MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[cardigirl]

I can't see Twitter from my work computer, could someone tell me if she tagged Derek in the tweet about giving thanks to her family, friends, and Derek?

[SaucyMommy]

1 minute ago, cardigirl said:

I can't see Twitter from my work computer, could someone tell me if she tagged Derek in the tweet about giving thanks to her family, friends, and Derek?

she did not

[HZAnita]

5 hours ago, 1992austenlover said:

To be honest, I'm just happy that Nick's true feelings on the matter have finally come out because I could not handle another episode of him pretending that he's into Sonia when it's been clear for awhile now that he's been silently struggling in this relationship. I've tried so hard to like Sonia and Nick (what can I say? I'm a sucker for a cute, quirky couple) but my problem with them has always revolved around the fact that the relationship has never really felt authentic and real to me as Nick's words have never matched his body language/actions. I thought that maybe he was acting this way because he was uncomfortable with the filming process and being vulnerable on camera (factors that would definitely impact my behaviour if I were put in that situation) but now it's pretty clear that his emotional detachment primarily stems from his lack of attraction to his wife. I give him some credit for trying to get to know Sonia as a person before verbalizing these feelings as opposed to potentially sabotaging things from the beginning by admitting from the get-go that he wasn't attracted to her, but I do think that his breakdown in that preview was definitely a cause for concern and it will be interesting to see if they could recover from that explosion.

However, I don't think that Nick is a bad person by any means; I just think that he's one of those people who tend to bottle their true feelings until they reach a breaking point that causes them to explode. I can relate to that--I hate confrontation so I usually tend to try to brush things off until the situation escalates to a point where I feel like it's affecting my complete mental state and only then will I feel the need to unload. Like Nick, I'm pretty shy and introverted and I need time to process my feelings before I feel comfortable making moves/concrete decisions so I do get where he is coming from in that respect. That being said, do I think that him yelling about how he doesn't find Sonia attractive after weeks of saying that he did find her attractive was the best course of action to take? Probably not. But then again, at least he was honest and now that his cards are officially on the table, he and Sonia could hopefully start interacting with each other on a deeper level. Good, bad or indifferent, I do actually think that this is progress for them. 

I don't think he wants to interact with Sonia on a deeper, more shallow, or any other level.  IIRC (and someone correct me if I misheard this), besides not being attracted to her, he yelled that he didn't even LIKE her!  Something like, "I don't like her!  I'm not attracted to her!" 

It was just...whoa.  I used to think Sonia was overreacting and insecure when he would inject off-the-wall things into the conversation like not wanting to rush things and not being in love with her.  I tried to excuse that behavior by thinking he was just socially awkward.  Now, however, I believe that those statements were an intentional jab at her.  My current impression is that he's just a cold, uncaring, mean person.  I do hope I'm wrong about his actual personality and that it's editing and the pressure of having a camera in your face 24/7.  

I wouldn't wish that guy on anyone.

[SaucyMommy]

40 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I wonder if the "other factors that couldn't be portrayed" included more than just the pot smoking.  Because didn't she kind of admit it was pot smoking somewhere already, didn't she?  There could be other stuff too.

I just think it's weird because in season 2 they seemed to air ALL of the fighting between Ryan and Jessica - but there was barely anything between Heather and Derek.  I would have thought if it were something major it would have been shown.

[BunnySlippers]

48 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think her twitter feed does allude to the fact that he was a pot smoker given she said she made the right decision not just for herself, but 'for her job'.
I'm glad she mentioned there was a lot going on that we will not see, which I'm sure is the case for all of them.

Exactly. In an earlier thread I mentioned that if he's a pot smoker, that would be bad for her job because of the drug testing I'm sure they have to go through. And if there are dogs involved in that, they could smell the pot on her clothes even if she didn't smoke it herself. So, to me, this just confirms that. And this is what a lot of us have been suspecting: that there were things she couldn't talk about on camera, so she came off as the bad guy in all this.

8 minutes ago, SaucyMommy said:

I just think it's weird because in season 2 they seemed to air ALL of the fighting between Ryan and Jessica - but there was barely anything between Heather and Derek.  I would have thought if it were something major it would have been shown.

I think in this case there were things they could not show on TV. It's one thing to film one of the participants yelling at their spouse, but it's quite another to show someone smoke pot on their TV show, in which they were supposed to filter out people with issues like that. And maybe there was something else, too. Heather's post certainly alludes to that.

[ctbabe]

11 minutes ago, SaucyMommy said:

I just think it's weird because in season 2 they seemed to air ALL of the fighting between Ryan and Jessica - but there was barely anything between Heather and Derek.  I would have thought if it were something major it would have been shown.

