Rebecca

I’m applying to NASA right now. Rocket Scientology department. The FBI and CIA are next. Gonna save me some lives, Portwood style. You can’t say I’m lying, I have the official uniform...just don’t let Amber know it’s available on amazon or she’ll have a new claim soon...

There is literally nothing attractive about Chris...aside from the fact he tortures Kailyn, of course. Dude is fugly.

Imagine what this will look like !!!

Andrew was allegedly a model in China. But he’s alleged a lot of thing so... who knows. I assumed she had to get some baby teeth taken out because her adult teeth could be harmed because of crowding or whatever. I had to have most of my baby teeth taken out, over time, because they literally never fell out and it would become a problem for various adult teeth. I never even had a cavity in a baby tooth so it’s degjnitely not necessarily something like that. Lol forever at Aleeeeeeeah saying they were going to college to not end up like Leah...just make sure you don't get pregnant before you even leave high school and you should be good, you’re probably already smarter than your mother, Aleeeeeah. I wonder what Leah's grades were like in school? Sure seemed like Leah was "playing" when it came to education in the not so distant past, while she was repeatedly bringing them to school late. I guess if she’s going to actually step up her parenting (instead of just saying these things to impress Jason) Jason being around could be a positive in that way. Maybe wanting to seem smarter will result in smarter choices overall. Missing a kid's freaking soccer game is NOT A BIG DEAL, jaysus! Javi and Kailyn both look stupid and petty. Because they are. Javi putting Lauren down on the list instead of Kailyn is shit but it's also the exact kind of thing she'd do herself...I could just see her doing just that to Jo in regard to Isaac in the past, when she was married to Javi and trying to erase Jo. @ghoulina, good point about how Kailyn should’ve given the coach the info herself. Lauren seems a bit Kailyn adjacent to me, personality wise. She's got it more together and presents much better but I feel something lurking below the surface. Something seems off to me and Javi has had bad taste in women so far so...

Maybe I missed something but wasn’t it super dramatic eye bags? Because that’s all I could see in his scenes! Or do you mean they looked even worse than when he was talking to his friend? Yikes. Either way, he clearly has the mannerisms and appearance of someone who has a long drug history, past or present to be determined, IMO. Lol! I thought Brittany moved out? Must’ve been after this? I hope she did! Live your life girl! Probably the first time she’s ever been truly relaxed in her life! She’s so different temperament-wise than The Coven that it must be so draining to be around them. (Btw, I’ve wanted to mention that I love your username 😆)

I got immediately nervous when Devoin was saying there would be no drama on their Puerto Rico trip. On a reality show that’s usually a sign of bad things to come...or good depending, haha. But I don’t want their relationship to be ruined with Roxanne throwing a lamp or something again. How can she suddenly be so calm? The last name thing is so dumb. They should both have Briana's last name, imo. Why give the girls the burden of having a different last name than the rest of the family? Maybe if the girls had the same dad and thus same (different) last name, it would make some sense but why should Stella have the name of a guy she literally never sees? And has no connection with? Aubree knows and loves the Linds so it makes sense there, even without Adumb. Stella doesn't even know any LastNameLuises that we know about. And Briana acted like it was some honor for her to have it ... ? And maybe wait and see if Devoin keeps it up first, considering he didn't do that much for years. With that I think Briana is projecting HER wants on the kids and assuming they feel the same, as she does, as @Tatum said some of the moms do in another thread. Who says Nova even wants her name changed?? Nova’s gone through many changes already and her aunt, mom and grandma have the same last name too. Nova appears to be very sensitive, I think she might be upset by having a different last name. Devoin is a thoughtful guy underneath it all the realize that. I think Nova has more his introverted, sensitive nature. It’s pretty crazy Briana didn’t even seem to think she’d notice? Of course she would. Devoin is clearly just smarter than Briana too. Nova needs him or she’s fucked with the coven! I really hope he’s truly grown as a father and keeps stepping up. I’ve always (sometimes inexplicably) kinda liked him. Please be a “Jo Rivera” (or as adjacent as possible) when it comes to parenting going forward! The DeJesus women have straaaaange ideas about men and they just keep revealing that more and more. Does Briana wish she had her deadbeat dad’s last name? I have to assume it's stemming from that? Why the hell would Brittany want to get up at 5am to go to Nova's dental surgery so she can watch Stella there? When Roxanne was going to be there too? And Devoin? I don’t understand these group dental outings! It wasn’t open heart surgery. I’m glad Brittany was like, fuck that shit. EDIT: longest post ever about Briana? Lol! Wtf!

