S04.E07: Chapter Sixty-Four: The Ice Storm

[Bort]

Archie’s plan to host a peaceful Thanksgiving dinner at the community center quickly gets derailed when some unexpected guests arrive. Stranded at Stonewall Prep by an ice storm, Jughead and Betty search for clues about a recent death on campus. Elsewhere, while FP, Alice, Hiram and Hermione wait out the storm together at Pop’s, Cheryl and Toni get resourceful as they host a dinner for Cheryl’s family.

Airdate: Wednesday, November 20, 2019

[Snookums]

Man, unfair, show--yanking my heartstrings at the end like that. But I guess it's a Thanksgiving episode, so! (Did Archie have that plaque ready to go or what? Mary was wearing the same hideous blouse she had on for the scene right before, so, I guess so?)

In that spirit, I'm most thankful for:

Veronica yanking that tablecloth to hell and gone; go girl! I hope the show sticks to these guns for a while and doesn't try any "but Ronnie just wants her family to be together" nonsense again. They burned that bridge long ago and really, it's more fun to watch Mark go full Villain than to pretend these two have anything resembling a healthy relationship. Also, Boring Older Sister seems to have vanished back to Miami, yay! This triangle doesn't need any more sides.

Betty whanging Bret The Most Punchable with a golf club. Then, when he and Donna have the platinum plated nerve to complain about said whanging, "Well, now he's bleeding and I'm guessing the infirmary's locked up tight." Extra points for the THREE STITCHES she put in with--what? regular thread?--and adding "maybe this will teach you not to put on a mask and threaten my boyfriend with an axe." Yank! Damn, girl, you cold!

The DICKINSONS plotting the stupidest revenge ever for their comatose moron family member/bread winner, Dodger (and again, extra points for kidnapping said comatose man from the only hospital where no alarms go off at the nurses' station when the guy apparently flatlines after they unhook him from all his mechanical support.) 

Cheryl deciding every family needs to renact Titus Andronicus for their family get-together. Nana Rose playing her part right on cue made it extra special. Speaking of extra, gotta love Cheryl's cheerful chirping of her plans to get rid of Bedford; "The ice will keep him down all winter and by spring the salmon will have gobbled up his eyes!" Toni, I don't want to tell you your business but YOU IN DANGER, GIRL. 

Triple honorable mentions for:

The Spartacus moment featuring three twelve year olds who collectively couldn't beat up a butterfly, let alone a full grown man.

FP realizing that in Riverdale World there's no reason he can't openly be a gang member and sheriff--makes as much sense as anything else!

And of course, Archie being Archie and deciding to deep fry a turkey inside. 

[thuganomics85]

So, of course, Hiram is already the mayor since he ran unopposed.  I swear, this silly town never fails to amaze me over how they seem to let everyone walk over them.  Sure, let the mobster run the show.  Especially one who gets outwitted by his teenage daughter half of the time.  

Oh,Mary!  For you, this episode was a crazy one, but for everyone else?  Getting held at gunpoint by the family of the drug dealer you are currently feuding with, doesn't quite compare to dealing with murder mysterious, evil tabletop games, cosplayers running a-mock, and a crazy cult led by the guy from One Tree Hill!

I laughed for a good minute when Veronica just yanked the tablecloth off and ruined Thanksgiving dinner for the Lodges.  Hey, sometimes, it's cool to fight pettiness with pettiness!

Jughead and Betty suspect that Brent and Donna know something about Chipping's suicide, and while it currently ends with Donna claiming she had an affair with him and he got too obsessed, I ain't buying it.  Don't you dare sully Sam Witwer's reputation!

All of the "older" actors seemed to be having a ball during the FP/Alice/Lodge scenes.  Hey, this might not be high art, but I suspect they are having the time of their life with this camp!

Cheryl and Toni do what they do best by bringing in more craziness, but at least they didn't resort to actual cannibalism (yet?)

The ending sure did get emotional though.  Sniff, I miss Fred!  And Luke Perry.

[Snookums]

Quote

So, of course, Hiram is already the mayor since he ran unopposed.  I swear, this silly town never fails to amaze me over how they seem to let everyone walk over them.  Sure, let the mobster run the show.  Especially one who gets outwitted by his teenage daughter half of the time.  

