Muffyn

Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough. Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. George Michael: I have Pop Pop in the attic. Michael: What? The mere fact that you call "making love" Pop Pop tells me that you're not ready. Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man! -Lucille Buster so excelled at being neither seen nor heard that he remained at the school undetected for a full two semesters after he was supposed to graduate. -Narrator There are dozens of us. Dozens! -Tobias Some of Tobias' finest: Okay Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? An analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist. I'll be your wingman. Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up. I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So now I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands. Oh come on, don't leave your Uncle Tea Bag hangin' I'm afraid I just blue myself. Well, Michael, you really are quite the cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks anytime. Michael: Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you're gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing. GOB -Well I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son (Narrator: He does), but if I ever do, I'm either gonna take him to the cabin in the woods, or I'm gonna promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will never do, is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him!

For all the talk of the great argument between Julia and her canvas, I cannot remember what he actually asked her for. What did he want in his tattoo?

Just wanted to follow up on my earlier post. I got my hair cut. Ended up taking off about three inches or about as much as Amber did. It looks a little shorter because it curls more. Somehow I could not get my family to join me for this momentous occasion. The stylist also didn't make sure I was surrounded by photos of myself and fake flowers. I am really doing something wrong. Where is my Tiny Jim in his big boy coat to make sure my grooming rituals become major events? Sure Dr. Muffyn commented that I looked nice, but he did not stop everything, bring in family and make my hair the entire focus of a day. Harrumph, what is a hair cut without tears and displays of overwhelming emotion?

You've nailed what bothered me about Amanda's collection. The combination of materials, in many cases, did not work. I kept noticing the puckering. The different materials didn't move the same either. We've seen other designers make this mistake on individual pieces. She seems to do it repeatedly. When even the slender model looked like she had a bit of a gut, I'm going to say that created a triangle shape highlighting the navel does not work. The top button buttoned look made me think we were channeling Hispanic gangs from LA as portrayed on crime dramas. Give that girl some chinos and wallet on a chain to complete the look.

I think many of the designers have been able to get careers in fashion from the show. That is, they've been hired within the industry. Think of Austin Scarlett working for Vera Wang in wedding design. Very few designers become big names on their own. Getting a solid career in the industry is a worthwhile goal. It's just not what Project Runway has promised - the next great fashion designer. For many of the contestants, using this show as a stepping stone or to get a foot in the door makes sense. Her clothes don't even look comfortable to me. They look really heavy and with most of them you can't wear a bra. I am top heavy. I cannot imagine being comfortable with all of that weight pulling down on my breasts. I also noticed how often her models walked with their hands in the pockets, making the dresses flair out better. I can see wanting to emphasize the pockets, this may have also had to do with letting the clothes walk better. They would look more sack-like without the models helping to create the shape. Each designer had some looks I liked, many I was indifferent to, and some truly heinous choices. Sean's orange and white fringe (traffic cone) dress [thanks fellow poster for noticing that] and skirt were so unflattering. Kini's final gown was hideous. Many of his pieces were so heavy. Char had that turquoise mess and the white attack of the ruffles. Amanda had ill-fitting pants and weird material mixes showing puckering. I guess they couldn't say no one for the win. It was a seriously lackluster season. From Nina's statements, Sean seems to have won based on the potential they saw in his collection rather than on the actual collection. They know what they are getting from Char, Amanda and Kini; their styles are set. Sean is still learning and changing, so he may surprise them in the future. So he was a student type winner in a show that featured a lot of student feeling work.

She could have put them on the grill earlier or timed them based on thickness. It looks like they were all underdone. If she had taken them off the bone, we would have gotten one of Tom's infamous "respect the protein" lectures. He gets up so high on his horse that you can't see his head for the clouds. I secretly love it when Tom becomes all preachy. Oh, daddy Tom, tell me how to treat my meat!

What got me was how little each person actually did in two hours of cooking. 2 hours for corn salad, poor quality bacon jam some kind of terrible vanilla sauce, etc. I know some of the items would take the time to reduce or marinate or have the flavors meld, but compared to most challenges this seemed to allow a lot of waiting/watching time. So yesterday I'm in our coffee hallway at work, carrying a hot, too full cup of tea, when someone starts to turn around, not realizing I am behind him. In true Top Chef fashion, I say "Hot behind". Then I see the look of shock on the VP of IT's face. The other day I called him "Dude", not recognizing him yet again. Next time I see him, I think I'll say "I'm cooking chicken!" to see if I can really throw him off. Of course, next time I see him might be in HR explaining that "hot behind" was not sexual harassment.

