alotmorestupider

I like that Kenny and Armando’s toughest challenge so far was the peso to USD explanation and disbelief about open containers of street candy. These are normal problems for a partner moving abroad. I rolled my eyes about Kenny not being able to buy groceries without Armando though. I’m fully confident you can buddy. I felt horrible for Jihoon when his mom told him to stop crying. She’s from a different culture and generation but what a horrible thing to ask of someone who’s crying. Of course he shouldn’t have resold those stolen phones to incur that debt. But what’s done is done and he can’t go back in time to undo the embarrassment. She’s right about one thing though - he needs to use this pain to motivate himself and you know, work full-time. Brittany’s mouth bothers me. It looks like she’s permanently grimacing.

Holy shit, how many times can Paul say five? “Buy five, save five! Five dollars! Five! Five! Five! What kinds of pads do you need? Wings? Beautiful pads!” I feel violently ragey listening to this lunatic babble on about nonsense shit he knows nothing about. That trailer home was terrifying. Is there air conditioning, Paul wonders. I rolled my eyes so hard, they almost got stuck. Debbie talks about Jessie in a jealous, catty tone that I would use to talk about a beautiful coworker of my husband I’m suspicious about. She’s not even a low-key mother/wife. She’s brazen and unapologetic in how distraught she is hearing about Colt’s future kids and seeing her husband/son express affection for another woman. Don’t get me wrong, that make out was disgusting and I lost years off my life witnessing that, but for Debbie to go off the deep end is just bizarre. I’d wrinkle my face seeing my son stick his tongue in someone but I doubt I’d screech and curse and carry on like Debbie did. I wanna know HOW Jess is able to hand sex with Colt. What kind of medication allows that to happen?!

In that airport freak out scene, Brittany looked like she was struggling not to laugh. The whole thing looked so fake and scripted. Is this the best TLC can come up with? Jihoon’s friends were hilarious and astute. I liked him last season because he seemed so light-hearted, humorous and easygoing. The fact that he’s a father now and only works part time doing deliveries has officially put him in loser territory. Is unemployment rampant in South Korea? Are rental prices sky high like in New York or London? I want to know what he does with his time. I also want to know if Jenny has health insurance in India.

I’m still nauseous after hearing Coltee’s new girlfriend say she liked sex with him. What...the...everloving...fuck. She enjoyed THAT body pressed up against her?! She must really, really love America. The way Colt suggestively raises his eyebrows makes me gag a little. I’m literally currently a breastfeeding mother and I found it strange for 3 moms in a pool to all simultaneously breastfeeding their babies...while being filmed. “Hey we’re filming today! What should we do? Maybe breastfeed in the pool?” They think they’re sexy, empowered young mothers but really it just reeks of being a try-hard thirsty D-list reality tv “celebrity”. Also, Becky’s boobs look very saggy in that swimsuit. I don’t believe a second of Libby’s family drama.

Wow you guys, Catelynn makes her own baby food when she doesn’t have a job and also has a stay at home husband! Jesus Christ, how does she keep it all together? Could her hair stylist be less interested in her stupid baby food venture? And good god, those bangs, Catelynn.

I just rewatched Catelynn’s 16 and Pregnant episode and I’m shocked at both how dysfunctional their homes were and how mature they were for their age. Watching those two brave teenagers cry while talking about how loved Carly will be with her adoptive parents brought me to tears as well. And April and Butch guilting them over their decision saying “all she needs is love” is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. I’m sure the years he spent in prison won him multiple fatherhood awards as he loved his kids from behind bars. April and her verbal abuse and constantly calling her emotionally wracked child a “bitch” gave me second hand anxiety. Now I’m kind of understanding all of Catelynn’s trauma talk. It was traumatizing to watch On a different note, I don’t know how anyone can labor with so many fucking people in the room and your mother and MIL staring at your vagina. I can’t believe how raw this episode is.

How was Mackenzie not bawling her eyes out during the funeral? Maybe it’s my 38 week pregnancy hormones but man, how devastating to lose your mother so young. Josh doesn’t know why she’s calling him crying? Could he wager a guess maybe? It was also so kind of him to say “if you’re talking about killing yourself, I’m not gonna be a part of that” and then leave the house while she was crying out for help. I still think she’ll realize eventually that they’re a horrible match and she’s better off without his dead eyes and her wandering penis. Cheyenne has the cutest daughter EVER but fuck, I hate her gravelly voice. It hurts my ears. It’s annoying they pretend she doesn’t get any time away from her kid, who spends a few days a week at her dads house. Come on, that’s more than some parents get in a year. I do think she’s quite gracious about Taylor’s presence in Ryder’s life. Holy crap, Catelyn gave up on a career possibility?! My shock and disbelief almost sent me into early labor. She’ll never amount to anything except a possible contender for My 600 lb Life. Cate and Tyler think they’re amazing for breaking the cycle of parental trauma but somehow I doubt either of them are reading parenting books or discussing techniques and styles with other parents. They have way too many inappropriate conversations in front of Nova. I don’t understand these men who come out of the woodwork to impregnate Amber. Is it worth a machete attack to get some screen time on a trashy MTV show? What do they actually get out of this besides an Instagram following and some sponsored posts? Maci’s story is too boring to even discuss but it’s a good thing. I’m happy for her that her life is so dull and drama-free that the most interesting thing is her son attending private school.