Agreed. I think she wasn't attracted to him so  the smoking and name calling made it worse for her. Heather needs to learn how to communicate. 

[SaucyMommy]

4 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Exactly. In an earlier thread I mentioned that if he's a pot smoker, that would be bad for her job because of the drug testing I'm sure they have to go through. And if there are dogs involved in that, they could smell the pot on her clothes even if she didn't smoke it herself. So, to me, this just confirms that. And this is what a lot of us have been suspecting: that there were things she couldn't talk about on camera, so she came off as the bad guy in all this.

I think in this case there were things they could not show on TV. It's one thing to film one of the participants yelling at their spouse, but it's quite another to show someone smoke pot on their TV show, in which they were supposed to filter out people with issues like that. And maybe there was something else, too. Heather's post certainly alludes to that.

I agree with you that she is coming off worse than she is. I actually was on her side that I thought it was tacky for him to be smoking after just meeting her. I mean they were there to get to know one another - not party. And he seemed to take the first few days as "vacation" mode. Which in reality it wasn't.

[gingerandcloves]

So I tweeted to Derek asking him if the smoking was weed or cigarettes and he basically responded with a "no comment" comment, LOL. So I think that settles that question. I guess I can't blame Heather for not wanting to be with him, especially in light of her job. I think there was more to it, that she just didn't like him, and I don't believe she would have stayed even if he agreed not to smoke. I wish the show would have addressed the issues honestly because Heather comes off looking really bad. I still think she's very inflexible and a my-way-or-the-highway type of person but she's not quite as unreasonable as she's being portrayed. 

[SaucyMommy]

I think everyone knows it was weed. But why they couldn't say weed is beyond me. Maybe it's a network thing? I know in the second season Ryan D did cocaine and it was what caused a lot of the blow out fights and it was never brought up either.

[SaucyMommy]

 the full video of him going off is now on their Facebook page. Someone on there said Sonia confirmed via IG that this really isn't edited out of context and he did say he didn't like her and wasn't attracted to her.

https://www.facebook.com/MarriedAtFirstSight/?fref=ts

[humbleopinion]

Nick just got fed up with the badgering from the producers and he snapped.

He probably thought he could put up the charade longer but hit the wall 3 weeks in.

"Open up" was code for "admit to the truth that he wants no further physical relationship with Sonia."

Nick does not like confrontation so they broke the camel's back with that last plea to express his feelings.

When Sonia and crew implored him to "open up" one too many times he went ballistic.

His over the top yelling was to get his point across, calm Nick was measured, yelly Nick was out of control.

Sonia is hurt but it confirmed what she knew all along.

The elephant in the room was finally acknowledged.

[SaucyMommy]

9 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Nick just got fed up with the badgering from the producers and he snapped.

He probably thought he could put up the charade longer but hit the wall 3 weeks in.

"Open up" was code for "admit to the truth that he wants no further physical relationship with Sonia."

Nick does not like confrontation so they broke the camel's back with that last plea to express his feelings.

When Sonia and crew implored him to "open up" one too many times he went ballistic.

His over the top yelling was to get his point across, calm Nick was measured, yelly Nick was out of control.

Sonia is hurt but it confirmed what she knew all along.

The elephant in the room was finally acknowledged.

I agree she knew he didn't like her. And I honestly don't think she really liked him that much.

[ChristmasJones]

The zit has been popped.

[Liberty]

Clearly Nick and Heather do not have the same understanding of 'legally married' the producers do.  Neither wants to spend to 6 weeks trying to develop their 'marriage'.  Nick and Heather were expecting a 'marriage' version of speed dating.

What is the process for getting a refund on lifestyle section 8 lifestyle clothing and accessories?  Who wants to rent a place from Nick?

FSU is certainly not doing a good job teaching undergraduates rhetoric.  In his interaction with Sonia, he demonstrates his understanding that 'open up' is a word.

[BunnySlippers]

On 9/15/2016 at 5:25 PM, SaucyMommy said:

 the full video of him going off is now on their Facebook page. Someone on there said Sonia confirmed via IG that this really isn't edited out of context and he did say he didn't like her and wasn't attracted to her.

https://www.facebook.com/MarriedAtFirstSight/?fref=ts

Wow. So not only is he not attracted to her, he says he doesn't think she's attractive. Which would be fine if he hadn't been lying about it until now.

Thanks for the link, SaucyMommy!

Edited September 17, 2016 by BunnySlippers
grammar

[Soup333]

Nick is an ass. Who even cares what his reasons are. Gay, introverted, shy - who cares. I don't see how Sonia could even be cool with him on any level after that. 

Can they cancel this trash show now? Two out of 12 couples is a shit record. Even if Lily and Tom manage to work things out, it's still only 3/12. So many of these people shouldn't even have been cast to match with ANYONE. 

