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Truth, Social Justice, and (fill in the blank): Race, Ethnicity, Gender & Sexuality Discussion

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A place to respectfully discuss real-life issues facing groups within our society.  

(*Discussion of these issues as they relate to television shows should be directed to the Everything Else TV topics: herehere and here.)

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Hello,

Below are three topics in relation to the Nielsen TV Ratings.  I hope anyone interested in the Nielsen TV Ratings will read the information below.  Thank you.

Pay by Race: Racial Discrimination in the Nielsen TV Ratings

The Nielsen Company (also known as the Nielsen TV Ratings) is an industry leader in measuring how many people watch traditional TV. They have thousands of Nielsen TV Families who have boxes installed which monitor what they watch. They measure demographic data such as race of household, age of household and number of household members. However, the way that they recruit homes can be argued as racist.

For their local people meter markets such as Seattle, New York City, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Baltimore, Washington D.C., Atlanta, and many others, the race or ethnicity of the “primary person who rents or owns” determines the household compensation over 2 years. If the household is Black or African American, they start out with a $150 check and a check every 6 months to total up to $525.00 over 2 years for alternate homes. If the home is Asian, the home would qualify for up to $900.00. However, if the home is Native American or Samoan, the home would only qualify for up to $425.00 over 2 years on their gift chart.

While, I am only giving examples with the alternate homes, the basic homes have slightly more compensation, but it also depends on race as well. The same criteria applies. Just basing it on race and the gift chart alone, for basics, it can be the difference between $800.00 for Black/African American homes over 2 years compared to $950.00 for Asian homes to just $700.00 for Native American or Samoan homes.

The difference between alternates and basics is the basic is the first home Nielsen selected for that recruitment cycle. If the first home does not sign up, the alternate is a home nearby in the area that signs up. Usually alternates start from the house to the left of the basic home, and then it goes down a list. The alternate homes are not really random in a purely random sense as it is predictable where alternate 1 is. Then alternate 2 is usually the home to the left of alternate 1 and so forth.

For both alternates and basics, the ethnicity with the highest compensation are Hispanic homes that speak more Spanish than English at home. These homes qualify for up to $2000.00+. However, if the home is Hispanic and speaks more English than Spanish at home, or only English at home, their pay drops to only $605.00 over 2 years on the gift chart for basics, and only $395.00 over 2 years for alternates. The next race-based tier starts at $700.00 over 2 years for basics, and $425 over 2 years for alternates, but one criteria is the home has to be non-Hispanic.

The frequency of checks is another thing Nielsen uses to differentiate by race. Hispanic Homes that speak more Spanish than English at home, and Asian homes get paid a monthly amount while Black/African American, Hispanic homes that speak mostly English or only English at home, Native American, Native Hawaiian, and Samoan homes get paid a check every 6 months. This disparity of pay is concerning.

If you are approached by a Nielsen TV Ratings salesman or saleswoman, and if you get to see your gift chart, you will notice codes at the top right corner of the page. Here is the breakdown for alternate gift charts grouped from lowest to highest: 100A, 50A 150A, 150AM, 250AM and 350AM. For basics they run: 150B, 100B, 200B, 200BM, 300BM and 400BM. The initial number before the A or the B means their initial check is that much. If a gift chart ends in A or B, their checks come initially and every 6 months. However, if a gift chart ends in BM or AM, their gift charts come monthly after the initial check.

The reason why 100A is lower than 50A for the gift chart is because the checks at 6 month intervals are lower, and if you add everything up, it equals a lower amount over 2 years. This would also apply for 150B and 100B with 100B being a higher compensation than 150B for the gift charts. The 100A and 150B is for Hispanic homes that speak more English than Spanish at home, or only English at home. These homes are valued the least in the Nielsen TV Ratings local people meter gift chart compensation system. While just analyzing the gift charts, all races and ethnicites will get paid more than Hispanic homes that are classified as “English Dominant.” English Dominant homes are Hispanic homes that speaks more English than Spanish at home, or only English at home.

