S04.E09: Cassie

[Ketzel]

From TV Guide: A 39-year-old, 347 lb. woman hopes to lose weight before trying to find her biological son, whom she gave up for adoption.

[jonesingjay]

Snooze.

 

That golf segment dragged on and on and on.

[DietCokeJunkie]

This was the first time I really felt that the producers were exploiting people's relationships for our entertainment.  From the son's uncomfortable glances at the camera as he reunited with his birth mother to the sad sack "golf pro" husband being smeared on national TV to Chris playing marriage counselor, the whole thing left me feeling dirty for watching.  And now they want to bring a baby into this mix?  Yeesh.  Cassie looked great, but I really did not enjoy this episode. 

[Eeksquire]

I really wanted her to chuck the weight vest at his head.  Maybe that's just me.

[QuePasa]

I am a huge Packer fan and I want to work out with Donald Driver!

I do not think it was Chris's place to test Cassie's marriage. I know Cassie thought it was beneficial but that doesn't make it right.

I didn't really enjoy this episode (aside from Donald Driver of course).

[CaughtOnTape]

I didn't either.  Mostly because I know that those two are headed for divorce.  He's not going to change.  Kind of sad.

[WhineandCheez]

to the sad sack "golf pro" husband being smeared on national TV

 

DId not like that at all.  Cassie was very passive aggressive in her interchanges with her husband. She threw her husband under the bus for 2 hours last night.  "I" sent you to PGA school--what happened to community property or the partnership of marriage? They never said what she did for a living, but they looked to be doing fine, via how their house looked.

 

On the shallow end, she was one of the prettiest very heavyset women I've seen. Thank god her son grew up great. I can't imagine the pain of knowing you thought you were doing right, but made the wrong decision.

 

Heidi has 4?? I thought 3.  Dayum...what is my excuse???

[Eeksquire]

I was kind of surprised that, even in the beginning of the episode when she was talking about how lazy he is (before she knew she was picked), that the camera pulled back to reveal him sitting right there.  That's about as blunt as I've ever seen anyone on this show and he kind of acknowledged it.  Although I don't know how he could argue otherwise if he's working 8-15 hours a week, while she's working 50-60 hours a week.  Her whole attitude all the way through reminded me of those girls in high school that would say things like, "Well, we'll always be friends" - once you start saying that, you've already broken up with him in your head, you just haven't done it out loud yet.

[BeaVee]

Can we have Donald Driver every week, please?  In fact, can he take over the show?

 

This is the second week in a row where I had absolutely no connection/sympathy/empathy with the person. 

No, her husband is not going to change - if he hasn't in 17 years, it is simply not going to happen and at this stage in their marriage, it is ridiculous to even try to change him. Because of that, I think that she is not going to be able to stay with her program because she is too focused on him not being what she wants and next year she will be back on the sofa (if not already) eating herself back to almost 350 pounds.  Food addiction is a vicious circle (I've been stuck in it for virtually my whole life) and it doesn't take much drop the grilled chicken and go back to KFC extra crispy. 

I also hated bringing her son out in front of all those people - even if wasn't "live" and they may have rehearsed/met earlier (which I don't know that they did).  What an akward situation for that young man and while I'm sure Cassie was sincere and heartfelt, I felt terrible for him to have her keep saying "I love you" when he couldn't possibly respond. 

 

I want to say something about her wanting another baby, but it won't be nice so I'll keep it to myself.

[zxy556575]

On the shallow end, she was one of the prettiest very heavyset women I've seen.

.

She was morbidly obese, as are all the participants. I know the word "fat" has extremely pejorative connotations these days, but let's not kid ourselves. I did think her lighter hair color in the beginning suited her better.

 

She missed her (unrealistic) 90-day goal by the most of anyone I've personally seen on the show. And that's while she was living in the center, right? I don't think she had much chance to cheat.

 

Individual physiology is so interesting with regard to fat storage. Cassie didn't have large fat deposits on her upper arms, compared to what's her name from a couple of weeks ago. Some women don't put much weight on in their breasts, even if they're 100+  lbs overweight, while others seem to go straight there. Everyone has that huge overhanging belly, though.