[SaucyMommy]

32 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Wow. So not only is he not attracted to her, he says he doesn't think she's attractive. Which would be fine if he hasn't been lying about it until now.

Thanks for the link, SaucyMommy!

He also said he didn't like her. What is this grade school? "I don't like you" "I don't want to be your friend". He's an asshat.

[zxy556575]

Nick seems drunk in that clip. And guess what, Nick? Your response is exactly what "opening up" means. Just say the damned words. You end up hurting someone more by being "polite" and lying.

3 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I guess I can't blame Heather for not wanting to be with him, especially in light of her job. I think there was more to it, that she just didn't like him, and I don't believe she would have stayed even if he agreed not to smoke. I wish the show would have addressed the issues honestly because Heather comes off looking really bad. I still think she's very inflexible and a my-way-or-the-highway type of person but she's not quite as unreasonable as she's being portrayed. 

I wish the show would address the pot directly, but Heather still seems unreasonable to me:

Derek asked her if he was okay > she said yes > the extent of his usage bothered her more than she thought it would OR she lied when she said it was fine > Derek stopped when she told him she was unhappy > despite this concession on his part she made no further attempt to start over, be open to him, give him another chance. I do believe Derek when he whined that she was completely shut down by day three.

Given the premise of the damned show, I think she should at least have tried. She was obviously very upset and miserable during the honeymoon, but her unhappiness was for her own shattered dreams that the show would match her with Mr. Big.

Edited September 16, 2016 by lordonia

[gonecrackers]

Wow; just wow, Nick. Say nothing for so long then that? He's like 0-60. That was the most personality I've seen come out of the guy - & I could actually understand every word he said for once.

This is not an excuse for him by any means, but it seems like it would probably be easier for the women to say they were not attracted to someone rather than a man be able to do that, given he probably figures a woman might take it harder & then Sonia was so emotional. But he was so totally inept at handling any of this & that was awful.

I do hope she moves out & this is over. She's kind of been a little bit of a female David here, trying, trying with nothing, nothing back, so hopefully that will be over.

[Gem 10]

On August 19, 2016 at 6:34 PM, Magoo said:

If the producer would help her tone it back by about a thousand and teach her the right words to emphasize, she'd actually be a great host.  But without that, she just sounds shocked, shocked! that people cast on a show called "Married at First Sight" would marry a complete shtranger!  That's just cuh-rayzee! So titillating!  She leans forward anxiously, in breathless anticipation to hear what it was like to spend the night with a complete shtranger!  The very idea of it all is so outrageous that it takes oral gymnastics to say it!  Mouth agog, eyes wild, she questions the couples, their friends, their family and is by turns amazed! shocked! and delightfully amused! by their answers.  It's exhausting.  And yet I watch.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ..  Don't make me pee my pants.

[ChristmasJones]

I feel bad for Sonia. I wish they had matched her with a much more emotionally open person.  Not that Tom would be a great match for her, but I think someone like him (someone who has normal facial expressions and not a completely flat affect, someone who can understand and respond to both verbal and non-verbal communication, someone who can express his emotions and show empathy to those expressed by his partner, someone who isn't completely shut down whenever he is expected to share his own inner thoughts and feelings,... I could go on)  ... someone like that would have been much better for Sonia. I don't think she is that anxious of a person. I think Nick's flat affect and inability to engage in normal communication have just caused her to feel very confused and to doubt herself. 

I think it reflects an even deeper problem with Nick. Assuming he is not gay (I don't think he is), and even if the issue is that he is not attracted, he seems to lack the self-awareness and insight into himself that signing up to marry a perfect stranger, who he will be expected to be attracted to, would be completely overwhelming for him. The fact that he didn't know that about himself before he went on this show is a bigger problem than anything else.

I did not see any signs of better communication when he spoke to the experts or to his mom when she was there for dinner with them. So that is one reason I don't think the sole issue here is his lack of feelings toward Sonia. There is more to it than that, IMO.

[BunnySlippers]

2 hours ago, lordonia said:

Nick seems drunk in that clip. And guess what, Nick? Your response is exactly what "opening up" means. Just say the damned words. You end up hurting someone more by being "polite" and lying.

I wish the show would address the pot directly, but Heather still seems unreasonable to me:

Derek asked her if he was okay > she said yes > the extent of his usage bothered her more than she thought it would OR she lied when she said it was fine > Derek stopped when she told him she was unhappy > despite this concession on his part she made no further attempt to start over, be open to him, give him another chance. I do believe Derek when he whined that she was completely shut down by day three.

