S08.E22: Afghanistan

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Main topic:  Afghanistan

Other: Zuckerberg's Workroom; Goodbye to the void; Tamron Hall is 50; Texas Hammer vs. Alabama Hammer (personal injury attorneys)

Original air date 2021.08.22

[Annber03]

"Maybe that's the lesson here, Laura. Maybe don't turn countries upside down in the first place!" 

Thank you. Shut the hell up, Carlson and Ingraham (also, Carlson trying to lecture anyone else about history is...hilarious). 

Yeah, I'm not remotely surprised that everything in Afghanistan unfolded as it did simply because war, by its very nature, never ends well for anyone who engages in it or is caught up in it. There's always, always some long-term effects and ramifications that come back to haunt everyone involved later at some point, and new problems that arise from the ones that a war was ostensibly supposed to resolve. Representative Maloney going on about how we managed to both wage war and use compassion fell flat not just because of the SUPER awkward way she tried to make her point, with that burka (seriously, WTF?), but also because he two things can't work in tandem. Individuals caught up in a war may have moments of compassion, perhaps, but a country that is invading another simply cannot also be compassionate at the same time. That's just not how it works. All the food and clothing and whatnot means nothing when you've just had a bomb dropped on your home and half of your family killed by the same people who gave you those things. 

Even the whole argument about us needing to get justice for 9/11...I always wondered why we needed to have a big scale war to get the people involved in that attack in the first place. Seriously, we love to boast all the time about our advanced military technology and weaponry, and how we have the best soldiers in the world...and yet we were supposed to believe that all of that couldn't be used to weed out the 9/11 terrorists on a much smaller scale, in a way that didn't involve a big ol' war and which didn't put innocent people's lives in danger (or at least, tried to minimize that risk as best as possible)? All that top-notch stuff and it still took us years to find Bin Laden? Okay. 

Also didn't help that we had that rather pesky little jaunt into Iraq that distracted us from whatever our supposed initial mission was in Afghanistan, and added even further to the financial and emotional and mental toll of everything. Which is why it's infuriating to hear people from the Bush era "tsk-tsk"-ing the Biden administration over this. They're the ones who started us down this path, they really need to sit down and be quiet. 

It just never ceases to amaze me how we still refuse to learn from all our past military failures. The arrogance to think that we'd be different from every other nation that tried to invade Afghanistan and failed, the fact that a debacle as big as Vietnam didn't stop us from making the same bad choices in Afghanistan...it's infuriating. And John is right that we absolutely owe the Afghani people all our support and help in getting them to safety and letting them settle here. It really is truly the absolute least we could do to try and make things right with them, if we even can. Anyone who has a problem with that, well, see my words about Carlson and Ingraham.

On a much lighter note...oh, my god, that "Alabama Hammer" commercial with the school bully XD. I loved John's reaction to that! God, local commercials are wild... Personally, I think both Texas Hammer guy and Alabama Hammer guy should resolve their dispute with an in person Hammer face-off. Whichever one's left standing wins :D. 

Hope John's move back into the studio goes smoothly! Will be nice to have him back in his normal setting again, audience or not :). 

[swanpride]

Biden can pretend as much as he wants that nation building was never the goal, doesn't chance the fact that this was the pretence under which the US convinced other NATO partners to lend them troops. The whole thing will most likely have a cascading effect in European politics. Not that Biden seems to get it....

[formerlyfreedom]

I MAY have snorted some adult beverage out of my nose during The Void's swan song. Especially the rapid fire "QueenElizabethhadDianamurdered" line (clearly some bullshit, but so so fitting for this show!)

[Annber03]

2 minutes ago, saoirse said:

I MAY have snorted some adult beverage out of my nose during The Void's swan song.

I loved John's off screen comments during that. "This is a lot." 

[formerlyfreedom]

Just now, Annber03 said:

I loved John's off screen comments during that. "This is a lot." 

My only regret is that they didn't get H. Jon on board sooner as The Void. He's really been a joy in this run of shows (and we've needed some joy for a long time).

[ahisma]

I feel like I’ve heard SO MUCH about Afghanistan in the past week and a half, very little of tonight was new. One buried point I wish John had brought up was that the US forces very early on had great success in routing the Taliban. In 2001 the Taliban attempted to negotiate a peace deal and turn over Bin Laden. But Bush and Rumsfeld didn’t want to go for it, then promptly got distracted by invading beside-the-point Iraq, and, well. 

