Bastet

Well, sure, and some existed at the time of the movie. The original submission for "that wouldn't work today" was of movie characters dying from things that wouldn't now be fatal, with Shelby and Emma cited as examples - neither of which work, because both a cancer patient and a brittle diabetic going through pregnancy/childbirth against medical advice could pretty much as easily end in death today under the same set of circumstances. Shelby having motherhood options that, as avoiding pregnancy/childbirth, wouldn't add to her already-increased risk of death is a separate issue from the topic; Shelby (and "Shelby") had alternative options at the time, and would have a few more now.

I think that's a significant part of why it bothers me so much. She, like any other girl, is bombarded with all the societal messages about boys being the most important thing in a teenage girl's world, and, as a transgender girl, feels a simultaneous joyous freedom in and pressure to embrace "girly" pursuits. Yet, despite the usual crap being compounded by an extra issue, she has the fortitude to say, "I don't even know who I'm attracted to. And I have a lot going on in my life. There's time."

The first episode was filled to the brim with the things that charm the pants off me about this show, despite it being about such a serious issue. Maggie saying Charlotte is Emma’s daughter was wonderful, but it was her expressing her frustrated, nearly-desperate desire to do something to help that most got to me. Mark and Maggie together were very touching, too. And then the three of them at Emma’s bed post-op. This is truly one of my favorite shows of my entire TV-watching life, and it is simply wrong that it’s not more popular (or, you know, properly handled by its own network). I even like Charlotte, and I can’t stand kids! Yes – Laurie Metcalf! I love her. And I love her character, too -- loving the binder (without even knowing Maggie made a late night drive to Rhode Island to raid a Paper Source), liking to listen to Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benatar, or Fleetwood Mac during surgery, saying Emma will dance at Charlotte’s wedding – if Charlotte wants to get married, because we’re not going to force that on her – everything about her, really. I hope this means Jessica had this great a team. Picking the implant gave me a chuckle; my parents have tales from selecting my mom’s first prosthesis. (Yes, of course, my dad played with all of them to see which felt the most like the surviving boob.) Mark Febreeze-ing the bag and filling it with 3/$1 tube socks, a mix tape and a Walkman (from Evidence), and the sweatshirt she always steals was adorable. And I like when she explains why she doesn’t want him there and that he immediately accepts that (and then sits outside the hospital and sends his cop buddies in). This is very quickly becoming not just one of the few romantic relationships on TV I’ve ever liked (among those that didn’t exist from the beginning of the show; I have liked several established couples), but my favorite. The cops provided the much-needed moments of full-out humor. I like the calls back to the striptease, but it was all great. Re. the second episode, why is Emma having chemo after undergoing a double mastectomy with clear margins, when lumpectomy with radiation was one of her original options? Did her lymph nodes turn up positive for cancer? Maybe I - so excited in the last episode about Laurie Metcalf, missed something about her diagnosis, or maybe things have just changed since my mom went through this; for her, with clear nodes, it was either lumpectomy with radiation or mastectomy and five years of Tamoxifen; she went with the latter - instantly, like Emma, saying, "Take it off!" (and was cancer free for almost 15 years before it metastasized, but she’s several years into remission from that). I love Birdbones! And that she included healthy options for the owl craft night in case Emma came down. The way this show has presented Emma and Tina, given the Mark connection, has been so refreshing. Not quite as much with Cookie suddenly thinking Maggie wants Bruce back, but okay. I liked learning Cookie is a survivor of triple-negative breast cancer and just who Emma needed to talk to, but it wasn’t a damn Hallmark movie. “When we’re 80, we’re going to have the perkiest tits around.” And Emma being pissed off that this is happening to her, not ready yet to just fully embrace, “Hell yes, life!” Same with Emma curling up with her mom, and their hug at the door; it’s sweet, but in character. I wish Bruce’s mom had been at Craft Night. These people are all more amusing on pot than I am, but I enjoyed it: “I was following Jefferson Airplane around the country, and that white rabbit, he don’t let no one ride for free.” “Guys, this owl is real. I painted it. It’s reality.” “Canceroles.”

Yes, thank you! That was a pretty glaring omission from my list; I had the distinct sense there was a big one I was forgetting, but it just wasn't coming to me.

Ha! And, yeah, that about sums it up. He's truly lovely to watch.

Real-life "Shelby" (I can't remember what Robert Harling's sister's real name was) died; the movie is adapted from Harling's play, which is about his mother and her friends' lives and was written in the wake of his sister's death (her jackass husband - who's only hinted at being a jackass in the film - remarried mere months after her death, and the kid was calling his stepmom "Mommy" and Harling wanted his sister remembered). She did just what movie Shelby did -- ignored a lifetime of medical advice (she was a brittle diabetic since adolescence) not to get pregnant, as it would be way too hard on her body, and did it anyway, and, yep, it was too hard on her body. Her mom gave a kidney to try to save her, but she died (differently than in the movie; she went under anesthesia to have a dialysis shunt put in and her heart stopped). Unlike movie Shelby, real-life Shelby got very little time to even be a mom, because she spent big chunks of the time between the son's birth and her death in hospital and he wasn't allowed to visit.

