PhoneCop

A Pepsi and milk Quickfire! Or the contestants lean into it during Restaurant Wars and the two restaurants are Dead Lazlo's vs. Betty Please. Or

Yeah, Minneapolis was one of my guesses for the next city. (Other guesses: Atlanta, Philadelphia, Honolulu.) Another time, perhaps. Kristen works for me. It'll be interesting to see how she puts her own imprint on things.

I can't believe the judges had Anna and Basic Brittany in their net and let both get away! That said, Wes Gordon and his RBF are welcome back anytime. Laurence is from France, Kara Saun was born in Germany. Just like Milli Vanilli!

Ah, okay. I didn't start watching until Season 3. Plus I thought I read somewhere along the way that the phrase was Padma's addition, but evidently not. As long as it's not Seacrest, Julie Chen, or that Jeopardy producer...

You guys, Pat Sajak is available!!! I have nothing to add to the pros and cons of Gail vs. alums vs. name chefs, I think people have hit all the salient points. The detail I keep wondering about is: Should the new host keep PYKAG, or should that remain Padma's phrase? On the one hand, the new host needs to stake out their own identity, but on the other, it's not specific to Padma in the way "Auf Wiedersehen" was to Heidi Klum, plus there's something to be said for continuity. So IDK.

I'd be down for both returning. Hell, I wouldn't be mad if all three got another shot because I'm not particularly in favor of double elims this late in the game, at least on this show, but oh well. It's funny how I've come around on Sara—I really didn't care for her in her initial season (I was firmly Team Eric), but she kind of won me over in Macau. And if she is knocked out in this round, I'll miss her little kitchen hacks, like chilling the meat grinder to keep it from gumming up.

Victoire's excitement over being invited to judge (well, "judge") was the cutest. I'm glad Tom didn't leave her on the sidelines since nobody picked her as a sous. I guess I can expect to be equally happy and disappointed next week.

NGL, there are things at Retro I would totally try because the idea of Crap Nouveau cuisine is kind of amusing. And the Volts being Gen-Xers, at least we're spared, like, elevated aspics. But yeah, this is like a menu assembled from Quickfires. The sillier ones. I think the success of this project hinges on how drunk a clientele they can attract.

No, but I'm wondering if his parents encouraged him to take part. "Now the world will see why we favor his brother."

Damn, Nicole must've served up some leeks à la Dead Sea for Tom to find them excessively salty. I actually thought she had the win for a minute, not that I'm mad to see Charbel continue. Most of the cuts from here on out will be painful anyway.

Right. Matthew = unforced injury. Just Matt = Frannie's albatross. OMG, yes. I feel like every time Jeff says that, Marvin Gaye facepalms in his grave.

I would've opted to make it go poof in a cloud of pixie dust. Or pixel dust, I suppose. C'mon, ladies! You still have the numbers—it's not too late to pick off the guys! Start with Danny, then toss a coin.

Jackson from 42. Prior to that, you'd have to go back to Pat from DvG, then all the way back to Neal from Brains/Brawn/Beauty.

"This is not Top Spud!" Tom and Victoire charm me more with each passing week, so I'm hoping they can both hang in there a while longer. But all the cuts will hurt at this point—I didn't expect Begoña to be out this soon. And I wonder if this week's edit is setting up Buddha for a fall.

I'm officially paying more attention to the live thread than the actual show these days. Tedious, predictable challenges. Excessive idols that take the game from chess to crapshoot. And nuSurvivor elements like Earn the Merge that already feel tired. Too many ingredients don't make for a better recipe, Jeff. Felt bad for Josh as a person because he's been through so much, but as a player, it was a mercy killing.

Marty. It's Jason! 😃

A double shantay for the LSFYL wouldn't have been unwarranted on its own—Anetra's Free Willy leap over Marcia's Exorcist spider walk alone was fantastic—but I can see how Marcia's inexperience and limited drag tipped the scales against it. I definitely look forward to seeing her on All-Stars in two or three years, though. I'm just disappointed we didn't get to see more of what she can do as a dancer before she left—I was surprised she didn't change, since that dress probably held her back from cutting loose with the gymnastics. She and Blair definitely would be a killer twink duo. Marcia's better at the singing and dancing, Blair's better at the actual drag part of things, they'd just need a solid comedy queen to round things out.

I'm glad Untucked clarified how much they knew about Marcia's skill set at that point. They were aware she was a dancer, but I imagine Malaysia might've chosen differently if she knew Marcia was also a competitive gymnast.

They really should but I don't think we'll be so lucky. Trejo doing Vanjie >>>>>> everything else. ETA: Loosey's definitely my favorite, but gurl: It's fine to say you're disappointed you weren't in the top once you're backstage. Once. Then let it go.

I guess they knew it might be the end of the road, so they wrote a season finale that could also function as a series finale. Which I think it does well. But yeah, I've always wondered what a fifth season might've been like. Would the station's ratings trajectory have changed? Would Les' McCarthy-era Commie paranoia have evolved into Reagan-era Evil Empire rhetoric? Would Herb finally update his wardr...okay, not that one. Besides another round of Lucille, they could've brought back Michael Pataki and Michael Fairman, each playing their third character on the show. And Sam Anderson as his fifth.

Lucille left such an impression that it's kind of crazy that in four seasons, Edie McClurg only made three appearances—Johnny's goodbye party, the one where Lucille and Herb separate ("I had impure thoughts at the kiln!"), and Real Families. The show burning an episode on Sparky Anderson instead of bringing back Lucille for another go-around was certainly a choice. Speaking of supporting players, I love Carol Bruce as Mama Carlson. Lillian was so smart, formidable, and ruthless, yet not wholly unlikable, which is a tough line to walk but Bruce did it well. The show really lucked out with Sylvia Sydney not continuing in the role after the pilot.

Ryan is a curveball. Not only did I half-forget about him by the finale, I'd've thought Noelle would be the clear choice for Most Inspirational Cast Member. I guess one sees the world differently though the bangs of a giant two-tone wig.

Quoting myself just because that didn't age quite the way I expected.

The veterans thing puts a redemptive spin on this mess of a season. (Open memo to CBS/Probst: Matching donations—rarely a bad look.) But man, I hope 44 is edited by actual editors; I don't think the interns they used for this one have a future in the biz. I like Jesse, but this should not have been his 13-episode audition reel for a returnee season.

Yet another reason I'm sad there's no Ponderosa: I would've enjoyed seeing the jury's complete non-reaction to Sami's dramatic revealing of his actual age.