ReadMeLattice

I'm still not really sure why Kody should take responsibility for an affair. I'm sorry but monogamous or poly, cheating is cheating. If they were monogamous and Kody was a similar sort of asshole (aka not abusive but not really very good as a husband either), we wouldn't be blaming him for the affair, we'd say we kind of understood her feelings but it was really wrong to cheat. Remember, these are *Meri's* beliefs. If my husband took three other wives I'd go off with somebody else too, but only because it's not in my religion and personal beliefs that he would be allowed to!

-polygamist families get their own planets in the celestial kingdom, where they create spirit babies for eternity -Disobedient wives or those who don't obey the gospel go to the telestial kingdom (middle) or terrestrial kingdom (bottom). People from the celestial kingdom can visit them but they can never go to the celestial kingdom. They can't be with their families forever. - outer darkness is only for people who have felt the Spirit and deny it. (Former Mormon)

I actually don't think she's on drugs, at least anymore. I think she's just a shitshow.

You don't "overcome" major depression, you manage it. If it's for a time, it's situational depression, not major clinical depression. She's in denial or was never depressed. And I think it's the former.

My husband's took a year to get last time with all the red tape. He is a quadriplegic but has great control over his body unlike Ali, so I don't know what extras she would need, but his was $50,000. Insurance paid for $40,000 of it. I'm assuming a pediatric wheelchair is more like $30,000, but again that depends a LOT on the individual needs. His wheelchair van was $100,000, but he drives it so it's specialized for him. One like they have (where the person in a wheelchair is a passenger, not a driver) would be around $50,000. That's all out of pocket, no insurance pays for that (unless there's some magical insurance I don't know about). I totally agree that they're equally uninterested. It's more than a shame, it's fucked up.

One "without all the bells and whistles" would likely seriously injure her if used at all regularly, wheelchairs aren't interchangeable if you don't have full control over your body. But yes, they could afford it, though they'd have to pay out of pocket. Insurance won't pay for more than one. A wheelchair would likely not be broken by kids jumping on it. What breaks it is fiddling with the various attached parts and bending them (usually happens because airline employees aren't trained to work them and don't want to ask, so they force the metal parts to do things they're not meant to do) or grown men shoving against something else heavy. It takes strength and force to break it. Of course the main issue is that they don't want her to be in a wheelchair. It embarrasses and upsets them. They should realize that their ableism and selfishness are only hurting their child. I think both of them are equally at fault. Corey will never get a pass for that with me just because he's a nice guy and Leah sucks. A nice guy can still be ableist and ignorant and endanger his child because of his own hangups about wheelchairs. Leah likely just doesn't put her in it because she's lazy and doesn't care enough, but the motivations don't matter. What matters is the outcome for Ali. The fact that I personally like Corey and hate Leah, which I do, doesn't make the outcome of the wheelchair issue any different for their daughter.

All airlines are terrible about breaking wheelchairs. It's the one time I believe Leah. They are rough and untrained with them. They've broken my husband's power chairs several *dozen* times (not an exaggeration). He travels often for work. He's posted instructions on them, even-- they just push and shove them and willfully remove or jam parts around, like they do with luggage, except that you're a lot more screwed if they bust your wheelchair. It's not just a matter of money-- power chairs are made to fit your body. If something is crooked or bent, it can give you a pressure sore or really injure you. And wheelchair repair is not easy to find or fast. We take photos before and after now every time to prove it. It's gotten to the point that we just assume the footrests at least will be removed or broken. If they're not we're excited.

*Sigh* She tires me.

I forget about that sometimes because it's downright traumatizing...Seriously awful. :( The animal abuse and neglect on this show is truly astounding.

So Nathan's pending charges are for domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature and burglary from August, and driving with an open alcohol container, domestic violence in the 2nd degree and giving false information to a police officer from last month. Do we have any idea what that last one is about?

I know it's an unpopular opinion but Chelsea irritates the shit out of me. I still like her the best though despite finding her annoying, that's how bad the other ones are.

Wasn't she the one who told him not to come over anymore and he just obeyed her wishes? Honest question, I'm having a hard time keeping up with the timeline of events because the catfish story they've told is so convoluted. And if so, do we know if that was after or before the affair started?

