Muffyn

So Rino has an enlarged prostate. He'll be fine. He's a big asshole so he has plenty of room to carry around an enlarged prostate. Jim could handle one the size of an elephant.

From Ask Sister Mary Martha: "The Sign of the Cross is made with the right hand. That's just how it's done. If you're Roman Catholic, you touch your head, your heart, your left shoulder and then your right shoulder. If you are Eastern Orthodox, you touch your right shoulder first." http://asksistermarymartha.blogspot.com/2010/05/little-left-handed-devils.html So we're all right! Ghoulina, much like you, I gave up on church the second I could. Having been through baptism, first communion and confirmation, my atheist self is still a Catholic. My name is in the book. Having been brought up in the church, the sign of the cross becomes ingrained. What stood out to me in the Amber and Jim go to church scene was that he seemed to really need to think about it. And they talked in church (where is a nun with a ruler when you need her?). And they played out a story line that Amber left the service to call Theresa. It's not quite at the Melissa "saved a wench like me" levels of trying to prove religiosity, but it does seem like such an act for the cameras. Then again, 99% of Jim and Amber's personas seem like an act for the cameras, so I guess I shouldn't expect anything different in church. Will the show ever answer the question of whether she gave up lentils for the season?

I can the twins being stupid enough to think it meant something and Bobby and Rino laughing while they signed because they know the contract is meaningless. Jim cannot exactly enact a morals or behavior clause on people who do not work for him. I have a male friend who, when he gets called on doing something petty and ridiculous like this, will say, "I am a tiny, tiny man." Jim M. is a tiny, tiny man emotionally and physically. He can be proud of his two-fer in this category. I'm going to see if Jim will write up a few contracts for me for my neighbors. One talks to loudly. Another places their trash cans at the side of the house. And heaven help the bastard that occasionally double parks while unloading groceries.

Theresa has some serious muscle. I think she’s working out more so she can take care of herself in the prison yard. A dinner party when someone is doing a colonoscopy cleanse is just disgusting. I was surprised Bravo didn’t put a camera in the bathroom so we could get every grunt, groan and squirt of Rino’s BM. Classy! The funny part of the car scene to me was Theresa saying how she can multitask and wanting to take the phone from Gia. She was driving and holding an open cup of coffee. Was she planning to use the phone and drive with her knees? As you’ve all pointed out, that is some quality parenting in action. Way to keep your eye on the prize! I figured Amber would get the good news that she is cancer free in time to make the Florida trip, hoping that then she will be the center of attention and everyone will focus on how happy they are that she no longer has The Cancer. Of course, none of these people give a rat’s ass about her and her cancer scare may well have not been real. If you only have to wait a day or two to re-do the tests and get the new results, why would you cancel the trip (unless they were leaving the very next day, which they weren’t)? She is really trying to amp up the drama. I call shenanigans on the call from the church. There were people sitting near and behind Jim and Amber during the service. When she got up to call Theresa, the part of the church that we saw was empty. D’oh! I doubt everyone was still at the altar getting ashes. We really don’t need another fake religious family on an RH show. Jim better practice the sign of the cross before he does it in public again. That house that Joe Go and Mel are supposedly building is one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. The god awful turrets. Is this Cinderella’s castle? 9,000 square feet and very few bedrooms (for a house that size). Does every room need to be cavernous and cold? Whenever these two go in for a colonoscopy, they’ll find their taste firmly planted deep up their asses. To be a successful builder, you need to build what other people want to buy, not a monstrosity to desperately try to make up for your small man syndrome. A huge house only makes him look tinier. Can I give up lentils for the lentil season or do I need to eat more lentils then?

So Theresa was both laying and lying on the floor? Laying on the floor while she lies about almost everything in her life?

It could be quite helpful if you have SAM in your pants.

The gecko telling stupid jokes while on a ferry in Seattle. I just keeping hoping for him to fall overboard (or have someone push him). Unfortunately he's not real so the fall wouldn't kill him.

Unless the news is that Amber got into Mensa, I doubt it will be all that shocking.

Tony Hale's delivery is genius on that line. He does a creepy whisper and pulls his shoulders up and head down like he's trying to hide. Always makes me laugh.

Both Tamra and Simon are so slimy, it all comes down to a case of he slimed, she slimed. There are no winners in a steaming pile of wrong.

I'm assuming there's a typo here. We're not sure if Monica Lewinsky ever came. The evidence was all from Bill. I'll let myself out . . . .