At this point I'm surprised Hot Dog isn't mayor. I did enjoy how they just went "and he ran unopposed and became Mayor five minutes later, shut up" because does anybody have the strength to watch Hiram campaign, even with his shirt off? Just get on with it.

Query: does anybody know where the non-blown up replacement turkey at the gym came from? 

[NeenerNeener]

Damn, Azura Skye is now rough-looking enough to play the mother of an adult actor. She was born the same year as the actor who played her son.

Edited November 21, 2019 by NeenerNeener

[Daisymom10]

Dodger’s “mom” is Darla, the shady man’s girlfriend, right? I assume the show isn’t just reusing an actor in a different role and making them use that horrific accent that Darla had. Apologies to the actress if that is her actual accent, but I’m from Georgia and that just doesn’t sound right.

[Chaos Theory]

When this show fires on all cylinders it’s high camp fun.  Which it was this episode.

i absolutely loved the Spartacus moment in Archie’s club because it fit with what he was trying to do in the community.  And it did fit the moment in the movie as well.   The slaves in the army had already been captured and were gonna die anyway.   Rome wanted to be sure they had Spartacus to make an example of.  So the moment worked for me.  Plus Mommy Andrews is a badass as well.  It might be fun to see the battle of the good moms.

It isn’t Thanksgiving unless there is a little Cannabalism.   I just hope the show is stepping away from crazy Cheryl and incorporating her into the bigger plot.

How the hell did the town mobster become mayor and the guy who ran one of the biggest gangs in town become sherif?   Gotta love Riverdale where prison time doesn’t preclude you from a public office.   Wait hey does that mean Archie can be mayor some day?   
 

I also really loved Betty’s glee at getting to eat junk food for Thanksgiving.   Also quickly taking out the prep schoolers who were pranking Jughead.   “Don’t threaten my boyfriend with an axe”.  Betty should get that on a tshirt.   

[Lady Calypso]

Ok, show, you didn't prepare me for all of the Fred Andrews references this episode...combined with a picture at the end! They literally got me to tear up within seconds during that end scene. Good job, show. 

The Archie club stuff went about as well as I expected. But I did laugh at Archie's "Welcome to Riverdale" with Mary at the end. She certainly wasn't prepared for the craziness that Archie's grown up around. Being held at gunpoint is just another day for him.

The Spartacus moment was hilarious, as was Archie's stupidity actually saving his life. I had a good laugh at Mary's incredulous "Who is deep frying a turkey INDOORS?" after holding a gun at Dodger's same age mother. Your son, Mary. Your son. 

I had a good laugh at Veronica ruining her family's Thanksgiving dinner. But girl, seriously, just move out. It's not worth it, at this point. Your family sucks. 

The Cheryl/Toni stuff was surprisingly decent. I did actually enjoy the Cannibalism story that they sold to Cheryl's aunt. 

I mean...FP isn't wrong about how he COULD be the Sheriff and a gang leader, since Hiram got elected mayor and is a mob boss. Why not?!

The Judghead/Betty stuff was great solely for the fact that Betty foiled all of Brett's plans to scare Jughead by simply knocking him out. This side of Betty is what I like. 

[Snookums]

Efficient Betty is best Betty.

[lorbeer]

14 hours ago, Snookums said:

And of course, Archie being Archie and deciding to deep fry a turkey inside. 

There's no thanksigiving in my country and no deep fry turkey (actually turkey would be a very rare dish here), so could anyone tell me in afew words why we shouldn't depp fry a turkey INSIDE? I've looked up a few recipices from google but there was no mention about inside/outside thing. As I see it, it could easily blown up outside as much as inside. I'll be gratefull for some clarification. I really like these curtural tidbits 😉

13 hours ago, thuganomics85 said:

Oh,Mary!  For you, this episode was a crazy one, but for everyone else?  Getting held at gunpoint by the family of the drug dealer you are currently feuding with, doesn't quite

This just reminds me of that high schooler from Friends who thaught that gunpoint was some place (like a town e.g.) and couldn't understand why people would go there if they knew it was that much dangrous. 😉

The episode was a good one but a little bit dragged. There were moments when I jus wanted to fast foward...