I never did, so I was always disappointed when I was at a friend's house and that's what we were given. (I politely ate it, of course. But inside, I was wishing for some wheat bread. Or rye. Or sourdough. Just not that white bread!)

I've been dealing with that for 10+ years longer than you have, so, believe me, I feel you! I'm grateful that my parents were never among the people pushing me to go man hunting (Mom is still not through being bummed that she's not getting any grandkids - well, beyond those with fur and four legs - but she's never tried to push me into a life I didn't want), so I wish home was also a safe refuge for Jazz on that front, like it is for her on so many others. Like I said, I'm sympathetic to the difficulty in untangling and identifying the various factors behind her dating issues in order to know which ones to embrace and which ones to encourage her to overcome. So nudging her about dating is not always inappropriate. But there's too much of it! And not enough validation that if she truly is just not interested right now, there is nothing wrong with that.

How many times did I vote to eliminate Annabeth, and now she's finally gone in one of the few rounds I didn't vote for her. Heh. Danny Concannon Will Bailey Ainsley Hayes

Then you're smack dab in the last group of people I listed as those one should make sure to be on time for -- even if the other person would have no issue waiting ten minutes for you under the exact same circumstances, they know you do take issue with it, period, so they should be on time.

I've been to New Orleans several times, so I've given them a lot of recommendations, but it would be great to hear more from a local! You can PM me if you'd like, or post here - I think others would enjoy hearing recommendations for if/when they're in New Orleans. (And it is not possible to make a Bloody Mary too spicy for them [or me], heh; in fact, I don't even remember taking particular note of the spice level at Brennan's.)

It also crosses the line into legally prohibited, but it happens. Far more than most would suspect. (And more difficult to prove than many would think.) HR is supposed to serve as a line of defense for both parties - employee and employer - to educate everyone as to the law and mediate how to resolve disputes within that framework (what is prohibited and thus must be changed, what is a conflict that violates no law yet impedes a good working relationship, how to repair a situation or transfer someone - in a non-retaliatory way - when it's just an untenable situation for the best of everyone, etc.). But too many HR reps are ignorant of employment law, up the ass of the employer (whether because a sycophant or fearful), incapable of/unwilling to study and recognize the ways in which ingrained biases affect troubleshooting, etc. And then you wind up in a situation where an employee must decide whether to leverage their inferior resources to fulfill their burden of proof against a deeper-pocketed employer.

I've had issues with the dating thing from jump, too. Because, to the extent Jazz is interested in but feels hesitant about dating strictly by virtue of being a transgender girl, it's good to encourage her to explore opportunities she can reasonably deem to be safe (and this is SUCH an issue beyond that for cisgender girls). By her comments, she hasn't fully determined whether she's gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and there's nothing wrong with that, obviously, and dating is a good way of honing in on that. But what about any hesitance that is just an inherent part of her personality, that would exist just the same if she was cisgender? It must be hard to identify the various reasons and what role they all play, so I'm sympathetic to the parents trying to navigate when to encourage and when to step back. But not everyone has the same interest in dating, or starts feeling it at the same age, whatever their gender identity or sexual orientation. So no one, especially no girl (given all the sexist shit emphasizing them as/reducing them to romantic partners), should be pushed to date if they are simply not ready to. It's one of the many thorny issues illuminated by this show, and I'd like to see a little more nuance and thoughtfulness from the adults involved.

I don't automatically care if someone is late, even habitually so. I care about what they're late to, what their attitude is when I've suffered a consequence beyond harmlessly sitting around waiting for 15-20 minutes, or if they're crazy late (for no legitimate, unexpected reason). If they're late to things where punctuality truly matters (either inherently, or because I've expressly said I need them to be on time), or if they're not genuinely apologetic when their lateness affects me in a meaningful way -- that's when I'm pissed off, because it's disrespectful. My general philosophy: If your job doesn't need to start and end at a specific time, come in when you want so long as you get it done right and on deadline. If being late means someone can't end their shift until you show up to start yours, something will go uncovered until you get there, other people's part of group work will be delayed, a deadline will be missed, etc., show up at a designated start time. If you're meeting someone, or people, for a social gathering and they're capable of and perfectly content to just hang out for a little while - get a seat, order drinks, read a book (or play with their phone), people watch, whatever - it's not an issue if you're a little late. If it's a gathering where they'll have to hold the start of something for you, or even if you just know the friend you're meeting is bothered by lateness, doesn't like being left to sit someplace alone, etc., take the steps necessary to ensure you're on the dot. So it's not lateness per se that determines my reaction, it's the consequences of lateness under the particular circumstances of each situation - both in terms of my own behavior and how I'll react to others'.