The company also uses a thing called a “DCI,” and it stands for “discretionary cash incentive.” DCI was at one time given in cash, but is now given on a prepaid Visa Gift Card. DCI is also race-based. For example, if a Native American, Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander or Samoan home with 2 adults and no children (aged 35 years of age or older) sign up, they would not qualify for any DCI. Other races and ethnicities qualify for DCI in the sum of $50 per person, or $100 per person as a one time sign-up incentive given during install to adult(s) 18 or over. I have heard stories of homes get up to $700 in DCI just for signing up because of the home’s race. These are extra incentives on top of the gift charts and are optional incentives that “Membership Representatives” may offer to get a home to sign up.

Not only does Nielsen practice racial discrimination by paying Nielsen Families by race, they also practice age discrimination by discouraging 55+ or senior citizen families from being recruited in several markets. If a home is 55+, they could be put on a many month “demo hold” meaning they can not be installed right away due to their age as homes of their demographic are not needed.

Alternate homes also have a thing called “TAR.” A home has to match a TAR criteria to be eligible to sign up. Some weeks, I have seen “NON-ASIAN” or “NON-BLACK” or “NON-HISPANIC” pop up on TAR. This means to match that TAR, the home has to be NOT that race. If it shows up as “NON-ASIAN,” then it means find a home to sign up that is not Asian.

Due to the TAR criteria for eligible homes, I have even heard that there was a member of the Seattle market who would falsify her interview data just to get a home into the system as the home would be TAR ineligible otherwise. Because she was falsifying demographic data, that meant the demographic data sent to the Nielsen server was purposely inaccurate.

Race-based compensation may be a little complicated at first. However, Nielsen Membership Representatives who need help on determining household compensation can use a Nielsen created “incentive tool” on their iPhone while recruiting. After entering in some information like household’s race and age, it will come back with which gift chart to use, and how much DCI (if any) can be offered. One might wonder, how many other companies (besides Nielsen) have a race-based compensation calculator?

Bottom line, Nielsen has been operating for a long time, and one would hope that in today’s society, the Nielsen Company will stop paying Nielsen Families on the basis of race. Discriminatory practices based on race and/or age is plain WRONG!

Nielsen TV Ratings: How Management Discourage Streaming Only Homes

Nielsen TV Ratings markets have a contractual minimum of homes they promise the TV stations. TV stations are Nielsen’s clients, and Nielsen needs to make their clients happy.

A “BBO” home stands for broadband only. Unfortunately, BBO homes do not count toward the number of homes promised to the clients in the local people meter market. Only traditional (cable, satellite or antenna) homes count. One can assume if a home has traditional TV, then that increases the chances of clients getting better ratings than compared to a streaming only home that only watches Netflix and does not have the local channels.

If a market manager has to have 800 homes in the sample, and there are homes that leave the sample every month, and their home count is below 800, then the market is in trouble. If alternate homes enter the sample and are BBO, then that does not add to the local market’s home count. This is why you sometimes hear of management discourage Membership Representatives from signing up any more BBO homes.

From management telling Membership Representative explicitly not to sign up BBO homes, to putting a 3 month demo hold on BBO installations, these practices are meant to suppress adding new BBO homes to the sample.

If a streaming only home is signed, and Nielsen management puts a 3 month hold on the home from being installed, there is a bigger chance the home changes its mind during the long wait. However, if the home that was signed decided to get cable or satellite during their long hold, they would be allowed to be installed sooner as they would actually add to the sample.

For membership representatives who do not want homes backing out, and the pressure from management to not sign up BBO alternates, often times homes that are BBO and want to sign up, don’t have the opportunity to sign up as the recruiter will just find a cable or satellite home to sign up instead.

And what about the payroll aspect of this? If management puts in policies that contribute to back-outs, and Membership Representatives bonus on the number of homes signed, wouldn’t this cut into Membership Representatives’ bonuses and pay? Think about all the work done to recruit these homes!