Given the premise of the damned show, I think she should at least have tried. She was obviously very upset and miserable during the honeymoon, but her unhappiness was for her own shattered dreams that the show would match her with Mr. Big.

I think the weed was only one issue for Heather. His temper and tendency to be verbally abusive might have been another, and who knows what else happened between them.  And she did try to turn over a new leaf on the last day, but instead of doing his best to move forward and develop a better relationship with her, Derek chose to complain and attack her about the cave and the surf instructor. I think that was the last straw that totally turned her off. She's not perfect; she seems pretty cold and rigid, but I don't think Derek is blameless in the failure of their marriage. But all he can see is her not trying; he doesn't accept any responsibility for what happened.

 

1 hour ago, ChristmasJones said:

I feel bad for Sonia. I wish they had matched her with a much more emotionally open person.  Not that Tom would be a great match for her, but I think someone like him (someone who has normal facial expressions and not a completely flat affect, someone who can understand and respond to both verbal and non-verbal communication, someone who can express his emotions and show empathy to those expressed by his partner, someone who isn't completely shut down whenever he is expected to share his own inner thoughts and feelings,... I could go on)  ... someone like that would have been much better for Sonia. I don't think she is that anxious of a person. I think Nick's flat affect and inability to engage in normal communication have just caused her to feel very confused and to doubt herself. 

I think it reflects an even deeper problem with Nick. Assuming he is not gay (I don't think he is), and even if the issue is that he is not attracted, he seems to lack the self-awareness and insight into himself that signing up to marry a perfect stranger, who he will be expected to be attracted to, would be completely overwhelming for him. The fact that he didn't know that about himself before he went on this show is a bigger problem than anything else.

I did not see any signs of better communication when he spoke to the experts or to his mom when she was there for dinner with them. So that is one reason I don't think the sole issue here is his lack of feelings toward Sonia. There is more to it than that, IMO.

That's true. He didn't really communicate with his mom either. And this is again what I don't get: why did the experts choose someone like him for this show? Someone who can't communicate?

If he and Sonia split up (she seemed to be moving out in that preview), I wonder what Nick's mother thought of that. She seemed to like Sonia.

[Snarklepuss]

5 hours ago, SaucyMommy said:

I think everyone knows it was weed. But why they couldn't say weed is beyond me. Maybe it's a network thing? I know in the second season Ryan D did cocaine and it was what caused a lot of the blow out fights and it was never brought up either.

Because it's illegal in many places and could get/have gotten Ryan and Derek in trouble with the law and lost them their jobs, that's my guess.  No way that wouldn't have been all over the tabloids and burning up the airwaves online.  As innocuous as a lot of people think weed is, if it's illegal where a person lives or works, stuff like that could still ruin someone's career.

I personally think the interaction between Heather and Derek started when she saw him smoking weed a little too often to be called "occasional" and she might have asked him if he used other substances as well.  He may have told her he dabbled in some other stuff and it was way too close to what she was trying to get away from with her old boyfriend for comfort.  That's probably what we didn't see.  Then suddenly they're showing us Heather on her high horse, crying and done with him while he's acting like an adolescent after his mom found his "drug" drawer.  If we had seen him admitting to doing coke, pills, whatever, I don't think anyone would have blamed Heather one bit.  But they didn't show that because it could incriminate him with the law.  I don't even think their exploitation of people's lives goes to the extent of outing them as criminals or addicts on national TV.

[ChristmasJones]

I view Derek's reaction to Heather's reaction to his smoking (or whatever they wouldn't show us) as the bigger problem. I think Heather even said that in so many words.  Derek showed that he lacked the emotional maturity to communicate when there was some tension/disagreement. He immediately jacked it up to a whole new level of intensity rather than being able to respond in a calm fashion.  For a guy in his mid-30's - I would expect more. 

His feelings may be completely valid (hurt, rejected, etc).... but HOW he dealt with those feelings is the problem. I think Heather was turned-off by the pot use (or cigarettes) and then when he acted like a child, that was the nail in the coffin.  Sometimes people do something that you just can't get past. Especially when you don't know them that well.

If it happened when they had known each other longer, then it might be more workable. But with new people, there isn't that history to hold you through the bad times.

[CindyK]

You know, I don't blame Heather. If a man can't put his best foot forward during, at least, the first week of marriage, what is there to look forward to? At 35, Derek, should have been able to put his vice down for the purpose of getting to know his new bride. And, even if he couldn't, he should not have become argumentative and resorted to name-calling once questioned. Heather seems to love her job and should not have to compromise her career because her new husband might decide to board their flight one day with pot (I firmly believe it was pot based on his coy response whenever asked). Heather took a glimpse at her future and said "hell no!" The show has done her a massive disservice by refusing to discuss the real issue head on.