Yes. I met her backstage before one of those concerts, and she had one of the calmest energies I've ever seen - especially in a pre-show environment!

Well, it makes sense to me that two transgender girls would be more likely to speak with each other about vaginas than any two cisgender girls, who can take having one for granted and thus don't give it anywhere near as much thought. Most teenage girls don't spend much time talking about kidneys, either, but if two who need kidney transplants were friends, the chances of kidneys being a part of their conversations increase dramatically.

Reel Injun (about how Native Americans have been portrayed in film) is fantastic, as is the Indie Sex series about the presentation of sex in film. Others that spring to mind: -Beyond Clueless (about teen movies) -Miss Representation (not strictly about pop culture, as it covers the under-representation of women in positions of power in general, but the way women and girls are portrayed in the media is a big part of that) -Moguls & Moviestars (history of "classic" Hollywood) -And the Oscar Goes To ... (history of the Academy Awards; very glossy, but still worth a look) -Thou Shalt Not (about pre-Code films) -The Celluloid Closet (about Hollywood's depiction of LGBT people) -Good Hair (Chris Rock exploring the various issues surrounding black women's hair) -The Wrecking Crew (about the studio musicians behind some of the '60s biggest acts) What Happened, Miss Simone? and Janis: Little Girl Blue are two good biographical documentaries currently on Netflix. Life Itself (Roger Ebert) and I'll Be Me (Glen Campbell) are two other semi-recent ones that are interesting and moving. Madonna's Truth or Dare is definitely worth a look if you haven't already seen it. There are quite a few pop culture documentaries about fans and collectors. King of Kong generated a lot of talk (good and bad), but I haven't seen it. I did see one about a guy who collects VHS tapes, and one about 8-track tape collectors (So Wrong They're Right).

But they're presented as if they do have it. They do the "Did I take/pack my pills?" panic, and then relief washes over their face as they presumably realize they have the IUD and don't have to worry about taking a pill every day at the right time. Which makes them look rather stupid, that they can't even remember what form of birth control they use. But, benefit of the doubt, maybe they've used birth control pills for years and years and just recently switched, so they think about the pill as a matter of habit and then remember they now have an IUD. Because I have to give them the benefit of the doubt, though, I don't think it was a good concept to have it be the same women in each scenario having pill panics one moment and IUD contentment the next; better to contrast one woman thinking about her pills with another woman who doesn't have to because she has an IUD.

Boy howdy. In fact, most of the time when I see/hear "vagina," the speaker/poster is actually talking about the vulva.

Danny Concannon Will Bailey Oliver Babish

I absolutely adore Heart and Souls (partly because the romantic relationship is a secondary storyline, so, no, not a typical romantic comedy).

It's good. The Tammy Faye documentary (The Eyes of Tammy Faye) is really good, too. I second the recommendations for Spellbound and Wordplay. The 30 for 30 series offers a lot of non-depressing options. You don't have to be a sports fan for some (many?), although obviously being one adds another layer of enjoyment; they're ultimately about people as people, not just as athletes. There's one that's a non-fiction version of Invictus. One about Renee Richards, the transgender tennis player. Also one about the Right to Play NGO. Unmatched is basically Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova interviewing each other, and their friendship is wonderful to bask in. The Marion Jones documentary (directed by John Singleton) is obviously full of low moments, but I find it ultimately uplifting. Same with the one about Michael Jordan's life at the time of his public announcement of his HIV status. The Farmer's Wife (a multi-part episode of Frontline) is fantastic. It's certainly not all sunshine and roses - no one's life is, let alone the lives of people trying to keep a family farm alive - but it's not depressing. Similarly, the Up series and the Doctor's Diaries series. There's a short Smithsonian Channel documentary, Shuttle Discovery's Last Mission, that I love not just because I've been interested in the space program my whole life, but for seeing all these people so emotionally attached to their jobs.

My kind of place. I have never met a bean I didn't hate.

Neither of those characters died from a disease that now has a cure. Shelby (Steel Magnolias) died due to complications of diabetes. Emma (Terms of Endearment) died of cancer.

Ha - it suddenly dawned on me that, while Abbey was eliminated insanely early, it was probably with very few votes; at that early stage of the game, with a shit ton of characters, people's votes are spread out so much among those numerous characters that just a couple of people happening to vote for the same one can trigger elimination. So I went back and yep -- Abbey went out because of a whopping two votes. Several other characters also received two votes that round, but weighted voting meant Abbey was the loser. It feels good to no longer be so perplexed. (Yes, I know it's weird to have given this some thought, but I have never been on a WW forum, at a water cooler, in a group conversation at a party, whatever, where Abbey was a generally disliked character - in fact, she's always quite liked by most in any of those groups - so it was, indeed, perplexing me to think most posters here consider her one of their least-favorite characters of the entire series. Then I had my "Aha!" moment.) Carry on.