So it’s not a competition but she’s going to reveal the grades one by one in front of the other kids? She’s making it a damn competition. And it shouldn’t be on the show in any case. Saying Addie has a “crap eating grin” is just so tacky, especially to say in front of your kids. Addie’s “what are you gonna gimme?” should’ve been corrected by at least one of them! She’s going to be a real diva brat soon if no one ever checks her. Leah just seems to think “that’s just Addie” but kids don’t learn manners (or much of anything!) without being taught them first. Obviously I can’t stfu in these threads today 😆. The episode is going to piss me off based on what we’ve seen so far. Shocking. 😝

I totally agreed until your last line. I don’t feel bad for her at all. I think she wants to be on the show and wants fame. She has that, at least, in common with Javi. Why else would she put up with any of this?

I keep seeing people saying this in different places...I don’t find him attractive at all. He looks like a turtle to me somehow...? 😆 I can’t explain it but I thought that way back in season one as well. I mean, he’s more attractive than Corey but not that much. 🤷🏻‍♀️ The only guy in TM or TM2 I’ve ever found hot is Taylor's barber. 🤤 It sure seemed like he was in a hurry to have Leah “shoot out” his kid. Also, the unwell grammar 💀 I get his point though. They aired it and didn’t have to. I mean, Leah would have no other storyline so of course they aired it but still. I definitely think Mtv ultimately controls all the narratives and can give a good or bad edit depending on their whims. From talking to guys who “lay pipe” (see last week’s episode thread if you’re dying for the whole story, lol) they work 12-14 hours a day, sometimes only having 1 day off a week when they’re at a job site. It could very well be that he is already on the job by he time she wakes up and is working until after or close to the time she goes to bed and he’s exhausted, dirty and still has to get back to his hotel. She’s in school on his lunch break. I didn’t understand it was like that until they explained they literally can’t have a life while on the job but it seems like it’s pretty legit that he just doesn’t have the chance to call, unless it’s a weekend. I think in that case I’d probably plan ahead and bring stamps and stationery with me and drop some cute little notes or stickers in the mail for Addie if I wasn’t able to speak with her very often. (I even do that for my friend’s kids when they go to camp. They love it!) She’d probably be thrilled! But most guys don’t think like that in my experience. That’s a really interesting point! I feel like they all do this - Chelsea thinks Adam and his family should just go away and let Cole adopt Aubree so she seemed to think that’s what Aubree wanted, until Aubree literally told her differently. She still seems to kind of think that, what with asking Aubree if she likes Donna coming to lunch (why wouldn’t she??) when it’s actually Chelsea who doesn’t seem like that it occurs. Jenelle does it too, in various ways. Briana might be the only one who doesn’t, or at least I can’t think of an example. Messer family recipes indicate that there’s is no “making” necessary - open the can and pour! Eat cold. 🤢

I genuinely question Sophia’s role in Farrah’s purported escorting, especially as she gets older. Ugh. Has anyone seen the movie Pretty Baby with Brooke Shields? Her mom is a prostitute and they live in a brothel and at like 12 Brooke has her virginity auctioned off and joins the other working girls. I’m hyperbolic a lot but I’m genuinely afraid for Sophia... (Btw, my best friend loved that song Fancy as a kid and had no idea what it meant at the time, she was horrified to realize it all when she was older. 😆) I genuinely mean this, she should do a master class on taking it up the ass. Master Ass Class or Ass Master Class. Teach what you actually know....there may be a small market, at least, for that. I don’t see ANY market for her entrepreneurial skills...And what’s with the hashtags? Cloud? What, when you think Farrah you don’t think “devout reader?” 🤣 Yep! It’s really starting to blow up too. I don’t really get it but I have a friend in Houston who posted about it a year or so ago. Bizarre but still less bizarre than Farrah reviewing books. Actually, the goat could probably do better at reviewing books...

He probably told her that beer was a Thing That Mattered. I know they bought the company already named but I like to think they’re referring to beers as the Things That Matter. Was there an appearance by Taylor’s hot barber friend? If not there’s no reason for me to watch this dreck. How long until we get Ryan and Mackenzie’s love story? I’d love to see that footage again.......lmao

We really need one! I usually settle for the laughing face. That’s more than I can say 😬 JFC! And the tag #HerFirstPony like it’s something everyone gets even one of, let alone a second or third! It’s not a freaking haircut. They are such idiots for doing this, especially right after having a baby. EDIT: I just realized that the post came from Catelynn’s dad...who has over 13,000 followers. What the f? Who is like, yeah, I should totally follow Catelynn from Teen Mom’s scarcely involved father!