There’s nothing like discussing your entire relationship’s future over pink glitter paint and tit molds and two perfect strangers. I don’t believe Steph and Erica’s relationship for a single second and they are boring as fuckkkk. Yolanda’s story is equally boring and is dragging out forever. I did like her make up at the coffeehouse and I love an older lady with a bold eye. “How could he be Nigerian with a British accent?” Yes, that is impossible Yolanda. Does it drive anyone else insane hearing her call him Wi-yims? I had to physically suppress the bile rising in my throat watching Ed massage Rose and asking to “halik” her. I could never be a prostitute. Just looking at his face was so revolting, I cannot for the life of me imagine him naked. What in God’s name happened to his neck? He turns his whole body every time he wants to look at something. The nauseated look on Rose’s face the morning after was how we all collectively felt watching their scenes. It gives me fresh perspective on how cushy my quarantined life is compared to someone who has to sleep with Ed or live in abject poverty with a young child forever. I wonder how lackluster the casting choices were for this season for the producers to put Darcy and Tom on again. He rambled some crap about coming with an open heart and she spouted some gibberish about deserving better but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before and it’s BORING. He does look great after the weight loss and his glasses really suit him. “Did you put on weight?” I wish he’d had the guts to repeat it louder cuz you know she would’ve stewed on that for weeks.

Holy shit at McKenzie’s mother. I feel horrible saying that because of her passing but I’m appalled at her terrible advice. Truly appalled. “What did you do to cause this kind of behavior? Getting excessively mad at him for everything?” Of course we need to be smiley and cloyingly pleasant all the time to prevent our husband’s penises from straying! I detest this sentiment with all my heart. It is messed up she’d try to blame her daughter for her shitbag husband’s infidelity. Tyler really seems to be faking it. He seems so artificially enthusiastic especially with his “oh heyyyy good looking!” and that tight close-mouthed kiss. Please. I hope they’re finally able to have that boy they both want so badly.

The awkwardness between Geoffrey and Varya was physically painful to watch. My face was scrunched up like the time I watched my toddler put a mud-covered rock on his eye. For a semi-attractive middle aged man, Geoffrey is WEIRD. I get that first meetings can be a bit awkward but how can you not have something to talk about? How about “my flight was ___ and this happened on it” or “are there restaurants close to your apartment you’d recommend” or “I’m hoping to see ___ before I go”. He’s in a brand new country for the first time and tells her she has lipstick on her teeth. He wants to try traditional Russian food but only stuff he’d like to eat. Okay, buddy. I think that herring thing actually looked pretty good. He’s starting to creep me out. I can’t believe you can call someone your girlfriend but you have never discussed where you’d both stay when you visit or who cooks in your home. Does anyone else think Varya looks cross-eyed? Aww Yolanda and her ramblings. I almost felt bad for her but then she said “I was trying to build a life with this man” and called him yet again and I just wanted to slap her. Really, lady? You can’t think of ONE reasonable explanation for a disappearing IG account and a Manchester man who doesn’t know the name of the Manchester airport? Stephanie’s storyline is soooo, so boring. I’m sure she’ll gain a few thousand more YouTube followers from this, so good for her. The whole bisexual thing seems so overblown, especially the fake tears at the tennis court about how close she is with her mom. Mom is worried you’ll touch the wrong door handle and die on your trip. I don’t think she minds so much who you date. Ash has a nice apartment and drives an Audi. How much is he charging for these coaching sessions?! His crazy eyes are a off-putting but he seems pretty decent if a little slick with the ladies. HOW are these ancient ladies like Lisa and Angela feeling so attractive for these 30 year old men? I’m 33 and feel old and frumpy after a day of work. I cannot even imagine wanting to do the deed after 15 hours of travel and looking like...that. And omfg the kissing. Are men really able to get erections for women they’re not attracted to? I can’t even get in the mood when my husband belches in the bedroom.