I've definitely had panic attacks when I had flashbacks to prior abuse that left me screaming (though not at people, especially not kids) and absolutely needing to be alone. Irritability is a sign of a panic attack too. They all look very different. Some look like rage, others sobbing, others hysteria like Leah's, others hyperventilating, others mania, others almost depressive. So I believe her when she says it's a panic attack-- looks familiar to me. However, before you have kids who are going to do normal kid things, you have to get something of a handle over this. They might understand that Mommy gets very anxious, but you have to have some control before you choose to procreate. And after growing up with an untreated BPD mom (I don't blame her for having BPD but I do blame her for never being treated and my dad for not making her go), I can say that while I feel compassion for her now, her rages were abusive to me. It's not fair to other people. It's all really sad because while I believe Leah probably really does have a bad mental health problem, her choices and the enabling by those around her are desperately hurting her children, who will likely grow up with many mental health issues of their own. These things happen in cycles. Having three little children when you have mental health problems and daddy issues, as well as Leah's unrelated character flaws of being materialistic, ignorant, and selfish, is hard for you but it's even harder for the kids who end up being collateral.

I know right...This seems so laughable to me. Who would believe that story?! At the same time, it's really Nathan's fault she got acquitted-- he claimed to be a witness but they found he was lying/his story changed, so they had no reliable narrative, thus "reasonable doubt." I bet if he hadn't lied to the police so many times, she'd have been convicted. At least I hope so, because come on. That story was such a fucking joke. If I was Jessica I'd rue the day I got involved with this! She's been assaulted three times now?

As someone who's struggled with eating disorders on both ends of the spectrum due to depression and PTSD, I will say that sometimes that "easy 30 minute walk" is like climbing a mountain. It really can be impossible. And comfort food can be an addiction (as can losing weight). I've been there, on both sides. I don't like Catelynn at all and I understand that things are different when you're a parent, but unfortunately mental illnesses don't just disappear when you become a parent and that "tiny effort" is exactly what you may not be able to do when you are that mentally ill. It's only tiny and easy if you're not in that position. Not getting help is literally an aspect of mental illness. You can't just pull yourself up by your bootstraps or think "I'd feel better if I did this". It's not a rational disorder. Not being able to do small things to improve your daily life *is* exactly what mental illness often looks like. As someone who's experienced a lot of trauma, I feel for Cate because she obviously has too and that will always affect her. But I waited to have kids until I had found my way out of the woods, which meant waiting until my late 20s. I will always have a mental illness but it is now manageable. What I do fault her for most is bringing a child into that. It's not her fault she has a currently untreated mental illness but it's also not her daughter's fault and that sucks for their child. A third of our population has a mental illness and I don't think it's wrong to have a child if you are mentally ill, but you do need to be at a basic level of functioning, which she is not. And I fault Tyler for agreeing to it, honestly even more than I fault her, while being the non mentally ill person in the situation.

All LDS people are taught they will have their own planet in the afterlife. Well, the man will. If the woman has been obedient, he will allow her to live on the planet with him producing spirit children for eternity. I think it's more likely than not that Mariah will have children. In some states, 60% of same sex couples are raising children. And as sperm donors and surrogacy have recently become much more accessible, the number will rise. A federal law was recently passed that doesn't allow for discrimination against same sex couples by adoption agencies. Even with all the discrimination of the past and the many structural barriers, 25% of same sex couples are currently raising kids, and only 50% of heterosexual couples have them now anyway-- fewer and fewer people are having kids at all, so there's no guarantee you'll have grandkids regardless. I assume it will become a majority very soon due to the new law. I guess I'm more cynical about Meri, I don't believe she was ever truly scared or frightened except about getting caught in what she had done wrong, and about possibly not being able to be seen as a victim. Her sister wives and even Kody have made it clear that they feel she was a victim. They've gone to therapy and attempted to preserve her reputation and paint her as the innocent in the situation. Robyn, Janelle, and Christine have all made it clear that she was being "threatened" and how bad they feel for her. They've spoken out against people who insulted her on the internet and refer to her as a catfishing "victim," not an active participant. Kody has urged her daughter and TV audiences to forgive her, and has publicly taken the blame for her affair which was actually her choice, not his. In my opinion that is more kindness and compassion than she even deserves. What else were they supposed to do exactly? They've shown her quite a bit of love. Personally I didn't see a shred of blame or accusation from them. On the contrary, they've made endless excuses for her and painted her as a naive, angelic survivor of violence.

@3girlsforus, I'm so confused about that too. It's all well and good that they accept Mariah, but if they actually believe in their religion doesn't that mean she lost her way to heaven and is committing a grave sin? It's good in one sense that their daughter is more important than their beliefs, but if they don't really have those beliefs...Why are they doing this?