I’m pretty sure Jace isn’t just realizing any of this, it’s just the first time it was so obvious that Jenelle couldn’t help but notice herself. A better parent would’ve already been having conversations about all of this with their child all along, so they had some understanding of the differences in their family. Was that subtle shade when Barb said that kids are asking “where’s your dad? where’s your mom?” at school? You could tell Jenelle was trying hard to keep the bitchface to a minimum when she was listening to Barb. Even when Jenelle has a slight point, it’s all bullshit coming from her, who has never actually raised Jace! If I had to guess I’d say Jenelle has done a lot more harm to Jace by being IN his life than Andrew has done staying OUT of it...so who is actually a shittier parent? I wonder how much Jace was just crying about his parental situation in general, seeing Kaiser receive so much love and attention. It’s too bad he doesn’t even get to have a “real” grandmother experience because Barb has been forced to parent him, so she can’t spoil him and act like a traditional grandparent. Jace really has so little family. It seems he only really has Barb, Colin (not sure to what extent but there have been pics), the cousins Barb is also raising and The Land creatures and his siblings that he interacts with. When is she not annoyed?! I need more context but it does sound fucked up if Javi listed Lauren as the other parent emergency contact or whatever! She’s brand fucking new in Lincoln’s life, essentially, for one and they’re not even married. They’re both so petty and all the bullshit about missing games is just so ridiculous! Most kids don’t have both parents at every damn game. Big deal! And Kailyn, switching a day should be for the child’s sake - if Javi’s insta-family is doing something special Lincoln shouldn’t be left out just so you can be an ass and not switch just to be petty. You’d think they’d understand this by now.

Lol, I was wondering what the hell was up with his Punky Brewster shoes..I used to emulate her after watching reruns of her show and do that different colored thing with shoes or socks...when I was like 6! Looks bizarre on a grown man, even if they’re sold that way. This must be staged because why the hell is he naked? Weird thing to post, in any case. Also, gross.

I don’t know that they all thought that either. I also don’t know that Chelsea never thought she’d have to work. I think what you’re saying applies to basically all of them equally. And don’t forget about Year Round Brown! She “worked her ass off” wiping down a tanning bed - just like Amber! 😆 Jenelle had that super temporary serving job she abandoned to go to Jersey with Kieffer but other than that I don’t think she’s worked a job. She’s the real spoiled one, IMO, at least Chelsea is nice to Randy and seemed grateful, Jenelle got whatever she wanted and to do whatever she wanted and treated Barb like trash the whole time. Chelsea’s family just has more money. Not something you see written every day! Lmao 😂 Agreed, though, obviously. I give her credit for not only saying they were right and she was wrong but for also calling herself a piece of shit. So she can recognize her bad behavior..that just doesn’t stop her from doing it again anyway. Because you know she will. Kailyn really gives zero fucks about being likable and it’s kinda fascinating to me. Becky looked so much better without the sumo bun! Did she and Kailyn date or whatever for awhile too? I remember some picture of them kissing, I think. I read or heard somewhere a theory that maybe Becky is kept around even when she dissents (lol) because she might be the only friend who doesn’t kowtow to Kailyn and therefore has earned her respect. She seems to have the personality for that. Maybe she’s not enraptured with Kailyn’ money and fame and therefore Kailyn can’t hold it over her. I spoke to 2 guys who do pipeline jobs like Jeremy’s this weekend at a bar (coincidentally, I wasn’t trying to research for the show, lol, they’re friends of a friend) and they said they often work 12-14 hour!!! days! Plus, they have to travel from their hotel to the job site and back and sometimes it’s 20-30 minutes away because they stay at the cheapest possible places. So if Jeremy works say, 6am-7pm or whatever that really doesn’t leave him much time for calling Addie. She’s sleeping when he’s heading to work and probably getting ready for bed when he’s off work. I’m sure he could do more but it’s not as easy as I’d assumed. They make good money because they’re basically giving up having any kind of life while working. PS: I totally outed myself as a viewer of this esteemed program to them all..I couldn’t ask them job related questions without seeming weird and overly interested in their lives (I just met them that night) but I had to ask a few questions when I heard what they did! Apparently a few other guys I know used to do pipelining too, I just didn’t know it. Now they all know I watch the show and my new guy is probably questioning everything at this point 🤣. Just for fun I asked if any women worked with them and was told it was really rare.) Right? And Devoid was like 17 when Briana got pregnant whereas Lew-issssss has got to be at least 30 based on his appearance. This! I’m surprised people would assume they moved themselves. I don’t blame them a bit for using movers (if they did), moving for a whole family is a ton of work and Chelsea was pregnant. In their position I’d definitely hire people.