[tennisgurl]

That was a fun Riverdale, my favorite kind of Riverdale, and any episode with a lot of Fred mentions will always hit me in the gut. That ending, complete with picture, was very touching, and I do appreciate that, for all of the camp and ridiculousness, they do deal with his passing with nothing but sincerity. I miss Fred/Luke so much! 

Of course your average Riverdale Thanksgiving would involve a turf war between a gang and a teenager running a boxing gym, his mom pulling on a gun on them to stop them from holding the guests at Thanksgiving at gun point, and the day being saved by either/or bad cooking skills or intervention from his deceased father. Welcome to Riverdale indeed! Mary pulling that gun was awesome, I, like Veronica, am obsessed! I did wonder why Jughead and Betty didnt want to spend time with Archie and go to Thanksgiving with him or their families, considering he is their best friend and its his first Thanksgiving without his beloved father. Its nice that they came to the dedication though. 

It was fun seeing some of the grown ups hanging out and getting drunk together. Of course Hiram becomes mayor just instantly, even without everyone knowing that he is a mob boss, of course! In Riverdale, thats just expected at this point, so of course FP can be a gang leader and a sheriff! In any other town, that would be insane and horribly corrupt, but in Riverdale, its pretty par for the course. 

Yeah, dont you pull on Ax on Betty's boyfriend, she will cut a bitch! I dont buy that story about an affair for a second, this is all obviously an evil plan involving a secret society of evil, no one else runs around wearing creepy bunny masks! Poor Jughead, this isnt even the first time that a masked man with a weapon has threatened him. 

That the Blossoms have a creepy Donner Party family story is so not shocking, nor is it shocking that Cheryl would make a Titus Andronicus dinner for her relatives to get rid of them, even if it was faked. Cheryl really is embracing her families Gothic creepy legacy these days, as if Toni, who is apparently just accenting that this is what you deal with when you date a Blossom. Its all creepy dolls, dead bodies, and cannibalism. Also not shocking? That she has a cousin actually named Cousin Festor. 

Edited November 21, 2019 by tennisgurl

[AnimeMania]

Did Cheryl just admit to Aunt Cricket that she killed Uncle Bedford? Can you claim self defense for a murder if you then proceed to hide the murder?

Does Veronica not lock Le Bonne Nuit?

Did somebody forget that they have a family member named Jellybean?

Are Jughead and Bret roommates, where did Bret sleep while Jughead and Betty were getting freaky in the room. Is Betty old enough to have a sextape or will the person who made it be arrested for kiddie porn?

[Snookums]

Quote

There's no thanksigiving in my country and no deep fry turkey (actually turkey would be a very rare dish here), so could anyone tell me in afew words why we shouldn't depp fry a turkey INSIDE?

Deep frying an entire, whole raw turkey is pretty recent, and also pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. You immerse the bird in boiling oil and cook it at very high pressures (thus, the pressure cooker) until the skin is crispy. The advantages are very juicy, tasty bird that cooks a lot faster than roasting in an oven. The disadvantage is basically a bomb going off filled with boiling oil and flying shrapnel if you don't watch the gauge and allow the steam to build up (as is what happened here.)

If the thing blows up outside, the chances are far lower of multiple scaldings, metal embedded in flesh, and fires being started because you've got a lot more space to run. Inside you're going to take everybody to the hospital and call the fire department.

1 minute ago, Snookums said:

[HeatLifer]

2 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I did wonder why Jughead and Betty didnt want to spend time with Archie and go to Thanksgiving with him or their families, considering he is their best friend and its his first Thanksgiving without his beloved father

I’m not even being facetious but are Jughead and Archie going to interact at some point before the former supposedly goes missing and/or dies? Does the show understand that for the audience to care we have to actually see these relationships? And what a shit time for these characters to go without scenes in a season where Archie is dealing with this significant loss, like why.

[SourK]

LMFAO "If Hiram can be the mayor and a kingpin, why can't I be the sheriff and a Serpent?"