Lisa is utterly repulsive. As others have said on the previous episode, she’s even worse than Angela and that’s really saying something. Angela’s awful but at least she’s boisterous and she seems like someone whose company I might enjoy totally wasted. Lisa on the other hand seems completely joyless and bitter and someone who always asks to speak to the manager. Her friends all look like hobgoblins. Man, how does Yolanda get through life being that naive and clueless? She’s a mother to SIX. Six!!! Can she not google the name of the Manchester airport herself? We were graced with more of Williams’ “English accent. I can tell Yolanda has never left the US. “I’m hoping this was all a misunderstanding” is the tagline for every sucker who’s every been scammed. Varya seems like a woman with goals. She’s lucky to have found Geoffrey cuz I think I’d date him without green card needs. And just think, Rose has to have sex with Ed to have a better life. Varya won the green card scam lottery with Geoffrey. Ash uses many words to basically say nothing. I imagine he does that in his relationship coaching sessions too

Michael’s ex-wife has the strangest mannerisms. The way she tilts her head like a teenager and her exaggerated body movements when she talks are so bizarre. I feel like it’s all to overcompensate for her discomfort and insecurity over Julianna. If my ex-husband married someone who looked like Julianna, I’d feel like a wet, rotting piece of dog poo standing next to her. She’s gorgeous. Who wouldn’t feel insecure with their ex-spouse marrying her? That Oregon beach house was amazing. And Emily always has the dumbest expression on her face. Sasha looks like he’s scanning the horizon for something else to sink his dick into. Why didn’t they get married on the actual beach? Like...on the sand? All the people walking to the beach with their chairs and umbrellas was very distracting. Annie and Sad Care Bear’s scene with porno granny was so scripted and fake. It didn’t even make for interesting dialogue or drama so 1/10 for their segments this episode. Ahhh Jasmine. I, too hate slaving like a peasant from 9-5. I, too am not work-oriented, as in I prefer spending my days riding my champion stallion, pausing for a spot of tea before shopping for cottage furniture. But alas, I have these pesky things called “bills” and “insurance” and even worse, “childcare”. I can’t imagine for a minute that Blake can sustain Jasmine’s lifestyle on an unsuccessful music producer salary. Aaaaand Mursel is back. For a few minutes, I furrowed my brow and wondered if I accidentally put on episode 1 from this season or if I’d sustained a head injury. Another visa? Another flight to the US? He flew home and magically they were ok with the marriage after all? This episode was full of filler material and deleted scenes.

THREE comments?! Oh this hurts my soul. Kiaya looks different every episode. Every time she changes her hair, I can’t tell who I’m looking at. Her face is like a chameleon. I actually think Brianna is very pretty. Also noticed the nonstop procession of junk food and hope she gets it together before she also ends up sweaty and breathless at 41. Is Bar out there dating? I can only imagine how furious Ashley would be to see him with another woman. She absolutely loves dangling him on her hook and is just eating up his attention and jealousy. Yeah, I’d make Stefan take me to court for an overnight visit with his lovely “ass-beating till you miscarry” girlfriend. I doubt he’d be interested in pursuing legal action to see his kid. Win-win. Iziah doesn’t need someone like that around. I can definitely see Stefan getting physical with a toddler for spilling a drink or peeing on his Jordan’s.

I, too enjoyed Iorek Byrnison's portrayal. The CGI and voice casting was spot on. I dislike LMM as Lee Scoresby though; in my mind Lee is confident but not obnoxious. He's charming but isn't an attention-seeking showboat. LMM is great, but he's such an over-actor and I feel like he's such obvious comedic relief that it takes me right out of the story. Overall I felt it was a slow episode but I'm glad they're finally on their way north. The set for Trolleslund was perfect and the backdrop (wherever they filmed this) was stunning.

Hmmm interesting! i just ordered the Book of Dust trilogy. Mrs. Coulter does have some pretty unique abilities like being able to see a witch when "invisible" and teaching the Spectres to fly. I don't remember the daemon-distancing skill being very prominently mentioned in the books. Thanks!

How did she acquire this skill?

Why, in the show, is Mrs. Coulter able to separate from her daemon? This wasn't the case in the books at all, was it? She's still fully conscious and sentient so she hasn't been severed and as far as I know, she isn't a witch and never abandoned her daemon the shores of the land of the dead. I wonder why this detail has been changed and where the show's writer intend to take it?

Briana and her coven have no sense of boundaries with men. And really, how could they? Has a man ever stuck around for more than an afternoon? Have they ever witnessed a self-sufficient, responsible man treat a partner or child with respect and care? Indifference and abandonment is pretty much all they know. I felt for Briana when she cried in the car with her sister. She seemed so vulnerable and alone at that moment without a dependable father figure for either of her children or herself. Obviously she should not have given any money to deadbeat Luis but she did it from a place of desperately wanting his involvement and not wanting to be the bad guy. She's dumb but I guess I don't blame her given her upbringing and fatherless situation.