[Evil Queen]

8 hours ago, SaucyMommy said:

I just think it's weird because in season 2 they seemed to air ALL of the fighting between Ryan and Jessica - but there was barely anything between Heather and Derek.  I would have thought if it were something major it would have been shown.

While they did there was just fighting between them. Yet they may not be able to show more than they have with Heather and Derek if it has to do with pot which is illegal. I can imagine she isn't saying it is or anything else that might have gone on because it wasn't aired and was told she can't....either that or she is just not one to air dirty laundry left and right like some would. In the end I am glad she ended it now and knew it was for the best to at that point instead of dragging it out as some have in the past. I can imagine the show had no choice but to let her since they aren't even airing the reason(s) or can't air them. 

[Evil Queen]

8 hours ago, ctbabe said:

Heather needs to learn how to communicate. 

I think Derek needs to learn to communicate. She does too but not as much as he does IMO. He had basically made a statement during the honeymoon about his past relationships not working and was very telling on why they never work for him. Everyone else is suppose to communicate but him. He basically had laid blame on everyone else for the  reasons things didn't work in past relationships and he did it with this one. He has never once taken any blame in what went wrong at all. Its all her fault. Yet after a few days of his crap I don't blame her for being done and wanting to walk away.

5 hours ago, SaucyMommy said:

I agree she knew he didn't like her. And I honestly don't think she really liked him that much.

I think Sonia just wanted him to say it though. To confirm what she might have felt was the truth because he is sitting there telling the "experts" one thing and acting another way about it all. I don't see how she could have liked him since he wasn't letting her get to know him but I do think she was trying to at least like him in some manner. 

4 hours ago, lordonia said:

Nick seems drunk in that clip. And guess what, Nick? Your response is exactly what "opening up" means. Just say the damned words. You end up hurting someone more by being "polite" and lying.

I wish the show would address the pot directly, but Heather still seems unreasonable to me:

Derek asked her if he was okay > she said yes > the extent of his usage bothered her more than she thought it would OR she lied when she said it was fine > Derek stopped when she told him she was unhappy > despite this concession on his part she made no further attempt to start over, be open to him, give him another chance. I do believe Derek when he whined that she was completely shut down by day three.

Speaking of that there was a few scenes he seemed drunk in but it was always in scenes where the booze was flowing (the wedding, wine tasting, at the house a few times). Either way it didn't do anything to fix his lack of personality. LOL 

As far as asking her, we have no clue what he asked her in terms of smoking. It could have been do you mind if I have a smoke, she says sure thinking its a cigarette and he pulls out a joint. In the end with this we have no idea how it happened. We just know she was ok with occasional cigarette smoking and with that the show/Pepper made her look bad for what happened because they won't admit what it really was. Which was wrong and even worse with one of the "experts" doing it as well. If she was shut down by day 3, I don't blame her from what we saw alone and how he acted. I would have wanted out of that situation as fast as I could have as well.

[Stillhoping]

I still think Nick has never been in love. I dont think he has has had a loving realationship with a woman or a man.

I still feel that he just hooks uprandomly. Snarklepuss had gpod insights on this too...."Commitment phobe

I think Nick would commit (tho maybe not love) the "right" person...I imagine he could fall for any of the successful attractive "stars" of HGTV.maybe some other reality star or a local successful person..a really hotshot real estate agent or business owner.

I think Sonias job and debt might have tipped the scales  

[StayingAfterSunday]

4 hours ago, Soup333 said:

Nick is an ass. Who even cares what his reasons are. Gay, introverted, shy - who cares. I don't see how Sonia could even be cool with him on any level after that. 

Can they cancel this trash show now? Two out of 12 couples is a shit record. Even if Lily and Tom manage to work things out, it's still only 3/12. So many of these people shouldn't even have been cast to match with ANYONE. 

I believe Tom and Lily will make it; I really do.  But, even so,  3/12 is not impressive - how right you are.

The only matchmaker with a worse record is Patty Stanger from Millionnaire Matchmaker.  

[biakbiak]

Lots of reality shows have talked about drugs even in places where the substances are illegal. Hell Intervention and other shows have shown illegal drug use, so I am not buying that as the reason.

Edited September 16, 2016 by biakbiak

[Enero]

^ But that's the point of Intervention to talk about drugs. Most of the individuals on there who are receiving the interventions don't have jobs anyway so they have nothing to lose except their families and lives. And if by some miracle they are working it's usually for themselves or a family member so their drug use being shown wouldn't destroy their career.

I agree with others. I think Derek was smoking weed. If it was cigarettes they would've at least showed him lighting up once or twice. However, we didn't see that at all. Also, the vague speak about the "smoking" and the references to his smoking being a "lifestyle" choice gave me the impression that what he was smoking was more serious than cigarettes. 