John could also have bolstered his support for refugees with the fact that the US brought in 125,000 Vietnamese refugees in just the first year after the fall of Saigon. Immigration from Vietnam increased every year after. I get that the Nixon/Kissinger snark was a good crack, but the US actually did the right thing by the Vietnamese people on the way out of another war we could not stay in indefinitely. 

Anyway, in spite of a thoroughly depressing topic, the goodbye from The Void was funny, and I genuinely laughed out loud at its last crack. 

[khyber]

9 hours ago, saoirse said:

My only regret is that they didn't get H. Jon on board sooner as The Void. He's really been a joy in this run of shows (and we've needed some joy for a long time).

Thanks, I wondered who was voicing the void.

[peeayebee]

I was depressed before watching the ep, and it didn't help. Not that I expected it to.

I feel certain that the Biden Administration thought about what will happen to the Afghanis who helped us and who the Taliban will target, so my question is why the Administration decided not to tackle that issue right away.

The Alabama Hammer has a nice ring to it, even better than the Texas Hammer. I did wonder if the same ad agency that sold the Alabama lawyer on the identical commercial had done the Texas commercials, like that story John did a few weeks ago. Of course the Alabama lawyer may have seen the Texas Hammer commercials and just decided to rip them off. 

[Hanahope]

Honestly, I have to wonder if religion is a big sticking point in how much support the Afghanis are getting.  I don't think I've ever heard about religion involving the Vietnamese 40 years ago, and maybe that helped provide them with more support.  but I think there are a lot in this country that are still very anti-Muslim even though the vast majority are not radical or terrorist.  so many are just threatened by the difference in the religious beliefs, plus their opinion that Christianity tops everything (even though there are many similarities in how women are treated).  

[paigow]

14 minutes ago, peeayebee said:

The Alabama Hammer has a nice ring to it, even better than the Texas Hammer. I did wonder if the same ad agency that sold the Alabama lawyer on the identical commercial had done the Texas commercials, like that story John did a few weeks ago. 

Did the free car commercial ever get made?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Alabama banana slicer for the win!  

[swanpride]

Religion is certainly a sticking point, but it is kind of idiotic because the kind of Afghani who would flee from the Taliban are hardly religious fanatics. 

[Victor the Crab]

It's a good thing LWT is off until mid September. Because it looks as if Ollie's head meat needs to take a pill. Because his piece on Afghanistan may be one of the most disingenuous pieces of shit he's ever put out!

[iMonrey]

Quote

My only regret is that they didn't get H. Jon on board sooner as The Void. 

Who is H. Jon?

Ugh, I know he has to do it, but I hate it when John shows clips of Tucker Carlson or any other Fox pundit. Makes me sick just to look at them.

[Victor the Crab]

37 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Who is H. Jon?

Ugh, I know he has to do it, but I hate it when John shows clips of Tucker Carlson or any other Fox pundit. Makes me sick just to look at them.

That would be H. Jon Benjamin.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._Jon_Benjamin

[DoctorAtomic]

Facebook - now everyone from your high school is qanon. Brilliance. 

[wknt3]

9 hours ago, peeayebee said:

The Alabama Hammer has a nice ring to it, even better than the Texas Hammer. I did wonder if the same ad agency that sold the Alabama lawyer on the identical commercial had done the Texas commercials, like that story John did a few weeks ago. Of course the Alabama lawyer may have seen the Texas Hammer commercials and just decided to rip them off. 

I was thinking the same thing! If I was the judge hearing the case my ruling would be that's it all derivative work from Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro anyways...

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Folks,
As always, no personal politics.  Do not mention politicians that were not discussed in the show.  Posts have been removed.  Questions? PM @PrincessPurrsALot.

[purist]

8 hours ago, Victor the Crab said:

his piece on Afghanistan may be one of the most disingenuous pieces of shit he's ever put out!

How do you mean, @Victor the Crab?

6 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Ugh, I know he has to do it, but I hate it when John shows clips of Tucker Carlson or any other Fox pundit. Makes me sick just to look at them.

Yes, but it is SO SATISFYING when he tells them to fuck off. That was my favourite part of the episode.

[Brandi Maxxxx]

12 hours ago, Victor the Crab said:

It's a good thing LWT is off until mid September. Because it looks as if Ollie's head meat needs to take a pill. Because his piece on Afghanistan may be one of the most disingenuous pieces of shit he's ever put out!

 

4 hours ago, purist said:

How do you mean, @Victor the Crab?

Why am I suddenly reminded of every time a cartoon character encountered a big red button with a skull and crossbones on it?