I wish more people watched this trainwreck so I could have more hilarious posts to read. Mallorie (or however you spell her name) is disturbing to watch. There's a lot of general dysfunction in that family but it's clear she has no interest in raising a child whatsoever. I'm actually glad she had the clarity and maturity to admit that out loud and contemplate signing her over to her mother. But while she's riding the honesty train, let's not go so far as to say "I'd do anything for that child" because bitch, that's just a lie. You won't stop smoking meth behind the town dumpster long enough to feed your own baby, just own up to it. I feel horrible for little Emerson, who will grow up with the exact same abandonment issues that Mallorie and Rachel have.

Respectfully disagree. Teenage years encapsulate many years (13-19) so it's a broad range and I do agree with you for younger teens. But for those nearing adulthood and ready to explore their sexuality, it can be such a liberating and exhilarating experience. Girls are getting laid too and definitely not always pregnant. I found that time so exciting! Birth control is so readily available in so many forms and the semi-permanent kind can't even be forgotten. I'm all for waiting until you're ready, but I don't believe that teenagers aren't ready to explore their sexuality.

I find this a bigger trainwreck than 90 Day Fiance which is really saying something. The generational cycles of teen pregnancy is especially depressing and I'm so curious about the contributing factors. One of the new girls said she couldn't remember to take a pill every day; dumb, but she at least had access to birth control which indicates either her or her parents had the financial means and foresight to at least try to prevent pregnancy. It's all so confusing. Chloe is back with that jaw. Omfg, that thing is hard to look at. Her mom has a corpse-like appearance to her and is likewise hard to look at. Is it just me or does she look like she's been decomposing for a day or two? They're a nice middle class family - why on Earth was Chloe's underbite not fixed as a child? I judge them more for that than the teen pregnancy. The mom-who-was-a-teen-mom and now has TWO daughters who are teen moms...have you ever seen anyone look more exhausted in your life? I can already see those tiny infant daughters holding their own daughters in another 16 years. Literally everyone I know had sex in high school. I have no regrets whatsoever. Exploring your sexuality is normal at that age but having a baby is choosing to life on your on difficult mode and it's so easily preventable. Like sane human beings, we were responsible for our birth control and there was nary a pregnant teen in my graduating class either.

This just made my WHOLE WEEK.

Toaster Strudel, where are you epic recaps?! I used to look forward to them after every episode of whatever 90 day series was on before this one! They give me life.

Hair becoming longer and coarser after shaving is a myth. I don't have a problem with Leah shaving at 9 but it's pretty gross how Amber thinks swooping in and "being there" for her daughter for 1 day of shaving makes her a "damn good mom". If you have to say you're classy, you aren't, and the same thing goes for parenthood. If you need to insist that you're a good parent, you definitely aren't. I'm intrigued by Catelyn and Tyler's relationship. They still have sex? She has libido even with her trauma? As someone mentioned upstream, I don't blame Cate for not wanting to watch the episodes. It would devastate her and exacerbate her anxiety and depression. I think deep down she knows she's been selfish and that she does not enjoy being around her daughter. I think she also knows her PPD will be horrible this time around too but was hoping a son would be an adequate relationship bandaid.

Toaster Strudel, your recaps give me life. Truly, I get excited seeing your avi every week. Agreed with the others that this season is seriously bumming me out. Leida's face on screen gives me so much anxiety, I need to take a melatonin to fall asleep after watching this Sunday night tragedy. I've never seen a face that cries out for a fist so badly in my life. The way she was passive aggressively saying "Why are you yelling at me? Oh that's nice (sarcastically)" whilst poking at her eyeballs when Eric started getting upset about relinquishing his parental rights made my guts clench with rage. And the blank expression when she handed Allessandro his water, then abandoned him to his own devices while filling the air with profanity. That poor kid reminds me of my own son and I can only imagine how bewildered, lonely and anxious he must feel in this new environment. Ugh, much anxiety. Does Steven know what a newborn eats? How frequently? Which vaccinations they require and when? Somehow I doubt the answer is yes to any of the above. The notion of him caring for a newborn by himself with little to no support is so ludicrous and I'm heartbroken for Olga. Again, my sort-of-new-mom sensibilities are offended to the core at the idea of someone jetting off with my baby for God knows how long. Even if Steven were an even-tempered, well employed, mature and sensible adult, I'd have second hand anxiety for Olga having to part ways with her baby.