Sofa Sloth

All I see is baby yoda. Yeah I’m going to hell...

Only a Brown would share a lazy home coffee picture like this (featuring their infected & chewed cuticle, on a zombie thumb, that appears ready to fall off from lack of circulation from a bulbous tacky ring), and be pleased with their contribution to social media. I just want to know, who looks at this while scrolling Instagram and thinks: ‘ooohhh wow great shot! ❤️ Glad that was shared! Ring looks awesome on you!’ etc etc. The mind boggles as these people obviously walk among us. Mediocre people like Mariah don’t need encouragement to think their content is interesting, as it inflates her ego to the point that this is what is considered worthwhile to post 🤯 Uppercut yourselves immediately whoever you are and save the praise for pictures and content that earn it.

Robyn’s also only ever been in the coverted power positions of either the favored last wife and the legal marriage wife within polygamy (and now she holds both titles). The only real way to see ‘how suited for polygamy’ she really is, is if a hotter, younger, 5th sister wife, with kids also needing adoption was trotted in (ideally while Robyn was pregnant). That said, Robyn’s manipulative and not afraid of stealth tactics to clamber her way up the ladder, so actually Kodouch wouldn’t be wrong if she was the one he considered ‘well-suited to polygamy‘ (though not in the way he thinks). The only other contender for who would be suited for polygamy would obviously be Janelle, due to her ability to share her resources, live in one house and her thinking of the family as a whole. She brought the damn Lehi house on her own, if that doesn’t prove it, I don’t know what does. Obviously Christine has jealousy issues and really prefers a monogamist lifestyle despite her original intro spiel, she was just brain-washed in childhood and knows no different. Meri is definitely not cut out for this lifestyle. She is a narcissist with no concept of conserving funds, compromise or sharing her wealth creation for the good of the greater family. We’ve seen this time again, with the over-indulgent rentals, wet bar, french doors, More-riah’s expensive school that the family had to chip in for (despite Meri taking an equal share of the budget for her one child). We learned last season that she doesn’t contribute any of her earnings from pyramid schemes or b&b to the family pot, whereas the others all do with their side hustles. Interesting as she only worked part time initially in the early days (so presumably was happy to take family funds off Janelle and Kody, who worked full-time for her quarter share then and live in a house paid for by Janelle) but no has no desire to contribute anything now for the younger kids. She’s confirmed time and time again the younger kids are not her responsibility in any way either, financially or in the form of child care. She also probably only offered the divorce (if that’s even what really happened), as she already thought she had a foot out the door with an potential online lover, (unsure of the time line) but in any case I doubt she made the ‘sacrifice’ out of any obligation to the kids, she was just defeated by Robyn’s superior relationship with Kody and she knew she’d better bow out gracefully.

That’s good to hear she doesn’t enforce the bow policy. I don’t really follow Jessa (and each to their own here), but it’s nice to see a fundy parent who allows their baby girl to just be an innocent baby, without having to ram it’s enforced gender down it’s throat in the form of hair accessories. Fine if baby tolerates it well and that’s your prerogative, but personally it shits me to see parents do it for nothing but their own aesthetic satisfaction, if it annoys and potentially endangers baby.

Shame Jessa didn’t take the hospital bandage off Ivy’s head before the photo opportunity. I get that big ol’ Christmas bows are non-negotiable fundy baby uniform, (as god forbid the baby displease the lord by being unfeminine or of non-descript gender) but this one makes Ivy look like she has a head injury and does zilch for the outfit anyway.

Aw you’re very kind, I’m definitely not a writer, I’m in the aesthetic medicine industry, which is as about as far opposed from writing as it gets rilly! I just enjoy a bit of character analysis, satire and humour and for my professional career that gets reigned right in, so playing armchair psychologist and mocking these reality TV goons is my little sanity outlet 😉

Lulahellno knocked it out of the gridiron field with this one! Introducing the ‘Olive’. Perfect for any occasion when you need to look like an American Footballer. Intimidate a sister wife with your defensive style; why put your metaphorical walls up for defense, when you, yourself, can be the literal wall? Wear the shoulder-enhancing ‘Olive’ and nothing will stop you bulldozing through life! #Linebacker #Lulahellno #LivingMyPyramidScheme #BecauseIScam #DefenseDiva #FootballFashionRetailer #GridironGal #FieldFrump #LoveFilteringWhoIAm #TheseAreTheOnlyBallsInMyLife #ShouldersOfSteel #FlagstaffFootballGear