[Lantern7]

Caught the episode Monday morning. I'm thinking a lot of the people involved with the show are still questioning whether going for laughs at the end was the right call. I know that John's departure from The Void had to be comemorated, but the full segment on Afghanistan was brutal, even with the jokes. I mean, John was insightful, showing that there was no way the US could have come out of Afghanistan fully satisfied . . . and then we get a talk show lady that keeps bringing up being 50, a duel of "hammers," and The Void giving himself a small musical number before giving John a mild heart attack by saying the Queen had Diana killed.

On 8/23/2021 at 5:03 PM, iMonrey said:

Ugh, I know he has to do it, but I hate it when John shows clips of Tucker Carlson or any other Fox pundit. Makes me sick just to look at them.

Minimum,, there should be a small indicator whether John breaks out a Tucker clip, because that face and voice annoys the hell out of me. Ditto the previous President, whose appearance still sparks anger for me.

While I'm at it: should the show blur the phone numbers of the idjits they mock? I imagine a guy in Tuscaloosa all, "Man, this 'Alabama Hammer' guy is an asshole and a thief . . . but damned if I don't need a lawyer now. Thanks, British feller!" The bit with the school bully was epic, as was John showing the guy trying to explain it to a cop.

*When SNL got their new lineup in the Nineties, wasn't there a female character whose whole deal was being 50 and loving it? There's where my mind went seeing Tamron.

ETA: As always, if you need a Tucker in your life, there's this guy. He just became a dad!

Edited August 29, 2021 by Lantern7

[wknt3]

8 hours ago, Lantern7 said:

*When SNL got their new lineup in the Nineties, wasn't there a female character whose whole deal was being 50 and loving it? There's where my mind went seeing Tamron.

Sally O'Malley  is the character you are thinking of, played by Molly Shannon.

 

Quote

ETA: As always, if you need a Tucker in your life, there's this guy. He just became a dad!

Thanks. Much better than that other Tucker who is still a mother...

[Victor the Crab]

On 8/23/2021 at 11:21 PM, purist said:

How do you mean, @Victor the Crab?

If we're to believe Ollie, then Joe Biden is considered America's biggest monster ever. On the show, he directed most of his bile towards the sitting president when all he did was declare the United States would be withdrawing from Afghanistan. Ollie seems to have a pathological hatred towards Biden. He so wanted to believe in Tara Reade that he promised viewers he would delve deeply into the story that never materialized because her claims were all a lie.

I know politicians are easy targets for people like Ollie. But it's like he needs to viciously go after Biden for stupid reasons. Did Biden take a dump in Ollie's pudding? Because there's no explanation for his hatred. Ollie really needs to get the fuck over himself!

[Lantern7]

1 hour ago, Victor the Crab said:

If we're to believe Ollie, then Joe Biden is considered America's biggest monster ever. On the show, he directed most of his bile towards the sitting president when all he did was declare the United States would be withdrawing from Afghanistan. Ollie seems to have a pathological hatred towards Biden. He so wanted to believe in Tara Reade that he promised viewers he would delve deeply into the story that never materialized because her claims were all a lie.

I know politicians are easy targets for people like Ollie. But it's like he needs to viciously go after Biden for stupid reasons. Did Biden take a dump in Ollie's pudding? Because there's no explanation for his hatred. Ollie really needs to get the fuck over himself!

I didn’t get that impression from John. 🤷‍♂️

ETA: @wknt3: I knew that was her!

Edited August 29, 2021 by Lantern7

[Victor the Crab]

23 minutes ago, Lantern7 said:

I didn’t get that impression from John. 🤷‍♂️

ETA: @wknt3: I knew that was her!

He was far more critical of Biden than he was the last two Republican presidents who were a big reason why Afghanistan became such a clusterfuck going in and going out.

[purist]

12 hours ago, Victor the Crab said:

I know politicians are easy targets for people like Ollie. But it's like he needs to viciously go after Biden for stupid reasons. Did Biden take a dump in Ollie's pudding? Because there's no explanation for his hatred. Ollie really needs to get the fuck over himself!

Yeah, nah, I'm not seeing that.

11 hours ago, Victor the Crab said:

He was far more critical of Biden than he was the last two Republican presidents who were a big reason why Afghanistan became such a clusterfuck going in and going out.

I thought he was equal-opportunity critical.

[Brandi Maxxxx]

John accentuates the negative because that's what he's paid to do (and also because he's from England). Even if he is unfair to Biden, that's not the same as saying he's as bad as or worse than Trump or even Bush. When John goes after Trump, it's because he's a never-ending nightmare black hole of suck. When John goes after Biden, it's because he's the guy with the power to actually do something.