Dewey Decimate

I thought that Tetherball obstacle was a dud. A momentum killer, boring to watch, and didn't seem to exhibit any particular ninja-skills. At the end of each fail, they really needed the Price is Right sad trombone. Other than that, not a bad ep, except for the atrocious FFing through successful runs. Quite a few classics made it through. After RJ Roman's speedy run, I was wishing they'd let any extra time to accrue cell-phone-plan-like to his Stage 2 attempt!

Did I hear Seattle rainbow brite's mom totally call her out on her alleged superpower? Didn't she say during the intro that the daughter has never actually been tested for said condition because she's afraid she won't actually have it? Yeah, I'm gonna take her something-to-add-to-my-quirky-resume claim with a grain of salt. Especially when she claims to need a separate craft room for those janky-ass 2nd-grade-level rainbow clam shells. 🧐

Holy freaking shitcakes - this ep might actually rank up there with Marcellas' and Lawon's epic fails (assuming there's no crazy last-minute reversal tomorrow night). There's something so satisfying about villains arrogantly setting their own trap... BEAUTIFUL. And boy howdy did Kyle luck out without having to make a choice between his posse and his pussy. The strategy of having an expendable in each bestie group completely makes objectively logical sense "for the good of the group", but 1) not necessarily good for Kyle personally and 2) there's no guarantee Indy would even choose to join Michael and Britney. Would it be too much to ask for another amazing Thursday episode? I pray to you, Otev!

I'm just glad we're talking about Jasmine's brain juice and not her other bodily juices. (IF I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YOU ALL DO, BWAHAHAHAAA!)

Wow, I think it's more than past time that Jasmine is taken out back and Old Yeller'ed. I sure as shit won't miss her. The floor of the living room is truly hork-worthy. I think I'd feel uncomfortable walking in that area with shoes ON. Watching the vicious gaslighting of Taylor almost made me hyperventilate in sympathy. That poor woman. I hope Daniel and Nicole (and anyone else responsible for that fucking shit) become absolute pariahs in the outside world. Despicable. The only upside I see is that I have to think Taylor is a lock for any viewer-voting award.

Ngl, I unabashedly love this show. It's a lot easier not giving an eff if any of the supposed couples end up together! I see it more as a guessing game that the audience can play along with. (I sadly did not predict Danny as an FBoy, but literally said to myself, "geez, that looks like a modeling photo shoot" when they showed Benedict's "wedding" pics.) Nikki Glaser is hilarious, genuine, and just goofy/lewd enough. I like the camaraderie among the girls and both the cattiness and brodowns among the boys. (Though any guy who excuses something as "locker room talk" can gtfo.) The ladies' fashion is fun to look at (ah, to be young again), and the scenery seems more beautiful and a little more high class than the other cheesy dating shows I've watched. (Lookin' at you, Islands of the Love and Temptation variety.) I crack up at the weird interstitials (*bird squawks* GIVE US BREAD. WE JUST WANT BREAD!) and visits to Limbro and the Nice Guy Villa (Mike D. is a standout). It seems everyone in their 20s/30s is already an IG "influencer" or wants to be one, so anyone's claims of a future relationship are served with a big ol' grain of sea salt; I just enjoy the ride.

As soon as they featured the intro clips for "the final hearing", I had fingers crossed for those triumphant opening bars of Europe, and they did not disappoint!! The Late Show does an amazing job of mimicking the original versions of songs for parodies. Now I'm hoping for a little "See You In September" in anticipation of the next Jan 6th hearing.

This version definitely feels sleazier than the flagship show. I'm far from prudish (absolutely love the companion series of FBoy Island), but there's something I find icky about watching a contestant talk about finding "love" while exposing the pale skin under her recently-waxed pubic area in a "swimsuit" that looks like an elastic band for exercising. But that's not enough to keep me from watching. Now, the loss of Matt Hoffman might be. Nothing against the new announcer, but he in no way has the same wit and panache of Matt, who made this show. Sarah Hyland is okay as a cute, bubbly host, but she lacks the gravitas of Arielle. (And I can't believe I'm using the word "gravitas" when discussing Love Island.)

Please, please, please stop with the annoying added squeak sound for Jasmine's lame wheelie cart. It both grates on the ears and reminds me of her presence. "Clam-holes"? Really? Something I never needed to see: a nip-slip from Chicago's premier karaoke dj. Geez, why does this cast still seem somehow vaguely sub-par? Sigh.

Even though it's not from S1, I kinda want the OG handshake to involve six fingers.