I guess I don't get why the sister wives should have been comforting and tender towards *Meri?* We can judge the inequality of the marriage according to our own standards all we like, and I do, but at the same time Meri chose this, is an adult, professes to still believe in polygamy and is a supposedly devout fundie Mormon. Her beliefs may have changed but her marriage arrangement hasn't. In any other cheating situation, isn't the person being cheated on the one who deserves comfort and tenderness, not the lying cheater involving her kid in her affair and embarrassing her family? Meri doesn't consider herself divorced and she still appears on the show, where she's accepted paychecks for defending her religion and marriage for multiple seasons...In any other situation we might feel bad that their marriage wasn't going well, but it's still not Kody's *fault* she cheated rather than leaving. And he deserves to be left, he's a douchebag supreme. But Meri as victim worthy of tender care? Nah.

Thing is, I know several polyamorous people (I'm in a super hippie neighborhood/academic circle) who are married and have perfectly functional relationships with multiple spouses. I could never, but it can work. It's the narcissism, creepy religion and fundamental inequality of it all that make it so dysfunctional. As a woman in that religion you literally know that *all* of you is worth *one fourth* (or whatever fraction is relevant) of a dude. Even a pretty losery dude like Kody. No matter what anybody says, that can't just never enter your mind. When he's being a complete asshat or just an average sort of "whatever" guy, you've got to sometimes think, "so I'm worth a fourth of THIS guy's attention and love?" In the poly relationships I've seen work, anyone can have multiple partners, everyone is open and honest about their affection unlike the Browns, and anyone of any gender can have a partner of any gender. At the same time, I'm so fucking past having any shred of sympathy for Meri. Cheating is cheating no matter the arrangement, and she signed up for this and is a grown ass woman. She was only willing to leave because she thought she had a *rich* man on the line so she wouldn't have to work. On the other hand, go Mariah. Wish we'd heard more of that instead of so much MareBear and Kodouche. This also explains a lot of her frustration. I can't imagine figuring out I was gay after having grown up in a polygamous fundamentalist family, being at home with my mom for a summer and then watching her ignore me to get catfished by a person I know is a woman. A lot of the coverage of the event was not only embarrassing, but also contained homophobic slurs and claimed Meri had a "lesbian lover," making it sound pornish and salacious. That must have been a mindfuck at a time when you were considering coming out. *Then* Meri kept trying to chat with her endlessly about the catfish and bully her into a good relationship. Bet she feels weird about it now.

Happy for her! I hope her family supports her as they should.

There IS a lot of great beer in Ireland, though. And a lot of pubs! And I still don't get why it's obnoxious to talk to your own friends about gender politics? I don't love her, I just really feel like I'm missing something, lol. Maybe I know too many college kids. Her Twitter feed is tame, feminist, progressive, and way less obnoxious than most of theirs, with the same focus on Harry Potter. Mariah seems like any other young 20 something figuring her shit out to me. Maddie and Mykelti with their uber-young marriages and false promises to work and go to school bug me a hell of a lot more. At least this girl has a job and an education. Logan seems cool and hardworking too, though he posts a lot of braggy shirtless photos of himself. *Shrug*

Where did she say she was educating instead of discussing, or how much she was drinking?! The drinking post was completely separate and not even at the same time... and who knows if the people she was chatting with were sober or not either? Everybody makes jokes like that on vacation (about drinking). She says she was having a discussion with FRIENDS. I don't see how one gets educating strangers drunkenly from that...But my friends and I constantly talk about gender politics and joke about how frequently we discuss it. Idk. Seems like a total NBD to me. I don't know, I guess I just don't get it. Seems like a big stretch to me. Plenty to snark on without getting grossed out because she drank in Ireland and talked to her friends. Lol.

I didn't see anything about "binge drinking" except that she was in a pub and in a separate tweet saying she's taken a lot of snaps of beer in Ireland, both of which seem very normal...

Omg, that puts so much into perspective. I'd be enraged too. I'm also not really seeing why posting harmless Tumblr erotic pictures (sorry, I'm sex positive and a millennial so maybe I don't get the problem?) is morally equivalent to cheating...You can post things like that, hell, even be in porn yourself, and be upset that your mom cheated on your dad. They aren't at all related. Cheating is not morally the same as being openly sexual. Also, I grew up religious and was really strict like Mariah. My views changed. A lot. That's not hypocritical, it's growing up. The only people at fault there were the ones putting it on TV.

I don't get the problem with the gender roles discussion? Maybe she was asking them how they differ in Ireland from the U.S. I would if I had the chance, that's super interesting.