Regarding this show in general, this is the first season I've watched and probably will be the last. I know all "reality" shows aren't reality at all but this show is a little bit over the top with it's fakeness and staged drama. Though it's been on a lot longer and has a different premise, I think the Bachelor has perfected the love match reality show. They've had their fair share of failed relationships, but they've also had quite a few couples go on to marry and have families. I think their approach is way better than MAFS.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Enero

[Enero]

So I watched the Confessions show for "Better or Worse" and once again we get to see how inconsistent Nick is with his statements and we see that the show is playing up a narrative. Shocking right? Not. Nick was clearly frustrated that Sonia didn't respond more positively to his comment about not being in love with her and even admitted on camera that he had no connection with her and their relationship wasn't where it should be. 

So why was he telling his mom's boyfriend albeit hesitantly earlier in the episode that he thought the marriage could work? Furthermore why was he telling Dr. Pepper in a previous episode that the marriage was an 8 or 9? It seems like Nick isn't honest with anyone until he gets angry which is not good in any relationship.

Interesting enough, Sonia was pretty consistent in her confessionals. They for the most part fell in line with what airs on the show. Tom and Lily were pretty consistent as well. 

[biakbiak]

I am not saying Derek wasn't necessarily smoking pot, I am just not buying the notion that they can't talk about it was because it was illegal. If Derek were worried about his job he wouldn't have done or spoken about it on camera, again not saying it wasnt pot just that he wasnt concerned. Often people on shows like Intervention have not only been employed but more problematic on parole. I think the network was just trying to streamline the edit particularly because they both agreed she said she was okay with it and then when she told him she was not okay he stopped not because they couldn't televise it because it's illegal. I have a friend who is an international flight attendant and lives with her boyfriend who is an artist who wakes and bakes (technically illegal for him in CA because he cant be bothered to get a Drs note) there has never been in issue.

Most of my friends who smoke pot you would never know it. They certainly don't reek it., hygiene goes along way and even the crap shit doesnt linger like tobacco (unless it's mixed with tobacco). I know several people who do it daily and none of the partners who have jobs that require jobs with drug tests have ever failed one. Heck I have only had to take one drug test in my entire life during my senior year in college, i dont smoke but I lived with a bunch of pot heads and routinely thought I was getting a contact high and passed without an issue.

Edited September 16, 2016 by biakbiak

[Neurochick]

On 9/15/2016 at 6:49 AM, HZAnita said:

After seeing all of that in the preview, I have no idea how Sonia can remain as seemingly friendly with Nick as she has.  His outburst in the preview kind of scared me a bit.  He seems so outwardly bland, the level of anger/frustration he showed was jarring.  I guess that's because he's been bottling his feelings up all of this time and lying to the cameras.  It's tough to live a lie.

It didn't scare me, it made me happy; thank you for FINALLY opening up.  Nick opened up but it wasn't what Sonia wanted to hear.  I watched that preview, and if you keep watching, you see Sonia with her bags, walking out the door, I guess she was walking out of their rental.  I wonder if that means she's done?

I still don't think Nick is gay, I do think that Nick is this season's Ashley, only Nick did open up, where Ashley didn't.  For me, if I'm attracted to a man, I'm all in, but if I'm not attracted to a man, he disgusts me and I don't want him even touching me.  Some people are all or nothing, maybe that's how Nick is and how Ashley was; it's probably how Heather is as well.  I don't think that's some kind of "disorder" it's just how a person is. 

The only reason they'll cancel this show is because the ratings are in the toilet.  If people are still watching, it'll go on forever. 

Edited September 16, 2016 by Neurochick

[HZAnita]

9 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

It didn't scare me, it made me happy; thank you for FINALLY opening up.  Nick opened up but it wasn't what Sonia wanted to hear.  I watched that preview, and if you keep watching, you see Sonia with her bags, walking out the door, I guess she was walking out of their rental.  I wonder if that means she's done?

I still don't think Nick is gay, I do think that Nick is this season's Ashley, only Nick did open up, where Ashley didn't.  For me, if I'm attracted to a man, I'm all in, but if I'm not attracted to a man, he disgusts me and I don't want him even touching me.  Some people are all or nothing, maybe that's how Nick is and how Ashley was; it's probably how Heather is as well.  I don't think that's some kind of "disorder" it's just how a person is. 

The only reason they'll cancel this show is because the ratings are in the toilet.  If people are still watching, it'll go on forever. 

I don't mind that he opened up and was honest.  What I do mind was that he was (apparently) lying to the camera/audience for the last nine episodes. Gay or straight, he seems to be a liar.