Makes me think of the Jaguar scene in Shaun of the Dead - "Do you have the child locks on?!?!?!?" It seems like people turn within 5-10 minutes once they are dead. The longer and more varied timeline is for when people are bitten. Eventually they succumb to fever and infection, die and come back as walkers. That might be related to how healthy the person is starting out - it took longer earlier on; now they should be malnourished and generally unhealthy. Also, where on the body and how deep the bite is - near the head gets the infection the brain faster; deeper gets the infection into the bloodstream more. Then again, it could all be for the convenience of the storyline and drama. Back to over-thinking other things.

The only way Albie is going to set the world on fire is with gasoline and a lighter. He seems like a relatively decent guy, but with a parent that expects him to be extraordinary, nothing ordinary will do. One of my brothers was the golden child who was supposed to elevate our family. He is now 55, living with our mother and hasn't worked in 7 years. Everything is beneath him. If Caroline isn't careful, she'll make that nightmare her reality.

Whereas Bob did put his foot down. Only he did it much too late. And he put it on the barbecue. I'll let myself out. (Thanks for the perfect set up).

I'm pretty sure they are reusing head nods, shakes, smirks, etc. It is just time wasting BS. All reality shows have an issue of splicing in scenes out of order or disassociated reaction shots, but this show takes it to the limit. Key poses and reactions: arms crossed, head nod, head shake, sneer (the Emily special), smirk, pretend chuckle, arms at side with hands in fists. It's like a weird group form of Tourette's Syndrome. They just can't control themselves.

A slow, haunting version of "You're the One That I Want" keeps playing for some godawful reason. Why? Why!?!?!?!? I don't know what the commercial is for. I just cannot fathom using that song for anything or doing a remix. No matter how they sing it, in my head I hear Olivia Newton John and John Travolta. Be gone, evil song, be gone!

Continuing a discussion from the 06:14 episode thread. Personally, I like to watch Theresa. She is an idiot, and I don't mean that in a general sense of "Oh, what an idiot." She is a profoundly stupid person who really does not understand how she comes off. So even when she is being a good little Bravo employee and playing along, she always sticks her foot in it. Always. She is remarkably clueless, all the while trying to convince us that she is a savvy business woman. That is the key to her - there is what she wants us to believe and the actuality of her. When watching, you can see her reaching for comprehension that she simply cannot achieve. She is so sensitive to being called stupid because she is very stupid. She cannot defend herself because she is fighting without any tools in her mental tool box. It is her very lack of understanding how she comes across that makes her reality TV gold. She wants a new, "cleansy" house. Of course, she lived in "used" houses her whole life until they built Chateau Juicy. She is a concerned mother, but she cannot remember to have her daughters buckle up nor does she put down her coffee for the ride to school. She is a devoted friend who never recognizes when she says something hurtful or inappropriate. She is a devoted wife who tells us that her husband is drunk all the time. She has no filters.. In a show full of stupid people, she and Joe Go stand out as beacons of idiocy. But much like Vicki from OC, Theresa's cluelessness makes her imminently watchable. I really believe it never occurred to her how egregious the financial decisions she and Juicy made were. This does not excuse her or him. They are both adults who should either know better or know that, between them, they cannot be relied upon to do basic math, let alone manage mortgages, lending and commitments to suppliers and vendors. They should have reputable accountants and financial managers handle all of their affairs. They are paying the price for a wrongful and unfathomable laissez faire attitude; eventually tomorrow is today and bills must be paid. They committed criminal acts, have rightly been convicted and are going to prison. Regardless of the rightfulness of the conviction, I take no joy in it. I understand people being glad they got caught after watching her parade her ill-gotten wealth on TV. It is especially difficult when you imagine the people who were hurt by their actions. I am an independent consultant, and I know how hard it is when you do not get paid or reimbursed for expenses. But I cannot understand the level of vitriol people express either at Juicy and Tre or in defense of them. Life goes on all around us; this is TV. Yes, their actions had horrible effects on others, including their four beautiful daughters. They will pay a price for their parents choices that we cannot fully comprehend. As parents, Tre and Joe owed their daughters so much more than they gave them. I am sure that the girls would rather have safety and stability than material goods, an unknown future and parents preparing for prison. Regardless, Tre makes me laugh and cringe. She is neither a monster nor a saint. She is a deeply flawed, painfully stupid, clueless person who can be very entertaining.

Continuing the discussion of liking or not liking Theresa G. on her thread (not the one on the trial).

You had better hope Richie doesn't hear about this. He'll tell you about his cannoli. I'll let myself out.