How to Stop Nielsen TV Ratings from Ringing Your Doorbell Again!

If your home is the first home selected for the recruitment cycle (basic), you will be approached by a membership representative and they will come knocking or ringing.

Even if you do not respond to their letter, they will be at your door. No matter, if you live in a gated community, they may follow the next car in, or try to convince the guard to let them in.

What if the gatekeeper is heavily trained and won’t let anyone in? Have you heard of Lexus Nexus? If the membership representative can’t access your community or building, the manager may look up your address, and hopefully find your phone number through a paid service.

If you do not want to be a Nielsen home for 2 years, and tell them you are not interested, that might not stop them. The manager may send the membership representative back, or send a different membership representative to come make an attempt.

God forbid, what if one of your household members is terminally ill, you would think the Nielsen TV ratings people would leave your household alone and stop coming back? Unfortunately, they will still come back about every 6 months.

What if you tell them you are moving soon? Will that stop them from coming back? No, they will come back to check if you moved. If a new household moved in by their next visit, they will try to sign up the new household who moved into your house. So if you are not moving, telling them you are moving wouldn’t work. Even if they decide to move on and sign an alternate, they will come back about every 6 months to check if a new household moved in, or if you will sign up.

Even after multiple refusals, and you think you are now rid of Nielsen, in about 6 month’s time, don’t be surprised if a Nielsen salesperson comes knocking again. They will keep rechecking your home about every 6 months, until your home is no longer selected. Your home (if you were the basic selected), will be selected for 2 years!

What if you tell them that you have no TVs? Well, they put you as down as “zero TV” and come checking about every 6 months to ask if you have a TV now.

How do you get them to stop coming? If your home is occupationally disqualified, then they will just pick a new home as the basic.

1) A home can be occupationally disqualified if one of the household members work for a TV station in a role that is dependent on the TV ratings (eg. producer, director, camera person, etc.).

2) Any household member that uses Nielsen data for their job is occupationally disqualified.

So, I guess if you get a job in the TV industry, or buy their data, they will stop coming. You will just need to tell them that, and they will take your word for it. Of course, you shouldn’t lie to the nice Nielsen people, but if you happen to work in media or buy their data, you are safe from being pestered if you just let them know your job title and company you work for.

But what about the regular people who do not work in the TV industry or buy Nielsen data? You can call the 800 number on one of the door hanger(s) they leave you, and ask to speak to a manager. Politely, tell the manager to put your home on the “DO NOT CONTACT” list. Ask for the manager’s name, and tell the person you are writing it down and will keep a record of it in case Nielsen disturbs your household again. Then keep your fingers crossed, and hopefully the Nielsen TV Ratings won’t come back again.

Edited by RatingsTruth
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This is an interesting topic about whether using images/animated GIFs of black celebrities in your posts as shortcuts to convey reactions is "digital blackface".  Oprah Winfrey reactions to Meghan Markle are the current example. 

I haven't thought this one fully through yet, on if this is on target or not... 

 

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/oprah-winfrey-memes-dubbed-digital-blackface-after-epic-meghan-and-harry-interview/news-story/8029c9c4b1e4da6890e94c797eb312c6

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So I was quite shocked to find out that more is going on in the UK this week than outrage over Meghan Markle. 

Has anyone seen all of this stuff about a woman named Sarah Everard?  A murder by a policeman that's taken on George Floyd levels of outrage in the UK, with huge public rallies, but with the angle of violence against women instead of violence against minorities. 

It's a bit hard to parse, because you could make the parallel between the two situations or deny it, in different ways. Women have their own set of baggage they always carry around just for existing (fear of rape, basically). But in other circumstances, women (well, white women) have certain presumptive power (if they didn't, the "Karen" phenomenon wouldn't exist). 

One recent parallel to pop up though is police breaking up a peaceful demonstration seemingly because it was a demonstration against them. 