Also LMFAO at Alice having dinner with FP, Hermione, and Hiram and "joking" that they're all terrible parents while they smile awkwardly. That's some fan service, right there.

I can't deal with the Cheryl plotline, though. I'm okay with her being bananas and playing a super macabre prank on someone, but I'd like it to be a prank that's actually smart. All she did was give her relatives everything they need to blow up her life.

Also not loving the thing where a teenage girl accuses her teacher of statutory rape and the message is that we shouldn't believe her.

[HeatLifer]

55 minutes ago, SourK said:

Also not loving the thing where a teenage girl accuses her teacher of statutory rape and the message is that we shouldn't believe her.

I also didn’t like how Jug had the line “Poor Donna” and it was Betty who questioned her. The juxtaposition of that didn’t sit well with me, almost like even the writers knew it would make Jug look bad, so they gave the heavy to Betty.

[AnimeMania]

5 hours ago, SourK said:

Also LMFAO at Alice having dinner with FP, Hermione, and Hiram and "joking" that they're all terrible parents while they smile awkwardly. That's some fan service, right there.

And Fred Andrews was a great parent, but he didn't have much to work with, so... same result?

[rmontro]

What the heck is wrong with these people at Stonewall Prep?  Putting on a mask and threatening someone with an axe is their idea of Thanksgiving fun?  Who does that?  And this is after they locked Jughead in a coffin.  And this is not including whatever is going on underneath.

Betty and Jughead alone at the school for the holidays sounded cozy.  Too bad the other students showed up to ruin it.

Where did that turkey come from at the end?  Did they scrape it off the ceiling?

Cheryl's story was too silly to discuss.

[tennisgurl]

Stonewall Prep is just trying to compete with Riverdale High as most deranged place to attempt to get an education. 

[Maximum Taco]

14 hours ago, SourK said:

I can't deal with the Cheryl plotline, though. I'm okay with her being bananas and playing a super macabre prank on someone, but I'd like it to be a prank that's actually smart. All she did was give her relatives everything they need to blow up her life.

And she's not even being halfway believable. 

I mean she wants Aunt Cricket to believe that she BY HERSELF (maybe with Toni's help?) dismembered a man who probably weighs close to 200 lbs and then cooked him into 2-5 pies? 

That's absolutely moronic. It would take like 400 single serving pies to use up all the meat, and what did you do with the bones Cheryl? And what did you do with the offal? And what did you do with the blood? You can't just drop an entire animal (or human I guess) into a meat grinder and just churn it up. A child might fall for this, but any adult person would call her out on her absolutely ridiculous lunacy. 

Edited November 22, 2019 by Maximum Taco

[HeatLifer]

22 hours ago, HeatLifer said:

I’m not even being facetious but are Jughead and Archie going to interact at some point before the former supposedly goes missing and/or dies?

“Archie Andrews, you are under arrest for the murder of Jughead Jones.”

Archie: I hate to say it, I hope I don't sound ridiculous. I don’t  know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street, I wouldn't know a thing. Sorry to this man.

[rmontro]

11 hours ago, Maximum Taco said:

I mean she wants Aunt Cricket to believe that she BY HERSELF (maybe with Toni's help?) dismembered a man who probably weighs close to 200 lbs and then cooked him into 2-5 pies? 

Well, maybe Nana Rose helped  🙂

[methodwriter85]

On 11/22/2019 at 1:42 PM, tennisgurl said:

Stonewall Prep is just trying to compete with Riverdale High as most deranged place to attempt to get an education. 

I don't know, I still think that honor goes to Hudson University. 😉

Good thing that I'm positive that if a season 5 happens, this show is going to pull a Pretty Little Liars and fast-forward 5 years because I cannot imagine what college is going to look like on this show. (Again though, I'm about 80 percent positive this show is going to skip those years and return to these characters at 23-ish.)

Quote

I can't deal with the Cheryl plotline, though. I'm okay with her being bananas and playing a super macabre prank on someone, but I'd like it to be a prank that's actually smart. All she did was give her relatives everything they need to blow up her life.

