MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[HZAnita]

6 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

I may be in the minority here but I like Heather and she does not seem like an Ash;ey type at all, There are 465889 billion different personality types and just because she is not open-arms huggy kissy like Lilly, doesnt make her an "Ashley." Ashley almodt never appeared on camera without a full face of makeup professionally done and hair. Heather is very "real" on camera down to her morning-after big glasses and no makeup. She is just not as romantic as Lilly and TBH it may be cultural. To be fair she even snuggled on camera with Derek in bed. 

I think Heather is okay, but she seems too ready to be disappointed.  Maybe she's just trying to protect herself from being hurt.

[ctbabe]

Heather is not ready for marriage. Nitpicking.. finding faults with everything and not communicating. 

Edited August 10, 2016 by ctbabe

[HZAnita]

2 hours ago, ctbabe said:

I just saw a preview where Heather said she is a recovering alcoholic. I kind of get where she is coming from. Running away from temptation.

What???  Really?  Hasn't she been drinking champagne???

[CarbonCopy]

36 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

What???  Really?  Hasn't she been drinking champagne???

She's been drinking during her honeymoon as well. I wonder if the original poster heard correctly? 

[ctbabe]

1 minute ago, CarbonCopy said:

She's been drinking during her honeymoon as well. I wonder if the original poster heard correctly? 

I heard correctly.. it's for the next episode. She was doing like a drinking game with him. I think she thought he was an alcoholic. Remember she had a DUI in 2012/2013... it definitely makes sense. 

[HZAnita]

1 minute ago, ctbabe said:

I heard correctly.. it's for the next episode. She was doing like a drinking game with him. I think she thought he was an alcoholic. Remember she had a DUI in 2012/2013... it definitely makes sense. 

So, during a DRINKING game, Heather actually said - on camera - that she was a *recovering* alcoholic??  Oy....

[ctbabe]

3 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

So, during a DRINKING game, Heather actually said - on camera - that she was a *recovering* alcoholic??  Oy....

He said he didn't know she was a recovering alcoholic. Maybe we should wait for the new preview. 

[HZAnita]

4 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

He said he didn't know she was a recovering alcoholic. Maybe we should wait for the new preview. 

Yeah.  I'll have to wait for the preview.  If Derek said it, I could totally see that being a snarky response to her criticism. 

[biakbiak]

Yeah given her mother said wine was the way to her heart and they were both drinking mojitos it seems unlikely that she is a recovering alcoholic. 

[ctbabe]

Let's hope I am wrong because I definitely saw it in the preview before the episode aired. 

[ctbabe]

So I am baffled by something Derek's friend said during Unfiltered and also the rumor. So he asked for her permission to smoke, she agreed and then complained or maybe bailed because of it. 

Why didn't she say no when he asked for her permission? Did she just set him up to fail? I just wonder.

[Snarklepuss]

9 hours ago, HZAnita said:

I think Heather is okay, but she seems too ready to be disappointed.  Maybe she's just trying to protect herself from being hurt.

ITA with this.  I smell baggage times ten.  In that clip it's like she already thinks Derek is the embodiment of everything she's trying to get away from in her own life.  Just like she's not Ashley, Derek is not her from her past or any guy she was with in her past and at that point she should really not be nailing him to the cross on every little thing and blowing everything up into a red flag.  UNLESSS......She's reacting to finding out that he smokes weed.  I wouldn't blame her for acting like she did in that clip if the reason is she found out he smokes weed.  She said "occasional" to smoking, not to weed so this may be the real issue.  I'm not sure the show would out him on that so they may be making the issue about smoking in general, which would make Heather look like she's being too hard on him when she may not be.

[HZAnita]

3 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

ITA with this.  I smell baggage times ten.  In that clip it's like she already thinks Derek is the embodiment of everything she's trying to get away from in her own life.  Just like she's not Ashley, Derek is not her from her past or any guy she was with in her past and at that point she should really not be nailing him to the cross on every little thing and blowing everything up into a red flag.  UNLESSS......She's reacting to finding out that he smokes weed.  I wouldn't blame her for acting like she did in that clip if the reason is she found out he smokes weed.  She said "occasional" to smoking, not to weed so this may be the real issue.  I'm not sure the show would out him on that so they may be making the issue about smoking in general, which would make Heather look like she's being too hard on him when she may not be.