To: RainbowMariahLBrownisgay@gmail.com Subject: Request for the thing you asked for that you definitely don’t deserve Dear Mariah, Thank you for your email expressing your interest in a position within our company. We regret to inform you, that you have been unsuccessful in your application. Regrettably, it is our policy not to offer opportunities within our company, to those with non-existent work ethic; who also lack personal hygiene and are unable to grasp the concept of basic grammar. We also prefer to hire women (note correct spelling - void of a random ‘x’) who will prioritise work above brunching, who wear a bra in the workplace and who are still happy to continue working whilst menstruating. We would like to formally request you don’t advise your father you were declined this opportunity, as he’ll likely claim you were persecuted and discriminated against, for being a polygamist’s daughter and we don’t wish to be bad-mouthed on television, by a spiral-permed ass clown. We would like to clarify here, you are not unsuccessful in your application, due to either your family’s lifestyle or your sexual orientation, we just believe you to be a narcissistic, entitled and pretentious twat, with whom we have no desire to be affiliated with. Like ever. Regards, The unfortunate recipient of your entitled bullshit request email

Meri once revealed through tears on a talking head couch scene in the very first season when Robyn joined the family ‘I don’t want to do this, the only thing keeping me in this family is my commitment level and my daughter’. That’s quite telling to me, commitment is one thing (and could be faith-based commitment, or commitment to the television show, or commitment to her marriage with Kody personally - all three? who knows...) but using Mariah as a reason is probably the real reason she’s still there. Mariah is her only much-loved only child and basically all Meri had for support while she growing up. Mariah was furious with Meri when she attempted to plan her escape with Sam and told her not too, when it was revealed he was a catfish, it did extreme irreparable damage to her and Mariah’s once close relationship. Mariah held her in contempt for daring to consider leaving and rocking her polygamy family. Meri would never dare contemplate leaving now I think, as her relationship to Mariah means way too much to her and she is held hostage by Mariah’s desire to have her big family together. The reality is if Meri left, she’d be completely isolated from Mariah who would probably blame her and gravitate to her dad’s big family that she grew up with, on holidays and events leaving Meri alone and devastated. I don’t think Meri would take that risk again, since she dipped her toe in the water with the Sam thing and it backfired so badly with Mariah.

Seriously? What about reading a book, catching up on emails, phoning a friend, taking a walk around ? Personally I can think of about a million better ways to occupy my time waiting for my car to be repaired, then to have someone take pictures of me, wearing a very ordinary outfit, in front of some tires. But then again, I maintain my car properly so it doesn’t break down mid-road trip and I’m not a narcissistic scammer with a pyramid scheme to keep going, so I suppose it makes sense. 🙄

She’s a freelance graphic designer, though I’m not sure how much actual work she gets through that, as she’s also hawking Lularoe to fans as part of Meri’s downline. Mariah’s listed on it all too, obviously just to pull in fans with the name, as it seems to be just Audrey doing most of the work.

Oh my god woman! You are good! Are you a detective in real life? 😆

That Instagram account hasn’t been updated since 2013 and is an Australian website address. I’m going to hazard a guess it doesn’t belong to Meri’s Blair Michael... Not that I’d be surprised if it was his though, he seems have a finger in many pies to get exposure. He fancies himself as a ‘travel blogger’ in some hashtags. I’m going to guess he happened upon Disneyland (coincidence? maybe not) and overheard ‘reality star’ Meri Brown (who was prone to a good catfishin’) was there so he put himself in her path to meet and charm her for exposure. There’s pictures of them both that day on both their instagrams with the caption ‘new friends etc’ and they didn’t like any of each other’s pictures prior to then which makes me think they just met then. From that day on she’s liked and commented on every one of his posts.

I had wondered if maybe the Mormon church fat Tony belonged to asked him to keep off air and all association with the Browns to a bare minimum or he’d be excommunicated? I know Mykelti’s aim was to continue going to church with him until they came around to letting her join. Maybe Tony and Mykelti feel the need to respect his church’s wishes as that’s their preference of religion. That makes more sense to me than his job having an issue with it.

Has he though? 😉 I think he’s just morphed into his mother with his fathers eyes. The Janelle smile is uncanny. I’ll absolutely give you Garrison though, I went and looked at his Instagram and he’s definitely a contender for most handsome Brown boy, without the old buzz cut and acne of old.

