Muffyn

I keep catching the commercial with J-E-F-F and M-A-R-Y with C-O-P-D. I'm starting to think that C-O-P-D has symptoms that include the N-E-E-D to spell all F-O-U-R letter words. Of course T-H-I-S makes me W-A-N-T to S-T-A-B T-H-E-M all.

I've been awake for several different surgeries because I can have extreme reactions to anesthesia. But I don't have major anxiety around surgery. Doing "twilight" surgery allows me to leave sooner also. Keeping her awake seemed like such a stunt for TV. I think they were hoping for her to complain through the whole thing. Terry putting even larger implants in was horrible. Her foobs were already much too big for her frame. He is obsessed with big fake boobs and it shows. We've seen so many of his patients jump when he touches their boobs again after he's completed the exam. I wouldn't let that man cut a steak for me, let alone cut my body. I wonder how his wife, Heather, is reacting to seeing him feeling up women on TV. One of her boobs didn't really look different. It was still too high and round. So he made the other one match better to a really poorly done boob job. Great work. I could do without ever seeing Lacey ever again. She is another reality show roach; she just keeps coming back. It drives me crazy when she says she wants her "triple Qs". She can't really know the size until the breasts exist because sizes are affected by fullness and shape. (Okay, so she could shove a bunch of bags of silicone in to estimate.) And what the fuck is a triple q? We used to have a porn theater in town that would occasionally list the supposed size of the actresses breasts. It would always be something odd like a 54 quadruple M. Of course if he band size was 54 she would be pretty damn beefy. And quad M doesn't exist. Lacey should just stick to the fetish porn sites and keep her jack-o-tits off of TV. Gotta go. I have to yell at some kids on my lawn now.

Vicki could have peed on her face. That's okay, I'll let myself out . . . .

Lizzie and Tamra are cut from the same cloth. Both take things that are said and amp them up for reaction. And both need to control their drinking. Tamra for her supposed inability to remember things she’s said and done. Shannon and Lizzie seemed to make the mistake of trying to keep up with the hardcore lushes that make up this cast. If I went round for round with Tamra and Vicki I would be under the table in half an hour. We have seen that Lizzie is nasty when drunk. Her comments to her husband last episode were vile. Shannon has been over her limit in terms of maintaining her normal demeanor when around people who are, in actuality, her coworkers. Lizzie has been caught in the same game Tamra plays of taking what is said and embellishing it and changing the tone so that an attempted joke or a misstatement becomes the most horrible attack ever. Lizzie whole “she said mean things about my dress” is much ado about nothing. I agree with the poster who said Lizzie probably started a joke about her dress being too short; then Tamra agreed and suddenly she was the devil incarnate (not that she’s not a horrible hose beast, she just wasn’t at her peak hideousness in this case). Tamra has repeatedly done the amp up the comments for drama sake routine. David’s email about possibly moving out for a while turned into he wants a divorce, their marriage has completely disintegrated, etc. Of course she spread these vicious rumors while expressing faux concern, all the while her beady little eyes gleamed with evil glee. The unseen game of shag, marry, kill may have had Teeths say he would shag Lizzie; if Lizzie repeated it with shag or fuck is irrelevant. She was probably joking but now it is a major offense. Vicki’s being upset about the Brooks comments is silly and yet understandable. She still fails to recongnize that Tamra talks trash about everyone. That is her only skill (that and possibly her suction power). If she’ll trash people to you, she’ll trash you to them. Vicki is oddly innocent when it comes to relationships. She really cannot imagine a friend treating her badly then is horrified when someone does exactly what they have done so many times before. Jeana was legitimately Vicki’s friend once upon a time; Tamra incapable of being one. I wanted a better take down, but the hose beast knows when to leave the building.

Are we sure Amber's "the cancer" isn't named Jim? He seems like a cancer on society to me.

I enjoyed the interstitial with blathering Sonja and Andy checking his phone more than anything else on the reunion. Also shout out for Heather saying to Aviva you needed a storyline – way to break the 4th wall. Aviva, Ramona and Sonja acting like there was anything remotely real about Harry giving a ring to Sonja and her breaking it off until he’s ready to commit to her juicy self had to have been some quid pro quo for no one saying what an incredible load of crap the George/Cody “engagement” is. This reunion seemed to feature two major things: either part of the group was pretending some made up story had meaning while other members rolled their eyes, or they were all shrieking over top of each other and my brain shut down. How anyone can be on stage with them without earplugs I cannot understand. If given a choice between admitting I said or did something terrible and apologizing for it and claiming I can’t remember (a.k.a. black out drunk), I’ll opt to apologize. If you’re in your 40s or 50s and having that much trouble remembering things you did and recently watched on film, you need to see a neurologist immediately. In fact, you probably should be escorted everywhere for fear you’ll forget who and where you are (Maybe that’s why Sonja has so many “interns”; they are actually caretakers to protect her from herself). With Moaner’s excessive denials and Sonja’s ridiculous fantasies about her life, this team needs an intervention. Andy should have arranged for CAT scans or MRIs as part of the reunion to check for brain injuries.

The problem is the caliber of men these exceptionally stupid women attract. They're rich until the house of cards falls down around them. Because only people this vapid would not notice how eff'ed up the finances are. Is there an anti-Mensa they can join? Something for people who can barely function in society. Joe Go and Theresa can be co-Presidents, except they won't understand what that means, fight over who is the co and who is the president and end up running in circles clucking at each other like dumbfounded chickens.

Someone has to be last in their class. What do you call the person at the bottom on their med school class that still graduated? Doctor. (a very old joke)

If the Joes can out think you, you are an idiot. He's really battling a brain trust there. I assume Jim passed the bar in a different state - the state of denial. I would only risk this if your doctor is an ophthalmologist and he can offer you some kind of protective covering to wear when you see Kim D. I'm pretty sure that looking directly into her face causes blindness or insanity.