[Neurochick]

4 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

I don't mind that he opened up and was honest.  What I do mind was that he was (apparently) lying to the camera/audience for the last nine episodes. Gay or straight, he seems to be a liar.

I don't think he was lying.  It's not like he had sex with her and then told her he wasn't attracted.  His body language gave off vibes that he wasn't into her.  I read another post where someone wondered if he was into Latinas; that could be true.  What if Nick is into redheads or tall blondes?

When men fill out dating profiles, I've noticed they don't have issues with saying they don't like black women; (don't know why) but might be mum on women of other nationalities. 

[Enero]

29 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

I don't mind that he opened up and was honest.  What I do mind was that he was (apparently) lying to the camera/audience for the last nine episodes. Gay or straight, he seems to be a liar.

I agree with this. Though his actions said otherwise he was telling the audience he liked Sonia, thought she was beautiful and wanted to have sex with her. He even told his mom's boyfriend the other week that he thought the marriage would work, and told Dr. Pepper that the marriage was an 8 or 9 out of 10, to me that's lying. 

We shouldn't be surprised though because at the wedding he lied to his mom about telling Sonia she was beautiful, until she called him on the lie. That gave me pause, but I hand waved it as nerves and so much going on that he probably forgot. Now it appears that's sort of his MO, to be dishonest. 

Edited September 16, 2016 by Enero

[BunnySlippers]

7 minutes ago, Enero said:

I agree with this. Though his actions said otherwise he was telling the audience he liked Sonia, thought she was beautiful and wanted to have sex with her. He even told his mom's boyfriend the other week that he thought the marriage would work, and told Dr. Pepper that the marriage was an 8 or 9 out of 10, to me that's lying. 

We shouldn't be surprised though because at the wedding he lied to his mom about telling Sonia she was beautiful, until she called him on the lie. That gave me pause but I hand waved it as nerves and so much going on he probably forgot. Now it appears that's sort his MO, to be dishonest. 

I agree. And if he's a habitual liar, then it's in Sonia's best interest to get out. You can not trust a person like that.

[humbleopinion]

Nick's confession does work out for the show's logistics...of course.

The crew that was following Heather/Derek can follow Sonia when she vacates the dog run/house she shared with Nick.

I will flip a table if the "experts" try to get them into more couples therapy.

[henrysmom]

Quote

You know, I don't blame Heather. If a man can't put his best foot forward during, at least, the first week of marriage, what is there to look forward to?

I agree.  I don't think Heather is blameless-- I think she checked out of the marriage sometime after the wedding and before the brunch.

 But the unpleasant way Derek reacted--stalking away from her after the smoking conversation on the beach, accusing her of flirting with the surfing instructor (I noticed the instructors for the other couples all tended to take the woman's hand, and neither Tom or Nick seemed to care), getting mad when she left him in the cave, etc.

 I realize Derek was angry because he realized Heather wasn't into him, but his reactions weren't pleasant.  I wouldn't want to be with somebody who got angry over little things like that either.  There were huge red flags on both sides in this match.  I'm just glad the show let Heather bail and didn't drag this train wreck out for the full time like the Ashley/David mess of last season.   That was just brutally painful to watch.

 

Quote

We shouldn't be surprised though because at the wedding he lied to his mom about telling Sonia she was beautiful, until she called him on the lie. 

It wasn't necessarily a lie.  She was beautiful.  I thought she was beautiful too, but I'm not attracted to her.  Could be the same with him.  Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean everyone in the world is going to be attracted to them.  

[gonecrackers]

9 hours ago, Stillhoping said:

I still think Nick has never been in love. I dont think he has has had a loving realationship with a woman or a man.

I still feel that he just hooks uprandomly. Snarklepuss had gpod insights on this too...."Commitment phobe

I think Nick would commit (tho maybe not love) the "right" person...I imagine he could fall for any of the successful attractive "stars" of HGTV.maybe some other reality star or a local successful person..a really hotshot real estate agent or business owner.

I think Sonias job and debt might have tipped the scales  

I think the dog thing tipped the scales right from the get go - right at the wedding when she said she was afraid. Knowing how in love he is with them if he already wasn't feeling any attraction that may have done it.

But also he may be intimacy anorexic (can look it up), if it's a chronic problem for him or he only has superficial relationships, he shouldn't get involved with anyone again until he sorts that out. I agree with the poster who said (sorry I can't recall who) he should've been self aware enough to know this was not the show for him (unless all he cared about was publicity).

[gonecrackers]

42 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

It wasn't necessarily a lie.  She was beautiful.  I thought she was beautiful too, but I'm not attracted to her.  Could be the same with him.  Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean everyone in the world is going to be attracted to them.  