I again made the mistake of checking out Twitter's #Choni hashtag, and found people woo-hooing about Cheryl and Toni exchanging the "I love you"s stuff. *Sign* I need to let this go, I really do, but my god I can't stand this storyline or the #Choni ship in general. Can we please just give them a wedding and a happily ever after to a new place and never have see them again?

Quote

Damn, Azura Skye is now rough-looking enough to play the mother of an adult actor. She was born the same year as the actor who played her son.

They should have made him a brother. It's ridiculous, although anything goes in this show.

Overall, this was a fun episode, though.

[UNOSEZ]

https://tvline.com/2019/11/30/riverdale-cheryl-toni-season-4-break-up-choni/#comment-list-wrapper

I haven't liked "Choni" from the get go.. Toni went from opinionated and independent,  caring about her serpents and the south side... To the almost mute arm candy to a spoiled brat.. I think I watched an entire episode where Toni was in like 6 scenes and all she did was hold cheryl's arm and smile... And kiss her... Cheryl took over her serpent stuff.. Toni stopped taking pictures.. It was always problematic for me.. As was the show never really addressing the fact that Cheryl was obsessed with and stalking the other main black female on this show... And framed the one black guy for it... And all of that was before this season with the doll and the body and the murder.. Why are ppl out here defending a relationship where one party has given up her whole personality.. Rarely interacts with anyone besides nana rose... Acts as either arm candy or emotional support animal... And has now committed murder... At least varchie and bughead are relatively equal relationships... This one not so much.. I don't call Cheryl mentally Ill... To me she's just selfish.. And that's why Toni needs to leave

[Chaos Theory]

You might as well say why hadn’t felt with Betty for basically raping a boy during her black wig day?  The show throws a storyline against the wall and sometimes it sticks.   Being fixated on Cheryl and that stupid stalking storyline is going to annoy you five seasons down the line when she is Mayor and no one brings it up because she is suddenly the good guy alternative.

As for Choni.  LGBTQ relationships are still on a different system then heterosexual ones.   You can go two or three episodes without having both it either of them in the episode and yes they are disconnected to the story which is problematic.   My issue is not with them.  My issue has always been with the writing of them.   Toni is the one who loves Cheryl without reservation and Cheryl will do anything for Toni.   If o my the show would actually write a storyline that connects them to the main plot.  

[Dobian]

Hiram is the worst villain.  He has no friends, no allies really, everyone in town hates him, and he keeps screwing over his family so they hate him too.  How can he function?  If he was on The Sopranos,, he would have been dead in the first season and they'd never figure out the killer from the 278 suspects.

Hermione has become the worst waste of space on the show, just a useless puppet wife to Hiram.  The new daughter is just tacked-on and dumb, a made-up character shoehorned in just to create instant drama.  And Hermione just accepts her existence without a word.  Really lazy writing.

So the current major plots, ranked from worst to first:

Archie's Youth Center

Snore.  The whole Dodger business was ridiculous.  An over-the-hill gangbanger with like five guys in his whole crew is able to terrorize the whole Riverdale business community while bringing the street kids into the fold with free pizza.  Talk about a high-end criminal empire.  F.P. could have broken the whole thing up by himself if he wanted.  Now Dodger's out of the way, so they bring in the Ma Barker trailer park gang to take his place..  And they get run off by Claire from The Breakfast Club.

Cheryl's Insane Asylum

This plot has been completely absurd, yet I still guiltily enjoy it because the writers have been green-lighted to go totally wild and make everything batshit crazy.  I think I laugh the most every scene where Toni is sitting there with a look on her face that says, "how soon can I get out of this nuthouse and away from my psycho gf?"

Criminal Minds

What's Betty's half-brother up to with Chic?  It will be fun watching Betty sleuth this one out.

Dead Poet's Society

Another mystery at the preppy boarding school, which looks to result in Jughead's demise or fake demise later in the season, plus the inevitable appearance from grandpa, who will stake his claim as the creator of The Hardy Boys or whatever the hell it is.  I like how Betty is putting her serial killer mastermind brain to use in solving this one.  I also like the new school setting, a great place for Clue-like shenanigans.

Yeah I'm still watching this dumb show, it's hard to resist.

Edited December 5, 2019 by Dobian