[Eeksquire]

@lordonia, your comment reminded me of the thing that struck me IMMEDIATELY on this episode: Finally, a woman on a weight loss show has a real, heavy duty sports bra and not one of those crappy spandex things made for B-cups! There was actual support! It was a MIRACLE!

[Duke2801]

This was one of the rare, rare occasions that I found the candidate to be "prettier" BEFORE she lost the weight, than after.  I thought she was just lovely, even at 347 pounds, and her hair was gorgeous.   

 

Now, of course, losing the weight is the right thing to do for her mental and physical health. No ifs, and, or buts about it!  I guess I was just kind of taken aback at finding her less attractive (facially only!) at the reveal party.  Her hair also looked... less healthy or something.  Like she had lost a lot due to the rapid weight loss maybe? 

[MsVixen]

Cassie hadn't had the skin removal surgery at the end of the show yet she looked very firm, especially through the midriff.  The result of Spanx, perhaps???  Maybe 2 Spanx garments?

[Ketzel]

I didn't much like her. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the son she gave up for adoption had another family. When she said, "I think of myself as his mother," I wondered where in her world view she saw the woman who actually raised him. I may be a little sensitive to that issue, given my own family circumstances, but the fact that she seemed to think she could have re-inserted herself into his life years ago (when he was a still a small child?) if it weren't for her weight issues shocked me a little.

 

 Two of Cassie's "dramatic" statements to her husband made me laugh out loud. First, when at the beginning of the episode, she shouted at him that she had "worked her butt off" as the camera pointed to her quite-obviously-still-there and flourishing butt. Second, when she screamed that she had "put him through golf school" with the intensity of a working wife who had supported her doctor husband all the way to his medical degree. I didn't even know there was such a thing as "golf school." Googling tells me there are a number of programs that  range from six months to eighteen months, unless she paid for him to get a four year degree in hospitality management with a sub-specialty in golf course management. And, since he seemed to be only working a few hours a week out on the course with "students," I'm guessing it wasn't that. And then there was her third dramatic statement to Heidi about feeling "like a prisoner" during boot camp - this from a woman who claimed to have not left her own house for months and months due to her weight and mental issues.

 

Also shocking to me was Chris' marriage counseling that seemed to largely consist of destroying the guy's career on camera. After five minutes of watching him play barely adequate amateurish golf, I wondered what his current employer and/or clients would think.  Not to mention Heidi's blatant cheerleading for Cassie to divorce the guy. 

Edited July 30, 2014 by Ketzel

[k2p2]

Good, it wasn't just me that was squicked out by all the amateur marriage/golf counseling. That was weird and uncomfortable. Although, to be honest, if Mr. P2 was making such a shambles of his alleged career while I was suffering, I probably would not have been nice nearly as long as she was,

[Canada]

Both Cassie and her husband irritated me.  I hate grown men who still act like children.  Get a real job and get off your lazy ass!  But then, I also hate women who stay with these losers and support them.  17 years?!!!?  Stop putting up with that shit and grow a spine!  And her wanting to quit..... you can do it at home?  Really?  With Mr. Loser husband who cheated on you?  Yeah, that's real supportive.  How's that been working out for you over the last 17 years?  Ugh.  Crappy episode.

[WhineandCheez]

And then there was her third dramatic statement to Heidi about feeling "like a prisoner" during boot camp - this from a woman who claimed to have not left her own house for months and months due to her weight and mental issues.

 

No months years, she said.  And then she suddenly has an auditorium filled with her friends who she hasn't left the house to see in years?  Also this whole issue with making the husband the bad guy bugged.  First married him and definately stayed with him because  he accepted her obesity.  Sounds like the old unsaid deal "I'll support you financialy if you stay with me so I don't have to say I'm alone, and I can eat on the couch all the time and stay obese."  Look how nasty she was to him--do you think tat just started when the cameras got there? Could have something to do with  why he cheated (yes I know its his fault and inexcusable, but I'm looking at motivation here)-- you show me every day you think I'm a loser and i go out and find a girl who wants me and likes me.  Any guy on earth can find some girl who wants him.

[QuePasa]

No months years, she said. And then she suddenly has an auditorium filled with her friends who she hasn't left the house to see in years?.