I really hope that I'm not "over" my BB fandom (BB OG 4 LYFE, est. S1, baby), but something about this season just feels lacking. Boring houseguests this year? Too interchangeable? Then seeing the DRs about Taylor's lie-that-was-not-a-lie, watching HGs unironically speak as though Paloma did not just state WITH WITNESSES that she's worried about a strong mens' alliance... wow, we're really in a post-truth world. I mean, it's one thing in politics, but a whole other level in my summer escape. If any of the parties piling on Taylor did a gleeful Dr. Will-style DR about how they're sucking everyone into their web of lies, I'm down with that, but gawd, they actually sound like they believe their own Jonestown kool-aid. Daniel is not only a spineless little hypocrite ("I feel so bad about nominating you, Taylor, except for the part in which I sanctimoniously chastise you on national t.v.") but also looks like he smells stinky. In the final montage of the episode I realized that, ironically, Pooch's mouth resembles an inflamed cat anus. Michael or Nicole ftw. (The former because he reminds me of the adorable Andy Samberg and worships Janelle, and the latter because she seems to have a shred of intelligence and intuition.)

I'm sorry, but did Enzo actually criticize the TAR guy for talking about his cats? Fuck off, MEOW-MEOW.

Wise words. I think the amateur belly dancing woman got the memo in advance. I'm so bummed to fashion-shame someone who I'm guessing is close-ish to my age, but good gravy, why did she have to dress like a extra from Kate & Allie?

Boy, Jimmi Simpson really corners the market on playing Twisted McEvilPants guys, huh? I cannot look at him without getting McPoyle flashbacks, which makes his characters even more entertaining. I enjoy how even though this show has quiet, beautiful moments, there's always some sort of real action/suspense in each episode. Wonder why so few people seem to be watching?

I was a child of the 80s, and therefore was touched by WWF (my brother and I had plenty of the big-sized action figures, though I cherished even more my collection of trading cards now located somewhere up in the attic), so every time they cut away to the stats list for each famous wrestler, it feels utterly delightful. (Did Dewey ever encounter Jimmy Superfly Snuka? He was one of my faves!) I would honestly like to see Dwayne Johnson run in 2024. These days, why not? Just please, people, don't throw away your vote on Chrome!

That was one of the best episodes in a long time, though thoroughly depressing in its accuracy. I'll have to rewatch a few times to catch all the excellent lyrics.

I'm not even a horse-y girl, but kind of want Tina's t-shirt shout out to the Color Me Badd classic "I Wanna Sex You Up".

The lack of comments a full day after the latest episode speaks so perfectly to its quality. *tumbleweeds*

So sad, may she rest in peace. My favorite part of Trevor's book is the story of him doing something... very scatalogically naughty and his grandma thinking is was supernatural in nature. Bless her.

Ten grand for Jason Momoa duct-taped to a cot in a sex dungeon/shipping container sounds like a steal to me, though.

I don't understand - isn't Gillian balling Tommy every night she can? Why is she so stunned for the camera that Edgar is getting some too? Does Ash have an odd circular scar between her eyebrows, or it some sort of implant? I keep noticing it in certain lights each week but in this episode was super noticeable. I kinda hope she's been mostly acting during this whole "journey", because otherwise she seems like a mess and I'd feel somewhat bad for her. Luke and Iris are so freaking boring. Lascelles' (and Trace's) behavior is kookoo crazy and the seemingly lovely Ashley would be insane to stay with him. This whole season is somehow sad, bizarre, and boring at the same time.

I actually enjoyed that video quite a bit. Boy Ru behind the camera and the queens' rap/song parts were well done, and damnit, the tune is catchy and I can dance to it! Lady Camden fascinates me: in the talking heads he seems like the most innocent little ginger pixie, but then morphs into a mesmerizing sex magnet in drag. I can't decide if I want to be her, or do her, or both...

When the agent took the Denver HHer to the modern, shiny condo in Five Points, all I thought was "wow, that area has been super-gentrified since Jimmy and Timmy went looking for the Crips!" Yes, my main familiarity with Denver neighborhoods is from South Park.

At first I rolled my eyes at an episode concentrating on shitty teenagers, but as it progressed, it blossomed into horrifying and hilarious recognition. I'm not even a parent, but do tutor middle/high school-age kids, and slowly started to recognize the same petulance, crankiness, and lashing out. I loved the multi-generational take-down of the teens! And Cartman being elated to provide post-game hot dogs. One of my favorite eps in a while.

The headless android flipping the bird was everything. But then his master Hunter decides to make a reproductive decision for a woman against her clearly stated wishes - cool. Cool, cool, cool. Hope you can start lactating, bub, now that you're a single father. As fucking creepy as it looked, I actually felt bad for the monster-mom and wished she had been left alive to mother the rape-baby. Reminded me of those inter-species adoptions when a mother loses her infant or a mother dies and some other animal takes over the nurturing duties. But then, I often sympathize with the monsters in a lot of movies (I swear, when the first chest-burster in Alien appears, I think, "aww, cutie!"); I'm a weirdo. I definitely felt bad for #7 as it bloodied its head against the metal gate and was relieved Mother couldn't kill it. Creatures + androids > humans.