I don't know about the weed thing.  She had warning signs in her eyes even when he casually mentioned that there was a casino!! And then it was like she was keeping note of how much he drank.  You could see her making a checklist in her mind of little things of which she disapproved.  The second he steps out of line (in other words, isn't perfect), she will step out of the relationship.  Maybe she has picked guys in her past who had issues with gambling or drinking or lying.  Whatever.  If that's the case and she hasn't let go yet, she probably shouldn't be on the show.

[Snarklepuss]

1 minute ago, HZAnita said:

I don't know about the weed thing.  She had warning signs in her eyes even when he casually mentioned that there was a casino!! And then it was like she was keeping note of how much he drank.  You could see her making a checklist in her mind of little things of which she disapproved.  The second he steps out of line (in other words, isn't perfect), she will step out of the relationship.  Maybe she has picked guys in her past who had issues with gambling or drinking or lying.  Whatever.  If that's the case and she hasn't let go yet, she probably shouldn't be on the show.

I don't think she should be assuming the worst of Derek so early on if all he does is smoke an occasional cigarrette.  But I can understand her catastophizing and becoming paranoid about other deal breakers if she found out about him smoking weed.  She would be thinking to herself, "What ELSE does he do that I wouldn't approve of?" and going on a mission to find it.   I think that's only natural.   But if it isn't in response to him smoking weed or something equally as deal-breaker-ish that she found out about, then I agree she is not ready for marriage and is being too hard on him.  Of course the show is probably not going to "out" him on smoking weed if that's the case, though.

[ctbabe]

19 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

I don't know about the weed thing.  She had warning signs in her eyes even when he casually mentioned that there was a casino!! And then it was like she was keeping note of how much he drank.  You could see her making a checklist in her mind of little things of which she disapproved.  The second he steps out of line (in other words, isn't perfect), she will step out of the relationship.  Maybe she has picked guys in her past who had issues with gambling or drinking or lying.  Whatever.  If that's the case and she hasn't let go yet, she probably shouldn't be on the show.

I totally agree with you the checklist started with gambling then alcohol. Remember when he said he wanted another one glass of their honeymoon welcome drink. Did you see the look in her eyes? Another red flag.. I think the weed issue was probably the last straw. She definitely was not ready.

[Lion18]

She should have been adamant about telling the " experts" that she doesn't want a man who gambles, smokes or uses any type of substance. Those are my deal breakers. Which is fine but who knows if she was specific enough

[Babyitsmb]

1 hour ago, Lion18 said:

She should have been adamant about telling the " experts" that she doesn't want a man who gambles, smokes or uses any type of substance. Those are my deal breakers. Which is fine but who knows if she was specific enough

She marked on the questionnaire that smoking and gambling were not deal breakers so she lied on the questionnaire and this what happens the experts can only go on what is told to them

[cardigirl]

13 hours ago, ctbabe said:

He said he didn't know she was a recovering alcoholic. Maybe we should wait for the new preview. 

I thought he said he didn't know he had married an alcoholic.  I did not hear recovering at all.  I thought it was something said in anger when she accused him of something.  I'll rewatch, but I don't think she's actually an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise, at this point.  We've not been given enough information through the show.

Edited August 10, 2016 by cardigirl

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Lion18 said:

She should have been adamant about telling the " experts" that she doesn't want a man who gambles, smokes or uses any type of substance. Those are my deal breakers. Which is fine but who knows if she was specific enough

This is why I can't fault the experts 100%.  They are only dealing with what people tell them.  If people don't know themselves, what they don't like, what they like, then the experts or no one can really help them.

[Jack Sampson]

How could it have been weed?  They got on a flight, then went directly to the hotel from the airport.  Unless he risked going through security with it (which is still pretty risky) or found someone in the lobby, he didn't have time to find any.

Edited August 10, 2016 by Jack Sampson

[henrysmom]

Quote

I don't usually get involved with online drama, but that Twitter post from MAFS_Original pisses me off.  I watched a Twitter drama unfold yesterday involving MAFS_Original and feel the need to speak up about it.

Thank you for posting the explanation of the tweet.  I am not a Twitter person so when I saw MAPS Original, I thought somebody associated with the show had posted that, which confused me because I know the show likes the drama.  Knowing it was just some random person apparently going after Heather just seems peculiar.  