Oh, there IS still a link to those pesky Royals.  Before the public rally was broken up, there was a visit by Kate Middleton.  Prominently there maskless, so those cameras could all get shots of her there. While everyone else seemed to have masks, and COVID-19 risk was the supposed reason it was broken up. 

Gee, I guess the Royals needed the good publicity. Except it was pretty transparent an attempt, when she arrives and poses maskless for a legion of photographers. 

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Let's not belittle or misunderstand what is happening regarding Sarah Everard. She was kidnapped and murdered by a London police officer. The London police want this to go away. They tried to stop the vigil from happening and ordered people away. Kate didn't go to the vigil and use it as a photo op. She did go maskless, as many there were, and she didn't stop and pose, although at one point someone ran up to her and scared the crap out of her. Prior to her marriage to William, there are hundreds of photos of Kate walking around London, sometimes at night. And the point of all of this is that women should be safe walking home. 

I live in constant rage that I can't walk to my car alone at night without being afraid, that I can't answer my door after dark for fear of someone forcing their way into my home, that I'm told I need to attend self-defense classes and that will help.

And you know, if another woman is enraged by this and wants to, against the wishes of the police, the local politicians and possibly her family, come to the vigil, all I have is respect.

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I live in constant rage that I can't walk to my car alone at night without being afraid, that I can't answer my door after dark for fear of someone forcing their way into my home, that I'm told I need to attend self-defense classes and that will help.

I don't even answer my door in broad daylight. If I don't know you I am NOT opening my door. Period.

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One racial issue I don't believe is getting as much attention as it needs is how in the United States covid denialism in certain media and political outlets skyrocketed after there was the initial reports that communities of color were disproportionately affected, and the first big outbreaks were in more racially diverse urban centers. As soon as that news came out I feel like covid denialism ran off the charts, and it continues to this day even though there's really no corner of the U.S. that the virus hasn't rampaged. 

This is a question that really needs hard answers: why do we so relentlessly "other" people who get sick? In the 1980s and 90s it was the othering of gay people who got HIV/AIDS. In 2020/21 people thought covid was only something that happened in big cities, in blue states, until it happened to them.

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Straight people already hated gay people, long before HiV/AIDS showed up. I think if the illness had been ravaging the, for example, wealthy white heterosexual population, the reaction to it would have been much different.

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The last two days or so there's been a shitstorm over the media representative, a Sheriff's department Captain in Atlanta, using bizarre language in the presser discussing the suspect arrested for the message parlor murders. 

An honest look at what he actually said makes the situation both better AND worse at the same time. 

As was widely reported, the cop said the suspect was having a "bad day". 

A little less consistently reported was the full quote, which is actually problematic for slightly different reasons than the abbreviated quote implies. 

"They got that impression, he did understand the gravity and was fed up and at the end of his rope and yesterday was a really bad day for him and this is what he did." 

The short media version has been that the cop was excusing what the suspect did, and awkwardly deflecting from racial issues. This has been bolstered by it later being uncovered that the officer sold COVID-19 themed Tshirts with obvious anti-Asian nods. 

On reflection, despite the officer's Tshirt sales, I do think he was conveying what the suspect stated rather than his own language. 

But that actually makes it WORSE, not better. 

It's even more suspect when the law enforcement representative is representing the point of view of the perpetrator.  

It makes me wonder if these guys get any media training at ALL. 

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4 hours ago, Kromm said:

As was widely reported, the cop said the suspect was having a "bad day". 

A little less consistently reported was the full quote, which is actually problematic for slightly different reasons than the abbreviated quote implies. 

"They got that impression, he did understand the gravity and was fed up and at the end of his rope and yesterday was a really bad day for him and this is what he did." 

I usually hate abbreviated quotes but I don’t see that much difference. 

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I don't have a problem with the sheriff expressing empathy for the shooter. I think that effective cops have to show empathy for criminals. It's how they become better interrogators. It also helps to view everyone as a human being.

