamie: Can I say something first?

Roy: Yeah, that's a good idea, because when I'm done with you, you won't have any teeth, and you'll need them for the talking bit.

 

Roy doesn't have all my favorite lines, his are just the ones that most make me LOL.  I've been on a repeat binge watch this month (several repeats, actually), and it's been fascinating to see all the little things I've missed before.  The thoughtfulness that goes into this show is just one of the things that makes it so special.  I do hope they go on, past season 3.

Edited December 29, 2021 by LADreamr