I live in Green Bay, WI. Last season (I think) there was a reveal at Lambeau Field and they put out a notice looking for people to show up for the reveal. I would have gone but had something else going on that night. So I assume it is true in all episodes that aside from a handful of actual family and friends, the majority of the people there are random extras.

Here is a link to the casting call: http://www.wapl.com/index.php/Calendar/Full_Calendar/Event/7524

Edited August 1, 2014 by QuePasa

[backformore]

Yeah, a lot of you guys have said exactly what bugged me about this episode (and I havent' even watched the whole thing yet) .  Working 50 - 60 hours a week AT HOME -  doing what?   And, is some of the "work"  being done while the TV is on?   I noticed at the beginning, she was very tan, looked like she just got back from vacation.   Oh, but she hadn't left the house in years, so that couldn't be.  Puzzling how she has so many friends when she never goes anywhere. 

 

And the son -  how disrespectful to HIM to meet his birth mother for the first time on a TV show devoted to her losing weight. That meeting should have been done in private, so he could talk about how HE feels about the whole thing.  She gave him up - not at birth, because they showed her with him at home - but when he was a baby.  She went to court and gave up her rights. I bet there is another piece she didn't talk about. (alcoholism? DUI?  neglect?) that led to her giving up rights to her kid.  AND-  It wasn't her weight that kept her from seeing him.  It's pretty obvious that she had to wait until he was an adult.  You don't get to give up our parental rights, have your kid adopted, and pop in and out of his life as you please. 

 

Maybe they should have had the husband get help too.  Not really fair to take her to a place where she gets the coaching, just to come home and blame the guy who was suposed to straighten out HIS life without help.  They were a party couple, who drank, watched TV and ate, had drinking parties with friends - they were in the lifestyle together.

  She comes home and says "I'm committed to changing and he's not."   Wait - she tried to quit, more than once, and she had Chris and Heidi talk her out of quitting.  Her husband was supposed to quit drinking and have healthy food in the home for her- with no help?  No coaching?  they set him up to fail.  

 

I thought it was funny at the beginning when they were supposed to get rid of all their television sets.  OK, Chris, that's a good idea, how about all of America throws out all our TV sets because some guy ON TV tells us it's a good idea?   But who will watch your show?  

[WhineandCheez]

that led to her giving up rights to her kid.  AND-  It wasn't her weight that kept her from seeing him. 

 

Good post, backformore. But there are really stupid things that people put off waiting to "live their life" after they lose weight.  My sister was very obese and she didn't renew her driver's license for OVER A YEAR, all the time driving, because she wanted to wait until she would have a thinner picture!

 

Also, I forgot to bitch about another thing--which may just be editing--but bitch away I shall. When she met her son (whose parents gave him everything but not a flattering haircut), she introduced him all around to everyone BUT HER HUSBAND OF 17 YEARS, who was crying for his wife's joy.  Again, may be producer manipulation, but fits into the whole general idea.

 

Anyone wonder if a PA snuck into the house before she got home and took away the Whole Foods stuff and put in a case of beer?

 

FINAL RANT I PROMISE.  Why does the husband have to do ANYTHING???  this is her process.  many other spouses didn't do jack shit and the person still lost. You have to do this for yourself, girlie.

[Whimsy]

Yeah, a lot of you guys have said exactly what bugged me about this episode (and I havent' even watched the whole thing yet) .  Working 50 - 60 hours a week AT HOME -  doing what?   And, is some of the "work"  being done while the TV is on?   I noticed at the beginning, she was very tan, looked like she just got back from vacation.   Oh, but she hadn't left the house in years, so that couldn't be.  Puzzling how she has so many friends when she never goes anywhere. 

 

And the son -  how disrespectful to HIM to meet his birth mother for the first time on a TV show devoted to her losing weight. That meeting should have been done in private, so he could talk about how HE feels about the whole thing.  She gave him up - not at birth, because they showed her with him at home - but when he was a baby.  She went to court and gave up her rights. I bet there is another piece she didn't talk about. (alcoholism? DUI?  neglect?) that led to her giving up rights to her kid.  AND-  It wasn't her weight that kept her from seeing him.  It's pretty obvious that she had to wait until he was an adult.  You don't get to give up our parental rights, have your kid adopted, and pop in and out of his life as you please. 