Didn't Shannon say she had a fever? I suspect a fever for her is 98.8. Then she can rush off to her healer for whatever BS he's foisting that day.

I think it's important to note that Amber didn't just have cancer; she had "the cancer". Every time she says "the cancer" I find myself laughing. I'll let myself out . . . (Points to Gigi43 for correctly referencing the cancer.)

This episode showed just how much of the drama is manufactured. Aviva had prepared her remarks and was waiting for am opening. She didn't receive any direct feedback that justified the leg throw, but she did it anyway. The women kept getting herded back to the table so production could capture this momentous occasion. Ratings went up and the scene is being discussed, so it's a win for Bravo. The problem is we can see how the sausage is made and it is more and more full of rat feces. There were too many instances this season where people were thrown together to talk about issues that should have died on the vine. The glass throw heard around the world, bookgate, Aviva not going to Montana, etc. did not deserve the amount of time spent on them. Show it, then bring it up, then bring it up again, then show every possible grouping of women discussing it, then reassemble in different groupings and discuss it again. Once we figured out who is most riled up, make sure they get forced together to have a confrontation. More discussions in different groupings. Wash, rinse, repeat. Aviva tries to win the best drama bringer prize for Montana/Asthma to the point of throwing x-rays and then a leg. (Perhaps we can order a banner and some well wishers for her award ceremony). But all of the women are doing whatever they can to stay relevant and ensure they get another contract, some more effectively than others. In the end, all I could think was, that's not a very attractive shoe. Looks like something I owned in the 70s.

I think if I said M-U-F-F has C-O-P-D people would think I was N-U-T-S. After all, my muff doesn't have trouble breathing. Perhaps she is a prostitute that only does it in cars of a certain quality?

I'm pretty sure you would need Oops! I Crapped My Pants!

Who is pulling the strings on these puppets? You're married to a puppet and have a puppet son but someone has to move their arms and legs. That thought just ups the creepiest factor for me - there's some leering loon yanking the cords on puppet wife. I'd rather watch furries. This commercial seems to be making a comeback. All right creepy lady, we're not all pissing ourselves while waiting. Many, many people have bladder control. Thanks! She'll bring her hot pocket over to enjoy his hot pockets. I'll let myself out.

When Sonja was identifying her panties by event/location she forgot to tell us what to wear to court when a judgement is made against you. Or does she go commando to court, hoping that she can flash the judge and get a better outcome? If so, it doesn't seem to have worked.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrgh! I hated this song as a child. I would rather bang my head into a wall than have to listen to it. They keep playing this commercial during The Daily Show and Colbert. I can't get to the remote fast enough, so I have this monstrosity in my head all night. Die, chicken fat song, die! (I may feel more strongly about this than I realized.)

I think we can safely say none of the housewives were Aviva well-wishers this episode.

The commercial doesn't bother me so much for what the women know or don't know. I just hate the way they speak. It's as if they had five seconds of material and were told to stretch it to a 30 second ad. The only thing worse than the excessive pauses and stilted speech would be if she added the Anna Duggar aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand between each statement. Hate. I can now only assume that all Payday bars have a peanut about 2/3 of the way down that protrudes from the bar. Thanks Payday! I can do without eating peanut penis. Or would that be penis peanuts? Either way, no thanks.

Idiot #1: "I know my IQ. And I know my blood type." Idiot #2: "Wow!" Idiot #1: "But I don't know my credit score." First, given how stilted your speech is and how hard you seem to be reaching for each word, I'm guessing your IQ is on the low side. Either that or you've suffered severe head trauma. Second, given that your friend is so impressed she says "Wow!" I'm betting she's not too sharp either.

Two idiots cannot figure out how to eat an oblong shaped burger. Really? It's so difficult to figure out how to shove that grease bomb into your gaping maw that you have to ask your friend? And somehow it makes sense to you to shove your face in the middle of the thing. I can only hope they are so inept at eating that they choke to death.

I imagine that after each of the men is accosted by the British bum wiping lady, they start each new encounter by asking "You're not going to ask me how I wipe my ass, are you?" thereby ruining any chance they had of meeting someone. A whole bunch of women are walking away wondering what the hell is wrong with these guys and why they are obsessed with ass wiping.

Aviva's statement on the show was "On Sunday night, Cody, my father's fiance, called me (<missed word> and said, 'I just was wondering if you would mind if Miss USA slept over.' At first I was like well I don't know her and she's Miss USA so it's like she's . . . " Ramona interjects "Yeah". Aviva continues "So I said, 'Have her sleep in Harrison's room. He's at camp; the sheets are clean, blah, blah, blah.' So in the morning my dad comes out and I said 'Dad, is Miss USA sleeping up in Harrison's room?' And he says, 'No. She came over. We all fooled around. And she left." So Aviva never said that she saw Nana at the house. She instead passed on a bullshit story from her disgusting father who is still trying to convince the world he is desirable rather than repulsive.

I think it's pretty clear that George and Cody met Miss USA at a party and the disgusting old lizard made a pass at her and suggested she come to his daughter's house for a three-way with him and Cody. Miss USA had no intention of doing so. She did not come over to the house. From then I assume Cody slipped George whatever drug she uses to knock him out so he keeps his nasty old claw-like hands off of her and, in his drug-addled state, he fantasized about a three-way in which he was able to satisfy these two women (something that would only happen in his dreams). Aviva was the only one stupid enough to believe that his hallucinations were real.

I beg to differ - Eddie cared. Of course what he cared about was having turkey sausage for dinner, not Ryan, but he really care about the sausage.