Also he could easy drop that heavy bottle on his bare feet and potentially break a toe, but hey, let’s take a video first because haha cute content for mommy’s Instagram trumps safety and common sense! 🙄

Yeah agree! I think Gabe will improve with age, Logan went through an awkward gawky angular teen phase too and now he’s an attractive guy. Hunter and Garrison have that thick neck, beady Kody eyes and an aura of beaten up Rugby player to them. Sorry again, that is unkind I know! Agree Michelle is naturally pretty and they should definitely reproduce, but I’ve heard they don’t plan too? Maybe Logan had enough fathering in his youth and Michelle is a career girl, they’re still young however, so who knows that may change.

Ok this is an evil game, but I can’t resist for the older kids. Ysabel, Aurora and at a stretch Aspyn, are all very facially attractive. The ones who are the least attractive are all the ‘M’ girls who mess with any redeeming features they may have and sabotage any hope of natural beauty, with their terrible box dye jobs and horrendously overdrawn eyebrows. The boys are all unfortunate in the looks department really, with the exception of maybe Logan. I do feel really nasty passing judgement on them physically, as for the majority of them genetics can’t be helped, looks don’t define you and beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway.

I totally agree with you. I don’t respect Robyn for much but she’s a fierce protector of her kids and that’s really what a mother should be. I’m thinking she copped a lot of feedback in the early days about how desperate and camera thirsty her kids appeared and she coached them to stand back a bit and didn’t allow public social media, which is actually the most healthy thing she could do for them; gives them a chance to go grow up with more anonymity and keeps them safer from predators or nasty comments. Christine should really reign in her kids social media, Truly shouldn’t even have access to an account at all at her age, let alone have it public, just pure stupid.

Surely there’s no room on her walls for more? 😉 Maybe he was responsible for the redo of the Lizzie’s rooms? She tagged him a logo Audrey did of the place, like he had some vested interest in it. My suspicions are still on him contacting her though and Joan’s mention of his friends with polygamy fascination is an interesting clue 🤔

That is my thoughts exactly Joan! Interesting isn’t it? I’ve thought the same all along - what’s in it for this guy and what’s his angle? She’s ridiculously unpleasant and self-absorbed as a person and I’ve often wondered why the unconditional displays of love and friendship from him all the time? I’ve assumed him to be a fame whore and attention seeker who is trying to claw his way into the spotlight or draw attention to his own business from the moment I saw this Instagram love. He has pictures of him fan-girling over Lady Gaga somewhere too, so that combined with the desperate attempts to befriend Cher thing has cemented my thoughts he’s using Meri. No true friend of most famous people would gush over the friendship or they’d drop you like a hot potato for not being genuine. I’ve made acquaintances with a few semi-famous/famous people over the years, and they definitely value discretion and privacy and highly question the intentions and sincerity of people who befriend them due to their fame - rightly so. Meri is so desperate for affection and people who adore her, she doesn’t see through the veneer of people and their true intentions. I believe she clearly doesn’t question or investigate people’s motives objectively, because she’s such a narcissist she arrogantly assumes everyone is genuine in their love for her. (hence the obvious cat-fishing). That and perhaps she’s still not aware that being a public figure makes her a target for the hangers-on and she needs to put those walls up better for those people. I’ll dig more later today if I have time let us know if you find out any more 😊

That poor child is a 3 year old female Kody. Damn those Brown genes are strong! Comparing Meri on the last two seasons of the show to pre-Catfishing, I can see she definitely has had ongoing facework done in the form of fillers and muscle relaxants, (possibly even melonoplasty), but her ongoing use of facetune on her pictures is ridiculous. It is clearly isn’t who she is on TV. If she was truly happy with who she is, as @TurtlePower pointed out above, she wouldn’t feel the need to alter her appearance in every picture to that degree.

I stand corrected then. Disappointed in Cher, but I guess I’ll have to accept it 😂

I dunno, not that it matters but i’m doubtful. I’m going detective on this - He’s not a costume designer, he’s just DIY’ed these jacket at home for fun. He’s obviously an Uber fan and in captions on his pictures on Instagram it says he was counting down for his front row seats for one concert - in none of his pictures from the concert is she wearing his Jacket (nor did she respond to his Instagram tag asking if she liked it). Chercrew is just a fan club name and I couldn’t see any backstage photos? Just his planner on his wall with the concert in it? He’s just trying to capitalise on her fame like he does Meri IMO. Happy to be proven wrong, but I think a mega star like Cher has better taste in friends than D grade reality star Meri’s ‘BFF’ 😉

Except... he didn’t design it for her, he designed it for himself to wear to her concert 😂 He comes across as an uber fan who’s name dropping at best, he probably photoshopped Cher in to that pic or won a competition to meet her or something.