However, I doubt this sheriff would have all this empathy for every suspect. If he can maintain this level of empathy for everyone he arrests that's great. But, as I said, I doubt he can.

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2 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

I don't have a problem with the sheriff expressing empathy for the shooter. I think that effective cops have to show empathy for criminals. It's how they become better interrogators. It also helps to view everyone as a human being.

However, I doubt this sheriff would have all this empathy for every suspect. If he can maintain this level of empathy for everyone he arrests that's great. But, as I said, I doubt he can.

Had it been an Asian or Asian-American man who had shot up white women of any profession and openly said that he  despised them for their ethnicity, I seriously doubt that particular sheriff would have openly or even covertly remotely empathized with said shooter. 

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On 3/19/2021 at 8:30 PM, Lady Whistleup said:

I don't have a problem with the sheriff expressing empathy for the shooter. I think that effective cops have to show empathy for criminals. It's how they become better interrogators. It also helps to view everyone as a human being.

However, I doubt this sheriff would have all this empathy for every suspect. If he can maintain this level of empathy for everyone he arrests that's great. But, as I said, I doubt he can.

Right...it bothers me that empathy is reserved for white males. Lindy West has a great essay where she talks about the judge in the Ted Bundy case talking from the bench about Bundy’s wasted potential, while totally ignoring the wasted potential of all of the female victims.

I want my police officers to feel for those accused of crimes, because then they will be less likely to shoot or use force when it’s not necessary. I just want that to be universally felt for all suspects, not just white men.

Edited by BlackberryJam
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On 3/19/2021 at 11:05 PM, Blergh said:

Had it been an Asian or Asian-American man who had shot up white women of any profession and openly said that he  despised them for their ethnicity, I seriously doubt that particular sheriff would have openly or even covertly remotely empathized with said shooter. 

 

14 hours ago, BlackberryJam said:

Right...it bothers me that empathy is reserved for white males. Lindy West has a great essay where she talks about the judge in the Ted Bundy case talking from the bench about Bundy’s wasted potential, while totally ignoring the wasted potential of all of the female victims.

I want my police officers to feel for those accused of crimes, because then they will be less likely to shoot or use force when it’s not necessary. I just want that to be universally felt for all suspects, not just white men.

All this. IDGAF about the shooter. He killed innocent women. Who gives a shit if he had “a bad day”?!

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I am always horrified by those rape cases in which a high school or college female student becomes intoxicated, one or more males decide it’s perfectly okay to rape her because she’s drunk, and the judge and rapist’s family bitch and moan about how a conviction will destroy the guy’s life. Sometimes the community at large and even the victim’s family will sympathize with the rapist, provided he’s a white middle or upper class young male. They act as if getting drunk somehow explicitly grants permission to any random guy to assault the female. 
Fuck that shit. How much sympathy would there be for the rapist if the victim were a white male athlete and the rapist were a gay male? Would we be hearing the same pleas to not destroy the rapist’s life with a conviction, when everyone knows getting drunk at a party means you’re just asking for something bad to happen? I think not. IMO, what it comes down to is this: The lives of white middle and upper class straight males are still considered to be much more valuable than the lives of any females or any poor, gay, and/or nonwhite male. 

Edited by BookWoman56
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On 3/19/2021 at 2:53 PM, Kromm said:

It makes me wonder if these guys get any media training at ALL. 

Media training should be not to talk to the media ever.

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On 3/19/2021 at 8:05 PM, Blergh said:

Had it been an Asian or Asian-American man who had shot up white women of any profession and openly said that he  despised them for their ethnicity, I seriously doubt that particular sheriff would have openly or even covertly remotely empathized with said shooter. 

One of the dead women's husband was handcufffed for four hours and they wouldn't even tell him if she was ok or not.

(CNN)Mario González and his wife Delaina Yaun ventured to Youngs Asian Massage near Acworth, Georgia, last week for a relaxing couples activity.