I'm kind of on the fence about Heather after last night's episode.  She really seems to have some baggage, which isn't surprising at her age.  She's probably dated a lot and run into a lot of bad guys, so seemingly everything could be a red flag to her.  You tend to be a little more naive/trusting when you are 20-25, but when you get to the point where you've been lied to or manipulated or whatever might have happened in her past relationships, you just develop a harder shell.  I don't blame her for taking things slowly, and wanting to figure out whether the red flags she is spotting are really things she needs to be concerned about.

[Jellybeans]

I am not seeing weed usage in Derick.  

If Heather is a "recovering alcoholic" she will always be a recovering alcoholic. There is no such thing as a "recovered" alcoholic.  She can never drink. Since she is shown drinking I am not sure if she is an alcoholic or she may be drinking non-alcoholic beverages masquerading as alcoholic ones.

Unfortunately I am very familiar with alcoholism in my family.  

[yellow]

As someone who has been around weed a lot, and smoked quite a bit when I was younger, the smoking they are talking about is definitely weed. Mark my words, they may never confirm that in the show - and that makes me feel bad for Heather because most viewers will think she's crazy - but I'm sure news sites will confirm at some point. Derek is a total stoner. That lifestyle is very different than the life of a flight attendant go-getter type. They won't work out. 

[Jellybeans]

We will have to disagree.  I use every day (I have MS) but no one calls me a stoner.  Nor are my eyes as cute as Dereck's!  ?

[yellow]

I think Derek is super cute! Out of all the guys, he'd be my pick. Now, I'm new to this forum, so I hope spoilers are okay here. But I just did some googling and it's def weed haha. There are a bunch of articles out about it now.

[Lovecat]

I read this thread before watching the episode, so I knew Derek's smoking was going to be A Thing...and was super-amused to see a Chantix commercial air immediately after one of Heather and Derek's segments.  Hee!

[Snarklepuss]

19 minutes ago, yellow said:

As someone who has been around weed a lot, and smoked quite a bit when I was younger, the smoking they are talking about is definitely weed. Mark my words, they may never confirm that in the show - and that makes me feel bad for Heather because most viewers will think she's crazy - but I'm sure news sites will confirm at some point. Derek is a total stoner. That lifestyle is very different than the life of a flight attendant go-getter type. They won't work out. 

ITA but also because of what was said upthread about her seeing it as a threat to her career if found out.  I was never a weed smoker myself but back in the day I knew zillions of them and I am pretty sure that's what he is.  He seems like more than an "occasional" smoker, too.  I feel sorry for Heather too because the show will make it look like all she's harping on is a few cigarettes when in reality she just doesn't want to be with Cheech or Chong 30 years later.  We don't really have any way of knowing what the show asked her about her tolerance level for pot smoking either so I'm not going to blame her for them matching her with a user.  Besides, it's ILLEGAL in Florida so it doesn't matter if she told them she was OK with an occasional pot smoker - the show should not have paired her with someone who was breaking the law.

15 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

We will have to disagree.  I use every day (I have MS) but no one calls me a stoner.  Nor are my eyes as cute as Dereck's!  ?

Medical usage is not the same as that of a "stoner" so don't worry that anyone here would ever lump you in that category.

[Jellybeans]

The thing about medical vs recreational use is...it is the same stuff lol.  If anything, medical mj is higher in THC count than recreational weed.  And if I use edibles I have the "stoner look".  I hate edibles so it is not an issue.  I think the main difference is medical is much stronger and one has the option of buying CBD only.  (the kind that does not get you high)  

I agree it is a problem if he uses because it is illegal in Florida.  I am not convinced it is pot... I think cigarettes but I am willing to be wrong.

[HZAnita]

Finally saw the preview.  So, Heather is neither recovering nor an alcoholic.  It definitely looked like they were in the middle of a heated argument and he lashed out.  I am curious what she said to him before that though, because it seemed more like an angry retort than an accusation. 

[Trixie Belden]

2 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

How could it have been weed?  They got on a flight, then went directly to the hotel from the airport.  Unless he risked going through security with it (which is still pretty risky) or found someone in the lobby, he didn't have time to find any.

