Drogo

Paige looking for this alleged big chest like

Sounds like a contract marriage; getting married just to give your spouse benefits.

Pavilion. Sauna. Pool. Slants. Slope ceilings. (I blame HGTV.)

Beach 4 all day (and night.)

Stephanie & Ryan: Old Ladyville

Stephanie & Ryan: Sexual Harrisment

Jovi & Yara: Swamp Things

What, no clever topic title? Blasphemy! Brandon & Julia: Green Card Acres

I just don't understand where these slobs like Mike and Colt find the cashews to give beautiful (certifiable, but beautiful) women feedback on physical appearances of all things.

"You're all greasy and slimy." This is why you're single, Mike. The balls on this guy to tell her what proper hiking lipstick protocol is when his hoodie looks like a vacuum bag full of cottage cheese and his chin looks like someone's armpit.

We'll catch you at The Max for burgers, Little Buddy.

If he refuses, just point at him and scream "NO DEAR, NO!!!!! NO WAY! JUST STOP IT! I'M NOT GIVING IN, DEAR!!" (And tell him you're so upset you can't even eat, but eat your 25 chicken wings anyway.)

I have never ever ever encountered anyone who got takeout from Hooters. *Shay has entered the chat.*

Episode summary:

I've always been particular to Wheel of Fortune, but I'd probably know the answer but land on "Lose A Turn" every spin. There was a show called "Moment of Truth" a few years back where contestants took a polygraph ahead of the taping then were asked a portion of the same questions live in front of the host/audience and their loved ones... they had to give the answer the polygraph had determined to be true. Certainly the questions chosen to be used on the show were the worst ones (ex: people admitting to infidelity or theft) but for a non-degenerate it should've been an easy $500K.

Prepare to be mindblown...

I think Garnier Fructis would like to offer Cindy $1M dollars to never use their products again.

Dad and daughter had both been eating diet noodles which were banned for being dangerous and indigestible, so they were checking him out too.

Also I'll never understand the "our private life should be private" coming from people who get dressed each day with a cameraman on the other side of their bed.

I just think you should all know I have an IQ of 865 but I'm married so I'm never right.

I forgot these existed, but they were the shit. This kid probably turned into a Michelin-star chef because his palate is clearly impeccable.

And the boyfriend is the GMC commercial jackass who bought himself a much more expensive truck than he bought his wife, but luckily he likes red.

I don't think Morgan meant socially awkward, I thought she meant clumsy or unskilled and annoyingly self-deprecating. Mostly I think she was telling her that if she's not confident in and excited about her abilities and treatment ideas, no one else will be either. FWIW I think Morgan would consider Shawn under the second description.

Corn Flakes... yesterday, tomorrow, forever.