Yaun had just gotten off from work, and the two were happy about getting to unwind with a massage. As they received treatments in separate rooms, González heard the gunfire ring out.

"About an hour in, almost at the end, I heard the shots," he told the Spanish-language newspaper Mundo Hispánico."I didn't see anything. Only, I started to think it was in the room where my wife was."

When law enforcement arrived at the scene, González told Mundo Hispánico, he was put in the back of a patrol vehicle and detained by authorities. He tried to get information about what had happened to his wife, but said his questions initially went unanswered.

It would be hours before he would learn that Yaun, 33, was one of four people who died at the spa in Cherokee County that day. Eight people were killed in a series of attacks on Atlanta-area Asian spas on March 16.

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5 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

I am always horrified by those rape cases in which a high school or college female student becomes intoxicated, one or more males decide it’s perfectly okay to rape her because she’s drunk, and the judge and rapist’s family bitch and moan about how a conviction will destroy the guy’s life. Sometimes the community at large and even the victim’s family will sympathize with the rapist, provided he’s a white middle or upper class young male. They act as if getting drunk somehow explicitly grants permission to any random guy to assault the female. 
Fuck that shit. How much sympathy would there be for the rapist if the victim were a white male athlete and the rapist were a gay male? Would we be hearing the same pleas to not destroy the rapist’s life with a conviction, when everyone knows getting drunk at a party means you’re just asking for something bad to happen? I think not. IMO, what it comes down to is this: The lives of white middle and upper class straight males are still considered to be much more valuable than the lives of any females or any poor, gay, and/or nonwhite male. 

Brock Turner. Six months. SIX MONTHS. For rape.

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39 minutes ago, BlackberryJam said:

Brock Turner. Six months. SIX MONTHS. For rape.

Um, that's convicted rapist Brock Turner. We must not forget.

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Racism is my #1 pet peeve, and I get into constant debates over it. There are people in my life, work relationships and such, who are hard to avoid, or else I'd have nothing to do with them. I try to keep only kind, antiracist people in my life who care about social justice. 

I have black relatives, family and friends who are part of the LGBT community, and many people I love of different colors, nationalities, and religions. A lot of them experience some really messed up bigotry. A family friend was even murdered by a white supremacist. I'm not even 100% white myself, but people look at me and see a white girl. It's disgusting how much racism really flies around me when people think it's just white people in the room. When you've had loved ones experience terrible racism, it's a huge slap in the face when it's dismissed and these same folks act like they're victims because they can't be openly bigoted. A lot of these people will say it's not just whites who are racist. No shit! Who's saying it's just whites who are racist? Vast majority of people would never say that. I certainly never have, but they say this every single time. It doesn't make it okay for anyone to be a racist, so please stop trying to make excuses. And then let's not be hypocritical when you say, well so and so is black and said this, so how can it be racist? Did you forget "it's not just white people who are racist?" FFS. 

Also you guys, each time you hear "I'm tired of being called a racist," try to avoid these people at all costs. I'm not a PC person. I'm not a "cancel culture" person. I don't expect perfection of people. I know most people at least have some family members who are far from woke. But no truly good, non-racist person is constantly told they're racist. And if these same people say, well no actually people don't call me a racist IRL, but those BLM jerseys and blah blah on the news. Usually these are the same people who complain about snowflakes, so now you're offended by someone who's never met you wearing a jersey? And you're going to stop watching these games? Okay snowflake!

Edited by RealHousewife
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On 3/14/2021 at 12:24 PM, Kromm said:

This is an interesting topic about whether using images/animated GIFs of black celebrities in your posts as shortcuts to convey reactions is "digital blackface".  Oprah Winfrey reactions to Meghan Markle are the current example. 

I haven't thought this one fully through yet, on if this is on target or not... 

 

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/oprah-winfrey-memes-dubbed-digital-blackface-after-epic-meghan-and-harry-interview/news-story/8029c9c4b1e4da6890e94c797eb312c6

Thanks for posting this. I need to digest it a little. I like to occasionally use gifs, and one of my favorites is Obama standing at the miked podium, doing the “seriously” gesture. 
 