They're in Puerto Rico.  Guaranteed he was approached while at baggage claim.  

1 hour ago, Jellybeans said:

We will have to disagree.  I use every day (I have MS) but no one calls me a stoner.  Nor are my eyes as cute as Dereck's!  ?

I really think that there's a difference between a medical and recreational user.  Medical use for pain/nausea/glaucoma can be either edible or smoked and is (usually) taken on an as needed basis.  Recreational use can (sometimes) lead to dependence.  Think of people who use adderall for ADHD v. people who just take it for fun.  It feels different.  

Derek is a heavy dependent user.  If you've been around a person who smokes it like cigarettes, all day every day, you recognize the signs quickly.  I don't think smoking pot makes him a bad guy, but maybe it makes him a bad guy for Heather.

[ctbabe]

39 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

Finally saw the preview.  So, Heather is neither recovering nor an alcoholic.  It definitely looked like they were in the middle of a heated argument and he lashed out.  I am curious what she said to him before that though, because it seemed more like an angry retort than an accusation. 

I kind of feel bad for her though. Why didn't they match her with someone with a less severe habit? 

[Evil Queen]

57 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

The thing about medical vs recreational use is...it is the same stuff lol.  If anything, medical mj is higher in THC count than recreational weed.  And if I use edibles I have the "stoner look".  I hate edibles so it is not an issue.  I think the main difference is medical is much stronger and one has the option of buying CBD only.  (the kind that does not get you high)  

I agree it is a problem if he uses because it is illegal in Florida.  I am not convinced it is pot... I think cigarettes but I am willing to be wrong.

I was going to say that from my understanding with being in a state that is medical use only, that there are different types of it that will help with the pain but won't get you high or the high feeling. Then there are the kind that do both and such. Obviously I don't think all using it for medical reasons is a stoner but I do think some out there will use whatever excuse they can to get it and get high. Not saying that is you at all Jellybeans so please don't think that. I just know from being around many that did use it though that Derek has that look most the time to him. The times he doesn't look it is rare in his shots and his eyes are more open and not so squinty I noticed. 

27 minutes ago, Trixie Belden said:

They're in Puerto Rico.  Guaranteed he was approached while at baggage claim.  

I really think that there's a difference between a medical and recreational user.  Medical use for pain/nausea/glaucoma can be either edible or smoked and is (usually) taken on an as needed basis.  Recreational use can (sometimes) lead to dependence.  Think of people who use adderall for ADHD v. people who just take it for fun.  It feels different.  

Derek is a heavy dependent user.  If you've been around a person who smokes it like cigarettes, all day every day, you recognize the signs quickly.  I don't think smoking pot makes him a bad guy, but maybe it makes him a bad guy for Heather.

Agree there can be a difference with some that use for medical and those you do it recreational. Derek is obviously dependent. And sure it doesn't make him a bad guy but he shouldn't have been put on this show or he should have mellowed on it. 

  For someone that said that Heather said in her application she didn't want a smoker or gambler...I don't remember us seeing these questions asked on air. Just Pepper saying it was ok if someone was an occasional smoker. I didn't hear the gambling mentioned at all until they went past the casino. She said she didn't care for it which is fine. Not everyone does. I know my husband doesn't but if we were in a place with it he wouldn't tell me not to. Maybe Heather has had to many guys in her life that have had issues with gambling and some sort of other addiction. Either way though, I don't see the so called "experts" doing their jobs in how they match people still. More so if it is true that Derek is smoking pot. Which yes I do think it is. 

[jenrising]

I think it's understandable that Heather's having a problem with Derek wanting to smoke so soon. Maybe she's okay with it in general, but wonders what it means that they've been married for one day and he's already getting high. It could mean he's comfortable with her, or he didn't think of it, or that he's got a serious habit. In her position I think I'd be a bit concerned too. 

It's interesting in general that they really only get to know each other on the honeymoon. Some people are wilder on vacation, but that might not be the best first impression. I'd be getting up around lunchtime and day drinking, which is not how I act at home (mostly). 

[atomic]

It looked like Derek was about to address the weed speculation, but then deleted this tweet a few minutes later.

Makes you wonder why he had second thoughts if it really was just cigarettes he was smoking.