This is a good assessment of Sandhya's emotional intelligence. I do wonder how much is also cultural differences coming into play. She doesn't pick up on the subtle clues people put out, then, when they react, she doesn't understand the reaction and has a tendency to double down rather than reassessing how and what she is saying. It's as if she is thinking they don't understand what she's saying so she should just explain it better instead of realizing they are upset by what she is saying and she would be better off apologizing and trying to soften the statement. Reality shows have implemented the save ostensibly to protect the good person who has an off week. However it often seems to be used to protect a fan favorite instead. For PR, since it is not real time, to some extent I think Tim is trying to guess who might be a fan favorite. Fade faded big time on this challenge. It's a shame because in this lackluster season, he seems to be one of the better designers. However, he doesn't seem the best at stepping out of his comfort zone, something that should be needed for PR (I say should be because the Anya win throws that idea out). I wish Korina didn't have immunity because that was definitely deserving of an auf. I kind of wonder if they weren't sure in the "blind" judging which outfit belonged to Sandhya and which was Amanda's. Maybe they were trying to get their favorite in the top? Also, didn't Tim yet again give a designer advice that ended up being the opposite of what the judges wanted or am I imagining things? Last week he told Kini to change the hemline which got called out on the runway. I thought he did something similar this week. I don't watch as closely as I used to. Off to get something out of my Samsung fridge. I hear the water tastes better when it's chilled in a Samsung. Fade, you will be missed.

Sandhya, Hot dog on a stick called. They ordered striped hats, not striped jumpsuits. Hey, did you know Samsung makes refrigerators? Kini and Fade performed beautifully in the Samsung makes the greatest refrigerators ever skit; that is, until Fade chuckled near the end. There was actually one shot in which Alexander’s mouth was closed. At least now I can imagine he doesn’t eat with his mouth open and food tumbling out.

Based on these tattoos I'm not sure these "artists" have ever seen a woman or a person. If these tattoos represented real people, then we have a group with some major physical deformities - one leg much longer than the other, claw hands, club feet, bulging foreheads, misshapen elbows, a nose fit for an elephant seal. This was rough all the way around.

Now that is a dream worth having! When Joe "goes to college", the real issue is whether he'll be there long enough to earn an Associate's degree, a Bachelor's or a Master's. Let's just hope the younger children really don't think he is at college and not in prison. I would hate for them to grow up thinking you need to commit a felony to get into school. They are wading in a shallow genetic pool. They may need more help than most figuring out the difference.

Now if the first 10 in the diamond pendant series would drop well below $999 I would buy one just for the phone call from Vicki. Of course I would want to set up a conference call so we could all join in. Vicki is the gift that keeps on giving. OK, weird story, two friends of mine, both women, were dating. When they broke up one of them sent the other a bill for the cost of dating, including ATM receipts for money she took out on weekends they were together, expecting to get half of all costs back. When the other one asked what she should do, I answered, "Nothing." She basically ignored the request and it quietly went away. Of course, they were both young and poor at the time. I can see Brooksie suing for palimony. While I already know Vicki is an idiot, she is even more so if she moves in with him.

Hey now, the young master Albie didn't flunk out. Caroline would never admit that. He simply failed to maintain the minimum grades necessary to continue within the program in a manner that would lead to his graduation. And of course this was due to the school not providing the young master with the appropriate support and encouragement to help him courageously battle his way through given his grave learning disability - those bastards!

If you calculate her age based on the average age of her parts and fillers, she's getting younger every year. Tamra is in the negative numbers now; she is pre-born. Number one in the 'hood, G.

I just had lunch and I would like to keep it down. Feeling queasy at the thought.

It's not a pill -- it's Botox for the bladder! So you can have the youngest-looking, most wrinkle free bladder in the neighborhood. Okay, so Botox is actually used medically. I've had it done for a non-bladder or beauty related issue. I just really want to push bladder beauty as a positive side effect because the side effects in that commercial are enough to make you buy crates of LBL products even if you don't need them.

Dr. Muffyn waited half an hour before he came to the living room to say, "We don't have heated towel drawers. How can you love me for my heated towel drawers?" So he couldn't sleep until this all important question was resolved. Given Dr. Terry's supposed stress -based insomnia from the ridiculous spats on this show, I'm starting to think there is a doctor issue that prevents them from properly processing stupidity. Of course in Dr. Terry's case, he is often the root of the stupidity. And, if Dr. Muffyn heard someone told me to spread my legs while getting on a bull, I don't think he would come down with the vapors. After all, I wouldn't be riding side saddle.

I may need to start watching this with the sound off. All of the bullshit goading and insulting each other is just tiresome. There is not enough STFU in the world for this group. And the tattoos were ugly.

Dr. Muffyn now thinks I'm crazy. I just walked into the bedroom and told him, "Oh darling, I love you for your heated towel drawers" and left the room. Whenever I see Collette's name, I automatically add "that bitch". The Dubrows have changed me.

This is the first time I have voted in one of these types of polls. Mine were definitely anti-Caroline votes. I haven't been able to stand that woman since I first laid eyes on her. Shannon had a good last half of her first season. We'll see how the rest of her reality career goes. I agree with the poster who said TPTB were probably hoping for a Caro win to promote her new show. Hmm, watching Manzo'd with Children or dental surgery without anesthetic? Bring on the drill!

I like to think of those as her dead dog diamondz. Now I'll go make myself a "bloody piggy" (just typing that makes me queasy - wonder why that drink didn't take off). ETA: Persnickety1 beat me to it!