The problem I find with that is when he goes on his rant he says he doesn't think she's attractive & also that he's not attracted to her - so he said both. Why would he say that?  I think it's perfectly fine to say he's not attracted to her, but to say she's not attractive was cruel & unnecessary. The "I don't like her" was juvenile. Holding back, pretending (for what, the show? to be polite?) - now he's not so polite anymore. It's all the stuff of being a man-child.

[Waterlilly]

I noticed the difference between nick's dogs and Tom and Lilly's dogs. I don't think Sonia would be afraid of their dogs because they are so chill.

[BunnySlippers]

46 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

It wasn't necessarily a lie.  She was beautiful.  I thought she was beautiful too, but I'm not attracted to her.  Could be the same with him.  Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean everyone in the world is going to be attracted to them.  

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

[Soup333]

2 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

Right. He lied and it gave me pause. That's probably how he is, since he's evidently been lying this entire time. Sonia should move out and move on. Nothing can be fixed here. 

[BunnySlippers]

2 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Right. He lied and it gave me pause. That's probably how he is, since he's evidently been lying this entire time. Sonia should move out and move on. Nothing can be fixed here. 

Exactly.

[SaucyMommy]

I agree with whoever said it - that Sonia isn't necessarily clingy and insecure but rather his behavior makes her feel that way. He's not giving her anything and she knows that. He assumes she is in to him. But she rated the marriage a 5 where he said an 8. Clearly she is not happy with things. She doesn't like the dogs, doesn't like the way he communicates and isn't really happy with the fact that she walks on egg shells around him. It seems like she was raised to be polite and is polite. She's trying - the way the participants should try. Like how David appeared to be desperate around Ashley. He was just TRYING. Nick is shut down and his total coldness is making her feel not only insecure but probably doubtful about his intentions which is why she keeps probing him.

[humbleopinion]

The Peke reclining on her back in the hallway while all the door closing went on pretty much summed up the situation.

Everyone needs to relax.

[Stinamaia]

12 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

The problem I find with that is when he goes on his rant he says he doesn't think she's attractive & also that he's not attracted to her - so he said both. Why would he say that?  I think it's perfectly fine to say he's not attracted to her, but to say she's not attractive was cruel & unnecessary. The "I don't like her" was juvenile. Holding back, pretending (for what, the show? to be polite?) - now he's not so polite anymore. It's all the stuff of being a man-child.

This is how I see it: The producers had been asking him questions repeatedly during the filming and doing it over and over.  Are you attracted to her? Do you think she is attractive? Do you like her? These questions and variations on these questions came up again and again.  When Nick snapped, he was angry at Sonia and the producers and spit out all the answers they had been probing and prodding for over and over.  That's why we got such a recitation.

I'm not diminishing Sonia's feelings in anyway, but as s viewer, I had to laugh when I saw motor mouth Nick emerge.  We had weeks of him nearly unable to string together words that formed a complete sentence, and boom! Suddenly he could speak in a whole paragraph.  

I do agree with others that bottling up his feelings caused the eruption. I saw both Sonia and Nick being afraid to ask and answer question because of fears.  It seemed to me that Sonia could never summon up the gumption to ask if he was attracted to her or wanted to have sex with her. Nick, for whatever reasons, was equally afraid to state his true feelings.  

I don't understand Nick.  Maybe it was a mistake to match such a white bread guy with a quirky Latina woman.  I think she's lovely.  Her hesitant way of talking is problematic, but I think that's because Nick makes her feel so unsure about herself.   Maybe not.   I don't see a way for them to rebuild a romance. That's too bad because I think she could use his more methodical approach and he could use her bubbly, live for the moment  approach.  They would even each other out.

[Neurochick]

33 minutes ago, BunnySlippers said:

Nick didn't tell Sonia at the wedding that she was beautiful. He said nothing to her about finding her attractive. After Sonia had said something about it to his mother, his mother asked Nick if he had told Sonia that she was beautiful. He said he had. And that was the lie. I don't think he just forgot; I think he didn't find her attractive, didn't tell Sonia she was attractive, and when his mother asked him about it, he just lied.

Yes, but he probably wanted to get his mother off his back.  I don't get all this analysis of Nick.  Some people just aren't attracted to others, and there's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nick is this season's Ashley, only we knew from the wedding day that Ashley wasn't into David. 

I wonder if Nick had been honest with Sonia from the beginning, what people would have thought about him.  It's like people get upset when others aren't honest but what we really mean is "I want you to be honest the way I want you to be honest."  So when you tell people the truth and they don't like what you're telling them, they get pissed off; so instead of being honest, Nick kept everything close to the vest and when he couldn't take any more, he blew up.

Edited September 16, 2016 by Neurochick