[ctbabe]

13 minutes ago, atomic said:

It looked like Derek was about to address the weed speculation, but then deleted this tweet a few minutes later.

Makes you wonder why he had second thoughts if it really was just cigarettes he was smoking.

I Don't Think It Means Anything. He does that on twitter a lot. Interacts with people 

[Stillhoping]

I live in fl and it is illegal. There is no medical mj here either. Driving while high can be a real mess.  Fl also does not have some decriminalized pay a parking ticket deal either.    Atvthe very least u are talking court fees..fines..have to pay for "Counseling" sessions                         I doubt the show will out him directly which leaves Heather looking crazy I agree. Her job is such that she cant smoke even if she lived in Colorado haha. She cant afford the risk.

[atomic]

I know Derek is really interactive with fans on Twitter. I just wonder why he addressed that tweet in the first place only to delete it a few minutes later. If it was just cigarettes he was smoking why did he decide it was a bad idea to broach the subject? I don't think there's any reason to do that unless the truth is going to cast him in an unfavorable light.

[atomic]

.

Edited August 11, 2016 by atomic

[ctbabe]

8 minutes ago, atomic said:

I know Derek is really interactive with fans on Twitter. I just wonder why he addressed that tweet in the first place only to delete it a few minutes later. If it was just cigarettes he was smoking why did he decide it was a bad idea to broach the subject? I don't think there's any reason to do that unless the truth is going to cast him in an unfavorable light.

Maybe he was going to address it then the producers got involved. 

[ctbabe]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=531215200414804&id=296143973921929&fs=5

[HZAnita]

9 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=531215200414804&id=296143973921929&fs=5

Man.  Derek appears so completely oblivious in that biking clip.  He's like, "We're well matched" and she's rolling her eyes.  They are really editing Heather as the "villain" so far...:/

[ctbabe]

6 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

Man.  Derek appears so completely oblivious in that biking clip.  He's like, "We're well matched" and she's rolling her eyes.  They are really editing Heather as the "villain" so far...:/

I don't think She is communicating her displeasure. That is the major issue. She is filing everything which would make cause a terrible blowup.

BTW why didnt she ask to do something interesting instead of complaining in the talking head? 

[HZAnita]

Just now, ctbabe said:

I don't think She is communicating her displeasure. That is the major issue. She is filing everything which would make cause a terrible blowup.

BTW why didnt she ask to do something interesting instead of complaining in the talking head? 

Well, even during the matchmaking episodes, she said that she wants to do things (and they showed her riding her bike), but doesn't like to do them alone.  Maybe she's just one of those people who follows instead of leads and expects the other person to come up with interesting activities?  I don't know.  She seems like she's just...not a happy person.

[Jellybeans]

Dereck seems like a happy person.  Heather does not.  

It is showing up in their "relationship".  Something tells me no matter who they matched Heather with, there would be a problem.  

[HZAnita]

Yeah.  Heather has completely checked out.

[Jack Sampson]

47 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

Yeah.  Heather has completely checked out.

 

At least it looks like Derek, unlike David, stands up for himself. 

[ctbabe]

51 minutes ago, HZAnita said:

Yeah.  Heather has completely checked out.

Super checked out.. she didn't even give him a chance to fix things 

[cardigirl]

Heather says, "If we were dating, I wouldn't give him a second look."  That's pretty cold, and also?  You're not dating, you're married, so you're gonna have to figure this out, kiddo.  

[Lola16]

Heather's relationship personality reminds me of Christina's in Married by Mom & Dad.  She has a checklist of what she wants (even if she denies it) and measures the guy up against it.  The wedding is more important than the actual marriage.  And once it's done, and she's had her party, it's NEXT!  Christina's second fiance had to work triple time to get through the honeymoon and then even harder once it was over.  He was no pushover but he had to really keep pivoting to make it work.  I don't see Derek doing that.  Nor should he.

This is why the 'experts' need to offer some counseling on their issues before the big day.  Heather knows she's a controlling nitpicker -- and she's going to sabotage her relationships until the guys leave.  Maybe they could have talked to her about that?

Nah, wouldn't be good for ratings I suppose.

[henrysmom]

Quote

Yeah.  Heather has completely checked out.

Oh wow...yeah, at best we have two surviving couples this year.  Derek and Heather are toast.