 

Maybe they should have had the husband get help too.  Not really fair to take her to a place where she gets the coaching, just to come home and blame the guy who was suposed to straighten out HIS life without help.  They were a party couple, who drank, watched TV and ate, had drinking parties with friends - they were in the lifestyle together.

  She comes home and says "I'm committed to changing and he's not."   Wait - she tried to quit, more than once, and she had Chris and Heidi talk her out of quitting.  Her husband was supposed to quit drinking and have healthy food in the home for her- with no help?  No coaching?  they set him up to fail.  

 

I thought it was funny at the beginning when they were supposed to get rid of all their television sets.  OK, Chris, that's a good idea, how about all of America throws out all our TV sets because some guy ON TV tells us it's a good idea?   But who will watch your show?  

 

I am quoting your whole post because I agree with everything you said.

 

I think Cassie DID say at some point what her stay-at-home job was but I honestly forgot what it was.  But, yeah, what stay-at-home job could she be doing for 50-60 hours per week?

 

I agree there has to be more to the story about her giving up her parental rights.  Cassie did say that she was a party-girl, but I don't think she recognized that in herself and decided to do what was best for the child before anything happened.  I think something happened that forced her to give up the child. 

 

I especially, 100% agree with your third paragraph.  Cassie was away getting support and specific help (diet, cooking, etc) while her husband was at home alone.  He didn't know how to do it on his own!!  Also, without those classes he probably didn't know what to buy that she could eat, so I also don't blame him for not having the fridge and pantry stocked.  He may have been thinking they could go shopping together when she gets home (or, she could go). 

 

The only thing I DON'T give him a pass on was the state of the house.  I mean, ok- he probably lived like a frat boy while she was gone but the least he could've done was clean up before she got home.  He doesn't really work.  There's no reason the house couldn't have been cleaned up.  I would've gone through the roof if my house looked like that!

 

I also thought it was hilarious that they had to get rid of all their TV's.  Granted, that was way unhealthy.  That was so weird to have two TV's in the same room and have one of them wear headphones so they can watch two different TV's.  It's just the two of them.  The house has multiple rooms.  If my husband and I aren't watching the same thing, I go into another room to watch TV.  It's not that they wanted to spend time together because if he's wearing headphones they're not interacting anyway.  But, to get rid of ALL the TV's seemed excessive.  Yes, watching too much television can be an easy excuse to not work out, but they also don't have to exercise every minute of the day they are home.  Why can't they watch TV after they've completed their hours (or whatever) of exercise?  I don't get it.  I think it was just for show and dramatics. 

[AV8n]

All of the reveals this season have been done in LA.  Since I doubt the show charters a jet to bring every contestant's friends and fam-damily out there, I'd imagine most of the people there are strangers.  The exceptions would be immediate family and the DFP (designated fat person) who will be receiving the scholarship.

 

Cassie and her husband definitely need some real marriage counseling if they're going to stay together and be successful.  I think the golf challenge was intended to show him just how much his actions (or lack thereof) are hurting Cassie, but all I kept thinking was wow she really wasted her money on those golf lessons.

 

I totally agree that he would have been clueless about what food needed to be in the house.  With 90 days of "me time", he defaulted to what he knew.  But he knew when she was due home, and thanks to Heidi's pep talk she stayed the whole time, so he could have at least straightened up the house, finished off the beer, and got some lettuce at the store.

[Eeksquire]

 

Yes, watching too much television can be an easy excuse to not work out, but they also don't have to exercise every minute of the day they are home.  Why can't they watch TV after they've completed their hours (or whatever) of exercise?  I don't get it.

Sing it! Also, if you are going to expect people to hit the treadmill and elliptical for hours at a time, wouldn't tv maybe help them along? I know the only way I look forward to hitting the treadmill is if I designate a show that I won't let myself watch unless it's on said treadmill.  How much time do you want to spend on the thing if all you've got to do is stare at the wall with nothing to distract you?

[CaughtOnTape]

 

Yes, watching too much television can be an easy excuse to not work out, but they also don't have to exercise every minute of the day they are home. Why can't they watch TV after they've completed their hours (or whatever) of exercise? I don't get it.