I am fanwanking that Gabriel kept his suit pristine by only wearing it when he goes out. He hopes if he meets anyone they'll treat him better if they know he's a priest. He has casual clothes he keeps in the church that he changes into. He could be the first member of our crew with a change of clothes. Otherwise his clerical collar would be mighty dingy by now. (My college roommate became an Episcopal priest, as was her father. I know my clerical garb.)

I suspect the "Um, what?" was in response to the phrasing of your statement "I hope they get to Beth soon." I am sure you meant you hope Daryl and Carol get to Beth and save her from the sick bastards you are imagining. But since you used a pronoun, "they" was open to interpretation. The more you know!

I've always seen Michael Cudlitz with sandy blond hair, not this godawful dayglo orange monstrosity. He also doesn't normally have what looks like the worst man perm since The Brady Bunch. I usually find him very sexy. Abraham is destroying my crush on MC.

"The boys" are getting long in the tooth. The other thing that struck me last night was how old the golden child, er exalted one, er bearer of the holy penis, um Albie looks. He is 28 going on 42. Sheesh. For a guy making money by doing nothing except being on this silly show, he sure looks like stress has worn him down. He is aging fast. Chris however continues to blossom. That is, he is spreading wider and wider every day, especially in the face. This is one rough looking crowd. Glad I don't have HD.

I figure Bob will tell them about his tainted flesh next week. Or maybe he's hoping he'll turn and get to become the snacker rather than the snackee. If he's going to die, he might as well take one of them with him. But I agree, there will have to be some kind of confrontation down the line.

I couldn't sleep last night. While flipping channels, I caught the scene of Caroline shaving her face. I get that she's trying to distinguish herself from the other housewives by being "more real", not having to be shown in full makeup at all times with her hair done, but what woman shaves her whole damn face? And does it on camera? And tries to pretend that it is somehow normal? Al telling her to take her clothes off and get in bed while she still had shaving cream on her upper lip and chin was masterful. If she was going to try to act like this was perfectly normal, he was going to one up her fuckery. I can only hope they burn off the remaining episodes of this crapfest and we never think of it again.

I'm pretty sure he was also saying he won't be buying her a big house or fancy anything. Of course, he's more than willing to spend on a sweet firehouse mural; that is, if sweet means silly, ugly, poorly drawn and ridiculous. I get the whole "we're alike because we're not materialistic and won't risk committing fraud just to front a lifestyle." At the same time, I still think he could give zero fucks about her and wouldn't even talk to her if she wasn't on this show. They have zero chemistry. Bobby won't be making any grand gestures unless it gets him something substantial in return. Nicole is not that something.

Knowing that I put way too much thought into proper preparation of people as food after watching these last two episodes, I would have expected them to separate the foot from the leg for grilling. The thickness of the meat is very different. The foot and the calf would grill for different amounts of time. The way they showed it, the heel should be burnt and the toes didn’t even look toasty. No more cool feet for Bob. When Faux-ther Gabriel asked if CDB had any food, I thought Carl said he had some Tums. I did not realize he said pecans until I read the board. Tums would have been more helpful given the recent heaving. I think Tyreese thought he killed the termite. He was pounding him in the face and probably thought he damaged his brain. Did we see blood coming out of his ears? Tyreese just didn’t realize he was doing the damage more to his face than his brain. He probably caused a concussion but didn’t kill him. Zombie kills seem to require more depth into the brain. (I must stop over-thinking these things). I think Ty was horrified by his own actions in beating a man (almost) to death and didn’t want Carol to see the evidence of his brutality. However, it does seem that a diet of grilled human gives you miraculous healing powers. The termites are looking mighty healthy.

If the Giudices' guard dogs were pitbulls, they could be given to the shelter from Pitbulls and Paroles. It would be a circle of life kind of moment for all involved.

Dina directed others as to how she wanted the candy arranged on the table. She requested risers for placing candy in the middle so it would all be easily accessible (because a lot of adults were going to be digging in the candy, I'm sure). Actual work - ten minutes. Time spent getting her makeup done - forever. I woke up the other day and realized there was ink on my fingers. I couldn't quite remember what had happened the night before. I feared I had been roofied. Slowly images of the evening came back to me, like still pictures, disjointed but vivid. I remember seeing Jim Marchese. And a contract. And Amber's long hair. There was talk of the cancer. Memorial flowers around pictures of a living woman. It seemed like the contract kept being placed before me. "Sign here", he said, almost gently. But i was so woozy I'm not sure. Slowly I started to recall his hand on mine, making me form the letters of my name. "It will all be alright", he said. I recall visuals of a clown; then I realize it was Amber smiling at me through her clown makeup. Next thing I knew I was waking up in my bed, filled with a sense of dread, ink stains spreading from my hands to the sheets, knowing my life as I had known it had changed forever for the worse.