Lauren sucks. I can see why she’s so insecure though, their relationship basically only exists because Briana wouldn’t continue their showmance and Lauren got pregnant. Maybe they’re made for each other 😆 PS: your past is still your past and it all still went down as it did...no tattoo covering will change that! Plus, it’s all on TV! 🙄 He has since deleted and turned off all comments. (He got the chess piece tattoo he got with Briana covered as an anniversary present to Lauren at Lauren’s request, if this isn’t clear, lol)

“Wut errr yewww talkin’ abooouuttt” is what Amber always says when she’s in her asshole rage and doesn’t know what else to say, because she’s got nothing. Moron. Also, I love that she thinks SHE, Amber Portwood, V-list “celebrity,” is going to change anything about how the media operates. Never mind all the actual “stars” that have had to deal with “false” stories and shit for decades, it’ll all change because Teen Mom cast member Amber demands it! Doesn’t she get that all they have to do is say “a source” “reportedly” says _______ and their asses are basically covered most of the time? Good luck, hooker!

(What? Quoting yourself is cool!!!) I bet $1,000 that Amber is just like, “oh noez! Sending love!!!” IF anyone actually does message her. When has this bitch ever had ANY insight? I can’t get over her claiming AGAIN that she “saves lives,” because saying such ridiculous shit before wasn’t enough. And even if she has, somehow, helped someone...ok??? Do you really want recognition for basic human decency? Amber’s show isn’t even on right now and she’s pissing me off more than Jenelle! Get this bitch out of my thoughts!

That precedent was set with Randy, remember how she used to call him at work all the damn time? Every time some little thing happened with Adam she’d call her dad while he was working to tell him and some of the times she’d be telling him to “guess” what happened and shit, like he didn’t have other things to do! Apparently she still doesn’t understand that some people actually WORK a job that doesn’t involve simply sitting around and discussing their lives on camera. I always wished that Randy would point this out to her one of the pointless times she called when she could have waited to tell him. I guess if they’re not bothered by it and Cole’s work is fine with it, whatever. But it does make Chelsea look like she can’t deal with anything alone, even just until he gets home.

But Schwartz is 5%! successful now! He’s a businessman! That erases his past because Katie sucks ass and is a hypocrite. The groom at her wedding was being compared to a battered wife right before their wedding but now she’s an expert.

Was there a dude walking on the top of a bridge in Chelsea’s last scene? What? I’m sick of them drilling Aubree about Adam and talking shit. She doesn’t need them to drive the point home. She gets it. And clearly she’s not comfortable talking about this. Just fucking STAHHHP! Leah seems to goad Addie into missing Jeremy more. She knew damn well she wasn’t going until the weekend so why say “is that ok?” when there is no choice to make? If she said it wasn’t “ok” then what? I think Leah enjoys this whole “deadbeat dad” narrative she’s trying to paint. It takes the heat off her shitty parenting in the past and it’s a way to bond with her new guy. Lew-issssss and Briana’s new boyfriend practically look like fugly twins. Briana, you wouldn’t do a damn thing without your mommy in your life so stfu. Who would wipe your ass without her? “I’m not getting his daughter a Christmas gift...” like, really, Kailyn? Take your fucking ball and go home, you clearly don’t know how to play with others. It’s sick that her mind would immediately go to Jo’s child and how she can fuck with him that way, however small and insignificant of a way it is. Kailyn is such a bitter, immature asshole. No one knows petty like Kailyn. Becky seems pretty reasonable, I enjoyed her in this episode. How long until Kailyn cuts her out for not kissing her ass enough? Or maybe she’s someone she’ll actually listen to eventually?? Perish the thought! And Vee is way too good for this show and every person on it. I never imagined I’d like her so much when we were first introduced to her. She’s literally my favorite on the whole show now. I didn’t miss anyone from Jenelleland...Barb included. 😬 I know the first thing I do after I have surgery is take a selfie of tears cascading down my face to show off my ill-fitting bandage!

Did she ever pay off any of her tax liens? And she didn’t file correctly for her boooteeek? Yeah, this is the one to take financial advice from. Not to mentioned getting fleeced by Matt, the shittiest conman ever... Go “do stock markets” and shut the fuck up!

This is fucked up so don’t @ me lol but I kind of want to message her and see what her brilliant advice is...or if she even answers. Why do I have to have stupid ethics that make me feel icky at the thought of pretending to be someone in need of help? I need a morally corrupt Faye Resnick to do it!!

How many of them would try and guess and be like, “a war in winter!”? I would love for them all to be on a competition like The Challenge when they do trivia day...dangle them over water and ask them basic questions like, “what language do they predominantly speak in Australia” and let’s see just how uneducated or dumb they are! I’d love to see who is shockingly more knowledgeable than we think they’d be. There has to be one...right??? I say we throw most of the side characters up there too!