My cousin identifies as Latina, and does do a light brown thumbs up.  Unless I interpreted it wrong, the article said that using the shades is only wrong if you’re not a POC. 

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15 minutes ago, AryasMum said:

Thanks for posting this. I need to digest it a little. I like to occasionally use gifs, and one of my favorites is Obama standing at the miked podium, doing the “seriously” gesture. 
 

My cousin identifies as Latina, and does do a light brown thumbs up.  Unless I interpreted it wrong, the article said that using the shades is only wrong if you’re not a POC. 

I don't have any particular feelings about that but I will never forgive Oprah for unleashing Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz on the world.

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46 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I don't have any particular feelings about that but I will never forgive Oprah for unleashing Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz on the world.

It's not a great batting average. They're both dangerous, unethical quacks. 

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I’m not even sure what’s PC anymore.  I feel I live in some sort of limbo, especially when it comes to observing food traditions, with SOME old culture “aunties” (and some “uncles,” but usually aunties) AS WELL AS some uber-woke/ally types both criticizing me for bastardizing/appropriating traditions or see me as someone who “hates” her ancestral culture. Do they not realize how bad it can be to one’s mental well-being?

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14 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’m not even sure what’s PC anymore.  I feel I live in some sort of limbo, especially when it comes to observing food traditions, with SOME old culture “aunties” (and some “uncles,” but usually aunties) AS WELL AS some uber-woke/ally types both criticizing me for bastardizing/appropriating traditions or see me as someone who “hates” her ancestral culture. Do they not realize how bad it can be to one’s mental well-being?

Screw 'em. You eat what you like.

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34 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’m not even sure what’s PC anymore.  I feel I live in some sort of limbo, especially when it comes to observing food traditions, with SOME old culture “aunties” (and some “uncles,” but usually aunties) AS WELL AS some uber-woke/ally types both criticizing me for bastardizing/appropriating traditions or see me as someone who “hates” her ancestral culture. Do they not realize how bad it can be to one’s mental well-being?

I had a PR girlfriend with major food limitations due to GI issues and her aunts wouldn't cook anything she could eat at her family gatherings almost out of spite, like anyone would make that up.  We'd eat before going but it really hurt her feelings. 

Telling you what I told her... there's always an asshole out there.  Sorry it's happening to you. 

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3 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I had a PR girlfriend with major food limitations due to GI issues and her aunts wouldn't cook anything she could eat at her family gatherings almost out of spite, like anyone would make that up.  We'd eat before going but it really hurt her feelings. 

Telling you what I told her... there's always an asshole out there.  Sorry it's happening to you. 

A lot of old cultures (especially ones not from Europe) don’t believe in food sensitivities.  Many believe it’s a “white people thing” or that one is just very high maintenance.  I had trouble getting through to my mom (72 years old), who is English speaking and very well-educated, that foods like chickpeas, tofu and lentils are proper proteins. I even gave the example of Buddhists, and she was like “but those people are used to it.”  WTF??!     

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There is way too much emphasis on what people eat, don't eat, can't eat, etc. I've always been a person who gets full really easily. I'm not trying to insult you, your cooking or your culture. I'm just full, dammit! Leave me alone.

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29 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

There is way too much emphasis on what people eat, don't eat, can't eat, etc. I've always been a person who gets full really easily. I'm not trying to insult you, your cooking or your culture. I'm just full, dammit! Leave me alone.

Another thing I hate is this:  when you ask someone what’s in something and their answer is “good stuff.”  Again, WTF?  Are you being ignorant, believing that I’m a “dumb Canadian” who’d be turned off at certain ingredients?  Maybe I’m asking due to food sensitivities.  Or maybe my toddler has texture/food adversions. 