Sing it! Also, if you are going to expect people to hit the treadmill and elliptical for hours at a time, wouldn't tv maybe help them along? I know the only way I look forward to hitting the treadmill is if I designate a show that I won't let myself watch unless it's on said treadmill.  How much time do you want to spend on the thing if all you've got to do is stare at the wall with nothing to distract you?

 

 

Because that was her trigger.  It's not as black and white as "Oh she can watch TV after she works out."  To Cassie, feeling like she wasn't being productive and getting fat was the consequence of watching TV.  So rather than invite the trigger back, she got rid of it.  Once she gets further along in her journey she can bring the TV back and probably be fine.  But for now, it's too easy of an excuse for her to decide to sit down and watch TV for an hour before she gets up to work out....and then just never get up to work out.  

 

It's happened to me many many times.  "Oh I'll just finish this show...."  and next thing I know I'm 3 hours into another show and it's 10:30 pm and WHOOPS!  Can't work out now.

 

And I doubt she's staring at a wall on the treadmill.  Have you ever tried to watch TV on a treadmill?  Unless you're at a gym where the TV is right in front of you?  It's not as easy as you'd think.  One small stumble and you're screwed.

It's much easier and safer to listen to music while running.  

Edited August 1, 2014 by CaughtOnTape

[backformore]

FINAL RANT I PROMISE.  Why does the husband have to do ANYTHING???  this is her process.  many other spouses didn't do jack shit and the person still lost. You have to do this for yourself, girlie.

 

Good point.  People quit drinking, start to exercise, make other changes when THEY are ready.  A married couple might not both be ready at the exact same time to make lifestyle changes.  One partner's changes might inspire the other, but everyone has to decide when their time is right to make changes. 

 

All of the reveals this season have been done in LA.  Since I doubt the show charters a jet to bring every contestant's friends and fam-damily out there, I'd imagine most of the people there are strangers.

right - but if this refers to the post about a casting call for audience members - that was for Cassie's 90 day reveal, which was in her hometown.   Weird that they had to have a radio station put out a casting call, like she didn't have a community of people who would show up for her.   

Something I wondered about -  all these episodes are taking place sort of simultaneously.  We only know this from Heidi being pregnant.   SO -  all the final reveals, in Los Angeles.  Is it possible they do them all, or at least multiple ones, back-to-back the same day?  For some reason, it makes me laugh to think that  Chris and Heidi change clothes, and then come back and do the next show, just moving the audience members around a bit (or clearing the place and switching to a new audeince), over and over all day.

[QuePasa]

Good point. People quit drinking, start to exercise, make other changes when THEY are ready. A married couple might not both be ready at the exact same time to make lifestyle changes. One partner's changes might inspire the other, but everyone has to decide when their time is right to make changes.

right - but if thiss refers to the post about a casting call for audience members - that was for Cassie's 90 day reveal, which was in her hometown. Weird that they had to have a radio station put out a casting call, like she didn't have a community of people who would show up for her.

Something I wondered about - all these episodes are taking place sort of simultaneously. We only know this from Heidi being pregnant. SO - all the final reveals, in Los Angeles. Is it possible they do them all, or at least multiple ones, back-to-back the same day? For some reason, it makes me laugh to think that Chris and Heidi change clothes, and then come back and do the next show, just moving the audience members around a bit (or clearing the place and switching to a new audeince), over and over all day.

Just to be clear, the casting call I posted was not for Cassie but a different person a year ago. I was just showing it as an example of how there are so many people there. And it that case it was for the final reveal.

Edited August 1, 2014 by QuePasa

[CaughtOnTape]

Good point.  People quit drinking, start to exercise, make other changes when THEY are ready.  A married couple might not both be ready at the exact same time to make lifestyle changes.  One partner's changes might inspire the other, but everyone has to decide when their time is right to make changes. 

 

To me, this is an excuse.  He wasn't getting over a bad breakup or mourning a lost partner, he was deciding to get up off his very obvious lazy ass and help his wife.  Ready to do what?  Eat better?  Live longer?  Lose weight?  

