cathaireverywhere

And no Marylander is going to call it a crab boil! It's a crab feast, and there better be newspaper or at least brown paper to make a mess on. I'm only a few minutes into the show, and I am predicting that melted butter is going to make an appearance. Ain't nobody in Maryland melting butter for steamed crabs. Go Os!!

When folks were talking about Phaedra's eye twitch at the roundtable, I wish she would have said "Umm, have you seen my fake eyelashes??? Of course I'm twitching!" I can't imagine that Kate is going to turn away from the traitor invite, especially if she is murdered by refusing. I didn't know anything about Kate when I watched the first season, but I've since watched her on Below Deck. I am highly amused by her, so I hope she stays in the castle with these ninnies.

For the love of God, stop including slurping audio! I do not need to hear the captain suck up his morning espresso, the slow ass chef suck down his tea, or those tacky ass guests hoover down their banana daiquiris. They seem to like including this as much as lingering shots of Cat the hungry stew shoving food down her maw. Clearly I am not the audience for ASMR...

I completely echo your Dawn sentiments!! Now, I'm someone who runs perpetually 5 minutes behind in life, but that's why I am not on a timed competition show! Oh, and I can't cook. I actually enjoy Sarah, and perhaps that is because I'd classify myself as a loud-mouthed broad. Seeing how this was her first time in England and with the potential to go to Paris, I'm excited to see her explore new locales. Finally, when they first panned to the judges at the Elimination table, I saw a pair of white eyeglasses, and was dreading that Graham Elliott was back. I was thrilled to see that he had not crossed the Atlantic, and I greatly enjoyed the judge with those specs.

That final sketch has cemented me firmly in the "Sarah Sherman is not for me" camp. She reminds of Kristin Wiig if she only ever played hyper, dialed to 11 characters. So much mugging to the camera!

I am not at all surprised that Crystal is a grown ass adult who celebrates a "birthday week."

You were definitely not the only one who had this hope! I was way too old when 2Gether came out, but I loved them. I am sure it's because Jerry was my high school theater star and as a backstage geek, I had a big old crush on him.

I really dislike Sarah Sherman. Her haircut makes me stabby, and her constant yelling and smirking increases my stabbing urges. Ok, I would never commit violence, but damn, she is not funny.

It looks like Candiace fell face first into a bucket of highlighter. Her make up is as unattractive as her personality.

Thank you Hotwives of Orlando for this very fitting GIF. I am not enjoying Tayisha and Kaitlyn at all, so much giggling and squealing. I guess I'm not a girl gang sorta gal. After tonight, I think Uncle Greg is taking home the final rose. And Catman will be devastated.

It's a slippery slope for Meghan to find a different idiom. Always, today's hairstyle makes it look like she took a tumble down a slippery slope.

Lord, my lady crush on Rachel continues to grow. And we both tore ligaments by missing a stair! I just wish I could get my hair to look as good as hers.

Sunny's sparkly hair pins are not my favorite look. Today, she wore one that said GLAM, but for the first half of the show I thought it said BLAH. I found that amusing as it was on the side of her head next to Meghan.

That balloon stunt makes me really angry because it is so bad for the environment, wildlife, EVERYTHING! Hey Karen, maybe finish your damn perfume to honor your parents. Wait, that's probably going to be toxic, so never mind.

The most offensive thing I've ever seen on this show is the dinner featuring king crab legs at the Grand Dame's house. King crabs should not be served within a 100 mile radius of the Chesapeake Bay! And there have been plenty of offensive things on this show like Ashley's mud brown curly mop/wig and Candiace's fuschia's eye make up "look." Blue crabs 4 life! And you keep the butter far away from it!

Guys, I think this is the first time Peter has ever experienced disappointment in his life! I hope his mom didn't strain something blowing all those kisses up to him on stage. And I'm pretty sure Peter did strain something once he got home from Greece, and I'm not talking about his self-tanner applying hand... Mike for the Bachelor!

While I love "Baba O'Reilly" since Pearl Jam closes lots of their shows with it, I think the more appropriate Who song is "Won't Get Fooled Again." Beto, get out of the presidential race and try the senator thing again. There's way more than a snowball's chance in hell with that one. And since Beto's been on once before, I hope that means we are spared Sunny's policy speed round.

Meg's eye roll at Whoopi's invocation of The Sound of Music had me wanting to leap through the television and smack those eyes right out of her head. You do not disparage The Sound of Music! And as someone who lives paycheck to paycheck, Meg's constant harping about how expensive things can be is on the top of my very long list of "reasons this dumb broad drives me crazy." It seems like I add something new to the list every day.

that fucking skyline hat. that is all.

I came home at lunch to watch Howard Stern on today's episode. I see that the letters came off of the sash on Sunny's dress. I'm assuming it read Mrs. Manny, Wife of the Year. Howard's been talking on his show about his plan to let Nutmeg know how much he respected her dad. Meggie made it clear in the opening that she's a big Howard fan. I hope that Howard has the chance to point out the extreme views that Nutmeg reads off of her blue cards and how her father wouldn't stand for much of it. However, I am definitely not counting on it.

I appreciated Sunny and Joy rightly naming the recent attack as domestic terrorism. It made me think of the hilarious and right on point bit done by Samantha Bee on her Correspondent Dinner show about racism and not sugar coating it. Let's get Sam at the table this week instead of these AWFUL guests. (And I heard Howard Stern say on his show today that he's going on the View to push his book. Cannot wait!!)

Watching Tuesday's episode, and I think Meghan's eyelashes grow with each childish outburst. Each time she would look down at her cards, I was so distracted by those centipedes hanging off her eyes. I think Whoopi's brush with death has made her understand what is important to her, so she's finally standing up to Meghan's tantrums. It was great to watch her swat down Meghan's "but TERRORISTS!!!" interruptions. And sorry to state the obvious, but Abby is as dim as a burned out light bulb. In fact, she herself is so obvious: We just need people to come together! America is better than this! One might think she didn't get into U Penn based on her exceptional cognitive abilities...

I am fairly pro Hannah B. I find her goofy and endearing. And if she really is the Bachelorette, they were totally telegraphing it in The Women Tell All with all of the close ups of her giant caps and shiny hair. They really wanted to show what she was feeling about every damn thing!

Watching Cassie's dad talk to his limp haired daughter makes me realize that the famewhore apple doesn't fall fair from the famewhore tree. This conversation did not need to happen on a sofa in Portugal. Dad was just ready to be back on camera. I wonder if he made an appearance in his daughter's other TV show?

Guys, I think we might want to check the weather report for hell freezing over because I agree with Meghan about those kids with Diane Feinstein. I do think they were being used as props. Granted, that doesn't me that these kids aren't truly worried about climate change. I just saw an article about all the anxiety felt by people because of climate change. But it just feels manipulative to use these kids to get an audience with the Senator. And just when I was having good feelings towards Meghan, she asked Joy if Larry Kramer was a child. Lord, it is so frustrating that Abby and Meghan don't know contemporary history.