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People get very combative about the food other people eat. 
My sons fiancée has celiac. She has said that in some ways it has made her life much easier when the gluten-free life became popular because she had far more choice but in other ways she worries that people especially in restaurants think she’s just being trendy and aren’t taking her seriously. 
It was a steep learning curve for me but I made sure to ask questions and show her any prepackaged things I was planning on using. Her mother actually thanked me for being so careful as many people weren’t. If you care enough to want to feed other people I don’t understand why you don’t want them to feel comfortable about what they’re eating.

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6 minutes ago, Shelbie said:

My sons fiancée has celiac. She has said that in some ways it has made her life much easier when the gluten-free life became popular because she had far more choice but in other ways she worries that people especially in restaurants think she’s just being trendy and aren’t taking her seriously. 

My younger sister had celiac - as she used to say "before going gluten free got trendy" and she had the same problem your future DIL seems to have.  On the one hand way more choices out there now if you have celiac, on the other hand  far too many judgemental people out there assuming you are just jumping on the gluten free bandwagon and so they feel free to give you a hard time about your food choices.  The worst was in restaurants where you had to trust that the server would convey your choice to the kitchen staff and they would prepare the food the way you NEED it prepared not just in a "would be nice" kind of way but rather in a "don't want to be in pain and end up in the hospital" kind of way!

Edited by WinnieWinkle
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3 hours ago, PRgal said:

I’m not even sure what’s PC anymore.  I feel I live in some sort of limbo, especially when it comes to observing food traditions, with SOME old culture “aunties” (and some “uncles,” but usually aunties) AS WELL AS some uber-woke/ally types both criticizing me for bastardizing/appropriating traditions or see me as someone who “hates” her ancestral culture. Do they not realize how bad it can be to one’s mental well-being?

I'm not sure I consider food debates as political correctness though.  Unless this is some other use of PC. 

With many people (maybe not your example) it's religious, yes?  But older generations hating on you for avoiding traditional foods is a thing too, I guess. 

Self appointed guardians of culture don't seem particularly PC either. They seem more like traditionalists, not "woke". I'm assuming these are the types who don't want traditional recipes recreated or used in fusion dishes. I guess I fail to see why those people are being woke rather than obstructionist and old fashioned.  I'm probably misunderstanding the scenario then....

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30 minutes ago, Kromm said:

I'm not sure I consider food debates as political correctness though.  Unless this is some other use of PC. 

With many people (maybe not your example) it's religious, yes?  But older generations hating on you for avoiding traditional foods is a thing too, I guess. 

Self appointed guardians of culture don't seem particularly PC either. They seem more like traditionalists, not "woke". I'm assuming these are the types who don't want traditional recipes recreated or used in fusion dishes. I guess I fail to see why those people are being woke rather than obstructionist and old fashioned.  I'm probably misunderstanding the scenario then....

They seem to be okay with religious observances, but not okay for foods which are recreated/made fusion (even if some of the food from their culture is, technically, fusion (e.g. Hong Kong milk tea and just about anything served at a cha chaan teng (Hong Kong comfort food diner).  

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11 minutes ago, possibilities said:

I don't want to click the link (had enough bad news today). Can you give a brief description? I understand if not, but thought I'd ask.

A woman in New York was filmed calling a bagel shop worker the N word after being denied service for refusing to wear a mask. Then she denied it saying she didn’t call him the slur but was referring to his behavior, as though that makes a lick of sense or somehow would have been better.

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13 minutes ago, Dani said:

A woman in New York was filmed calling a bagel shop worker the N word after being denied service for refusing to wear a mask. Then she denied it saying she didn’t call him the slur but was referring to his behavior, as though that makes a lick of sense or somehow would have been better.

Her social media makes it clear she goes around without a mask calling people racial slurs and intentionally picking fights. She also sends her kids to school without letting them get random covid testing.

Here she is at Whole Foods:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CIGqUIlnN3_/

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Yeah she is probably loving that it's getting attention.  Now that she's famous for it, she can monetize it especially since she's so unapologetic. 

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