It's pretty obvious to me she WAS doing it for herself and he was invited to either join in on the journey or move along.  She was at her end with him, which from where I sat was wholeheartedly his fault, and he was either going to show her he was also invested in their relationship or he wasn't.  By getting up off his buns and showing her he was going to work to support her (which it looked like he hadn't been doing in quite some time as he did not argue or put up any kind of protest when she basically told him he was a lazy mother fucker in front of all of America) then he proved to her he was at least going to try to save their marriage.

 

I'm all for doing it for yourself, but it wasn't just about him deciding to lose weight when he was ready, he needed to prove to her he was going to be there for her.  

 

Besides, from the look and sound of it....he would've been "ready" about 5 minutes before he died.

[Morgalisa]

 

Her hair also looked... less healthy or something.  Like she had lost a lot due to the rapid weight loss maybe?

 

I think she had a weave or pieces.  Her hair went through more changes than her body.  In the beginning she had long, blonde, curled hair  (probably a weave),three months later she had what looked like badly damaged bleached stringy shoulder length hair, then she had darker mid-back length crappy looking hair and other lengths and colors.  I've seen people have hair loss from weight-loss surgery, but not from weight loss.  

 

For once I agreed with Heide when she told her to lose the guy.  Heide seemed not so annoying in this episode.  Or maybe I was just so annoyed with Cassie and her husband that I didn't notice.

 

Too many inconsistencies in the story.  She never left the house, but she was known at the bar.  Their basement was the party room, but she worked 60 hour work weeks and watched tv ALL the time.  Her husband seemed to say all the right things when confronted, but it never seemed to connect with actions.  I think he will have another affair.  Something was missing with him.  And if she was willing to criticize him that much on tv, I can't imagine what she says to him when no one is listening.  It was interesting that Chris compared himself and Heide to them.  I can see that Heide is a perfectionist, but Chris is no slouch.  But I can see Heide pushing him.

 

I thought they were probably casting these audiences because I have seen the same woman on several episodes and they always put the camera on her.

 

Cassie  was the most beautiful at the 90-day mark.  Weight loss may improve the health and body image, but it  ages the face. 

[legaleagle53]

DId not like that at all.  Cassie was very passive aggressive in her interchanges with her husband. She threw her husband under the bus for 2 hours last night.  "I" sent you to PGA school--what happened to community property or the partnership of marriage? 

 

"Community" property is only at issue in states that legally recognize the concept.  Not all states do.  Where do Cassie and her husband live?

[QuePasa]

"Community" property is only at issue in states that legally recognize the concept.  Not all states do.  Where do Cassie and her husband live?

They live in Wisconsin, which is a community property state.

[Mrsjumbo]

I agree that there were inconsistencies. I was surprised when she said she wanted to go home to see friends- how does she make friends of she is always working, always watching tv, & never leaves the house? And why would you want to go back home to that schlep of a husband?

I would have left him after she came home & saw the beer in the fridge, no food, the house trashed & the video games out. What disrespect! I don't see what he is contributing to their marriage at all.

[oceanchild3]

I am late to the game on this one, but just thought I'd add a couple of things. 

 

I work at home as a tech/marketing writer and there are definitely weeks that I work 50+ hours a week. (Of course there are weeks I only work 30, it just depends.) So I didn't think this was that big of a stretch, although I kind of wish they would have hinted at what she did. When I am doing something senseless, I have the TV or a podcast on.

 

As far as the husband needing and not getting help, if you watch Georgianna (spelling?) from the week before, her husband took control and just worked on himself. Cassie's husband could/should have done the same. Yeah, she probably should have ditched him years ago and that is frustrating to watch. But to me, he seemed just content to ride on whatever dollars she was bringing in.

 

The adoption/meet the son thing makes me sick. I had a very hard time with that. 

[ali59]

Finally, a woman on a weight loss show has a real, heavy duty sports bra and not one of those crappy spandex things made for B-cups! There was actual support! It was a MIRACLE!

 

 

It looks like an Enell sports bra.  Very good and very expensive.  Good for her for getting a good bra although at her 90 day weigh in it was clear that she needed a new one.  I know that feeling.  I finally had to break down and get a new one after about 60 pounds down.  http://www.enell.com/enell-sport

[ramble]

I have the Enell bra linked & it is awesome to completely restrict movement. It's not cute or something I'd want to have on sans top (not that I do that in a sports bra but I know some do) but it really gets the job done!